Original subtitles

WHAT'S GOING ON?

BRIDGET GOT SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL

FOR ORGANIZING A PROTEST.

WHAT WERE YOU PROTESTING,

THE LACK OF MIRRORS IN SCHOOL HALLWAYS?

NO, BUT AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THAT?

I MEAN, HELLO -- BEAUTY DISCRIMINATION.

NOW, THAT'S THE BRIDGET I KNOW,

NOT THE ONE WHO STAGES PROTESTS

TO SAVE FROGS FROM GETTING DISSECTED.

THAT'S BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T ORGANIZE THE SIT-IN. I DID.

WHAT?

WELL, SHE COVERED FOR ME SO I WOULDN'T GET IN TROUBLE,

AND I'D BE ABLE TO GO ON MY SUMMER PROGRAM TO EUROPE.

WELL, THAT MAKES MORE SENSE,

YET I DON'T FEEL HAPPIER.

OH, YEAH. THANKS, BY THE WAY, BRIDGET.

YEAH, BECAUSE OF YOU,

MY GIRLFRIEND'S GONNA RUN OFF TO EUROPE

AND FALL IN LOVE WITH SOME FANCY FRENCH GUY NAMED JOSE.

"JOSE" IS SPANISH.

YOU'VE ALREADY MET HIM?

THIS IS IT.

I AM GONNA GO DOWN TO THAT SCHOOL

AND MAKE THIS RIGHT WITH THE PRINCIPAL.

YIPPEE. I GET TO DEAL WITH HIM AGAIN.

NO, IT'S OKAY. MOM, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

I CAN LIVE WITH MY PUNISHMENT.

BRIDGET, YOU GOT SUSPENDED.

THAT MEANS YOU'RE GONNA MISS THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF SCHOOL.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I GET A WEEK JUMP ON MY TAN,

AND, TRUTH BE TOLD, I AM NOT PREPARED FOR FINALS.

HONEY, IT COULD AFFECT YOU GETTING INTO COLLEGE.

HEY, NO ONE SAID LIFE IS FAIR.

YOU'D MISS THE PROM.

OH, MY GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE?

WHOO-HOO!

WELL, YOU CAN ALL START SUCKING UP TO ME.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE NEW ROADIE

FOR AEROSMITH'S SUMMER TOUR 2004.

WHAT'S UP?

A ROADIE -- ISN'T THAT THE GUY THAT JUMPS IN THE BARREL

TO DISTRACT THE BULL?

THAT'S RODEO CLOWN, ALL RIGHT?

A ROADIE IS THE DUDE

WHO MOVES ALL THE BAND'S EQUIPMENT AROUND.

OH, MUCH BETTER.

THAT'S THE COOLEST JOB EVER. HOW'D YOU GET IT?

LAST NIGHT, I KIND OF BUMPED INTO STEVE --

STEVEN TYLER...

...AT HIS HOTEL.

I WAS DRESSED AS A WAITER DELIVERING ROOM SERVICE.

AND I WAS LIKE, "YO, STEFAN, YOU KNOW,

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HOOK UP FOR YOUR SUMMER TOUR?"

AND HE WAS LIKE, "SURE." AND I WAS LIKE, "SWEET."

AND THE COP WAS LIKE, "I'M FIRING ONCE."

"SURE"? THAT'S WHAT HE SAID -- "SURE"?

THAT'S YOUR JOB OFFER?

YEAH. IT'S GONNA HAPPEN. YOU'LL SEE.

PRETTY SOON, I'LL BE KNEE-DEEP IN GROUPIES,

ROCKING OUT TO AEROSMITH.

NOW I'M GONNA GO DOWNSTAIRS AND TRY ON SOME HEADBANDS.

GRANDPA, WE SHOULD GET GOING.

GOT A HALF HOUR

BEFORE THEY FEED THE SNAKES AT THE PET STORE.

I'M NOT IN THE MOOD, RORY.

NOT IN THE MOOD TO SEE SNAKES SWALLOW GERBILS?

YOU THINK YOU KNOW A GUY.

DAD, ARE YOU DOING OKAY? YOU NEVER MISS FEEDING DAY.

WHO ARE YOU?

DAD?

OH.

I'M FINE. I'M FINE.

NO, NO, I DO HAVE SOMETHING ON MY MIND.

YOUR MOM CALLED, AND SHE BROKE UP WITH PACO,

AND IT GOT ME THINKING.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE I OUGHT TO GIVE HER ONE LAST SHOT AT THIS.

EXCUSE ME. WHAT'S WITH THE SIGN?

OH, WE STARTED A CAMPAIGN TO PROTEST BRIDGET'S SUSPENSION.

SOME OF US ARE WRITING HER IN FOR STUDENT-BODY PRESIDENT.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO.

WE JUST GET UPSET WHEN WE THINK OF YOUR POOR SISTER

STUCK AT HOME, SUFFERING FOR HER POLITICAL BELIEFS.

YEAH, I JUST USE 45 ON MY FACE, BABY OIL ON MY LEGS,

15 EVERYWHERE ELSE, AND THEN COOK TILL DONE.

YEAH. MM-HMM.

WELL -- OH! BRAIN FREEZE.

Ow.

CATE HENNESSY IS HERE TO SEE YOU.

AGAIN? I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD TO DEAL WITH --

CATE, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

LOOK, I'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT BRIDGET.

YOU HAVE GOT IT ALL WRONG, ED.

APPARENTLY, I DO.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE FIGURED HER FOR AN ANIMAL-RIGHTS ACTIVIST,

NOT WITH ALL THE LEATHER SHE WEARS.

WELL, THAT IS JUST IT.

BRIDGET DID NOT STAGE THAT SIT-IN.

KERRY DID.

AH. OKAY, WELL, I'M WILLING TO ADMIT WHEN I'M WRONG.

CAROL, WOULD YOU GET ME THE FORMS

FOR REINSTATING BRIDGET HENNESSY, PLEASE...

THANK YOU.

...AND THE FORMS FOR SUSPENDING KERRY HENNESSY?

WHAT?

YOU CAN'T DO THAT. YOU CAN'T SUSPEND KERRY.

ACTUALLY, I'M PRETTY SURE I CAN.

BUT KERRY IS ONE OF THE BEST STUDENTS

THIS SCHOOL HAS EVER HAD.

ONE OF THE BEST? THE BEST.

EXCUSE ME. BETTER THAN MIN SOO LEE?

HE SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE. HE'S 6.

SURE, EMOTIONALLY.

NOT NOW, SWEETIE.

DID YOU JUST CALL ME SWEETIE?

PLEASE, ED.

LOOK, YOU KNOW, RULES ARE RULES,

AND I ACTUALLY HAVE A MEETING.

WELL, WHAT COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT

THAN RECTIFYING THE UNJUST SUSPENSION

OF ONE OF THIS SCHOOL'S BEST STUDENTS?

WELL, HOW ABOUT A HOT-LUNCH PROGRAM FOR THE POOR KIDS?

WELL, HOW POOR ARE WE TALKING?

QUITE POOR. I REALLY AM LATE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT --

WE CAN SUSPEND KERRY'S SUSPENSION

UNTIL WE FIGURE SOMETHING OUT, OKAY?

ED, ARE YOU BLOWING ME OFF?

NO, NO, NO. HOW ABOUT IF WE MEET FOR COFFEE?

OKAY. WHEN?

THURSDAY.

AFTER SCHOOL?

IT'S A DATE.

OKAY.

NOW, KERRY, SEE, IT'S ALL GONNA BE WORKED OUT.

IT'S ALL GONNA BE WORKED OUT?

YOU JUST AGREED TO GO ON A DATE WITH MY PRINCIPAL.

I --

UH, STEVE, JUST GETTING A LOWDOWN ON THE ROADIE GIG.

NEED THE DEETS, ALL RIGHT?

SO CALL ME. I'M HERE.

I MEAN, I'M NOT WAITING BY THE PHONE.

THAT'S DESPERATE. I DON'T -- YOU KNOW, COME ON.

I'M COOL. I JUST -- I GOT SOME STUFF GOING.

BUT SERIOUSLY, GIVE ME A JINGLE, PAL.

I LOVE YOU.

GOD! I HATE MACHINES.

THEY GET ME NERVOUS.

AND APPARENTLY, A LITTLE GAY.

BY THE WAY, STEVEN TYLER'S PEOPLE CALLED YOU BACK ALREADY.

WHAT?

YEAH, I WROTE DOWN THE START DATE FOR YOU.

WELL, GIVE ME IT!

MARCH 20-NEVER OF 2000-SUCK-IT.

SO UNCOOL, DUDE.

OH, CLASSIC.

C.J., YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

YES, IF IT COMES TO THAT POINT, I'LL PULL THE PLUG.

THAT WASN'T THE QUESTION.

YOU'VE BEEN DUMPED BY A LOT OF GIRLS, CORRECT?

YEAH, A FEW.

A FEW HUNDRED, YES.

AND OF THOSE GIRLS,

WERE THERE ANY THAT YOU WANTED TO WIN BACK?

YEAH, A FEW, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS,

YOU KNOW, "IT'S BETTER IF WE'RE FRIENDS NOW,"

OR "HOW'D YOU FIND OUT WHERE I MOVED?"

OR "I'M INTO GIRLS."

THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

OH, KERRY. OH, MY GOODNESS.

YOU ARE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.

ME FIRST. MOM AGREED TO GO ON A DATE WITH PRINCIPAL GIBB.

I DID NOT. WE ARE JUST GONNA HAVE COFFEE

AND DISCUSS MY DELINQUENT CHILDREN.

HE SAID, "IT'S A DATE."

IT'S AN EXPRESSION.

YEAH, WHICH MEANS, "LET'S DATE."

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN HANDLE THIS.

WHERE ARE YOU HAVING THE COFFEE?

DOES IT MATTER?

OH, SO MUCH TO LEARN.

IF HE TAKES YOU TO ONE OF THOSE COFFEE CHAINS,

HE'S THERE TO TALK BUSINESS,

BUT THERE'S POTENTIAL FOR SOMETHING MORE.

IF HE TAKES YOU TO AN INTIMATE COFFEEHOUSE,

HE'S COMPLETELY INTO YOU.

AND IF HE SHOWS UP 15 MINUTES LATE,

THAT MEANS HE'S OUTSIDE,

WAITING FOR YOU TO BUY YOUR OWN COFFEE.

DON'T HATE THE PLAYER. HATE THE GAME.

PRESIDENT! BRIDGET WAS ELECTED STUDENT-BODY PRESIDENT!

YOU'RE KIDDING. HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?

A BUNCH OF IDIOTS WROTE HER IN.

WELL, NOW, KERRY, YOU SAID SO YOURSELF.

THERE'S NOTHING TO BE JEALOUS ABOUT.

"OH, KERRY, YOU SAID, SO YOURSELF.

THERE'S NOTHING TO BE --" PRESIDENT!

AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

SHE GETS TO GO TO WASHINGTON FOR THE SUMMER.

OH, COME ON.

YEAH, IT'S SOME FUTURE LEADERS OF AMERICA HOO-HA.

WHATEVER.

GOD, THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG WITH DEMOCRACY.

HEY, I FOUGHT TO DEFEND DEMOCRACY.

YEAH, LOOK AT KOREA NOW. YOU KICKED ASS.

I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST TO BRIDGET,

THE FUTURE LEADER OF AMERICA.

GOD, I'M SO GLAD I'M GOING TO EUROPE.

WELL, BEFORE WE EAT,

I HAVE A LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

I'VE DECIDED TO TAKE A TRIP DOWN TO FLORIDA

TO SEE A CERTAIN LADY.

ALL RIGHT, GRANDPA.

1,500 MILES FOR A BOOTY CALL.

WHO'S THE TALENT?

YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

I GOT TWO. THE GOOD-LOOKING ONE?

WELL, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR ALMOST 50 YEARS,

SO I THINK THAT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

GOOD IDEA.

IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, I CAN STILL PICK UP MY GOLF CLUBS.

SO, MOM, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING ON YOUR DATE TOMORROW?

DATE? WHAT DATE?

LOOK, FOR THE LAST TIME,

PRINCIPAL GIBB AND I

ARE JUST GONNA HAVE A LITTLE TALK OVER COFFEE.

YOU TWO ARE HAVING COFFEE?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

RORY!

GRANDPA, YOU BUSY?

I'M JUST TRYING TO OPEN THIS JAR OF NUTS.

CAN I TALK TO YOU?

I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. HERE, OPEN THIS.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

SHOW-OFF.

DO YOU THINK MY MOM WILL MEET SOMEONE SOMEDAY?

WELL, I THINK THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

YOU CAN'T EXPECT HER TO BE ALONE FOREVER.

BUT SHE'S NOT ALONE.

SHE'S GOT BRIDGET, KERRY, AND ME.

I GUESS THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

I MEAN, IT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU.

YOU'RE LEAVING US TO GO GET GRANDMA BACK.

OH, I SEE.

YOU KNOW, EVEN IF THE OLD BIRD DOES TAKE ME BACK,

I'LL STILL BE IN YOUR LIFE.

YEAH, I KNOW. WE'LL TALK ON THE PHONE.

WE WON'T GO TO BALL GAMES OR WATCH SNAKES EAT.

ALL THAT STUFF I DID WITH DAD AND YOU,

NOW I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO DO THAT WITH HARVEY.

HARVEY?

THE GUY I IMAGINE MOM'S GONNA MEET.

HE SELLS WATER BEDS AND DRIVES A CUTLASS SIERRA.

HE'S ALWAYS RUBBING ME ON THE HEAD

AND SAYING, "HEY, THERE, SKIPPER."

YEAH, I HATE THAT GUY.

WELL, YOU KNOW, RORY,

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT DRIVING DOWN TO FLORIDA

INSTEAD OF FLYING --

GET OUT AND SEE THE COUNTRY.

BUT THOSE RIDES GET A LITTLE LONELY.

YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN TAGGING ALONG, WOULD YOU?

ON A ROAD TRIP? TOTALLY.

MOM, GRANDPA AND ME ARE GONNA DRIVE DOWN TO FLORIDA

WHEN SCHOOL GETS OUT.

CAN I GO?

UH, I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

SWEET! I'M GONNA GO MAKE A MIX CD.

GRANDPA, WHAT DO YOU LIKE BETTER --

WEST COAST OR EAST COAST RAP?

SURPRISE ME.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY, SWEETHEART?

OH, YEAH.

YEAH...I JUST REALIZED

THAT WITH THE KIDS AND YOU GONE THIS SUMMER,

I'M GONNA BE HERE ALONE.

AND I'VE -- I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE ALONE.

WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE ALONE TIME

WILL DO YOU SOME GOOD.

YOU COULD DO SOME READING AND TAKE SOME LONG WALKS,

MAYBE EVEN MEET SOMEONE FOR COFFEE.

NO. UNH-UNH. IT'S WAY TOO SOON FOR THAT.

HEY, THERE'S NO RUSH, BABY GIRL.

IT'S JUST WHEN THAT TIME COMES,

STAY AWAY FROM GUYS NAMED HARVEY.

OKAY. LET ME JUST GET ORGANIZED HERE.

SOMETHING FUNNY?

WE'RE IN THE CAFETERIA.

YEAH.

WE'RE HAVING COFFEE IN THE CAFETERIA.

DID SOMEBODY POUR SOMETHING IN THERE

WHEN I WASN'T LOOKING?

NO. IT'S JUST SOMETHING MY KIDS SAID.

OH, YOUR KIDS, THE TWO HELL-RAISERS.

WELL, ACTUALLY, THERE'S THREE.

OH, NO, NO, NO. THERE'S A THIRD?

UH-HUH. YOU'LL BE HAVING HIM NEXT YEAR.

OH, WELL, I LOOK FORWARD TO SUSPENDING HIM.

NOW, LOOK, ABOUT KERRY,

ANIMAL RIGHTS ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO HER,

SO I'M NOT SURPRISED

THAT SHE WOULD PROTEST A FROG DISSECTION.

WELL, WE DON'T DISSECT ANIMALS HERE.

THE FROGS THAT KERRY SAW

ARE PART OF A SENIOR GENETICS EXPERIMENT.

HER ANATOMY FINAL IS ON A COMPUTER.

OH. WELL, KERRY OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

WELL, MIN SOO LEE DID.

COME ON.

YOU DON'T WANT TO SUSPEND

THE RARE STUDENT WHO ACTUALLY CARES, DO YOU?

NO. NO, I DON'T. AND KERRY IS A GOOD KID.

AND I'M WILLING TO SEE

IF THERE'S A WAY TO LET HER BACK IN

WITHIN THE RULES, OKAY?

SO I LOOKED THIS UP.

IT SAYS HERE,

"IF A PARENT DISAGREES WITH A PRINCIPAL'S DECISION,

THE PARENT MAY APPEAL TO AN OMBUDSMAN."

WELL, FINE. WHERE IS HE?

WELL, HERE'S THE THING.

UM, I HAVEN'T APPOINTED ONE YET.

BUT IT'S YOUR JOB TO APPOINT ONE.

YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.

AND BECAUSE OF THAT,

I HEREBY APPOINT MYSELF OMBUDSMAN.

CATE, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO SEE THE OMBUDSMAN?

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

WELL, I REALLY THINK THAT'S FOR THE OMBUDSMAN TO DECIDE.

OKAY.

WOULD YOU PLEASE LET KERRY BACK INTO SCHOOL?

HMM.

OKAY.

I DON'T REMEMBER YOU BEING THIS FUNNY IN HIGH SCHOOL.

ARE YOU KIDDING? I WAS HYSTERICAL.

BY THE WAY,

I'M SORRY IF I SOMETIMES COME OFF LIKE A TYRANT.

IT'S JUST BECAUSE I REALIZE

HOW IMPORTANT DISCIPLINE IS FOR KIDS,

BEING A PARENT MYSELF.

SO, YOU'RE A DAD.

WHAT'S YOUR WIFE DO?

SHE, UM, MAINLY BLAMES ME FOR OUR DIVORCE.

OH. WELL, I'M SORRY.

IT'S OKAY. WE WANTED DIFFERENT THINGS.

SHE WANTED SOMEBODY THAT WASN'T A SLAVE TO HIS JOB,

AND I WANTED SOMEONE

THAT WASN'T SLEEPING WITH MY BEST FRIEND.

MORE COFFEE?

OH, NO.

WHAT'S WRONG?

IT'S MY SCHEDULE FOR MY TRIP TO WASHINGTON.

IT'S SO STUPID.

I DON'T EVEN GET TO MEET ANYBODY IMPORTANT,

JUST SOME SECRETARY.

OF STATE.

WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO -- MAKE ME COFFEE?

THAT'S IT.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE --

THE POSTERS, THE INTERVIEWS,

THE MEETINGS WITH WORLD LEADERS.

I AM THE ONE WHO ORGANIZED THE SIT-IN.

I SHOULD BE GETTING ALL THE CREDIT.

OH, I SEE. IT'S ALL ABOUT GETTING CREDIT.

YOU HAD US ALL BELIEVING YOU CARED ABOUT "PROTECTING" FROGS.

FINE. I'LL PROVE TO YOU THAT I "PROTECT" THE FROGS.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO -- KISS ONE? OH!

OH, YOU KISS FROGS.

I HAVE NEVER KISSED A FROG.

YOU WANTED A BOYFRIEND SO BAD, YOU PICKED THAT FROG UP --

I PICKED IT UP AND LOOKED IN THE FACE.

YOU LOVE FROGS.

OKAY. SO SUE ME. I CARE ABOUT THE ANIMALS.

I AM GONNA GO TO SCHOOL RIGHT NOW,

AND YOU ARE COMING WITH ME.

HAVEN'T I DONE ENOUGH?

NOBODY IS THERE.

THE PRINCIPAL'S ON A DATE WITH OUR MOTHER.

MOVE IT, C.J.

ROUGH DAY AT THE CABBAGE PATCH?

OKAY, WE NEED TO BUY AN ICE COOLER FOR THE CAR,

A POLICE SCANNER, AND A PAIR OF FUZZY DICE.

WE'RE NOT LEAVING FOR A MONTH.

WHILE WE'RE GOING TO THE STORE,

MIGHT AS WELL GET ME A BIGGER SUITCASE FOR ALL MY STUFF.

ALL YOUR STUFF?

WHAT YOU GOT -- TWO PAIRS OF PANTS,

A BELT, AND A BAG OF PISTACHIOS?

C.J., WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US TO FLORIDA?

WELL, TWO THINGS, HORMONE.

ONE IS THE FRANTIC WIND

FROM THE HAND WAVING BY GRANDPA BEHIND ME SAYING NO,

AND TWO, I'LL BE WITH AEROSMITH, MAN.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, I'M GONNA BE ON THE ROAD,

SETTING UP MIKES, MOVING AMPS, PICKING UP PANTIES.

IT'S ROUGH WORK, BUT THAT'S THE JOB.

HAVE YOU EVEN TALKED TO THESE PEOPLE YET?

NOT PER SE, BUT STEVEN SAID --

I KNOW WHAT HE SAID. HE SAID, "SURE."

BUT YOU'RE NOT 18 ANYMORE.

YOU CAN'T BE SITTING AROUND,

WAITING FOR THESE STUPID ADOLESCENT FANTASIES

TO COME TRUE.

AHH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

I MEAN...

THEY HAVEN'T RESPONDED TO ANY OF MY LETTERS

AND CALLS AND POETRY.

YOUR WHAT?

NOTHING.

C.J., YOU ARE AT A FORK IN THE ROAD OF YOUR LIFE.

IT'S SO STUPID, YOU KNOW.

I KIND OF COUNTED ON MY WHOLE SUMMER WITH THESE GUYS.

YOU COULD STILL COME WITH ME AND GRANDPA TO FLORIDA.

COME ON, C.J. IT'LL BE GREAT.

OKAY, OKAY. SIMMER, MARY. ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO.

WELL, NOW LET'S ALL GO TO THE STORE.

AND I'M NOT GONNA LET RORY GET A PAIR OF FUZZY DICE...

THAT AREN'T BIG ENOUGH.

WAIT. LET ME GET MY SUNGLASSES.

I'LL SEE YOU OUT THERE.

C.J...

I'M REALLY, REALLY PSYCHED THAT YOU'RE GOING --

REALLY PSYCHED.

ME TOO, BUDDY. NOW SIMMER.

Yeah, this message is for C.J.

This is Terry London, head roadie for Aerosmith.

Steven says he still wants you for the roadie gig.

He really dug your poetry.

So if you're still interested,

meet us at the airport at midnight.

Bring your passport, your own headband,

and some penicillin.

COME ON, C.J. LET'S GO.

MESSAGE ERASED.

I'M COMING.

WELL, I HAVE TO GO.

AND THANKS SO MUCH FOR KERRY.

OH, AND THANKS FOR THE COFFEE.

THANK YOU.

WHAT?

WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT FIND THIS FUNNY,

BUT MY KIDS ACTUALLY HAD ME CONVINCED

THAT THIS MIGHT BE A...

WELL, YOU KNOW, A...

OH.

NEVER MIND.

GOOD NIGHT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER SOMETIME?

EXCUSE ME?

THAT JUST CAME OUT.

IT'S TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE, BUT WOULD YOU?

NO, THAT'S RIGHT. DON'T ANSWER. DON'T!

IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW,

MY SHRINK TOLD ME THAT I SHOULD TRY

TO TAKE MORE RISKS AND --

OH, GOD. WELL, NOW YOU KNOW I SEE A SHRINK.

OKAY, WELL, I'M GONNA GO INTO MY OFFICE NOW

AND STAY THERE

UNTIL I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE NOT HERE.

HOO, BOY.

WOW.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO, PAUL?

THIS IS BIG.

I NEED A SIGN, AND I MEAN BIBLICAL --

YOU KNOW, LIKE A BURNING BUSH

OR PARTING OF THE SEAS OR SWARMS OF LOCUSTS.

I NEED SOMETHING.

COME ON. GO ON.

COME ON.

OOH! HOP, GO.

FAR AWAY -- THAT WAY, TO THE DOOR.

BE FREE.

HOP, HOP, HOP, HOP.

GO, FROGS. BE FREE.

BE FREE. GO, GO, GO.

SHOO! SHOO!

YOU DON'T SHOO FROGS.

GO, GO.

YAY! HOP, FROGS, HOP.