Original subtitles

Damn that guy.

Take away all my magic for eating one stupid slice of one stupid tart.

Like, the pettiness of it all is just psychotic.

Is that so?

Would you care to elaborate?

Housewarden.

If you would like to register a complaint, I'm all ears.

Oh! Hey there, Riddle! He said that your prettiness is iconic!

Cater, if you don't wish to lose your tongue as well as your head,

you would do well to stop your blabbering.

We wouldn't want that. My bad.

Pardoned already for nearly destroying the Queen's statue.

Our headmage is far too lenient.

It is truly a baffling decision.

Why lead our academy down a path of such destruction?

Infractions of this order must be punished.

Violators should have their heads taken without question.

I hate hearing such freaky stuff outta that baby face.

I beg your pardon?

Uh…

Can I help you?

I considered removing this collar if you showed any remorse whatsoever.

But unfortunately,

that doesn't appear to be the case.

-So I'm afraid I must leave it for now. -What?

You can't cause a ruckus like you did yesterday

if you can't use magic, can you?

Oh, you needn't worry.

Most of the first year curriculum is lectures rather than practical magic.

Now, that's enough chitchat.

Stop wasting time and go prepare for your next class.

As Queen of Hearts Rule 271 clearly states,

"One shall leave the table within 15 minutes of completing their lunch."

You wouldn't disregard the rules, would you, now?

Power-tripping pretty boy.

I want a "Yes, house warden."

Yes, house warden!

That wasn't hard.

It'll be fine. I'll be here to keep an eye on them.

Trey, don't make this into a habit.

You've been far too lenient with the first-year students.

You're the vice house warden.

You would do well to act like it.

Now then, I'm afraid I must excuse myself to the school store

in accordance with Queen of Hearts Rule Number 339:

"Should one partake in a post-meal beverage,

it shall be lemon tea with two sugar cubes."

I've let two minutes slip away already.

Be sure you all excuse yourselves within the next 13.

What's his problem?

Honestly. To run entirely out of sugar cubes so soon? Insufferable.

So, how do you like the new flavor?

It's great. I love milk tea after a meal.

-Our afternoon classes are so boring. -Yeah, but let's go.

No way, we got time. We can hang till the last minute.

What do they all think this academy and its House rules are even for?

What's our next class?

Trey and the headmage are both far too tolerant.

So I shall have to take matters into my own hands.

There will be no further infractions.

A MEALTIME CHAT

That was scary.

That kid's got a real nasty attitude.

Hey. Don't be rude.

Did the house warden leave?

I just realized I was breaking Queen of Hearts Rule 186:

"One shall never eat hamburger on a Tuesday."

I was terrified he would see me.

I wish he could at least eat what we wanted to.

Tell me about it. I agree with that guy.

The rules shouldn't be more important than the students' well-being.

He's only doing his duty as the house warden.

Riddle was assigned his position less than a week after entering the academy.

He's very strict and he may speak harshly,

but it's out of a desire to make things better for the House.

He's not a bad guy.

But a good guy wouldn't go around

slapping collars on people all willy-nilly-like.

No, but in your case, I think it was justifiable.

Say what? How dare my lackey talk back to me?

Guess I better go get that tart slice.

Actually, you should know that Riddle has this kooky thing

about always wanting to cut the very first piece of a whole cake.

So he's not gonna forgive you if you only bring him a slice.

Seriously? I'm a broke college kid, I can't buy a whole one.

You could make him one!

That's what Trey did. The strawberry ones were from scratch.

Trey did that? Like, with his hands? Those look like they were made by a pro.

Thanks.

Well, hey, buddy!

Would you mind if I use your baking stuff?

And, uh, if you could also teach me how to use it, that'd be cool too.

It'll be fun.

Making something would definitely be cheaper than buying it.

I can help if you need someone in charge of taste-testing.

Well, I was planning on making another tart anyway.

Really?

Uh-huh. But my services aren't available for free, you know.

What?

You're gonna make me pay?

Don't worry. I won't take money from my juniors.

Riddle said he's been craving a chestnut tart,

so lets make him one.

You could help by collecting the chestnuts.

That sounds equally annoying.

But, sure. So how many are you trying to get?

Let me think…

Taking the unbirthday party into consideration…

Hmm. Maybe 200 or 300.

Huh?

Oh, that's a lot.

I'll also need your help peeling, cooking and pureeing them.

I think that's a perfectly fair trade.

Okay. So, where do they keep the chestnut trees?

Maybe we should split up to look. Do you guys wanna cover the back half?

Got it.

I've never seen any of these plants before.

Hey, Minion! Come take a look at this! There's a bunch of fruit over here!

Oh, they smell amazing!

Having a little sample couldn't hurt…

That's exactly what Ace got in trouble for.

We're only here to look for chestnuts, okay?

Stingy sourpuss.

Come on. We haven't checked this section yet.

Maybe we'll find them in here.

-Ouch. -Hmm?

-Did you say something? -No. It wasn't me.

-Hey. -Hmm?

You've got some guts,

walking away from me like nothing happened.

I was having myself a nice little cat nap back there

until some idiot stomped on my tail.

And now I'm pissed.

Yikers, this guy looks like trouble.

I wasn't looking. I'm sorry.

Aren't you…

Right. You're that herbivore from orientation who can't use magic.

Hmm.

Wow.

You weren't joking. I really don't smell any magic.

I try not to make a habit of preying on the defenseless,

so, generally, you'd be safe,

but I can't stand idly by after you've stepped on my tail.

Wouldn't you agree?

Hey, Yu? Let's go. This guy is making all my fur stand on end.

Well, it was an accident. Forgive me.

You don't get it. I don't play nice.

And being forced to wake up from such a good nap

has put me in a pretty bad mood.

Perhaps in exchange, I'll take a tooth.

Leona.

Huh?

Hey. Knew I'd find you here. You gotta quit skipping your classes.

Like, you're already repeating a year.

If you get held back again, we'll be in the same grade. You don't want that.

Must you be such a nag, Ruggie?

This isn't my favorite thing either, you know.

Hmm? Ah.

He gets a little violent when he wakes up, so maybe keep your distance.

Now come on. Let's go.

-Go! Move your tail. -Fine, whatever.

Oh, and the next time you herbivores want to enter my territory,

you better be prepared.

Well, that was nerve-wracking.

He really is just like a human lion.

-Hey, guys. -Huh?

We found where the chestnuts are.

Oh, right. I totally forgot what we were supposed to be doing here.

Yeah. Let's go grab 'em.

Wow!

That's a really nice haul, gentlemen.

With this many chestnuts, you can make a humongous tart.

Well, getting these things prepped is also going to be a group effort.

You ready?

Okay. Cool.

Welcome to Chestnut Tarts 101. We'll begin with the paste.

Step one. Boil the chestnuts.

Step two. Let them cool slightly, and then begin peeling.

Step three.

Add the peeled chestnuts, milk and sugar into a pot and boil down the mixture.

That smells so dang good.

Step four. Press the boiled mixture through a sieve.

After this, we can add the butter.

And finally, our secret ingredient is a little oyster sauce.

Sorry. Oyster sauce?

Here. I use the Walrus-brand Young Oyster Sauce.

The umami of the oysters complements the chestnut paste for depth of flavor.

All the great pâtissiers use this.

Is this not gonna make the saltiest tart?

Possibly, but people put chocolate in their curry, right? So maybe it'll work?

I was joking. I'd never put that in a tart.

Not cool! We believed you!

You'd have realized how dumb it was if you just thought about it.

That was a real dirty trick outta someone who acts like such a nice guy!

Yeah. Sorry.

Now we'll add the fresh cream and…

I guess I didn't realize how much chestnut paste we made.

I don't think I have enough cream for this.

I can go get some more. Do they have it at the school store?

Yeah. And, actually, as long as you're going,

would you mind grabbing me a few other things too?

Okay.

Uh, I need four cartons of milk, four cartons of eggs, some aluminum tins,

maybe five cans of fruit cocktail, and three jars of jam, please.

I don't think I can carry all that by myself.

-I can come with you. -You gotta take me with you too.

The great Grim should not be made to mix flour.

Uh, hello?

Nobody's here. Taking a break maybe?

Uh, are we even sure we came to the right place?

You know, it's honestly kind of hard to say.

Hey!

Welcome, one and all, to Mr. Sam's Mystery Shop.

And what might I be able to help you with today, my little imps?

Charms and curses? Mummified remains?

Or how about a deck of tarot cards for ya?

Everything you could want is in stock now!

I guess he runs the place.

Did he say "mummified remains"?

-Uh… -Hmm?

We just need a hand with the things on our list.

Ooh. Looks like we're trying to indulge a little sweet tooth today.

Shabam! In stock now!

That was crazy fast.

Now can I interest you in a flying saucer

to help you carry all this heavy load back home?

This precious little mini size right here

is a steal at a whopping 30% off today only.

Yeah, give it! It looks so fun...

No, thanks. We're good.

I thought that was a really interesting shop.

Yeah, I wanted to stay and look around in there some more.

You sure the cans aren't too heavy for you? Wanna trade?

No, I'm all right. I've had a lot of practice with heavy shopping bags.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

My mother always stocks up whenever there's a sale on,

so we wind up with super-full bags.

And I'm the only man in my family,

so, naturally, I do all the heavy lifting for her.

Sorry, I don't mean to over share.

It's okay. You really love your mom.

-I mean… Yeah, but not like… -Hey, wait up.

-I just wanna make sure she gets... -Fat chance.

No, the eggs.

Hey, watch where you're going, kid. That really hurt, you know.

I'm pretty sure you're the one who ran into me, actually.

What's that? You're saying this is all my fault?

I am. Please pay us back for the eggs. And apologize to the chicken that made them.

Buddy, why you getting all uppity? They're just eggs.

What?

Look. They ain't touched the ground, you can eat 'em.

I just saved you the trouble of cracking 'em yourself.

Don't you dare laugh about something like this!

Oh, boy. He flipped the switch again.

It's not up to you to decide the value of those eggs, you little brat.

They were going to get baked into a delicious tart

instead of becoming chicks. Does that mean nothing to you?

So if you're not gonna pay us back for 'em

then I'll just have to take it out in punches.

Who do you think you're talking to?

-You wanna go, then let's go! -Not good.

Yeah? Careful what you wish for!

By the time I'm done with you, you'll never even wanna look at another egg.

Deuce, cut it out! Do you want to get expelled?

-Hey, let's beat it! -Sorry, Mrs. Chicken!

Crap.

No, not again.

I swore that I wouldn't…

I swore that I was gonna be an honor student this time.

Wait. This time?

I was pretty wild kid in middle school.

I hung out with a bad crowd, bleached my hair.

We skipped class most of the time.

I talked back to my teachers and called them names.

And I started a lot of fights.

Got into some back-alley brawl every other day.

And when I wasn't doing that,

I'd go racing down mountain roads on my Magic Wheel.

I showed off my magic to guys who couldn't even use it.

Stuff like that. I was a total punk.

But one night, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my grandma.

She was crying, asking where she went wrong in raising me.

Or if it was wrong of her to try and raise me on her own.

But she didn't do anything wrong.

It wasn't her fault. It was all me.

So when I got into this school, she was so thrilled.

For me. For us.

I swore on that day that I'd never make her cry again.

I'd be an honor student she could be proud of.

And yet… Darn it!

Yeah, okay, but being an honor student doesn't mean holding everything in.

Huh?

You're not a bad guy for having a reaction.

Even I wanted to punch those guys a few more times.

Okay. It may have been them who started it this time, but fighting's still wrong.

Sorry…

…you already knew that, didn't you?

That getting into fights won't solve your problems.

Everyone experiences setbacks, Deuce. It doesn't mean you're a failure.

Not when you can channel the regret you feel right now

into motivation for the future. Just take it one step at a time.

Okay? Don't give up.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I just hope the chicks will be able to rest in peace.

-And, uh… -Huh?

Those eggs weren't fertilized.

-They were never gonna hatch. -Huh?

I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant.

Then let's get going.

Huh?

You've got to be kidding me!

And now to finish it off, we'll pop some Marron glacé right here on top.

And all finished.

All finished.

What have I believed all 16 years of my life?

Hey, like, is he okay? Did something happen to him?

-Sort of. Fowl experience. -Chicken.

Hey, gang. Everyone working hard?

Matter of fact, we've just finished.

Wow. That looks good. Let me get a snap for Magicam.

And here we are.

Time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. These are for you.

Delish. Thank you for the treat.

Splitting the spoils without doing the work, you planned this.

Hmm?

Mmm. Mmm.

Wow. This is great.

Okay!

This tastes like it came from a high-end bakery.

It's so good.

-Mmm. -I'm gonna move in with Trey's family.

This is super yummy.

Oh, hey, Trey.

-Show 'em the thing. -What thing?

Oh, of course.

Okay. Everyone tell me your favorite food.

Cherry pie and burgers.

I think canned tuna is my favorite.

But I also like cheese omelets. Oh, and grilled meats. And pudding.

If I have to pick one, I guess omelet rice.

I think I'll go with grilled lamb with diablo sauce today.

I like grilled fish with rice and soup.

Got it. Ready and…

Paint the Roses.

Now take another bite and tell me what you think.

It tastes exactly like cherry pie.

Mine tastes like canned tuna.

Mom's omelet rice.

It really does taste like grilled fish.

And that would be Trey's signature spell.

I keep telling him he could really charm the ladies if he used it during tea time.

Magic that can change something's flavor. Amazing.

Well, sort of. Technically, it overwrites characteristics.

I can also do color and scent.

It isn't permanent though, so it'll wear off on its own over time.

That's why I named it that way.

It's like I'm "painting over" the real thing.

A never-ending canned tuna buffet isn't just a dream anymore.

Your cool spell is way better than anything that annoying Riddle can do.

No, this is child's play compared to him.

He's on a totally different level. I can't touch him.

That was so good.

All right, let's go back to our dorms.

Tomorrow is the unbirthday party, so don't be late.

Time for me to get this dumb collar off once and for all.

Just you wait, house warden.

Hey, so, Yu, I still can't go home, so, uh, can I crash with you again?

Don't take advantage, Ace.

You know you're being an imposition.

Yeah. That's right.

If you're staying over again, then pay the fee. Ten cans of tuna.

No! I don't wanna sleep on the streets!

You can stay over. I promise it's fine.

It's kinda cute

that all the first-years ended up having a little sleepover, isn't it?

Well, Deuce is only there to police Ace.

-Think they need a senior chaperone? -You're not going, no.

Oh, boo.

Trey. Cater.

Hey, guys. What happened?

Trey, please, you have to help.

We were drinking lemonade with honey when the house warden walked in.

And the next thing we knew…

He took your heads for breaking the rules.

256, I believe.

It's pretty clear, "There will be no drinking

of honey-sweetened lemonade after 8:00 p.m."

We didn't know. I swear.

We're not even allowed to eat and drink what we want.

How are we supposed to remember all these stupid rules?

Riddle's taking all of this way too far.

Please. Help us!

It's too much. I don't think I can live like this any longer.

I want to transfer to another House.

Hey, it'll be okay. I'll go talk to the house warden right now.

You guys should go back to your rooms.

Fine. I'll go make the Queen a cup of tea, then.

Maybe it will lift Her Highness's mood.

Great. Thanks, Cater.

Oh, and make sure it's herbal tea and not black.

You know what Rule 153 says. We can only drink certain teas after dark.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

I am truly baffled by the audacity of these fools.

What do they take the rules for?

So anyway, I'll be crashing here again for another night.

No problem. You too, Deuce?

Yeah, but only because I don't trust him

to behave himself if I leave him here alone.

You can say that again.

Like you're one to talk.

We need to get up bright and early for the unbirthday party tomorrow,

so let's get to sleep.

-Sounds good. Ni... -I'm not goin' to bed at grandma hour.

-Uh… -You don't listen to anyone, do you?

The unbirthday party is tomorrow,

and we have to be there for it on time if you want that collar removed!

Just go to bed.

Nah, the night is young. Let's have a little fun.

Oh. Well, when you put it that way, yeah, I'm in.

-Forgetting someone? -Huh?

It's those ghosts!

Death is so boring.

-We can play too, right? -Okay. Fine.

Uh…

Well, I hope you have something in mind?

Sure do.

Hey. You're supposed to keep a poker face.

Hmm.

Lady Luck is on my side.

Kinda early to celebrate, game's not over yet.

Exactly.

Ah. Guess I win.

I wanted to be the first one to win this stupid game.

What's the matter?

-Nothing. Shut up. -If you say so.

-Hurry and take one already. -Don't rush me.

It's do or die.

Yes! I win!

No, I don't wanna be in last place.

All right, it's you and me.

Ah, no!

This will literally never end.

Maybe we should put a pin in this for the night.

Not a chance!