All language subtitles for Naked.Snctm.S01E04.en

- Beverly Hills is home to
some of the most wealthy

and powerful people
in the world.

They drive the finest cars,

shop at the best boutiques,

and they live in the
most outrageous homes.

They also have access
to the most exclusive

and high end erotic club ever.

I created that club,
it's called SNCTM.

(electronic music)

SNCTM is a secretive society,

where we do a black
tie masquerade,
private dinner parties,

and an erotic theater.

It's a place for my members

to explore their
wildest fantasies

and learn about their
true sexual selves.

Welcome to my world.

(emotional music)

(pulsing music)

Something about how I
was raised has affected

my relationships with women

but I'm very much
into regular dates.

It's definitely not
all about sex for me.

I'm totally into
like going to a movie

and having a nice dinner,
just getting to know someone.

(glasses clink)

- Cheers.

- Finding someone I can really
have a conversation with.

It turns me on.

Oh you smell it first okay.

- Interesting ring.

- I was about to
just take a sip.

- No I like to do it that way.

- Yeah.

- Do you like the smell.

- Yeah, I'm gonna
follow your lead.

Like oak?

- Mm-hmm.

- Hmm.

- Yeah pas mal is
exactly correct.

- Mmhmm.

- But I don't speak much French.

Let's just stay,
let's stay in English.

- You forgot about it.

(laughs)

- Tonight, I'm on a
blind date with Violine,

there's different
levels of chemistry

that I feel when I meet someone,

and you don't know
when it's gonna happen

or where it comes from,
but when it does happen,

you feel it, so I'm trying
to open myself up to that.

- Are you from New York?

- I was born in New York

but I grew up in Northern
California actually.

So near San Francisco.

- Its beautiful up there.

- It is.

- I love San Francisco.

- It was a great
place to grow up.

Sex is like the wonderful
icing on the cake.

But I like the whole cake too.

- What made your parents
go from New York to?

- They separated when
I was pretty young

and they moved a mile
apart from each other

in Northern California, even
though they were divorced.

So um, how or why that
happened, I've never asked them.

- Okay.

- I'm gonna find that out
and I'll get back to you.

(laughs)

- Okay.

- Dinner with Violine was
fun because she didn't know

what I did and it was
nice, it was refreshing

to just have a
conversation with someone

that had nothing
to do with SNCTM.

You know a little bit
about wine it seems like?

- [Violine] Mm-hmm.

- What do you do?

- I'm a wine rep.

- You're a wine rep, how long
have you been doing that?

- Like a year.

- Okay.

- Do you know anything
about me or no?

- A little bit.

- Yeah like what?

I'm curious.

- That you're a
successful business man.

- Uh-huh, basically
I own a club.

A private club.

- Oh.

- And it's been sort of
secretive for a while.

- What kind of club.

- It's a bit unusual but.

It's hard to express what I do.

Because it requires
quite an explanation.

So, let's say that
you're in a relationship,

you're married and
you're very wealthy

but you want to learn
how to tie up your wife

and pleasure her in new ways.

It's not a conventional
position or job,

it's like well that's totally
different and you know,

whatever it is, I don't know
but people are very interested

and intrigued by whatever
this is conceptually.

And whatever they imagine
it to be in their heads

so people have a lot
of questions about it.

We do like an erotic theater
that people come to watch.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

And they come to watch the
theater but definitely also

to interact with each other

and they do it in
New York and LA.

- But it's not an erotic
show, it's something more?

- It's something
different, yeah.

- And then everybody's
free to just join

as much as they want.

- Exactly, exactly.

- Like, sex can happen.

- That's pretty,
that's pretty, exactly.

And so I try to be
really open and authentic

and just I talk about it.

I mean there's something about
being honest with someone

and then they get the choice.

Whereas when you
lie to somebody,

you're not really giving
them much of a choice.

You know, you're creating
a bullshit story for them

and then you know, they
live in a false reality

and then they find out
the truth and they're hurt

and you know, and they
don't like you any more.

I don't want that to happen.

Could you like, could you date
somebody who does what I do

do you think?

- Mmm.

No, no, cause I think
you're surrounded by like,

(gasps)

- Right, right.

- No, by what you said
I was like erotic shows,

with all the

- Yeah.

- You know.

Many, many, many, girls.

You know because that's
part of your life

it's part of what you do.

- That's true it is.

- It is what you do so.

- Yeah.

- But.

- I don't face a
lot of rejection

with women really these
days but that's what happens

when you're honest.

(soft music)

Have a good night.

- Alright.

- Bye.

Growing up I learned
to appreciate instant
gratification.

It's how I've lead
my life ever since.

Hey Crystal?

What are you doing?

Really?

There's no question that
sex is an escape for me.

I'll see ya in a little bit.

(fire sizzles)

Did you pour me some wine?

- I did.

- You're so sweet.

- Well cheers babe.

- Yeah, cheers.

- I'm glad you're here.

- I'm glad I'm here too.

- With me.

- Yeah, exactly.

- You look so nice.

- Thank you, you look nice too.

Look, we all love pleasure.

You know, we're all
kind of hedonists.

We don't always all act
on it but I think we all

want to live that dream and
we want like a big steak

and mashed potatoes and
lobster and lots of butter

and big tub of yummy ice cream

and what you could call it
cocaine or you could call it

you know, beautiful naked women.

It satiates something within us.

It,

it makes us feel
good for a moment.

(soft music)

♪ Sugar coated candy, I
taste this bitter pill

♪ Live my life on the edge

♪ I'm sure I've had my fill

♪ To walk this road so many
times

♪ And never break my stride

♪ I pass so many warning
signs and never caught my eye

Is it okay to have
those experiences, yeah.

Is it okay to eat a big
steak and mashed potatoes

and butter and nice
glass of wine, yeah.

Its okay, is it
healthy all the time?

No.

(soft music)

But I've not learned yet
to avoid those things

that make me happy, that
I know are destructive.

And I get lost
indulging in all of it.

There's like an ease and an
emptiness to it that I like

because I don't have
to feel anything.

(soft music)

But I come from a
very addictive family

and I'm walking this line and
I know it's a dangerous one.

I fell like some of the
confusion I have could stem

from the lack of
relationship with my mother.

And I won't heal until
I reconnect with her.

(dramatic music)

(soft music)

- So how long has it been
since you've seen your mom?

- Um,

it's been about four years.

- Oh wow.
- Yeah.

I was feeling like there
was a resentment inside me

and something festering
in me with my mom

that needed to be resolved.

And I wanted to just find
a way to let go of that.

And so I'm gonna meet
up with my mom today.

- Does she know about SNCTM?

- I've not had a
conversation with her.

- [Nicolas] It was at
the beginning of SNCTM.

- In I say four years,
maybe it's been five years.

For quite a while she was
someone that I was really,

you know, enamored by, she
was a very special woman

and she was the
person I looked up to.

She was like the
person I wanted to be.

I mean she was honest,
she was spiritual

and she was just this like,

smart, intelligent, healthy,

amazing person but my mother
has serious addiction issues.

(exhales)

Yeah, I'm gonna be having
lunch with her in a few hours,

I'm a little.

- [Nicolas] How are you feeling?

- A little nervous.

- [Nicolas] It's got
to be nerve wracking.

- It is a little bit,

I, um...

My mother and my father
were both heavy duty addicts.

So, childhood up
until I was about 13

was pretty scary and
uncomfortable a lot of it.

But then sobriety was
like this time of,

it was a totally different
relationship I had with my mom.

But I need to see myself in her

and to really see the person
that I don't want to become.

- Mm-hmm.

- Because I can see there
is parts of her in me.

I can feel the addiction
stuff is in me.

- Mm-hmm.

But you can change.

- [Damon] I hope so.

- It's tough, I mean, its a
really different upbringing

than mine.

I have no connecting
points with that,

my parents, they were pretty
present maybe too much,

but to my liking, but it,

it is different so it's hard to

it's like talking to an orphan.

You know and trying to
understand what it was like,

I'll never know, but I think it
does him best to talk than not.

Deep down do you want
a relationship with her

and move on from the past and?

- I've always wanted,

- [Nicolas] As shitty as
it sound like, she was,

or you had a
relationship with her.

- I want a relationship,
I wish I had a mom.

But I don't know if there's
gonna be anything good

that can come out of this.

But I feel like I need to do it.

- He's not looking for
any answer from me,

but he's knows there's options,
he just needs to hear it.

But it's not my place to say,
this is what you should do

and this is what
you shouldn't do.

- I'm not afraid of much,
but I'm definitely afraid

of meeting with my mom today.

Yeah.

- What's your mom's name?

- Melissa.

My mom and my wife are Melissa.

- That's weird.

- Yeah, about as
weird as it can get.

You know honestly, this
is one of my first tattoos

and when I got it I was like
if this doesn't work out

it's just my mom's name.

(laughs)

Thank you for giving a shit.

- [Nicholas] You know, hike in
jeans, that's the last time.

- I'll lend you my
socks next time.

(laughs)

(electronic music)

(soft piano music)

- This is my life actually,
I do like different kinds

of events I do fashion
and photo shoots

like editorial photo
shoots, that's yeah,

that's what I love to do.

This one.

So it's more like,

- [Woman] I love it, you
worked for some company.

- You know what it is?

- No I don't, it
looks like a flower.

- It's a pussy.

I love SNCTM and I love
creating everything I do for it.

It's a very
different directions.

It's dark and then it's also
like some pinkish colors

and yellows, blues, (laughs).

(laughs)

That's a small size
so it's like you know.

No it's fine.

Take off your pants.

What little thing?

- [Model] A sticky.

- What does it do, it
just lifts your butt?

- Yeah it lifts your butt.

- Your butt is great.

Oh my god,

(laughs)

that's so funny.

- [Woman] Every
guy finds it sexy.

- [Alina] Really?

Louis you think that's sexy?

- Yes.

- [Alina] The pants.

Do you prefer this
to the tiny ones?

- The tiny ones for me
don't do anything, I mean,

any underwear because.

- It's just like,
it's like a different,

actually you know what,
fell like I should design

something like that.

Since I'm little I was always
doing like my own designs,

my, like I was cutting and
like gluing things together

and make like my own like
skirts and my own outfits

and everything and you know,
I learn everything by myself.

It's just through experience
and then like the only thing,

like my mom teach me how to sew,

so that's the thing
I learn from my mom.

Why don't you shave?

You didn't shave.

- [Model] I told you!

- You always have to
be prepared, you know.

- [Model] I'm not
kind of prepared,

it's not like I have
a bush or something.

(laughs)

- Really want to do
this shoot with Debbie

where she's milking the cow.

I really see her in this
outfit like the German,

like lederhosen and
then like her boobs

and like spritzing
her milk or something.

Sometimes I just have
this vision in my
head like super sexy

but it's also like weird,
disgusting, beautiful and cute.

And then even if she
talks like spritzing her

its so sexy.

(laughs)

- Okay.

- [Alina] Just say spritzing.

- Like a farm girl.

- [Alina] Say spritzing.

- Spritzing.

- See perfect.

(laughs)

Not fake smiling
natural smiling, yes.

Let me.

It's fame, be
natural, natural cute.

When I the first time I
went to Ibiza, I think,

like I went there the
first time when I was 17.

I saw the dancers
there and the costumes

and like the energy over
there was just amazing.

It's like this is
what I want to do.

So that's why I
got like inspired.

(electronic music)

- Beautiful, a
little smiley please.

- [Alina] No I don't
want smiley for this.

- [Photographer] No you
don't want a smiley, okay.

- [Alina] No, this is
more like I'm a wild,

give it to us, yeah.

Okay.

(camera shutter clicks)

I feel like one boob is
higher than the other one.

(laughs)

Who's mean?

- [Photographer] You!

- He's just jealous
that I get to touch her.

(laughs)

yes, oh boobie.

- Oh.

- [Alina] Cool yeah we got it.

Thank you Debbie.

(moody music)

- This is hard, I don't
know if I want to do it.

It's painful, this'll be the
first time I've seen Damon

in about eight years.

And,

it's very painful.

- Hi.

How are you doing?

- Hi.

- Who's this little thing?

- Oh hi.

- Hi.

Thanks for coming out.

- [Mom] Oh you smell so good.

- Oh thank you.

My feelings, my mom are
a lot of them are very,

intense.

- How are you?

- I'm doing well.

And also,

you know, it's been a roller
coaster ride for sure.

And you know, I've
built this great thing

and people love it,
I'm making money

but I lost Melissa.

- No.

- Yeah,

- My relationship with
Damon is no more, you know,

and so, very sad I
think of it every day.

- I feel like I have
like a choice in my life

to either be like crazy and
self destructive or not.

And I just don't want to, I
don't want to end up like.

- Me.

- Yes.

(exhales)

Yeah.

That could be me so easy.

And so I struggle with that.

If I, if I let that pain
that exists from that childhood

turn me into a drug
addict alcoholic

and then I treat my children
the way I was treated

by my mom, I mean, I,
it's like the whole thing

just continues, it's
like a continuous cycle

and I have the
opportunity to end that,

to break that cycle now.

I don't understand how that
shit, how it all went down

like it did.

And I don't know how you
could have let that happen

around us, why did you do that,

or how did you let
yourself do that?

- I guess in those days it
didn't seem like a bad thing.

What can I say?

You know, we were hippies.

You know, it wasn't it
just didn't seem bad,

not that it wasn't,
you know, but,

- My intention is not
to belittle my mother

or badger her about the past.

It's just that she
understands what happened

and then can start the healing
process for both of us.

If I was getting fucked
up around my kids

and exposing them to things
they shouldn't have seen

and had a certain
experiences that they just,

that I know is gonna
like really fuck them up.

- Mm-hmm.

- I would try to find a way
to make an amends for that.

I don't feel like there
was a moment when you

showed, when you, let us
know that, like, that wasn't
right.

- Well I guess you don't
remember all the therapy

that we went to with
Hadria and with you and.

- The things that you decided
to do, was almost like

you decided that all
that mattered was you.

And that we didn't matter.

- Okay, first of all
that's bullshit, okay.

- Yeah, it's not
bullshit though.

- I want you to
listen to me now.

- Yeah.

- You come at me with this
stuff and I've asked you

to forgive me

and that's one thing
that you haven't done yet

and so like there's no
moving on with that.

- Mom what are
you talking about?

No.

- Okay.

- You don't see.

- I don't know Damon,
that would be up to,

- Are you fine the way
things are right now?

- Okay Dame, I love you so
very much Dame, I really do

but I can't take this
anymore, I can't take

the same conversation,
I don't appreciate it.

Oh I wish I hadn't come.

- It's frustrating
and it's painful

to try to have a
conversation with my mom

and try to like let her back
in and I've sort of like

done it again and again
and again like hoped

that it's gonna change and
hope it's gonna be different.

And then it's just the
same thing every time.

And

it's hard.

(sad piano music)

- [Jacque] Did I update you?

- Oh no what happened?

- Are you, your dad found out?

- So yeah well I told
my mom last spring

about SNCTM and all
that but then since then

I've like had conversational
topics with them

and they like make
snide comments

and like have outwardly now
said,

we don't approve that you
do this, like just know

but we still love
you and I'm like.

- Did you tell them
it's like theatrical.

- I've told them it's more
theatrical and stuff like that,

you know, it's just like
the performance aspect of it

and it's something that I enjoy.

My parents mean so much
to me and I'm really close

with both of them
but ultimately,

I have to live my life for
me and what makes me happy.

I've not really talked
about my sexual interests

with my parents,

I had to somewhat google things

growing up.

And that's how I learned.

Statistically when you do
that and shelter your kids

they're gonna end up being
a freak, (laughs) so.

- My parents are
pretty open minded.

When I left Germany they're
like just do your thing.

My mom's actually always the one

she was like, don't
wear this mini skirt

and like don't be too naked

and don't be this and
my dad was always like,

ah let her do, let
her do, you know.

I mean but both of them
together pretty much open

and they just let me
do whatever I want.

I think I do have like
a dirty mind sometimes

'cause I see the
perversion as art.

I can see someone pooping
on stage but its pink.

(laughs) it's gonna go like
into an ice cream cone.

You can make it different,

not that I did it, the
pooping one but you know,

it's just an idea.

Then I'm not creepy
though, am I creepy?

- You're not creepy, you're
just a pervert and we love you.

- Thank you.

(laughs)

(playful music)

- When my mom walked out
of the lunch meeting,

that could have been my
last interaction with my mom

probably for the
rest of my life.

- Where's Catalinka?

- And so I talked to her and
I said let's meet up again.

- Come here.

- I did not want it
to end like that,

that wasn't the story I wanted.

I feel like yesterday we
didn't accomplish anything

and I don't want to carry this

around

anymore.

- Okay good.

You don't have to say anything,
you said it yesterday,

I'll say it.

I was a drug addict,
a sex addict,

and it's really put you
in jeopardy in your life

and I, I hope that
you would forgive me

because it's been with
me every day of my life

and I love you and

I wish I could have done
different but I didn't.

- I'd like to start from here,

I just want a mom.

- [Melissa] Yeah.

- I would like that.

- So glad thank you Damon.

- I just needed to know that,

that you could acknowledge.

- Without excuses.

- Yeah, you know.

- Without defending myself.

I realized that.

- Because with that I
can at least like let go.

When she was brave
enough to say the truth,

you know what else could
I do when someone says

the words she said but forgive.

You know, I only
needed those words.

And I've been waiting
for those words

for you know,

a long time.

Thank you.

(cries)

I am who I am because of my mom

and there's good stuff in there

and there's bad stuff in there.

She's an amazing human being.

She's just,

she's just damaged

and what I want to
do for me is just

accept and love and forgive her.

- [Mom] We should have
done this years ago.

- Yeah.

This is gonna be like
a chapter along the way

and I'm gonna turn that page
but I'm still on this journey

I'm learning to kind
of let go a little bit

and enjoy life and possibly
indulge in some play time.

(electronic music)

(chatter)

I'm in a really good
place in this moment.

I want to stay here

'cause I do have
a beautiful life.

Enjoy yourself?

(kisses)

You wanna kiss her?

Want to lick her hand?

(kisses)

(soulful music)

(intense music)

(strong music)