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1
00:00:00,875 --> 00:00:04,500
Listen up, everybody.
OK, just Cate.
2
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,167
I have an announcement.
3
00:00:06,167 --> 00:00:09,834
Wait, wait, Paul, not until
I've had my first cup of coffee
of the day.
4
00:00:09,834 --> 00:00:12,209
I've seen you pour
five cups already.
5
00:00:12,209 --> 00:00:15,167
One cup, I just, you know,
warmed it up a few times.
6
00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:17,334
A few? Try five.
7
00:00:17,334 --> 00:00:19,125
Honey, honey. Tsk tsk.
8
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:21,750
- Mom. Dad.
- Bridget's hogging
the bathroom.
9
00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:25,125
- I was gonna say that!
- And Kerry was gonna
tattle on her.
10
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,125
Do you realize you just tattled
on someone for tattling?
11
00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:30,959
Yeah.
12
00:00:30,959 --> 00:00:34,000
Long as you're here, I've got
an exciting announcement. Cate?
13
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,417
Wait, I just need a warm-up.
14
00:00:37,125 --> 00:00:40,334
OK, your oldest daughter
has been in the bathroom
for an hour.
15
00:00:40,334 --> 00:00:44,834
- An hour?
What is she doing in there?
- We can rule out reading.
16
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,625
- Hello.
- One more smart remark,
17
00:00:49,625 --> 00:00:53,542
- there will be a consequence.
- My life is a consequence.
18
00:00:53,542 --> 00:00:58,209
Honey, that would have a lot
more impact if you didn't
say it every day.
19
00:00:58,209 --> 00:01:02,625
- No, Darin. Bridget's busy.
- Darin?
20
00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:04,334
She can't come
to the phone now.
21
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:06,500
- Why, you ask?
- Rory!
22
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,500
- Because she's in...
- No!
23
00:01:08,500 --> 00:01:10,709
...the bathroom.
24
00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:15,625
- You told him
I was in the bathroom?
- No, I didn't. Oh, wait, I did.
25
00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:18,334
No one can know I use the
bathroom. My life is ruined.
26
00:01:18,334 --> 00:01:21,792
- I have to do damage control.
- No calls, put the phone down.
27
00:01:21,792 --> 00:01:24,542
I've got an important
announcement for the family.
28
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:29,292
Dad, if I don't get on the
phone, people will think
I actually use the bathroom.
29
00:01:29,292 --> 00:01:33,125
Bridget's using the phone
after you told her not to.
30
00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:36,542
It's like a disease
with you, isn't it?
31
00:01:36,542 --> 00:01:38,709
Mom! Dad said I have a disease.
32
00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:40,292
Oh, come on, please.
33
00:01:40,292 --> 00:01:43,125
Would somebody like to listen
to my announcement?
34
00:01:43,125 --> 00:01:46,125
Switched at birth. Please
say I was switched at birth.
35
00:01:46,125 --> 00:01:48,875
Kerry! Cate, would you
help me out over here?
36
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,625
What's the big news?
37
00:01:51,875 --> 00:01:57,709
OK, I just reserved,
for our family vacation
38
00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:59,917
our favorite cabin at the lake!
39
00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,084
For two weeks!
40
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,667
Non-refundable deposit!
41
00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:27,834
The cabin we all love!
42
00:02:30,292 --> 00:02:32,542
Paul, put your arms down.
43
00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:37,375
Why are we going to the cabin
at the lake? It's so stupid.
I hate the lake.
44
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:41,542
Well, I can see everyone is as
excited about the cabin as I am.
45
00:02:41,542 --> 00:02:43,709
Look, in the spirit
of open-mindedness,
46
00:02:43,709 --> 00:02:48,584
let's all take a seat and listen
to everyone else's ideas.
47
00:02:48,584 --> 00:02:50,500
OK.
48
00:02:52,459 --> 00:02:54,959
Cabin by the lake, Paul.
We haven't forgotten.
49
00:02:54,959 --> 00:02:56,750
Write it down.
50
00:02:59,542 --> 00:03:02,709
What about space camp?
They have zero gravity chambers
51
00:03:02,709 --> 00:03:06,084
and you get to sleep in
real astronaut bunk beds.
52
00:03:06,084 --> 00:03:08,459
Could he be any geekier?
53
00:03:08,459 --> 00:03:12,334
You know, I have a place that's
fun, educational, and very
patriotic.
54
00:03:12,334 --> 00:03:15,834
- Space camp?
- Astro-not.
55
00:03:15,834 --> 00:03:18,959
Where I wanted to go
was Mall of America.
56
00:03:18,959 --> 00:03:21,917
It has over 550 stores,
an amusement park and 50
restaurants.
57
00:03:21,917 --> 00:03:23,417
It's a no-brainer.
58
00:03:23,417 --> 00:03:25,897
You just walk right into these,
don't you, Bridget?
59
00:03:25,897 --> 00:03:29,022
Kerry, you're really getting
to me with your sarcasm.
60
00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:34,105
You know, I think this family
should go visit Grandma and
Grandpa in Sarasota.
61
00:03:34,105 --> 00:03:37,938
We could hang out in the sun,
it'll be relaxing, we'll go
swimming
62
00:03:37,938 --> 00:03:39,647
and I don't have to cook.
63
00:03:39,647 --> 00:03:41,855
Cate, your parents
don't like me.
64
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:45,730
You know, I know that, honey,
and I weighed that...
65
00:03:47,688 --> 00:03:50,897
...but I still have to go
with "don't have to cook."
66
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,688
OK, Kerry, your turn. Where
do you wanna go on the vacation?
67
00:03:54,688 --> 00:03:56,105
Oh, whatever.
68
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:59,730
I've always wanted to go there.
You talk about it all the time.
69
00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:03,647
OK, a family vacation should be
a vacation away from your
family.
70
00:04:03,647 --> 00:04:08,980
Not move your family
to a smaller place
with fewer bathrooms.
71
00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:12,980
What's going on? Sounds like
you don't wanna go anywhere
with your family.
72
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:16,897
So now who's being sarcastic?
73
00:04:16,897 --> 00:04:20,730
Why are we having this
discussion? You know
we're gonna end up at the cabin.
74
00:04:20,730 --> 00:04:23,730
Well, it is on
your mother's list.
75
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:27,605
Oh, come on, you know what,
I am really tired of all of you
dumping on my ideas.
76
00:04:27,605 --> 00:04:30,980
You wanna decide, fine,
we'll have a contest.
77
00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,980
Bridget, you have to give up
talking on the phone.
78
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:35,730
You have to give up tattling.
79
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:38,938
And you, Princess of Darkness,
80
00:04:38,938 --> 00:04:41,897
you have to give up being
cynical and sarcastic
81
00:04:41,897 --> 00:04:45,230
and the last person standing
gets to pick the vacation.
82
00:04:45,230 --> 00:04:47,938
Or picks no vacation at all?
83
00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:50,522
- OK, if you win.
- I'm so in.
84
00:04:50,522 --> 00:04:54,022
Paul, what about you?
Fair's fair, you have
to give up something, too.
85
00:04:54,022 --> 00:04:59,938
Fine, I don't mind giving up
something if you can find
a flaw in my character,
86
00:04:59,938 --> 00:05:02,438
some little, tiny bad habit.
87
00:05:02,438 --> 00:05:04,980
- The way you come
into our room.
- The way you dress.
88
00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:08,147
Kids, kids, kids, kids!
One at a time.
89
00:05:09,813 --> 00:05:12,022
How about giving up
the remote to the TV?
90
00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:15,313
Oh, you're kidding, right?
At least make it challenging.
91
00:05:15,313 --> 00:05:17,438
Oh yeah,
you wouldn't last a day.
92
00:05:17,438 --> 00:05:20,980
OK, fine.
What about you, happy?
93
00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,105
What can you give up?
94
00:05:25,105 --> 00:05:29,188
Me? Well, I'm practically
perfect in every way.
95
00:05:29,188 --> 00:05:31,438
But I'm sure
we'll find something.
96
00:05:31,438 --> 00:05:33,438
What about your coffee
addiction?
97
00:05:34,813 --> 00:05:38,688
Addiction? No, I'm just
a social coffee drinker.
98
00:05:40,980 --> 00:05:42,813
I can stop anytime.
99
00:05:42,813 --> 00:05:46,813
- OK, well now would be good.
- Well how 'bout
just one more sip.
100
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,688
No, I think that's good.
101
00:05:48,688 --> 00:05:52,688
I think it's better. No, it's
better this way, cold turkey.
102
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:01,938
Well, how we holding up
without our morning coffee?
103
00:06:01,938 --> 00:06:05,813
- Fine. Just fine.
- We're out of orange juice.
104
00:06:05,813 --> 00:06:07,980
So go buy some!
105
00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:13,855
It's OK, I'll have some
cran-apple juice. Would
you make me some, hon?
106
00:06:15,647 --> 00:06:20,813
You have no respect for me
or the work I do around here
or the clothes you wear.
107
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:26,480
- Paul, that shirt is hideous!
- Thanks. You think it'll bug
Kerry?
108
00:06:28,897 --> 00:06:33,272
You know, I... I really don't
care. I have a splitting
headache.
109
00:06:33,272 --> 00:06:37,980
Honey, sweetie, you know what,
you're just going through
withdrawal.
110
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,188
Know what you need?
Know what would help...
111
00:06:40,188 --> 00:06:43,730
...is a nice, steaming
hot cup of coffee.
112
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,980
Daddy, look,
there's a fight on ESPN.
113
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:50,730
Oh, Bridget, thank you so much.
114
00:06:50,730 --> 00:06:53,772
And, now there's not.
115
00:06:55,105 --> 00:06:58,730
You know, behind those beautiful
green eyes, there's pure evil.
116
00:06:58,730 --> 00:07:01,813
I'm gonna get one blue contact.
It'll look so awesome.
117
00:07:01,813 --> 00:07:03,855
Far out.
118
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:08,855
Hello. Oh, hi Darin.
119
00:07:08,855 --> 00:07:11,980
No, sorry, Bridget can't
come to the phone now.
120
00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:14,022
Want me to say
you're not in the bathroom?
121
00:07:14,022 --> 00:07:15,980
Daddy, that is so mean.
122
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:20,855
No, Bridget, no, it's
a telemarketer. I'll call
you back.
123
00:07:22,605 --> 00:07:24,438
Paul,
did you see your daughter?
124
00:07:24,438 --> 00:07:26,980
I know. I'm winning. I mean...
125
00:07:29,522 --> 00:07:34,980
Hey, Care Bear, do you like
my shirt? Pretty foxy, huh?
126
00:07:41,813 --> 00:07:46,022
Mom, I'm gonna write something
down and I'd like you to read it
to Dad, OK?
127
00:07:46,022 --> 00:07:48,813
If it's sarcastic,
you're still out.
128
00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:51,980
Never mind.
129
00:07:54,605 --> 00:07:56,063
Ow. Ow.
130
00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:03,938
Rory! Oh, my, it is freezing out
there. Who locked you out in
your underwear?
131
00:08:03,938 --> 00:08:05,438
It was...
132
00:08:06,855 --> 00:08:08,938
- ...nobody.
- Oh, honey.
133
00:08:14,063 --> 00:08:16,855
No. No, no, no, no. Listen.
134
00:08:16,855 --> 00:08:20,438
And the tragic thing was,
I was just shaving my legs.
135
00:08:20,438 --> 00:08:23,022
They do not get hairy.
I was just shaving them.
136
00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:31,147
- What are you doing?
- Just putting my clothes
in the dryer.
137
00:08:31,147 --> 00:08:35,813
Oh, excellent. You know,
then, the next step would be
to turn it on.
138
00:08:37,772 --> 00:08:39,980
I must have left it
in my pocket.
139
00:08:44,522 --> 00:08:47,063
Hello. Hi, Kyle.
140
00:08:48,438 --> 00:08:50,688
Yeah, she'll call you back.
141
00:08:50,688 --> 00:08:52,938
Gee, I thought
you had more will power.
142
00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:55,980
What's that smell?
143
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:00,272
Fabric softener?
144
00:09:01,688 --> 00:09:05,647
Oh really? What's it called?
145
00:09:05,647 --> 00:09:09,938
Moca Java Dryer Sheets?
146
00:09:09,938 --> 00:09:12,980
- Ha! You're cheating!
- Oh, so what.
147
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:14,980
You are so busted.
148
00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:18,938
Yeah, well so are you.
And what a drag.
149
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:23,147
You know, Mall of America
was starting to sound better
than my parents' condo.
150
00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:26,730
Mom, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
151
00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:29,105
That we form an alliance?
152
00:09:29,105 --> 00:09:34,813
Or, that we team up
and not bust each other.
153
00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:41,980
Yeah, I like your way better.
154
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:45,355
Good. I don't want to know
what happens to hair in zero
gravity.
155
00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:48,772
So how do we knock Dad, Kerry,
and Rory out of the game?
156
00:09:48,772 --> 00:09:50,980
Oh, I don't really care.
157
00:09:58,272 --> 00:10:02,230
I mean, everybody has to go.
158
00:10:02,230 --> 00:10:05,272
I don't!
159
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,230
Oh, come on, it's no big deal.
160
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:10,938
Hey, sometimes I even
write my name in the snow.
161
00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:14,897
- Kyle!
- And yours.
162
00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:16,230
Eww!
163
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:19,272
- Hey, no touching.
- Yes, good. No problem.
164
00:10:19,272 --> 00:10:22,313
- Where's your mother?
- At home.
165
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:28,647
- Her mother.
- You mean my grandma?
166
00:10:34,355 --> 00:10:39,230
No, Bridget's mother.
167
00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:42,188
How should I know?
168
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,022
- She's doing laundry.
- Again?
That's the third time today.
169
00:10:51,397 --> 00:10:53,230
Bridget, guess what?
170
00:10:53,230 --> 00:10:57,230
Somebody hung a "Reserved for
Bridget Hennessy" sign on the
girls' bathroom.
171
00:10:57,230 --> 00:11:01,063
Who would do a mean thing like
that; such a sarcastic thing?
172
00:11:01,063 --> 00:11:05,272
I don't know. But, you know,
maybe you should call Heather,
and find out.
173
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:10,730
- Where are you going with that?
- Laundry room.
174
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:13,230
I mean the cream.
175
00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:16,980
- It takes out red wine stains.
- It what?
176
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:20,980
- Hey, Dad, Dad look, sports.
- Oh God, Bridget.
177
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:25,188
- I'll help, Mom.
- Oh, this is so cool.
178
00:11:25,188 --> 00:11:29,230
- Oh, look, Dad, not sports.
- Oh...
179
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,230
- Well, I better be going.
- I love it when you say that.
180
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:36,688
Oh, wait, wait, Kyle, there's
a Pistons game on the other
channel.
181
00:11:36,688 --> 00:11:38,438
- Cool.
- You wanna watch with me?
182
00:11:38,438 --> 00:11:40,230
- Why?
- I don't know,
183
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:42,730
maybe we could get to
know each other better.
184
00:11:43,355 --> 00:11:44,730
Like bonding.
185
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:49,605
Well, I guess you could say...
Just turn the channel, please.
186
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:52,230
Attaboy. Come on.
187
00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:56,022
Dad, can you show me
how the washing machine works?
188
00:11:56,022 --> 00:11:59,063
- Rory, I'm watching
the game with Kyle.
- We're bonding.
189
00:11:59,063 --> 00:12:00,647
- Quiet Kyle.
- But Dad.
190
00:12:00,647 --> 00:12:03,063
Not now.
191
00:12:03,063 --> 00:12:04,480
You know, Mr. Hennessy,
192
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,022
my Dad never takes the time
to watch a game with me.
193
00:12:07,022 --> 00:12:10,772
- He doesn't? That's so sad.
- So, actually,
it means a lot...
194
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:14,980
It's not a commercial.
Do you see a commercial?
195
00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:18,230
- Now I do.
- No wait, Kyle.
196
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:21,230
- Later, Papa H.
- No, no, don't go, Kyle.
Wait, wait!
197
00:12:21,230 --> 00:12:24,230
We were bonding,
something about your dad.
198
00:12:26,105 --> 00:12:27,105
Kerry?
199
00:12:28,022 --> 00:12:30,897
Um, do you think
you'd mind, uh,
200
00:12:30,897 --> 00:12:33,647
perhaps just for once,
201
00:12:33,647 --> 00:12:37,105
changing the channel for me?
Please?
202
00:12:37,105 --> 00:12:41,855
- Sure.
- Oh, thanks honey.
203
00:12:41,855 --> 00:12:46,688
Oh. Look, Dad, it's television
for women. You wanna watch?
204
00:12:46,688 --> 00:12:49,938
Dad, do you know how you always
say you should face your fears?
205
00:12:49,938 --> 00:12:53,272
- No.
- Well, one should.
206
00:12:54,813 --> 00:12:58,813
I'm scared of the laundry room.
Help me face it.
207
00:12:58,813 --> 00:13:02,063
You know,
you're a pretty weird kid.
208
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:06,105
Sometimes I hear horrible noises
coming from there.
209
00:13:06,105 --> 00:13:09,730
Slurping, beeping,
ghost like whispers.
210
00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:12,647
Oh, what a big man you are,
211
00:13:12,647 --> 00:13:17,272
to admit to your fears even
though it could cause ridicule.
212
00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:22,230
Your sister and mother are down
there. Go ask them to check it
out.
213
00:13:22,230 --> 00:13:24,230
- Hey!
- Oh, sorry, Dad.
214
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:26,397
You better put that
in the wash right away.
215
00:13:32,147 --> 00:13:36,605
- Are you outta of your mind?
- I can't say.
216
00:13:36,605 --> 00:13:41,313
Rory, don't keep things
bottled up, son. It's unhealthy.
217
00:13:41,313 --> 00:13:43,688
It creates inner conflict
that can lead...
218
00:13:43,688 --> 00:13:48,313
Go to the laundry room while
Bridget's on the phone
and Mom's drinking coffee!
219
00:13:48,313 --> 00:13:51,480
Doesn't it feel better to get
that off your chest?
220
00:13:53,522 --> 00:13:56,230
- I blew it, didn't I?
- Oh yeah. You're out.
221
00:13:59,313 --> 00:14:02,938
Tiffany's water bra leaked
during volleyball practice?
I am so...
222
00:14:02,938 --> 00:14:05,063
He's got you.
223
00:14:08,980 --> 00:14:13,813
Daddy, you scared me. Mom, give
me my coffee I gave you to hold
for me,
224
00:14:13,813 --> 00:14:16,105
while I dialed
the phone for you.
225
00:14:17,522 --> 00:14:20,313
Oh, who cares?
I'm just gonna make another pot.
226
00:14:20,313 --> 00:14:22,730
You're both out.
Hit the showers.
227
00:14:27,897 --> 00:14:31,563
- Looks like it's just you
and me, kid.
- And soon, it'll be just me.
228
00:14:31,563 --> 00:14:35,897
What do you say I take you out
for a bite, just you and me?
229
00:14:35,897 --> 00:14:38,563
You're planning something,
aren't you?
230
00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:45,813
Can't a Dad treat his daughter
to a nice, quiet, relaxing
dinner?
231
00:14:45,813 --> 00:14:49,688
Welcome to Maybe Baby's.
I'll be serving you this
evening. I'm Sandy.
232
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,397
Oh, for the love of...
233
00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:54,063
Gosh, I love your costume.
234
00:14:54,063 --> 00:14:58,355
Thanks. You know, if you wait
40 minutes, I change into
Bad Sandy.
235
00:15:02,105 --> 00:15:04,855
- I sing Leader of the Pack.
- We've gotta stay for that.
236
00:15:04,855 --> 00:15:08,022
Um... good Sandy,
237
00:15:08,022 --> 00:15:11,480
what do you
recommend for someone
who's not very hungry?
238
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,813
- We have
a Love Me Slender salad.
- Ooh!
239
00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:17,105
I'll just stick with water.
240
00:15:17,105 --> 00:15:23,022
Let's see, for me, what looks
yum, yum, yummy, yum, yum, yum,
yum, yum.
241
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:26,230
I'll have the grilled cheese
sandwich with Chubby Cheddar.
242
00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:29,355
- Okey-dokey.
- Thank you very much.
243
00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:36,563
Dad, you've clearly
underestimated my tolerance
of bad, fake, '50s diners.
244
00:15:36,563 --> 00:15:39,063
- Fine,
let's just enjoy dinner.
- OK.
245
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,647
- How's school?
- Fine.
246
00:15:41,647 --> 00:15:45,230
It's a great time of life
for you, you know, right now.
247
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:46,772
The jocks, the pep squad...
248
00:15:46,772 --> 00:15:49,855
- Dad, I know what you're doing.
- What? High school's fun.
249
00:15:49,855 --> 00:15:55,813
The marching bands, the mascots,
prom decorating committee.
250
00:15:55,813 --> 00:16:00,772
Yes, Dad. All the happy people
are having a wonderful time.
251
00:16:00,772 --> 00:16:03,980
- You're not one
of the happy people?
- That's not what I meant.
252
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:06,855
- What did you mean?
- Whoa! Way too personal.
253
00:16:06,855 --> 00:16:08,855
Let's just stick
to the contest, OK?
254
00:16:10,563 --> 00:16:14,647
Yeah, and just to let you know,
I'm back, I'm bad and I'm
nationwide.
255
00:16:14,647 --> 00:16:15,813
I gotta go.
256
00:16:15,813 --> 00:16:17,230
- No, Dad!
- Kerry!
257
00:16:17,230 --> 00:16:20,230
I'm not talking unless
it's about the contest, OK.
258
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,188
- Some things
are more important.
- Hey, Dad, look!
259
00:16:23,188 --> 00:16:26,230
- Doesn't this make you crazy?
- Not now.
260
00:16:26,230 --> 00:16:29,938
Kerry, the reason
I did this contest was because
261
00:16:29,938 --> 00:16:34,230
I wanted Rory to give up
tattling 'cause it's a pain
in the neck.
262
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:37,230
Bridget to give up the phone
because she's always on it.
263
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:42,230
I wanted your mother to give up
coffee because, well, that one
was just mean.
264
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:47,230
And I wanted you to give up
being sarcastic because,
you know,
265
00:16:47,230 --> 00:16:50,188
once in a blue moon,
I'd like to see the genuine you.
266
00:16:50,188 --> 00:16:52,272
You know,
you made up this contest
267
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:56,730
because it was another way
for you to make us do what
you want us to do.
268
00:16:56,730 --> 00:16:59,730
I mean, like going
to the lake every year,
269
00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:04,688
or... or making me talk about
things that I don't want to talk
about.
270
00:17:04,688 --> 00:17:07,938
God, Dad, I mean, that's why you
love the remote control so much,
271
00:17:07,938 --> 00:17:10,230
you know, you love
to control everything.
272
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,772
As long as we're being genuine,
do you want to know why you're
sarcastic?
273
00:17:13,772 --> 00:17:16,063
- Well, I'm sure
you're gonna tell me.
- Paul.
274
00:17:16,063 --> 00:17:19,230
It's a wall you hide behind,
because otherwise, God forbid,
275
00:17:19,230 --> 00:17:21,230
people would see the real you.
276
00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:23,563
The you you're afraid
people won't like.
277
00:17:23,563 --> 00:17:25,397
- Paul.
- Dad.
278
00:17:25,397 --> 00:17:27,272
Who's winning?
279
00:17:28,522 --> 00:17:31,563
- I'm out. The contest is over.
- Kerry, you win.
280
00:17:31,563 --> 00:17:34,480
Big deal. Who cares?
You know what...
281
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,230
Kerry!
282
00:17:36,230 --> 00:17:38,772
What did she just say?
283
00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:44,605
I... I think she said she wants
to go to Mall of America.
284
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,230
Kerry.
285
00:17:47,230 --> 00:17:48,938
Oh, go away.
286
00:17:50,022 --> 00:17:51,397
I'm sorry.
287
00:17:55,397 --> 00:17:57,522
Sorry, monkey.
288
00:17:58,522 --> 00:18:00,855
Monkey.
289
00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:03,230
Oh, forget it. You were right.
290
00:18:03,230 --> 00:18:05,230
No, you know, I...
291
00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:12,063
...I didn't mean to lose it
and upset you downstairs.
292
00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:19,938
You may not believe this,
but I was a pretty easygoing
guy once upon a time.
293
00:18:19,938 --> 00:18:23,647
- What happened?
- Kids brought out
the worst in me.
294
00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:28,813
There's Muttsy. Hey, doggie.
295
00:18:28,813 --> 00:18:32,938
Do you remember what happened
at the department store when
you were five?
296
00:18:32,938 --> 00:18:35,230
- Oh, Dad, not again.
- It's a pivotal moment.
297
00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:38,563
We were getting out of the
elevator, I turned away
for two seconds,
298
00:18:38,563 --> 00:18:41,230
you hopped back in,
the doors closed, you were gone.
299
00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:45,522
- I can still hear
you screaming, "No!"
- That was you.
300
00:18:45,522 --> 00:18:49,230
When I finally found you,
you ran into my arms
and burst into tears.
301
00:18:49,230 --> 00:18:51,063
- Nuh-uh.
- OK, I did.
302
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:56,897
- You bought me Muttsy.
- I would have bought you
the store.
303
00:18:56,897 --> 00:19:00,355
- I asked for a bike.
- You weren't gone
that long, sweetie.
304
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:05,522
It's OK. I love Muttsy.
305
00:19:05,522 --> 00:19:08,897
- Know what Muttsy's
first words were?
- No.
306
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,272
It was on the ride home,
and Muttsy said to me,
307
00:19:12,272 --> 00:19:16,188
"Can we go
to the cabin on the lake?"
308
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:21,230
- 'Cause there were
no elevators.
- No elevators.
309
00:19:21,230 --> 00:19:23,230
Thank God
I bought you that dog.
310
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:26,480
It's the only way I could find
out what's really going on with
you.
311
00:19:27,730 --> 00:19:31,022
Yeah, a talking bike
would've been really stupid.
312
00:19:31,022 --> 00:19:34,897
As long as we're still talking,
313
00:19:34,897 --> 00:19:38,230
when do you think
Muttsy developed...
314
00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:40,313
...well,
developed that attitude?
315
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,980
Muttsy does not
have an attitude, OK.
316
00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:47,730
Kerry you have to admit, you've
got one sarcastic dog there.
317
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:52,563
Bear, you know,
you don't let anyone in.
318
00:19:55,105 --> 00:19:59,938
Maybe some people just don't
want everybody knowing their
business. OK?
319
00:19:59,938 --> 00:20:04,230
We're family. We get into each
other's business, that's what
families do.
320
00:20:05,230 --> 00:20:07,605
So you're not that tough,
321
00:20:07,605 --> 00:20:10,397
so you cry sometimes,
is that so weird?
322
00:20:10,397 --> 00:20:15,605
No. Weird is not wanting anyone
to know you use the bathroom.
323
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:17,563
Great,
we're on the same page here.
324
00:20:19,397 --> 00:20:23,230
So you'll try harder
to be less sarcastic? Maybe?
325
00:20:23,230 --> 00:20:25,230
At least with your family?
326
00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:28,563
Work out a system,
odd-even days?
327
00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:35,063
- Maybe.
- OK.
328
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:40,230
Come on, let's go downstairs.
329
00:20:43,397 --> 00:20:45,230
Come here.
330
00:20:47,605 --> 00:20:50,563
This contest was stupid,
and I think my Dad was cheating
331
00:20:50,563 --> 00:20:53,605
so now my dream trip to Mall
of America is totally ruined.
332
00:20:53,605 --> 00:20:55,605
Oh, yeah and Kerry cried.
333
00:20:55,605 --> 00:20:58,313
Mom, Bridget told her friends
that Kerry cried.
334
00:20:58,313 --> 00:20:59,772
That's shocking.
335
00:20:59,772 --> 00:21:03,063
Mmm. Hello, friend.
336
00:21:03,063 --> 00:21:06,855
Well, we have a winner.
And we have some losers.
337
00:21:06,855 --> 00:21:09,730
OK. Good, Kerry wins,
now we can stay home.
338
00:21:09,730 --> 00:21:12,980
Or maybe not.
I have an announcement to make.
339
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,688
This year we're going
to the cabin at the lake.
340
00:21:15,688 --> 00:21:18,438
The cabin at the lake!
341
00:21:22,022 --> 00:21:23,688
Paul, put your arms down.
28305
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