Original subtitles

about your lucky puppet.

I'd give anything if only I could become a real live boy like that Pinocchio.

Is that what you wish for above all other things, dear Spot?

Oh, yes, dear Blue Fairy.

Being a real live boy is the most important thing in the whole wide world

Then close your eyes very tightly, dear Spot, and wish for it with all your

heart. I wish I was a boy.

I wish I was a boy.

I wish I was a... Ow, you're hurting me, dear blue fairy.

I ain't no fairy.

And it's time to get up.

Sorry, pretty boy.

It's just that I was having the most wonderful dream.

Him with the dream again. It's not enough you dress up like a boy and go to

cockamamie school every day.

No.

I want to be a boy.

I want to be a boy.

Well, wise up, pup chick. I want to be a rooster in a hen house, but I don't see

it happening.

Although I'd be a darn good one, wouldn't I, Mr. Jolly?

Oh, la.

It's a bit early in the day for hypothetical speculations, but you, a

It is too late.

Who asked you, tuna breath?

You're still in bed?

Come on, get up. You don't want to be late for the last day of school, do you?

And ruin my perfect attendance record? I don't think so.

Come on, let's go!

Pants? Check.

Shirt? Check.

Hail? Tucked. Eyebrows?

Plucked. Ears and cap? Ooh, table scratch.

Oh, demolished. Oh, polished.

Well, here I come!

Born on the wrong end of the leash, I was a dreamer. And a little schemer. A

simple mutt lived but a dog's life. But the bell for school would make me drool

till I came up with this clever ploy.

We used to say dressing like a boy.

He thinks he can take other pets a peg down. Hey, I'm a dog that's learned to

keep his leg down. I gotta be a boy.

He's over just being over.

Gotta be a boy.

He just bad thinks that he's a boy. He's a bomb. He's a regular whiskey. Yeah,

but... Hey, that's how it is, kid.

Now, it's similar to you being a dog like any other. Well, then, haven't you

always wanted a brother?

I wanna have a dog.

Hey, I'm off the leash now. He's eating quiche now. Gotta be a boy.

I sure hope so.

What am

I not?

Let it!

to mention my medal for self -esteem.

My uncle Ivan, who does strange and disgusting experiments on animals and

people. I mean, who knows?

Maybe next time I see you guys, I'll be able to breathe through my neck like an

amphibian.

You're so weird, Ian.

Wait till you see me with Jill.

Hot tea!

Ah, this summer. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. Just playing.

Friends forever.

Calm down, angel eyes.

Now, Poppy can't make his announcement with your sharp little talons in his

Adam's apple.

Now, students of the, um, um... Fourth grade, Principal Strickler. But soon to

be fifth grade.

That's why I'm glad I'm a principal. None of this messy student -teacher

involvement. Thank you.

Just that sort of bushy -gushy loving teacher stuff that leads to this

announcement. Mrs.

Mary Lou Halperman, you have been selected as a finalist for the Teacher

Year Award!

Yahoo! Halperman, you know! That's right! It's the NEATO, the National

American Teacher Organization Award!

And that's not all, Mary Lou Halperman! As a finalist, the Valadie Roosevelt

Unified School District will be sending you to compete in the final round of...

competition in beautiful, sunny southern Florida!

Florida!

And the fun doesn't end there, Mary Lou Helperman. Oh, no. Because you'll be

traveling to the Sunshine State in the luxury of my very own personal air

-conditioned Wentawego!

Yes, it's all yours.

The Wentawego S2 Wentawego. I only have one little, tiny, very simple rule.

Certainly, Principal Strickler.

Absolutely no dogs are allowed in my Wentawego ever. I hate dogs!

Well,

I guess it's time to say goodbye.

Oh, come on. Don't make it harder.

Don't give me those big, sad dog eyes.

They're the only eyes I got, Leonard. The eyes of a dog.

A dog who's not going anywhere.

Just staying home.

By himself.

Here.

Alone.

The dog.

But you're not going to be alone.

You've got Pretty Boy and Jolly. And Mrs. Boogan's the nicest pet sitter in

whole world.

And besides, it's only for two weeks.

Yeah, in boy time, two weeks.

But everything in dog time is seven times longer.

So for me, it's 14 weeks.

It might as well be forever.

Man, this really stinks.

You should smell it from down here.

Okay, just two weeks, then I'm back.

And it's you and me, best friends.

Together.

All summer long.

Oh, jeez. You're gonna sing now, aren't you?

I know it's been said. Oh, boy. Everyone needs someone.

This is not making it better. A loyal companion to share in life's

fun. You're killing me here.

For a day at the park or a game of leapfrog.

Sing it with me, Spot.

I thought you'd never ask.

A friend needs a friend.

A boy.

On the hot seat, we have Dr.

Ivan Crank, a world -class wacko who, get this, claims he

can turn animals into human beings.

Huh? Turn animals into human beings? My dream come true.

Oh. Now, how did this trash get on my TV?

Where's my clicker?

Oh, where did I put it?

in the kitchen. Well, good excuse to get us all some more yummy moochie

-boochie. I'd love her for the food, but that woman is definitely a couple of

caraways short of a seat value.

Look! Direct from Florida, where the cuckoo nuts grow, the world's biggest

wacko, Dr. Ivan Crank.

I am not a wacko. I am a man of science.

the neuroelectrical photopulsar -based methodology to isolate the genome on the

DNA strand, which will allow me to transform dumb animals into dumb human

just like you!

Wow, it's my dream come true.

I find the perfect animal subject to turn into a real, live, human being!

Me, Dr.

Crank! Me!

Hey, smart boy, let me explain how TV works. We can hear them, but they can't

hear us.

I've got to meet that man. He's the one chance I have to finally make my

lifelong dream come true.

But he's all the way in Florida, where Leonard and his mom are headed right

What a coinkydink.

Coinkydink, Mr. Jolly?

Coinkydink? That I just happened to lay on that clicker and change to that

channel and see that miracle man who just happens to live in Florida where

Lennon and his mom just happen to be going as we speak?

Coinkydink, Mr.

Jolly? Or a fake?

Cover for me with the pet sitter, guys.

I'm gonna fly.

Here's your hint.

It's someone you love.

something funky?

But... Okay, I can't believe it. What are you doing here?

I had to come, Lenny. How could I stay away?

I just love you so much and wanted to be with you so bad.

A friend needs a friend.

A boy needs a dog.

Okay, I also need a lift to Florida for my own self -serving reasons, but why

spoil this beautiful moment with that?

Your old pal from back home. Who'd have thunk it and fancy meeting me here?

He's good. Oh, Scott, I've missed you.

Really, Mrs. H? How much? Enough to take me on the rest of your trip to sunny

southern Florida?

Could we, Mom? Well, of course not, honey. Scott's obviously traveling with

family. What family?

Oh, my family. Sure, I'm traveling with my family. My whole family.

Mom, sis, grandma.

Uncle Jojo, the ventriloquist, his dummy Floyd.

My family!

Oh, I love them. I love them! But darn the Lockwood, you know, they can't go to

Florida because... because why?

There's been an emergency?

Good. I mean, it's a good emergency, the kind where they all have to go home,

but I can still go to Florida with you, which is the good part. So, come on,

let's hit the road.

Well, I'd certainly need to discuss it with your mother first.

You don't make this easy.

Jill meets you right over there. She just, uh, has to get dressed.

ready, but do you want to hear the funniest thing? I brought that exact

dress on this trip.

Oh, that is funny. You're a stitch.

Anyway, back to poor Scott.

He so desperately wants to go to Florida.

rest of my life.

I did, I did. Just wishing I am that some fine soul would take me Scotty boy

Florida. Uncle Jojo the ventriloquist?

Tis. And where's your dummy Floyd?

Great said, Patty Shillelagh. The little leprechaun must be around here

somewhere.

Okay, you be Floyd.

Me? I don't know what to do.

Just shut up and act dumb.

What? Perfect.

Mrs. Halberman, me dummy Floyd.

Take her, Scott. Please.

providing you'll hide me fine nephew to fair Florida.

Well, of course I'll take him. I've been planning to take him all along.

And you couldn't have just said that to the lady in the flowery dress?

Saints preserver, say goodbye, Floyd.

Top of the morning to you.

Hey, I do the cliched Irish dialogue around here.

So, what's up?

and singing, I'm starting to feel von trapped.

There's a whole bunch of world in our backyard.

An awful lot of world to see.

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, and now the states that start with C and D.

California, Colorado, and Connecticut.

Back in the middle, little Illinois, Indiana, and Iowa too.

Since Kansas and Kentucky and way down south, Louisiana is shaped like a shoe.

And still a lot of states do too.

Woo!

George Washington took his first...

It's time to make somebody's dream come true.

Way ahead of you, pal.

Fetch! Excuse me? That's my dream. You know, a guy and his dog, the beach, the

stick, the wave of water.

Uh, Leonard, I think we have slightly different dreams.

We do?

What's your dream?

Well, I guess maybe I should have mentioned it earlier.

But see, there was just...

I get it. I thought you came to be with me.

You really just came for the ride.

No, I did come to be with you.

And for the ride.

Oh, please, Lenny. I gotta have a shot at my dream.

I don't know.

It all sounds so wacko. Anyway, you're not supposed to be a boy. You're

to be my dog.

Don't give me the eyes.

No, not the sad walk away.

Forget it. No.

Crank guy. But as soon as you see that I'm right and he's nuts, we'll march

right back here, you'll be a dog, I'll throw a stick, and we'll make my summer

dream come true.

Good boy.

What?

Marcia?

What?

Marcia!

Oh, the pathos and agony of two beautifully clothed people in love.

Yeah, yeah.

who claims he can turn animals human.

Dr. Ivan Crank!

Wacko! Wacko!

Wacko! Jolly, that's the guy Spot went to see. But why is Barry Anger returning

the spotlight to that wacko?

Why, you ask, am I returning my spotlight to that wacko? I'll let

of the Okie Pachokie Bureau of Animal Safety explain.

Dr. Ivan Crank is a dangerous fraud.

His experiments do not turn animals human at all. They turn them into

weird mutations like this.

If you belittle, be little, then your quest is doomed to fail. But when you're

small but mighty, the mighty shall prevail.

You've got to persist.

I've got to persist?

Never say die.

Never say die? You've got to be fast and fearless now and follow this battle

cry.

Small but mighty, small but mighty. When you're powerful and wise, you can rise

above any size.

Oh, it must be the next one down that -a -way.

Florida, land of surprises.

Trust me, fellas, it's a great gig.

24 -hour -a -day soaps, all the food you can eat.

but boy, could she use a new set of bifocals. Come on, Jolly, let's roll.

Are we there yet?

Small but mighty. Say it with me, baby!

Keep

out.

Go away.

I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

Amen.

You're nothing but a couple of mutant swamp creatures who do nothing but

me of my life of failure. Just because you're having a bad day, is it really

necessary to dump on everyone else?

Yes, we may be failures, but we're failures who love you.

Out of my way, you walking handbag!

Um, hello?

Who is that?

Jeez, he looked a lot shorter on TV.

Maybe it's the axe.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am Scott Ledreddy II, your newest subject.

The one that's finally going to work.

Dare you torment an old man.

You cannot help me.

I'm nothing but a worthless boy.

You're wrong, Dr.

Crank. I am a dog who wants to be a worthless boy.

I mean, who wants to be a boy.

I was totally fooled.

Don't worry, it happens all the time.

Now, here's your problem as I see it, Doc. While your theories are

scientifically sound and your equipment technically flawless, you keep hitting a

failure point when it comes to the selection of your subjects.

See, you've been experimenting on swamp creatures, insects, and reptiles.

And alligators.

Alligators are reptiles.

Proceed. But the fact is, Dr.

Crank, if you want to make a man, you've got to start with a mammal.

Yes, of course.

It's so simple and yet so utterly brilliant.

I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard that.

I shall give you a nickel if you'll be my mammal.

I'll take it.

Then I shall...

a boy.

Oh, boy!

Oh, no!

Spot, this is wrong. This is going against nature.

Nature? I am a man of science.

You're a wacko of science.

Who do you think you are?

I'll tell you who I am.

Or better yet, I'll sing it.

Maestro, a tango, if you please.

I was born with a brain.

that could not be contained. So they tortured and teased me and called me

insane. It was bad, very bad.

Even Mom called me mad. Any child would go wild from the pain.

Rage and rage and defiance.

I turned my cerebrum to science.

I tinkered and toiled till my beakers all boiled and I built this amazing

appliance.

I am I, Ivan Crank.

Just a man way ahead of his time.

Allow me to be frank.

I'm much hipper than old Dr.

Frankenstein. I am I, Ivan Crank.

And you may call me wacko or weird.

But you'll have me to thank when this pot that you've reared is no longer wet

nose. Wanky tails or dog heels. He'll be human like you, man. The world will all

cheer for the genius.

That is I, Ivan Crank.

Let the Neuro Exchange Animal Transformation Operation, or NITO for

to be confused with that stupid teacher award, begin.

I don't understand.

How can I be a man?

Great balls of kibble. I forgot all about dog time.

That's right. One human year equals seven dog years. That would make you...

Don't do the math.

Well, it's not exactly what I had planned, but I'm human, and

that's nothing to shake your tail at.

How can I thank you? Oh, it will be thanks enough that you spend the rest of

your life traveling around the world with me as living proof of my genius.

Ah.

Well, gee, fun as that sounds for me, I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass.

I can't spend the rest of my life with you. I live with this guy at his house,

in his room. I sleep on the bottom bunk.

Although now that I'm a big grown man with knuckle hair and...

Lower back pain. That may present a slight problem.

But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let's go, Lennon. No!

You're not going anywhere, my precious man.

I made you. I own you. You're mine!

Come, Dennis, Adele. We must begin making plans for the Ivan Clank world

vindication.

They're my high school reunion.

You, mister, and why are you all dressed up like Scott Ledreddy the second?

Uh, no time to explain, strange little boy I've never met before in my life.

Ian, can you help us get out of here?

What do you give me if I do?

Um, all I've got is this slimy old dog chew toy and a shiny new nickel.

Mm -hmm.

Decode secret password, override security check, bypass concealed alarm

and... Bingo!

Wow! How'd you do that?

Oh, come on, this was easy.

Reprogramming the Queen's toilets for a 21 -flush salute. Now that was hard.

Thanks, Ian. Thank you, stranger.

You're welcome, stranger.

As long as I'm here.

I love this.

Oh, it wasn't me, Sam.

No, no, no.

That, that, that was a loosey kid.

Quick, hop in.

Hmm,

I must work out.

Die hard.

They've escaped.

Dennis, Adele, find them. You betcha. Right away, Daddy.

Nothing here.

blame them, Uncle Ivan. I let him go.

Oh, Ian.

Ian, my darling nephew. The only one who ever truly believed in me. Welcome to

my home.

However, now that you've ruined everything, I must ground you for the

the summer. So go to your room. Don't come out till Labor Day.

Yes, Uncle Ivan.

Grounded again.

Geez, I could have saved a bus ride.

is very nice.

Pleasant, even.

One might go so far as to say, invigorating.

Told ya. But we're not going very fast.

How long will it take us to get the spot?

Oh, we should start making some real progress any second now.

And if these pants ride up anymore, I'm going to be a soprano. I've got to get

me some new clothes.

We need to get us some money.

Yeah, but how?

Whoa!

What?

Lost dog.

Reward, $100.

That'll...

start renting you some more classic animated movies.

Leonard the Twilight Bark is that free worldwide long -distance server through

which dogs all over the world have been communicating since the dawn of time.

Now, let's just hope I still got enough dog left in me.

Hello?

Shut that dog up!

Oh, no, my human -eared friend?

Yes! Thank you!

I mean... Come on, let's go.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Oh, jeez, this could go on all day.

Lady! Turns out she wasn't really lost. She was just kind of busy. Mars!

How can we thank you?

Gee, I can think of a hundred ways.

Oh, uh, I can't give you a hundred dollars.

But... That's okay, Leonard.

A good deed is its own reward.

Oh, you brought back five dogs.

So I'm giving you five hundred dollars.

All right. I knew you weren't a big fat cheapskate.

I'm sorry. Was that out loud?

Funky, let's go eat and buy pants and do all the stuff you can only do when

you're all grown up and got 500 bucks to burn.

No money may be the root of all evil.

Money, it might not buy you love.

Money won't bring you happiness or grow new hair or cure your stress or get you

to the pearly gates above.

But there's a bunch of things that money can do. Put a shirt on your back and a

shine on your shoe and the gas shows up, I don't say boo.

I take the money and run.

Cause love can't buy a fancy car or a figure chain.

If you want to find a thing, you better break the bank.

Cause if there's one sure thing that money can do, put the pedal to the metal

when the rent comes due. When the money shows up, baby, don't say boo. Take the

money and run. Oh, yeah. Take the money and run. Go, man.

Get your ass when you can.

Take the money and run.

The whole place is filled with evil smells and moans and ghastly shrieks and

lightning and thunder and scary bumps in the night.

Come home?

No way! I love it here!

Ian?

How many times must I tell you to stay off the phone?

I want to call out for a pizza.

Extra anchovies, old man, please!

Dennis! Adele! You're back!

Where is my dog, man?

Have our pizza, Dad?

Go! And don't return without him!

And don't call me Daddy!

I bet you that little boy would have given his dog some pizza.

Thank God the other mosquitoes in the swamp can't see me now. They all left.

Or a bucket of marbles.

Oh,

please, just squish me now.

No, Bob, this has been the greatest day of my life.

And I've only been a man for what, like five hours?

Five hours?

Shoot, we promised Mom we'd be home by six.

Whoa, was that just this morning?

Time sure flies when you're changing species.

are you?

Uh, why, yes.

Yes, I am. Ah, I am.

A teacher.

And a darn good one, too. Who appreciates a fellow darn good teacher

come all the way down here to this lovely Winnebago Park to say, may the

darn good teacher win.

Well, isn't that kind of you?

Honey, where's Scott?

And, uh, that's the other reason I came. To tell you that, uh,

Scott's family called, and he had to go home after all.

And he needed a grown -up to help, and I obviously am a grown -up human man

person. Ah, obviously.

You know Scott Ledready II?

Do I know Scott Ledready II?

Only better than I know myself, ma 'am.

Proportionate. Well, any friend of the Ledreadys is a friend of mine. I'm Mary

Lou. And I'm Scott.

Oh, uh, right.

Common name.

Lots of Scotts. Scotts are us.

But I'm Scott, uh... Manly. Manning. It's a hyphenate. Scott Manly Manning.

Well, Mr. Manly Manning, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Yeah, sorry you gotta leave so soon.

Great getting to know you. Just a little, but not too much. Hi, Leonard.

Where did you park your manners?

After all the trouble Mr.

Manly Manning has gone to, the least we can do is invite him in for a cup of

coffee.

Coffee? I've always wanted to try coffee.

Boy, it's true what they say. What a beverage. Who believed that little brown

bean from Brazil could pack such mellow, rich, roasty, good -to -the -last -drop

flavor? By the way, were you aware that it was our 26th president, Theodore

Teddy Roosevelt, who originally coined the phrase good -to -the -last -drop?

Little known fact, but true.

Yes, I think one of my students mentioned that once.

I can't remember which one. You can't remember which one? For crying out loud,

it's obviously... Time for you to go now. What a shame. Thanks for coming by.

See you later. Hey, what's the hurry, Junior?

I'm still... my first cup of joe you don't get out of here you're gonna blow

you're gonna say something or do something or drink something and just

up there leonard amadeus helperman we don't just put our guests out the door

like the evening trash oh now now mary lou don't be upset with leonard he's

a boy oh come off it mister you are out of control now you go straight to your

curtained off section of the winnowago until you're ready to rejoin polite

society for dinner.

Speaking of dinner, are you hungry?

Hey, I'm always hungry. I'm a doggone hungry guy.

You are so gonna blow it.

I couldn't eat another bite.

Here for a chocolate.

Oh, chocolate is... Poison for dogs?

I know. Aren't we lucky we're human?

Yes, we are!

Oh,

I'm sorry. Did you want one?

Someone has a sweet tooth.

Ah, what can I say?

There's something about eating under the stars at a table, sitting in a chair.

Using a fork. It just makes everything taste so good.

Well, to me, it's not the food.

It's the company.

I don't know why, but it's as if I've known you for a very long time.

You're just so comfy to be with, like an old shoe.

Oh, I mean that in a good way.

Hey, not that I love more than an old shoe.

Uh,

to wear, I mean.

say the most unusual things, but I like it.

Golly gosh, I wish there was someone like you back home.

You do?

Hold that thought. I'll be right back.

Well, they did drink a lot of coffee.

Leonard, you are going to be so proud of me. We can stop worrying how I'm going

to live and where I'm going to sleep and how we're going to stay together.

I've stumbled upon the answer, and it doesn't even matter that I'm a hairy

-knuckled grown -up with back pain.

In fact, it works to our advantage.

You're kidding.

Of course.

I won't be sleeping at the bottom bunk anymore. But I promise I'll tuck in and

tell you a bedtime story before I settle in to watch the 9 o 'clock news with

Mary Lou.

Who? You know, your mom.

Oh, he cleaned his plate so well.

I can see myself.

I know who Mary Lou is. But why would you be watching the news with her? And

is she dancing around with your dinner plate?

Unless...

I've always loved her. You and I still get to be together.

Climb up on my lap, sonny boy.

And call me daddy.

Are you crazy?

You can't be my dad. You're my dog.

Hey, people change.

Come on. It'll be great.

I'll teach you how to shave, take you fishing, holler at your little league

coach when he doesn't play you enough. Maybe I'll even get you a little puppy.

Mister, you are out of control.

What? You're going to send me to my room?

I think that's my job, son.

No. No. This is not okay with me. You have to stop liking my mom right now.

Oh, in all fairness, son, I believe Mary Lou should have something to say about

this. And stop calling her Mary Lou. And stop calling me son.

I command you as your master.

Former master, Leonard. I'm not your dog anymore.

Well, I sure as heck am not your kid.

You want me to go?

But what about us?

You and me.

A friend needs a friend.

That was the different us.

Yeah.

I guess it was.

Wait a minute.

Yeah? I paid for that collar and dog tag with my own allowance.

But... You don't need them. You said it yourself.

You're not my dog anymore.

I'm sorry I have to interrupt this musical moment, Mary Lou. I guess I'll

see you again.

It's time for me to go.

Oh, me, oh, my, oh, no. I've never been so low.

Oh, where did my dogman go?

I gotta go.

I don't know where, I only know.

My former friend is now my foe. He couldn't stand the status quo.

I said I'd stay, but he said no.

Whatever. Aw, honey -buddy boombox.

I know you miss your dog and your best friend, but we're going home tomorrow,

and Spot and Scott will be there waiting for you, and everything's gonna be

peachy -pie normal and just the way it was.

Right.

Just the way it was.

I suppose most people don't arrive by garbage truck.

On a more positive note, I don't think there's anything in the world I'll ever

fear after this.

It's a monster!

Look at him! Watch out!

Hey!

It's just your reflection.

Oh.

It's me!

I look hideous!

No argument there.

I'm going up for a bird's -eye view.

you're up there somewhere in the stupid rain.

Because you just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?

No, you had to go and mess up a great thing just to make your stupid dream

true. Bet you'd come crawling back any minute now, cold and wet and tired and

hungry and sick of being a man and wishing you could be my dog again.

Well, forget it. I'm not taking you back.

What?

Oh,

it's you.

Oh?

It's you?

We travel 2 ,000 miles and all we get is, oh, it's you?

Come on, Charlie, let's go home.

What? No, you guys, I'm sorry.

I'm really, really glad you're here.

I've never needed anyone more.

Now that's a greeting.

Something's happened to Spot. Sit down.

It's a long story.

So this is what it's like to be human, huh?

Sitting alone in a dump on your tailless butt, just twiddling your opposable

thumbs.

Top of the world, Ma!

Top of the world.

What's that?

Sounds like that...

stupid song Lennon always used to sing.

Oh, it is that stupid, beautiful song.

Oh, Lennon.

I know it's been said, everyone needs someone,

a loyal companion to share in life's

fun for a day.

Or a game of leapfrog.

A friend needs a friend.

A boy...

And to shake for a ball full of grub, a face to be

licked when a tummy gets rubbed like a...

Is something wrong with it?

No, no. It was just a shock at first.

You could use a shave.

Really? I thought it was kind of edgy.

But forget that. Where's Leonard?

Oh, Spot, it's terrible. He just ran out babbling some nonsense about if you

can't be his dog, then he'll have to get that Dr. Crank to turn him into your

dog. That crazy kid.

Although I guess it could work.

No! Now what am I saying?

My plan could not have gone any better if I'd had a plan.

And now I do.

I turn the boy into a dog, use him as bait to lure the dog man, and then I'll

have the man and the dog.

Oh, Mommy, nothing wacko about that.

Oh, isn't there, Dr.

Wacko? Oh, you're right on cue.

I'm sorry, Scott.

I just wanted us to be together again.

I did it for us.

No, I'm the sorry one, Leonard. It's all my fault.

I shouldn't have messed with nature.

Oh, haven't you heard? My good man, nature is dead.

Science is king.

Oh, that is just wrong on so many levels.

Well, then riddle me this, Dr.

Crank. Is it science or nature that makes you have to laugh? when someone

tickles you under the armpits! Pretty boy! Charlie!

Stop it, you guys! You keep him busy, I'll take care of him.

stress.

I'll be the same.

Wacko!

Cool!

Ah,

well. To quote the immortal bard, which I don't believe I've yet done in this

entire adventure, all's well that ends well.

There's one more thing I've got to do.

Dear Blue Spot, wake up.

Oh, is that you, dear Blue Fairy?

How many times I gotta tell you, dog breath, I ain't no fairy!

Spot? Is it really you?

In the first!

Oh, Spot, you're back!

I had to come back, Plunky. I love you, and I want to be with you. Don't you

remember?

Cue the violin.

And so it's bye -bye to species second guessing. This rover's learned his

lesson. I'm about to be a dog.

I'm about to be a dog.

A set of three needs a man.

I can teach me.

One kiss will do at the start.

I'm sure with a little homework, I'll graduate through your heart.

Teacher's pet.

I want to be teacher's pet.

I want to take home a diploma and show my dad you love me.

May be the root of all evil.

Money, it might not buy you love.

Money won't bring you happiness or grow new hair or cure your stress or get you

to the pearly gates above.

But there's a bunch of things that money can do. Put a shirt on your back and a

shine on your shoe. When the cat shows up, I don't say boo. I take some money

and run.

But if there's one sure thing that money can do, put the pedal to the metal when

the red comes through. When the money shows up.