Original subtitles

OH!

OH GREAT, ANOTHER BLENDER.

WE CAN MAKE HUMMUS FOR THE ENTIRE NATION-STATE.

SOMEHOW I THOUGHT WHEN YOU WERE KING

WE'D BE HAVING A LITTLE MORE FUN AND A LITTLE LESS HEAVY LIFTING.

HEY CAN WE... CAN WE PUT THIS DOWN?

I THINK I'M GONNA BREAK SOMETHING I MIGHT NEED.

TO BE CROWNED KING OF CORINTH

AND THEN GET ALL THIS STUFF,

WHERE DO I SIGN UP?

OH, NICE LIKENESS, JASON.

NOW THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I WILL REMEMBER YOU.

I'VE JUST RECEIVED WORD A SPECIAL TRIBUTE

FROM CADMUS HAS ARRIVED.

WHAT'S CADMUS?

KING CADMUS OF AGEA.

HE'S THIS CRANKY OLD GUY MY FATHER USED TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS

TO KEEP PEACE WITH HIM.

WE'LL GO GET IT, BUT NEXT TIME,

WE START CHARGING BY THE MILE.

LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU.

COME ON, LET'S GO.

OH, MAN,

I DON'T KNOW, YOU THINK THIS LOOKS LIKE ME?

Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=-

I AM LADY YETA

AND THIS IS PRINCESS DIDO.

I AM IOLAUS. CHARMED, I'M SURE.

HERCULES, NICE TO MEET YOU.

OH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP A PACKAGE

FOR JASON FROM KING CADMUS?

PRINCESS DIDO.

OH YES HI, WE'VE MET.

THE KING HAS SENT HIS DAUGHTER TO MARRY YOUR JASON

TO BE HIS QUEEN.

I AM NOT GONNA MARRY HER.

YOU DON'T WANT TO MARRY PRINCESS DIDO?

I AM NOT GONNA MARRY HER.

WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE GOING TO BE KING, YOU DON'T WANT

TO RESTRICT YOURSELF TO ONE PERSON.

OW.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHAT KIND OF A PERSON

THINKS ANOTHER PERSON MAKES A GOOD STOCKING STUFFER?

YEAH BUT WHAT A STOCKING STUFFER.

IOLAUS.

IT'S THAT OLD TRADITION, YOU KNOW,

PRINCESS MARRIES ELIGIBLE KING OR IN YOUR CASE,

SOON TO BE KING.

I AM NOT GONNA MARRY HER.

SO IT'S WAR WITH CADMUS.

MINDLESS, POINTLESS, MEANINGLESS WAR,

COMPLETE WITH BODY COUNT.

HEY WHAT IF YOU GOT SICK?

I'M NOT GONNA MARRY HER.

TELL HER DAD YOUR FACE GOT WARPED, HUH?

THINK OF THE GRANDCHILDREN.

TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE, THAT'S IT, YOU'RE IN LOVE.

NO, NO, YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED,

YOU ARE MARRIED.

I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NOT GETTING MARRIED, BABY.

YOU ARE MARRIED, YOU ARE MARRIED, RIGHT?

AND IF YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED.

YOU CAN'T GET MARRIED.

OPHISTUS?

WELL I SUPPOSE WE COULD

THROW SOMETHING TOGETHER LAST-MINUTE.

NO, THERE'S NO TIME.

CADMUS IS ON HIS WAY HERE WITH A SQUAD OF TROOPS,

HE'LL BE HERE IN A MATTER OF HOURS.

TALK ABOUT A SWORD-POINT WEDDING.

OKAY. WE NEED TO NOT PANIC

AND WE NEED TO FIND A BRIDE.

YES, WHAT ABOUT THAT RED-HAIRED BARD GIRL?

SHE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD SPORT.

NO, NO, NO, WE NEED SOMEONE NOW.

WE NEED SOMEONE WE CAN TRUST, WE NEED A...

QUEEN FOR A DAY.

YES, YES, BUT NO, NO.

HELLO, LILITH.

HELLO, PRINCESS LILITH.

PRINCESS.

IN AN AGE OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS,

ZEUS, KING OF THE GODS,

RULED THE UNIVERSE.

HE HAD A SON,

YOUNG HERCULES.

HALF-GOD, HALF-MAN,

YOUNG HERCULES LONGS

TO FIND HIS PLACE IN THE WORLD,

THE FATHER HE'S NEVER KNOWN

AND WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A HERO.

BEFORE THE MAN BECAME LEGEND,

BEFORE THE LEGEND BECAME MYTH,

CAME THE GREATEST ADVENTURE OF ALL.

AND OF COURSE WE HAVE THE ROYAL BARN,

COMPLETE WITH STRAW.

IT'S ALL VERY IMPRESSIVE.

OH IT'S ENDLESS.

WHEN WILL PRINCE JASON BE JOINING US?

WE'RE JUST SO LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING HIM

BEFORE THE WEDDING.

OH.

WHAT'S NEXT?

HOW ABOUT THE ROYAL PIGSTIES?

JASON WANTS YOU GUYS TO FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.

WELL, I MEAN, HE WANTS YOU TO FEEL WELCOME

ANYWHERE, EVERYWHERE,

ANYTIME. WHOA.

AFTER YOU AND YOU.

TAKE YOUR TIME.

FORGIVE ME, DIDO.

SWEET DIDO.

OW!

HERE, PULL THIS DOWN.

OH NO, NO, NO. YEAH, YEAH SHE'S GOOD.

SHOULDERS BACK.

OKAY?

AGAIN.

UGH!

PERHAPS JUST A LITTLE VIGOROUS.

THINK WRIST,

WRIST.

SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN,

YOU'RE NOT STOKING A CAMPFIRE.

YES, YES,

I THINK SHE'S GOT IT.

- LET GO. - HEY, LOOK...

THIS IS NEVER GONNA WORK.

NOBODY'S GONNA BELIEVE SHE'S A PRINCESS.

NO OFFENSE, LILITH, THANKS FOR TRYING.

PRINCE JASON, WAIT, PLEASE.

YEAH,

YEAH, YOU JUST NEED MORE PRACTICE, THAT'S ALL.

WE'RE GONNA GO STALL KING CADMUS AND BUY US MORE TIME.

- LET'S GO STALL HIM.

HYAH!

YOU MUST BE PRINCESS DIDO.

HOW DID YOU FIND YOUR WAY IN HERE?

WELL AFTER IOLAUS LEFT,

LADY YETA AND I MANAGED TO PICK OUR WAY

THROUGH THE PIGSTY,

I SAW A BACK HALLWAY AND JUST.

SO YOU BACKED OUT.

IT'S JUST THAT WITH FATHER COMING AND...

THE WEDDING.

SO YOU DON'T WANT TO MARRY JASON?

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

WELL YOU WEREN'T CRYING IN THAT HAPPY KIND OF WAY.

I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY BUT

NO ONE'S SUPPOSED TO KNOW,

EVEN FATHER DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT US.

WELL WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM?

HE'D NEVER ALLOW IT,

I'M A PRINCESS,

ANTOS IS A COMMONER.

WORSE, HE'S A BALLADEER.

FATHER HAS VERY STRICT RULES

ABOUT THAT SORT OF THING.

OH BUT NOT ABOUT PASSING HIS DAUGHTER OFF

AS SOME CASTLE-WARMING PRESENT.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M LILITH,

JASON'S WIFE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WAIT, I DO UNDERSTAND.

JASON DOESN'T WANT TO BE MARRIED EITHER.

NOTHING PERSONAL.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE I GET TO BE THE QUEEN FOR A DAY.

MAY I HELP?

HERCULES, I DO NOT FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS.

- IOLAUS. - YES?

YOU'LL DO FINE,

NOW JUST STALL THESE GUYS AS LONG AS YOU CAN.

I'M GONNA GO GET JASON.

SURE HOPE KING CADMUS AND HIS ARMY BUY THIS.

HEY, BOYS, WHILE YOU'RE IN CORINTH, TRY CHICKEN IN A SILEX.

A COMPLETE CHICKEN DINNER FOR ONLY TWO DINARS.

THAT'S RIGHT, TWO DINARS

AND I MEAN COMPLETE.

HEY I GOT A FEW YOLKS FOR YOU BOYS, GET IT?

YEAH, YOLKS.

YOU'RE LAYING AN EGG, PALLY.

AND NOW IT'S ON YOUR FACE.

SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW

WHY I CROSSED THAT ROAD.

PRINCESS, SORRY I COULDN'T MEET WITH YOU SOONER,

THIS WHOLE CORONATION THING'S BEEN A BIT OVERWHELMING.

MADE WORSE BY PREPARING FOR A WIFE

YOU NEVER CHOSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

LILITH TOLD ME ABOUT HOW

YOU DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO MARRY ME.

YOU'LL NOT HAVE HER,

OLD HOLLOW-HEARTED KNAVE.

WHAT?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

ANTOS, MY DARLING,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- WHO ARE YOU? - A KING'S SON

YOU MAY HAVE BEEN BORN, BUT GREATER THAN KING'S HAND

MUST BE THE HAND TO WIN MY MAID.

HUH?

WHO IS THIS GUY?

DAD'S BALLADEER.

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN HAVE HER?

I'M GETTING TIRED OF BEING REFERRED TO LIKE...

- LIKE A... LIKE... - A BLENDER?

EXACTLY, LIKE A BLENDER.

HEY, GUYS.

ANOTHER MINION FOR PASSION'S DIMINUTION?

WHAT? NO, NO, ENGLISH.

OH. I THINK IF WE COULD JUST TALK ABOUT THIS.

MY BLADE SHALL SPEAK FOR ME.

WHO'S THIS GUY?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

KING CADMUS,

YOUR DAD.

HE'S HERE.

NO NEED TO ANNOUNCE ME,

I FOUGHT YOUR KING'S FATHER,

ALMOST BEAT HIM ONCE, TOO.

CADMUS. GOOD TO SEE YOU,

FATHER SPOKE HIGHLY OF YOU ALTHOUGH I DON'T REMEMBER YOU TWO FIGHTING.

SOME WARS ARE FOUGHT ON THE BATTLEFIELD,

SOME IN THRONE ROOMS.

YOU'LL LEARN.

HOW'S MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS?

FATHER.

SIR, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, OF ALL THE CORONATION PRESENTS,

YOU ORDERING YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY ME IS... IS DEFINITELY

A SENTIMENTAL FAVORITE AND IT'S...

AND IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN A GOAT.

BUT YOU'RE TOO LATE, I'M...

I'M ALREADY MARRIED.

YOU THINK YOURSELF BRAVE?

UNHAND ME, YOU KNAVE.

OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL,

JASON DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO MARRY HER.

LIAR. WHO WOULD NOT

WANT TO WED THE FAIR AND FAIREST DIDO?

I'M SURE SHE'S REAL SWELL AND EVERYTHING, OKAY?

BUT JASON'S SPOKEN FOR.

WELL, THEN MY RESOLVE SHALL BE TWICE-DOUBLED

FOR HAVING BEEN ONCE DELAYED.

I SHALL PROCLAIM MYSELF TO CADMUS ERE DAY'S END,

TO CUPID'S PLEA WILL HIS EARS BEND.

OKAY, THE COUPLETS,

THEY GOTTA GO.

UNHAND ME, YOU FIEND.

YOU, MARRIED?

TO WHOM?

A CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART, MY LORD

FROM ANOTHER LAND.

FROM... FROM FAR, FAR AWAY.

AND PRAY TELL ME,

WHERE IS THIS FAIRY TALE PRINCESS?

- WELL, SHE'S SLEEPING. - TURNED HER ANKLE.

DON'T TOY WITH ME, BOYS.

I HAD A DEVIL OF A TIME GETTING HERE.

SHOW ME YOUR BLUSHING BRIDE.

I'LL'ST DRESS FOR A WEDDING

OR A WAR.

IT APPEARS THAT THE PRINCESS WILL BE

UNABLE TO JOIN US THIS EVENING,

YOU SEE, SHE'S RESTING.

UNFORTUNATELY, SHE'S TURNED HER ANKLE...

RIDING.

I'M AFRAID I HAD RATHER

A FOOLISH ACCIDENT,

KING CADMUS.

PRINCESS.

WE GET THROUGH DINNER, THEN WE GET CADMUS OUT OF HERE, OKAY?

- WHERE'S ANTOS? - JUGGED. EAT FAST.

JUGGED?

WHY, THANK YOU.

HEY, FISH AND FETA POPOVERS.

I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU HAD ALL YOUR FAVORITE FOODS.

MY BELOVED WIFE, THE LATE QUEEN,

USED TO EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

OH!

WHAT?

HEY IOLAUS, YOU SILLY BOY,

LOOK AT THAT, IT'S ALL OVER YOU.

IOLAUS ALWAYS LIGHTENS THE MOOD AROUND HERE,

HE'S MESSY BUT HE'S FUNNY,

WELL THAT'S PART OF HIS CHARM.

PORK?

YOUR FRIEND'S A BIT COMMON, DON'T YOU THINK?

EVEN FOR A COMMONER.

OH IF YOU ONLY KNEW.

OH, CAREFUL DEAR.

OH, YOU PROBABLY THINK I'M BEING TERRIBLY OVERPROTECTIVE,

IT'S JUST THAT MY HUSBAND HURT HIS SHOULDER RECENTLY.

NO NOT AT ALL,

A LOVING WIFE SHOULD LOOK AFTER HER HUSBAND

AND IT SEEMS SHE IS A LOVING WIFE.

YOU HONOR ME, SIR.

WHOA.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU, MESSY BUT FUNNY,

I COULD WATCH HIM ALL NIGHT.

MESSY FOOD ON YOUR LAP THERE.

OKAY, NOW I HAVE TO ASK, WHO...

CLAM UP, PESTLE-HEAD!

SORRY, SHE... SHE WAS RAISED AROUND

A LOT OF IMMATURE BROTHERS.

FORGIVE ME, I HAVE NOT YET GROWN

INTO THE PROPER ROLE OF WIFE AND QUEEN.

AND BESIDES, HE REALLY IS A PESTLE-HEAD.

MY WIFE'S GREAT, ISN'T SHE?

OH, SHE'S LOVELY.

YOU'D ALMOST BELIEVE SHE WAS A REAL PRINCESS.

MY DAUGHTER WOULD'VE MADE HIM A FINE WIFE.

YEAH, BUT THE ONE HE'S GOT

IS NOT TOO SHABBY, EITHER.

QUITE RIGHT. FORGIVE ME, MADAME.

IT'S CLEAR YOU WERE MEANT FOR YOUR JASON.

WHOA! WHOA!

MAD BE SUCH DIVINE MADNESS.

- WHAT? - ANTOS,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MY DESTINY IS LED BY AN ACHING HEART.

HYAH!

THIS IS NO PRINCESS.

I'M A KING, BOY.

I'VE BURIED PRINCES OLDER THAN YOU.

I... I TRIED TO AVOID THIS SITUATION.

YOU REFUSE MY DAUGHTER

AND HAND ME SOME FAKE MARRIAGE

TO THIS... THIS...

THIS SHE-WARRIOR.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M NO PRINCESS AND NO BRIDE,

BUT I AM BOUND TO JASON

AS IF HE WERE MY BROTHER.

SHALL I MAKE HIM YOUR BLOOD BROTHER?

WHOA, NOW THERE'S NO NEED FOR THAT.

I'M NOT GONNA MARRY SOMEONE I DON'T LOVE

AND YOUR DAUGHTER SHOULDN'T EITHER.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, YOUR HIGHNESS,

I REMEMBER THAT YOU SAID AT DINNER

THAT A WIFE SHOULD LOVE HER HUSBAND

JUST LIKE YOUR WIFE LOVED YOU.

FATHER...

I WANT TO MARRY ANTOS.

WE'RE IN LOVE.

SILENCE!

IT'S ONE THING NOT TO MARRY JASON.

IT'S ANOTHER TO MARRY A COMMONER.

QUIET, YOU OLD FOOL.

MY SISTER WAS THE LATE QUEEN

AND YOU LOVED HER, DIDN'T YOU CADMUS?

AND SHE LOVED YOU,

SHE LOVED YOU, MARRIED YOU

AND MADE YOU KING.

HOLD ON A SECOND,

YOU WEREN'T EVEN A PRINCE?

PRINCE? HE WAS A CORPORAL.

CUTE AS THE DICKENS THOUGH.

BUT THAT WAS MY SISTER FOR YOU,

SHE DIDN'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THOUGHT.

THAT MAY BE,

BUT THIS ONE ISN'T EVEN A WARRIOR.

HE'S A... A BALLADEER,

FOR ZEUS' SAKE.

AND HE OVERACTS AT THAT.

BY A THING'S MEASURE FELT MUST IT BE DONE.

SEE?

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

OH, DADDY, DON'T YOU SEE?

HE MAKES ME LAUGH.

YOU LOVE HIM.

ABSOLUTELY.

WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE

THERE'LL BE A WEDDING AFTER ALL.

WELL, YOUR HIGHNESS, YOU DO UNDERSTAND

WHY LILITH AND I DID WHAT WE DID, DON'T YOU?

OF COURSE, YOU WERE BOTH HELPING JASON.

YOU MUST NEVER DENY A KING ANYTHING.

ALL RIGHT.

IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE

AND AN HONOR TO MEET YOU, YOUNG LADY.

OH.

HEY.

- FOR YOU. - OH.

A FAR SIMPLER TRIBUTE,

PERHAPS YOU CAN USE THIS ONE.

WELL, THANK YOU, SIR.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO BECOME A KING, SON.

KINGS DON'T CALL OTHER KINGS "SIR."

OH, WELL THANK YOU, KING.

YOU'LL LEARN.

ALL FORTUNES FAVORED TO YOU, MY FRIENDS.

FOR THOU HAST GIVEN ME MY GOOD FORTUNE.

- WHATEVER. - YEAH,

- WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT? - LILITH.

I'M COMING.

BYE.

OH, NICE CATCH, YOUR HIGHNESS.

HEY HOW DO YOU THINK LILITH'S GONNA DO

AT THE ACADEMY NOW THAT SHE'S BEEN A PRINCESS?

I DON'T THINK CHEIRON'S GONNA LET HER BACK IN.

I DON'T KNOW.

I THINK MAYBE THE ACADEMY COULD USE A PRINCESS OR TWO.

WHOA, WHOA.

OKAY, OKAY.

I HAVE TO ADMIT, SHE HAD ME GOING FOR AWHILE.

ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT MY FAVORITE FOOD AND EVERYTHING.

I NEVER THOUGHT OF LILITH THAT WAY.

OH, SWEET MYSTERY, THY NAME ISITH LILITH.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

NOW ALL YOU NEED'S THAT GOOFY HAT.

OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.

ANOTHER BLENDER.

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