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INSPECTOR: I was hot on the trail
of Louie Le'Swipe,
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the international jewel thief.
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I had pursued him all over the continent.
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From one European capital to another.
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And at last, in London,
I finally closed in on him.
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(GUN CLICKING)
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Now I've got him.
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Begging your pardon, governor.
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But I believe the captain
would like a word with you.
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INSPECTOR: Later, at Scotland Yard,
I established my identity
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as a French police officer.
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We'll be delighted to assist you
in apprehending this jewel thief, Inspector.
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But I say, old boy, do put away that gun.
We police don't use them here in England.
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It's against the law and all that, you know.
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Look, there's Louie.
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Bring back those jewels, you blackguard.
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(GUN FIRING)
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Why, that swine. Take this!
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No shooting, old boy.
Do try to remember, won't you?
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INSPECTOR: Fortunately, my one shot
had punctured Louie's diamond bag.
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Leaving a telltale trail of gems.
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No shooting, please.
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INSPECTOR: Halt!
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Halt, you scoundrel.
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Now I've got him.
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It's no use, Louie, you're trapped like a rat.
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Now come out of there, or I'll...
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How can I capture him
if I can't use my gun?
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Oh, I know. I'll use this gun silencer.
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There, now I'll finish off
that murderous fink once and for all.
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(WHISPERING) No shooting, please.
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That's odd, very odd indeed.
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No shooting.
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I know you're in there.
If you don't come out, I'll blast my way in.
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All right, you asked for it.
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I suggest you restrain yourself, sir.
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(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
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Now, if you will allow me,
I'll look into the matter.
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I don't see anything.
Are you sure he's in there?
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INSPECTOR: Let me have a look.
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Here.
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- Does that answer your question?
- Precisely, sir.
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You, in there, if you don't
surrender peacefully by the count of three
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we shall be forced to bash down the door.
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One...
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Two...
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(BELL RINGING)
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By Jove, it's time for tea.
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Will you come on?
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Righto, but remember, no shooting.
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One...
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Two...
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Three.
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Ready?
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Terribly sorry, old fellow, but I'll just
have to relieve you of your gun.
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Why, you sneaky...
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(PUNCHES SOUNDING)
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(GRUNTING)
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Oh, there you are.
Give it to him, Inspector.
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Bravo! Good show!
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Come back, you coward.
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(GRUNTING)
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Well, Inspector,
I guess that wraps up the case
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and I know you'll be happy
to have your gun back.
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- But remember, in England, no shooting.
- I understand perfectly, Captain.
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Oh, yes. You'd better take these jewels.
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INSPECTOR: I suddenly felt
a strong urge to travel,
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and the Captain, acting as my guide,
escorted me back to Paris.
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By way of Rome,
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Geneva,
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Venice...
4967
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