Original subtitles

INSPECTOR: I was hot on the trail of Louie Le'Swipe,

the international jewel thief.

I had pursued him all over the continent.

From one European capital to another.

And at last, in London, I finally closed in on him.

(GUN CLICKING)

Now I've got him.

Begging your pardon, governor.

But I believe the captain would like a word with you.

INSPECTOR: Later, at Scotland Yard, I established my identity

as a French police officer.

We'll be delighted to assist you in apprehending this jewel thief, Inspector.

But I say, old boy, do put away that gun. We police don't use them here in England.

It's against the law and all that, you know.

Look, there's Louie.

Bring back those jewels, you blackguard.

(GUN FIRING)

Why, that swine. Take this!

No shooting, old boy. Do try to remember, won't you?

INSPECTOR: Fortunately, my one shot had punctured Louie's diamond bag.

Leaving a telltale trail of gems.

No shooting, please.

INSPECTOR: Halt!

Halt, you scoundrel.

Now I've got him.

It's no use, Louie, you're trapped like a rat.

Now come out of there, or I'll...

How can I capture him if I can't use my gun?

Oh, I know. I'll use this gun silencer.

There, now I'll finish off that murderous fink once and for all.

(WHISPERING) No shooting, please.

That's odd, very odd indeed.

No shooting.

I know you're in there. If you don't come out, I'll blast my way in.

All right, you asked for it.

I suggest you restrain yourself, sir.

(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Now, if you will allow me, I'll look into the matter.

I don't see anything. Are you sure he's in there?

INSPECTOR: Let me have a look.

Here.

- Does that answer your question? - Precisely, sir.

You, in there, if you don't surrender peacefully by the count of three

we shall be forced to bash down the door.

One...

Two...

(BELL RINGING)

By Jove, it's time for tea.

Will you come on?

Righto, but remember, no shooting.

One...

Two...

Three.

Ready?

Terribly sorry, old fellow, but I'll just have to relieve you of your gun.

Why, you sneaky...

(PUNCHES SOUNDING)

(GRUNTING)

Oh, there you are. Give it to him, Inspector.

Bravo! Good show!

Come back, you coward.

(GRUNTING)

Well, Inspector, I guess that wraps up the case

and I know you'll be happy to have your gun back.

- But remember, in England, no shooting. - I understand perfectly, Captain.

Oh, yes. You'd better take these jewels.

INSPECTOR: I suddenly felt a strong urge to travel,

and the Captain, acting as my guide, escorted me back to Paris.

By way of Rome,

Geneva,

Venice...