All language subtitles for 8.Simple.Rules.for.Dating.My.Teenage.Daughter.S02E13.Opposites.Attract.Part.1.of.3.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,099 --> 00:00:04,557 HEY, LOOK WHAT THE VALENTINE'S DAY ELF BROUGHT YOU. 2 00:00:04,557 --> 00:00:08,016 THE BAG SAYS "CAR WASH" ON IT. 3 00:00:08,016 --> 00:00:09,641 IT WAS ON THE WAY HOME. 4 00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:11,641 AUNT CATE... 5 00:00:11,641 --> 00:00:13,932 BE MINE. 6 00:00:13,932 --> 00:00:15,557 CAR FRESHENER. 7 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,682 WELL, YOU KNOW, C.J., NOTHING SAYS "BE MINE" 8 00:00:17,682 --> 00:00:20,224 LIKE "YOUR CAR STINKS." 9 00:00:20,224 --> 00:00:23,057 AND, BRIDGET... 10 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:26,641 A GENUINE BOBBLEHEAD DOLL OF MR. WAYNE GRETZKY. 11 00:00:28,932 --> 00:00:31,182 YOU'RE WELCOME. 12 00:00:31,182 --> 00:00:34,099 AND WHAT DID THE ELF GET FOR KERRY THE ELF? 13 00:00:34,099 --> 00:00:36,141 SOME WATER... 14 00:00:36,141 --> 00:00:37,557 FROM FRANCE. 15 00:00:39,682 --> 00:00:42,474 SURE, THEY'RE COWARDS, BUT THEY DO MAKE THE BEST WATER. 16 00:00:44,282 --> 00:00:45,699 AND, RORY, I'M SORRY. 17 00:00:45,699 --> 00:00:48,199 THERE'S NOTHING IN THE ELF BAG FOR YOU... 18 00:00:48,199 --> 00:00:50,366 EXCEPT... 19 00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:53,366 A POSTCARD OF TWO GORILLAS DRINKING BEER. 20 00:00:53,366 --> 00:00:57,241 IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH, BUT IT MADE ME LAUGH. 21 00:00:57,241 --> 00:01:00,241 TWO GORILLAS DRINKING BEER MADE YOU -- 22 00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:07,574 AND FOR MY FAVORITE GAMPY... 23 00:01:07,574 --> 00:01:09,741 SEA MONKEYS? 24 00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:14,199 THEY SAY PETS MAKE OLD PEOPLE LIVE LONGER. 25 00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:18,491 FOR EVERY ACTION, 26 00:01:18,491 --> 00:01:20,866 THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION. 27 00:01:20,866 --> 00:01:22,782 WHEN YOU SIT IN YOUR CHAIR... 28 00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,699 ANYWAY, I REALLY LIKE THE HIGH-RISE THONG, 29 00:01:24,699 --> 00:01:27,032 BUT ALL THEY SEEM TO MAKE ARE THE LOW-RIDING KIND. 30 00:01:27,032 --> 00:01:28,241 THAT IS SO TRUE. 31 00:01:28,241 --> 00:01:29,574 I JUST HATE THAT. 32 00:01:29,574 --> 00:01:31,657 YOU KNOW, I APPRECIATE YOUR UNDERWEAR DILEMMA, 33 00:01:31,657 --> 00:01:33,491 BUT I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE TEACHER. 34 00:01:33,491 --> 00:01:34,991 I'M TRYING TO LISTEN, TOO. 35 00:01:34,991 --> 00:01:37,074 ANYWAY, THE LOW-RIDING THONG DRIVES ME NUTS. 36 00:01:37,074 --> 00:01:38,907 I CAN'T STAND THE WAY -- EXCUSE ME. 37 00:01:38,907 --> 00:01:40,282 I'M TALKING. 38 00:01:40,282 --> 00:01:42,116 NONSTOP. 39 00:01:42,116 --> 00:01:44,782 JEREMY, BRIDGET, IS THERE A PROBLEM? 40 00:01:44,782 --> 00:01:45,866 NO. I'M FINE. 41 00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:48,366 SCIENCE GEEK. MORON. 42 00:01:48,366 --> 00:01:51,657 OKAY, JEREMY AND BRIDGET ARE GOING TO BE LAB PARTNERS. 43 00:01:51,657 --> 00:01:55,032 AND KELLY AND JENNA, 44 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,782 AND SCOTT AND SHARON. 45 00:01:57,782 --> 00:01:59,616 GREAT. YAY. 46 00:01:59,616 --> 00:02:01,741 NOW WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER. YOU KNOW WHAT? 47 00:02:01,741 --> 00:02:03,991 JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND WE'LL BOTH GET A's. 48 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,157 YOU KNOW WHAT? 49 00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:07,657 KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND WE'LL BOTH GET D's. 50 00:02:07,657 --> 00:02:09,282 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 51 00:02:09,282 --> 00:02:11,949 DID YOU SAY YOU'RE GETTING AN "A" IN THIS CLASS? 52 00:02:11,949 --> 00:02:13,366 YEP. 53 00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,532 HOW 'BOUT ENGLISH? GETTING AN "A" IN THAT, TOO? 54 00:02:15,532 --> 00:02:16,741 WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH. 55 00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:18,991 NO, I ASKED, "ARE YOU GETTING AN 'A'?" 56 00:02:18,991 --> 00:02:21,616 NO, IT'S "WHAT ABOUT ENGLISH?" NOT "HOW ABOUT ENGLISH?" 57 00:02:21,616 --> 00:02:23,574 I MEAN, MAYBE IF YOU SPOKE ENGLISH -- 58 00:02:23,574 --> 00:02:26,824 AND MAYBE IF YOU SPOKE...REGULAR. 59 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:29,949 OKAY, HERE'S THE THING. 60 00:02:29,949 --> 00:02:31,699 SEE, MY GRADES ARE JUST A WEE BIT LOWER 61 00:02:31,699 --> 00:02:34,866 THAN THEY NEED TO BE FOR ME TO GET INTO COLLEGE. SHOCKER. 62 00:02:34,866 --> 00:02:37,574 MY MOM'S TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ABOUT ME GOING TO COLLEGE, 63 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,449 AS IF MY ENTIRE FUTURE RIDES ON IT. 64 00:02:39,449 --> 00:02:41,657 BUT LOOK AT ME. YOU KNOW I'M GONNA MARRY WELL. 65 00:02:41,657 --> 00:02:43,366 AND OFTEN. 66 00:02:43,366 --> 00:02:45,449 THAT IS SO SWEET. 67 00:02:45,449 --> 00:02:47,657 SO, YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING IS 68 00:02:47,657 --> 00:02:50,199 MAYBE YOU COULD BE MY LAB PARTNER IN ENGLISH 69 00:02:50,199 --> 00:02:51,699 AND IN SCIENCE. 70 00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:53,282 DON'T YOU MEAN YOUR TUTOR? 71 00:02:53,282 --> 00:02:55,366 TUTOR, LAB PARTNER -- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 72 00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:57,407 ABOUT 10 BUCKS AN HOUR. 73 00:02:57,407 --> 00:02:59,282 COME ON. YOU GET TO BE WITH ME. 74 00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:01,324 $15. 75 00:03:03,741 --> 00:03:06,741 THIS IS JUST GONNA BE THE MOST ROMANTIC VALENTINE'S DAY EVER. 76 00:03:06,741 --> 00:03:08,032 WHY'S THAT? 77 00:03:08,032 --> 00:03:10,282 DYLAN'S GONNA PICK ME UP IN HIS CONVERTIBLE 78 00:03:10,282 --> 00:03:11,616 AND SHOWER ME WITH GIFTS. 79 00:03:11,616 --> 00:03:13,782 I JUST LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY. 80 00:03:13,782 --> 00:03:14,991 IT'S TOTALLY STUPID. 81 00:03:14,991 --> 00:03:16,116 HUH? 82 00:03:17,699 --> 00:03:19,449 IT'S A MADE-UP CORPORATE HOLIDAY. 83 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,824 THERE'S SO MUCH PRESSURE TO DO SOMETHING BIG, 84 00:03:21,824 --> 00:03:24,324 BUT EVERYONE JUST WINDS UP DOING SOMETHING MECHANICAL 85 00:03:24,324 --> 00:03:26,366 AND ROTE AND WITH NO FEELING AT ALL. 86 00:03:26,366 --> 00:03:29,366 YEAH. AND THOSE LITTLE HEARTS TASTE LIKE CHALK. 87 00:03:31,199 --> 00:03:33,657 I REMEMBER IN HIGH SCHOOL I NEEDED A DUFFEL BAG 88 00:03:33,657 --> 00:03:35,616 TO CARRY ALL THE CARDS I GOT. 89 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,782 OH, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? 90 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,824 SURE, I MAY NOT BE MUCH NOW, 91 00:03:39,824 --> 00:03:42,782 AS A RESULT OF SOME HARD AND, YES, QUESTIONABLE LIVING, 92 00:03:42,782 --> 00:03:45,199 BUT BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS BUFF, YOUNG, 93 00:03:45,199 --> 00:03:47,324 AND TAN, GOOD-LOOKING. 94 00:03:47,324 --> 00:03:49,366 YEAH, I WAS THE MAN. 95 00:03:49,366 --> 00:03:51,241 OH, YEAH? SHOW US A PICTURE. 96 00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:53,074 LET'S SEE YOUR YEARBOOK. 97 00:03:54,657 --> 00:03:57,199 THE MAN WAS SICK ON PICTURE DAY. 98 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:03,366 GRANDPA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 99 00:04:03,366 --> 00:04:04,741 NOTHING. 100 00:04:04,741 --> 00:04:06,074 NOTHING? 101 00:04:06,074 --> 00:04:07,699 NO, THAT'S ONE OF THE GREAT THINGS 102 00:04:07,699 --> 00:04:09,366 ABOUT HAVING YOUR WIFE LEAVE YOU. 103 00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:11,824 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO A SINGLE THING ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 104 00:04:11,824 --> 00:04:14,282 NOTHING, NADA, ZIPPO. 105 00:04:14,282 --> 00:04:16,407 WELL, IF YOU WERE GETTING GRAM SOMETHING -- 106 00:04:16,407 --> 00:04:18,199 OH, PLEASE. YOU CAN'T WIN THAT ONE. 107 00:04:18,199 --> 00:04:21,282 EVERY YEAR YOU GOT TO TOP WHAT YOU GAVE THE YEAR BEFORE. 108 00:04:21,282 --> 00:04:23,907 YOU GIVE 'EM FLOWERS, YOU GOT TO GIVE 'EM MORE FLOWERS 109 00:04:23,907 --> 00:04:26,324 AND NOT THE ONES FROM THE YARD. NO, NO. 110 00:04:26,324 --> 00:04:28,616 YOU GOT TO PAY THOSE JACKED-UP STORE PRICES 111 00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:32,657 FOR THE SAME DAMN FLOWERS EXCEPT THEY HAVE CELLOPHANE. 112 00:04:32,657 --> 00:04:34,991 AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON CANDY. 113 00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:36,907 DON'T WORRY. I GOT THE POINT. 114 00:04:36,907 --> 00:04:38,699 YOU GET 'EM A BIG BOX OF CHOCOLATES, 115 00:04:38,699 --> 00:04:40,866 AND IT'S LIKE, "HEY, WHAT'D YOU GET ME THAT FOR? 116 00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:42,199 IT'S SO FATTENING." 117 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:44,366 YOU GET 'EM A LITTLE BITTY BOX AND IT'S LIKE, 118 00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:45,866 "OH, SO YOU THINK I'M FAT." 119 00:04:45,866 --> 00:04:47,907 NOW, JEWELRY IS THE WORST. 120 00:04:47,907 --> 00:04:49,949 GRAMPS, I GOT TO GO. 121 00:04:53,574 --> 00:04:55,824 NO, DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP. 122 00:04:55,824 --> 00:04:57,741 NO, YOU SHUT UP. 123 00:04:57,741 --> 00:04:59,366 DYLAN, YOU SHUT UP. 124 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,866 OKAY, YOU SHUT UP. 125 00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,949 OKAY, BYE. 126 00:05:03,949 --> 00:05:05,491 MY NEW BOYFRIEND -- 127 00:05:05,491 --> 00:05:07,366 HE SO GETS ME. 128 00:05:08,866 --> 00:05:10,824 MM-HMM. 129 00:05:10,824 --> 00:05:12,366 ALL RIGHT. 130 00:05:12,366 --> 00:05:15,157 SO, WHAT IS EURIPIDES TRYING TO SAY ABOUT WAR 131 00:05:15,157 --> 00:05:17,032 AND THE TROJAN WOMEN? 132 00:05:19,157 --> 00:05:20,449 WHY AM I GETTING THE IMPRESSION 133 00:05:20,449 --> 00:05:22,157 THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN READ THE PLAY? 134 00:05:22,157 --> 00:05:24,241 WELL, I KIND OF GOT AS FAR AS THE TROJAN 135 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,824 AND STARTED TO GIGGLE. 136 00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:33,782 ALL RIGHT, BRIDGET, YOU HAVE TO LISTEN, OKAY? 137 00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:37,074 NOW, HELEN IS THE FACE THAT LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHIPS. 138 00:05:38,074 --> 00:05:39,449 LET ME PUT IT IN YOUR WORDS. 139 00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:41,282 UM, SHE WAS, LIKE, TOTALLY HOT. 140 00:05:43,199 --> 00:05:45,907 OHHH. 141 00:05:45,907 --> 00:05:49,199 SO THAT'S WHY MEN WENT TO WAR FOR HER. 142 00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,616 THAT ACTUALLY BRINGS UP AN INTERESTING POINT. 143 00:05:53,032 --> 00:05:54,866 DO YOU THINK THE WAR STARTED OVER A WOMAN, 144 00:05:54,866 --> 00:05:57,282 OR DO YOU THINK THE GREEKS WERE TRYING TO GET CONTROL 145 00:05:57,282 --> 00:05:58,532 OVER A WATERWAY? 146 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,157 CAN I USE A LIFELINE? 147 00:06:04,991 --> 00:06:07,907 MOM, WHAT'S THE BEST GIFT DAD EVER GOT YOU 148 00:06:07,907 --> 00:06:09,366 FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 149 00:06:11,032 --> 00:06:14,366 WELL, YOUR DAD AND I HAD THIS TRADITION. 150 00:06:14,366 --> 00:06:17,866 HE WOULD GET ME MY FAVORITE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE, 151 00:06:17,866 --> 00:06:22,574 AN AMAZING BOX OF CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES, AND ONE RED ROSE. 152 00:06:22,574 --> 00:06:25,157 JUST ONE? DAD WAS CHEAP? 153 00:06:26,157 --> 00:06:27,532 NO. 154 00:06:27,532 --> 00:06:29,407 WELL... 155 00:06:29,407 --> 00:06:30,949 NO. 156 00:06:30,949 --> 00:06:33,616 IT'S JUST THAT WE DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO 157 00:06:33,616 --> 00:06:36,449 THAT A SMALL TASTE OF THE BEST OF SOMETHING 158 00:06:36,449 --> 00:06:40,032 WAS BETTER THAN A HUGE AMOUNT OF SOMETHING JUST SO-SO. 159 00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,657 THAT'S REALLY ROMANTIC. YEAH. 160 00:06:42,657 --> 00:06:44,282 AND CHEAP. 161 00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:48,449 JEREMY, PLEASE DON'T GO. 162 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,074 I NEED TO STUDY. 163 00:06:50,074 --> 00:06:52,032 BRIDGET, I HAVE MY OWN STUDYING TO DO. 164 00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:54,116 I'M NOT GONNA WASTE MY TIME WITH SOMEONE 165 00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:56,574 WHO USES HER CELLPHONE LIKE IT'S PROVIDING OXYGEN. 166 00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:06,199 WHAT? 167 00:07:06,199 --> 00:07:09,199 BRIDGET, YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GUY 168 00:07:09,199 --> 00:07:10,574 IN YOUR ROOM. 169 00:07:10,574 --> 00:07:12,199 I AM TRYING TO GET INTO COLLEGE. 170 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,907 DID HE SAY HE COULD GET YOU INTO COLLEGE? 171 00:07:17,282 --> 00:07:20,282 SO, WHAT ARE YOU AND KYLE DOING FOR VALENTINE'S DAY? 172 00:07:20,282 --> 00:07:22,741 OH, WE'RE GOING TO THE MOVIES. IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 173 00:07:22,741 --> 00:07:24,366 KERRY, THIS IS YOUR FIRST VALENTINE'S DAY 174 00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:26,199 WITH A BOYFRIEND INSTEAD OF A STUFFED ANIMAL. 175 00:07:26,199 --> 00:07:28,991 YOU MIGHT WANT TO LIGHTEN UP AND ENJOY IT. 176 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,199 IT'S TOTALLY STUPID. 177 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:32,241 IT'S A DAY THAT EXISTS TO POINT OUT 178 00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:34,199 WHO HAS SOMEBODY AND WHO DOESN'T. 179 00:07:34,199 --> 00:07:36,574 AND IT MAKES THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T FEEL AWFUL. 180 00:07:36,574 --> 00:07:39,574 OH, KERRY, IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM ANYMORE. 181 00:07:39,574 --> 00:07:40,782 THAT IS THE PAST, 182 00:07:40,782 --> 00:07:43,199 AND THIS YEAR YOU'LL BE GETTING A VALENTINE CARD 183 00:07:43,199 --> 00:07:44,741 THAT YOU DIDN'T MAIL TO YOURSELF. 184 00:07:44,741 --> 00:07:46,241 I'VE NEVER MAILED -- 185 00:07:49,491 --> 00:07:51,616 AND KYLE IS GOING TO WINE AND DINE YOU 186 00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:53,241 AND SHOWER YOU WITH PRESENTS, 187 00:07:53,241 --> 00:07:55,074 AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT, 188 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:57,116 YOU ARE GONNA FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS. 189 00:07:57,116 --> 00:08:00,199 WELL, I GUESS FEELING LIKE A PRINCESS JUST ONCE 190 00:08:00,199 --> 00:08:02,574 WOULDN'T TOTALLY SUCK. 191 00:08:04,199 --> 00:08:05,407 IT'S DYLAN. 192 00:08:05,407 --> 00:08:07,907 PROBABLY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT TO GET ME FOR VALENTINE'S. 193 00:08:07,907 --> 00:08:09,241 HI, DYLAN. 194 00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:11,366 I LIKE DARK CHOCOLATE, ANYTHING GUMMY -- 195 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,991 WHAT? 196 00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:14,324 WHAT? 197 00:08:14,324 --> 00:08:16,449 OKAY, WHATEVER. 198 00:08:16,449 --> 00:08:18,074 BYE. 199 00:08:18,074 --> 00:08:21,074 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. HE JUST HAD TO CANCEL. 200 00:08:21,074 --> 00:08:24,157 WHY? SOMETHING ABOUT APPENDICITIS. 201 00:08:24,157 --> 00:08:26,032 APPENDICITIS? THAT'S AWFUL. 202 00:08:26,032 --> 00:08:27,407 YEAH, AND ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 203 00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,324 WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO ME? 204 00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:33,616 KERRY, I LIVE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY. 205 00:08:33,616 --> 00:08:36,991 I MEAN, IT'S A DAY SET ASIDE FOR BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. 206 00:08:38,199 --> 00:08:40,157 SO, YOU DON'T THINK THAT UNATTRACTIVE PEOPLE 207 00:08:40,157 --> 00:08:41,574 FALL IN LOVE? 208 00:08:41,574 --> 00:08:43,907 OH, KERRY, THAT'S NOT LOVE. THAT'S COMPANY. 209 00:08:49,824 --> 00:08:51,824 HI, GRANDPA. 210 00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:54,407 DID YOU NAME YOUR SEA MONKEYS YET? 211 00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:58,741 C.J., WOULD YOU COME OVER HERE FOR A MINUTE? 212 00:08:58,741 --> 00:09:00,157 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 213 00:09:01,949 --> 00:09:04,282 WHERE'S THE CANE? 214 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:07,866 THROW IT OVER THERE. 215 00:09:14,657 --> 00:09:17,824 YOU KNOW, C.J., IT REALLY HURTS MY FEELINGS 216 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,699 WHEN YOU MAKE JOKES ABOUT ME BEING OLD. 217 00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:22,657 REALLY? 218 00:09:22,657 --> 00:09:24,991 GRANDPA, I FEEL TERRIBLE. 219 00:09:24,991 --> 00:09:27,699 I THINK I NEED TO DRINK SOMETHING TO FEEL BETTER. 220 00:09:27,699 --> 00:09:31,282 OR, OR YOU COULD DO ME A LITTLE FAVOR. 221 00:09:31,282 --> 00:09:33,074 SURE. WHAT DO YOU NEED? 222 00:09:33,074 --> 00:09:35,241 WELL, I WANT YOU TO BUY ME SOME DRUGS. 223 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,574 IS THIS A STING? 224 00:09:39,116 --> 00:09:42,157 NO, NO. IT'S MEDICATION FOR MY HIP. 225 00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:43,366 OH, COOL. RIGHT. 226 00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:45,324 OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU GET A PEN, 227 00:09:45,324 --> 00:09:48,241 AND IF YOU COULD WRITE IT DOWN ON A... 228 00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:50,574 PIECE OF PAPER. 229 00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:54,157 ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID? 230 00:09:54,157 --> 00:09:56,324 ALL RIGHT, I'M ON IT. 231 00:09:56,324 --> 00:09:58,324 HEY, THANK YOU, SON. 232 00:09:58,324 --> 00:10:00,907 THE THING OF IT IS IT'S ON BACK ORDER RIGHT NOW, 233 00:10:00,907 --> 00:10:03,282 AND THE ONLY PLACE YOU CAN GET IT IS CANADA. 234 00:10:03,282 --> 00:10:04,241 WHAT?! 235 00:10:06,157 --> 00:10:10,282 DUDE, I'M NOT GOING TO CANADA FOR YOU ON VALENTINE'S DAY. 236 00:10:10,282 --> 00:10:12,782 I'LL NEVER MAKE IT BACK IN TIME FOR LAST CALL, 237 00:10:12,782 --> 00:10:15,407 AND THAT'S WHEN I GET GOOD-LOOKING. 238 00:10:20,991 --> 00:10:23,199 ALL RIGHT, OLD YELLER, I'LL GO. 239 00:10:25,032 --> 00:10:26,991 I'LL BE BACK AS SOON AS I CAN. 240 00:10:26,991 --> 00:10:28,324 THANK YOU, SON. 241 00:10:29,241 --> 00:10:32,824 WHAT A TOOL. 242 00:10:40,449 --> 00:10:42,282 HEY, HONEY. 243 00:10:42,282 --> 00:10:44,032 HEY, MOM. 244 00:10:46,157 --> 00:10:47,782 OH -- 245 00:10:47,782 --> 00:10:49,366 OH, MY GOD. 246 00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:52,366 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS. 247 00:10:52,366 --> 00:10:53,407 WELL, I -- 248 00:10:53,407 --> 00:10:55,616 RORY, THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING 249 00:10:55,616 --> 00:10:58,157 ANYONE HAS EVER DONE FOR ME. 250 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:01,157 HONEY, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 251 00:11:01,157 --> 00:11:04,907 THANK YOU, REALLY, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. 252 00:11:04,907 --> 00:11:07,282 OH, RORY. 253 00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:16,157 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, MOM. 254 00:11:24,907 --> 00:11:26,157 HEY, ROR. 255 00:11:26,157 --> 00:11:27,282 HEY, MISSY. 256 00:11:27,282 --> 00:11:28,949 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 257 00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,574 WOW. 258 00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:32,657 THIS IS SO COOL. 259 00:11:41,157 --> 00:11:42,866 I HAVE TO TELL YOU, KERRY, 260 00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:45,741 THIS IS THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER. 261 00:11:45,741 --> 00:11:48,366 THAT IS SO SWEET. 262 00:11:48,366 --> 00:11:50,324 SO DO YOU WANT TO EXCHANGE GIFTS NOW, 263 00:11:50,324 --> 00:11:52,366 OR DO YOU WANT TO WAIT FOR LATER? 264 00:11:52,366 --> 00:11:54,324 HA! GOOD ONE. 265 00:11:54,324 --> 00:11:57,324 THANKS. 266 00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,157 YOU KNOW, AND TO THINK LAST YEAR 267 00:11:59,157 --> 00:12:01,199 I BOUGHT YOUR SISTER ALL THAT STUFF. 268 00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:04,282 I MEAN, I'M SAVING, LIKE, SO MUCH MONEY. 269 00:12:06,574 --> 00:12:09,532 SO, WHAT MOVIE DO YOU WANT TO SEE? 270 00:12:09,532 --> 00:12:13,366 THERE'S THAT LOVEY-DOVEY SANDRA BULLOCK MOVIE. 271 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,199 YEAH, I WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY GOT STUCK 272 00:12:15,199 --> 00:12:17,157 SEEING THAT ONE LAST YEAR... 273 00:12:17,157 --> 00:12:18,824 BUT NOT THIS YEAR. 274 00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:21,491 I LOVE GOING OUT WITH YOU. 275 00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:25,199 YEAH, I LOVE GOING OUT WITH YOU, TOO. 276 00:12:25,199 --> 00:12:27,866 "NIGHT OF THE GORY DEAD CORPSES." 277 00:12:27,866 --> 00:12:29,241 ONE, PLEASE. 278 00:12:35,866 --> 00:12:38,782 YOU KNOW, AT FIRST, I THOUGHT THE PLAY WAS REALLY ROMANTIC, 279 00:12:38,782 --> 00:12:40,241 BUT THEN THE END IS SO SAD. 280 00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:43,824 IT'S LIKE EURIPIDES IS SAYING WAR IS BAD. 281 00:12:43,824 --> 00:12:45,241 WOW. 282 00:12:45,241 --> 00:12:47,157 YOU ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND THE PLAY. 283 00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:49,741 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK. 284 00:12:49,741 --> 00:12:51,782 THANK YOU. 285 00:12:51,782 --> 00:12:54,491 AND YOU'RE NOT AS DULL AS YOU LOOK. 286 00:12:54,491 --> 00:12:57,782 WELL, LOOK AT YOU -- A GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT INSULT. 287 00:12:57,782 --> 00:12:58,991 SHUT UP. 288 00:12:58,991 --> 00:13:00,116 YOU SHUT UP. 289 00:13:00,116 --> 00:13:01,282 NO, YOU SHUT UP. 290 00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:02,324 NO, YOU SHUT UP. 291 00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:05,199 HELLO, BRIDGET, JEREMY. 292 00:13:05,199 --> 00:13:07,241 HEY, JENNA. 293 00:13:07,241 --> 00:13:09,074 WELL, I'M GONNA GO FIND OUR WAITRESS, 294 00:13:09,074 --> 00:13:10,866 SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH OUR SHAKES. 295 00:13:12,616 --> 00:13:14,116 WOW. 296 00:13:14,116 --> 00:13:16,282 DON'T YOU TWO MAKE A CUTE COUPLE. 297 00:13:16,282 --> 00:13:17,199 ME AND JEREMY? 298 00:13:17,199 --> 00:13:19,491 NO, NO. YOU DON'T THINK WE'RE TOGETHER TOGETHER. 299 00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:21,407 HE'S MY TUTOR. OH, REALLY? 300 00:13:21,407 --> 00:13:24,366 WHAT'S HE TUTORING YOU IN -- LOVE? 301 00:13:24,366 --> 00:13:25,657 WE WERE STUDYING AT MY HOUSE 302 00:13:25,657 --> 00:13:27,241 AND WANTED TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. 303 00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:29,907 I'M TOTALLY GOING OUT WITH DYLAN, WHO'S GOT APPENDICITIS. 304 00:13:29,907 --> 00:13:31,157 YEAH, RIGHT, BRIDG. 305 00:13:31,157 --> 00:13:32,824 HE WAS GONNA TAKE MY OUT ANYWAY, 306 00:13:32,824 --> 00:13:33,991 BUT I WAS LIKE, "DYLAN, YOU CAN'T DRIVE 307 00:13:33,991 --> 00:13:35,032 WITH YOUR GUTS HANGING OUT." 308 00:13:35,032 --> 00:13:37,324 CALL THE HOSPITAL. HE'S THERE. 309 00:13:37,324 --> 00:13:38,574 I'M JUST TEASING. 310 00:13:38,574 --> 00:13:41,282 I PROMISE I WON'T TELL ANYONE YOU'RE HERE, OKAY? 311 00:13:43,366 --> 00:13:45,449 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 312 00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:50,199 WELL, OUR SHAKES ARE COMING. 313 00:13:50,199 --> 00:13:53,116 SOMETHING ABOUT THE MACHINE BEING BROKEN. 314 00:13:55,366 --> 00:13:56,824 THAT TWO-FACED LIAR. 315 00:13:56,824 --> 00:13:58,699 NO, I THINK SHE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH. 316 00:13:58,699 --> 00:14:00,574 THE MANAGER'S BACK THERE WORKING ON IT. 317 00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:02,199 SO, WHERE WERE WE? 318 00:14:02,199 --> 00:14:03,366 OH, THAT'S RIGHT. 319 00:14:03,366 --> 00:14:05,241 YOU WERE PRETENDING NEVER TO HAVE NOTICED ME. 320 00:14:05,241 --> 00:14:07,991 CAN WE JUST STICK TO THE STUFF 321 00:14:07,991 --> 00:14:09,491 THAT'S GONNA BE ON THE TEST? 322 00:14:09,491 --> 00:14:11,616 WHY? YOU KNOW THE MATERIAL BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS. 323 00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:13,782 YOU CAN GO BACK TO TELLING ME TO SHUT UP AND STUFF. 324 00:14:13,782 --> 00:14:15,699 OKAY, SHUT UP. NO, YOU SHUT UP. 325 00:14:15,699 --> 00:14:17,449 DO YOU HAVE TO TALK SO LOUD? 326 00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:19,866 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 327 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,324 OH, I GET IT. 328 00:14:29,324 --> 00:14:31,241 YOU DO? 329 00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:34,366 YEAH. YEAH, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR. 330 00:14:34,366 --> 00:14:37,616 WELL, I GOT TO GO. 331 00:14:37,616 --> 00:14:39,157 MY GIRLFRIEND'S WAITING, 332 00:14:39,157 --> 00:14:42,116 AND MARCHING-BAND PRACTICE JUST GOT OUT. 333 00:14:42,116 --> 00:14:43,491 I GOT TO GO MEET HER. 334 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:46,324 WE'RE GONNA GO SHOPPING FOR XYLOPHONES. 335 00:14:49,157 --> 00:14:51,366 THANK YOU. YEAH. 336 00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:54,199 SO, IF YOU JUST WANT TO PAY ME, I'LL GET OUT OF HERE. 337 00:14:56,532 --> 00:14:58,241 DOUBLE. 338 00:14:58,241 --> 00:14:59,866 IT'S A HOLIDAY. 339 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,532 HERE, THESE ARE FOR YOU. 340 00:15:11,532 --> 00:15:14,532 OH, RORY, THIS IS SO SWEET. 341 00:15:14,532 --> 00:15:17,574 AREN'T THESE THE SILK FLOWERS FROM THE BATHROOM? 342 00:15:17,574 --> 00:15:20,991 UH...UH... 343 00:15:20,991 --> 00:15:22,449 WOMEN. 344 00:15:24,949 --> 00:15:27,032 Cate: RORY! 345 00:15:27,032 --> 00:15:28,157 WAIT HERE ONE SEC. 346 00:15:28,157 --> 00:15:30,032 OKAY. 347 00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:32,449 HONEY, ABOUT THESE GIFTS -- 348 00:15:32,449 --> 00:15:34,741 YOU KNOW, THE CIDER AND CHOCOLATE. 349 00:15:34,741 --> 00:15:36,574 I REALIZED I MADE A MISTAKE. 350 00:15:36,574 --> 00:15:38,824 MAKE SURE THEY GET TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNER. 351 00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:41,532 NO, MOM, THEY'RE FOR YOU. YOU KEEP THEM. 352 00:15:41,532 --> 00:15:45,532 UM, HONEY, THOSE SILK FLOWERS FROM THE BATHROOM, 353 00:15:45,532 --> 00:15:47,741 THEY'RE REALLY EXPENSIVE. 354 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,491 GET 'EM BACK. 355 00:15:57,532 --> 00:15:59,657 HERE -- HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. 356 00:15:59,657 --> 00:16:03,491 OH, RORY, THIS IS SO ROMANTIC. 357 00:16:03,491 --> 00:16:04,366 THANK YOU. 358 00:16:04,366 --> 00:16:06,032 SHOULD I GET US TWO GLASSES? 359 00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,074 OKAY. 360 00:16:08,282 --> 00:16:10,366 HEY, THIS IS USED CHOCOLATE. 361 00:16:10,366 --> 00:16:12,699 WHAT? 362 00:16:12,699 --> 00:16:14,991 YEAH, SOMEONE ATE, LIKE, HALF THE BOX. 363 00:16:16,116 --> 00:16:17,282 Sorry. 364 00:16:22,032 --> 00:16:24,991 ISN'T A SMALL AMOUNT OF SOMETHING REALLY GOOD 365 00:16:24,991 --> 00:16:28,366 BETTER THAN A WHOLE LOT OF SOMETHING THAT'S ONLY SO-SO? 366 00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:32,032 SOUNDS LIKE A FANCY WAY OF SAYING "CHEAP." 367 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,907 BUT I -- LET ME -- 368 00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:35,699 I'LL JUST SEE YOU MONDAY. 369 00:16:39,491 --> 00:16:41,616 I TOLD YOU. 370 00:16:48,449 --> 00:16:50,574 LOOK AT THE BOUQUET THAT GIRL HAS. 371 00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,074 IT'S SO GIGANTIC SHE CAN BARELY WALK. 372 00:16:53,074 --> 00:16:56,907 YEAH. FOOL PROBABLY SPENT, LIKE, 50 BUCKS ON THAT. 373 00:16:56,907 --> 00:16:59,782 I DON'T NECESSARILY THINK HE'S A FOOL. 374 00:16:59,782 --> 00:17:01,616 DUMB CORPORATE HOLIDAY. 375 00:17:01,616 --> 00:17:02,616 FLOWER FOR THE PRETTY LADY? 376 00:17:02,616 --> 00:17:04,907 NO, THANK YOU. 377 00:17:04,907 --> 00:17:07,074 GOD, KYLE. 378 00:17:07,074 --> 00:17:08,407 WHAT'S WRONG? 379 00:17:08,407 --> 00:17:10,241 WHAT'S WRONG? 380 00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:12,407 IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY. 381 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:13,199 EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK, 382 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,199 PEOPLE ARE BEING SHOWERED WITH GIFTS 383 00:17:15,199 --> 00:17:17,741 AND HAVING THE BEST, MOST ROMANTIC NIGHT OF THEIR LIVES, 384 00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:19,824 AND YOU MAKE ME BUY MY OWN TICKET TO A MOVIE 385 00:17:19,824 --> 00:17:22,324 WHERE PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE ARE LITERALLY VOMITING. 386 00:17:23,866 --> 00:17:26,574 YOU SAID YOU HATED VALENTINE'S DAY. 387 00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:29,241 I KNOW. I DO. 388 00:17:29,241 --> 00:17:33,407 THEN STUPID BRIDGET GOT ME ALL EXCITED ABOUT IT. 389 00:17:33,407 --> 00:17:35,491 NEVER MIND. JUST TAKE ME HOME. 390 00:17:35,491 --> 00:17:37,491 WHAT? NO, NO. 391 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:41,532 LOOK, OKAY, I WASN'T GONNA GIVE YOU THIS UNTIL AFTER MIDNIGHT, 392 00:17:41,532 --> 00:17:44,574 BECAUSE THEN IT WOULDN'T BE VALENTINE'S DAY ANYMORE, 393 00:17:44,574 --> 00:17:48,282 BUT YOUR OWN SPECIAL DAY. 394 00:17:48,282 --> 00:17:51,157 WELL, YOU LOOK SO SAD, SO... 395 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:52,491 HERE. 396 00:17:52,491 --> 00:17:54,532 WHAT IS IT? 397 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:55,782 OPEN IT. 398 00:18:07,157 --> 00:18:09,157 OH, MY GOD. 399 00:18:11,032 --> 00:18:13,366 THESE ARE ALL OF OUR E-MAILS. 400 00:18:14,324 --> 00:18:17,366 YOU MADE OUR E-MAILS INTO A BOOK? 401 00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:19,324 YEAH. 402 00:18:19,324 --> 00:18:23,491 THIS IS...SO INCREDIBLY ROMANTIC. 403 00:18:25,032 --> 00:18:27,866 AND I AM SUCH A GOOD WRITER. 404 00:18:29,907 --> 00:18:31,282 MOM, IT WAS SO CLOSE. 405 00:18:31,282 --> 00:18:33,699 I MEAN, MY REPUTATION COULD HAVE BEEN RUINED. 406 00:18:33,699 --> 00:18:36,532 WHAT WAS I THINKING, GOING OUT WITH JEREMY ON VALENTINE'S DAY? 407 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:39,282 MAYBE YOU JUST ASSUMED -- WHEN HE SAID HE HAD TO MEET HIS GIRLFRIEND, 408 00:18:39,282 --> 00:18:40,616 I THINK THEY BELIEVED HIM. 409 00:18:40,616 --> 00:18:43,616 THAT WAS REALLY NICE OF HIM TO MAKE THAT UP FOR YOU. 410 00:18:43,616 --> 00:18:44,991 YEAH, I THINK HE MADE IT UP. 411 00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,866 I MEAN, THE GUY CAN'T ACTUALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT? 412 00:18:47,866 --> 00:18:49,116 I MEAN, CAN HE? 413 00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:50,282 HMM. 414 00:18:50,282 --> 00:18:52,324 A SMART, CUTE, THOUGHTFUL GUY 415 00:18:52,324 --> 00:18:55,616 WITH A BRIGHT FUTURE GETTING A DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL? 416 00:18:55,616 --> 00:18:57,407 I DOUBT IT. 417 00:18:57,407 --> 00:18:59,324 I THINK I'M GONNA CALL HIM AND THANK HIM 418 00:18:59,324 --> 00:19:00,532 FOR WHAT HE DID. 419 00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:01,741 YOU'RE GONNA CALL HIM? 420 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,741 WELL, IT WAS NICE. DON'T YOU THINK IT WAS NICE? 421 00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:05,949 HE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH. 422 00:19:05,949 --> 00:19:07,741 SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU LIKE HIM. 423 00:19:07,741 --> 00:19:09,449 LIKE, LIKE HIM, LIKE HIM? 424 00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:12,366 NO, NO WAY. 425 00:19:12,366 --> 00:19:13,324 NO. 426 00:19:13,324 --> 00:19:15,241 WHATEVER YOU SAY. 427 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,741 NO, NO WAY! 428 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:20,782 WELL, HAVE YOU CALLED DYLAN YET? 429 00:19:20,782 --> 00:19:24,241 WHY WOULD I CALL HIM? HE RUINED MY VALENTINE'S DAY. 430 00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:27,282 WELL, HONEY, HE'S LAID UP IN THE HOSPITAL WITH APPENDICITIS. 431 00:19:27,282 --> 00:19:29,824 HE AIN'T DOING SO GOOD RIGHT NOW. 432 00:19:29,824 --> 00:19:32,324 WELL. 433 00:19:32,324 --> 00:19:33,532 WHAT? 434 00:19:33,532 --> 00:19:35,866 HE AIN'T DOING SO WELL. 435 00:19:39,532 --> 00:19:41,157 HUH. 436 00:19:41,157 --> 00:19:43,032 GOOD NIGHT, MOM. GOOD NIGHT, HONEY. 437 00:19:44,324 --> 00:19:46,449 THAT WAS VERY NICE -- 438 00:19:46,449 --> 00:19:48,324 IT WAS REAL NICE WHAT YOU DID TONIGHT. 439 00:19:48,324 --> 00:19:50,366 IT WAS REAL NICE WHAT YOU DID. 440 00:19:50,366 --> 00:19:52,282 REALLY NICE? 441 00:19:52,282 --> 00:19:55,282 SUPERNICE -- THAT WAS SUPERNICE WHAT YOU DID. 442 00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:06,449 HELLO? 443 00:20:06,449 --> 00:20:08,157 HELLO? 444 00:20:09,699 --> 00:20:11,449 HELLO-O-O? 445 00:20:19,157 --> 00:20:20,657 GRANDPA, DON'T ANSWER THAT. 446 00:20:20,657 --> 00:20:21,907 OKAY. 447 00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:25,532 HELLO? 448 00:20:25,532 --> 00:20:27,199 HEY, IT'S C.J. 449 00:20:27,199 --> 00:20:29,866 ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID? 450 00:20:29,866 --> 00:20:32,866 YOU SENT ME ALL THE WAY TO CANADA FOR ASPIRIN? 451 00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:44,449 C.J., THE PAIN IN MY HIP IS STILL HERE, 452 00:20:44,449 --> 00:20:47,824 BUT NOW THE PAIN IN MY ASS IS IN CANADA. 31324

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