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This programme
contains some strong language
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Throughout 2019, British politics
was in flux, with old certainties
getting shat through a bin bag.
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At the start of 2019, there was
this sort of Theresa May woman,
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who'd been Prime Minister by mistake
for almost three years.
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Some people thought Theresa May
looked awkward in her own skin,
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but I'm not convinced
it was her own skin.
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She had this sort of habit
of going...
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..with her mouth, like a fish
that had just got hooked
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on a political problem.
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Even when she was smiling, you could
see her face started thinking,
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"I'm not sure about this,"
and then she'd start...
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Like, all over the shop.
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Anyway, her biggest problem was,
she'd set herself the job of
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delivering some sort of Brexit deal,
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but no-one could agree
on what that was.
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In fact, the only thing anyone
did agree on
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was that she was
making the disagreements worse.
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CHANTING: What do we want? Brexit!
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When do we want it? Now!
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Let's get out.
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Let's have Brexit!
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Leavers kept saying Brexit was
the will of the people.
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What I believe we must do is
deliver on the will of the people.
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And the 48% who had voted Remain
weren't happy about that,
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because they were people too.
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But in a referendum,
the side that wins gets to decide
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which way everyone else had really
wanted to vote in the first place,
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and then add that to their score.
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So once you factor that in, the
result goes from 52% to 100% Leave,
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which is why
it's the will of the people.
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And you can't argue with that.
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Or even secretly disagree with it,
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because it's your own will.
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Anyway, the MPs kept trying to do
Brexit again, and again,
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and they couldn't quite shunt it
through the voting hole,
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or whatever it is they use.
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MPs have rejected Theresa May's
withdrawal agreement
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for a third time, throwing
the UK's Brexit strategy
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into further confusion.
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While all this was going on,
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Corbyn still didn't know
how he felt about Brexit.
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It was really difficult for him.
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Even harder than trying to work out
what anti-Semitism is.
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So he decided to appeal to Leavers
and Remainers by not saying anything
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that might inspire either of them.
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And when you're trying to unite
opposing sides like that,
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the last thing you need is a bunch
of fucking centrists in your party,
48
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getting in the way.
49
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:13,480
Some of his followers told them
to fuck off and join the Tories.
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00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,000
So they did -
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the obedient bastards.
52
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,600
Suddenly there was this group
called Change "uck",
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who altered the face of British
politics for an entire afternoon.
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By April, the whole thing
was in total shitlock.
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So we had to hold
the European elections.
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That's when Nigel Farage
invented the Brexit Party.
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It's one of those no-nonsense
names that does what it says
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on the tin - like that pile cream
called AnuSol.
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Although that comes in a tube,
not a tin...
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I expect.
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When the votes were counted,
the Tories hadn't done great,
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so Theresa had to Article 50
the shit out of herself.
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She said she was going to quit,
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and did a bye-bye speech where her
voice went a bit wobbly at the end.
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To have had the opportunity...
to serve the country I love.
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I felt a bit sorry for her,
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because it shows she really was
capable of regular human emotions,
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00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,520
like self-pity and resentment.
69
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,320
Once Theresa May had gone, they had
a race to be the new Prime Minister
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among all these young hopefuls
like Michael Glove,
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and the first baby
to be Home Secretary,
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and this sort of teeth bloke,
who looked like a cross
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between Eddie Redmayne
and the Child Catcher.
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00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,240
But the frontrunner
was always Boris Johnson.
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When you see him on the news
with his hair and his face,
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looking like an overstuffed
scarecrow that's fallen in a trough
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00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:31,120
of pink-flavoured Angel Delight,
you think,
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"Hang on, I'm going to absolutely
piss myself here."
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Like a cartoon's just come on.
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But instead of telling jokes,
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he just sort of makes
posh buffering noises.
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I'm cautiously optimistic.
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How-how-how-what...
Is that a good enough, erm...
84
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Anyway, Boris won, so he had to
become Mayor of Britain for a bit.
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The thing is,
the elite establishment
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still kept trying to stop Brexit,
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but luckily now, there were
these everyday, underdog,
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honest men of the soil like Jacob
Rees-Mogg ready to take them on.
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00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:04,200
Boris had this genius bloke working
for him, Dominic Cumberbatch.
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00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,640
He used to work on the Leave
campaign, and they made
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00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:10,400
a film about it where he was
played by his brother, Sherlock.
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It really brought home
just how clever and bold he was.
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Because he seemed
so clever in the film,
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00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,640
everyone assumed
he was clever in real life
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and that everything he did was
part of a clever strategy.
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00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,320
Even if he blew off into his hand
and smelt it -
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not that he did that,
but if he had,
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it would've been
for a clever reason.
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00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,440
Anyway, Boris kept trying to
make Brexit happen,
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but he couldn't manage it either,
even after he'd tricked the Queen
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into turning Parliament
off and on again.
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So he gave this speech saying
he didn't want an election...
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I don't want an election. ..And that
no-one wanted an election.
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You don't want an election.
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And then he asked for an election.
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As if that was going to work!
9118
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