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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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You know that Mr. Rosenbloom
with the furniture store
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over by the steak house?
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He's asked me to dinner.
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Is he your boyfriend?
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Well, he's one of them,
so let's not bring that up.
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All right, so what can I do for you?
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What's it like to be Jewish?
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Oh, it's terrible. I don't recommend it.
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- [PHONE RINGING]
- Yeah?
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Connie, I would like to
have dinner with you tonight.
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This is very promising.
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SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw
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had their first sleepover.
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It's a big step in their relationship.
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I'm going to go congratulate them.
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Hey, put on a jacket, it's chilly out.
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♪ You're just too good to be true... ♪
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I have only seen you eat
vanilla ice cream for dessert.
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- Why is that?
- Well, I've taken a page
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from the great physicist
Richard Feynman.
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In order to have
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00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,180
one less decision in his life,
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he decided that dessert would
always be chocolate ice cream.
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Sounds like it could get kind of boring.
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Oh, it does.
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But over the last 35 years,
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I believe I've saved at
least a day and a half.
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♪ Pardon the way that I stare... ♪
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[LAUGHING]
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Well, you have to let
me cook for you sometime.
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But I enjoy cooking for you.
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It's a means of expressing my affection.
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It also allows me to
control the amount of garlic,
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which gives me the burps.
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Well, I do make a mean barbecue,
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and I promise I can make it garlic-free.
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Excellent!
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Next time, you can express
your affection for me.
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[CHUCKLES]
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[PHONE RINGING]
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Excuse me.
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I bet it's Sheldon checking on us.
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What?
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Connie? It's Ira.
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[CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY]: Hey... Hey...
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I'm, uh...
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I-It's Sheldon.
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He... sounds a little agitated.
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I'm gonna take it in the other room.
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Just...
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[PARTITION CLATTERING LOUDLY]
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[QUIETLY]: Hello again.
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Listen, I'm wondering what
you're doing this weekend.
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I miss you.
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Cool, cool.
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You want to go to a movie
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or bowl a few frames?
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Uh, you know, listen, it's
not a great time right now.
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Um, I have a little family over,
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and can I call you later?
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Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I
don't want to interrupt.
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I just miss hearing your voice.
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Well... here it is,
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coming right up out of my throat.
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Um, okay,
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so, uh, uh, bye.
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Bye-bye.
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How's Sheldon doing?
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- What?
- Sheldon.
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You were talking to Sheldon.
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Oh... right, yes. [CHUCKLES]
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Did you know he has a
picture of that fella Feynman
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in his bedroom?
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What? So do I.
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00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,699
Peas in a pod.
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- [PHONE RINGING]
- Oh, darn.
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Excuse me.
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00:02:53,870 --> 00:02:55,979
Yes?
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How's it going?
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It's Sheldon again.
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What do you mean "again"?
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Speak.
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I recently read an article
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about a superconducting supercollider
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that might be built in Texas.
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What about it?
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00:03:07,790 --> 00:03:09,209
Well, I thought if there was a lull
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in your dinner conversation,
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you might casually drop
it as an icebreaker.
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00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,649
Our dinner conversation
is going just fine.
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Well, now you have it
in your back pocket.
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Carry on.
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- [DIAL TONE]
- [CHUCKLES]
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[HANGS UP PHONE]
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[CLEARS THROAT]
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Question... will we be
engaging in coitus tonight?
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Because I believe I pulled a hamstring
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on the bike ride over.
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Why didn't you say something?
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Well, I was trying to display machismo,
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00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:40,529
but it's becoming more and more clear
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that there's something
askew in my groin.
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Oh, John...
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we don't have to do anything.
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We can just be together.
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Thanks.
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But if it's all the same to you,
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I'd like to give it the old college try.
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[LAUGHING]
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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Here you go.
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Thank you.
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So, you're really gonna go out
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with this furniture store fella
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while seeing Dr. Sturgis?
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It's called playing the field.
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And if you'd done some of that,
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you wouldn't be saddled
with Bluto in there.
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That's not nice.
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00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:34,399
And is that really necessary?
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The Italians call it "corretto."
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It means correcting the drink.
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So, a drink without
alcohol in it is wrong?
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00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,339
Yep.
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00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:47,139
- Italian people, they know what's up.
- [SIGHS]
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00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:49,279
All right, one issue at a time.
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00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:53,919
So, you're really gonna
date two men simultaneously?
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00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,480
- Two that you know of.
- Oh, Mom.
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00:04:56,490 --> 00:04:58,619
Come on, don't be such a prude.
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I'm not gonna have any babies.
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00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,139
I don't need these
men to take care of me.
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00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:04,359
Why shouldn't I just enjoy myself?
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00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,799
Well, it isn't very Christian of you.
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00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,699
I got no argument there.
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Salute! [CHUCKLES]
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[SIGHS]
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Yeah, that fixed it.
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Mmm.
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♪ ♪
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Oh, Meemaw, no.
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Hey, who are you calling?
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00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:38,020
Dr. Sturgis.
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00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:39,129
Why?
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00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,870
I saw Meemaw get in a car
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00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,740
with Mr. Rosenbloom.
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[DISTORTED]: No...
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ADULT SHELDON: I don't know if
it really happened this way,
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but to my nine-year-old mind,
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my mother was flying.
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[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
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So, how's the brisket?
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00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,099
It's good.
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00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:09,000
It ain't my brisket, but it's good.
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I should take you to New York
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00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,039
so you could taste some
authentic Jewish brisket.
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How's it different?
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00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:15,709
Well, it's pretty much the same except
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it's-it's a lot juicier
and you can feel the fat
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go directly to your heart.
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00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:20,819
[BOTH LAUGHING]
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Oh, boy...
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00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:24,880
I miss that laugh.
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00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:28,189
So, uh...
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00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:29,890
what do you think of that idea?
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00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:32,759
- What idea?
- Going to New York.
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Maybe we'll catch a
couple of Broadway shows,
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00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,630
uh, see some sights.
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Oh, Ira, gee...
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I don't know. [CHUCKLES]
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- Seems like a big step.
- Is it?
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I think at this time of our lives,
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we should travel, see the world.
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I guess.
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00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:52,739
I mean, we're not getting any younger.
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What's that supposed to mean?
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00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:55,889
[STAMMERS]
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I mean, I mean, I'm
not getting any younger.
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00:06:58,390 --> 00:06:59,859
You, on the other hand,
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00:06:59,860 --> 00:07:02,459
you are a blossoming tulip.
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Better.
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00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:07,029
SHELDON: But I still don't understand.
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00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:09,499
Your grandmother's a single lady.
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00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,499
She's not committed to any one fella,
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00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,539
and she wants to see
what her options are.
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00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:15,769
But Dr. Sturgis is the best option.
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00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,609
Well, you might feel that way,
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00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:19,079
but she's not so sure.
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00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,979
Then we need to tell
her. I'll make the call.
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00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:23,509
No. We need to mind our business
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00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,440
and maybe pray for her to
make the right decision.
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00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:28,749
We're gonna leave this up to God?
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00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:31,219
You think you could do
a better job than God?
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00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,060
Maybe not with creating the universe,
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00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:34,469
but I bet I could free the Hebrews
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00:07:34,470 --> 00:07:36,270
with one good plague.
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00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,309
IRA: You can get lox, bagels,
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00:07:38,310 --> 00:07:41,129
all the trimmings at
3:30 in the morning.
203
00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:43,569
[CHUCKLES] Why would I want that?
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00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:46,299
Well, you wouldn't. I
mean, it's too heavy.
205
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,569
But you could if you wanted.
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00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:48,669
[CHUCKLES]
207
00:07:48,670 --> 00:07:49,870
So, what do you think?
208
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,339
Oh, Ira, I don't think so.
209
00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:54,119
All right, what do you say
210
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,189
to a weekend in New Orleans, huh?
211
00:07:56,190 --> 00:07:58,110
We could do one of those
Carnival Cruise things.
212
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,520
You're killing me. [LAUGHS]
213
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,040
I can't do this, I...
214
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:03,869
Can't do what?
215
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:07,279
Ira, you're just a wonderful man.
216
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,909
Oh, boy, I don't like
where this is going.
217
00:08:09,910 --> 00:08:11,589
But to tell you the truth,
218
00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,379
I'm seeing somebody else.
219
00:08:13,380 --> 00:08:14,830
And we've gone there.
220
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,219
I thought I could do it, uh...
you know, date both of you,
221
00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,599
but I-I can't, I can't, I just...
222
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,719
I'm not cut out for it.
223
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,749
Okay, suggestion.
224
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:27,119
And maybe you've already
thought of this...
225
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,899
but what do you say
you break up with him
226
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,229
and only see me?
227
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:31,660
[CHUCKLES]
228
00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:34,769
[SOBBING]
229
00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:37,039
I'm sorry.
230
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,589
I thought I could handle this.
231
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:41,170
- It's okay.
- You know,
232
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:44,430
you get older, and you
think your skin is thicker...
233
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,309
- It's okay.
- and your heart is tougher.
234
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:49,349
But it's not, it's the other way around.
235
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:53,689
I hope this guy knows
what a gift he has in you.
236
00:08:53,690 --> 00:08:55,459
Well, "gift" is a strong word,
237
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,629
but he's enthusiastic.
238
00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:58,789
Good.
239
00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:01,730
May you both be very happy together!
240
00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:07,799
I don't want to celebrate too soon,
241
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,939
but Meemaw and Mr. Rosenbloom
are back, and he was crying.
242
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:14,109
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
243
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:17,020
There'll be more updates as they happen.
244
00:09:25,090 --> 00:09:26,489
I'm done.
245
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:27,750
Can I please be excused?
246
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,959
Good Lord, did you even chew it?
247
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,559
Not the recommended amount, no.
248
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,700
What's your hurry?
249
00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:34,959
I need to get back to my viewing post.
250
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,780
Fine, go ahead.
251
00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:41,630
What's he expect to see,
staring at Meemaw's house?
252
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,769
[SIGHS] Did you just join this family?
253
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:45,269
The kid's an oddball.
254
00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:47,409
He's just excited that Meemaw's dating
255
00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:49,009
a man he looks up to.
256
00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,629
I wish she could date Tony
Danza... that'd be cool.
257
00:09:51,630 --> 00:09:53,830
What is it with you and Tony Danza?
258
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,319
Well, the show doesn't
come out and say it,
259
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,790
but I'm pretty sure he's the boss.
260
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,619
I think the blonde lady's the boss.
261
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:02,650
Angela?
262
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:04,560
Who's the oddball now?
263
00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,739
I'm warning you,
264
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,959
once you try my barbecue,
265
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:14,070
it will ruin you to all the others.
266
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,909
That's what happened to me
with quilted toilet paper.
267
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:18,640
Once I tried the good stuff,
268
00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:21,270
everything else felt like a Brillo pad.
269
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,140
You paint quite the picture, don't you?
270
00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:25,709
[DOORBELL RINGING]
271
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,349
Oh, gosh.
272
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,119
Excuse me.
273
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,390
Sheldon, this is not cute anymore.
274
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:36,559
- Connie Tucker?
- Yes?
275
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,489
I have a dinette set from
Rosenbloom's Furniture.
276
00:10:38,490 --> 00:10:39,539
Oh.
277
00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:40,929
I didn't buy any furniture.
278
00:10:40,930 --> 00:10:43,090
I think it's a gift.
279
00:10:44,030 --> 00:10:45,469
Oh, boy.
280
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,169
TONY: I bent down to pick up a book,
281
00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:50,769
and I'll be darned if she didn't
sneak a look at my derriere.
282
00:10:50,770 --> 00:10:52,809
- [LAUGHTER ON TV]
- Oh, man.
283
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:56,509
You won't believe what's
happening at Meemaw's house.
284
00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:58,949
Is it more interesting
than Who's the Boss?
285
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,810
Doubt it.
286
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:02,749
[PHONE RINGS]
287
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,319
Rosenbloom's Fine
Furniture. Ira speaking.
288
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,359
Why are you sending me furniture?
289
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,189
I've decided I can't go away quietly.
290
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,229
I'm fighting for your love.
291
00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:13,710
With a dinette set?
292
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,529
Oh, this isn't just any dinette
set. It's our biggest seller.
293
00:11:16,530 --> 00:11:18,229
And it's not pressed wood...
294
00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:19,869
It's oak!
295
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:22,369
Ira, I don't like this.
296
00:11:22,370 --> 00:11:25,039
Would you prefer a leather sectional?
297
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,020
Uh, what's going on? [CHUCKLES]
298
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:29,559
Uh,
299
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,109
can I call you back?
300
00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:32,709
I look forward to it.
301
00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,380
You shouldn't.
302
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,679
Okay.
303
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,540
I guess you could say
304
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:42,040
one of my former boyfriends
305
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:44,659
is trying to win me back with furniture.
306
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:47,349
Huh. Impressive.
307
00:11:47,350 --> 00:11:49,200
This is real oak.
308
00:11:49,870 --> 00:11:51,660
Was that him on the phone?
309
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,600
Yes. I'm sorry.
310
00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:56,439
Interesting.
311
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,069
What?
312
00:11:58,070 --> 00:12:00,539
Being challenged by another man
313
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:04,040
is making you more attractive to me.
314
00:12:04,050 --> 00:12:05,900
I don't follow.
315
00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:07,879
I'll have to do some research,
316
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:12,250
but I'm guessing this
is a genetic instinct
317
00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:15,070
that's raising my libido.
318
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,610
[CHUCKLING]: I need a drink.
319
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:24,659
Can you believe he tried to
win me back with a dinette set?
320
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:27,419
I'd give you a dinette
set if you'd leave Texas.
321
00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:29,589
So, would you return it?
322
00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:31,329
Hell no, I'm keeping it.
323
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:32,999
But then you'll be beholden to him.
324
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,329
[SIGHS]
325
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:36,030
Would you ever take Ira back?
326
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,149
I don't know.
327
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:40,389
He's sweet as he can be, but...
328
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:43,339
there's just something about John.
329
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:46,039
He's like a cute little
teddy bear, you know?
330
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,339
A brilliant,
331
00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:48,740
bicycle-riding
332
00:12:48,750 --> 00:12:50,449
teddy bear.
333
00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:52,479
I don't even understand
half of what he says.
334
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,449
But...
335
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:57,600
when he's not around, I just miss him.
336
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:02,220
Sounds like you're falling in love.
337
00:13:02,230 --> 00:13:04,719
Maybe I am.
338
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,989
Excellent. I love him, too.
339
00:13:06,990 --> 00:13:08,190
Get out of here!
340
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,319
If you don't understand
what Dr. Sturgis says,
341
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,659
I'm happy to explain it to you.
342
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,160
Get!
343
00:13:16,870 --> 00:13:19,049
STURGIS: Excuse me.
344
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:20,480
I'm looking for Ira.
345
00:13:20,490 --> 00:13:22,540
At your service. What can I do for you?
346
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:25,979
You, sir, have overstepped your bounds.
347
00:13:25,980 --> 00:13:27,849
[CHUCKLES] I'm sorry, what?
348
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,149
Miss Constance Tucker
349
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:32,689
made it clear your courtship
was no longer welcome,
350
00:13:32,690 --> 00:13:35,559
and you responded with six chairs,
351
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,929
a table, and an expansion leaf.
352
00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:40,559
Who are you?
353
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,879
John Sturgis,
354
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,599
the man she chose
355
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,569
and your romantic rival.
356
00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:48,400
I-I'm sorry, wait, what-what
is it you want from me?
357
00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:51,179
I want you to give up
your pursuit of Connie.
358
00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:53,920
All right, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave my store.
359
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,109
Very well.
360
00:13:57,110 --> 00:14:00,080
The line in the sand has been drawn.
361
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,700
Cross it at your own peril.
362
00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:09,800
[QUIETLY]: Weirdo.
363
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:19,869
What was that?
364
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:21,139
You heard me.
365
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:24,740
Sir, I am a man with feelings.
366
00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:27,740
And you have hurt them.
367
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:32,510
I know you've had a number of...
368
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,480
gentleman callers,
369
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:37,089
but I've never heard you
speak like this before.
370
00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:38,560
"Gentleman callers"?
371
00:14:38,570 --> 00:14:40,289
And we wonder where Sheldon gets it.
372
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:41,420
[LAUGHS]
373
00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:43,320
I'm sorry y'all find this funny,
374
00:14:43,330 --> 00:14:44,459
but this is the first time
375
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:46,619
my mother's expressed
real interest in a man
376
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,199
since Dad died.
377
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,130
Forgive me for wanting to know more.
378
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,200
You really want to know more?
379
00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:57,739
Imagine you're getting on in years,
380
00:14:57,740 --> 00:14:59,709
you and your husband about to retire,
381
00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:01,649
get a little timeshare in Sarasota,
382
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:04,650
and... suddenly...
383
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:06,789
he's gone,
384
00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:09,249
and you're all alone.
385
00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:11,750
You mourn, you cry,
386
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,320
but eventually you move on.
387
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,459
You start dating a little,
388
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,810
and it's all good fun.
389
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,049
But always in the back of your mind,
390
00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:25,519
there's that question...
391
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,490
"Will I be alone in the end?"
392
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,609
[SNIFFLES]
393
00:15:35,610 --> 00:15:37,520
Why y'all looking at me for?
394
00:15:37,530 --> 00:15:40,029
[SNIFFLING]
395
00:15:40,030 --> 00:15:41,819
Haven't slept in days.
396
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,589
It's like I'm a lovesick teenager,
397
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:47,019
except I remember the Truman
administration. [CHUCKLES]
398
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:49,369
Your feelings are understandable.
399
00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:51,500
Connie is a remarkable woman.
400
00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:52,970
Yes, she is.
401
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:55,429
But, again, I'm sorry. I should
never have called you weird.
402
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:57,730
I mean, eh, it was rude.
403
00:15:57,740 --> 00:16:00,069
I've been called much worse.
404
00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:04,539
A professor once
called me ostrobogulous.
405
00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:05,949
I had to look that one up.
406
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:07,200
What's it mean?
407
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,740
That I'm a weirdo.
408
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:09,909
[LAUGHS]
409
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:12,309
John, you're a great guy.
410
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,719
Well, you, too!
411
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,479
But I hope you understand, I just...
412
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,059
I can't give up on Connie.
413
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,259
That's all right.
414
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:19,559
To tell you the truth,
415
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:23,639
I'm finding the competition
quite exhilarating.
416
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:24,830
You are?
417
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:26,179
Oh, yes.
418
00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:28,619
The night the dinette set arrived,
419
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:32,259
I did my first push-up in 40 years.
420
00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:34,039
[LAUGHS, SNORTS]
421
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,359
I'm sorry, but I find that to be, uh...
422
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,760
What's the word... Astro-boobulous?
423
00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:40,560
Ostrobogulous.
424
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,859
Ostrobogulous.
425
00:16:41,860 --> 00:16:43,969
Exactly.
426
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,989
Now, give me your best price
427
00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:48,529
on one of these
428
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:51,230
with a cup holder.
429
00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:59,719
John! What a pleasant surprise.
430
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,399
- I have some news for you.
- Oh?
431
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,190
- Mwah. What is that?
- Mwah.
432
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,200
I went to the furniture
store and spoke to Ira.
433
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,489
- Why would you do that?
- To demand
434
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:13,229
that he respect your
wish to be left alone.
435
00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:17,709
John, it was not your place to do that.
436
00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:20,050
Well, if it helps,
437
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:22,610
he doesn't plan on leaving you alone.
438
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:32,119
What the hell were you thinking?!
439
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,789
That I was being chivalrous.
440
00:17:33,790 --> 00:17:35,859
By going behind my back?
441
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:38,159
You seem upset.
442
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,450
I am upset!
443
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:42,759
And how I handle Ira is my business!
444
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,999
Well, I hope you do it gently.
445
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,010
He's very vulnerable these days.
446
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:48,549
You're friends now?
447
00:17:48,550 --> 00:17:50,199
Well, I wouldn't say friends,
448
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,870
but I could see, over time,
449
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,840
- you know, we might...
- Are you two fighting?
450
00:17:55,810 --> 00:17:57,109
No.
451
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,679
Oh, good. [CHUCKLES]
452
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,149
I was almost certain that we were.
453
00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:02,249
We are.
454
00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:03,829
- I'm confused.
- Me, too.
455
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:05,819
Is this because you went
to the furniture store?
456
00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:06,989
He knows about this?
457
00:18:06,990 --> 00:18:08,490
- BOTH: Yes.
- All right, now, listen,
458
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,889
if this relationship's
gonna have any chance at all,
459
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,659
we have to lay down some ground rules.
460
00:18:12,660 --> 00:18:14,029
Great. I love rules.
461
00:18:14,030 --> 00:18:15,279
I do, too.
462
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,760
I don't want you talking
to him about anything
463
00:18:17,770 --> 00:18:19,099
having to do with anything about us.
464
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,100
Same with you.
465
00:18:20,101 --> 00:18:21,239
And I want you to stop
466
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,169
spying on me with those binoculars
467
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,439
like you're on some
kind of African safari.
468
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,199
And you cannot talk
469
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,869
to Ira or any of my
ex-boyfriends, for that matter.
470
00:18:30,870 --> 00:18:32,739
This list is getting long.
471
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:34,349
Maybe we should write it down.
472
00:18:34,350 --> 00:18:35,920
Hey.
473
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,260
ADULT SHELDON: In that moment,
474
00:18:38,270 --> 00:18:40,089
I had an epiphany.
475
00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:44,829
I could draw up a contract
for any social relationship.
476
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:46,359
[WHIRRING]
477
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,260
It was a helpful way to remove ambiguity
478
00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:51,699
in a world that was
often hard to understand.
479
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,330
Article three...
480
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,569
Sheldon will not spy
481
00:18:55,570 --> 00:18:58,939
on Meemaw's house with binoculars.
482
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:00,509
Type that one in bold.
483
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:02,810
[CLICKING]
484
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,380
[WHIRRING]
485
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:12,759
Please sign and date.
486
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,589
You know, Sheldon, I'm
a notary, if that helps.
487
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:17,749
Just when I thought
you couldn't get cooler.
488
00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:19,890
ADULT SHELDON: I would go on
489
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,989
to draw up such contracts
throughout my life...
490
00:19:22,990 --> 00:19:24,620
With roommates,
491
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,280
with my wife.
492
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:30,220
Even with my own children.
493
00:19:32,950 --> 00:19:37,660
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