Original subtitles

WOW, DAD. I AM IMPRESSED.

YOU DID A GREAT JOB FIXING UP THAT BASEMENT.

SURE YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY DOWN THERE BY YOURSELF?

I'M A BIG BOY. I'LL BE FINE.

I THINK RORY MIGHT MISS ME SLEEPING IN HIS ROOM --

YOU KNOW, OUR LITTLE MIDNIGHT CHATS.

OKAY, GRAMPS. HERE'S THE REST OF YOUR CRAP.

THANK GOD I CAN SLEEP AGAIN.

GRANDMA EVER TELL YOU YOU SNORE LIKE AN ELEPHANT?

HE HAS MAGAZINES, CATE.

GRANDPA!

C.J.'S STILL IN THE SHOWER. IT'S BEEN 45 MINUTES.

HE'S USING UP ALL THE HOT WATER.

YEAH, NOW WE HAVE TWO BLONDES IN THIS HOUSE

WHO THINK THEY OWN THE BATHROOM.

GREAT, I HAVEN'T HAD MY SHOWER, AND I LIKE MY SHOWER.

YEAH, I LIKE MY SHOWER, TOO.

WE KNOW YOU DO.

MOTHER, YOU HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

JEREMY IS TUTORING ME TODAY.

I STILL HAVE TO DO MY HAIR, MY MAKEUP,

PRACTICE MY BRAINY POSE IN THE MIRROR.

I MEAN, IT IS JUST SO MUCH WORK BEING SMART.

YOU SO LIKE HIM.

JEREMY? I DO NOT.

HE'S MY FRIEND, HE'S MY TUTOR, HE'S --

HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND, AND YOU LOVE HIM.

YEAH, YOU LO-O-VE HIM.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT IS JUST NOT MY LOVE OF KNOWLEDGE?

OKAY, FINE. I LIKE A GEEK.

GEE, I-I SMELL SMOKE.

DAD?

WELL, DON'T LOOK AT ME.

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SMOKE INDOORS.

NO, NO, I HAVE TO SMOKE OUTSIDE

IN THE FREEZING, BITTER, MICHIGAN WINTER.

IT DOESN'T SMELL LIKE CIGARETTES.

IT SMELLS LIKE...

C.J.'S VAN! IT'S ON FIRE!

SOMETIMES I SMOKE IN C.J.'S VAN.

OH, SOMEBODY CALL 911.

JEREMY MIGHT CALL. I CAN'T CALL RIGHT NOW.

CALL 911.

OH, AND SOMEBODY TELL C.J.

I WANT TO TELL HIM.

YOU CALL 911, AND I'M GONNA TELL HIM!

YOU'RE ALL IN FOR A TREAT.

IN A FEW MINUTES, MY HAIR WILL BE EXTRA BOUNCY AND MANAGEABLE.

C.J., YOUR VAN IS ON FIRE.

MY BABY!

YOU KNOW, BRIDGET, THIS IS REALLY GOOD.

SHUT UP.

NO, I'M SURE IT'S AN "A."

I DON'T THINK YOU NEED ME ANYMORE.

OH, OH, SHE NEEDS YOU.

I NEED YOU FOR TUTORING.

NEXT WEEK, I HAVE TO DEBATE LACEY IN SPEECH CLASS.

OOH, LACEY.

SHE'S CAPTAIN OF THE DEBATE TEAM.

YOU MUST'VE BEEN BAD IN A PRIOR LIFE.

OH, SHE WAS. SHE WAS VERY, VERY NAUGHTY.

WHO'S THE HOMELESS GUY?

HEY, I'D BE REALLY INSULTED BY THAT IF I HAD A HOME.

JUST IGNORE HIM.

HE'S OUR LAZY COUSIN. HE LIVES ON THE COUCH.

HMM. WELL, YOUR HOUR'S UP.

GUESS I'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME?

OOH, IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME I HEARD THAT ONE.

OKAY, WELL, THEN, WE'LL DO THIS LATER.

HOW ABOUT SATURDAY NIGHT?

OH, I CAN'T. I'M GOING TO A PARTY.

YOU'RE GOING TO A PARTY... WITH GIRLS?

NO, SEE, IT'S A NERD PARTY.

SO WE FLIP A COIN

AND HALF OF US SHOW UP DRESSED AS GIRLS.

YES, THERE ARE GONNA BE GIRLS THERE.

HOT GIRLS?

YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

BY-Y-E.

BY-Y-E.

YOU GOT SHOT DOWN SO HARD. I LOVE IT.

HI, AUNT CATE... RORY, GRANDPYRO.

SO, C.J., WERE YOU JUST PLANNING

ON SLEEPING ON THE COUCH ALL DAY?

MAYBE IF I'D GET SOME QUIET AROUND HERE.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE WEARING SOMETHING UNDER THERE.

LOOK, C.J., YOU CANNOT JUST MOVE INTO MY LIVING ROOM.

I ACTUALLY HAVE PEOPLE COMING OVER TONIGHT.

OOH. LOUD PEOPLE?

NOBODY RAN THAT BY ME.

WOULD YOU JUST LOOK AT HIM? LOOK AT HIM.

HE'S TAKING OVER THE WHOLE LIVING ROOM.

THAT'S BECAUSE THAT VAN YOU BURNED DOWN WAS HIS HOME.

IF YOU HAD LET ME SMOKE INSIDE, IT NEVER WOULD'VE HAPPENED.

YEAH, NOW THERE'S LOGIC. YOU SOUND LIKE BRIDGET.

WHATEVER.

CATE, THIS IS YOUR HOUSE.

TAKE CHARGE, SET SOME RULES. GO ON.

OKAY.

C.J., I WANT YOU TO MOVE INTO YOUR GRANDFATHER'S ROOM.

KERRY, I NEED A FAVOR.

JEREMY'S GOING TO SOME GEEK PARTY.

I NEED YOU TO GET ME IN.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

HOW DARE YOU. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK --

CAN YOU GET ME IN OR NOT?

YEAH, I CAN GET YOU IN.

OKAY, BUT THEY'RE NOT GEEKS. THEY'RE ACADEMICS.

OKAY, WHATEVER.

I'M NOT AN ACADEMIC, AND I DON'T WANT TO STAND OUT.

SO, IS THERE ANYTHING I NEED TO KNOW?

YEAH, HISTORY, POETRY, PHILOSOPHY...ADDITION.

AND IF YOU HAVE TO SPEAK, DON'T SAY "TOTALLY" AND "SO,"

AND "OH, MY GOD."

OKAY, I CAN SO DO THAT.

I TOTALLY JUST SAID, "SO"... AND "TOTALLY."

OH, MY GOD!

HEY, GRANDPA, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

I USED YOUR TOOTHBRUSH.

YOU DID WHAT?

YEAH, MINE WAS IN MY VAN WITH THE REST OF MY STUFF.

THAT VAN WAS A FIRE TRAP.

YEAH, THIS FROM A GUY WHO WAS AROUND

WHEN FIRE WAS INVENTED.

Cate: HEY, KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO.

DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!

OKAY. SORRY.

ALL RIGHT, SCOOCH.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I'M GOING TO BED.

OH, NOT HERE, YOU'RE NOT.

IT'S OKAY, GRANDPA.

I'M WEARING UNDERPANTS THIS TIME.

WELL, I'M NOT.

YOU'RE BLUFFING.

YOU SURE THAT'S A CHANCE YOU WANT TO TAKE?

YOU THINK YOU CAN SCARE ME OFF WITH -- OHH!

WHOA, COME ON.

COME ON. I'M WEARING PAJAMAS, YOU WIMP.

THE FLAP!

SORRY.

HEY, DON'T YOU HAVE A SLEEPING BAG?

OH, YEAH, I DID.

BUT APPARENTLY WHEN VIEWED THROUGH 200-YEAR-OLD EYEBALLS,

IT LOOKS LIKE AN ASHTRAY.

YOU PIPE DOWN WITH THE OLD-GUY JOKES.

I'M NOT SO OLD I CAN'T KICK YOUR BUTT.

LIKE YOU COULD EVER CATCH ME?

YOU MOVE AT THE SPEED OF MOTHS.

PUT THE CANE DOWN AND WE GO AT IT.

WHAT IS GOING ON? IT'S BEDTIME.

HE STARTED IT. HE STARTED IT.

CATE, THIS IS JUST NOT GONNA WORK OUT.

YOU GUYS, I'M AT MY WIT'S END.

I AM A SINGLE MOM, AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVE FIVE KIDS.

THE THREE GOOD ONES ARE ASLEEP.

RELAX. THIS IS STRICTLY SHORT-TERM.

MY GIRLFRIEND SABRINA JUST GOT OUT OF THE SERVICE.

SABRINA?

YOU NEVER MENTIONED YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND.

OH, YEAH.

SHE'S GONNA COME HERE AND PICK ME UP.

WE'RE GONNA GO TO CALIFORN-I-A.

SUN, FUN, AND MARGARITAS. WHOO-HOO.

SEE, DAD?

HE WON'T EVEN BE HERE THAT MUCH LONGER.

CAN'T YOU JUST PUT ASIDE YOUR DIFFERENCES FOR A FEW DAYS?

YEAH, OR WOULD THAT RUIN YOUR PLANS

TO SMOTHER ME IN MY SLEEP?

IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD THE PILLOW PICKED OUT.

SHE'S HERE. SHE'S HERE.

NO.

DAD, NOT EVERY CAR IS GONNA BE C.J.'S GIRLFRIEND.

IT ONLY TAKES ONE TO GET HIS BUTT TO CALIFORNIA.

KERRY, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS ABOUT THIS PARTY.

IS EVERYONE THERE GONNA BE SMART?

LET'S SEE.

THERE WILL BE LACEY, JEREMY, ME. I'M GONNA BRING KYLE.

OH, KYLE. THANK GOD.

YOU KNOW, BRIDGET, I AM REALLY IMPRESSED

THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO A GEE--

ACADEMIC PARTY.

YOU KNOW, IT JUST SHOWS A LOT OF GROWTH IN YOU.

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I MET YOUR DAD AT A GEE--

ACADEMIC PARTY.

REALLY?

YEAH. I USED TO ONLY GO OUT WITH MUSICIANS AND BAD BOYS.

AND THEN ONE NIGHT MY ROOMMATE TOOK ME TO THIS PARTY

THAT WAS BEING THROWN BY THIS TOTAL BUNCH OF WRITER GEE--

GEEK, MOM. GO AHEAD AND SAY IT -- GEEK.

OH, NEVER MIND. JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME.

THAT'S YOU. YOU'RE HERE. YOU MADE IT.

THAT'S HER. SHE'S HERE. SHE MADE IT.

ALL RIGHT, LOVE MONKEY. HERE I COME.

WHOA, SHE'S ACTUALLY HOT.

WOW, LOOK, THEY'RE HUGGING.

I'VE NEVER SEEN C.J. SO HAPPY.

WAIT, SHE JUST PUSHED HIM TO THE GROUND.

WITH EASE.

NO, NO, NO. KISS AND MAKE UP.

TAKE HIM TO CALIFORNIA!

NOW SHE'S HEADING BACK TO THE CAR...

WITH HIM ON HER LEG.

SHE'S ACTUALLY DRAGGING HIM.

WITH EASE.

AN-N-D GOODBYE, LOVE MONKEY.

SEE, BRIDG, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE.

WE DON'T JUST SOLVE EQUATIONS AND DISCUSS WORLD POLITICS.

WE'RE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. WE CAN PARTY HARD.

DESCARTES -- RENé DESCARTES!

JOHN STEWART MILL!

KERRY, I JUST FEEL LIKE I STICK OUT.

I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY HERE.

I DO.

I THINK I'VE STUFFED EVERY GUY HERE IN A LOCKER.

JEREMY! OH, THAT'S CRAZY!

WE'RE BOTH AT THE SAME PARTY AT THE SAME TIME.

WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

BRIDGET, THIS ISN'T REALLY YOUR SCENE.

OH, WHO'S TO SAY WHAT SCENE BELONGS TO...WHOM?

"WHOM" IS RIGHT. SO, YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?

OH, MY GOD, YES! THIS IS SO TOTALLY...WHOM.

I CAN'T STAND TO SEE A GROWN MAN CRY.

WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF HERE?

MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY, POPPY.

CATE.

Cate: YEAH?

MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY.

UH...

C.J.?

TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

I DON'T WANT RORY TO SEE ME LIKE THIS.

NO, I'M COOL.

WELL, APPARENTLY, HER THERAPIST,

WHO SHE'S PROBABLY SLEEPING WITH,

TOLD HER SHE NEEDS TO SEE ME FACE-TO-FACE

TO END IT FOR CLOSURE.

GLAD SHE'S HEALED. DEVIL WOMAN.

SO, WHY'D SHE DUMP YOUR ASS?

RORY, OUT!

GO ON!

UGH.

I'M SORRY, C.J., BUT, YOU KNOW, SINCE HE ASKED.

SABRINA THINKS I'M KIND OF, SORT OF AIMLESS...

YEAH, RIGHT.

...WITH NO ROOTS OR FUTURE, LIKE SHE KNOWS.

AND THAT OTHER BLIBBETY-BLAB.

OH, YEAH, SHE'S MARRIED.

C.J.

WELL, SHE GOT MARRIED BECAUSE OF THE OTHER STUFF.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD ENTERTAIN

THE REMOTE POSSIBILITY

THAT SHE'S ON TO SOMETHING.

YOU ARE AIMLESS.

YOU'RE LIVING WITH YOUR GRANDFATHER IN A BASEMENT.

WHAT KIND OF FUTURE IS THAT?

GLASS HOUSES, COCHISE.

YOU KNOW, C.J., MAYBE THIS ISN'T A BAD THING.

MAYBE THIS IS A CHANCE FOR YOU TO START OVER.

YOU KNOW, YOUR UNCLE PAUL ALWAYS THOUGHT

YOU HAD A LOT OF POTENTIAL.

REALLY?

YES.

C.J., YOU'RE AN ADULT.

IT'S TIME TO START THINKING SERIOUSLY

ABOUT BECOMING INDEPENDENT.

FIND A JOB, A CAREER. GO TO COLLEGE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A BIG, WIDE WORLD OUT THERE.

JUST SPREAD YOUR WINGS AND FLY...

AWAY.

FAR, FAR AWAY.

BRIDGET, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

CAN YOU ASK ME SOMETHING? YES.

MAY YOU ASK ME SOMETHING? I DON'T KNOW.

NO, I CAN'T ASK YOU THIS.

OH, COME ON. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

NOTHING VENTURED IS NOTHING... SOMETHING.

JUST ASK ME.

ALL RIGHT. HERE GOES.

SO, SAY THERE'S THIS GUY,

AND HE WANTS TO ASK OUT THIS REALLY CUTE GIRL,

BUT HE'S AFRAID BECAUSE SHE MIGHT SAY NO.

WELL...I THINK THAT THAT GUY SHOULD TAKE THE CHANCE

ON ASKING OUT THAT BEAUTIFUL GIRL

BECAUSE I HAVE THE FEELING

THE ANSWER'S GONNA BE A BIG, FAT YES.

REALLY?

YES, TRUST ME.

ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA DO IT.

HEY, LACEY, YOU WANT TO GO OUT SOMETIME?

WHAT?

SURE.

WAIT, DO YOU LIKE PONIES?

UH...

AND DON'T JUST SAY YES SO YOU CAN GET WITH...THIS.

OKAY.

HONEY, IT'S REALLY GREAT

TO SEE YOU TAKE SUCH AN INTEREST IN YOUR STUDIES.

WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?

YEAH, YEAH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT'S ABOUT, MISSY.

IT IS ABOUT ME WINNING JEREMY AND HUMILIATING LACEY SO MUCH

THAT SHE CAN'T SHOW HER FACE ANYWHERE

AND HAS TO MOVE TO THE NORTHERN TERRITORIES

AND LIVE WITH THE BEARS

UNTIL ONE DAY SHE STARTS RIDING THAT BEAR LIKE A PONY,

AND IT TURNS AROUND 'CAUSE IT'S SO MAD AND EATS HER.

AND BECAUSE HE ATE SO MUCH OF HER,

HIS FACE STARTS TO LOOK LIKE LACEY.

AND THE OTHER BEARS GO, "HA! YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE LACEY!"

I-I MEANT, WHAT'S THE DEBATE ABOUT?

OH.

HONESTY'S THE BEST POLICY.

HEY, DAD. WHERE YOU BEEN?

JOGGING.

GEE, YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD.

I COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

C.J. KEPT WAKING ME UP EVERY TIME I STARTED SNORING.

HE SAID, "GRANDPA, YOU'RE SNORING AGAIN."

THEN WHEN I WASN'T SNORING, HE'D WAKE ME UP AND SAY,

"SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU CROAKED."

LOOK, DAD, I KNOW THAT C.J. IS CRAMPING ALL OUR STYLE.

DAMN RIGHT HE IS,

AND HE'LL STAY HERE AS LONG AS YOU LET HIM.

HE'S GONNA WALK ALL OVER YOU.

NO, HE'S NOT.

C.J.'S GONNA GET HIS ACT TOGETHER

IF WE JUST BELIEVE IN HIM.

COME ON. HE'S FAMILY.

MAYBE HE'S NOT.

WE COULD DO A DNA TEST.

DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. YOU'RE A NURSE.

GIVE SCIENCE A CHANCE.

HEY, YOU GUYS. I GOT GREAT NEWS.

YOUR GIRLFRIEND TOOK YOU BACK?

NO.

THEY LET YOU BACK IN THE ARMY? NO.

YOU GOT YOUR VAN FIXED?

I-I KNOW THE NEWS.

HOW ABOUT I'LL TELL THE NEWS, OKAY?

I TOOK AUNT CATE'S ADVICE,

AND I HAVE ENROLLED AND BEEN ACCEPTED INTO COLLEGE.

OH, YES, AN INSTITUTION OF HIGHER LEARNING.

OKAY, DO YOU MEAN COLLEGE OR AN INSTITUTION?

BECAUSE THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.

WELL, CHECK THIS OUT, CARROTTOP.

THIS IS MY FIRST SYLLABUS. IT'S A FUN WORD, ISN'T IT?

SYLLABUS. SYLLABUS. SYLLA-LA-LA-LA-BUS.

YOU KNOW, C.J., THAT IS GREAT. YOU ARE GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE.

CONGRATULATIONS. WE ARE SO PROUD.

SO -- SO HOW FAR AWAY?

IT'S CALLED GEORGE ROMNEY COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

COMMUNITY COLLEGE.

YEAH, I'M TAKING INTRO TO ASTROPHYSICS

AND, UH, LEATHERWORKS.

GEORGE ROMNEY? WHY DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?

IT'S NEXT TO THE GAS-N-SIP YOU LIMP UP TO

WHEN YOU WANT TO BUY CIGARETTES TO BURN DOWN VANS.

YEAH, IT'S DOWN THE STREET.

YOU ARE GOING TO COLLEGE DOWN THE STREET?

YEAH, ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT?

FOR YOU.

IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF BEING INDEPENDENT?

YOU'RE GONNA LIVE IN MY BASEMENT

WHILE YOU GO TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE TILL YOU GRADUATE?

LET'S SEE -- A 2-YEAR COLLEGE.

THAT SHOULD TAKE YOU, WHAT, ABOUT SIX YEARS TO COMPLETE?

YEAH, ABOUT.

C.J., I STOOD UP FOR YOU.

NOW I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE WALKING ALL OVER US.

AND IF YOU THINK

THAT YOU'RE GONNA LIVE HERE FOREVER FOR FREE,

YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND.

DID I FORGET TO MENTION

THAT I'M LIVING IN STUDENT HOUSING?

YES. YES, YOU DID.

AND -- AND THAT'S TERRIFIC, C.J.

DAD, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT C.J.?

SO, IN CONCLUSION, OUR ENTIRE SOCIETY IS BASED ON TRUST.

THEREFORE, HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY.

NO LIE. THANK YOU.

VERY NICE, BRIDGET. AND NOW WE'LL HEAR FROM LACEY.

I OFFER ONE FINAL EXAMPLE.

DURING WORLD WAR II, MANY PEOPLE LIED TO THE GESTAPO

WHEN ASKED WHETHER OR NOT THEY WERE HIDING JEWS.

THOSE WHO LIED SAVED INNOCENT PEOPLE.

WHAT BETTER EXAMPLE TO SUPPORT MY POSITION

THAT HONESTY IS NOT ALWAYS --

AS IN PERMANENT, INFINITE, ABSOLUTE --

THE BEST POLICY?

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, LACEY.

AND NOW BRIDGET'S REBUTTAL.

OKAY, YEAH.

OKAY, WELL.

LACEY OVER HERE HAS MADE SOME GREAT POINTS --

MY ESTEEMED OPPONENT.

BUT, HOWEVER...UMMMMMMM, THAT, UM -- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

THAT -- OH.

THAT -- THAT THING I SAID ABOUT THE SOCIETY -- TRUE.

AND, UM -- YES, VERY TRUE.

OH, HONESTY -- HONESTY. THIS IS -- THIS IS HONESTY.

THE OTHER DAY, I HAD LIPSTICK ON MY TEETH, AND TALIA TOLD ME.

AND EVEN THOUGH SHE DIDN'T REALLY SAVE MY LIFE,

IF I WOULD HAVE GONE OUT WITH LIPSTICK ON MY TEETH,

I WOULD HAVE TOTALLY DIED.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? IT'S A -- THANK YOU.

LACEY, YOUR REBUTTAL.

I'M GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, CLASS.

WE'LL PICK IT UP FROM HERE TOMORROW.

HEY, NICE JOB.

YEAH, RIGHT.

I TOTALLY EMBARRASSED MYSELF.

YOU DID NOT.

IT'S NOT AS THOUGH YOU HAVE LIPSTICK ON YOUR TEETH.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY, OKAY? I'M HUMILIATED.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

GO CONGRATULATE YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

WHAT ARE YOU SO MAD AT ME FOR?

I AM NOT MAD AT YOU!

SHE HISSED.

YOU KNOW, YOU JUST THINK YOU'RE SO SMART

WITH YOUR STRAIGHT A's,

AND I GO TO YOUR ACADEMIC PARTIES,

AND I TRY AND BE NOTICED BY YOU,

AND IT'S LIKE, "BUY A VOWEL, ALREADY."

YOU'VE GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST SMART GUY

I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

BUT IT JUST TURNS OUT YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE ME.

IT'S FINE. WHATEVER.

WHOA. W-WHAT? BRIDGET, I LIKE YOU.

I MEAN, I REALLY LIKE YOU.

I MEAN, GOSH, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL,

YOU'RE SWEET, AND YOU'RE SMART.

YOU KNOW, AT MOST I THOUGHT WE COULD BE FRIENDS.

BUT, I MEAN, I NEVER WOULD HAVE DREAMED

THAT BRIDGET HENNESSY COULD LIKE SOMEONE WHO --

I'M IN MY WORLD. YOU'RE IN YOURS.

OKAY, YOU'RE BEING INITIATED INTO SOME CLUB, AREN'T YOU?

BECAUSE, I MEAN, THERE'S --

WILL YOU MARRY ME? I'LL QUIT SCHOOL, GET A JOB.

SO, WAIT.

ALL THAT STUFF YOU WERE SAYING AT THE PARTY

ABOUT ASKING SOME GIRL OUT WAS REALLY ME?

BUT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO

BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS WAY, WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE

AND UNOBTAINABLE AND STUFF.

YOU DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO GO OUT WITH LACEY, DID YOU?

NO, WE WENT OUT.

WHAT?

WELL, YOU KNOW, WE BROKE UP. YEAH, SHE DUMPED ME.

I MEAN, I LIKE PONIES AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY,

BUT SHE'S A FREAK.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD ON A SECOND.

I AM YOUR REBOUND TO PONY GIRL?

LET'S TRY NOT TO LOOK AT IT THAT WAY.

HERE YOU GO, HON.

GEE, IT'S SO QUIET AROUND HERE WITHOUT C.J.

IT'S CALLED PEACE.

HEY, EVERYBODY. WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, YEAH. I'M BACK, AND I'M IN A GOOD MOOD.

IN LEATHER CLASS, I GOT AN "A" MINUS ON MY BELT.

C.J., AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE LIVING AT SCHOOL?

YEAH, WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN AFFORD THE MEAL PLAN.

I'M SAVING UP FOR A NEW VAN -- A COOL ONE WITH FLAMES ON IT.

SO, YOU'LL BE COMING HERE EVERY NIGHT FOR DINNER?

WHOA, HEY. I CAN'T PROMISE EVERY NIGHT.

I DO HAVE A LIFE.

HEY, PIPPY, STOP BOGARTING THE MAC AND CHEESE.