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00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,710
and hopefully this video's going to
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00:00:08,710 --> 00:00:12,350
make you feel increasingly
comfortable about it, so... Enjoy.
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00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:16,990
Get off to a good start
with these tips on positioning.
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00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:20,830
Correct positioning and attachment
will prevent damage to the nipples.
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00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:23,910
You'll get better and better
at following his cues.
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00:00:23,910 --> 00:00:26,230
He may want both breasts
at a time... Tit! Tit!
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00:00:26,230 --> 00:00:28,670
You can offer the second
when it's appropriate.
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00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:29,830
Shhh, shhh, shhh.
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00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,230
Your nipple should be opposite
your baby's nose...
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00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:34,190
It's like the end of a Pepperami.
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00:00:34,190 --> 00:00:35,310
THEY LAUGH
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00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:37,110
Right, you are this close.
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00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:42,510
Darren is my new, very, very good
mate that I met at dad classes.
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00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:46,670
It's going pretty well. I actually
feel like there's something there,
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00:00:46,670 --> 00:00:49,350
do you know what I mean?
We're just going to take it slow
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00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:52,310
and see what happens, really,
but, yeah, really good.
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00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:53,670
We've got a Dazzler.
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00:00:57,430 --> 00:00:59,910
Do you understand?
Do you understand, Darren?
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00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,310
Yep.
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00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:05,470
Tickle her lips with the end
of your nipple.
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00:01:05,470 --> 00:01:06,710
THEY LAUGH
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00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,870
Wait until the baby's mouth
is wide open, then...
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00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,910
I love tits.
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00:01:11,910 --> 00:01:13,830
All right, that's it. What?
25
00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:16,270
I didn't even want to come here
in the first place.
26
00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:17,710
This was for you, not for me.
27
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:18,990
Hang on.
28
00:01:19,990 --> 00:01:21,350
What?
29
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,710
Angel, door!
30
00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:38,390
Hello. Hello, you must be Angel.
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00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:42,070
Yeah. You ready?
This is Becky, by the way.
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00:01:42,070 --> 00:01:43,790
Hi, nice to meet you.
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00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:46,630
Yep. One sec, Decoy.
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00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:48,790
Mummy? Yes? Decoy loves her.
35
00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:49,950
Ssshhhh, shut up.
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00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:52,950
MICHE: He doesn't, they've only just
started seeing each other.
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00:01:52,950 --> 00:01:54,550
It's nothing serious, so it's...
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00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:56,630
Right, I'm off.
See you in a bit, yeah?
39
00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:59,150
Come on, let's go.
Say bye to Daddy.
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00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:01,390
See ya. So, are you a loving family?
41
00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:03,190
Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
42
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,790
We always tell each other
that we love each other, don't we?
43
00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:07,430
I love a lot of things, like.
44
00:02:07,430 --> 00:02:09,310
I love radio,
45
00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:11,070
food and that...
46
00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:12,630
Yeah, yeah.
47
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,470
Uh, actually... Aw.
Sorry, I forgot...
48
00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:20,510
Maybe just don't take it out
of the wedding fund.
49
00:02:20,510 --> 00:02:22,110
No, it's fine, I need it for zoots.
50
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:24,470
I'll put back whatever change
I have later, yeah?
51
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:26,070
See you later.
52
00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:29,150
What do you think life will
be like when you're married?
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00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,470
It's going to be amazing,
isn't it? Yeah.
54
00:02:31,470 --> 00:02:34,670
It's going to be such a big change.
We'll be set for life, won't we?
55
00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:43,150
It's proper chapping, innit?
56
00:02:43,150 --> 00:02:44,710
I'm freezing.
57
00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:03,870
Miche is doing my nut in, man.
58
00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:05,430
Why, what's up?
59
00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:08,270
Just all the wedding shit, innit?
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00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:11,190
Getting married and that, like.
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00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:13,190
That's sick though, right?
62
00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:14,510
Not really. No?
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00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:16,710
I should take a leaf
out of your book.
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00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:18,950
Get a younger team. Yeah.
65
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:20,510
You got a sister?
66
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:21,870
No. Oh.
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00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:27,270
Steves'.
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00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:36,110
Steves'.
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00:03:36,110 --> 00:03:40,270
SINGS: Na, na, na, na-na-na-na.
Na, na, na, na-na-na.
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00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:43,510
There he is, my favourite grandson.
How you doing?
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00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:46,150
I'm her only grandson,
so I win by default.
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00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:51,070
I wanted to come and present you
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00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:53,630
with AKA ten pounds.
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00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:56,030
Oh, what's it for?
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00:03:56,030 --> 00:03:58,270
For the goody bag you gave me
the other day.
76
00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:01,070
Cos I've got a job now, so I'm going
to start paying you.
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00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:02,550
How's the new job?
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00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:05,590
It's all right, yeah. It's sort
of my dream job in a way.
79
00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:09,030
If it was, like,
quite a boring dream. Oh.
80
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:12,310
You have it. You sure?
You might find it'll come in useful.
81
00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:15,910
I feel like you should have it.
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00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:18,030
I'll have the tenner
if no-one wants it.
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00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:19,630
Shut up, Peter.
84
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:23,070
All right.
85
00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:32,630
See you later.
86
00:04:32,630 --> 00:04:34,070
Yeah. See ya.
87
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:35,790
Oh, thank you. It's all right.
88
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:40,470
Do you want me to cook
tonight for you?
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00:04:40,470 --> 00:04:43,590
Yeah... Bruv? Hurry up, cos we're
already late to Radio.
90
00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:47,030
All right. I'll see you tonight,
yeah? Yeah. Ugh.
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00:04:48,590 --> 00:04:49,990
Hurry up.
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00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:56,430
HORN BEEPS
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00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:58,710
Decoy! Fucking hurry up, mate!
94
00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:00,790
All right, coming, coming, coming.
95
00:05:01,870 --> 00:05:03,870
See you later. See you later!
96
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:07,990
What's up, man? Fucking hell.
"What's up, man, fucking hell?"
97
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,310
Just fucking drive, mate.
98
00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:23,630
OK, are you excited?
99
00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:25,630
Let's get ready. She's coming.
100
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:26,790
She's coming.
101
00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:29,790
Any minute.
102
00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:31,870
One, two... It's your baby...
103
00:05:31,870 --> 00:05:33,430
Sorry, Miche, hold on.
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00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:38,030
BOTH: It's your baby shower.
105
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:40,910
Yay, let's not call it a baby
shower, eh, Miche?
106
00:05:40,910 --> 00:05:44,270
We got you a sash. Oh, so you did.
Where's Craig? Honestly...
107
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:52,350
OK. Craig's just through there,
love. Thanks. Baby mumma.
108
00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:56,590
A few baby bits here as well, so...
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00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,430
Oh! No big deal.
110
00:05:58,430 --> 00:06:00,470
Exciting.
111
00:06:00,470 --> 00:06:02,990
Hello, Craig.
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00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:05,470
Hi. Are you excited about
the baby shower?
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00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:07,550
Yeah(!) Do you think Beats
and Roche,
114
00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,630
do you think they make a good
couple?
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00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:12,150
Yeah, they do, you know,
they're having a baby together.
116
00:06:12,150 --> 00:06:14,110
It's a really exciting time
for them.
117
00:06:14,110 --> 00:06:15,830
They're a strong united front.
118
00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:18,390
Yeah. Oh, thank you for these.
119
00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:20,110
Hoodie.
120
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:22,550
Simple. I love pink.
121
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,390
Gold boots. Little booties,
can't beat them.
122
00:06:25,390 --> 00:06:27,470
It's an exciting time for them,
you know.
123
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,710
They're just going to all grow
together and...
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00:06:29,710 --> 00:06:31,790
Obviously they've got Craig
there already,
125
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:33,830
so it's a beautiful
family unit that,
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00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:35,590
you know, we all wish we could have.
127
00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:39,390
So...
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00:06:39,390 --> 00:06:40,870
How is Bump?
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00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,310
Well, it's... It's a baby.
130
00:06:43,310 --> 00:06:44,830
Hello, Bump.
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00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:47,230
Oh, let's... Nice and warm.
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00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:59,990
New developments in the champagne
steam bar world.
133
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:02,670
Drumroll, please.
134
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:05,710
O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!
135
00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:07,910
Champagne steam bar?
136
00:07:07,910 --> 00:07:10,550
Yeah, we know that. And kitchen!
137
00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:12,510
Come on!
138
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:14,710
My empire is constantly expanding,
you know,
139
00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:17,070
I mean first of all I had
the internet cafe, yeah?
140
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,630
Then I had my own nightclub,
then I had my own bar,
141
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:22,230
and now I'm throwing a restaurant
into the mix.
142
00:07:22,230 --> 00:07:26,150
And I'm saving money by having it
all in the same industrial estate.
143
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:28,790
What happened to those colour-coded
chopping boards
144
00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:31,390
that I asked you for?
Hmmm, OK. They're on the way.
145
00:07:31,390 --> 00:07:34,110
I'm just waiting for the paint
to dry.
146
00:07:34,110 --> 00:07:37,950
That's just a joke. How's your new
kitchen assistant doing?
147
00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:39,910
Oh, he's doing really good.
148
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,030
All right. Stevie.
149
00:07:42,030 --> 00:07:45,430
Yeah, Steve, just use this and keep
your sleeves clean.
150
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:47,110
What's that? It's a tea towel.
151
00:07:48,110 --> 00:07:51,390
Tiny towel. You know,
it's like The Apprentice.
152
00:07:51,390 --> 00:07:54,630
You know, I'm Alan Brown Sugar,
so these are my apprentices,
153
00:07:54,630 --> 00:07:57,670
and I have to put them through
tasks and challenges, you know.
154
00:07:57,670 --> 00:08:00,190
"Can you work on less
than minimum wage?"
155
00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:03,590
"Can you work in conditions
that probably will be inhumane?"
156
00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:05,590
Get back to work!
157
00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:09,950
You know? These are challenges,
this is Apprentice, you know?
158
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:13,470
And then, if you're lucky enough,
"You're hired."
159
00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:16,150
Seen these as well? Tiny cups.
160
00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:22,670
Is he joking? Don't worry.
He's very cheap.
161
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:27,630
That is sick.
162
00:08:28,950 --> 00:08:30,470
That is... With an axe.
163
00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:34,670
So what, mate? I shouldn't be having
to call shotgun.
164
00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:37,470
It's my radio station,
I'm your employer, end of.
165
00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:40,510
Yeah, but I pay you, though.
To be at MY station!
166
00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:43,430
So, the point is she shouldn't be
sitting in the front seat.
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00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:46,350
It's my seat. Innit, Beats?
Yeah, that's Grindah's chair,
168
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:49,110
he's got the lumbar support
exactly how he likes it.
169
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:50,590
No, not the... In his car.
170
00:08:51,710 --> 00:08:55,670
Oh, sorry, man. Darren just sent
over these jokes pranking videos.
171
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:57,470
Great, pranking's MY thing.
172
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,070
Fuck's sake. Darren's really
into it as well.
173
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:01,670
I think you'd really like him.
174
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:04,550
Ooh, no, I wouldn't. I don't like
anyone, and nor should you.
175
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:07,150
End of. What do you think of Beats
getting new friends?
176
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,910
I ain't here to tell Beats who he
can and can't be mates with,
177
00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:11,390
do you know what I mean, like?
178
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:13,070
It's his life, let him do
what he wants.
179
00:09:13,070 --> 00:09:15,430
But don't come running back to me
when it all goes wrong,
180
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,710
do you know what I mean,
181
00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:19,030
cos man ain't going to be
there in the end.
182
00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:20,670
No, actually, I am going to be there
183
00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:23,430
to make sure I see his face
when I have a go at him when he's
184
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,190
learnt his lesson.
185
00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,990
Don't need new friends when you've
got a real friend like me.
186
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:32,830
Is that a new phone?
187
00:09:32,830 --> 00:09:35,670
Where did you get the P for that?
Nah, Darren gave it to me.
188
00:09:35,670 --> 00:09:39,350
He had a spare one, so... What?!
Yeah, yeah. He said I could have it.
189
00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:40,910
He just gave it...?
190
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,310
Do you know what? I just thought -
there's a new rule.
191
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,030
No phones at Radio.
192
00:09:49,030 --> 00:09:51,550
You want to talk to your weird
little mates and that,
193
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,950
then do it on your own time,
go out and speak to them,
194
00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:57,510
or your little girlfriends and that.
No phones. Put your phones away.
195
00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:59,430
No phones.
196
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,670
Yeah, but the battery lasts
about two hours, so...
197
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,270
Yeah, but you can go on YouTube.
198
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:09,590
Well, on my Nokia the battery
lasts three days.
199
00:10:09,590 --> 00:10:12,190
Yeah, it's sick though.
No, not really.
200
00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:16,590
That's going to table number seven.
201
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:18,910
That one's going to table number
five, OK?
202
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:22,150
Is everything meeting your
expectations?
203
00:10:22,150 --> 00:10:24,550
Thank you.
204
00:10:24,550 --> 00:10:26,630
Still a bit of meat on that.
205
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:28,630
I'm enjoying the perks
of the new job,
206
00:10:28,630 --> 00:10:31,310
tenner a day and access to food.
207
00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:34,950
Free food...that hasn't
been eaten yet.
208
00:10:35,950 --> 00:10:37,470
Waste not want not.
209
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,030
If some of it has,
then I'll just eat the rest of it.
210
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,710
So, old food?
211
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:44,630
Not old, but very much
second-hand food.
212
00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:51,590
OK, today we have the gourmet
peri peri chicken, £6.
213
00:10:51,590 --> 00:10:53,710
Gourmet hot wings, £6.50.
214
00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:57,550
And we also have my favourite,
the avant garde avocado.
215
00:10:57,550 --> 00:11:01,030
The main challenge of running
a restaurant is the menu.
216
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:04,670
People don't want to just walk in
and eat shit off a plate, yeah?
217
00:11:04,670 --> 00:11:06,990
Give it a stupid name
and they eat it.
218
00:11:06,990 --> 00:11:09,870
"This is a Barcelona burger
from Barcelona."
219
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,710
You even put the lisp in
the Barcelona. Barcelona.
220
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,190
Stupid bastards.
Do you know what I mean?
221
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,830
So, how's the wedding
planning going?
222
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:25,110
God, has everyone been
talking about it?
223
00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:27,510
No, it's just you sent me
a text invitation.
224
00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:31,270
Yeah, and I'm barely sleeping from
worrying about it all, so...
225
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:34,070
As long as Grindah's pulling his
weight.
226
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:36,110
Yeah. Where's Craig?
227
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,310
Craig! Craig!
228
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:44,670
To be honest, I just thought,
I mean,
229
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:47,430
we would've been a bit more
excited about it all.
230
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:53,630
But if anything, it feels like he
avoids me quite a lot now.
231
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,230
Well, that's no good.
232
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:56,990
Oh, don't cry, Miche, don't.
233
00:11:56,990 --> 00:11:59,390
SHE CRIES
234
00:11:59,390 --> 00:12:02,710
I'm sorry. Don't apologise.
235
00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:05,510
I just feel like I'm living a lie.
236
00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:08,870
Like, what if he's not the perfect
man that I think he is?
237
00:12:10,670 --> 00:12:11,870
Oh, no...
238
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:18,110
He's, um... Everyone thinks
he's a dream man.
239
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:21,910
He's probably really nice
when you get to know him.
240
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:27,350
Who's there? Dickhead who?
241
00:12:23,870 --> 00:12:27,350
HE LAUGHS
242
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:29,190
What, you saying I'm a dickhead?
243
00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:31,390
Fucking Darren, mate.
244
00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:35,070
You're mental, Darren, mate.
245
00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:37,190
Yeah. We should go on holiday.
246
00:12:38,470 --> 00:12:40,030
Beats.
247
00:12:40,030 --> 00:12:43,470
Oh, I better go. All right, mate,
yeah, I'll see you tonight, yeah?
248
00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:46,310
HE LAUGHS
249
00:12:46,310 --> 00:12:48,590
Stop now, mate. Speak to you later.
250
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:51,950
Yeah, you should've told him you're
at Radio.
251
00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:54,510
What do you mean tonight?
What if I wanted to do something?
252
00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:57,910
Darren said you could come down the
pub as well, he wants to meet you.
253
00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:59,630
No, I'm busy, actually.
254
00:13:03,590 --> 00:13:05,790
Nah, I don't get jealous.
255
00:13:05,790 --> 00:13:08,150
Like, Beats can do what he wants,
it's not...
256
00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:11,110
It's his life, innit?
I've given you an opportunity
257
00:13:11,110 --> 00:13:14,470
and you're running away with, like,
different men and that, yeah?
258
00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:16,110
Do your thing.
259
00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:18,190
You up for doing something later?
260
00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:20,550
Nah, I'm just going to have
an early one tonight.
261
00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,910
Yeah. Fantasy, what about you?
262
00:13:22,910 --> 00:13:25,270
I can't, man.
I've got cinema tickets.
263
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:27,670
Cinema? I don't even go
to the cinema any more.
264
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:29,470
It's like 14 quid a ticket.
265
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,430
Tia. Yeah? My nan just came in.
266
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:47,070
Nan! No way.
267
00:13:47,070 --> 00:13:49,350
She just came in.
268
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,030
Nan!
269
00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,110
Yes. That is mad.
270
00:13:53,110 --> 00:13:55,350
I forget she can walk. Follow me.
271
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,830
Steves' nan.
272
00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:06,230
OK. Never mind,
just go over there...
273
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,990
Yes, Nan.
274
00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:09,550
You all right?
275
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:12,470
How you doing, brother? Oh, right.
276
00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:14,230
Handshake. Formal.
277
00:14:15,510 --> 00:14:17,270
Do you like this? Look at that.
278
00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,550
Very smart. Yeah. Yes.
279
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:21,670
Lovely. Yeah. Double-breasted.
280
00:14:28,110 --> 00:14:30,870
Yeah, the chicken. The piri piri.
281
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,470
And then, if you don't finish it,
don't worry.
282
00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:47,070
All right? Not really. Beats
is being a proper selfish prick.
283
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:49,990
Where's the money that you took
from the wedding fund?
284
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,390
Oh, yeah, no, I got that.
Here you go.
285
00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:02,150
Every little helps, innit?
There you go.
286
00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,630
That was nothing.
287
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:06,870
That's not enough, like, this whole
thing isn't enough.
288
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:11,150
Well, it's all right, chill out.
What's up with her?
289
00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:13,470
There you go. £2 coin, yeah?
290
00:15:13,470 --> 00:15:15,470
Bang. Happy? No, I'm not.
291
00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:17,990
Why not? Look, stop stressing
yourself out all the time,
292
00:15:17,990 --> 00:15:20,630
it's just a wedding, right.
Why you gotta be so intense?
293
00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,190
Do you even want to get married?
294
00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:24,790
Huh? Yeah, like, probably,
I dunno, like, just...
295
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:26,110
Well, yes or no?
296
00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:29,830
Yes, then. Like, can't we just do it
in a few years or whatever,
297
00:15:29,830 --> 00:15:32,990
when we've got more money and that,
like? There's no rush, is there?
298
00:15:32,990 --> 00:15:35,510
I knew it, you don't even want
to get married!
299
00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:38,550
I sent out all the invitations,
you're making me look stupid!
300
00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:40,510
Well, I didn't tell you
to send them out,
301
00:15:40,510 --> 00:15:42,990
so you're making yourself look
stupid if anything.
302
00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:45,990
Right, that's it. What's the point
in me doing all this wedding stuff?
303
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:47,950
Ssshhhh, shut up.
Why did you propose to me?
304
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:49,550
So do you ever argue with Miche?
305
00:15:49,550 --> 00:15:51,830
Nah, not really, cos, like,
me and Miche
306
00:15:51,830 --> 00:15:55,390
don't really get into arguments, cos
most of the time I'm right, and if
307
00:15:55,390 --> 00:15:58,390
I'm not, I'm sort of clever enough
not to admit that, so...
308
00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,270
Getting into an argument with me
is completely pointless.
309
00:16:01,270 --> 00:16:03,190
This is my house...
It's our house...
310
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:06,070
And I don't want you here!
Go! This isn't your house any more!
311
00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:08,110
Stop shouting in front of...
Fuck off!
312
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:10,910
Stop shouting constantly
in front of the camera.
313
00:16:11,990 --> 00:16:14,670
If you're looking for your Averix,
don't bother, cos I sold it.
314
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:21,670
Well, I'm even more glad, cos it
makes you look like a fat biker.
315
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:23,350
Don't EVER call me fat!
316
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,550
You know I used to have
weight issues.
317
00:16:42,470 --> 00:16:44,310
WHISPERS: Prick.
318
00:16:50,550 --> 00:16:53,590
These are on the house, as you are
our special guests today.
319
00:16:53,590 --> 00:16:56,830
Strong lager for you, mate, Pete,
yeah, lad.
320
00:16:56,830 --> 00:16:59,150
And, for you, the new cocktail
I designed
321
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:00,990
- it's called a micrococktail,
322
00:17:00,990 --> 00:17:02,590
OK? Packs a real punch.
323
00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:04,510
Size doesn't always matter.
324
00:17:04,510 --> 00:17:07,230
That's great. Sometimes the best
things are really tiny.
325
00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:09,310
I keep telling her that. Hey!
326
00:17:09,310 --> 00:17:12,430
Lad alert! Come on, we should hang.
327
00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:14,270
We should chill. How exciting.
328
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:16,070
All the best. Cheers.
329
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,950
'So, is your nan looking for love?'
330
00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:19,630
Is she looking for love?
331
00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:21,670
Romance? No, no, no, when you're...
332
00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:24,030
She's done all that, ages ago.
333
00:17:24,030 --> 00:17:26,470
Like, when you get to, like,
her age, you just...
334
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:29,950
Everything's just cool, like, you
just have your meals or whatever,
335
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:33,110
you don't do anything,
weird stuff like that.
336
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:34,790
Ooh!
337
00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:37,990
Does it have a kick?
I don't know what it is.
338
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:43,270
OK. You're very attractive when you
giggle like that, do you know that?
339
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:45,630
Don't be silly.
340
00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:07,230
Grindah! Grindah's here.
341
00:18:07,230 --> 00:18:09,550
You're gonna love him,
trust me, yeah.
342
00:18:09,550 --> 00:18:11,790
All right, mate? Grindah's here.
Oh, sweet.
343
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:14,710
Oh, you're going to love him. Yes,
mate, you all right, yeah?
344
00:18:19,070 --> 00:18:21,990
Yeah, Darren this is Grindah.
Hello, Darren, nice to meet you.
345
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:23,990
How you doing, you all right?
ALL: Yeah.
346
00:18:23,990 --> 00:18:26,710
What, you not drinking? You forgot
your ID or something, eh?
347
00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:28,150
THEY LAUGH
348
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,390
I'm so glad you lot finally met.
349
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:33,150
This is going to be one
of the best nights ever.
350
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:34,710
Innit? Yeah.
351
00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:39,270
And the avant garde avocado.
352
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:42,710
Bellisimi. Oh, thank you.
353
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:47,190
And the piri piri chicken. Muak.
354
00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:50,350
Tell you what, Steves' nan, best
worker in the game, this guy.
355
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:52,230
You should be proud. So good.
356
00:18:52,230 --> 00:18:54,350
I hope you're paying him
properly.
357
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:57,510
Well, that's something, you know,
employer confidential, we
358
00:18:57,510 --> 00:18:59,150
can't talk numbers. Tenner a day.
359
00:18:59,150 --> 00:19:00,790
Good God! Here, I'll report you!
360
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:03,030
No, no, it's not... A tenner a day?
361
00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:04,710
I pay you more than this.
362
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,910
I... It's always a tenner a day.
I'm not having that.
363
00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:08,910
No, no, I'm going to be having
strong words
364
00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:10,870
with the accountant tomorrow.
365
00:19:10,870 --> 00:19:14,190
Make sure you do. I will do it
now for you, madam.
366
00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:19,710
Enjoy the food.
367
00:19:25,510 --> 00:19:27,390
confirmed that you are
on the right wage.
368
00:19:27,390 --> 00:19:30,150
Oh. Thanks for checking, man.
No problem, mate.
369
00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:37,270
I'll get the next ones in then.
370
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:44,110
Same again? Yes, please, mate, yeah.
Hang on a sec, Kev, um... Yeah.
371
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:46,190
Sorry, what's the capital
of Thailand?
372
00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:47,870
I don't know, Singapore. No.
373
00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:50,470
Bangkok! Oh, that actually hurt.
374
00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,790
Game of fouls, right?
Good one, innit?
375
00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:54,790
No, cos I've heard that one before.
376
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:57,710
I would've said "Bangkok"
and blocked it straight away.
377
00:19:57,710 --> 00:20:02,070
Same again, yeah? Yes,
please, mate, yeah. Cool.
378
00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:05,390
Miche, tea's up, babe.
Oh, thanks, Mum.
379
00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:10,630
Thank you. Here you are.
Where are your bin bags?
380
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:12,830
No, I told you, we're not packing
his stuff up.
381
00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:15,670
This is your house, babe, you don't
want all these reminders,
382
00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:18,230
do you know what I mean? It'll make
the break-up even harder.
383
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:20,590
I told you, we're not breaking up.
We're just, you know,
384
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:22,510
we're taking some time out.
I hear you.
385
00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:24,790
Do you think Miche and Grindah
make a good couple?
386
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,390
Not really, darling, I just think
she could, you know,
387
00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:29,070
he's punching well above his weight.
388
00:20:29,070 --> 00:20:31,950
Well above his weight. And I just
think she's worth more than that,
389
00:20:31,950 --> 00:20:35,030
you know what I mean? She's my
princess, so I'm going to say that,
390
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,870
aren't I? But he is a tosser.
391
00:20:36,870 --> 00:20:38,990
I'll tell you that for nothing.
392
00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:40,710
I'll tell you what we'll do, yeah?
393
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:43,030
We'll just pack up his stuff
anyway, yeah?
394
00:20:43,030 --> 00:20:45,870
Pop it by the door, then if the
break-up were to go ahead,
395
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,990
God forbid, we'd be all ready.
No, Mum.
396
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:51,590
Put the bin bags down, Mum.
397
00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:53,670
Oh, there's the taxi.
398
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:56,070
Yep, let's open the door for you.
399
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:58,190
There we go. See you later.
400
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,590
Yeah. Will you be all right
getting back, yeah?
401
00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:02,070
Oh, I'll be fine.
402
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:03,870
Pete will look after me.
403
00:21:03,870 --> 00:21:05,870
Yes, you'll be well looked after.
404
00:21:05,870 --> 00:21:08,510
Let's get you back before
you start getting tired.
405
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:11,070
I've got plenty of energy left.
406
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,710
Oh...
407
00:21:12,710 --> 00:21:14,670
You doing something when
you get back?
408
00:21:14,670 --> 00:21:16,470
I certainly hope so.
409
00:21:16,470 --> 00:21:18,070
Yeah, yeah.
410
00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:19,950
Well, you lot have a good one.
411
00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:21,230
Perhaps more than one.
412
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:26,190
See you later, anyway. See ya.
413
00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:30,390
Bye, see ya. Bye, Steve.
See you later, bye.
414
00:21:35,110 --> 00:21:37,910
What do you think of him?
He's proper safe, innit?
415
00:21:37,910 --> 00:21:39,870
Like, on the level.
416
00:21:39,870 --> 00:21:43,590
Not on my level, mate.
Here you go, boys.
417
00:21:43,590 --> 00:21:46,790
Cheers, mate. No worries, man.
418
00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:48,950
There you go, pal.
419
00:21:48,950 --> 00:21:51,590
Right, boys. You see that barmaid?
420
00:21:51,590 --> 00:21:53,950
Proper salt, do you know
what I mean?
421
00:21:53,950 --> 00:21:56,870
Yeah. Do you know what would make
her look a lot better, though?
422
00:21:56,870 --> 00:21:58,630
Go on. My balls on her chin.
423
00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:00,590
THEY LAUGH
424
00:22:00,590 --> 00:22:03,190
The imagery, yeah, yeah.
Just fucking, like, balls...
425
00:22:03,190 --> 00:22:06,310
I was just going to say, are those
Huaraches? They're Huaraches, yes,
426
00:22:06,310 --> 00:22:08,430
mate, yeah. Yeah. Proper
comfortable, you know?
427
00:22:12,710 --> 00:22:15,190
like, then? Um, I dunno,
a bit of everything, really.
428
00:22:15,190 --> 00:22:17,790
Mainly sort of house, techno stuff,
really, yeah.
429
00:22:17,790 --> 00:22:21,190
House? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
What's your standpoint on garage?
430
00:22:21,190 --> 00:22:22,270
Garage? Yeah.
431
00:22:28,190 --> 00:22:29,590
No, it's not, mate.
432
00:22:29,590 --> 00:22:32,310
I mean, only an idiot would listen
to garage now, wouldn't he?
433
00:22:32,310 --> 00:22:33,990
It's a fucking pile of shit, mate.
434
00:22:33,990 --> 00:22:36,110
It is, innit? Why would you ever
listen to garage?
435
00:22:36,110 --> 00:22:38,230
I haven't a fucking clue.
Hang on a minute,
436
00:22:38,230 --> 00:22:39,910
I think So Solid Crew...
437
00:22:39,910 --> 00:22:43,190
Here, listen. I tell you what, why
don't we delete garage forever?
438
00:22:43,190 --> 00:22:46,670
Shit, yeah. Man, what you've got 21
seconds to go, eh?
439
00:22:46,670 --> 00:22:49,190
Fuck off, then, if you've got 21
seconds to go,
440
00:22:49,190 --> 00:22:50,590
just fuck off, garage.
441
00:22:50,590 --> 00:22:52,950
Yeah, fuck off, get out
of my life, mate.
442
00:22:52,950 --> 00:22:54,830
Go make some good fucking music.
443
00:22:54,830 --> 00:22:56,470
You're a funny fucker you are.
444
00:22:58,630 --> 00:23:01,310
I just realised, I gotta shoot
off, but...
445
00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:04,150
Yeah, enjoy your night, lads, yeah?
446
00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:05,670
See you later, boi.
447
00:23:05,670 --> 00:23:08,910
Nice to meet you. Yeah, nice
to meet you, mate, take care.
448
00:23:12,310 --> 00:23:15,230
Yeah, I'm probably going to shoot
off as well, actually.
449
00:23:15,230 --> 00:23:17,590
I've got, like, an urgent thing.
450
00:23:17,590 --> 00:23:20,230
Where you going?
Keep the pints, though, man.
451
00:23:20,230 --> 00:23:23,710
Oh, right, well... I'll see you
Thursday then, yeah?
452
00:23:23,710 --> 00:23:26,350
I'll let you know. You all right?
453
00:23:28,190 --> 00:23:30,150
Come on, mate. Let's get you home.
454
00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:34,430
You can do so much better than that.
I know.
455
00:23:36,190 --> 00:23:37,990
OK, who's up for a bit of champagne?
456
00:23:37,990 --> 00:23:39,590
Tia? Yep. You know what?
457
00:23:39,590 --> 00:23:41,310
It's been a good day.
458
00:23:41,310 --> 00:23:43,030
Steves, do you want one?
459
00:23:43,030 --> 00:23:46,430
No, I don't touch that stuff.
It fucks with your head.
460
00:23:47,790 --> 00:23:49,870
Oh, God, the good stuff.
461
00:23:52,870 --> 00:23:55,390
This always makes me jump.
Why are you shaking...?
462
00:23:56,430 --> 00:23:58,430
To my new business apprentice...
463
00:23:58,430 --> 00:24:00,870
Well, you're more like my apprentice
if anything.
464
00:24:00,870 --> 00:24:04,350
To think, yeah? This place was
nothing and we've built up a whole
465
00:24:04,350 --> 00:24:07,150
restaurant together.
I'm basically Gordon Ramsay.
466
00:24:07,150 --> 00:24:08,190
Gordon Chabuddy.
467
00:24:09,310 --> 00:24:12,070
I think we work really well together
as a team.
468
00:24:12,070 --> 00:24:14,310
I think we work really well
together, too.
469
00:24:14,310 --> 00:24:16,470
It's just beautiful.
470
00:24:17,910 --> 00:24:19,430
Let's not do that!
471
00:24:19,430 --> 00:24:22,030
Sorry, I just.... I thought
that was my moment to...
472
00:24:22,030 --> 00:24:25,470
It's OK, I think you just got things
a bit twisted.
473
00:24:25,470 --> 00:24:28,710
Look, you're my boss and I admire
you as a professional.
474
00:24:28,710 --> 00:24:30,870
I think we work really well
as a team and...
475
00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:32,070
You've done it again.
476
00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:33,990
Sorry, I just read it wrong again.
477
00:24:37,670 --> 00:24:40,230
A bit of washing up to do, man.
Yeah.
478
00:24:42,830 --> 00:24:45,510
Anyway, safe, man. See you
tomorrow, yeah?
479
00:24:45,510 --> 00:24:46,790
Yeah. See you tomorrow.
480
00:24:46,790 --> 00:24:48,470
Cool. Or, I was going to say,
actually,
481
00:24:48,470 --> 00:24:50,190
I might as well just stay round
tonight.
482
00:24:50,190 --> 00:24:51,670
Nah, I'll be fine, man, honestly.
483
00:24:51,670 --> 00:24:53,830
Yeah? Yeah. Thanks for caring,
though.
484
00:24:53,830 --> 00:24:56,790
Yeah, it's just I... You know.
Good to make sure you're all right
485
00:24:56,790 --> 00:25:00,070
after what you've been through
and that and... Nah, I'll be fine.
486
00:25:00,070 --> 00:25:02,510
Roche and Craig are there, yeah,
they'll pick me up.
487
00:25:02,510 --> 00:25:05,950
Yeah, no, that's cool.
Yeah. Look, I just...
488
00:25:07,830 --> 00:25:09,990
I just don't want to go
back home, man.
489
00:25:09,990 --> 00:25:12,310
Miche has been doing my nut in
and just...
490
00:25:20,070 --> 00:25:21,870
Look, it's complicated, all right?
491
00:25:21,870 --> 00:25:23,830
And I just can't go back there
tonight.
492
00:25:28,670 --> 00:25:30,390
My casa is your casa.
493
00:25:30,390 --> 00:25:32,630
Come on... Come on, let's go in.
494
00:25:34,310 --> 00:25:37,590
Actually, I've just got to ask Roche
if it's all right first.
495
00:25:37,590 --> 00:25:38,870
Oh, great.
496
00:25:46,550 --> 00:25:48,710
How are you? Fine.
497
00:25:48,710 --> 00:25:50,910
How's Craig?
498
00:25:50,910 --> 00:25:53,670
Fine. Cool.
499
00:25:53,670 --> 00:25:55,870
Roche? Yes.
500
00:25:55,870 --> 00:25:58,910
Is it all right if Grindah
stays tonight?
501
00:25:58,910 --> 00:26:01,950
He had, like, this big fight
with Miche. She kicked him out.
502
00:26:12,190 --> 00:26:14,430
So... Beats? Sorry.
503
00:26:15,590 --> 00:26:16,950
Is it all right?
504
00:26:19,430 --> 00:26:21,950
All right, you can stay,
but just for tonight.
505
00:26:21,950 --> 00:26:25,110
Sick. Cool. Can I get a juice?
Yeah, help yourself, mate.
506
00:26:25,110 --> 00:26:28,590
So, did you have a nice drink
with Darren? No, it was shit.
507
00:26:28,590 --> 00:26:32,030
To be honest, I don't really want
to go to parent classes any more.
508
00:26:32,030 --> 00:26:34,790
Well, you know I'm up for that.
Yeah.
509
00:26:34,790 --> 00:26:38,790
You don't need it these days,
do you? It's pointless. Yeah.
510
00:26:38,790 --> 00:26:40,630
Did something happen with Darren?
511
00:26:40,630 --> 00:26:43,270
You two seemed like you were getting
on really well.
512
00:26:43,270 --> 00:26:45,990
Nah. Nah. He's just not who
I thought he was.
513
00:26:45,990 --> 00:26:48,670
I don't really want to talk about
it, to be honest.
514
00:26:48,670 --> 00:26:50,630
Oh, OK, I won't ask any more then.
515
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:56,910
Do you want some wine, Miche?
I'm all right, thanks.
516
00:26:56,910 --> 00:26:58,950
You sure? It does help.
517
00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:01,030
Yeah, I'll see if the tea works.
518
00:27:01,030 --> 00:27:02,550
If in doubt, drink wine.
519
00:27:05,510 --> 00:27:07,350
Mummy? Where's Daddy?
520
00:27:07,350 --> 00:27:11,270
Oh, Daddy's just... He's having
a sleepover at Uncle Beats's house.
521
00:27:19,590 --> 00:27:23,590
because one of them is an idiot
and takes everything for granted.
522
00:27:23,590 --> 00:27:25,870
Mummy? Nana says you're an idiot.
523
00:27:25,870 --> 00:27:28,670
No, she's not talking about me.
She's talking about Daddy.
524
00:27:28,670 --> 00:27:31,190
Daddy. Daddy's the idiot.
Daddy's a plonker.
525
00:27:32,550 --> 00:27:34,150
Brought you the sleeping bag.
526
00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:36,150
Oh, this is beautiful.
527
00:27:36,150 --> 00:27:37,870
Here, I'll just... Yeah.
528
00:27:37,870 --> 00:27:40,230
It's lovely being able to sprawl
out, actually.
529
00:27:40,230 --> 00:27:42,550
Yeah? No-one else in the bed.
530
00:27:42,550 --> 00:27:44,830
You got everything you need, man?
Yeah.
531
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:46,710
Worked out perfectly, actually,
532
00:27:46,710 --> 00:27:49,310
cos I've got the old widescreen TV
as well in my room, so...
533
00:27:49,310 --> 00:27:51,590
Yeah. Yeah, you're always welcome
round mine, mate.
534
00:27:51,590 --> 00:27:54,510
Cheers mate. All right, sleep well,
soldier. See you in the morning.
535
00:27:54,510 --> 00:27:55,830
Night, mate. Night.
536
00:27:55,830 --> 00:27:57,670
Your best mates
are there for you, like,
537
00:27:57,670 --> 00:28:00,030
to pick you up when you're down,
do you know what I mean?
538
00:28:00,030 --> 00:28:02,390
Yeah. Like, if you need somewhere
to stay, here's a bed.
539
00:28:02,390 --> 00:28:04,670
Yeah. You need some money,
here's a bit of cash.
540
00:28:04,670 --> 00:28:06,150
What, you got some dough?
541
00:28:06,150 --> 00:28:08,350
Nah, I was just... That's what
you say, innit?
542
00:28:08,350 --> 00:28:11,230
Don't say it if you haven't
got any money on you.
543
00:28:11,230 --> 00:28:12,470
Sorry.
544
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:23,630
What the fuck?! He's a fucking noob!
545
00:28:23,630 --> 00:28:26,470
What you doing, you mug?
Grenade him!
546
00:28:27,510 --> 00:28:29,070
Oh, my God!
40001
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