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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,358 --> 00:00:06,150 Psych? You're taking a psych class? 2 00:00:06,150 --> 00:00:08,275 Excuse me. I'm taking it as an elective. 3 00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:10,983 I thought your electives usually involved clay. 4 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:14,983 Girls. Broccoli or zucchini? 5 00:00:14,983 --> 00:00:17,983 - For dinner? - No, she's making a hat. 6 00:00:21,608 --> 00:00:23,983 - Classic. - What's that supposed to mean? 7 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,983 It's called "projection." 8 00:00:25,983 --> 00:00:29,442 See, Mom, today at school Kerry took a header down the main stairwell, 9 00:00:29,442 --> 00:00:33,025 spilling the contents of her backpack, causing her embarrassment. 10 00:00:33,025 --> 00:00:34,942 Oh, no. Honey, are you OK? 11 00:00:34,942 --> 00:00:36,275 Yeah, I'm fine. 12 00:00:36,275 --> 00:00:39,608 What could have been so embarrassing in your backpack? 13 00:00:39,608 --> 00:00:43,192 Um, I think if you check her calendar you'll figure it out. 14 00:00:44,858 --> 00:00:46,942 Oh. 15 00:00:46,942 --> 00:00:51,233 So, after all the seniors finished a game of feminine product hacky sack, 16 00:00:51,233 --> 00:00:54,275 followed by jump, jump, 17 00:00:54,275 --> 00:00:56,817 Kerry gathered her belongings and walked away. 18 00:00:56,817 --> 00:01:01,150 Instead of directing that anger where it belongs, she's projecting it on me. 19 00:01:01,150 --> 00:01:03,108 Hence, "classic projection." 20 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:06,983 Is that right, Kerry? 21 00:01:08,483 --> 00:01:10,983 Bridget took ten dollars out of your purse. 22 00:01:32,942 --> 00:01:35,400 Mom, guess what happened at the basketball game! 23 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,233 - You won, you won! - No, we lost. Not even close. 24 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:41,732 - But you had a great game. - No, I sucked. 25 00:01:41,732 --> 00:01:44,025 The ball hit me in the back. I got welts. 26 00:01:45,317 --> 00:01:47,275 Paul? 27 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:50,358 Rory means we have some big news. You're not gonna believe this. 28 00:01:50,358 --> 00:01:52,483 Carter Tibbits, racecar driver was there. 29 00:01:52,483 --> 00:01:53,900 He wants Dad to write a book. 30 00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,692 - Rory. - Paul. 31 00:01:55,692 --> 00:01:57,706 I wanted to tell. 32 00:01:57,706 --> 00:02:00,567 Sorry. You want to come in again, start over? 33 00:02:00,567 --> 00:02:01,942 No, forget it. 34 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,150 A book? How exciting is that? 35 00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:09,400 The only thing better than watching a car drive in a circle 36 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,358 is reading about it! 37 00:02:12,358 --> 00:02:15,817 - Classic. - What's classic? 38 00:02:15,817 --> 00:02:19,025 Sarcastic remark to any new idea. 39 00:02:19,025 --> 00:02:22,673 - Angry middle child. - Oh, no, Bridget, you're way off. 40 00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:26,150 The classic middle child is invisible and Kerry's anything but... Ooh! 41 00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:28,567 - Ow! - I'm sorry. I didn't see you. 42 00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:29,983 - Hey. - Honey. 43 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:32,567 It's OK. She just needs anger management. 44 00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:36,192 - Shut up! - You shut up! I'm doing you a favor. 45 00:02:36,192 --> 00:02:38,775 Mary-Kate, Ashley, knock it off! 46 00:02:40,483 --> 00:02:42,233 So, Paul, how'd this come about? 47 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:44,983 Carter Tibbits' nephew plays on the same team as Rory 48 00:02:44,983 --> 00:02:48,525 and I struck up a conversation with him. I did a profile on him 49 00:02:48,525 --> 00:02:51,817 at the Brooklyn Speedway a number of years ago. Remember? 50 00:02:51,817 --> 00:02:55,567 No? It was quite a feather in my cap... Never mind. he remembered me. 51 00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:59,150 Yeah. He said Dad was one of the best sports writers he'd ever met. 52 00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:02,442 Ever. I've gotta go call all my friends. 53 00:03:02,442 --> 00:03:05,317 - This is just great, Paul. - It's not a done deal. 54 00:03:05,317 --> 00:03:09,358 And I'm out of sports. Gave it up to be with you and the kids. 55 00:03:09,358 --> 00:03:12,442 - No regrets. - Except during March Madness. 56 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,567 Yeah. And, you know, now. 57 00:03:16,733 --> 00:03:20,108 Are you insane? You have always dreamed of writing a book. 58 00:03:20,108 --> 00:03:22,275 So, I should throw my hat into the ring? 59 00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:23,692 - Absolutely. - Good. I did. 60 00:03:23,692 --> 00:03:26,567 I wanted to run it by you 'cause we're husband and wife. 61 00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:28,608 - Ah. Gee, thanks. - Hey, we're married. 62 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:33,233 Anyway, Carter, he invited the whole family to dinner 63 00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:35,525 this Friday night at his mansion. 64 00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:38,567 - The whole family? - Yeah. He's big on family. 65 00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:43,483 He loves kids. So, we all need to make a really good impression. 66 00:03:43,483 --> 00:03:46,192 - Let go of me! - I'm re-birthing you. 67 00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,025 - It's a wedgie! - Yeah, I know. 68 00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:52,858 Can you rent kids? 69 00:03:55,942 --> 00:03:58,692 - Wow. - Thank you so much. 70 00:04:01,317 --> 00:04:03,733 - First mansion? - How did you know? 71 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:05,525 I'm psychic. 72 00:04:07,692 --> 00:04:09,567 - What room is this? - The foyer. 73 00:04:09,567 --> 00:04:12,733 This is where guests wait before they enter the formal part. 74 00:04:12,733 --> 00:04:14,983 - How come we don't have one? - We do. 75 00:04:14,983 --> 00:04:17,025 We just call it the driveway. 76 00:04:17,025 --> 00:04:19,567 Oh, my God. You're Cody Grant. 77 00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:22,567 Carter's crew chief for years. You're a legend. 78 00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:24,692 I was until my heart attack. 79 00:04:24,692 --> 00:04:28,567 Now I just supervise dusting. 80 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:32,358 I can still change a tire in under 30 seconds. You want to see? 81 00:04:32,358 --> 00:04:34,567 Are you kidding? It would be my honor, sir. 82 00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:37,567 Paul, maybe we should wait till after dinner. 83 00:04:37,567 --> 00:04:41,567 Well, suit yourself. I'll tell His Majesty you're here. 84 00:04:43,692 --> 00:04:46,650 This place is something. 85 00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:48,775 You know, I think I went to college here. 86 00:04:50,442 --> 00:04:52,567 - It's a castle. - Hey, everybody. 87 00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:55,567 Twenty bucks to whoever steals the best thing. 88 00:04:57,858 --> 00:04:59,567 We don't say stuff like that. 89 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:02,567 Did you see the size of the pickup parked out front? 90 00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:06,817 Yeah, it's nice to see the new 2003 SUV "Compensations" are out. 91 00:05:06,817 --> 00:05:09,608 - The what? - They say, "Big truck, little..." 92 00:05:09,608 --> 00:05:12,608 - Stop that. - Bridget! 93 00:05:12,608 --> 00:05:14,858 That's what it says in your textbook? 94 00:05:14,858 --> 00:05:17,608 Um... yeah. 95 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:21,400 Hey, listen, I really want to impress this guy. All right? 96 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,858 So at least try to pretend that you're human beings 97 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:28,567 and you're not animals, all right? Now, behave yourselves, damn it, 98 00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:30,567 - or I swear to God I will... - Paul? 99 00:05:30,567 --> 00:05:32,233 Oh, Carter! Look, kids. 100 00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:34,025 It's Carter. These are the kids. 101 00:05:34,025 --> 00:05:35,942 This hot dog's gonna write my book. 102 00:05:35,942 --> 00:05:38,192 Maybe. Boo-yah. 103 00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:41,608 I'd like you to meet Cate, my wife and daughters Bridget and Kerry. 104 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:44,442 - You know Rory. - What a good-looking family. 105 00:05:44,442 --> 00:05:46,483 And what lovely young ladies. 106 00:05:47,775 --> 00:05:50,192 Say "thank you" and be ladylike. 107 00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:51,567 - Thank you. - Thank you. 108 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:52,858 - You're hot. - Yeah. 109 00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:57,817 It's easy to see where your daughters get their beauty. 110 00:05:57,817 --> 00:06:01,275 Oh, thank you. Please excuse my daughters. 111 00:06:01,275 --> 00:06:02,983 I don't really know what's... 112 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:07,317 I really like cars. 113 00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:09,483 Why don't we adjourn to the dining room? 114 00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:11,233 OK. 115 00:06:11,233 --> 00:06:12,567 Girls? 116 00:06:12,567 --> 00:06:14,442 - Yeah, right. - Put your arm down. 117 00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,733 Take them. Come here. Take the arm! 118 00:06:19,858 --> 00:06:22,567 Why don't we take our coffee in the living room? 119 00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:24,692 It was a wonderful dinner, Carter. 120 00:06:24,692 --> 00:06:26,900 Hey, did anyone else get two forks? 121 00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:29,733 No, no, Rory. The small fork is for the salad. 122 00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:32,108 The big fork is for the steak. You know that. 123 00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:35,775 Huh. I thought you got two in case you dropped one. 124 00:06:35,775 --> 00:06:39,275 - I'm just kidding. Boo-yah. - He was kidding. 125 00:06:39,275 --> 00:06:43,025 I'm all about humor, Paul. I want that to show up in the book. 126 00:06:43,025 --> 00:06:45,317 Well, you're obviously a funny guy. 127 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:49,567 I saw that stuffed deer with the wacky sunglasses on my way in here. 128 00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:51,567 Yeah, that was all me. 129 00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:56,317 And I would also like to write about your foundation for at-risk kids. 130 00:06:56,317 --> 00:06:58,150 I do love those kids. 131 00:06:58,150 --> 00:07:00,817 I want to take them off the dangerous streets 132 00:07:00,817 --> 00:07:04,692 and put them in high-performance racecars. 133 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:08,275 I've got them building cars instead of stealing them. 134 00:07:08,275 --> 00:07:11,858 I feel the same way. Kids need a strong parental figure. 135 00:07:11,858 --> 00:07:14,817 I think his eyes are almost turquoise, like mine. 136 00:07:14,817 --> 00:07:17,192 - After you put them in. - You little...! 137 00:07:17,192 --> 00:07:21,067 - Girls, please. - May I use one of your restrooms? 138 00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:24,233 Absolutely. Just down the hallway, past the bowling alley, 139 00:07:24,233 --> 00:07:27,192 - second door on the right. - Bowling alley? 140 00:07:27,192 --> 00:07:28,317 Wow. Thank you, sir. 141 00:07:29,858 --> 00:07:33,483 "Mister", "Sir." That's quite a polite boy you got there, Paul. 142 00:07:33,483 --> 00:07:36,567 - Did you girls enjoy your steaks? - I don't eat red meat. 143 00:07:36,567 --> 00:07:38,608 Of course you do, honey. 144 00:07:38,608 --> 00:07:42,233 - With the big fork. - That's it, Dad. 145 00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:46,025 Minimize what's important to Kerry. That's why she has low self-esteem. 146 00:07:46,025 --> 00:07:49,442 - I wish I had that big fork right now. - You know, Kerry, 147 00:07:49,442 --> 00:07:52,650 maybe your heart wouldn't feel like songbirds being suffocated 148 00:07:52,650 --> 00:07:56,275 - if you let go of that anger! - You read my poetry? That was private. 149 00:07:56,275 --> 00:08:00,108 You know, Carter, Kerry was a candy striper at a hospital last summer. 150 00:08:00,108 --> 00:08:02,525 - I hate you. - Had her own little book cart. 151 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:06,983 Now, where were we? We were talking about... Rory, the nice polite boy. 152 00:08:12,233 --> 00:08:14,192 Yes! 153 00:08:14,192 --> 00:08:17,733 - Oh, dear God, I'm sorry, Carter. - No, no, it's OK. 154 00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:20,275 It's family. It's music to my ears. 155 00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:23,317 Uh, so, where's your family tonight, Carter? 156 00:08:23,317 --> 00:08:25,900 Wife number one is in Aspen with my girls, 157 00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:28,858 wife number two went back to Italy with my boys, 158 00:08:28,858 --> 00:08:30,983 and wife number four, my current wife, 159 00:08:30,983 --> 00:08:34,192 she's vacationing with her mother on Martha's Vineyard. 160 00:08:34,192 --> 00:08:38,275 - What about wife number three? - We don't ever talk about number three. 161 00:08:39,775 --> 00:08:42,567 But I love wife number four. 162 00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,650 Aren't you young to have all those wives? 163 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:47,233 It sounds to me that you had mother issues. 164 00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:50,150 - Bridget! - No, no. 165 00:08:52,525 --> 00:08:55,025 She might be onto something. 166 00:08:55,025 --> 00:09:00,483 You know, when you grow up the eighth of nine children, 167 00:09:00,483 --> 00:09:03,567 sometimes you can get lost in the shuffle. 168 00:09:04,608 --> 00:09:06,567 Oh, Mama. 169 00:09:07,608 --> 00:09:09,442 Why didn't you love me? 170 00:09:16,108 --> 00:09:17,192 Boo-yah! 171 00:09:17,192 --> 00:09:19,900 I told you I was funny. 172 00:09:20,983 --> 00:09:22,567 - Put that in the book. - OK. 173 00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:26,567 No, really, the truth is, when I was younger I ran with a lot of women. 174 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,525 Most of them, I never even learned their names. 175 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:34,775 But that changed with wife number four. She totally turned my life around. 176 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,817 Paul, I'm gonna call you next week with my final answer, 177 00:09:37,817 --> 00:09:39,858 but I got a good feeling about this. 178 00:09:39,858 --> 00:09:42,567 I got a good, good feeling about this. 179 00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:43,817 Boo-yah! 180 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,775 Boo-yah's my word, Paul. 181 00:09:45,775 --> 00:09:47,567 Sorry. 182 00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:49,108 It's his word. 183 00:09:56,525 --> 00:09:59,400 "Boo-yah?" Idiot, idiot! 184 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,567 Oh, Paul, Paul. 185 00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,900 Well, yeah. 186 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:08,567 Aside from that, you made a really good impression. 187 00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:12,483 I did, didn't I? He said he had a good feeling about this. 188 00:10:12,483 --> 00:10:13,900 "A good, good feeling." 189 00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,900 Dad, check it out. 190 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:20,317 The picture of Carter Tibbits and Paul Newman? 191 00:10:20,317 --> 00:10:23,733 That's right. Twenty bucks to whoever steals the best thing, remember? 192 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,650 - Pay up. - What? 193 00:10:32,650 --> 00:10:34,817 You stole this from his house? 194 00:10:34,817 --> 00:10:37,192 - It was your idea. - No, it was... 195 00:10:37,192 --> 00:10:40,067 It was a joke, Rory. 196 00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,983 You know, you just cost me the book. 197 00:10:41,983 --> 00:10:44,067 I think "boo-yah" sealed that deal. 198 00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:45,858 You know... Hey, hey! 199 00:10:45,858 --> 00:10:48,733 Now, look, Paul, Paul, you are the adult here. 200 00:10:48,733 --> 00:10:50,817 Why don't you call Carter and explain? 201 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,650 That's a great idea, Cate. 202 00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:55,650 "Carter, here's the picture my son stole from your house. 203 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,650 When do we start the book?" 204 00:11:00,150 --> 00:11:02,525 I know Carter's probably busy now, 205 00:11:02,525 --> 00:11:04,900 I thought I'd drop off some writing samples. 206 00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:08,108 - OK, I'll tell him. - And I'll see myself to the door. 207 00:11:08,108 --> 00:11:10,442 Yeah, like I give a damn. 208 00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:31,983 You're never gonna believe this. I just took a quiz on self-esteem. 209 00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:33,983 And I'm off the charts! 210 00:12:33,983 --> 00:12:36,858 Mom, I want my own house. 211 00:12:36,858 --> 00:12:38,650 Hello, everybody. 212 00:12:38,650 --> 00:12:41,025 Carter Tibbits called. He's on his way over. 213 00:12:41,025 --> 00:12:44,025 Oh, my God, that was fast. Wait. 214 00:12:44,025 --> 00:12:46,025 He's coming here to the house? 215 00:12:46,025 --> 00:12:48,942 Oh, this could be it, Cate. How did he sound? 216 00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:51,650 Like he was masking a childhood of pain. 217 00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:54,900 For the love of... Come on, tidy up. Get this place together. 218 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,483 Cate, why don't you run a brush through that? 219 00:12:57,483 --> 00:12:59,150 - Paul! - You don't have to. 220 00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:00,858 I mean, it looks fine. 221 00:13:00,858 --> 00:13:03,275 But would it kill you to just top that part? 222 00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:05,900 I'm sorry. I'm a little... I'm a little nervous. 223 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:08,817 Why? He said he was coming over. That's a good thing. 224 00:13:08,817 --> 00:13:10,442 Yeah. 225 00:13:10,442 --> 00:13:13,233 He's here. He's here. OK. Everybody, just act normal like me. 226 00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:15,983 Well, I don't know if I can sweat at will. 227 00:13:17,942 --> 00:13:21,442 - You're not Carter. - No, Carter's the white guy. 228 00:13:24,483 --> 00:13:27,650 Mr. Tibbits will be passing on your services. 229 00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:30,567 Oh, Paul, I'm so sorry. 230 00:13:32,192 --> 00:13:34,858 So, Dad, you're not getting the book? 231 00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:37,650 Does it sound like he's getting the book? 232 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,358 Did Carter say why? 233 00:13:39,358 --> 00:13:41,358 You might want to take a look at this. 234 00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:45,900 We have evidence of a crime at the Tibbits estate. 235 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,025 A crime! 236 00:13:48,025 --> 00:13:50,817 - I have homework. - It can wait. 237 00:13:50,817 --> 00:13:55,817 Hennessy, do you think a man who has a four million dollar estate 238 00:13:55,817 --> 00:13:59,733 - doesn't have a security camera? - A security camera! 239 00:14:27,525 --> 00:14:29,942 That's it? That's all that's on the tape? 240 00:14:29,942 --> 00:14:33,400 - Yep. - Oh, Dad. 241 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:37,150 - You're supposed to be an example. - Rory! Come here. 242 00:14:38,692 --> 00:14:43,483 Sir, Hennessy's back. I warned him you're fully clothed. 243 00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:52,192 Paul, I thought my crew chief made everything clear. 244 00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:56,358 I can't trust a man who sneaks in my bedroom when I'm showering 245 00:14:56,358 --> 00:14:58,400 and plays with my stuff. 246 00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,775 I'm afraid you're dead to me now, Paul. 247 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:06,858 Just like a certain ex-wife whose number I will not mention. 248 00:15:06,858 --> 00:15:09,650 - How you doing, son? - I want to set everything straight. 249 00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:14,358 Then you'll never hear from me again. I know the book deal is dead. 250 00:15:14,358 --> 00:15:18,275 Is it? I mean, no, no, right. That's neither here nor there. 251 00:15:18,275 --> 00:15:21,775 I just want you to know that I wasn't playing with your stuff. 252 00:15:30,150 --> 00:15:32,525 My son took something. I was putting it back. 253 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,650 Well, isn't that something? 254 00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:39,608 Blaming it on your own son. 255 00:15:39,608 --> 00:15:42,650 - Pitiful. - No, no, wait a second. 256 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,650 - If you rewound the tape... - You're not half the man 257 00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:48,650 that wife number three turned out to... 258 00:15:53,733 --> 00:15:56,150 I think you know where the door is. 259 00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,775 Mr. Tibbits, 260 00:16:00,775 --> 00:16:04,983 I stole that picture of you and movie legend Paul Newman. 261 00:16:04,983 --> 00:16:08,567 My dad was just putting it back. I took it for a joke. 262 00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:11,275 There's nothing funny about stealing, son. 263 00:16:11,275 --> 00:16:15,900 I know. It's just... my dad's so funny and I was trying to be funny. 264 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:19,567 - Why did you take it so far? - I wanted to impress you. 265 00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:24,733 Whoa. Whoa. Stealing to impress your father? 266 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:28,317 Rory, I run a program for at-risk youths such as yourself. 267 00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:30,108 He's not at-risk! 268 00:16:30,108 --> 00:16:33,858 If I had a dime for every parent who ever said that! 269 00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:36,650 Rory, what are you talking about? 270 00:16:36,650 --> 00:16:38,650 I was just trying to make you laugh. 271 00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:44,525 Mr. Tibbits, I made a mistake. 272 00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,525 - I'm sorry. - I'm proud of you, son. 273 00:16:46,525 --> 00:16:48,650 I'm always proud of you. 274 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:52,650 That took a good size set of plums to come forward like that, Rory. 275 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,108 - I'm sorry, Dad. - No, I'm sorry. 276 00:17:00,108 --> 00:17:04,858 I'm the one that's at fault here. I shouldn't have made that stupid joke. 277 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:09,900 You know, Rory, you've got something I look for in all the kids I work with. 278 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:13,650 Character. Character and a bad father. 279 00:17:15,192 --> 00:17:17,650 Boo-yah. 280 00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:20,650 - That should be rewarded. - I kind of agree. 281 00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:23,108 - Rory. - No, no, he's right. 282 00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:25,025 You did a brave thing. 283 00:17:25,025 --> 00:17:27,608 Now what can I do for you? 284 00:17:27,608 --> 00:17:29,650 Well, can I ask for anything? 285 00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,650 Doesn't hurt to ask. 286 00:17:33,983 --> 00:17:37,650 - It involves my dad. - I'm listening. 287 00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:42,775 If you could... I mean, if you'd consider... 288 00:17:42,775 --> 00:17:44,858 Go ahead, son, speak from the heart. 289 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,733 Go on, Rory. 290 00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:51,608 You ask for that one thing and if it's within my power, 291 00:17:51,608 --> 00:17:54,650 I'll surely give it to you. 292 00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:58,733 Can I have the tape of my dad sneaking around your bedroom? It's really funny! 293 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,317 You got it. It's right over here. Come on. 294 00:18:10,317 --> 00:18:12,525 Pitiful. 295 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:19,650 - You watching that tape again? - Oh, quiet, Paul. 296 00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:23,317 It's time for the bathrobe scene. 297 00:18:23,317 --> 00:18:26,650 Look, Dad, when you lift the trophy you can see your underpants. 298 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,692 Hah. The way you chew. Sublimating hidden aggression. 299 00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:37,817 - Mom! - Kerry! 300 00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:41,775 Stop psychoanalyzing me! Two can play at this game, you know. 301 00:18:43,650 --> 00:18:47,650 - Ah-ha! Narcissism. - All right, Kerry, that is enough. 302 00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:50,650 Now, apologize to your sister, then clean up this mess, 303 00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:54,067 and both of you can come in the kitchen and help me with the dishes. 304 00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:56,108 Classic. 305 00:18:57,733 --> 00:19:01,067 - What? - Housewife directing anger at children 306 00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:03,858 when what she's really angry about is her lost youth. 307 00:19:05,483 --> 00:19:07,275 Uh-huh. 308 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:10,650 Go for it. 309 00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:19,400 "Narcissism, a.k.a. vanity personality disorder. 310 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,567 People with this disorder are self-centered... 311 00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:24,192 That's not me. 312 00:19:24,192 --> 00:19:27,858 - ...self-obsessed... - So not me. 313 00:19:27,858 --> 00:19:30,692 ...easily injured and personalizes everything." 314 00:19:30,692 --> 00:19:33,608 Stop it, stop it. Why are you being so mean to me? 315 00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:37,942 Don't mess with the middle child. 316 00:19:44,192 --> 00:19:45,733 I know it's hard. 317 00:19:45,733 --> 00:19:48,442 But in order to accept it you need to say it out loud. 318 00:19:48,442 --> 00:19:50,442 That's the first step to recovery. 319 00:19:50,442 --> 00:19:54,775 Now, repeat after me, "It's not my fault." 320 00:19:54,775 --> 00:19:57,525 - Say it. - I can't. 321 00:19:57,525 --> 00:20:01,692 Come on, say it. "It's not my fault." 322 00:20:01,692 --> 00:20:05,442 It's not my fault. 323 00:20:06,608 --> 00:20:12,192 Wife number three was not my fault. 324 00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:15,650 Wait a minute. 325 00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,650 I know whose fault it was. 326 00:20:19,442 --> 00:20:21,442 Mama. 327 00:20:21,442 --> 00:20:22,983 Why didn't you love me? 26212

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