All language subtitles for John Phelan Fired as Navy Sec., Replaced with Witch-Hunter Hung Cao ｜ The Daily Show [At3dA3mRJak].en

All eyes are still on the straight of

All eyes are still on the straight of
Hormuz, which we can now all agree is

Hormuz, which we can now all agree is

Hormuz, which we can now all agree is
the most important narrow waterway in

the most important narrow waterway in

the most important narrow waterway in
the world. Look, no offense to the

the world. Look, no offense to the

the world. Look, no offense to the
Panama Canal, but if I were you, I'd

Panama Canal, but if I were you, I'd

Panama Canal, but if I were you, I'd
kill myself.

Anyway, as part of Trump's efforts to

Anyway, as part of Trump's efforts to
pressure Iran to open the straight, the

pressure Iran to open the straight, the

pressure Iran to open the straight, the
US Navy is blockading all Iranian ports

US Navy is blockading all Iranian ports

US Navy is blockading all Iranian ports
along the coastline, which is a very

along the coastline, which is a very

along the coastline, which is a very
complex, difficult task. But luckily,

complex, difficult task. But luckily,

complex, difficult task. But luckily,
we've got the steady, stable leadership

we've got the steady, stable leadership

we've got the steady, stable leadership
of US Navy Secretary John Felin to get

of US Navy Secretary John Felin to get

of US Navy Secretary John Felin to get
the job done.

the job done.

the job done.
>> US Navy Secretary John Felen ousted from

>> US Navy Secretary John Felen ousted from

>> US Navy Secretary John Felen ousted from
his position effected immediately.

his position effected immediately.

his position effected immediately.
>> What?

>> What?

>> What?
You're in the middle of a major naval

You're in the middle of a major naval

You're in the middle of a major naval
operation and you're firing the guy

operation and you're firing the guy

operation and you're firing the guy
whose job is to be in charge of major

whose job is to be in charge of major

whose job is to be in charge of major
naval operations

naval operations

naval operations
just because what? He looks like a high

just because what? He looks like a high

just because what? He looks like a high
school principal who's always asking the

school principal who's always asking the

school principal who's always asking the
girls for hugs.

girls for hugs.

girls for hugs.
How else are you gonna say congrats on

How else are you gonna say congrats on

How else are you gonna say congrats on
sophomore year?

There must be a reason.

There must be a reason.
>> Tensions between Felen and Defense

>> Tensions between Felen and Defense

>> Tensions between Felen and Defense
Secretary Pete Hexath had been mounting.

Secretary Pete Hexath had been mounting.

Secretary Pete Hexath had been mounting.
According to multiple sources familiar

According to multiple sources familiar

According to multiple sources familiar
with the relationship, the approach

with the relationship, the approach

with the relationship, the approach
Felen was taking when it came to ship

Felen was taking when it came to ship

Felen was taking when it came to ship
building appears to have been the main

building appears to have been the main

building appears to have been the main
reason for the firing.

reason for the firing.

reason for the firing.
>> Yep. Yeah, that makes sense. I um I

>> Yep. Yeah, that makes sense. I um I

>> Yep. Yeah, that makes sense. I um I
can't tell you how many friends I've

can't tell you how many friends I've

can't tell you how many friends I've
lost arguing about ship building. It's

lost arguing about ship building. It's

lost arguing about ship building. It's
It's actually kind of sad.

It's actually kind of sad.

It's actually kind of sad.
Tim, Gary, Todd, I know we haven't

Tim, Gary, Todd, I know we haven't

Tim, Gary, Todd, I know we haven't
spoken since our big fight about whether

spoken since our big fight about whether

spoken since our big fight about whether
a displacement hall is superior to a

a displacement hall is superior to a

a displacement hall is superior to a
semi-displacement hall, but I still

semi-displacement hall, but I still

semi-displacement hall, but I still
think that a semi-displacement offers

think that a semi-displacement offers

think that a semi-displacement offers
better balance of range and speed. But I

better balance of range and speed. But I

better balance of range and speed. But I
wish it hadn't torn our friendship

wish it hadn't torn our friendship

wish it hadn't torn our friendship
apart, especially since none of us were

apart, especially since none of us were

apart, especially since none of us were
actually building a ship.

actually building a ship.

actually building a ship.
Also, sorry for banging your wives. Um,

Also, sorry for banging your wives. Um,

Also, sorry for banging your wives. Um,
in retrospect, that was childish and

in retrospect, that was childish and

in retrospect, that was childish and
uncalled for.

BUT this firing is a little concerning,

BUT this firing is a little concerning,
especially because we're losing all of

especially because we're losing all of

especially because we're losing all of
the military expertise that I'm sure

the military expertise that I'm sure

the military expertise that I'm sure
John Felin had been bringing for the job

John Felin had been bringing for the job

John Felin had been bringing for the job
for, I assume, years.

for, I assume, years.

for, I assume, years.
>> Before taking the job just 13 months

>> Before taking the job just 13 months

>> Before taking the job just 13 months
ago, Felen was a Florida businessman and

ago, Felen was a Florida businessman and

ago, Felen was a Florida businessman and
a major donor to President Trump's

a major donor to President Trump's

a major donor to President Trump's
campaigns. He had never served in the

campaigns. He had never served in the

campaigns. He had never served in the
military.

military.

military.
>> Holy That's it.

>> Holy That's it.

>> Holy That's it.
They put a guy in charge of the US Navy

They put a guy in charge of the US Navy

They put a guy in charge of the US Navy
because he's good at being rich.

because he's good at being rich.

because he's good at being rich.
Secretary, six incoming torpedoes.

Secretary, six incoming torpedoes.

Secretary, six incoming torpedoes.
Quick, throw some money at him. I mean,

Quick, throw some money at him. I mean,

Quick, throw some money at him. I mean,
but still, Trump hangs out with lots of

but still, Trump hangs out with lots of

but still, Trump hangs out with lots of
rich people. There must have been

rich people. There must have been

rich people. There must have been
something more about John Felin that he

something more about John Felin that he

something more about John Felin that he
liked. John Felen is named on a flight

liked. John Felen is named on a flight

liked. John Felen is named on a flight
manifest indicating that he flew on

manifest indicating that he flew on

manifest indicating that he flew on
Jeffrey Epstein's private plane in March

Jeffrey Epstein's private plane in March

Jeffrey Epstein's private plane in March
2006.

2006.

2006.
>> God damn,

>> God damn,

>> God damn,
that plane was like a LinkedIn for

that plane was like a LinkedIn for

that plane was like a LinkedIn for
creeps.

creeps.

creeps.
Someone on there must have been like,

Someone on there must have been like,

Someone on there must have been like,
"Yeah, I did kids, but only for the

"Yeah, I did kids, but only for the

"Yeah, I did kids, but only for the
networking.

networking.

networking.
So maybe it's not so bad that HGset

So maybe it's not so bad that HGset

So maybe it's not so bad that HGset
isn't feeling feeling anymore, but who's

isn't feeling feeling anymore, but who's

isn't feeling feeling anymore, but who's
taking the helm from him?

taking the helm from him?

taking the helm from him?
>> Replacing him is acting head of the Navy

>> Replacing him is acting head of the Navy

>> Replacing him is acting head of the Navy
will be under secretary Hunga, a combat

will be under secretary Hunga, a combat

will be under secretary Hunga, a combat
veteran who ran unsuccessful campaigns

veteran who ran unsuccessful campaigns

veteran who ran unsuccessful campaigns
for the House and Senate in Virginia.

for the House and Senate in Virginia.

for the House and Senate in Virginia.
>> This is a great gentleman. I love his

>> This is a great gentleman. I love his

>> This is a great gentleman. I love his
name, Hunga. I love that name.

name, Hunga. I love that name.

name, Hunga. I love that name.
>> Okay, sure.

>> Okay, sure.

>> Okay, sure.
I'm sure he loves that name now,

I'm sure he loves that name now,

I'm sure he loves that name now,
but how long until Trump forgets Hunga's

but how long until Trump forgets Hunga's

but how long until Trump forgets Hunga's
name and starts trying to get close?

name and starts trying to get close?

name and starts trying to get close?
Hey, the carrier's under attack. Where's

Hey, the carrier's under attack. Where's

Hey, the carrier's under attack. Where's
a fat dong? Huh? Hey, anyone seen chubby

a fat dong? Huh? Hey, anyone seen chubby

a fat dong? Huh? Hey, anyone seen chubby
wang?

By the way, hung cow was my nickname in

By the way, hung cow was my nickname in
high school.

That's right, ladies. I was wellendowed

That's right, ladies. I was wellendowed
and my farts caused climate change. Now,

and my farts caused climate change. Now,

and my farts caused climate change. Now,
to be clear,

to be clear,

to be clear,
Cow does have some things that you want

Cow does have some things that you want

Cow does have some things that you want
in a Navy secretary, like 20 years

in a Navy secretary, like 20 years

in a Navy secretary, like 20 years
experience in the Navy. But in case

experience in the Navy. But in case

experience in the Navy. But in case
you're worried that Trump accidentally

you're worried that Trump accidentally

you're worried that Trump accidentally
hired someone normal, not so fast. For

hired someone normal, not so fast. For

hired someone normal, not so fast. For
example, he seems very concerned about

example, he seems very concerned about

example, he seems very concerned about
Christians being persecuted, even when

Christians being persecuted, even when

Christians being persecuted, even when
it's a bit of a stretch. There's a place

it's a bit of a stretch. There's a place

it's a bit of a stretch. There's a place
um in Monterey, California called

um in Monterey, California called

um in Monterey, California called
Lover's Point.

Lover's Point.

Lover's Point.
>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah.
>> The original name was Lovers of Christ

>> The original name was Lovers of Christ

>> The original name was Lovers of Christ
Point, but now it's become they they

Point, but now it's become they they

Point, but now it's become they they
took out the Christ, it's Lovers Point.

took out the Christ, it's Lovers Point.

took out the Christ, it's Lovers Point.
>> Oh, okay. That's very interesting. So

>> Oh, okay. That's very interesting. So

>> Oh, okay. That's very interesting. So
that's actually just like Orlando

that's actually just like Orlando

that's actually just like Orlando
originally was called Orlando. Don't you

originally was called Orlando. Don't you

originally was called Orlando. Don't you
love Jesus?

Is changing it from Lovers of Christ

Is changing it from Lovers of Christ
point to lover's point that big of a

point to lover's point that big of a

point to lover's point that big of a
deal? I mean, if they change it to rim

deal? I mean, if they change it to rim

deal? I mean, if they change it to rim
job lovers point, yeah, fine. That might

job lovers point, yeah, fine. That might

job lovers point, yeah, fine. That might
send a signal,

send a signal,

send a signal,
but they didn't. And that's why I have

but they didn't. And that's why I have

but they didn't. And that's why I have
no interest in going.

But sorry, I interrupted. You were

But sorry, I interrupted. You were
talking about how all the Christians

talking about how all the Christians

talking about how all the Christians
were driven out of Monterey, California.

were driven out of Monterey, California.

were driven out of Monterey, California.
So, what happened next?

So, what happened next?

So, what happened next?
>> And it's really Monterey is a very dark

>> And it's really Monterey is a very dark

>> And it's really Monterey is a very dark
place now. A lot of witchcraft and the

place now. A lot of witchcraft and the

place now. A lot of witchcraft and the
the the the Wiccan community has really

the the the Wiccan community has really

the the the Wiccan community has really
taken over there. And we can't let that

taken over there. And we can't let that

taken over there. And we can't let that
happen in Virginia.

happen in Virginia.

happen in Virginia.
>> Yeah. No. Yeah. We can't let we can't

>> Yeah. No. Yeah. We can't let we can't

>> Yeah. No. Yeah. We can't let we can't
let Virginia be taken over by witches.

let Virginia be taken over by witches.

let Virginia be taken over by witches.
Also, I have a I have a follow-up

Also, I have a I have a follow-up

Also, I have a I have a follow-up
question. What the are you talking

question. What the are you talking

question. What the are you talking
about?

about?

about?
Why I mean,

Why I mean,

Why I mean,
why is everybody they appoint soing

why is everybody they appoint soing

why is everybody they appoint soing
crazy? Can they just find a normal

crazy? Can they just find a normal

crazy? Can they just find a normal
person with a normal head on his

person with a normal head on his

person with a normal head on his
shoulders who believes normal things?

shoulders who believes normal things?

shoulders who believes normal things?
What kind of sailors does this guy even

What kind of sailors does this guy even

What kind of sailors does this guy even
want to recruit?

want to recruit?

want to recruit?
>> When you're using a uh, you know, drag

>> When you're using a uh, you know, drag

>> When you're using a uh, you know, drag
queen to recruit for the Navy, that's

queen to recruit for the Navy, that's

queen to recruit for the Navy, that's
not the people we want. What what we

not the people we want. What what we

not the people we want. What what we
need is alpha males and alpha females.

need is alpha males and alpha females.

need is alpha males and alpha females.
>> Alpha females, right? So

>> Alpha females, right? So

>> Alpha females, right? So
>> So drag queens.

Maybe he's right. Maybe he's right.

Maybe he's right. Maybe he's right.
Maybe we need alpha males who will beat

Maybe we need alpha males who will beat

Maybe we need alpha males who will beat
the out of our enemies and alpha

the out of our enemies and alpha

the out of our enemies and alpha
females who will mock their insecurities

females who will mock their insecurities

females who will mock their insecurities
so precisely they'll never leave the

so precisely they'll never leave the

so precisely they'll never leave the
house again.

house again.

house again.
But what exactly will the alpha males

But what exactly will the alpha males

But what exactly will the alpha males
and females do that others can't?

and females do that others can't?

and females do that others can't?
>> What we need is alpha males and alpha

>> What we need is alpha males and alpha

>> What we need is alpha males and alpha
females who are going to rip out their

females who are going to rip out their

females who are going to rip out their
own guts, eat them, and ask for seconds.

own guts, eat them, and ask for seconds.

own guts, eat them, and ask for seconds.
That those are young men and women that

That those are young men and women that

That those are young men and women that
are going to win wars.

>> You want alpha males and females who eat

>> You want alpha males and females who eat
their own ripped out guts?

their own ripped out guts?

their own ripped out guts?
>> Maybe. I don't know what war is. I I

>> Maybe. I don't know what war is. I I

>> Maybe. I don't know what war is. I I
mean, I guess it might freak out the

mean, I guess it might freak out the

mean, I guess it might freak out the
enemy if they see the alpha soldiers

enemy if they see the alpha soldiers

enemy if they see the alpha soldiers
pulling out their own stomachs and

pulling out their own stomachs and

pulling out their own stomachs and
eating them, but that's only going to

eating them, but that's only going to

eating them, but that's only going to
work once.

Also, not to be nitpicky, but if you eat

Also, not to be nitpicky, but if you eat
your own guts, where do they go?

>> For more on Hunga and his new leadership

>> For more on Hunga and his new leadership
at the Navy, let's go live to Jordan

at the Navy, let's go live to Jordan

at the Navy, let's go live to Jordan
Cleer in Arlington, Virginia.

So, was there no one else who could have

So, was there no one else who could have
filled the role that wasn't a Trump

filled the role that wasn't a Trump

filled the role that wasn't a Trump
donor or insane extremist?

donor or insane extremist?

donor or insane extremist?
>> Nope. Back to you, Michael. But

>> Nope. Back to you, Michael. But

>> Nope. Back to you, Michael. But
come on. Surely there was one person who

come on. Surely there was one person who

come on. Surely there was one person who
was a little more qualified. You know,

was a little more qualified. You know,

was a little more qualified. You know,
I've seen the entire list of candidates,

I've seen the entire list of candidates,

I've seen the entire list of candidates,
Michael. And man afraid of witches was

Michael. And man afraid of witches was

Michael. And man afraid of witches was
indeed their best option.

indeed their best option.

indeed their best option.
Now, there were really only two types of

Now, there were really only two types of

Now, there were really only two types of
candidates for this donors or the

candidates for this donors or the

candidates for this donors or the
loonies. I mean, all the more

loonies. I mean, all the more

loonies. I mean, all the more
experienced candidates were hesitant

experienced candidates were hesitant

experienced candidates were hesitant
about committing war crimes or holding

about committing war crimes or holding

about committing war crimes or holding
Pete Hex's hair back after happy hour at

Pete Hex's hair back after happy hour at

Pete Hex's hair back after happy hour at
Ruby Tuesdays.

Ruby Tuesdays.

Ruby Tuesdays.
>> Okay. Okay. Well, then who else were

>> Okay. Okay. Well, then who else were

>> Okay. Okay. Well, then who else were
they considering?

they considering?

they considering?
>> Well, for example, they look closely at

>> Well, for example, they look closely at

>> Well, for example, they look closely at
this guy. His name is John Trunk.

this guy. His name is John Trunk.

this guy. His name is John Trunk.
>> Okay. And he served in the Navy.

>> Okay. And he served in the Navy.

>> Okay. And he served in the Navy.
>> Well, not the Navy per se, but he was

>> Well, not the Navy per se, but he was

>> Well, not the Navy per se, but he was
patient zero on that cruise ship where

patient zero on that cruise ship where

patient zero on that cruise ship where
everyone got dysentery. Um,

everyone got dysentery. Um,

everyone got dysentery. Um,
does he have any military experience?

does he have any military experience?

does he have any military experience?
>> It depends. Would you consider funneling

>> It depends. Would you consider funneling

>> It depends. Would you consider funneling
crypto to Baron Trump's offshore bank

crypto to Baron Trump's offshore bank

crypto to Baron Trump's offshore bank
accounts to be military experience?

accounts to be military experience?

accounts to be military experience?
>> No. No.

>> No. No.

>> No. No.
>> Then no, he does not have military

>> Then no, he does not have military

>> Then no, he does not have military
experience. But uh, if he doesn't float

experience. But uh, if he doesn't float

experience. But uh, if he doesn't float
your boat, little maritime humor there,

your boat, little maritime humor there,

your boat, little maritime humor there,
then the administration also considered

then the administration also considered

then the administration also considered
Carson McDougall.

Carson McDougall.

Carson McDougall.
>> Oh, okay. He looks like a sailor at

>> Oh, okay. He looks like a sailor at

>> Oh, okay. He looks like a sailor at
least.

least.

least.
>> Uh, yes. He was the admiral of the

>> Uh, yes. He was the admiral of the

>> Uh, yes. He was the admiral of the
January 6th amphibious fleet. They uh

January 6th amphibious fleet. They uh

January 6th amphibious fleet. They uh
they tried to storm the capital by sea,

they tried to storm the capital by sea,

they tried to storm the capital by sea,
but failed to realize the reflecting

but failed to realize the reflecting

but failed to realize the reflecting
pool is more of an inland pond.

pool is more of an inland pond.

pool is more of an inland pond.
>> Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Go back to the

>> Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Go back to the

>> Okay. No, no, no, no, no. Go back to the
Trump donors. Who else do we have?

Trump donors. Who else do we have?

Trump donors. Who else do we have?
>> Sure. Trump also considered mega donor

>> Sure. Trump also considered mega donor

>> Sure. Trump also considered mega donor
Steve Richmond. Uh that's him right

Steve Richmond. Uh that's him right

Steve Richmond. Uh that's him right
there in the the middle. Yeah, I

there in the the middle. Yeah, I

there in the the middle. Yeah, I
>> Jordan, I refuse to believe there wasn't

>> Jordan, I refuse to believe there wasn't

>> Jordan, I refuse to believe there wasn't
a single candidate who wasn't a Trump

a single candidate who wasn't a Trump

a single candidate who wasn't a Trump
crony or right-wing extremist.

crony or right-wing extremist.

crony or right-wing extremist.
>> Well, there I mean there was one other

>> Well, there I mean there was one other

>> Well, there I mean there was one other
in the mix. Uh an expert at sea-based

in the mix. Uh an expert at sea-based

in the mix. Uh an expert at sea-based
warfare, a strong negotiator with no

warfare, a strong negotiator with no

warfare, a strong negotiator with no
ties to Donald Trump or Jeffrey Epstein.

ties to Donald Trump or Jeffrey Epstein.

ties to Donald Trump or Jeffrey Epstein.
>> Well, where you been hiding this guy? He

>> Well, where you been hiding this guy? He

>> Well, where you been hiding this guy? He
sounds perfect.

sounds perfect.

sounds perfect.
>> Well, not a he, Michael. She her name is

>> Well, not a he, Michael. She her name is

>> Well, not a he, Michael. She her name is
Ursula and she's

Ursula and she's

Ursula and she's
she's um she's promised to put Iran's

she's um she's promised to put Iran's

she's um she's promised to put Iran's
naval fleet under the sea. This is this

naval fleet under the sea. This is this

naval fleet under the sea. This is this
is so stupid. I don't want Ursula the

is so stupid. I don't want Ursula the

is so stupid. I don't want Ursula the
sea witch commanding the US Navy.

sea witch commanding the US Navy.

sea witch commanding the US Navy.
>> OH, WELL WELL you don't like witches

>> OH, WELL WELL you don't like witches

>> OH, WELL WELL you don't like witches
either, huh? Well, sounds like

either, huh? Well, sounds like

either, huh? Well, sounds like
somebody's running aboard the USS Hunga.

somebody's running aboard the USS Hunga.

somebody's running aboard the USS Hunga.
>> Fair point. Jordan Clapper, everyone.