Original subtitles

hi everybody welcome to la waves basketball yes this is not your own

personal food trough what are you talking about this is shareable it's a

value pack isla we can't keep this seat empty all season it's a total waste of

money no that makes us look bad jake from state farm could be sitting here

the oh hey big fan this seat will not be empty all season okay

Do you think Allie's just going to come storming in here one night saying she's

sorry and beg to come back? Wake up, dum -dum. Not going to happen.

She's gone. As soon as you get that through your thick skull, better off

all be.

Have some donuts. Get out of my face.

You're lucky I have a second one.

Tie game.

Fifteen seconds left. Who is Norm Stinson going to give the last shot to?

Point! Point! Double action!

Give. Flashes on the wing. Gets the ball.

Splits the double tee. Puts up the shot.

And gets the roll!

What a call by Coach Stinson!

This kid's really stepping up and becoming a leader on this team.

What the fuck?

Oh, my God!

Oh,

my God!

Wham, bam, cam! Rude!

Oh, what is it, 2016?

Oh, it's like some prime Marcus out there. There's always prime Marcus out

there. You know, I got to say, when I saw Dyson taking that last shot, I was

like, what the fuck is Norm doing? Doesn't he realize we got Marcus

the squad?

Yeah, we got the dub. That double teamed me all night anyway.

Hey, I like that attitude.

Everybody's got to pass the torch at some point. You know what I'm saying?

All right, I'm missing Lizzie's birthday, but I want to get together

Let's get the kids together. Yeah. All right. Good job, everybody. Good job.

Yeah, well, I told Lisa that silk is a very clingy fabric, so she better start

wearing underwear.

Yeah, I know.

Jesus Christ, Sandy!

The CFO of our company cannot be seen in the background of a reality TV show

with no pants on. Go peel your asses. And get a spray tan. Have some self

-respect, for God's sake. Why did you pause it? Turn it off. And how is this

basic cable? Oh, you can see his balls.

Oh, hey!

This is my personal life and, frankly, none of any of your business. Well,

you've just made it our business, haven't you? Lizzie watches this shit

friends. You want every Yenta and Brentwood to know you've got a lopsided

sack? Sandy, you are responsible for the financial health of this team.

If everyone thinks that you're the next Tom Sandoval, it's a bad look.

Time out. I got this, okay? Listen to me. Who wouldn't want to be on a Bravo

show but not like this?

I told you guys that I met Andy Cohen.

Yes. Andy, you have to fix this. Okay, fine. I will talk to Charlie. Could you

please stop replaying it? Turn it off.

It's going back and forth. That's right. It's a boomerang now. How is it doing

that?

L .A. is down one, but has the ball.

Curious to see what Norm Stinson draws up here. Okay, this is us. We got this

game, guys. Travis, you're coming out for the ball. Marcus, you run the

to the wing. Everyone thinks it's going to him. Travis, you fake it hard to him.

Hit Dyson for the back door. Got it? Pause. Easy bucket. Let's go. All right,

hands in. Waves on three. One, two, three. Yo,

hit me. I'm going to be okay.

But Coach said give it to Dyson. Coach?

Man, Coach will be here in ten minutes. Just give me the fucking route.

Coburn inbounds to Bug.

Marcus and Dyson look to get open.

Travis hits Marcus. He has to rush a three.

No good.

And L .A. loses.

Not a bad idea letting Marcus take the last shot, but you gotta wonder why they

didn't ride the hot hand in Dyson.

The hell was that?

Hey.

How was work? God, it was amazing. Harry Hamlin let me try his famous spaghetti

sauce, and he fed it to me on a spoon.

And Lisa was like, oh, don't make me jealous. And I said, jealous? You're

to be single.

Wow, that's cool.

Could we talk for a sec?

Yeah, of course.

I am so happy for you, and I love our life, specifically our home life.

So do I. Right? So I was hoping that you could tell Lisa that...

They can't film here in our home anymore.

Oh, so it's about the acne on your butt?

What? Are people talking about that?

Yeah, yeah. I guess it's about that now, too.

Okay? I can't be in the background of a reality show, okay? It's too

embarrassing.

Embarrassing?

Wow, this is like my dream.

And I am so glad that you love your new job and that you feel fulfilled, but...

Can you maybe see that it's not also my dream?

Okay. Yeah, okay.

I'll tell the producers that we can't shoot here anymore.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yo!

Driving through the old hood. Figured I'd just pop in. You live 45 minutes

Not a thing. How my two favorite queens doing, huh? Should we make some mojitos?

Have a kiki?

Are you wearing makeup? Ah, Charlie. My diva. Have a kiki? Stop saying kiki.

Okay.

There's no cameras here.

Are you serious?

I went through full glam for that. It's like 400 bucks. Oh, my God. I gotta go.

They did a terrible job.

Are your kids in the car? It's fine. They have their tablets. Oh, my God.

Mm. Mm -hmm. I like the lemon. Mm -hmm. Well, the chocolate tastes like a

hostess cupcake.

No. I'm kind of feeling the one with all three combined.

Oh, God.

Ned, that's my fifth cup.

Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt.

Dessert, I guess, but we got to talk.

I should probably get to work. Plus, what Ness just did made me real sick.

Might be done with Kate forever.

Goodbye to me, too. Okay.

We got big problems in the locker room.

Oh, because Brielle liked Dyson, too.

Travis, some people are just meant to be alone, and they live very full lives.

What? No.

Me and Brielle are in love.

Okay, look.

Agreed. Yeah, it's for a magazine cover. Which one?

None yet, but I was hoping you could hook me up. I could call a friend at

Nast, maybe.

Condé Nast -y?

That sounds tight.

Travis, what do you need? Look, Marcus is not feeling coach at all, all right?

And although I like Norm, and I've always wanted a firm yet loving father

figure, I already have that in Marcus, okay? I don't know who to listen to. Can

you just tell me what to do, Mama? I mean, Isla. Okay, is this about what

happened at the end of the game last night?

Marcus missed a shot he's made a thousand times. It happened. No, that's

what happened. Dyson was supposed to get the ball. Marcus changed the play.

And Norm is mad?

Marcus ran sprints all practice.

Oh, shit. Marcus does not run sprints.

Yeah, we're at Def Jam 2.

Isla, you got this? Let me know if you need me.

Do you want some cake?

Uh, I'm gluten -free, but I'll take some for my snake.

Oh, hey, Allie. Great news.

You're headed north.

Aren't we already north? Please.

Toronto's the Miami of Canada.

No, there's a First Nations boy at a yellow knife who's already seven feet

in grade five.

Sounds like it might be a glandular issue. Is he okay?

That's what you're going to find out next weekend.

Oh, I actually have... Well, I had an event that weekend.

Oh, yeah? What is it?

Tyler's wedding. But I actually doubt I'm still invited, so... Well, I'm sure

won't be your last.

Anyway, get your tire info to my assistant. She'll get you fitted for

chains. I'm driving?

Can't land a plane in that weather.

But I can drive?

Don't brake on the black guy.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Okay, stop.

Wow. You're lean, but really out of shape, huh?

I have kids, asshole.

I don't have the luxury of playing grab -ass at Crunch all day. Crunch?

I have an Equinox Global Pass.

Listen, you may remember I procured a loan from the team in order to...

expedite my release from rehab.

Yeah, and you've missed the first three payments.

Yeah, and I've heard all your zesty comments about it, too.

Here, consider us paid up.

Where did you get this much money?

From your mom.

Ha ha.

Very funny.

But did you talk to her, though?

Jesus Christ.

When did she get back from Mar -a -Lago?

Marcus, can I talk to you for a second? Fine.

Maybe it'll distract me from aching knees.

after your coach had me run his sprints for the last two hours.

Well, technically, he's your coach. Yeah, but you didn't even come to me

hiring him. That's not how a good organization treats a star, especially

star is Marcus Winfield. You're right. I should have talked to you. But the good

news is, Norm is a great coach. You just have to get to know him.

In fact, the three of us should go have dinner. Jack, you'll set it up with Ray.

All right.

But go to Roy.

Ray's stuck in space on Blue Origin.

Day 46.

Say a prayer.

Okay, well, we're gonna... I could... Nope.

I'll get a new phone.

Hey, have you had a chance to look at this feeding chart?

Oh, yeah.

I sat your cousins next to my aunt because she's from New York.

My cousins aren't from New York. No, I know, but, you know, they have a lot in

common, culturally.

I so appreciate you trying to make my Jewish family feel comfortable.

Oh, yeah. How do I look for my dinner with Marcus and Norm?

Does this say peacemaker?

Big time. Very Camp David.

Feels like a political reference.

I don't get it, but I'll take it. Okay, understood.

How are you feeling about the dinner?

Like I should have done it sooner. I mean, I want to get off to a good start

this season, and if Marcus and Norm aren't vibing, I can kiss the ring

Well, I am sure that you will bring these two together over a succulent...

prime rib, or there's also a short rib. I checked out the menu online. I'm so

hungry. This wedding diet is killing me. Honey, if you look better than me at

our wedding, I will run away bride you. You have said this several times.

Have fun. I'll be here eating ice chips.

I'm so excited for you to try this restaurant. Everything is amazing.

Oh, no, I ate it already.

What?

Why? Because I had a colonoscopy this morning, and I've been on nothing but

broth and soup prep for 48 hours.

I just ate a lot.

The guy at Fatburger just shook his head. Doesn't matter.

The point of this dinner is for you and Marcus to get on the same page. Don't

worry. We're going to be on the same page.

Oh, there he comes. Marcus, thank you so much for coming.

Sorry I'm late. I had dinner at home. My chef does cocoa by Tuesday.

You both had dinner? I literally pre -ordered three large format platters.

take mine to go.

Oh, God. You know what? Whatever. You're here now. That's all that matters.

Guys, I'm so happy we're doing this so we can clear the air and have a great

season, right?

Oh, we were having a great season when I was getting the ball. Yeah, well, it's

a long season. Hey, Norm, let's tell Marcus what a great value he is to the

team.

Okay, look, Marcus, I get it. You've hit some pretty big shots for your team,

whatever they needed it. Exactly.

And you're still the big dog in the locker room. I know that.

But this is about championships.

And when you don't want to play that I call, you kind of screw up my whole

goddamn plan.

Oh, you got a plan.

Yeah, that's right. And you got to get on board with it. I knew you were trying

to cut me out. This is on you.

I'm out of here.

Chef Greg made profiteroles.

Marcus.

Norm. What was that?

You're supposed to get him to like you. I'm sorry. I blew it. I was trying to do

a tough love thing.

I saw Ted talk about boundaries. Didn't watch the whole thing.

Survivor was coming on. Okay, well, it didn't work, did it? And it made him

madder than he was minutes ago, and now I'm mad. Look, I can fix this. How?

We got the big road trip coming up. That's when teams bond, okay? There's no

family, no distractions.

I'll pack the travel scrabble. Before you know it, it's all going to be

copacetic, which is a hell of a scrabble word.

You can just box all that up. I don't need pork, though. What? There's not one

thing of pork on there. That's not pork. What is that? It's a seafood towel. Oh,

oh.

Bring it back.

And the nightmare road trip comes to an end as the waves get blown out in Miami.

Marcus, you guys just went 0 -6 on the road trip. Why did Coach Stinson leave

you on the bench in the fourth?

You'd have to ask him.

I'm not the coach.

I'm just the franchise's all -time leading scorer.

Did you go to the locker room early to prove a point?

I had a headache.

Okay, I'm going to say this as kindly as I know how.

Norm is a fucking loser.

He sucks.

He is an anchor around our necks. He is dead weight. And I want to say I told

you so, but I'm a good guy.

The season just started. I get it. It looks bad.

And you're going to take a bit of an L. We'll take a bit of an L if we let him

go. But Jesus, we're fucking 3 -12. We're supposed to be contenders for the

championship, not the lottery.

Tyler, they're right, okay? I mean, this is bad. At this rate, we are going to

end up... Wait a second.

Okay, he's gonna be a while. Look, we gotta do this now so we can salvage the

season. No, I hired Norm for a reason. I know he can do this.

And if Allie was here, she'd agree with me, too. Well, thank God she's gone.

Look, you're wrong. Just fucking admit it. Even Dad would admit when he was

wrong.

You know what, Cam? You're right.

Ha!

62 and 20.

That's actually not that bad. No, you did it backwards.

Somehow upside down, too.

Oh, hey, thanks for coming in, Norm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't worry. I know

here. I blew it, right? I blew it with Marcus. Norm. You have to respect me,

we're on a losing streak.

You got to fire me. Norm, stop talking and let me say something.

Just sit.

Okay.

Okay, yes, there are a lot of people that would like to see you get fired,

that's not happening today.

Okay. Do you remember my mom? Yeah, yeah, proud, beautiful woman.

Didn't need the second facelift, you know what I mean? But she and your dad,

they were a great couple.

My dad cheated on her like 500 million times. Yes, he did. Yeah, but despite my

dad's mistakes, he loved my mom. And he did whatever he could to keep the family

together. And so when my mom started to feel really neglected, he'd do whatever

he could to make her feel like she was his number one girl.

And I am talking diamonds, a convertible, a house in Palm Springs. Do

what I'm getting at here?

You want me to buy Marcus a car?

I mean, I'm underwater.

Norm, Norm, I want you to make Marcus feel like your number one girl.

Uh, I get it.

Yeah.

But whatever happens, don't tell him about that analogy, because he'll just

fixate on being the woman.

I get it.

Halftime in L .A., Marcus Winfield leads all scorers with 18.

Best we've looked in weeks, and we're still losing.

Well, at least Norm's getting Marcus' ball.

Isla, our fleshman, a .k .a. the fleshman, toilet king of Orange County.

Hey, Al, how are you? Oh, good, good, good. Now that I am front row, center

court.

Yeah, did Allie do that?

No, Allie was a waste of time. I think she just wanted to hook up with me, I

think. I don't know. Cam made it happen. He's my boy now.

Ness, Ness, why don't you go get him some swag?

Yeah. No.

You know what? We have a sweatshirt, no sleeves, covered in sequins. Screams

your name. Oh, my God.

I feel seen, man. Ness, I see you.

Winfield brings it up. He's having his best game of the season.

The coach has been calling his number all night, and Marcus has been

George! Oh, but he's called for the charge.

That means two, two, two. No, you've got to be kidding me.

That's terrible.

I'm serious, Marcus.

Give me the ball. I'm not kidding, Marcus. Now give me the ball. I'm going

kick you up. Give me the ball.

Back off, Marcus. Back off. My man. What the hell was that?

That's not a charge.

You can burn shit in your eye. I get that you're the worst ref in the league,

but seriously, how can you make that call?

That's a tech. I don't give a shit about a tech. You can't make that call on

Marcus Winfield. You're just lucky you get to watch him play.

Oh, wait, I forgot.

You're blind.

You put some respect on his name, you dumb bastard.

That's it.

You're out of here. Good, because I can't stand to watch you work. You dumb

assholes. Give me that.

Oh, no, no.

It's winning.

Yeah. Oh, shit.

That's the good one, too.

Hey, man.

You knock on my side, boy. What the hell?

Charlie, what is going on? I thought we said no more shooting. Let me explain.

Hold on. If you're going to talk, we're going to need to mic you. No, no. Do not

come near me. Look, I told the producers that we couldn't shoot here anymore,

but they loved our drama so much, they just wanted to get a little bit more of

it. So just tell me to kick everybody out and be mad. No, I am mad, okay? And

I'm not part of this show. All right. We'll boom in. Do not boom. Stop it. I

don't want to be a part of it. Oh, fuck off.

Come on. Keep rolling. We'll calculate it at the end. Which one of you filmed

butt? Oh, shit!

Can you excuse us, please?

First they told us to go into the living room. Then they put us in here. Where

do you want us to set up? I don't care. Anywhere but my bedroom would be great.

Thank you.

Sandy, I know that you're mad, all right? But we are catching on.

People love seeing your ass. John Ham played it on Watch What Happens last

night. So your plan was to have a fight on camera? Have you gone insane?

This is how we make it. If this plays out, we could get our own show.

I was thinking we could call it Groom Me. Then it could be about us opening a

dog salon. I have.

A job.

And I thought you wanted to be an actor, not a reality star. Come on, every

actor wants to be a reality star now, all right? And if this works, we could

on Traitors. No, I don't... No, still no. I would be very good on that show

I would win, but that's not what I signed up for. Well, this is what I

right? And I'm not giving it up.

So you would rather be on TV than be with me?

That is...

No, look, all I know is I don't want to be with someone who would make me

choose.

Then I guess we want different things.

Wow, I guess we do.

So this is it?

Yeah, I think so.

Hey, Charlie.

Yeah. They need you.

Okay.

Goodbye, Sandy.

Hey, man.

There's a baked potato bar at Crafty.

Thank you.

Hey, how you doing, Norm?

I'm in a little pain, but...

I think it's all superficial.

No, that ligament is gone, dog. Look, his shin is just floating in blood right

now. It's crazy.

Son of a bitch. Please, tell me that we won at least.

515. Good. I mean, you went psycho out there. I know in today's world it's not

cool when a white guy just totally loses it, but it was awesome. So I could do

that again. I got rage.

I was born with one technical.

I hate the world. Oh, no, no, no.

It's fine. But Marcus did have his best game of the season, and I think it had a

lot to do with your performance.

Well, I just had to let him know that he's my best girl.

Yeah.

Yeah, you need your best girl. Yeah.

I gotta go.

Um, rest up, Norm. All right.

Marcus, hey, I don't know if you heard, but my son's bar mitzvah is approaching,

and I was hoping you could sign, like... 300 yarmulkes by Saturday? Hey, Doc,

let me get you real quick. I'll just forge them. We'll see if he's available.

You know the ref made the right call?

Hell yeah.

That was a charge big time.

Thanks for having my back out there.

Marcus, look, you're the best player that I ever had the honor of coaching.

But I gotta get these young guys ready for when the playoffs come.

So they have your back.

Even Marcus Winfield can't win alone.

It'll be close.

I'm with you, Coach.

I'm with you, Marcus.

Yeah. Hold on, hold on. One favor, please.

Carry me to the toilet.

It's right around there.

Yeah, just drop me off and then come back in 20 minutes.

And that'll do it from Ally Bank Arena.

L .A. cruises to an easy win, 104 .89.

Yeah, man.

Why are you mad they won? I'm not mad.

I'm not even acting mad.

It's complicated.

Here. Actually, I'm good. It's my mom's birthday tomorrow, and I promised I'd

take her to brunch.

Oh, come on. It's like a cup of coffee.

Come on. Okay, okay, okay.

We are looking to diversify our sponsorships, and we think your caribou

exactly the type of jerky we've been missing.

Allie.

Allie. Oh, my God. Wait, Isla, what are you doing here? Are you okay?

I'm here for you.

Isla Gordon, I know you're not interrupting a meeting with two of our

important sponsors.

Allie, I've been a fucking horrible friend, and I'm not fucking leaving here

unless it's with you, and nothing will make me fucking change my mind. Hey.

Use your church words.

They don't really swear up in here.

This is outrageous.

Wayne Leaf, I am so sorry for this disgusting display.

Oh, shut up, Magnus. You know, you have a mouth like a Saskatoon lumberjack.

Allie, I should have treated you better.

Anything I do without you just feels wrong.

Also, when my brothers say something dumb, I have no one to roll my eyes

And I love you like a sister.

I mean, probably more than a sister, because if I... I had one, she'd be a

bitch.

I can't believe you came up here.

You know, especially with the weather grounding all small aircraft.

Did you buy commercial?

First class. They sat me near the bathroom and it smelled awful.

Ellie, if you come back to L .A., I will kick Cam out of your office and you can

redecorate. I'm still not going to use any of your shitty high school friends,

though. Of course not.

They all suck.

Magnus, I say this with absolutely zero respect.

I quit.

You're making a huge mistake that I won't ever forgive.

Now someone help pack up Allie's things and get him a car service to the

airport.

Thank you for saving me from this shithole. I miss you so much. And I am

getting married without my date of honor. Oh, that's right. Big week. Your

wedding. Boston's coming into town.

Right.

Go to bed.