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One of my favourite movie
moments of 2019
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was when they remade the Lion King,
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because they got rid of those stupid
cartoon drawings everybody
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hated so much in the first one and
did it properly, using real lions.
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00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,840
It was really impressive.
If you think about how long it takes
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to do a David Attenborough,
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where the cameraman has to
hide in a bush for two years just to
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film a chinchilla having a shit,
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to have to wait until the lions were
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doing the exact same thing
as the cartoon lions,
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in the original,
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like, a shot for shot remake,
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must have taken forever.
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I mean, the chances of getting even
one shot are remote.
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Some people said it wasn't very good
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because they couldn't tell one lion
from another...
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..which is sort of
lion racism, really.
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And they
complained the real lions
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weren't as expressive
as the cartoon lions.
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But that's not the
real lions' fault.
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For one thing,
they've never been to acting school.
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They're just not given
those opportunities,
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and, for another thing,
that's just how lions' faces work.
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They don't have emotion muscles
and anyway,
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they made up for it with
all their lovely singing.
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# Hakuna Matata
Hakuna, matata, hakuna, matata... #
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The thing is, it looked like actual
footage but apparently
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they did a lot of it with CGI, which
is an even more amazing achievement.
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I don't envy you ever having
to squeeze all the real lions
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into those bright green leotards
with ping-pong balls all over them.
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All the animals in it
look totally real,
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except they don't have bumholes,
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so when they eat food,
they can't get it out afterwards.
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They must just keep swelling
and swelling until they burst,
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all up the walls of that computer
universe they're in.
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The good thing is that now we've got
backup copies of all these animals,
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so when the environment goes to shit
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and all the real ones die,
we can still go to the zoo in VR.
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Literally, the only difference
is going to be the bumholes.
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And I can live with that.
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Quintin Cappuccino made a new
version of that film he does.
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It was called
"ONSE Upon a Time in Hollywood."
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It was based around
the Manson killings
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which was this
genuine tragedy in America
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where a load of people were murdered
by these mad hippies on LSD.
46
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And it explored
that by concentrating on two blokes
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who weren't there and didn't exist.
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One of the murder victims
was Sharon Tate.
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It really brought her life
back to life.
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Like, you saw how she might have
gone shopping, or sort
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of walked about, or lived next door
to these two more interesting men.
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Before the film, I didn't know
anything about Sharon Tate,
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but afterwards,
I knew even less, which is good
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00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,120
because it means it kept
a respectful distance.
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You know, leave Sharon Tate alone.
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She is dead, except in this,
where she's still alive,
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just standing around looking
pretty in the background,
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not really saying much.
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Which is what she would have wanted.
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Well, it might be. We'll never know.
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00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,400
So it might as well be what
she would have wanted.
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00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,200
And then,
at least she's still working.
63
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,280
Some people got upset because Sharon
Tate doesn't get much dialogue.
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00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,320
But there's others
who have a worse time.
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00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:04,160
Like, even though the whole thing
was Charles Manson's idea,
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he's totally overlooked.
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He's in one scene
and he has about two lines,
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so, he's the real victim here!
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WILD CACKLING
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There was this sort of film
thing called Joker.
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It was like a dark origin
story about the actual
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joker off of playing cards.
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That's the one card no-one wants.
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No-one even plays with it, which is
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probably why he fell all left behind
and angry, so in many ways,
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it was like a sort of dark reboot
of Play Your Cards Right
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but with Robert De Niro
instead of Bruce Forsyth.
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It's actually set about
40 years ago
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before superhero movies
were popular,
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which is why no-one in it
has heard of the Joker yet.
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00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,760
It's quite controversial.
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Like, Joaquin Phoenix is totally
appropriating clown culture in it.
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There's whole scenes where
he's in whiteface.
84
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,520
I mean, I know it was a different
time when they shot it,
85
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in 1981, but he must be mortified
it's resurfaced now.
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He'll probably never get cast
in anything ever again.
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00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,520
TV HOST: The film contains brutal
violence and overall bad vibes.
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Even though it's sort of a superhero
film with a clown in it,
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it's not for kids.
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00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,520
I mean, if I wanted my kids to watch
one man's painful descent
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00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:17,680
into total grinding despair,
I'd still be living at home.
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00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,360
Just before the film came out,
the news in America was
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full of these concerned reports read
out by frowning, handsome
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people going on and on about how it
might inspire a massacre.
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A bit like they secretly wanted
that to happen.
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Tonight, amid concern that the new
Joker movie could be
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used as an excuse
for a mass shooting...
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To be fair, in America, you don't
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have to go to the movies to see
a mass shooting anyway.
100
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,680
You can just look out the window
or go to a shopping mall
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or a school or a church or a
restaurant or to your own workplace,
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or a nightclub, or an ice rink.
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Actually, have they done one
in a ice rink yet?
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You could just keep me
saying that in anyway...
105
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..because they will have by the time
this goes out.
9115
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