Original subtitles

Love seeing you at work, it's just...

-It's like science, isn't it? -So precise, like, yeah.

And...

-What do you think? -Oh, God, I love it.

[director] So are you seeing Grindah again?

We're just sort of seeing what happens.

I'm worried if we rush into it, then it might go back to Grindah taking me for granted.

Oh, man, I can't get over it. I'm like a different person.

[Miche] If we move too slowly, he might start trying too hard

and start cleaning everything again, so...

Yeah, we're taking it at medium speed.

-Cool. -See you later then.

-All right then. So, see ya. -Ah!

-All right, bye. -Bye.

-Thanks...for doing my hair. -All right then, I'll text you.

-I mean, you text me. I'll see you later, yeah. -Yeah, yeah.

-We'll do some texting. -Cool. All right then.

-OK, bye. -See you later.

You two seem to be getting along well.

-Yeah. -Very cosy.

Do you reckon you'll get back together?

I dunno. We're just sort of seeing how it goes.

I mean, getting rid of that hair definitely helps his chances.

Yeah. Just need to sort the rest of him now.

[Grindah] Hold tight, Kold FM, if you're locked in, yeah?

-[music plays] -[both] Official diss tune.

Kold FM.

-This is the warning. -Yeah!

♪ Get out the way, get out the way! ♪

-♪ Kold FM sceptic got... ♪ -Who are they?

♪ Get out the way, get out the way! Kold FM sceptic got... ♪

♪ Phaces! ♪ ♪ Kold pussy, yo! get out the way! ♪

-♪ Kold FM pussy, yo! ♪ -♪ Get out the way! ♪

-♪ Kold pussy, yo! ♪ -♪ Get out the way! ♪

-♪ Kold FM pussy, yo! ♪ -♪ Get out the way! ♪

♪ It's Beats and Grindah! ♪

[Grindah] As a response to the Kold FM boys

writing "snitches get stitches" on our station,

we're gonna send Steve down there to give a bit of a message of our own.

Exactly. Grindah told him to write,

-"We didn't snitch" on a wall in their studio, innit? -Exactly.

-No one messes with Kurupt FM. -No one.

[Steves] Wait, you want me to write, "No one messes with Kurupt FM"?

No, "We didn't snitch"! So they know the man ain't a snitcher.

Sorry, yeah, no. Cos you said... Oh, yeah.

Where's Steve, anyway, man? He's taking time.

-Hold tight Steve on a secret mission and that, yeah. -Yes. Top secret.

I'm gonna write in all capitals as well so it's aggressive.

Yeah, I'm saying, caps lock, "We didn't snitch".

And I love this tune, Decie. Man like!

-Boys! -Easy. Took your fucking time.

-[dog barks] -What's that? What the fuck?

I stole their dog. They left it tied up outside and I stole it.

-Why the fuck did you steal their dog? -To send a message.

-Like you said. -What fucking message?

"Don't fuck with Kurput FM or...we'll steal your dog".

Steve, you put us in a hostage situation, great(!)

-What should I do with it? -Treat it like a hostage.

-What, like, blindfold it? -No, not blindfold it!

It's too late now. It's seen everything anyway.

I don't wanna have a hostage at radio cos, like, you're already in a high-risk environment.

Oh, my God, he's attacking him. Jesus Christ!

Steve, Steve, put him away! Steve, Steve, put him away!

So we don't wanna be putting more risk with, like, a dangerous dog

barking all the time, do you know what I'm...

-Are you scared of dogs? -I'm not scared of dogs!

I'm just, like, not stupid do you know what I mean?

Stop, riling... Beats, stop, riling him up.

He's well safe. Look at that.

Steves, look at me. Stop riling him up.

Does your T-shirt fit you OK?

Yeah, it's... Yeah, it's nice. Really good fit. Thank you, boss.

-Excellent, nice one. Just call me Sam. -Oh, sorry, yes. Thanks, Sam.

OK, so we'll just start off pretty easy, just show you the ropes.

Don't worry about that, mate. Throw me right into the deep end, mate. No foreplay.

Just get me straight on the floor.

You won't be doing any sales this week.

-Oh, why? -That comes later, once you've done your training.

Yeah. Why don't we just have a little walk around the store?

Show you where things are. So here we've got the home audio.

[Chabsie] Normally, I'd be on the Hounslow Market street, selling my shit.

I'm an "entrepreneer". But every "entrepreneer" has low moments now and again.

So sometimes you gotta do some shit like this.

This is just temporary, mate, this is not permanent.

So we've got our premium TVs here. Here's the big boy.

-The girthy. The curved. -Girthy, curved.

-Yeah, I'm a bit curved as well to the right. -Cool.

Just follow me. And stop me if you've got any questions so far, Charlie.

This is where you'll be spending most of your day.

So here's where we keep all our stock.

Yeah... So I'm just gonna be in here then?

Yeah, and there's lots to be getting on with here. So we'll keep you busy, don't worry.

Hopefully, I haven't missed Angel's performance.

Wanna get a little video of it for her YouTube channel.

[piano plays, girl sings]

Hiya! Has Angel had hers yet?

-No, not yet. -Oh, OK, perfect.

I want her to pop into hair and make up with me quickly, yeah.

We are actually in the middle of something at the moment.

-Is she auditioning for the same part? -Yes, she is.

-I don't think she's right. -OK, right.

-[they laugh] -If you wanna take a seat, Angel is next.

Angel! [she claps]

Team talk, come on.

So I'm Angel's "mumager" now, which basically means

I'm her manager but I'm also still her mum as well.

Nervous, why? But you're the best one here, you know that.

My hopes and dreams with Angel are that she becomes really successful,

makes loads of money and we can just live in LA in a big mansion,

and just sort of watch her rise to fame.

-Hey! -Hey, how you doing?

-Just came to check up on you. -Yeah, good, man. Just got the old technique down.

-Nice. -And that just goes straight on, quite easy.

No, sorry, you've got the wrong price. That needs to be 3.99.

Oh? Well, I mean, it's, it's just...

-Have you done that with all of them? -Yeah.

Sorry, you've got to do them all again, Charlie.

I don't know if you know this, yeah, but all foreign people,

we all have a British white name.

So at work, you can call me Charlie, know what I mean?

[posh accent] Hello, Charlie.

Obviously, you're the manager, all due respect, Samidul...

-Sam. -It's Sammy, right?

No, sorry, it's Sam, just Sam.

Oh, Jussam. You're Armenian?

No, "just" Sam. Just Sam. Just Sam.

It's just my name.

[Grindah] Right, boys, time to put an end to Kold FM once and for all.

Muffle your voice, yeah?

Yeah, I know. I'm gonna do the hostage voice.

Yeah, hello, Kold FM.

[gruff voice] Listen up and listen up very carefully.

If you ever wanna see your dog ever again,

then meet us at the Rose Italia at sunrise.

-And when you get there... -That's about 5:00am.

Actually, meet at the Rose Italia at sunset,

tonight, otherwise we'll have to look after your dog for way too long.

So be there - the Rose Italia, sunset and...

Let's say 6:00pm, to be on the safe side,

otherwise it might not be clear what time sunset is.

The Rose Italia, 6:00pm.

Looks like we're having an old-fashioned sit-down, boys.

-Standard. -Stevie...

Book us a table at the Rose Italia.

Just pass it on.

Take the dog into the other room. I don't trust it.

-Keeps staring at me. -Sniff, come on.

[Steves] I've called him Sniff cos he sniffs everything.

We're quite similar in that way.

I've had to hide a lot of the wraps and everything

that I had in the station, cos...

he probably doesn't have my sort of tolerance when it comes to drugs.

Right. You gonna be good, yeah?

You're gonna wait here for a second. I'm gonna make a little cheeky phone call.

[teacher] OK, Angel, do you know which song you're singing?

-Do you know which song you're doing? -Er...yes.

-OK, tell them. -"Amazing Grace".

[Miche] Perfect, brilliant. Thank you very much, Angel.

Remember everything we're practised and take it away.

[piano plays]

♪ Amazing Grace ♪

♪ How sweet the... ♪

Sorry, can we not have the piano, please? It's not...

-It's horrible, yeah. -No...

-She loves a cappella, anyway. -No, no, the piano's fine.

We're used to the backing track, which is more professional.

It's fine, isn't it? You can do a cappella?

Why don't we try one without? And then we can always go back again for the third go.

Erm, we do actually have other kids...

-They love it, don't they? They're really enjoying it. -OK, one more time.

Just go for it, go for it a cappella.

♪ Amazing Grace How sweet... ♪

[director] Is it important that Angel's famous?

Yeah. Angel has to be famous cos I'm not really sure what else she could do.

Cos she's sort of quite average at school.

And I want her to be famous for her and for us as well.

So, yeah, it's for the family, really. And for me.

♪ Was blind ♪

♪ But now I see ♪

[Miche] Amazing!

Really good, yeah. OK. And then for our next trick.

A little bit of street dance, just to give you all a little flavour of what else she can do.

If you've got any big stadium stuff coming up.

[tune plays on mobile phone]

Sammy might not know this, yeah, but I was actually born on a shop floor.

I should be out there and he's got me in a bloody cupboard, mate.

I'm a selling machine. Not everyone is.

It is kill or be killed out there, mate. It's ruthless.

You know what I mean? It's survival of the fittest.

Me, I compare myself to an alpha male lion.

And you have to look for the weakest prey, the vulnerable.

Imagine a little injured gazelle with her little shit leg, just dangling.

"Oh, I can't run! I can't run!" It's the jungle, mate.

Too bad, mate. You know what I mean? You're my dinner now, mate.

Hey, there, mate. My name's Charlie. I'm the sales rep. If you need any help, let me know.

-Cos I can help you with any kind of specification. -I'd like to buy this laptop.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

OK. Well, thanks for coming.

-Thank you so much. -OK... OK, thanks.

We will see you tomorrow, Angel, OK?

I just wanted to give you a little FYI.

The lighting on the stage is quite unflattering, so you know,

obviously, on the big night, that'll probably be sorted out, will it?

OK, yes. Duly noted, but thank you so much for coming.

-Angel, we'll see you tomorrow. -Just give you Angel's business card.

-Yeah, OK. -And we look forward to hearing from you.

OK, great. Thanks. We will let you know.

OK. Thank you, Angel, and I will see you tomorrow.

Great. Sooner rather than later will be better with the dates...

Fine. If you just wanna make your way out through there.

-Bye, class, great to see you. Thanks so much for your time. -Bye!

Right then, Ange, got a lot of practice to do, haven't you,

if you wanna make it? Come on, let's go.

Er, yeah, there's, like...three...six of us

and then I don't know how many of them.

-We're having a sort of sit-down with a rival station... -Why are you...?

-There's a dog involved. -Don't tell them everything, Jesus!

Hello, mate. Sorry about that. Erm...

Yeah, no, we're gonna need a table for around 12 at six o'clock.

-And a dog. -Yeah, nothing weird, just two...two spag bol and that.

-Nice one, Pepe. Bye. -Beats, why did you say 12?

How many do you reckon there's gonna be of 'em?

Good to have extra chairs, innit?

No, cos you lot are all gonna be standing while I sit there.

You know, arms folded and that, like, sort of power play sort of shit.

Well, I ain't gonna stand if there's 12 chairs.

-I'll stand. -OK, well, let's decide what we're doing now.

Cos this is a dangerous game we're playing here, yeah? This is life or death.

-Life. -What?

No, it's not a question, Steves. It's just a saying.

We just need to sort this shit out.

Listen, if you're worried about getting stabbed, Roche's got a stab-proof vest...

No one's getting stabbed, Beats, and no one's wearing a stab-proof vest.

I'm gonna go home after this and see them one last time,

-so I'll pick it up for you. -What do you mean, "one last time"?

Stop putting shit in my... Tell 'em it's...

I don't know what the bros are like.

You're meant to be the rational one, Decoy.

Decoy, tell me I'm not getting stabbed!

You'll be all right, hopefully.

-Hopefully, what? -Boys...

I'm gonna go. Before we meet, yeah?

Yeah, I'm just gonna... I need to chat to you outside.

I'm not scared of Kold FM. Why do you keep saying I'm scared of Kold FM?

Don't constantly put that in there and say that, yeah,

cos man ain't scared of, like, Kold FM at all, like.

You lot keep back here. You're bating me out.

I'm just trying to sort it out. That's all I'm trying to do.

I'm just a man at it, that's all I am, do you know what I mean?

The man is definitely not scared.

[Angel sings "Amazing Grace"]

Right. OK. That's a good start.

Do you want me to give you any notes or do you wanna do it on the next one?

-I want some notes. -OK. I think the big issue is your singing isn't very good.

I think that's the one thing we really need to work on here.

Cos otherwise we're not gonna get anywhere with this career, are we?

Can I ask you a question, would you pay to see someone sing who can't sing?

Sorry? No. Exactly, so...

-Do you wanna just do it again? -Yeah.

OK, and in your head, you just need to think,

"I'm a really good singer," as you sing.

Although I haven't had fame myself, I could've done if I'd had me when I was younger,

pushing me in the way that I'm pushing Angel.

If she would just believe what I'm telling her, then she'd be able to do it.

-How can you make that better? -D-flat?

D...? What's that? Is that a musical thing?

-So do you wish your mum had pushed you into fame? -Yeah.

If my mum wasn't so bothered about just sort of marrying everyone

and actually spend a bit more time sort of pushing me

to do some singing or ballet or whatever, then, yeah,

I could be on the stage right now.

-[knock on door] -Right, that's not great timing but just keep practising.

-Hi, you all right? -I need to talk to Angel.

OK.

-Angel. -Yeah?

-Roche. -Yeah?

Do you know where, erm,

-the stab-proof vest is? -Why?

I just wanna show it to Grindah.

-It's in one of them boxes on top of the wardrobe. -Cool.

Don't forget you're looking after Robin tonight.

-What? Isn't Craig about? -No, he's out with his girlfriend.

She loves it, to be fair.

Grindah says they were going flat out the other night.

-Didn't they realise that he was on the top bunk? -No.

Apparently, condensation was dripping off the ceiling.

-Oh, God! -Yeah.

Tried to sleep through it but he couldn't.

Ended up going out with him for a fag after Craig had finished up.

Lovely.

-Cool, where was it? Upstairs? -Yeah, upstairs, on top of the wardrobe.

Maybe you empty out the boxes while you're at it.

[director] Where did the stab-proof vest come from?

[Roche] Stab-proof vest came from when I used to do nightclubs but I had to stop.

-Cos of the baby? -Nah, nah, I got done for GBH a few years back

and banned from all late-night venues across the UK.

He should have remembered his fucking ID.

He should be banned, not me.

Boys!

It's official.

No one's getting stabbed.

Take a seat.

All right. I've got something important to tell you.

I've never shown you this before, but this is daddy's gold microphone.

And I want you to look after it. Be careful. Hold it.

And if anything happens to me today,

I want you to always remember that Daddy stood up for what he believes in.

MC-ing?

Sort of. More pirate radio.

But the point is, your daddy is a soldier. OK?

-OK. -Why are you giving her your mic?

The truth of it is that Angel might have to

take over where her daddy left off, innit?

What? What do you mean?

I need to talk to you as well.

I've been thinking about my life a lot recently, these last few hours,

and I need to tell you something before it's too late.

-OK. -I want us to get back together.

Cos I actually do love you and that, and it's just stupid, innit?

-You've never said that before. -Well, yes, I probably have.

-No, whenever I say it, you just say good. -That's still a positive.

When you're life's at risk, yeah, it makes you think differently.

Especially if you're involved in the street shit...

that I'm into, do you know what I mean, like?

Where we're from, every day you gotta stare death in the face.

And tell him to fuck off.

Look, if I make it back then maybe let's get married, then, like.

Do you know what? Miche, will you marry me?

Well, I don't know. You know, it's quite...

-I need a bit of time to think about it all. -Sure.

This has been a mental day, you know, with Angel's audition and everything.

-She wasn't really on top form, so I just need a bit of time. -You are so right.

Of course it's a tough decision.

I'm just about to go off and serve in a radio war. You're right.

-OK. -Just don't forget me, yeah?

And look after each other.

-[he sighs] -[Miche] Yes!

What?

Yeah?

-Course I wanna marry you. -Sick!

But... I mean, I ain't got no rings or anything, cos I thought of it in there.

No, that doesn't matter cos I've still got one from before, so yeah, I'll wear that now.

-Ah, innit sweet? -Well, good luck in your radio thingy.

-Cool, man. In a bit. Sweet! -All right.

-See you boys in a bit, yeah? -Bye!

Yes!!!

More like an investment, cos you're always gonna need a printer, aren't you?

That's right in my line of work.

There's the kind of the premium range, which...

Psst! Psst!

Oi, you all right?

-Sorry, you talking to me? -Yeah. Charlie, part of the sales team.

I can do you a really good price on that, if you want.

Special offer. Erm...

£189.99.

-That's just what it says on the tag. -OK.

I can see that you're a very shrewd businesswoman, just like myself.

So I'll tell you what,

I'll throw in something extra, yeah, just give me... Wait, wait there.

OK.

I'll give you these headphones for free if you buy it now.

-What? -I'll throw them in for free.

-Sorry, sorry. -Er, yeah, deal.

-He's new. We can't do that deal. I'm really sorry. -What?

Charlie, you know you're not supposed to be making sales.

No, I know, but we shook... I've shaken her hand, I can't unshake it.

-Can we just...? Thanks. -Sorry.

Is there any way I can help you at all.

Er, no, no, you're all right, thanks.

-That was unacceptable, OK? -I had it in the bag, man.

No, I told you, you are not a salesman.

Go back to the stockroom and do what I told you to do.

I don't know what he's laughing about.

Why is he allowed on the shop floor?

"Mark".

-If that is your real name. -OK, I think you should...

Get back to work, forget all about this.

His name's Malik. I saw it on his passport the other day.

-It's not. -No.

He's got a fake bloody ID. You got him on the shop floor.

-You should get Charlie on the shop floor, mate. -OK, chin up, get on with it.

I'm on to you, Malik!

[waiter] Here's your lasagne, sir.

-Is it all right to sit down just until they get here, or...? -No, Steves.

No, it's going down a bit weird.

-Nervous a bit? -Quite an intensive situation. I'm not nervous.

Just excited about it all. It's about to go sick.

When I'm nervous I get these weird little cat shits.

-Yeah, don't talk about... I'm eating. -Do it.

How is it? Is it all right?

Does it, like, feel weird and all that?

-Does what feel weird? -Well, the vest, innit?

I'm not wearing a vest, Decoy.

Ah, shit!

-What? -They're here.

Just shut up, shut up, stop freaking me out.

Everyone straighten your backs, look raw, look hard.

-Why are there cameras here? -[gruff] Don't worry about it.

What you doing the voice for? Don't worry about the cameras.

They're filming us. We'll blur your faces out.

We're doing a documentary on Kurupt FM, cos we're the baddest station in West London.

-[Beats] Exactly. -Where's the dog?

-[Grindah] Take a seat. -[Beats] Take a seat first.

Espresso.

First of all, we need to talk about your little graffiti project.

-Yeah, what about it? -Why did you write that on our station?

-Cos you called the police on us. -We would never do that.

Yeah, we would never ever do that!

Exactly. Dunno about you boys, yeah,

but in our game, we've got a thing called a code.

No chicks on radio. Pay your subs on time.

-Standard. -And no snitching. We'd never let a snitch in our circle.

Yeah, we'd never do that.

Milk.

In a sit-down, yeah, it's all about the power play.

You've gotta let that other person know that they're beneath you at every moment.

Even something as little as a handshake can show 'em that you mean business

and you ain't a joke out here.

Cos man ain't a joke, right, remember that.

-Hey, knock, knock. -Hey, man, how's it going?

Good. How's it going with you? You're channelling your inner octopus?

-Yeah! -Cos after that I've got a couple more boxes for you to do.

-Oh, OK, yeah. -Yeah.

OK.

No problem, "boss".

-[Sam] You talking to me? -Yeah, yeah, sorry.

-No, no problem at all. -Yeah.

Sam's all right. I mean, listen. He's a bit of a kind of a warrior.

He thinks he'd got his way with me. He thinks he can control me.

But no one can control Chabuddy. I do my own thing when I want to.

I'm the boss of me. You know what I mean?

I don't run by anyone's rules.

I'll do what I want, mate. I'm a free spirit, you know?

-Charlie? -Yes? Yes, boss?

-Your lunch break's over. -Yeah, no worries. I'll...

Sorry. Yeah. Sorry, boss. I was just...

Does anybody else want a little coffee or anything while I'm...

-Quiet, Steves. -Only I get a coffee, Steves, you know the rules.

-I wouldn't mind a tea. -Shut up, no one's getting a tea. What's the...?

-Sorry. -Right. This is getting out of hand.

I've got a wife at home that's missing her dog.

-Yeah, I'm got family as well, see? -Same.

I gave my gold mic away to them today

-and said that I'm ready to die tonight. -What?

Why would you...? Why don't you just give me back the dog, yeah?

First, you gotta change your frequency.

108.6 is just way too close to 108.9.

Change it or the dog gets it.

What about 108.3?

107.5.

108.0.

Phew, you drive a tough bargain, my friend.

107.9.

Anything under 108.0 and we've got a deal.

What's wrong with you? I've just said 107.9, that's underneath what you said.

OK, then, deal. We've got a deal, deal.

-Where's the dog. -Steves, go and get the dog.

Alive?

-Just get it. -Yeah, alive.

[sniffs deeply]

[sniffs deeply]

-Ah, Jesus Christ! Is it...? -Yeah.

-Have you changed her yet? -No.

-Go and do it. -OK.

-Fantasy. -Yeah.

Can you bring the bag, please? It's a two-man job.

-Oh, Mum! -All right?

-Come here. -I got the Prosecco.

Oh, thank you. Oh, lovely and fizzy.

-What is it? You look happy. -You should guess, Mum. Go on, guess it.

-You're not gonna believe it. -What, what, what?

-Did Angel get the part? -No, better than that.

Oh. Come on then, what is it? I ain't got a crystal ball.

-Ta-dah! -Oh!

That is nice, babe. Where d'you get that?

-Well, Grindah. The wedding's back on. -What?!

I thought I set you up with that hairdresser bloke, Matias?

-He said you keep texting him. -Like when I was drunk, I sent him some stuff and it wasn't...

Mum, it doesn't matter. Me and Grindah are meant to be together.

-We're a fairytale romance. -Really?

Well, I guess that does make the Matias situation a little less complicated.

-Oh, OK. -Get some glasses?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-How's everything going? Is it all right? -Good, thank you.

-You can't bring that in here, mate. -Pepe, back off!

If you mess this up, people are gonna get hurt.

-See you later, Sniff. Take care of yourself. -Just let go.

-You're a good dog. -Just leave him now, yeah? Just leave him.

-Get off him. Can you just move? -I'll miss you.

-Just get off him, bruv. -Come and see me any time.

He's not gonna come and visit you.

-We all good there? -Yeah, we're done.

-All right. -All right.

Deal.

Just remember.

Kurupt FM-ing it, the rest are irrelevant.

-Just back out, back out. -Do what?

K is Kurupt FM.

-We spell it with a K as well. -Don't...

Just get out.

Spell it with a K? What's that? It's like a three.

He didn't use the thumb, he just did that.

I saw what he did, but he's... Just get out. Come out the way.

Come on. Hurry up, Decoy!

Having a friend like Grindah, it's always a good thing,

cos you always want to have hard men around you, do you know what I mean?

-We did it! We did it! -We won.

We're all heavy boys...

and, you know, hanging around with Grindah makes me hard.

-Hi, hi, mate. -Hey.

-You all right? -Yeah, you, you left your badge.

-Sorry. Yeah, cheers, just... -Cool.

I was thinking I wanted to get it all up on the walls, so you can get a sense of it all.

-Blinding. -Yeah, great.

-You gonna have an horse? -A pony.

Pony.

You've been leaving your van here overnight?

Sorry, I'll move it. I'm just really busy at the moment, so...

Yeah, listen, erm... If you, you know, need extra cash,

I can sort you out some extra hours. You know, it shouldn't be a problem?

-Is that all right, cos... -Yeah. Yeah.

-Thank you so much, Sammy. -It's just Sam.

-Oh, thank you, Sam. Sorry. -Yeah.

-I killed it, innit? -This is a music game, know what I mean?

-It's a game. -Yeah.

Don't play it if you're scared, cos you'll only lose.

-Yeah. -So you never get scared then?

I can't get scared, you know what I mean?

I come through the darkness and man ain't scared of the dark.

-Why? Cos I keep the door ajar. -Cheese.

Hoo-hoo! Kurupt FM-ing it, the rest are irrelevant!

This ain't for Kold FM. This is Kurupt FM. Oi-oi!

-[Robyn cries] -Don't, don't shout, cos...

Sorry, sorry.