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First of all, happy Earth Day, everyone.
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First of all, happy Earth Day, everyone.
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First of all, happy Earth Day, everyone.
Make some noise for Earth. You know, I
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Make some noise for Earth. You know, I
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Make some noise for Earth. You know, I
love her. I love Earth.
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love her. I love Earth.
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love her. I love Earth.
Did you remember to get her a gift? I
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Did you remember to get her a gift? I
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Did you remember to get her a gift? I
got her some sexy lingerie and uh was
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got her some sexy lingerie and uh was
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got her some sexy lingerie and uh was
more of a gift for me.
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more of a gift for me.
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more of a gift for me.
Let's get started because as of late,
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Let's get started because as of late,
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Let's get started because as of late,
the Glaciers are not the only thing
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the Glaciers are not the only thing
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the Glaciers are not the only thing
that's been melting down. Cash Patel,
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that's been melting down. Cash Patel,
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that's been melting down. Cash Patel,
FBI director, and the man voted worst
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FBI director, and the man voted worst
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FBI director, and the man voted worst
kisser by Brethalizer magazine, is
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kisser by Brethalizer magazine, is
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kisser by Brethalizer magazine, is
having a bad week. He sued The Atlantic
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having a bad week. He sued The Atlantic
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having a bad week. He sued The Atlantic
over a story alleging that he drinks too
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over a story alleging that he drinks too
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over a story alleging that he drinks too
much, misses work, and that he's what's
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much, misses work, and that he's what's
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much, misses work, and that he's what's
known inside the domestic intelligence
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known inside the domestic intelligence
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known inside the domestic intelligence
community as a total cho. And yesterday,
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community as a total cho. And yesterday,
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community as a total cho. And yesterday,
Cash went before the press to make it
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Cash went before the press to make it
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Cash went before the press to make it
very clear that he will dodge any
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very clear that he will dodge any
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very clear that he will dodge any
question that comes his way. Can you say
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question that comes his way. Can you say
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question that comes his way. Can you say
definitively that you have not been
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definitively that you have not been
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definitively that you have not been
intoxicated or absent during your tenure
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intoxicated or absent during your tenure
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intoxicated or absent during your tenure
as FBI director?
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as FBI director?
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as FBI director?
>> I can say unequivocally that I never
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>> I can say unequivocally that I never
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>> I can say unequivocally that I never
listen to the fake news mafia.
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listen to the fake news mafia.
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listen to the fake news mafia.
>> Yeah.
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>> Yeah.
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>> Yeah.
Yeah. Damn. That's a real master class
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Yeah. Damn. That's a real master class
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Yeah. Damn. That's a real master class
on talking like a middle schooler
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on talking like a middle schooler
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on talking like a middle schooler
who's terrible at talking Oh. Oh,
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who's terrible at talking Oh. Oh,
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who's terrible at talking Oh. Oh,
you my mom? Well, I sucked your dad's
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you my mom? Well, I sucked your dad's
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you my mom? Well, I sucked your dad's
dumbass.
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Yeah. Clap for that. up for that.
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Yeah. Clap for that. up for that.
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Yeah. Clap for that. up for that.
Also, the fake news mafia. I appreciate
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Also, the fake news mafia. I appreciate
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Also, the fake news mafia. I appreciate
that you tried to make us sound cool,
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that you tried to make us sound cool,
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that you tried to make us sound cool,
but if the news were the mafia, it would
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but if the news were the mafia, it would
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but if the news were the mafia, it would
be a lot more vague. Tonight at 6, let
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be a lot more vague. Tonight at 6, let
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be a lot more vague. Tonight at 6, let
me tell you why about the guy who's
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me tell you why about the guy who's
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me tell you why about the guy who's
going down the place to do the thing.
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going down the place to do the thing.
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going down the place to do the thing.
Okay, capish.
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Come on, Cash Money. You got to give me
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Come on, Cash Money. You got to give me
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Come on, Cash Money. You got to give me
a better DEFENSE THAN THAT. TRY AGAIN.
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a better DEFENSE THAN THAT. TRY AGAIN.
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a better DEFENSE THAN THAT. TRY AGAIN.
This FBI director has been on the job
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This FBI director has been on the job
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This FBI director has been on the job
twice as many days as every director
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twice as many days as every director
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twice as many days as every director
before me. What that means is I've taken
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before me. What that means is I've taken
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before me. What that means is I've taken
half as many days off as those before
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half as many days off as those before
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half as many days off as those before
me. What that means is I've taken a
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me. What that means is I've taken a
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me. What that means is I've taken a
third less vacation than those before
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third less vacation than those before
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third less vacation than those before
me.
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Let me just check the math real quick.
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Let me just check the math real quick.
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Let me just check the math real quick.
So, we got twice as many days plus half
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So, we got twice as many days plus half
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So, we got twice as many days plus half
as many over a third less. Yeah, I think
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as many over a third less. Yeah, I think
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as many over a third less. Yeah, I think
he's wasted. Um,
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but it's like
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it just says boobs. I don't
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it just says boobs. I don't
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it just says boobs. I don't
But it's like it's like my grandpa used
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But it's like it's like my grandpa used
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But it's like it's like my grandpa used
to say, if you love your job and you're
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to say, if you love your job and you're
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to say, if you love your job and you're
shitfaced at it, you'll never work a day
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shitfaced at it, you'll never work a day
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shitfaced at it, you'll never work a day
in your life.
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in your life.
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in your life.
Well, let's move on to the big update on
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Well, let's move on to the big update on
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Well, let's move on to the big update on
the war with Iran. Specifically, the
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the war with Iran. Specifically, the
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the war with Iran. Specifically, the
update is that I have no idea what the
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update is that I have no idea what the
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update is that I have no idea what the
is going on with the war in Iran. Nobody
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is going on with the war in Iran. Nobody
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is going on with the war in Iran. Nobody
has had any idea since day one. Trump
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has had any idea since day one. Trump
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has had any idea since day one. Trump
just started this war on us like a dog
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just started this war on us like a dog
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just started this war on us like a dog
bringing us a dead bird. We don't even
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bringing us a dead bird. We don't even
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bringing us a dead bird. We don't even
want this. Now, we have to clean this
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want this. Now, we have to clean this
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want this. Now, we have to clean this
up. And it doesn't help that everything
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up. And it doesn't help that everything
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up. And it doesn't help that everything
he says about this war is immediately
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he says about this war is immediately
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he says about this war is immediately
canceled out by the next thing he says
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canceled out by the next thing he says
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canceled out by the next thing he says
about this war. It was only going to be
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about this war. It was only going to be
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about this war. It was only going to be
four weeks, then 6 weeks, then 8 to 10
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four weeks, then 6 weeks, then 8 to 10
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four weeks, then 6 weeks, then 8 to 10
weeks. He wanted an unconditional
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weeks. He wanted an unconditional
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weeks. He wanted an unconditional
surrender, then he wanted a nuclear
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surrender, then he wanted a nuclear
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surrender, then he wanted a nuclear
deal. Then he wanted to open the
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deal. Then he wanted to open the
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deal. Then he wanted to open the
straight. Please, Mr. President, can you
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straight. Please, Mr. President, can you
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straight. Please, Mr. President, can you
stop bullshitting us and just find an
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stop bullshitting us and just find an
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stop bullshitting us and just find an
end to this war?
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end to this war?
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end to this war?
>> President Trump just told the New York
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>> President Trump just told the New York
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>> President Trump just told the New York
Post that Vice President JD Vance and
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Post that Vice President JD Vance and
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Post that Vice President JD Vance and
his delegation are in the air on the way
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his delegation are in the air on the way
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his delegation are in the air on the way
to Pakistan for talks with the Iranians.
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to Pakistan for talks with the Iranians.
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to Pakistan for talks with the Iranians.
>> Thank you. Yes, we must be nearing
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>> Thank you. Yes, we must be nearing
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>> Thank you. Yes, we must be nearing
peace. I mean, Trump makes up a lot of
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peace. I mean, Trump makes up a lot of
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peace. I mean, Trump makes up a lot of
but if he says the vice
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but if he says the vice
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but if he says the vice
president is in the air, that definitely
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president is in the air, that definitely
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president is in the air, that definitely
happened.
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happened.
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happened.
>> But that didn't happen. Vice President
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>> But that didn't happen. Vice President
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>> But that didn't happen. Vice President
JD Vance, who was preparing to fly to
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JD Vance, who was preparing to fly to
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JD Vance, who was preparing to fly to
Islamabad, never left.
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Islamabad, never left.
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Islamabad, never left.
>> Wait, what?
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>> Wait, what?
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>> Wait, what?
>> So, he just made up a flight.
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>> So, he just made up a flight.
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>> So, he just made up a flight.
Look, I know everyone who knows JD Vance
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Look, I know everyone who knows JD Vance
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Look, I know everyone who knows JD Vance
is always wishing that he was on his way
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is always wishing that he was on his way
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is always wishing that he was on his way
to another continent, but this is not
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to another continent, but this is not
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to another continent, but this is not
the time to manifest it into being. The
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the time to manifest it into being. The
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the time to manifest it into being. The
ceasefire expires today unless you're
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ceasefire expires today unless you're
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ceasefire expires today unless you're
going to extend it.
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going to extend it.
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going to extend it.
>> The president said it was highly
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>> The president said it was highly
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>> The president said it was highly
unlikely he would extend the ceasefire.
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unlikely he would extend the ceasefire.
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unlikely he would extend the ceasefire.
>> I expect to be bombing
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>> I expect to be bombing
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>> I expect to be bombing
Okay,
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Okay,
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Okay,
so JD Vance is not on a flight and Trump
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so JD Vance is not on a flight and Trump
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so JD Vance is not on a flight and Trump
is not extending the ceasefire. Okay, I
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is not extending the ceasefire. Okay, I
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is not extending the ceasefire. Okay, I
got it.
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got it.
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got it.
>> Late this afternoon, President Trump
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>> Late this afternoon, President Trump
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>> Late this afternoon, President Trump
announced he was extending the ceasefire
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announced he was extending the ceasefire
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announced he was extending the ceasefire
indefinitely.
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indefinitely.
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indefinitely.
>> Indefinitely. Oh god. So, uh, hold on.
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>> Indefinitely. Oh god. So, uh, hold on.
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>> Indefinitely. Oh god. So, uh, hold on.
Uh,
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Uh,
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Uh,
no ceasefire to ceasefire. JD Vance to
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no ceasefire to ceasefire. JD Vance to
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no ceasefire to ceasefire. JD Vance to
no JD Vance. Oh, it doesn't just says
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no JD Vance. Oh, it doesn't just says
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no JD Vance. Oh, it doesn't just says
boobs again. Jesus Christ.
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You know what?
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You know what?
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You know what?
Nice boobs. But you know what? At least
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Nice boobs. But you know what? At least
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Nice boobs. But you know what? At least
a ceasefire is better than no ceasefire.
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a ceasefire is better than no ceasefire.
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a ceasefire is better than no ceasefire.
It means that nobody's getting attacked
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It means that nobody's getting attacked
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It means that nobody's getting attacked
or shot at. So few. Actually, this is a
232
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:46,160
or shot at. So few. Actually, this is a
233
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,990
or shot at. So few. Actually, this is a
good thing. Hours after President
234
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:48,000
good thing. Hours after President
235
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,550
good thing. Hours after President
Trump's ceasefire extension, Iran
236
00:04:50,550 --> 00:04:50,560
Trump's ceasefire extension, Iran
237
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,390
Trump's ceasefire extension, Iran
attacking vessels in the Strait of
238
00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:52,400
attacking vessels in the Strait of
239
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:55,670
attacking vessels in the Strait of
Hummus, more ships fired upon and seized
240
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:55,680
Hummus, more ships fired upon and seized
241
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,909
Hummus, more ships fired upon and seized
by Iranian forces.
242
00:04:57,909 --> 00:04:57,919
by Iranian forces.
243
00:04:57,919 --> 00:05:00,710
by Iranian forces.
Iran unmistakably sending a message to
244
00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:00,720
Iran unmistakably sending a message to
245
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,070
Iran unmistakably sending a message to
President Trump. Jesus,
246
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:04,080
President Trump. Jesus,
247
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,990
President Trump. Jesus,
that's the shortest indefinite ceasefire
248
00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:06,000
that's the shortest indefinite ceasefire
249
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,150
that's the shortest indefinite ceasefire
I've ever seen.
250
00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:08,160
I've ever seen.
251
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,070
I've ever seen.
President Trump, Iran's Navy is shooting
252
00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:10,080
President Trump, Iran's Navy is shooting
253
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,189
President Trump, Iran's Navy is shooting
at ships.
254
00:05:11,189 --> 00:05:11,199
at ships.
255
00:05:11,199 --> 00:05:16,150
at ships.
>> Iran's Navy is gone. Shut the up.
256
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:16,160
>> Iran's Navy is gone. Shut the up.
257
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:20,469
>> Iran's Navy is gone. Shut the up.
JUST SHUT UP. GOD, JUST SHUT UP. JESUS.
258
00:05:20,469 --> 00:05:20,479
JUST SHUT UP. GOD, JUST SHUT UP. JESUS.
259
00:05:20,479 --> 00:05:24,150
JUST SHUT UP. GOD, JUST SHUT UP. JESUS.
Nothing you say means anything.
260
00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:24,160
Nothing you say means anything.
261
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,950
Nothing you say means anything.
>> In fact, you know what? Hold on. I know
262
00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:26,960
>> In fact, you know what? Hold on. I know
263
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,950
>> In fact, you know what? Hold on. I know
how to deal with this. Never in the
264
00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:28,960
how to deal with this. Never in the
265
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:39,749
how to deal with this. Never in the
history of warfare has an enemy suffer.
266
00:05:39,749 --> 00:05:39,759
267
00:05:39,759 --> 00:05:41,430
That
268
00:05:41,430 --> 00:05:41,440
That
269
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,469
That
that is so much better.
270
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:44,479
that is so much better.
271
00:05:44,479 --> 00:05:46,870
that is so much better.
Everyone just just enjoy this for a
272
00:05:46,870 --> 00:05:46,880
Everyone just just enjoy this for a
273
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,510
Everyone just just enjoy this for a
second. This blissful bullshitfree
274
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:49,520
second. This blissful bullshitfree
275
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,590
second. This blissful bullshitfree
silence.
276
00:05:51,590 --> 00:05:51,600
silence.
277
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,310
silence.
Oh my god. I wish we could just tune him
278
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:54,320
Oh my god. I wish we could just tune him
279
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,990
Oh my god. I wish we could just tune him
out in real life, but we can't because
280
00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:56,000
out in real life, but we can't because
281
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,469
out in real life, but we can't because
even though nothing he says matters,
282
00:05:58,469 --> 00:05:58,479
even though nothing he says matters,
283
00:05:58,479 --> 00:06:00,950
even though nothing he says matters,
unfortunately, his actions do matter.
284
00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:00,960
unfortunately, his actions do matter.
285
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,310
unfortunately, his actions do matter.
So, we have to pay attention. And right
286
00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:02,320
So, we have to pay attention. And right
287
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,390
So, we have to pay attention. And right
now, his actions what they're
288
00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:04,400
now, his actions what they're
289
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,510
now, his actions what they're
everything up.
290
00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:05,520
everything up.
291
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,189
everything up.
>> AAA reports the price of a gallon of
292
00:06:07,189 --> 00:06:07,199
>> AAA reports the price of a gallon of
293
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:09,909
>> AAA reports the price of a gallon of
regular spiked 40% since the day before
294
00:06:09,909 --> 00:06:09,919
regular spiked 40% since the day before
295
00:06:09,919 --> 00:06:11,189
regular spiked 40% since the day before
the war began.
296
00:06:11,189 --> 00:06:11,199
the war began.
297
00:06:11,199 --> 00:06:12,870
the war began.
>> Last week, the International Energy
298
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:12,880
>> Last week, the International Energy
299
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,110
>> Last week, the International Energy
Agency warned that Europe has only about
300
00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:15,120
Agency warned that Europe has only about
301
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,350
Agency warned that Europe has only about
6 weeks of jet fuel supply left. That
302
00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:17,360
6 weeks of jet fuel supply left. That
303
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,189
6 weeks of jet fuel supply left. That
supply shock tied to the straight of
304
00:06:19,189 --> 00:06:19,199
supply shock tied to the straight of
305
00:06:19,199 --> 00:06:21,430
supply shock tied to the straight of
Hormuz is hitting fertilizer markets as
306
00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:21,440
Hormuz is hitting fertilizer markets as
307
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,629
Hormuz is hitting fertilizer markets as
well. Fertilizer's going up. Do you
308
00:06:24,629 --> 00:06:24,639
well. Fertilizer's going up. Do you
309
00:06:24,639 --> 00:06:26,150
well. Fertilizer's going up. Do you
understand how bad it is when the price
310
00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:26,160
understand how bad it is when the price
311
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:30,469
understand how bad it is when the price
of is rising?
312
00:06:30,469 --> 00:06:30,479
313
00:06:30,479 --> 00:06:32,150
I wish I knew about this this morning
314
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:32,160
I wish I knew about this this morning
315
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,670
I wish I knew about this this morning
when I flushed a whole retirement
316
00:06:33,670 --> 00:06:33,680
when I flushed a whole retirement
317
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:42,710
when I flushed a whole retirement
account down the toilet.
318
00:06:42,710 --> 00:06:42,720
319
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,189
Now, maybe you don't fly or drive or
320
00:06:45,189 --> 00:06:45,199
Now, maybe you don't fly or drive or
321
00:06:45,199 --> 00:06:48,230
Now, maybe you don't fly or drive or
eat, but sooner or later, the effects of
322
00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:48,240
eat, but sooner or later, the effects of
323
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,790
eat, but sooner or later, the effects of
this war are going to get you, possibly
324
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:50,800
this war are going to get you, possibly
325
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,629
this war are going to get you, possibly
in ways you never saw coming.
326
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:52,639
in ways you never saw coming.
327
00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:54,469
in ways you never saw coming.
>> The war with Iran is having a huge
328
00:06:54,469 --> 00:06:54,479
>> The war with Iran is having a huge
329
00:06:54,479 --> 00:06:56,550
>> The war with Iran is having a huge
impact on the global condom supply.
330
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:56,560
impact on the global condom supply.
331
00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,950
impact on the global condom supply.
Condoms are made from prochemicals and
332
00:06:58,950 --> 00:06:58,960
Condoms are made from prochemicals and
333
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,629
Condoms are made from prochemicals and
the supply chain bottleneck in the
334
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:00,639
the supply chain bottleneck in the
335
00:07:00,639 --> 00:07:02,629
the supply chain bottleneck in the
street of Hormuz is forcing the world's
336
00:07:02,629 --> 00:07:02,639
street of Hormuz is forcing the world's
337
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:05,110
street of Hormuz is forcing the world's
top condom producer to raise prices by
338
00:07:05,110 --> 00:07:05,120
top condom producer to raise prices by
339
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,589
top condom producer to raise prices by
20 to 30%.
340
00:07:07,589 --> 00:07:07,599
20 to 30%.
341
00:07:07,599 --> 00:07:10,629
20 to 30%.
>> Well, well, well.
342
00:07:10,629 --> 00:07:10,639
>> Well, well, well.
343
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,469
>> Well, well, well.
Looks like that Trojan I've had in my
344
00:07:12,469 --> 00:07:12,479
Looks like that Trojan I've had in my
345
00:07:12,479 --> 00:07:14,550
Looks like that Trojan I've had in my
wallet since 2002 is finally going to
346
00:07:14,550 --> 00:07:14,560
wallet since 2002 is finally going to
347
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,589
wallet since 2002 is finally going to
get some action
348
00:07:17,589 --> 00:07:17,599
get some action
349
00:07:17,599 --> 00:07:20,710
get some action
when I sell it on eBay.
350
00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:20,720
when I sell it on eBay.
351
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,110
when I sell it on eBay.
But a 30% spike in condom. This is a big
352
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:23,120
But a 30% spike in condom. This is a big
353
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,790
But a 30% spike in condom. This is a big
deal. I mean Jerome Powell of the
354
00:07:24,790 --> 00:07:24,800
deal. I mean Jerome Powell of the
355
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,230
deal. I mean Jerome Powell of the
Federal Reserve Bank is already
356
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:26,240
Federal Reserve Bank is already
357
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,070
Federal Reserve Bank is already
suggesting that people quote do more
358
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:28,080
suggesting that people quote do more
359
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,909
suggesting that people quote do more
hand stuff.
360
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:31,919
361
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:33,189
And remember every day that the state of
362
00:07:33,189 --> 00:07:33,199
And remember every day that the state of
363
00:07:33,199 --> 00:07:35,350
And remember every day that the state of
Hormuz remains closed the global energy
364
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:35,360
Hormuz remains closed the global energy
365
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,749
Hormuz remains closed the global energy
crisis only gets worse. Which is why
366
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:37,759
crisis only gets worse. Which is why
367
00:07:37,759 --> 00:07:41,110
crisis only gets worse. Which is why
today, Earth Day, I just want to give a
368
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:41,120
today, Earth Day, I just want to give a
369
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,670
today, Earth Day, I just want to give a
big shout out to President Trump. Truly,
370
00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:43,680
big shout out to President Trump. Truly,
371
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,070
big shout out to President Trump. Truly,
because thanks to your war, the benefits
372
00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:46,080
because thanks to your war, the benefits
373
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,230
because thanks to your war, the benefits
of switching to renewable energy have
374
00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:48,240
of switching to renewable energy have
375
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:51,189
of switching to renewable energy have
never been clearer. Now, we can all see
376
00:07:51,189 --> 00:07:51,199
never been clearer. Now, we can all see
377
00:07:51,199 --> 00:07:53,670
never been clearer. Now, we can all see
the risks of anchoring the entire global
378
00:07:53,670 --> 00:07:53,680
the risks of anchoring the entire global
379
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,830
the risks of anchoring the entire global
economy to one narrow waterway in the
380
00:07:55,830 --> 00:07:55,840
economy to one narrow waterway in the
381
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,589
economy to one narrow waterway in the
Middle East that stays open or closed
382
00:07:57,589 --> 00:07:57,599
Middle East that stays open or closed
383
00:07:57,599 --> 00:07:59,510
Middle East that stays open or closed
based on the impulses of a deranged
384
00:07:59,510 --> 00:07:59,520
based on the impulses of a deranged
385
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,990
based on the impulses of a deranged
ruler. No, not that one. There you go.
386
00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:02,000
ruler. No, not that one. There you go.
387
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:09,029
ruler. No, not that one. There you go.
Yeah.
388
00:08:09,029 --> 00:08:09,039
389
00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:10,710
You want to know what the world would be
390
00:08:10,710 --> 00:08:10,720
You want to know what the world would be
391
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,309
You want to know what the world would be
like right now if we weren't held
392
00:08:12,309 --> 00:08:12,319
like right now if we weren't held
393
00:08:12,319 --> 00:08:14,309
like right now if we weren't held
hostage by fossil fuels? Here's a little
394
00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:14,319
hostage by fossil fuels? Here's a little
395
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,150
hostage by fossil fuels? Here's a little
taste. Hey, did you hear the street of
396
00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:16,160
taste. Hey, did you hear the street of
397
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,309
taste. Hey, did you hear the street of
Hermuz is closed? The street of Hermuz?
398
00:08:18,309 --> 00:08:18,319
Hermuz is closed? The street of Hermuz?
399
00:08:18,319 --> 00:08:19,749
Hermuz is closed? The street of Hermuz?
Isn't that the waterway that has no
400
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:19,759
Isn't that the waterway that has no
401
00:08:19,759 --> 00:08:21,749
Isn't that the waterway that has no
effect on my life? Yep, that's the one.
402
00:08:21,749 --> 00:08:21,759
effect on my life? Yep, that's the one.
403
00:08:21,759 --> 00:08:24,550
effect on my life? Yep, that's the one.
See you later.
404
00:08:24,550 --> 00:08:24,560
See you later.
405
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,309
See you later.
So, President Trump, thank you. Your
406
00:08:26,309 --> 00:08:26,319
So, President Trump, thank you. Your
407
00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:27,990
So, President Trump, thank you. Your
thoughtless war is already spurring
408
00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:28,000
thoughtless war is already spurring
409
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,510
thoughtless war is already spurring
countries around the world to invest
410
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:29,520
countries around the world to invest
411
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,830
countries around the world to invest
more in wind, solar, and all the other
412
00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:31,840
more in wind, solar, and all the other
413
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,430
more in wind, solar, and all the other
forms of energy that you would probably
414
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:33,440
forms of energy that you would probably
415
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,469
forms of energy that you would probably
refer to as gay. Now,
416
00:08:36,469 --> 00:08:36,479
refer to as gay. Now,
417
00:08:36,479 --> 00:08:38,149
refer to as gay. Now,
I don't think that was your plan when
418
00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:38,159
I don't think that was your plan when
419
00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:39,990
I don't think that was your plan when
you started this war because I'm pretty
420
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,000
you started this war because I'm pretty
421
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,509
you started this war because I'm pretty
sure you didn't have a plan at all. But
422
00:08:41,509 --> 00:08:41,519
sure you didn't have a plan at all. But
423
00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:43,909
sure you didn't have a plan at all. But
still, you have by pure chance helped
424
00:08:43,909 --> 00:08:43,919
still, you have by pure chance helped
425
00:08:43,919 --> 00:08:46,070
still, you have by pure chance helped
the Earth at this point. You're
426
00:08:46,070 --> 00:08:46,080
the Earth at this point. You're
427
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,030
the Earth at this point. You're
basically Captain Planet.
428
00:08:49,030 --> 00:08:49,040
basically Captain Planet.
429
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,030
basically Captain Planet.
Except if there are any records of you
430
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:51,040
Except if there are any records of you
431
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:52,310
Except if there are any records of you
spending time with younger women,
432
00:08:52,310 --> 00:08:52,320
spending time with younger women,
433
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,750
spending time with younger women,
they've probably been redacted by the
434
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:53,760
they've probably been redacted by the
435
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,190
they've probably been redacted by the
DOJ. And and look, we know by now that
436
00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:57,200
DOJ. And and look, we know by now that
437
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,110
DOJ. And and look, we know by now that
praise means nothing to you unless it's
438
00:08:59,110 --> 00:08:59,120
praise means nothing to you unless it's
439
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,269
praise means nothing to you unless it's
accompanied by a trophy. So allow me to
440
00:09:01,269 --> 00:09:01,279
accompanied by a trophy. So allow me to
441
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,829
accompanied by a trophy. So allow me to
present to you Donald Trump with the
442
00:09:03,829 --> 00:09:03,839
present to you Donald Trump with the
443
00:09:03,839 --> 00:09:06,150
present to you Donald Trump with the
first ever
444
00:09:06,150 --> 00:09:06,160
first ever
445
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,470
first ever
Earth Day award for being a reckless
446
00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:08,480
Earth Day award for being a reckless
447
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,230
Earth Day award for being a reckless
idiot who accidentally did something
448
00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:10,240
idiot who accidentally did something
449
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:15,509
idiot who accidentally did something
good.
450
00:09:15,509 --> 00:09:15,519
451
00:09:15,519 --> 00:09:19,399
Congratulations, sir.
39036
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