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Previously, on Young Sheldon...
2
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I've been corresponding
with Dr. John Sturgis
3
00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:06,680
at East Texas Tech.
4
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He said I could audit his course.
5
00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,569
Connie, I would like to see you again.
6
00:00:10,570 --> 00:00:12,599
Perhaps we could have dinner sometime.
7
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Yes, we would love that.
8
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We would?
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00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:18,209
If they get married,
we immediately double
10
00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:20,409
the number of smart
people in our family.
11
00:00:20,410 --> 00:00:22,649
Hello, Dr. Sturgis.
12
00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:23,749
Hello, Sheldon.
13
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Can you see yourself living here? I can.
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♪ ♪
15
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Mmm. Good ratio of hot
dog chunks to spaghetti.
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I've been experimenting.
Glad you noticed. Kids!
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- Wash up for dinner!
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
18
00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:41,910
Now, who on earth is that?
19
00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:45,369
And don't be picking out all the chunks.
20
00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:46,940
Aw.
21
00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:53,779
Sorry I'm a little late.
22
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[LAUGHS]: My pant leg
got stuck in the chain.
23
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:58,549
Who are you?
24
00:00:58,550 --> 00:01:00,620
I'm John Sturgis.
25
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Sheldon invited me to dinner.
26
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Aha.
27
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,129
Okay. Um, come in, I guess.
28
00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:09,489
Sheldon?
29
00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:11,029
SHELDON: Coming!
30
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This is for you.
31
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It's cheese and summer sausages.
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Thank you.
33
00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,469
Summer sausage means it
doesn't need to be refrigerated.
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Is that so?
35
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It is.
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00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:24,670
Okay. Sheldon?
37
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,640
Dr. Sturgis, welcome.
38
00:01:26,650 --> 00:01:27,979
Thank you, Sheldon.
39
00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:30,109
Sheldon, you think you
might've let me know
40
00:01:30,110 --> 00:01:31,879
you invited company over for dinner?
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00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,519
I did think about it, but I
was afraid you might say no.
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00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,889
Come see my train set.
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All right!
44
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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Good Lord.
50
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You mean he just showed
up out of nowhere?
51
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,220
Yep. He's out in the garage
playing trains with Sheldon.
52
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,189
Why's your hair wet?
53
00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:13,589
If you must know, I was
doing my water aerobics,
54
00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:15,229
and my swimming cap fell off.
55
00:02:15,230 --> 00:02:17,490
This Sturgis fella
didn't say a word to you?
56
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,829
If he did, do you think I
would have been doing frog kicks
57
00:02:19,830 --> 00:02:21,899
at the YMCA?
58
00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:23,700
You look great.
59
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,769
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
60
00:02:26,770 --> 00:02:30,370
O gauge trains are definitely the best.
61
00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:33,209
Oh, yes, they are.
62
00:02:33,210 --> 00:02:34,410
[CHUCKLES]
63
00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:36,860
Oh, well, what a pleasant surprise.
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Oh, good. You're here, too.
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I am.
66
00:02:40,230 --> 00:02:41,689
Are y'all about ready for dinner?
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I am.
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00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:44,739
Well, then, let's go.
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00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:46,409
Meemaw, you smell like chlorine.
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- Why say it?
- Hmm.
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00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:53,510
You weren't kidding.
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00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,780
Spaghetti and hot dogs is delightful.
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00:02:56,790 --> 00:02:57,869
SHELDON: Even better
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00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:00,019
since Mom perfected the chunk ratio.
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00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:02,619
So, Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon tells us
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00:03:02,620 --> 00:03:04,520
you're a guest professor
at the university.
77
00:03:04,530 --> 00:03:05,740
- I am.
- Hmm.
78
00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,949
Does that mean that you're
only here temporarily?
79
00:03:07,950 --> 00:03:10,510
Well, that's the plan for now.
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00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:15,080
But I could be enticed to stay.
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00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:18,269
Meemaw, I do believe
there was subtext there.
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00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:19,539
Did you pick up on it?
83
00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:20,770
Yeah.
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00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:23,179
Was I correct to infer
there was subtext there?
85
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:24,279
You were.
86
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,830
Okay, we're all good.
87
00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:29,219
I can't believe they're
making me sit and eat
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00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:30,549
at the kiddie table.
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00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:31,810
It's better here.
90
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:32,919
How?
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00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,889
We don't have to pray,
eat our vegetables,
92
00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:36,389
and we can curse.
93
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,189
Hmm. Maybe you're right.
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00:03:38,190 --> 00:03:40,380
Course I am, you ass-face.
95
00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:43,919
SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis, do you think
96
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,699
we're ever going to unify gravity
97
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:48,269
with the other three fundamental forces?
98
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:51,019
I have a sticky note on my refrigerator
99
00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:54,349
which reminds me every
day to do just that.
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00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:56,679
When did you decide to
focus your research
101
00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:57,909
- on quantum...
- Um, Sheldon, I think
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00:03:57,910 --> 00:04:00,310
you're kind of dominating
the conversation.
103
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,180
Why don't you let your
meemaw talk to Dr. Sturgis.
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00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,639
Oh, I'm sorry. By all means.
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00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,669
Thank you.
106
00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:09,470
- Connie?
- Yes, John.
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00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,610
Do you smell like chlorine on purpose?
108
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,049
You sure I can't give you a ride home?
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00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,119
I can throw your bike in
the back of my pickup truck.
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00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,190
Thank you, no. I-I enjoy the night air.
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00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,229
Plus,
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00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:25,360
hot dogs and spaghetti
113
00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:27,120
is a highly caloric event
114
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:30,290
that demands an aerobic
effort on my part.
115
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:32,979
Well, it was a pleasure
spending the evening with you.
116
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,579
We should do it again sometime.
117
00:04:34,580 --> 00:04:35,929
Great. When?
118
00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,030
How about tomorrow?
119
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,100
[SPUTTERS] You know
what, we'll figure it out.
120
00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:41,500
Come on, let me see you to your Schwinn.
121
00:04:41,510 --> 00:04:42,909
Bye.
122
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:44,770
- Good night.
- [CHUCKLES]
123
00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:47,290
Well, that was the
most stimulating dinner
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00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,929
I've ever had in this house.
125
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:50,160
Glad you enjoyed it.
126
00:04:50,170 --> 00:04:52,429
That man is a true role model.
127
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:54,930
Well, it's nice you finally
got a man you can look up to.
128
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:56,870
Oh, believe me, I know.
129
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,810
You gonna keep it all bottled up,
130
00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:09,980
- or you want to talk about it?
- What?
131
00:05:09,990 --> 00:05:11,680
I'm fine.
132
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:12,889
There's nothing to talk about.
133
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:14,989
- You sure?
- Yeah.
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00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:16,760
Sweet dreams.
135
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,799
You know you want to talk about it.
136
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,230
You saw it.
137
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,569
My own son can't even
imagine me being a role model?
138
00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:31,239
How am I supposed to be okay with that?
139
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,309
You're a role model for Georgie.
140
00:05:33,310 --> 00:05:34,709
I used to be.
141
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,989
Now he wants to grow
up and be Tony Danza.
142
00:05:36,990 --> 00:05:39,309
Did you forget you have a daughter
143
00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:40,749
who would really benefit
144
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:43,219
from having a good man to look up to?
145
00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,980
Oh, dear Lord.
146
00:05:44,990 --> 00:05:46,889
- You did forget.
- [SCOFFS]
147
00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:48,689
I didn't forget. I just...
148
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:50,530
I don't know how to spend time with her.
149
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:52,420
It ain't rocket science, George.
150
00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:53,629
She's a little girl.
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00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:55,029
Ask her what she wants to do,
152
00:05:55,030 --> 00:05:56,379
and then do it with her.
153
00:05:56,380 --> 00:05:58,829
Oh, yeah. I suppose.
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00:05:58,830 --> 00:06:02,069
Trust me. She'll be thrilled
to spend some time with you.
155
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,500
Okay.
156
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:05,380
Yeah, I'll give it a try.
157
00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:10,779
Hey, when we do, you know,
whatever it is she likes to do,
158
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:12,049
you're gonna be there, right?
159
00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:13,510
No.
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00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:17,119
Well, this just got harder.
161
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,990
[GROANS]
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00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:25,859
Meemaw?
163
00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:27,729
Meemaw!
164
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,300
What?
165
00:06:29,350 --> 00:06:31,049
I've been researching things
166
00:06:31,050 --> 00:06:33,149
that you and I can do with Dr. Sturgis.
167
00:06:33,150 --> 00:06:34,299
There's a lecture tonight
168
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:35,819
at Rice University called
169
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:38,059
"What's happening at the
center of our galaxy."
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00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,559
Let me just stop you right there.
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00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,920
Don't worry. I know what's
happening at the center,
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00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:43,690
but I would never spoil it for you.
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00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,629
Look, I know you're invested
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00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:47,399
in me and John having a relationship,
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00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,969
and I'm not saying we won't.
176
00:06:48,970 --> 00:06:52,139
But it ain't gonna happen
with you always underfoot.
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00:06:52,140 --> 00:06:53,639
Have I been underfoot?
178
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:58,079
Honey, in order for grown-ups
to get to know each other,
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00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,379
they need to have some alone time.
180
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:04,110
What if I'm around, but
I took a vow of silence?
181
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:05,950
Go home and have your breakfast.
182
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,819
And then she said for grown-ups
to get to know each other,
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00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,719
they have to have time alone.
184
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,820
Makes sense. What else?
185
00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:17,559
Apparently my being underfoot
isn't conducive to romance.
186
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,349
This is very helpful.
187
00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:20,629
Thank you.
188
00:07:20,630 --> 00:07:22,370
I'm at your service.
189
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,849
Oh, Celeste, why do you always
190
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,299
fall for bad boys?
191
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:33,500
GEORGE SR.: Hey.
192
00:07:33,510 --> 00:07:34,599
Hi, Dad.
193
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,069
What you doing?
194
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:37,539
Am I in trouble?
195
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:40,500
No, no. Just-just checking in on you.
196
00:07:40,510 --> 00:07:41,609
Why?
197
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:44,939
'Cause you're my
daughter and I love you.
198
00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,509
This is getting weird.
199
00:07:46,510 --> 00:07:48,500
It is. I was just thinking that, uh,
200
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,970
you and me, you know,
201
00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:51,839
we don't spend much time together.
202
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,719
You know, we should
find something to do,
203
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,179
just-just two of us.
204
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:56,820
- Like what?
- You tell me.
205
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:58,900
What-what sounds fun?
206
00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:02,690
I'd like to be taken to dinner.
207
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:05,229
Great. Where?
208
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:08,769
To the fanciest
restaurant in all of Texas.
209
00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:09,999
Which is...?
210
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,600
Red Lobster, where the
surf meets the turf.
211
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:15,970
You got it.
212
00:08:15,980 --> 00:08:17,270
Thanks, Dad.
213
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,479
Mom, you got to take me shopping!
214
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,909
I need a dress!
215
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,579
[PHONE RINGS]
216
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:26,249
Yeah?
217
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,530
Connie, this is John Sturgis.
218
00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:30,050
Well, hello, John Sturgis.
219
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,289
How are you?
220
00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:33,689
I chipped a tooth on a
peach pit this morning,
221
00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:36,029
but otherwise, I'm okay.
222
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:37,689
Good. Good to hear it.
223
00:08:37,690 --> 00:08:39,089
Next order of business.
224
00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:41,709
I would like to have
dinner with you tonight,
225
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:43,170
just the two of us.
226
00:08:43,180 --> 00:08:46,739
Oh, well, that sounds nice.
227
00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:48,369
What'd you have in mind?
228
00:08:48,370 --> 00:08:53,309
I'd like to come to your house
and cook you a Szechuan feast.
229
00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:54,809
I'm sorry, a what?
230
00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:55,949
Szechuan.
231
00:08:55,950 --> 00:08:59,060
It's a style of Chinese
cooking I learned
232
00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:00,989
when I was traveling through China.
233
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:04,050
Well, wonderful. I would love that.
234
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:06,120
Great. Do you have a wok?
235
00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,059
I do not.
236
00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:09,229
Not a problem.
237
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:10,860
I have a travel wok.
238
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:12,799
Okay.
239
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,069
Uh, so, uh, what do you say about 6:00?
240
00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:17,299
It's a date.
241
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,439
Terrific.
242
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:22,239
Oh, and, um, let's not
mention this to Sheldon
243
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,139
so as to keep him from being underfoot.
244
00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,549
Have you been talking to him?
245
00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:29,690
I have. See you later.
246
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:34,470
[CHUCKLES]
247
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,299
Do I really need to get
dressed up to go to Red Lobster?
248
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:41,059
You're getting dressed
up for your daughter.
249
00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,890
And that's a new shirt, so
be sure to ask for a bib.
250
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:45,130
Oh!
251
00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:50,569
I'm ready.
252
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:52,039
You're going to dinner wearing that?
253
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,839
I think you mean she looks beautiful.
254
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,339
You look beautiful.
255
00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:59,209
Why thank you, George.
256
00:09:59,210 --> 00:10:01,349
How 'bout we stick
with "Dad" tonight?
257
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,510
Okay, but you call me Melissa.
258
00:10:05,150 --> 00:10:06,959
After you, Melissa.
259
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,089
Thanks, George.
260
00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:10,450
[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
261
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,770
♪ ♪
262
00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,540
[CHUCKLING]: Oh, my.
263
00:10:32,550 --> 00:10:34,309
I know, I look like
264
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:37,579
a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
265
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:39,580
Well, come on in.
266
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,919
Sheldon, come in the kitchen for dinner.
267
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,190
- Can I eat out here?
- Why?
268
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,199
Dr. Sturgis is having a
dinner date with Meemaw.
269
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,399
I don't want to miss it.
270
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,440
[SIGHS] Fine.
271
00:10:57,300 --> 00:11:00,369
ADULT SHELTON: During that time,
I saw three cars drive by
272
00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:03,120
and a raccoon dragging a slice of pizza.
273
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,930
["SMALL TOWN" BY
JOHN MELLENCAMP PLAYING]
274
00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:13,320
♪ I was born in a small town ♪
275
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:15,759
Uh, table for two.
276
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,500
No problem.
277
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,499
♪ Probably die in a small town ♪
278
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,730
Allow me.
279
00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,180
You are allowed.
280
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,170
Thank you.
281
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,040
Yes, thank you.
282
00:11:31,050 --> 00:11:33,749
If I may.
283
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:36,479
♪ My job is so small-town... ♪
284
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:38,219
So what do you think?
285
00:11:38,220 --> 00:11:41,750
I think we might be underdressed.
286
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,260
♪ ♪
287
00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,480
♪ Ain't no woman like the one I've got ♪
288
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:51,910
The trick to a
successful Szechuan dinner
289
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,819
is the Szechuan pepper.
290
00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:55,389
Okay.
291
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:57,349
Now, you may notice
292
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,819
your lips and tongue getting numb.
293
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:02,059
Then why are we eating it?
294
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:04,329
'Cause it's yummy.
295
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:06,359
[CHUCKLES] Sure.
296
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,799
So, what were you doing
wandering around China?
297
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:13,139
Well, when I'm not doing
research or teaching,
298
00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:16,739
I enjoy taking the path less traveled.
299
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:19,339
I'm guessing it's a bike path.
300
00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:21,840
- As a matter of fact, it was.
- [CHUCKLES]
301
00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:24,549
Everybody in China rides bicycles.
302
00:12:24,550 --> 00:12:25,849
It's fantastic.
303
00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:28,419
- Did you see the Great Wall?
- I did.
304
00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:30,069
Interesting fact:
305
00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:32,129
it's filled with the dead bodies
306
00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,819
of the people who built it.
307
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:35,650
You don't say.
308
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:37,830
Hundreds of thousands of them.
309
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,439
Here, taste.
310
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,010
♪ Can fill me up ♪
311
00:12:43,270 --> 00:12:45,969
If it's just the two of us,
why can't I eat watching TV?
312
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:48,169
'Cause you're having
dinner with your mother
313
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:50,039
and it's a chance for us to talk.
314
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,609
Sheldon's having dinner
and looking out the window.
315
00:12:52,610 --> 00:12:54,899
- Want me to have him join us?
- No.
316
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,570
Then quit complaining.
317
00:12:58,590 --> 00:13:00,329
So what do you want to talk about?
318
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,149
Um, I don't know.
319
00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:03,549
How's school?
320
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:06,050
It's school, it's a turd fest.
321
00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:09,059
Charming.
322
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,649
Are you dating anyone?
323
00:13:10,650 --> 00:13:13,129
Nah, nobody up to my standards.
324
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:14,960
Sure.
325
00:13:14,970 --> 00:13:16,699
Can I ask you a question?
326
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,930
Course, you can ask me anything.
327
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:21,500
Were you pregnant with
me when you married Dad?
328
00:13:22,910 --> 00:13:25,639
Um... why would you ask that?
329
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:26,969
Sheldon said so.
330
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:28,179
How would Sheldon know?
331
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:29,189
He did the math.
332
00:13:29,190 --> 00:13:30,190
What math?
333
00:13:30,191 --> 00:13:32,110
He said the time between my birthday
334
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,429
and your wedding day was six months.
335
00:13:34,430 --> 00:13:37,329
Um... yeah.
336
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:39,869
That's because you...
337
00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:42,109
were born premature.
338
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:43,989
I've seen my birth certificate,
339
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,929
it said I weighed nine pounds.
340
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:48,260
Yes, that's true.
341
00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:51,910
You were a big fat preemie.
342
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,489
Let's talk about something else.
343
00:13:54,490 --> 00:13:55,569
Why?
344
00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:57,510
'Cause I'd very much like to.
345
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,769
And then Heather B
said she didn't want
346
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:02,969
to play tetherball
with Heather M anymore.
347
00:14:02,970 --> 00:14:04,709
Wait. Th-There's two Heathers?
348
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:05,719
Oh, yeah.
349
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,979
Which one's which?
350
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,349
Heather B is stuck up.
351
00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:10,139
Heather M used to be stuck up,
352
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,160
but then she got a scoliosis brace.
353
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:14,019
Maybe she shouldn't
be playing tetherball.
354
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,180
That's what Heather B said.
355
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:19,469
This is delicious,
356
00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:22,660
but you were not
kidding about the spice.
357
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:24,299
I'm about to break a sweat here.
358
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,289
[LAUGHS] Well, here's something
359
00:14:26,290 --> 00:14:28,059
you might find interesting.
360
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:31,759
Spicy food is typically
found in warmer climates
361
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,839
because it induces sweating,
362
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,330
which in turn, cools people off.
363
00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:38,810
So what does the runny nose do for me?
364
00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:41,480
It allows me to, uh,
365
00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:45,119
gallantly offer you my handkerchief.
366
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,759
You are such a gentleman.
367
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:47,859
When I was younger,
368
00:14:47,860 --> 00:14:50,259
I read a book on etiquette.
369
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:51,410
That's how I know
370
00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:53,699
that if I ever have an
audience at the Vatican,
371
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,829
I should wear evening
attire or a sack coat.
372
00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:59,769
[LAUGHS] I don't know
what a sack coat is,
373
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:03,569
but I'm sure you'd look handsome in it.
374
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,660
Thank you.
375
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:11,760
You know, it's a long
bike ride at night.
376
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,119
If you want...
377
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,649
you're welcome to stay.
378
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:21,260
No, it's fine, I-I have
a headlight on my bicycle.
379
00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,420
Oh, sure, sure.
380
00:15:26,340 --> 00:15:28,309
Although, I hear it might rain.
381
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:32,499
No worries. I have a pocket poncho.
382
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,310
So you do.
383
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,609
John.
384
00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:39,990
I'm inviting you
385
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,699
to spend the night.
386
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,030
Oh.
387
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,130
No, thank you.
388
00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:56,020
Don't they make babies
that are born too soon
389
00:15:56,030 --> 00:15:57,329
stay in the hospital?
390
00:15:57,330 --> 00:16:01,229
Normally, yes, but you were born
391
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:04,079
with such a great head full of hair
392
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,880
that they sent you home with us.
393
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:09,870
That's the first thing
you've said that makes sense.
394
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,070
I'm glad we had dinner, this was nice.
395
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,679
Yeah, fun stuff.
396
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,440
Well, don't want to miss Who's The Boss.
397
00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:24,850
Lord, forgive me for lying.
398
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,659
I'll tell him the truth
when he's 30. Amen.
399
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:28,489
[WHO'S THE BOSS THEME MUSIC PLAYS ON TV]
400
00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:30,259
Your lobster, madam.
401
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:31,950
Thank you.
402
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,799
SERVER: Would you like
me to open it for her?
403
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,330
GEORGE SR.: Oh, I got it, thanks.
404
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,569
- You all right?
- This thing's freaking me out.
405
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,510
Here, let me help you with that.
406
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,449
Here. Okay.
407
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:52,879
The trick is not to make eye contact.
408
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,199
Tell him.
409
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,660
Here.
410
00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:59,249
All right, now, we just... snap her off
411
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,959
like that... pop.
412
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,219
Grab this guy here,
413
00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:06,119
and we crack the claw.
414
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:09,859
And then you take out a little meat...
415
00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:12,029
dunk it in some butter,
416
00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:14,030
and then you eat it.
417
00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:17,630
Holy moly.
418
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,799
It's good, huh?
419
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,119
Unbelievable.
420
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,630
I'll leave you to it.
421
00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:25,190
No. Sit with me.
422
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,850
Okay.
423
00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:34,589
When I grow up, I'm gonna
eat lobster every night.
424
00:17:34,590 --> 00:17:37,529
Well, hon, you better stay in
school and get a good education.
425
00:17:37,530 --> 00:17:40,459
I was thinking I'd
just marry a rich guy.
426
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,369
Sure, that's a way to go.
427
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:45,670
Or a guy who works at Red Lobster.
428
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,780
That's another way to go.
429
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,199
You seem quiet. Is everything okay?
430
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,919
Are you not interested in me?
431
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,430
Of course I am. I'm very interested.
432
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,439
Then how come when I...
433
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,220
I invited you to spend
the night, I got rejected?
434
00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,259
I did do that, didn't I?
435
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:19,399
Good Lord, yes.
436
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,060
I can explain.
437
00:18:21,070 --> 00:18:22,399
Please do.
438
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,090
I didn't want you to
think that I would think
439
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:27,739
that you were the sort of woman
440
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,349
who would engage in coitus
441
00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:31,870
simply because I cooked
you a Szechuan dinner.
442
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,939
It was better before you explained.
443
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:37,910
All right, let me try a different tack.
444
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:41,899
Connie.
445
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,139
Oh, boy.
446
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:45,009
Would you honor me with an evening
447
00:18:45,010 --> 00:18:48,220
of intimate relations?
448
00:18:48,230 --> 00:18:50,450
Well, that is a different tack.
449
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:12,610
This is very promising.
450
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:14,219
What's happening?
451
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,889
Dr. Sturgis's bike is still at Meemaw's.
452
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:17,989
So?
453
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,279
That means he probably is, too.
454
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,659
You need to get a life.
455
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,390
[GASPS] There he is.
456
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,169
Mom, Mom, Mom.
457
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:35,739
- What's wrong?
- What's going on?
458
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:38,570
Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw
had their first sleepover.
459
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:40,679
It's a big step in their relationship.
460
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,009
I'm going to go congratulate them.
461
00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:45,349
Hey, put on a jacket, it's chilly out.
462
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,820
Will do!
463
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:48,589
Or try saying he can't go.
464
00:19:48,590 --> 00:19:50,649
Oh, never mind, you can't go!
465
00:19:50,650 --> 00:19:52,709
SHELDON: The last thing
I heard was jacket!
466
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:54,440
[GROANS]: Oh.
467
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:59,610
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