Original subtitles

- Beverly Hills is home to some of the most wealthy

and powerful people in the world.

They drive the finest cars,

shop at the best boutiques,

and they live in the most outrageous homes.

They also have access to the most exclusive

and high end erotic club, ever.

I created that club, it's called Snctm.

(upbeat electronic music)

Snctm is a secretive society

where we do a black tie masquerade,

private dinner parties, and an erotic theater.

It's a place for my members

to explore their wildest fantasies,

and learn about their true sexual selves.

Welcome to my world.

(upbeat electronic music)

- [Woman] I have some like, gnarly marks

from being spanked and stuff.

- What am I gonna do with you, Jacque?

What's like the craziest kind of BDSM experience

that you've had?

Do you like to be choked?

- Oh yeah.

- [Man] Have you ever been choked out?

- Um, almost.

- And was that something you kind of enjoyed,

or were you like, what the fuck are you doing?

- No I loved it.

It was an ex of mine.

- [Man] You do, you loved it.

- It was a lot of fun.

- You liked it.

- I feel like sexuality is kind of a taboo thing,

and alternative interests, sexually, especially,

and I feel like Snctm allows people

to start that conversation a little bit more.

- What's the most extreme kind of fetish experience

you've personally had?

- To be honest I never really had an extreme fetish.

- Come on.

- I never did.

- Come on.

- That's crazy, really.

- [Jacque] That's such bullshit.

- [Man] Okay, what's the craziest?

- Yeah, I mean I like to watch all kinds of fetishes,

I have like this fetish for fetish,

so I like to watch and create things.

I watch some porn, sometimes,

and like, I get like ideas from there,

which are put into the shows.

I also like to talk to some of the guests sometimes,

and like see like what's their fetishes,

what they like, would like to have,

what they would like to see,

so I kind of like trying to create this vision,

this fantasy world for them.

I like to see different fetishes,

and then, you know base those stories

around those fetishes.

But never anything crazy that I like really did.

- Tied up, spanked?

- I'm not into that at all.

- None of it at all.

- No.

- You look nervous.

- [Alina] What are you thinking about?

- No I'm not nervous, but I think I'm pretty,

vanilla when it comes to fetish.

- I don't think so, I know what you're into.

- I don't know what he's talking about.

- I mean you like to eat ass and pussy and--

- Oh, Nick.

- And like anal, and all that.

- That's not a fetish like--

- But that is fairly advanced.

I mean you've got a fairly advanced palate,

you know, you do.

I would not call you vanilla.

- With Snctm I've learned that it's good to have desires,

and it's okay to be uncertain whether your partner

will want those desires or not,

and if she doesn't, or he doesn't,

then it's fine, you've said it.

And it goes for anything from different positions,

to bringing other people in your relationship.

There's a wide range of desires and fetishes

and kinks that everybody has.

- So this is very interesting, because I'm the same.

I would consider myself pretty vanilla, myself.

Like I am, I love sex,

and I love sexuality,

and like I can tie someone up and I enjoy it,

but like, I don't need it.

Snctm has begun a conversation about the exploration

of our fantasies and our desires,

and sexuality is still incredibly repressed,

and I think Sanctum represents the opposite of repression.

And this is weird, because as the people who run this thing,

we're all pretty--

- Prude.

- I have an incredible life, and it's beautiful,

and I'm grateful as fuck.

My philosophy on dating right now lierally,

is just to be real,

and just be open and be honest, and that's what I'm doing.

And I'm finding that I'm with some really beautiful,

intelligent, wonderful people

who seem to really care for me, and I care for them,

and I can feel connections happen,

people get close to me,

but I'm not committing myself to anybody.

There's a part of me that feels uncomfortable

or bad about it, because I know

that I'm not really giving anyone my heart.

But there's really not a day that goes by,

that I don't wish that I was falling asleep

with Melissa, and waking up with my kids upstairs.

I found my person 20 years ago,

but we both changed so much.

We love each other deeply and we always will,

and we talk about that thing of getting back together,

but I don't know if it's possible.

(upbeat electronic music)

- We're both very different.

We have like this,

we connect in a different dimension,

is what I was saying.

I can talk with you about things

that I can't talk with other people about.

- Like what?

Like what, our crazy stuff at night?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

- My boyfriend is Eyal,

he is from Israel.

We've been together for almost five years.

Bread looks good.

- I know you like it.

- We know, always when we go to restaurants,

if the bread is good--

- So everything else is good.

I met Alina through a friend.

Her ex-business partner, she was a friend of mine before,

and Alina used to have a boyfriend

and I was just waiting for her and him to separate.

Waiting on the side, waiting, waiting, waiting,

until the day came, and then we dated.

- I was following the shoes, remember?

Like the ballet shoes?

And they supposed to be black, they turned out blue,

so I have to like fix it, like now.

- I saw the painting at the apartment.

That's okay.

- I don't even know like what to do for that.

- Stop being so stressed on this, come on.

- It's what it is, it's stressful.

- Yeah, but it always works very good, everyone's happy.

- I know.

- I know that a lot of people

think of her as like very cold.

She seems very unintimidated,

at the beginning, she's very stiff,

but I mean I see her differently.

When she's home she's like a marshmallow.

What is gonna be in the party?

Jonathan's working?

- Jonathan is working,

Arya, Jacque, Holly, the usual.

Tonight is the big Allegma Creatives,

our big main party,

so yeah, there's a lot of like stress.

- What else are you planning?

- So it's gonna use the unicorn painting, the ballerina,

and then later for the main show, I have a piano player.

So he's gonna play piano,

and then the ballerina comes in, and she does like a dance.

I will try to do it on the piano.

- Really?

What is he a porn star or

just some piano player?

What?

Who's gonna be the painter?

Johnathan?

- Yeah, I'm making him a unicorn,

and then he's gonna paint like a picture.

- I should make something like

on his dick, like with a brush,

like an extension or something.

- The best part of the relationship with Alina is the trust.

We trust each other, I trust her 100%.

We're different, but we also a lot of similarity.

She just understands me and I understand her.

So where do you find all these people?

- I know, right?

- I want to go to the party, Johnathan.

- We have another event out here in Los Angeles tonight,

and it's always a great time, but there are times

that I have these roles at Snctm that I'm not happy with,

and playing those roles.

You already know Alina.

She wants me to do a few things I don't want to do,

and she's you know,

pushing for it, and I'm pushing back.

- Are you comfortable telling me like what,

what it is that she wants you to do?

- I don't think your mind would be able to wrap around it.

Being in a relationship with Tracy,

while I do these Snctm events is,

pretty hard.

I try to keep them two separately,

and I always have to kind of sugarcoat everything.

- I mean it can't be worse than

you being in the hot tub with the naked girls the other day.

- Where are my floaties?

She's actually had me do far worse things.

- You know she asked me to come, right?

- Really?

- Why do you look so, uh, stressed out about that?

- There's a reason why I don't invite you,

because I know you too well.

- I really didn't even know about this world,

until him, I've never had a threesome.

I've never done anything publicly, like I'm

for all intents and purposes of a word,

like a conservative.

But I feel like I want to find these things out,

you need to know,

even if it's gonna hurt me, like I need to know.

- There are certain things that

are gonna happen that you might not like.

I have roles to play,

and I have things that I've got to take care of.

So, you've been warned.

Ok, what else do we have to do?

- When we do a masquerade there's a lot to think about.

Whether it's LA or New York, I've got work to do,

and I'm trying to be set up the day before, already.

That one has a lip gloss mark on it.

I'm gonna text Sonja to make sure.

I have everything that I need by the day before,

so on the day of,

I hit my checklist,

and all the way leading up to 10 o'clock.

Ice is here?

- Yep.

- It just got delivered?

- He already delivered it.

- You have a Sharpie for that?

Okay that's good.

- You think you'll be able to like, stand still for a while?

- Yes.

- The parties in L.A. they're just like so much better.

The energy, the weather is like the furnace.

It's a different feel.

So it's very easy to find just more open-minded girls,

that are just more like,

you know a little bigger boobies,

and they're much more like, cutesy girls,

more easy going I guess.

Like how LA is.

- Bring my fucking pens.

I'm gonna need like at least three.

For myself.

- No, actually we can't have people drinking.

- I'm usually not (muffled).

- I can leave, it's not a big deal.

It's okay.

- Worst thing that can happen, we had this situation before,

where I had a lamp, she was part of the show,

she's supposed to stand still,

and then there was a performance happening around her.

She had one too many drinks I guess,

so she was like, wobbly, she couldn't even stand.

- So first you stay lamp, for like,

a little bit longer.

It's not easy to be a lamp.

So, this is was like really one of the bad situations,

where the lamp was like,

I was scared that she's gonna fall or something.

Please, drink you water, no alcohol, okay?

- You know about us through Donna.

- No, I know about you through kind of everybody in LA.

- Why have we not talked before this moment?

- Probably because both of our lives are insane.

- Okay.

Neil Strauss is a writer,

and has forums and conversations around sexuality,

and what it is to be a man,

and how to, sort of, navigate through

the rules that have been set up around sexuality.

This butt. -That butt.

It's all about this butt right here.

So he's knowledgeable,

and we got to know each other a bit before the party.

I don't know what's right or wrong,

I just know that,

the sex, the endless stream of sexuality,

is like eating so much lobster,

and burgers and mashed potatoes, and never getting full.

- It's a black hole.

- Yeah, it's clear to me now that that's not what I want.

Now the other side of the coin is, is monogamy.

- Right.

- And, you know, that is also

hard for me.

- Right, 'cause you're gonna be there,

and you're gonna wanna go taste the lobster.

- Yeah, I mean,

and no matter how in love I am,

it's been challenging for me to be monogamous.

Are we meant to be monogamous?

Or is it a wound that needs to be healed,

that causes us to cheat

or to stray from our partner, et cetera?

- We're not designed to be monogamous.

That's the way that we're designed.

- I know now, after two years of

full exploration,

I mean I've had every fantasy fulfilled,

everything that I could ever dream of,

with multiple partners, I mean just--

- That's what I did.

- I know you did.

- I went, I tried living with a girlfriend.

- Did it fulfill you?

- Absolutely not.

- It didn't fulfill me either.

So now I'm coming back to this place where, I want love.

We need to have this discussion.

We need to like, you know test the water,

and be honest and be real.

I mean that's part of the reason

I started Snctm in the first place.

There was no one to talk to,

so I created like a little world around me,

where I could talk about it, and explore it,

and indulge in it with other people that I,

must be asking the same questions as I was.

- The question is,

do you really want to like have love and intimacy,

or do you walk around kind of saying you do,

but making the same mistakes over and over again?

- Right.

I learned something from that conversation.

All this stuff doesn't work.

And I've known it for a while,

but it hasn't stopped me from walking this path.

I keep repeating this story,

about wanting to be with my wife,

and wanting to put my family back together.

I've told that story so many times that I believe it,

but I don't know if it's true.

And I don't want to be walking around

telling myself some story that's bullshit.

I'm searching for something right now,

and I'd be lying if I didn't say that

there was a pain in my heart,

and I'd be lying if I didn't say

that I feel it every day of my life.

But like, I don't know that I'm a monogamous creature.

I don't know that I could just give up all of them for one.

How are you tonight?

- Good.

- Welcome.

- Thank you.

- Hey, how are you doing?

Good to see you, welcome.

I'm doing great thank you.

-Where you from? You just got here?

- I'm Johnathan's girlfriend.

- The painter, the artist?

- Yeah.

- [Woman] Oh.

- I've never been to his work before.

- The way it felt, by Tracy being there,

and me being a unicorn and painting,

was the fact that I'm facing a painting.

I know Tracy's in the background.

- [Tracy] I don't know what to do with myself.

- [Tracy] Oh my.

- I'm worried about what she was doing,

how she was looking at me,

what she felt.

I don't know.

- [Alina] How do you like Johnathan as a unicorn?

- It's very different,

I'm very grateful also that you allowed me.

Like he really didn't want me to come.

- Oh, really.

- So we were like kind of fighting about it.

- So maybe that's why the painting is not that great.

Because it just moves.

Let me know at the end of the night,

like how you liked it, or like if there was something,

I just hope like you guys will be okay,

and you're not gonna flip out if you see something wrong.

Please?

- Oh yeah, I will, thank you.

- But you know it means a lot to me,

so I want everyone to be happy.

- [Tracy] It's just the only thing is like when the guests

come and they're touching, I just can't be seen.

Like that is hard to get used to.

- Do I feel any special by these women touching me? No.

It's just another day at work.

- [Tracy] Oh, oh, oh my.

- But having her there,

I'm afraid that she might explode,

and create a scene, while I'm working.

(piano music)

(group applauding)

(piano music)

(dramatic orchestral music)

(group applauding)

- How many minutes do we got?

- What do you mean?

No minutes, it's like now.

- Before my performance, I wanted to check in with Tracy,

to make sure that she's comfortable with what they're doing,

and what's going on in front of her.

So what did you think?

- You have to give me time to like, warm up to this.

This is the first time I've ever seen you do,

anything that you do.

It just makes me think about everything.

- Well, I don't think this is the right environment for you.

You know, I care about you a lot,

and you mean a lot to me.

I just don't want you to hate me, okay?

- [Tracy] Okay.

- I gotta get going.

I have to perform next.

- I should leave, but I don't like to ever like,

just give up.

(dramatic orchestral music)

Everybody has their own way of looking at life.

Everyone has their own way of living their own lives,

but this is a whole new world to me,

and some of the things, this is too much.

He told me that, he will do these events

as long as they let him.

If I were to be with him,

and want to have a family with him,

I know that he would still be doing these events,

and it's really hard because,

I've just spent so many of my emotions on him,

and I feel like

like, sorry,

I get so worried and upset and stressed.

It just makes me a mess and I never used to be like this.

I do want him to leave this lifestyle,

but I don't think he's ready to do that.

So, I don't know.

(phone ringing)

- [Voice On Answering Machine] Hi, you've reached

Melissa, leave me a message.

I'll call you back.

- Hey Mel, it's Damon, how are you?

Just wanted to see you.

Give me a call when you get the message.

Okay, I love you, bye.

You know, seeing Johnathan and his girlfriend

unhappy and fighting,

and confused and hurting, like I could totally relate.

Thinking about my wife and my kids, and wanting that back,

and I start to feel sad or lonely,

and the biggest thing standing in between

me and her being back together is Snctm.

I miss you, I love you.

- [Melissa] I know, I love you too.

- My heart is still with Melissa.

And I miss her and my kids, every day.

But I've got to make some changes if I want them back.

Hello?

- [Melissa] Hey Damon.

- Hey Mel, how are you?

- [Mellissa] Good.

(solemn jazz music)