All language subtitles for 13-Su

Hello, Tasty, you sexy treat.

Good morning, Dodger. Well, you're right
on time as usual, which is more than I

can say for Leg Man.

I guess it's just you and me, then.

Oh, I guess it's just you, because I've
got to get out of here.

Aren't you forgetting something?

What? Well, the big meeting, first
Monday of every month, remember?

Where we get the usual riot act from the
big chief.

Right, and Connors will be right on
time, as usual.

Mr.

Perfection, that's what he expects from
everybody else.

Well, I'm going to go take a break. I've
got to get out of here.

Five minutes to blast off.

Enjoy it while you can.

See you at the meeting.

This is Tasty Raisins. You're a cheerful
good morning, girl.

Getting all you sleepyheads out of bed
and entertaining all the commuters out

there. In just a moment, we'll be giving
you the update on the freeway

situation. But for now, let's hear a
little light rock from the mother's

condition on the latest traffic report
in just a few minutes.

But first, some smooth rhythms from some
of your favorite people, the plumb

line.

Oh, baby, I want you to fuck me in my
mouth.

I want you to come all over my mouth,
all over my face.

Oh, suck that big cock.

Take it

all in, oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Of course.

Good morning again to all. And for all
you sleepy -eyed working people out

trying to move the other day, here's a
little help from Culture Crash.

And afterwards, we will definitely be
giving you that freeway update.

What?

Freeway update?

After the number?

Shit. I haven't even written it yet.

I'll get her for this.

I gotta get out of here.

Who's that asshole?

The court's almost due and he isn't even
here yet.

Sally, I have some papers for you to
file. I've got something to do with legs

first.

And that was some amazing noise we just
heard.

And now for that traffic report we've
all been waiting for.

Don't call it a jam. Tune in to Leg Man.

Leg Man Mac here bringing you the latest
on the freeway situation.

All freeways are running normal,
although heavy with early morning

The 405 had a mishap about 20 minutes
ago in the northbound lane, and that

up traffic for a couple of miles.

But that's been cleared away and, uh...
Uh... Everything's back to

normal. Now, the 210 freeway is running
along smoothly.

And the Hollywood freeway is running to
a little small in the past.

But that's nothing normal.

Hell, I was just on the goddamn freeway.
It was the worst jam this year.

Should have fired that guy before I even
hired him.

Back to you, Tasty.

Thank you, Legman.

That was a very concise report we just
heard.

And now for some more music, back from
the electric cool shoes.

Legman!

Oh, yeah.

I swear to God, either you get your shit
together or I'm going to do my best to

get you bounced.

Take these pants off me. I want you to
fuck me.

Right here?

Yes.

on my desk.

Good morning, Evelyn.

Oh, Mr. Connors. It's Judd Rines.

Oh, shit.

I don't want to talk to him. Tell him
I'm not here.

He's not on the phone. He's in your
office.

Damn! Why did you let him in?

Well, because he said he'd drop all the
ads this morning if I didn't let him in.

Good reason.

Judd! What brings you here?

You know damn well I'm here. Sit down,
Gary.

Judd, I'm afraid I... I don't know what
you're talking about.

Ratings, Gary.

What ratings?

Your ratings.

K -N -U -T's ratings.

Gary, they're shit.

Oh, those ratings.

They're not quite what we expected for
this quarter. Gary?

They're not up by the end of the week.
I'm going to pull every damn ad I'm

running with you. I don't think I need
to tell you what'll happen if

and Rhymes pulls their ad.

Now, now, Judd, don't you think they're
overreacting a bit here? Not one damn

bit.

By the end of the week. Understand?

There you go, Mr. Conner. Take these.

Yeah. You'll be knee -high.

Oh.

It's been riding you hard?

That's an understatement.

We are faith for the major crisis,
Emily.

Major.

Just take a deep breath.

That's right.

You really shouldn't let this worry you,
Mr. Conner. He says the same thing

every month.

I know.

He just likes driving down here to let
off some steam.

I know he does.

You know, why else would a big
advertising agent drive all the way down

just to talk to us?

If he really wanted to pull some ads,
he'd use the phone.

There's no logic to this guy.

He is a born sadist. I know for a fact
he is. And I know he says the same thing

every month. And I know he likes to blow
off steam.

But the difference is, now, I think he
really means it. Oh, come on.

Do you really think so? I know so.

Before, the ratings were just going
down.

Now, the ratings are so low, I think
there's no place else to go but under.

You have a point, Mr. Connors. Now, get
those idiotic DJs into the conference

room right now.

Right away, Mr. Connors.

And that was some wild rhythm by the
Brass Knuckles, singing for your

pleasure, How'd You Like a Poke in the
Eye?

I know I wouldn't.

What is the catchy little tune for this
bright, sunny Southern California

weather? And now how about a really
great classic, Flight of the Bullfrogs,

real rockabilly band called Big Style.

Time for the big meeting.

Oh, no. This again?

Oh, yes, this again.

Be ready for a heavy one this time.

Hmm.

And now for 30 minutes non -stop rock
and roll.

You guys are a bunch of pinheads.

You are the worst DJs I've ever seen in
radio.

And you better do something about it.

Like assholes in the unemployment
office. He gives that same speech every

What's that, Dodger? I was just saying
that we've done everything we can. We've

tried specializing in rock and roll,
rhythm and blues. Look, Connors, I've

in the station since we've been playing
country western and bluegrass and all

that shit.

And nothing has worked. Yeah, not to
mention all that punk rock, New Wave,

the other anti -music noise last year.
Yeah, and the listeners kept complaining

we played the same songs over and over.

Everybody does, Top 40.

Exactly.

That's what you guys have to come up
with. Something different.

A new formula for KNUT that works.

But we've tried everything, boss.

And you.

That freeway report you did was totally
inaccurate.

I was on the freeway this morning, and
it was a 15 -car pileup, and you said

freeway was clear.

And I had to tune in to KBUT to find out
what the fuck was going on.

And you know what mood listening to KBUT
gets me into.

I'm sorry, boss, but that's the way it
came over the computer.

You know. I mean, we just have to get
our updates faster, that's all.

Update my ass.

You fucked up, Mac, because you were
fucking up.

The next time, you're fired.

Gee, she's really writing Leg Man today.

I don't think this is the usual bull.
Now, I get the feeling that you guys

think that I was playing games this past
year.

I just got the word from our largest
advertising company, Water, Millions,

Rhymes, that unless the ratings are up
by next week, kaput!

That's your job.

At this point, I don't care what you do.
I don't even want to listen to your

stupid -ass nine ideas.

I don't care what you do to improve the
ratings.

I just want them up by the end of the
week.

Now, I'm going to leave this room, and
I'm going to let you guys think about

what's going on.

And let this new crisis sink in a bit.

The ratings aren't up by Friday.

I'm not going to fire you.

Because there's not going to be a
station to fire you from.

Understand?

Pretty grim pep talk this morning,
wasn't it?

Grim hell.

That was a nuclear thief.

I've never seen him that upset.

Ted Rines is in this morning.

Yeah, but he's here once a month with
the same speech.

Yeah, but this time he thinks he really
means it.

Rines is so pissed. He wants Connors to
bleed before this station goes under.

That sounds bad.

So what are we going to do?

Actually, I got an idea.

The way I look at it, we're all going to
be out of a job by the end of next week

anyway, right?

It's a fair assessment of the situation.

So why don't we just blow it off?

I mean, go out with a bang.

Why even try?

Everything we've done this past year has
failed anyway.

Well, taste me, you know you got a
point, but I must ask you, what the hell

you getting at?

Let's just do everything we've always
wanted to do. Like, I've always wanted

answer real sexy letters over the air.

I've got this hot porn record that will
blow every circuit in the FCC's ass.

Yeah, and we could sell ants for...

Sex toys, dildos, things like that, and
then we wouldn't need Judd Ryan.

And sexy stories.

Like I've always wanted to tell the
filthiest, nastiest, sexiest story ever

on the air. Or give sexual advice, like
Dr. Ruth Goldheimer does.

Fuck the traffic. We can give updates on
traffic in whorehouses and

streetwalkers. And advice on where the
vice cops aren't. To hell with the

letters. Let's take live sex calls over
the air.

Seriously, guys.

We've got to start thinking of some real
ideas.

I am serious.

Just look at it this way. As far as I'm
concerned, we're doomed.

Nothing's going to work.

But just suppose the sex stuff, which
people are going to listen to, does up

rating. Then we'd have done it, right?

We'd have done the impossible.

Hey, Tasty, we could do a simulcast with
cable TV or the old hot rock videos you

did with your group, the sex sets. Yeah,
that'd be great.

I don't know about this.

What have we got to lose?

Our jobs.

And our jobs are already down the toilet
anyway, right?

So what are we waiting for?

Let's do it.

Let's go. Come on. I

thought

you had a date or something.

I ain't going to miss this. Besides, I
don't think you're going to last a day,

let alone a week.

What a good point there.

Hello, all you sexy listeners out there.
This is Tasty Tastings with an all

-new, all -sex call -in program called
Tasty Strix.

If you'd like to call in and just talk
about a sexual fantasy or any kind of

sexual problem, or even if you'd like to
just get off over the airway, call us

right now at 306 -3508, and we'll answer
that call for you. But right now,

here's a little message from Dodger, you
are.

Thanks,

Tasty. I'm almost creaming in my jeans
right now just listening to that sexy

voice of yours.

Now, for all you guys out there who
might have an occasional problem getting

up, here's a new product just for you.

It's called Peter Popper.

It's a rub -on gel that gets that love
-making tool hard as a rock.

It's available through Dodger at care of
KNUT for only, and this is the good

part, For the low, low price of only 50
bucks.

That's right. For 50 bucks... Evelyn,
send in Creamy.

That was wonderful, Dodger. You know, I
couldn't use that the other night.

You mean you couldn't get it up?

No, no, silly.

My date couldn't get it up. If I had
some of that Peter Popper, well, I

be as frustrated as I am right now.

Well, Tasty, it just so happens that I
have a sample bottle right here.

Would you come back here and rub my
shoulders?

Are you listening to the radio?

Hell no.

Turn that thing off.

I can't stand listening to that crap
that's going on around here.

Aren't you going to do anything about
it?

I am.

I am.

Turn it off.

Yeah, that feels good.

Gary.

What? About this job you gave me.

Yeah? What am I supposed to be doing?

You are an advertising rep.

But the only thing I've done is massage
your shoulders and go out to dinner with

you. I haven't even met any of your
clients.

Exactly.

That's what an advertising rep does.

Now, how about coming around and...

massaging a real stiff joint.

Creamy.

Oh, cream.

Mmm.

Oh, God.

Bye.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

They call her on the air.

Hello, this is Tasty Tasters. Go ahead.

Hi, Tasty.

This is Sherry from Bakersfield.

This is, like, really exciting because
my boyfriend and I are in bed right now,

nude. And we've got this problem.

No problem with sex. Just the fun stuff.

Yeah. We saw this movie, Last Tango in
Paris.

You know, the one with Marlon Brando and
Marie Schneider in it.

And that incredible...

butter thing.

Ever since we saw that, we've been
wanting to do it Greek style.

But it hurts. Can you help us?

We've tried everything.

Butter, margarine, even vegetable oil.

And every time my boyfriend, Max, tries
to put his dick in my asshole, it still

hurts. I can help you out there. I've
done it many times.

First of all, forget the butter.

Max keeps that by the bed.

Then find yourself a variety of dildos.
We keep those by the bed too.

Start with the smallest and work your
way up to Max's choosing.

Now I'm sure you and Max want a little
time to try this out on your own. So

give you some nice hot music to do anal
by.

Called Backdoor Annie by Incest in the
Cream Cheese.

A hot new group from Jersey.

You like that?

Oh, yes. Oh, you're such an animal. All
right. Are we moving on to the other

side? Sounds like you know what you're
doing already.

Oh, yes.

Tight. You like that, huh?

Here it goes.

You want a bigger one now, Sherry? No.

Ready for the big one? I'm ready.

Okay, let's try a bigger one.

Yes, a big one.

You better be ready for this.

Oh, God, I know.

Oh, God, I can feel it.

There you go, Sherry. Oh, God, I want
the real thing.

I'm just ticking my eyes.

I want the real thing.

I want the real thing. I want your dick
in my asshole.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

Huh?

Huh?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

Put your eyes a little tighter.

Oh, that feels so good.

Oh, got it now, baby.

Oh, God, I think I've cut out.

Oh, don't move. Stay there.

And that's all the time we have for
Tasty's tricks right now.

But next is the sports with Leg Man Mac.

In the world of golf, Fuzzball Zola won
the U .S. Open for the third time in a

row.

But it was that last green where he
kissed his balls for luck, wrapped his

firmly around his putter, gave it a good
stroke, and it went right into the hole

for the climax of the tournament.

Back to you, Tasty.

Thank you.

Thank you, Leg Man.

I wouldn't have thought Gary had the
guts to put something like that on the

By the way, be prepared for the new
Legman Mac news program, the Hooker

Report. It's a convention favorite.

No man with a hundred bucks in his
pocket and an itch in his pants should

the streets without first knowing where
the hookers are and the vice cops are.

KNUT will be bringing you an all -new,
ultra -sexy bedtime hour program.

I don't know what's come over me.

I get so horny listening to this.

I've got to find somewhere.

And DJ Dick Clark will host another new
program, a simulcast of X -rated videos.

Stay tuned for more on that coming soon.

But for now, the music just grew back.

What's got into you?

Haven't you heard?

Heard what?

Your DJ.

Uh, tomorrow.

I don't want to think about this anymore
today.

So you haven't been listening today?

Hell no.

Good night.

And, uh, don't look so athletic.

Evelyn, what did you say?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Oh, he wasn't listening.

But I was.

You've got my back. You're so hot.

Just dying for a big hard cock.

Madeline, not here, please.

Get

up

here.

Go ahead, eat me.

I want to eat you.

Stick your driver in there.

But you're a hot cock.

Are you still here?

This is Tasty Tastin' signing off for
the evening.

To all you guys, keep it up. To all you
girls, keep it hot.

Coming up real soon, taking over the
helm, is that fabulous Dr.

Fermento.

Well, hello out there in radio land.

It's a cool evening out there, so that
means those bedrooms had better start

heating up.

You know, all this new programming kind
of got me a little, uh, hot, you know.

How about you come on over to my house
and I'll help you cool down a little?

Oh, that's a date, but this one's not
for broadcast.

You got a deal?

I've got a little note here that later
on we are inviting Tasty's Fantasy

Contest when a delicious young...

girl by the name of captain mitchell to
give her a grand tour of the studio but

first we have a real treat for you and a
new song by hauling ass is called

methods of modern sex

I love you.

asking me if I've been listening.
Listening to what?

That.

What is that?

Your station.

My station?

Oh, it's so wonderful, Barry.

That cheap shit that's coming from K -N
-U -T.

Look, it's a dial.

Put your gun down.

Where are those goddamn shells?

Oh, there aren't any, and you're not
going anywhere tonight.

I'm wrong.

Totally wrong.

Oh, I think it's neat.

Neat? You think it's neat when the FCC
is going to pull my license?

When Ryan...

Talk about this in the morning.

I don't know.

Right now.

I'm going to do some action.

after one of the tastiest fantasy
contests is here right now, and that's

Kathy Mitchell. She's a young and very
sexy, sexy lady that has

always fantasized about being with a DJ.

Mm -mm.

And we're going to be doing that right
now. And Kathy, why don't you say hi out

there to Radioland?

Hi, everybody. I'm like, oh, this is
like totally awesome. I'm like so...

So inside it, in fact, that the doctor
thinks the girl's got a fever.

She's running a temperature.

But there's a cure for this girl that
I'm going to give her, and it's going to

be my famous meat injection with lots of
protein.

So we're going to have for you tonight
an hour of commercial -free music.

what I said. That's right, an hour of
commercial -free music where I test out

Tasty's Fantasy Girl. Woo -hoo!

Yeah!

And that's all for them folks out there.
Not for you, girl.

Totally awesome.

Oh, yeah.

You know, Tasty's ought to have a
contest a little more often. Shouldn't

darling?

Oh,

yeah.

It's just what the doctor ordered.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Dr.

Pimentel, you want to see something,
like, totally awesome?

Yeah, why not?

Where'd my dick go, girl?

You swallowed that thing all the way
down.

Really awesome.

The way you suck on my longboard.

Just think I get my fantasy cured and
yours too.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's perfect. Just like that.

Oh, yeah.

All the way down.

That thing disappeared.

But it's a little bit...

Mom, the doctor can't eat that while
you're giggling like that. Put that

still.

You know, you know what, Dr.

Pimento? I got a totally awesome idea.

Oh, oh, yes. Oh, God, this is, like,
totally awesome.

I can't wait to tell the girls back at
the Galleria that they're not going to

believe me.

Totally awesome. I can't even believe
it.

Those other DJs can see me now.

Down there, girl.

Oh, like the girls can just like see me
out there.

Do it doggy style?

Oh, get at it.

Oh,

God,

this is like totally awesome.

You know, everybody wants to be the
doctor, but nobody feels like she's

than me, huh, babe?

I'm going to come, baby. I'm going to...
The doctor's going to come for you, and

I'm going to give you a protein shot.

Yes.

Oh, I thought you said you had, oh, like
some protein...

Oh, no.

Babe, just like that.

Yeah.

Right. Right.

personal advice.

Totally good for the complexion.

That's right.

Well, here's to a new career.

What do you mean?

Well, I figure after today, that's it as
far as career and radio is concerned.

Well, it was fun while it lasted,
though.

Yeah. You've always really wanted to do
something crazy like that. What are you

going to do now?

I thought I'd get those videos together
for tomorrow night's simulcast.

Well, if there's anything at all like
your radio ideas, I've got to be great.

I hope so. Show me then.

Okay.

Well, you're a real...

Well, there's only one thing I got to
say about that.

What's that?

With a face like yours, you've got no
business behind a microphone.

You ought to be in pictures.

Or television.

You know what I've always wanted to do?

What's that?

Make love to you.

Oh, I'm kind of glad you brought that
up. Why?

I've always wanted to make love to you,
too.

Oh.

I need you to look for a job.

What do you mean that he doesn't know
it?

Well, yesterday he was so upset he
didn't even listen to the broadcast.

So he doesn't know.

I don't think so.

By God, by now he ought to have known
it. I mean, his phone ought to have been

off the hook all night.

He knows.

What the fuck has been going on
yesterday?

When I say try something, I meant within
the FCC's rules.

I've been wanting to say this for a
very, very long time.

You're all...

Fired!

Gary, Gary, you son of a bitch.

Came from the golf course with this. You
know what this is?

Judge, why don't we step into my office?

What I have to say goes for everyone.

The rating.

Gary, you're number one.

What? You were the hottest radio station
in the market yesterday.

All right!

Hey, you know, I got some sexually
oriented clients.

You know, like, uh... The L. West, Joe
Lars, Mitchell Brothers, the Lansing

Cinema Theater.

Think you can handle those for me? Yeah,
we can handle them at our station.

Gary, that's what I like, a man with
balls.

And I always thought you were a panty
-waist.

Hey, everybody, back to work. We have a
station to run.

I thought we were fired.

Oh, that.

I was only kidding.

You know what I always say?

Joke them if they can't take a fuck.

Let's go play golf, Gary. All right.

Yeah! All right!

Oh,

I can't believe it. It's great.

And we all lived happily ever after.