Original subtitles

HEY, BEAR, HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY?

WELL, REMEMBER THAT ART PROGRAM IN EUROPE THIS SUMMER?

GUESS WHO GOT IN. YOU?

MM-HMM. AND GUESS WHO CAN'T GO

BECAUSE HER MOM FORGOT TO TURN IN HER MEDICAL RECORDS,

EVEN THOUGH SHE WORKS AT THE VERY HOSPITAL WHERE I WAS BORN!

OKAY, OKAY, LOOK, I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY.

WE'LL GO DOWN. WE'LL TALK TO THE PRINCIPAL.

WE'LL GET IT ALL SORTED OUT, OKAY?

NOW, GIVE ME A H-- OH, OKAY.

I DON'T THINK I COULD SPEND AN ENTIRE SUMMER IN EUROPE.

I'D MISS MY FAMILY TOO MUCH... AND RORY, OF COURSE.

SHE GOT IT BAD.

YEAH, IT IS A LONG TIME TO BE AWAY FROM MY FAMILY...

AND KYLE, OF COURSE.

DON'T ANYONE GO IN THERE FOR AN HOUR.

BUT I'LL COPE.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT EUROPE AGAIN?

THERE ARE PLENTY OF THINGS THAT YOU CAN GET EXCITED ABOUT

RIGHT IN YOUR BACKYARD.

HEY, THERE'S TWO SQUIRRELS

"HONEYMOONING" ON THE CLOTHESLINE.

IT'S EXCELLENT.

SEE? RIGHT IN YOUR BACKYARD.

OH, YOU GOT ME.

OH, THE MYSTERY OF ATTRACTION.

WHAT DOES HE SEE IN HER, ANYWAY?

SHE'S PROBABLY ONE SEXY SQUIRREL.

HE MEANT KYLE AND KERRY.

NO, I DIDN'T.

WELL, ANYWAY, THEY SAY THAT OPPOSITES ATTRACT.

WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE, I SHOULD BE WITH SOMEONE

PRETTY, TALL, AND HATES THE COOL MUSIC I LIKE.

HI, I'M MISSY'S SISTER, SISSY.

C.J.

DO YOU LIKE AEROSMITH?

NOT PARTICULARLY.

PLEASE COME IN.

HI, SISSY.

HEY, MISSY.

WHAT YOU DOING?

KEEPING BUSY.

THAT'S OUR LITTLE ROUTINE.

IT'S EXCELLENT.

OH, I LOVE YOU.

I MEAN, I-I LOVE YOUR LAUGH.

IT'S NICE.

YOU KNOW, I DID NOT KNOW THAT MISSY HAD A SISTER SISSY.

THAT'S FUNNY.

YOU KNOW, THE "C" IN C.J. STANDS FOR "COREY."

NO, IT DOESN'T.

HEY, RORY, WHAT YOU DOING?

IT'S YOUR COUSIN COREY.

WATCHING YOU MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOURSELF.

HEY, RORY, GREAT NEWS.

YOU BOUGHT THAT CANE WITH A SWORD IN IT?

I WISH.

THE SERGIO LEONE FILM FESTIVAL BEGINS TONIGHT AT THE MALL --

HOURS OF CLINT EASTWOOD SMOKING A CIGAR, WEARING A PONCHO.

DO YOU WANT TO GO?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA WEAR THE PONCHO TONIGHT, ARE YOU?

I MIGHT.

ENJOY THE SHOW.

OH, SHOOT.

I WISH I HAD SOMEBODY TO GO WITH ME.

UH, DAD, I'M CONCERNED.

YOU HAVEN'T MADE ANY FRIENDS OUT HERE.

THAT'S BECAUSE EVERYBODY'S AN IDIOT.

WELL, HUMOR ME. I GOT THIS ADDRESS FOR YOU.

YOU'RE KICKING ME OUT?

I'LL MAKE A FRIEND.

OH.

OH, THE VFW HALL? NO WAY.

I'M NOT GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE SAD, OLD SOLDIERS

STUCK IN THE PAST, REMINISCING ENDLESSLY.

BUT, DAD, YOU COULD TELL THEM

HOW YOU DROVE TED WILLIAMS AROUND KOREA.

THAT COULD CHEER THEM UP.

OH, NOW, LOOK, HONEY,

MR. GIBB CAN KIND OF BE A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK,

SO WHEN I SIGNAL YOU, GIVE HIM THE KERRY FACE.

EXCUSE ME?

WELL, YOU KNOW, SAD, POUTY, KIND OF TEARY-EYED --

THE KERRY FACE.

YOU HAVE A NAME FOR IT?

OH. OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY.

I AM THAT GOOD!

BACK AGAIN.

NEXT TIME'S FREE. HA HA!

HE'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE.

KYLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, KERRY, THEY'VE TESTED ME,

AND, APPARENTLY, I'M A GENIUS.

Mr. Gibb: CAROL, YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG FILE --

I MEANT KYLE ANDERSON.

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

SO, UM, HAVE YOU FOUND OUT ANYTHING

ABOUT YOUR ART TRIP YET?

NO, WE JUST GOT HERE.

WELL, I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT YOU GOING TO FRANCE.

THEY DIDN'T SUPPORT US IN THE WAR,

BUT I REALLY WANT A PRESENT.

I CAN SEE YOUR CONUNDRUM.

IT'S BEEN IN MY WALLET FOR THREE YEARS.

I SWEAR, I'VE NEVER USED IT, MRS. HENNESSY.

AND HE THOUGHT HE WAS A GENIUS. KYLE!

OH, MY GOD, MOM.

MOM, DID YOU SEE THOSE POOR LAB FROGS?

MRS. HENNESSY, YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER CAN GO IN NOW.

OKAY. WELL, SAY HI TO YOUR MOM,

AND GOOD LUCK WITH THAT WHOLE "NOT MY CUP OF PEE" THING.

COME ON. GRAB YOUR BAG.

HI, ED.

HI.

THANKS FOR SEEING ME. ED?

UH, LOOK, THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

KERRY'S MEDICAL RECORDS -- I-I JUST FORGOT.

WELL, IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE, CATE.

YOU SEEM TO FORGET A LOT OF THINGS.

CATE?

MEDICAL RECORDS, DEADLINES,

COOL GUYS YOU MAY HAVE KNOWN IN HIGH SCHOOL.

FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE.

OH, I REMEMBER ALL THE COOL GUYS.

GOOD ONE, MOM. NOW ASK HIM FOR A FAVOR.

OH, YEAH, RIGHT.

UH, UH, PLEASE, PLEASE, MR. GIBB,

DON'T PUNISH KERRY FOR MY MISTAKES.

NOT NOW.

LOOK, CATE, KERRY MISSED THE DEADLINE FOR THE ART TRIP.

IF I MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR HER,

I HAVE TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR...

THE OTHER TWO KIDS WHO LIKE ART.

COME ON, PLEASE.

KERRY'S BEEN WANTING TO GO TO EUROPE

SINCE SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

A LITTLE BABY GIRL.

OH, THE KERRY FACE.

I'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU, BUT RULES ARE...

RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN.

GET HER OUT OF HERE. GET THE FORMS IN.

Thank you.

HEY, DAD, HOW WAS THE VFW?

OH, MY GOD, YOU BOUGHT A CAR?

MARRY RICH, SWEETIE.

DUH.

I TOOK YOUR ADVICE, AND I WENT TO THE VETERANS HALL,

AND GUESS WHAT.

WHAT? I HAD AN ACCIDENT.

WHAT?!

YEAH, YEAH. IT'S GONNA COST A FORTUNE.

WELL, I'M MISSING SOMETHING.

YOU HAD AN ACCIDENT, AND YET YOU'RE SMILING?

YEAH, WELL, YOU SEE,

I HAD THIS LITTLE FENDER BENDER WITH...

...HER.

HI.

CATE, YOU REMEMBER TINA --

SHE'S THE ONE THAT OWNS THE BAR WHERE YOU DID THE SINGING.

YEAH. HI. NICE TO SEE YOU.

HEY, JIMBO, YOU FORGOT YOUR SUNGLASSES IN MY CAR.

SHE CALLS ME "JIMBO."

"JIMBO."

ARE YOU WORKING FOR THE CIRCUS NOW?

TINA, YOU COULD HAVE JUST GIVEN THEM TO ME TONIGHT.

OH. OH, RIGHT. WHAT WAS I THINKING?

A DATE? MM-HMM.

YOU HAVE A DATE?

WELL, CATE, YOU'RE THE ONE

THAT WANTED ME TO MAKE A NEW FRIEND,

AND, WHOO-EE, DID I.

HEY, GRANDPA, WHAT'S UP?

BLOOD PRESSURE AND BAD CHOLESTEROL.

OH, YOUR MOM WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU THESE TOWELS.

HEY, CARE BEAR, WHAT'S WRONG, SWEETIE?

GRANDPA, I HAVE A CHANCE TO GO TO EUROPE,

SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO,

AND I'M REALLY EXCITED, BUT --

AND DON'T TELL BRIDGET THIS --

I'M ALSO A LITTLE SCARED.

HEY, THAT'S NORMAL.

THE FIRST TIME I TOOK A TRIP WITHOUT MY PARENTS,

I WAS SCARED.

WHERE DID YOU GO?

KOREAN WAR.

WELL, CATE...

HOW DO I LOOK?

UH, I'D BUTTON THE SHIRT.

OH, GOT YOU.

OH, AND, UH, YOU MIGHT WANT TO ZIP UP THE FLY.

HUH? OH.

CHECK.

AND, DAD, LOSE THE SLIPPERS.

DAMN IT.

CATE, I'M NOT SURE I'M READY TO DATE.

SURE YOU ARE, DAD. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I WAS GONNA TAKE TINA TO DINNER AND A MOVIE.

WHAT KIND OF FOOD GOES GOOD WITH A WESTERN?

CHOW.

GRANDPA, YOU MUST BE EXCITED ABOUT YOUR DATE.

OH? IT SHOWS, HUH?

YEAH, YOU TRIMMED YOUR EAR HAIR.

AT LEAST SOMEONE NOTICED.

IF YOU REALLY WANT GOOD CHOW,

THERE'S THIS GREAT FRENCH RESTAURANT

THAT PAUL AND I USED TO GO TO.

A FRENCH RESTAURANT? WOW.

I HAVEN'T SEEN GRANDPA EAT A SNAIL SINCE MY 8th BIRTHDAY,

WHEN HE FELL ASLEEP ON A LAWN CHAIR,

AND I DROPPED ONE IN HIS MOUTH AND TOOK A PICTURE.

YOU WHAT?!

IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY.

HEY. HEY.

OH, I WAS JUST OVER AT MISSY'S.

SISSY LIKES YOU.

OH, COME ON.

A GIRL LIKE THAT COULD NEVER LIKE...A GUY LIKE ME.

COME ON.

DUDE, THAT'S YOUR CUE TO SAY,

"NO, NO, NO. SHE THINKS YOU'RE AWESOME."

"NO, NO, NO. SHE THINKS YOU'RE AWESOME."

I KNEW IT!

SHE WANTS US ALL TO GO OUT TO DINNER TOGETHER.

WELL, WHY DO I NEED YOU?

THE "RORY/COREY -- WHAT YOU DOING?" BIT?

IT WAS GOLD.

ALL RIGHT, GREAT, LET'S DO IT.

I WOULD, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, MAN.

HERE'S AN IDEA -- DON'T EAT.

I LIE A LOT BETTER WHEN I'M NOT HUNGRY.

OH.

FINE, ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU HAVE TO LAUGH AT EVERYTHING I SAY.

NOW, LET'S HEAR IT.

NO, NO. THAT'LL GET YOU, LIKE, BREADSTICKS.

THERE YOU GO. THAT'LL GET YOU A SALAD.

THANKS.

WITH KERRY GOING OFF TO EUROPE, I NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH.

SO...TELL ME ABOUT JIM.

WELL, I WAS BORN ON A RANCH NEAR TULSA, OKLAHOMA.

I LEARNED TO RIDE AND SHOOT BEFORE I COULD CRAWL.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY DANGEROUS BABY.

SO THEY TELL ME.

SO, WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

HAVING DINNER WITH A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

OH, FLATTERY'S GONNA GET YOU EVERYWHERE.

SO, YOU'RE WIDOWED?

YEAH.

ACTUALLY, THREE TIMES --

ALL NAMED JIM --

ALL DIED MYSTERIOUSLY.

LOOK AT YOU. GOD, YOU'RE EASY.

HEY, THIS IS NICE -- YOU AND ME.

GRAMPY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T HOME.

GO AWAY.

HEY, GRANDPA.

OH, RORY.

UH, TINA, THIS IS RORY, MISSY, AND SISSY.

HI. HI.

SO, WHAT'S GOOD HERE?

UM, I'M LOOKING AT THE SHRIMP.

YEAH, SO AM I.

RORY, I'M GETTING THIS WEIRD VIBE FROM YOUR COUSIN.

OH?

RORY, YOU DID TELL HIM

THAT SISSY IS GETTING ENGAGED, RIGHT?

OH, YEAH. HE SAYS, "CONGRATULATIONS."

AH.

THIS IS PRICEY.

I HEAR THE BREADSTICKS ARE GOOD.

PRACTICALLY A MEAL.

SOME PEOPLE EAT THE BREADSTICKS AND GO HOME.

DO THEY HAVE LOBSTER?

YEAH, IT'S CALLED SOUP DU JOUR.

GRANDPA, THIS IS PRICEY. HELP.

NO.

UH, YOU KNOW, IT'S TOUGH,

BUT THEY HAVE TO LEARN TO SURVIVE ON THEIR OWN TWO FEET.

YEAH, WELL, IT ISN'T LIKE YOU HAVEN'T DONE ENOUGH,

LETTING YOUR DAUGHTER AND THE WHOLE FAMILY

MOVE INTO YOUR HOUSE WITH YOU.

WELL, A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT...

A MOMENT -- A MOMENT.

UH, I'LL PAY FOR RORY AND MISSY, BUT THAT'S IT.

FINE. I HAVE A CREDIT CARD.

WELL, JUST MAKE SURE THEY'LL TAKE GAS CREDIT CARDS.

WAIT. WHY WOULDN'T THEY?

UM, EXCUSEZ-MOI, MA CHèRE.

I THINK IT'S GOING WELL.

WAIT TILL I SAY SOMETHING FUNNY.

THAT MAY NEVER HAPPEN.

UNBELIEVABLE.

MY BIOLOGY FINAL IS ON ANATOMY OF A FROG --

ANATOMY OF A FROG!

I'M NOT GONNA CUT UP A POOR, DEFENSELESS CREATURE

JUST SO I CAN PASS A CLASS!

IT'S A LIVING, BREATHING, FEELING ENTITY

WITH A PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD!

FROGS ARE STUPID.

DID MOM BUY YOGURT?

HI, MISSY.

RORY, SISSY'S TOTALLY INTO C.J.

SHE IS? IS SHE NUTS?

SHE BROKE OFF HER ENGAGEMENT.

I WAS GONNA BE A BRIDESMAID

AND TRY CHAMPAGNE WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING,

BUT, THANKS TO YOUR LITTLE PLAN,

YOU'VE RUINED SISSY'S WHOLE LIFE!

BUT...

WE DID HAVE LOBSTER.

YEAH.

DAD, I NEED THE PHONE.

OH, THAT WAS SO FUNNY WHEN YOU SAID THAT.

YEAH.

NO. NO. YOU SHUT UP.

NO, YOU SHUT UP.

NO, YOU SHUT UP!

HEY, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW AFTER WORK, HUH?

ALL RIGHT, BYE, TINA.

NO, YOU HANG UP.

NO, YOU.

NO, YOU.

DAD, YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A TEENAGER.

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX.

YOU'VE BEEN SEEING AN AWFUL LOT OF THIS TINA.

SO, WHAT'S IT TO YOU?

DON'T YOU GET SMART WITH ME.

I AM YOUR DAUGHTER,

AND I THINK YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE GOING STEADY!

WELL, YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!

NOW, LOOK, DAD, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER.

I MEAN, WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?

HAS SHE EVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE?

WHAT ARE HER PARENTS LIKE?

DEAD.

AND IT'S JUST THAT, AFTER MEETING YOU,

I REALIZED THAT I DIDN'T LOVE TIM.

AND IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT HE HAD MONEY

OR TWO HOMES OR THAT HE WAS A DOCTOR.

I HAD TO TELL HIM THAT I DIDN'T LOVE HIM.

DID HE CRY?

LIKE A BABY.

THAT'S EXCELLENT -- I WIN.

SEE?

YOU'RE EVERYTHING I NEVER WANTED IN A MAN...

AND MORE.

AW.

MMM.

WHAT YOU DOING?

I'M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

IT'S THE RHYME GAME, YOU KNOW?

I SAY, "WHAT YOU DOING?" AND YOU SAY, "KEEPING BUSY."

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

WERE YOU, LIKE, IN A CAR ACCIDENT

I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT OR SOMETHING?

Shh! YOU'RE SPOILING IT.

WHAT YOU DOING?

TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS DEATH GRIP YOU HAVE ME IN.

SAY IT!

KEEPING BUSY?

SING IT!

KEEPING BUSY.

SO, HOW DID IT GO WITH SISSY LAST NIGHT?

KEEPING BUSY!

OH, DUDE, SHE'S NOT WITH YOU, IS SHE?

RORY, DID YOU GET THE NEWSPAPER? NO.

YOUR GRANDFATHER WILL WANT TO READ IT WHEN HE WAKES UP.

GRANDPA?

GOOD MORNING.

DAD, WERE YOU OUT ALL NIGHT?

LET ME HANDLE THIS ONE.

LET ME SEE --

YESTERDAY'S OUTFIT...

UNSHAVEN...

OOH, A LITTLE CHANEL NUMBER 5 --

YES, SIR, SOMEBODY HAD AN AWAY GAME LAST NIGHT.

AN AWAY GAME?

UGH!

DAD, WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH TINA LAST NIGHT?

KEEPING BUSY.

HAD DINNER AT HER PLACE.

IT GOT LATE, SO I JUST SPENT THE NIGHT.

HIGH FIVE, GRANDDADDY.

DOESN'T SOMEBODY HAVE SCHOOL?

MY TUMMY HURTS.

OH, HEY, YEAH. GO TO SCHOOL.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, OUT, BOTH OF YOU.

DAD, I WANTED YOU TO HAVE SOME COMPANIONSHIP,

BUT ARE YOU HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS WOMAN?

WELL, I'M ENJOYING MYSELF. I LIKE TINA.

I'M NOT SURE IT'S A RELATIONSHIP...YET.

YET?

BUT -- BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT -- WELL, YOU KNOW, I'D HOPED

THAT YOU AND MOM WOULD BOTH STOP ACTING CRAZY

AND GET BACK TOGETHER.

SHE LEFT ME.

CAN I HELP IT IF I'M COPING SO DAMN WELL?

SO, YOU'RE JUST GONNA PLAY AROUND

AND LIVE UNDER MY ROOF?

YOU KNOW, THIS ARRANGEMENT

WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO LAST FOREVER.

CATIE, I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPY FOR ME.

I'M A MAN WHO THOUGHT HE WAS DONE,

AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I'M LIVING AGAIN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D PREFER LIVING TO MOM.

YEAH, SCARY, ISN'T IT -- MOVING ON?

BUT LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION --

DID YOU THINK THAT THIS ARRANGEMENT --

YOUR DAD BEING THE ONLY MAN IN YOUR LIFE --

WAS GOING TO LAST FOREVER?

CAN'T HAVE THIS CONVERSATION NOW.

I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

AND YOU'RE WRONG, DAD.

I KNOW THAT YOU STILL LOVE MOM,

AND YOU DON'T JUST MOVE ON WHEN YOU STILL LOVE SOMEONE.

KERRY. EXCUSE ME.

KERRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WELL, I'M LEADING A SIT-IN.

IN MY SKIRT, WHICH, BY THE WAY, YOU CAN'T PULL OFF?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET OUT OF HERE?

YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING.

YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR EUROPE TRIP.

IF MR. GIBB FINDS OUT YOU DID THIS,

HE'S NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO.

OH, MY GOD. I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

BRIDGET, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

FROGS ARE PEOPLE, TOO, YOU KNOW?

WELL, THEY SORT OF ARE,

WHEN YOU PUT LITTLE HATS AND VESTS ON THEM

AND TAPE LITTLE CANES TO THEIR HANDS.

SOMETIMES...

SOMETIMES, YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR YOUR BELIEFS.

WHICH IS, LIKE, WEIRD,

'CAUSE IT'S, LIKE, CALLED A SIT-IN.

IS ANYONE ELSE TICKLED BY THE IRONY HERE?

DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS OPPORTUNITY,

AND DON'T LISTEN TO KYLE.

YOU'RE JUST WORRIED SOME COOL GUY NAMED GIORGIO

IS GONNA TAKE HER FOR A GONDOLA RIDE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT BETTER BE ITALIAN FOR "BOAT."

EXCUSE ME. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

WHY -- WHY AREN'T YOU ALL IN CLASS?

WE'RE HAVING, LIKE, A SIT-IN.

OKAY, YOU'VE GOT 5 SECONDS TO GET BACK TO CLASS,

OR THERE ARE GONNA BE CONSEQUENCES.

NO?

ALL RIGHT, WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS?

SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME WHO'S RESPONSIBLE,

OR YOU'RE ALL IN DEEP, DEEP TROUBLE.

I AM.

WELL, I MIGHT HAVE FIGURED.

BRIDGET HENNESSY...

...YOU'RE SUSPENDED.