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1
00:00:02,225 --> 00:00:05,516
- Good morning, loved ones!
- Nice outfit.
2
00:00:05,516 --> 00:00:08,933
Where's your giant,
foam-rubber Wolverine head?
3
00:00:08,933 --> 00:00:11,350
Don't be silly.
You can't get those anymore.
4
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:13,766
Yes, I realize I am dressed up.
5
00:00:13,766 --> 00:00:17,058
But you see, to a Michigan fan,
football is a religion.
6
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:20,933
And the Ohio State game,
well, that's our Easter.
7
00:00:20,933 --> 00:00:23,641
- So that reminds me...
- I like your clothes, Dad.
8
00:00:23,641 --> 00:00:25,933
- Thank you.
- "I like your clothes, Dad."
9
00:00:25,933 --> 00:00:28,933
Guys, please. This is my one
sacred day of the year.
10
00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:31,933
There's a sale
on blue and gold body paint.
11
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:35,808
You could smear it all over
your body and watch the game
in the nude.
12
00:00:35,808 --> 00:00:38,850
- Eww.
- My people call it
blue and maize.
13
00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:41,933
Not really good colors on you.
You're more of a...
14
00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,558
I know, I'm more of a spring.
15
00:00:43,558 --> 00:00:46,433
A spring? Ha! You wish.
He's such a winter.
16
00:00:46,433 --> 00:00:50,100
Back to the plan.
I am commandeering the
television set all day,
17
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,350
starting with the
first pre-game show.
18
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:54,183
- Got it?
- Yeah. Whatever.
19
00:00:54,183 --> 00:00:58,558
Rory, that means
no video games.
20
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:01,891
You kidding? I don't wanna watch
a violent sport like football.
21
00:01:03,058 --> 00:01:05,183
Hey, I killed 'em!
I killed 'em all!
22
00:01:05,183 --> 00:01:06,933
Off! Off!
23
00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:11,225
Bridget, did you
borrow my beige purse?
24
00:01:11,225 --> 00:01:14,391
Yeah, to go with my beige
double-knit jumpsuit.
25
00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:17,850
Wow, very nice.
26
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:21,516
You know, first grad school
seminar. I want to make
a good impression.
27
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:24,725
How? By turning on all the guys?
I don't think so.
28
00:01:24,725 --> 00:01:29,850
You march upstairs, young lady,
and don't come down until you
look frumpy.
29
00:01:29,850 --> 00:01:32,516
Which I realize
is virtually impossible.
30
00:01:32,516 --> 00:01:34,808
Come on, Paul,
I'm nervous enough.
31
00:01:34,808 --> 00:01:37,141
I haven't set foot
in a classroom in 16 years.
32
00:01:37,141 --> 00:01:39,766
- You're gonna do great.
- Wow, 16 years.
33
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,891
That's like my entire life.
34
00:01:43,933 --> 00:01:46,933
I'm aware of that, Bridget.
35
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:49,100
And there's a connection.
36
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:51,725
- Why are you dressed like that?
- It's Easter.
37
00:01:51,725 --> 00:01:54,975
The Ohio State game.
Why didn't you say something?
38
00:01:54,975 --> 00:01:58,266
Because you've been dreaming
about your Master's forever.
39
00:01:58,266 --> 00:02:01,933
And, you know, it's not
like I go to the game
every year or anything.
40
00:02:01,933 --> 00:02:04,433
- Yes, you do.
- Yes, I do, but, honey,
41
00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:06,308
you've been waiting
for this day.
42
00:02:06,308 --> 00:02:08,600
I can raise these kids
with my eyes closed.
43
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,933
You just leave out some food
and crack the window a bit.
44
00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,391
Yet you cannot even
put your dish in the sink?
45
00:02:14,391 --> 00:02:18,141
Handled. Kids, put my dish
in the sink. See, I'm on fire.
46
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:22,266
I'm completely reassured.
47
00:02:22,266 --> 00:02:24,933
I have my cell phone
if there's any problems.
48
00:02:24,933 --> 00:02:28,350
Like there's a fire and your dad
won't get up or a pipe bursts
49
00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:30,641
and your dad won't get up.
Or locusts...
50
00:02:30,641 --> 00:02:33,100
Locusts!
I would get up for locusts.
51
00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:35,891
- I mean it, call me.
- Not gonna happen. Here.
52
00:02:35,891 --> 00:02:39,266
OK, just make sure that Kerry
doesn't mope around all day.
53
00:02:39,266 --> 00:02:42,600
Oh, and get Rory away from that
video and out of the house.
54
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,433
No moping, no video games.
No problem.
55
00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:47,183
Oh, and keep Bridget off the
phone and out of the mall.
56
00:02:47,183 --> 00:02:49,391
I'm a man,
not a miracle worker.
57
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:17,100
I'm bored.
When's the game gonna be over?
58
00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:21,350
Are you serious?
It hasn't started yet.
59
00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:26,808
I don't want you playing
video games all day.
You can't just sit and vegetate.
60
00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:29,183
Yeah, Dad's already doing that.
61
00:03:29,183 --> 00:03:31,350
And parenting.
Now, come on everybody.
62
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:33,391
Quiet down.
I want to watch the game.
63
00:03:33,391 --> 00:03:35,558
Go outside and
get some fresh air.
64
00:03:35,558 --> 00:03:37,391
OK, I'll go ride my skateboard.
65
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:40,350
Go ride your skateboard.
Be sure to wear your helmet
66
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:44,600
and your elbow pads and your
knee... At least I said it.
67
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,350
Daddy, which do you
like better?
68
00:03:46,350 --> 00:03:49,016
I love all my children
the same.
69
00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:52,350
Oh, you mean the pants?
Bridget, I'm trying to watch...
70
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:55,516
- You care what I think?
- Take the fashion show outside.
71
00:03:55,516 --> 00:03:58,641
Those of us who can
are trying to read.
72
00:03:58,641 --> 00:04:01,350
See, Kerry,
it can matter how you dress.
73
00:04:01,350 --> 00:04:03,891
- I mean, if you have hips.
- You have zits?
74
00:04:03,891 --> 00:04:07,225
- No, no, I said hips.
- Oh, you mean like
childbearing hips.
75
00:04:07,225 --> 00:04:09,683
- Shut up!
- Don't talk to your
sister like that.
76
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,475
- You always take her side!
- No, I don't.
77
00:04:11,475 --> 00:04:15,100
- Yeah, OK, you
never take my side.
- I take your side a lot.
78
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,600
- Like all the time.
- No, I don't.
79
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,350
Name one time you've
taken my side.
80
00:04:21,558 --> 00:04:23,475
I have lots of times in my mind,
81
00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:26,350
but I'm not gonna dignify
that with a response.
82
00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,891
- I'm waiting.
- OK, OK. The red ones.
83
00:04:28,891 --> 00:04:31,600
Finally. Dad likes these.
They're perfect for you.
84
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,766
You know what, I hate you
and your stupid red pants.
85
00:04:34,766 --> 00:04:37,058
Girls, don't kill each other!
86
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,058
At least I said it.
87
00:04:43,141 --> 00:04:46,350
Check this out, Bear, they're
recapping the '78 season.
88
00:04:46,350 --> 00:04:49,100
My whole fraternity
went to every game that year.
89
00:04:56,141 --> 00:04:58,516
- Something wrong?
- No.
90
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:01,350
Wow.
91
00:05:02,891 --> 00:05:05,808
Something's bothering you.
What is it, Care Bear?
92
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:13,308
- I just saw this ad.
- Hey, the Big Top's in town.
93
00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:16,141
Oh. My little girl
wants to go to the circus,
94
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:18,141
but you're too
embarrassed to ask.
95
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:22,766
Monkey. You want to
see the monkeys.
96
00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:24,891
It's disgusting.
97
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:28,891
The way they treat circus
animals is cruel and your
paper is promoting it!
98
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:31,016
- Uh-huh.
- Dad!
99
00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:34,558
God, you never care about
what I care about!
100
00:05:34,558 --> 00:05:37,933
I do. And I'll care even more
when this game's over.
101
00:05:37,933 --> 00:05:39,933
Unbelievable!
102
00:05:39,933 --> 00:05:43,350
God, you know, would it
kill you to take the time
to listen to me?
103
00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:46,725
Hey, I always have time
to listen to you. Just not
right now.
104
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,891
- You're like the
worst father ever.
- I heard that.
105
00:05:51,891 --> 00:05:54,641
See, I do listen.
106
00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:57,350
- Hello?
- Listen to who?
107
00:05:57,350 --> 00:06:00,141
Um... Kerry. We were just
having a heart-to-heart.
108
00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:03,516
- Hate! Hate! Hate!
- She says hi, hi, hi.
109
00:06:03,516 --> 00:06:06,183
- So how is everything?
- Well, I just got here.
110
00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:09,975
I forgot to pick up my allergy
medicine. Could you drop by
the pharmacy?
111
00:06:09,975 --> 00:06:13,350
Oh, man. You know
I hate buying that stuff.
112
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:16,641
No, no, no, it's really
allergy medicine this time.
113
00:06:18,016 --> 00:06:21,391
OK, yeah, I'll get it
for you, Cate.
114
00:06:21,391 --> 00:06:25,350
It's hard... You're breaking up
now. Call me later, bye-bye.
115
00:06:27,141 --> 00:06:31,183
I'm studying with Courtney.
Yes, I remembered my cell phone
and, oh, I need $40.
116
00:06:31,183 --> 00:06:34,350
You need $40 to study?
No, no. No.
117
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,933
No, no, no, no, no.
No mall today.
118
00:06:36,933 --> 00:06:39,141
- What gave it away?
- The $40.
119
00:06:39,141 --> 00:06:43,266
Cupcake, I'm not inclined
to let you go somewhere
if you lie to me about it.
120
00:06:43,266 --> 00:06:47,558
- OK, can I go to the mall?
- See, doesn't the
truth feel better?
121
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,808
No, you can't go.
122
00:06:50,808 --> 00:06:53,933
Dad, I promised Courtney. You
asking me to go back on my word?
123
00:06:53,933 --> 00:06:57,350
I will, but that is
such bad parenting.
124
00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:01,308
I don't have time to explain
to you everything wrong with
that statement.
125
00:07:01,308 --> 00:07:04,641
So you have this
obsessive-compulsive
need to shop?
126
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:09,141
OK. I'd like you to go pick up
your mother's allergy medicine
at the drugstore.
127
00:07:09,141 --> 00:07:11,600
Oh, Dad, grow up.
Pick it up yourself.
128
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,350
No, it's really
allergy medicine this time.
129
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:17,058
- Dad!
- Come on, take it or leave it.
130
00:07:17,058 --> 00:07:19,766
Fine. Like I want to sit
with Psycho Sister babbling
131
00:07:19,766 --> 00:07:22,141
about the poor
unfortunate circus animals.
132
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:25,808
I mean, God, maybe the bears
wanna dance, OK?
133
00:07:25,808 --> 00:07:27,808
It beats catching
fish with your hands.
134
00:07:27,808 --> 00:07:30,350
Bridget. Bye-bye, Bridget.
135
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:36,641
- Kerry, sweetheart.
- Holy Toledo,
136
00:07:36,641 --> 00:07:39,391
Henderson's got it at the 15,
jukes to the 20!
137
00:07:39,391 --> 00:07:42,475
He's got some blocking
down at the 30.
138
00:07:42,475 --> 00:07:45,100
Fumbles! Who's got the ball?
139
00:07:50,558 --> 00:07:53,350
- Kerry? Care Bear?
- Go away!
140
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,433
Honey, I just wanted to...
141
00:07:55,433 --> 00:08:00,183
I don't
believe it! Michigan recovers!
Michigan recovers!
142
00:08:03,641 --> 00:08:06,350
- You just wanted to what?
- Talk.
143
00:08:06,350 --> 00:08:07,933
OK. What?
144
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,808
Honey, if it'll make you feel
any better, I'm sorry.
145
00:08:13,683 --> 00:08:15,141
For what?
146
00:08:17,933 --> 00:08:19,641
I don't know.
147
00:08:24,266 --> 00:08:27,141
Look out!
And he's gone!
148
00:08:27,141 --> 00:08:30,100
Touchdown!
Michigan goes back up on top!
149
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:32,141
Touchdown! Yes! Yes!
150
00:08:32,141 --> 00:08:35,558
- And there's a flag
down on the play.
- No! No, flag!
151
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:39,266
Dad, can I talk to you a minute?
152
00:08:39,266 --> 00:08:41,350
- Can't talk.
- It's about sex.
153
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:46,850
Do I have to break out
the health book again?
154
00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:50,058
- If it's not too much trouble.
- I thought we had this talk.
155
00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:54,683
You did. I'll never forget the
giggling coming from his room.
156
00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:58,641
I couldn't help it.
You should've seen
the look on his face.
157
00:08:58,641 --> 00:09:01,850
- I'm not talking to you.
- Ha! You just did.
158
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:06,100
So, what's on your mind, buddy?
159
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:09,475
My body feels weird
when I look at girls.
160
00:09:09,475 --> 00:09:14,683
- What's going on with me, Dad?
- Well, it's a rough time,
sport.
161
00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:16,933
I remember when I was 13.
162
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:21,350
Boy, they had ads in the back of
comic books on how to get girls
163
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:25,683
through hypnosis
and X-ray specs.
164
00:09:25,683 --> 00:09:28,975
Total rip-offs. Anyway...
165
00:09:28,975 --> 00:09:32,350
Level 12! I got to level 12!
I've never been to level 12!
166
00:09:33,391 --> 00:09:35,766
What do you think you're doing?
167
00:09:35,766 --> 00:09:38,516
I'm just trying to take
my mind off my problem.
168
00:09:40,016 --> 00:09:42,350
- Outside!
- I'm sorry.
169
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:44,766
God!
170
00:09:44,766 --> 00:09:47,891
Oh, Singletary
really puts a hurt on Temerit.
171
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:50,766
- Knocked his helmet clean off.
- Total interference!
172
00:09:50,766 --> 00:09:54,558
They better
make sure his head's not
still in there.
173
00:09:54,558 --> 00:09:56,391
Shut up! Not funny.
174
00:09:56,391 --> 00:09:59,433
Not gonna get that.
175
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,683
You've reached the Hennessys.
176
00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:04,766
If calling for Paul, Cate or
Rory, please leave a message.
177
00:10:04,766 --> 00:10:08,100
If calling for Bridget
or Kerry, you have the
wrong number.
178
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,600
This is Brenner's Drugs.
179
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,266
I'm calling for the parents
of Bridget Hennessy.
180
00:10:12,266 --> 00:10:14,850
We're detaining her
for shoplifting.
181
00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:23,350
- How could you do this?
- Dad, I...
182
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:26,141
Don't even! Thank you
for calling me and not the cops.
183
00:10:26,141 --> 00:10:27,683
She will never do this again.
184
00:10:27,683 --> 00:10:32,350
At least not here.
Everybody on our wall of shame
is permanently banned.
185
00:10:32,350 --> 00:10:35,516
- Dad, I swear...
- Don't talk to me,
you are in trouble.
186
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:39,350
That closes the
door on the best half of
football I've ever seen!
187
00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:41,475
Big trouble. Come on.
188
00:10:45,475 --> 00:10:47,683
- Bridget!
- I'm not talking about it!
189
00:10:47,683 --> 00:10:51,725
- You are talking about this.
- What is the point? You've
made up your mind I'm guilty.
190
00:10:51,725 --> 00:10:54,683
The pharmacist
caught you taking lipstick!
191
00:10:54,683 --> 00:10:57,183
I would never buy lipstick
at a drugstore.
192
00:10:58,183 --> 00:11:00,725
Nobody's accusing you
of buying it.
193
00:11:00,725 --> 00:11:03,641
That's why your picture
is up on their wall of shame.
194
00:11:03,641 --> 00:11:06,350
- I cannot believe you.
I'm calling Mom.
- And ruin her day?
195
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,225
- Your day?
- You've already done that.
196
00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:10,391
Dad, if you really
want to apologize,
197
00:11:10,391 --> 00:11:13,725
write a column on your paper's
pro-animal-cruelty stance.
198
00:11:13,725 --> 00:11:17,725
All they did was run an ad
for children of all ages.
199
00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:21,141
I knew you wouldn't.
I'm calling Mom.
200
00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:24,725
- Me first.
- Does everyone
have a cell phone?
201
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:27,725
- How much am I
paying for these?
- You get the phones free.
202
00:11:27,725 --> 00:11:29,850
I bet you do.
No, you're not calling Mom.
203
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:34,016
This is a very important day
for her. We're not gonna make it
any harder.
204
00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:35,933
OK. Are you gonna
write the article or not?
205
00:11:35,933 --> 00:11:38,808
Kerry, I don't have time
to deal with you right now.
206
00:11:38,808 --> 00:11:40,725
Oh, right, I forgot.
207
00:11:40,725 --> 00:11:44,016
I was caring about animals while
you watched your football game.
208
00:11:44,016 --> 00:11:46,975
I am not watching the football
game. It's about Bridget.
209
00:11:46,975 --> 00:11:49,933
Oh, I should have known.
It's always about Bridget.
210
00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:52,891
Bridget's problems are always
more important than mine.
211
00:11:52,891 --> 00:11:58,100
"Oh, my God, Daddy, my shoe
strap broke! What do I do?"
212
00:11:59,725 --> 00:12:01,891
Bridget got busted
for shoplifting.
213
00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:05,350
She did?
214
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,808
I did not shoplift. And
thanks for telling everyone
my business!
215
00:12:08,808 --> 00:12:11,016
- Who shoplifted?
- I did not!
216
00:12:11,016 --> 00:12:13,641
- I told you to go outside.
- No way.
217
00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:17,725
People are gonna point and say,
"There goes the shoplifter's
brother."
218
00:12:17,725 --> 00:12:19,308
You are such a brat.
219
00:12:19,308 --> 00:12:22,058
Bridget! Bridget,
you get back here!
220
00:12:22,058 --> 00:12:24,058
- Nobody move!
- Stay inside, got it.
221
00:12:24,058 --> 00:12:27,725
- Nobody move? What's wrong?
- Somebody was offsides.
How ya doing?
222
00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:29,558
- Let me talk to her.
- No, no, no.
223
00:12:29,558 --> 00:12:31,308
- No?
- No, offsides again.
224
00:12:31,308 --> 00:12:33,391
The penalties are killing us.
225
00:12:33,391 --> 00:12:36,725
You're gonna hate prison.
Everyone will dress like you.
226
00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:38,141
Stop it!
227
00:12:38,141 --> 00:12:41,100
Paul, what is going on?
Do you need some help?
228
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:44,266
- Everything is fine.
- Oh, good, because
the people I'm with
229
00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:47,850
- want to go watch
the rest of the game.
- I'm having fun. You should.
230
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:51,266
Listen, everything is under
control here. Bye, love you.
231
00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:54,683
- You are so out
of control here.
- I'm out of control? You are!
232
00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:58,725
- Are you gonna
write the article?
- I can't deal with this now.
233
00:12:58,725 --> 00:13:01,641
- As long as you're
not watching the game...
- Get outside!
234
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:06,100
That's a lovely outfit, Bridget.
Where did you get it?
235
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:09,641
- You gave it to me.
- Really? I've never seen it
before in my life.
236
00:13:09,641 --> 00:13:11,725
Oh, I knew Mom put your name
on the card!
237
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:14,975
- I love how I'm on trial here.
- How much time does it take
238
00:13:14,975 --> 00:13:16,350
to step into a store?
239
00:13:16,350 --> 00:13:18,725
Longer, if you actually
pay for the item.
240
00:13:20,058 --> 00:13:21,766
You really think
I would shoplift?
241
00:13:21,766 --> 00:13:24,516
Here it is. Poor little
innocent Bridget. Know what?
242
00:13:24,516 --> 00:13:27,725
It's bad enough that you stole,
but to stand there and lie to me
about it.
243
00:13:27,725 --> 00:13:30,225
I thought you had
more character than that.
244
00:13:30,225 --> 00:13:31,975
Fine! I don't care
what you think.
245
00:13:31,975 --> 00:13:34,725
Bridget, come back! We're not
done talking, young lady!
246
00:13:35,891 --> 00:13:37,850
Go to your room!
247
00:13:39,975 --> 00:13:42,725
- Dad?
- Kerry, I am on my knees.
248
00:13:42,725 --> 00:13:48,058
I really, really can't talk
about circus animals right now.
249
00:13:48,058 --> 00:13:51,725
Do you really think
Bridget would steal?
250
00:13:51,725 --> 00:13:54,725
I mean, there's a lot of
bad things that you don't
know about.
251
00:13:54,725 --> 00:13:58,183
There's a list as long
as your arm. But stealing,
it isn't one of them.
252
00:13:58,183 --> 00:14:01,391
- There's a list
as long as my arm?
- At least. But she...
253
00:14:01,391 --> 00:14:03,725
- So what's on the list?
- I'm not telling you!
254
00:14:03,725 --> 00:14:05,725
Come on, just get me
up to my wrist.
255
00:14:05,725 --> 00:14:07,725
See, that is exactly
the problem.
256
00:14:07,725 --> 00:14:10,600
- You don't listen.
- I don't listen?
257
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,683
I mean, God, that thing about
the animals really upset me,
258
00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:16,016
but you ignore me,
'cause I'm the middle child.
259
00:14:16,016 --> 00:14:18,600
- Now, listen.
Come on, Bridget...
- Kerry! See!
260
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,600
I mean... I'm saying Bridget.
261
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,600
With her around here,
it was like a three-ring circus.
262
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,725
- Dad!
- Sorry, no circus,
come here. Kerry. Kerry.
263
00:14:26,725 --> 00:14:30,058
I really do care about what's
important to you. I always have.
264
00:14:30,058 --> 00:14:32,141
- Right.
- No, come here, come here.
265
00:14:32,141 --> 00:14:33,558
Listen, honey.
266
00:14:37,766 --> 00:14:42,558
I know you've always loved
animals. And I adore that
about you.
267
00:14:42,558 --> 00:14:45,891
I remember when you were five,
and you had just started to
read,
268
00:14:45,891 --> 00:14:50,100
you came to me heartbroken
and crying one day.
269
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:54,725
You said, "Daddy, I just
saw a sign on the corner
and it said 'Last Dog.'"
270
00:14:54,725 --> 00:14:56,725
- Do you remember this?
- Kind of.
271
00:14:56,725 --> 00:15:00,891
Anyway, you were sobbing
because you thought there
weren't going to be
272
00:15:00,891 --> 00:15:03,891
any more dogs.
273
00:15:03,891 --> 00:15:06,016
And I hugged you and I laughed.
274
00:15:06,016 --> 00:15:10,308
I said, "Honey, it didn't say
'Last Dog.' It said 'Lost Dog.'"
275
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:14,391
And then you started
sobbing all over again.
276
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:17,308
Because he was lost.
277
00:15:17,308 --> 00:15:20,725
- You found him, right?
- Yes, of course I did.
278
00:15:20,725 --> 00:15:23,600
That's what I said, didn't I?
I said that I found him
279
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,558
and I'm sure he's
still on that farm
280
00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:29,725
running and barking
and playing with all
the other little doggies.
281
00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:33,100
He's dead, isn't he?
282
00:15:35,433 --> 00:15:38,475
Well, by now.
I mean, it was a long time ago!
283
00:15:39,141 --> 00:15:41,433
Oh, God.
284
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:45,850
Dad?
285
00:15:47,725 --> 00:15:51,725
How'd you get up there? Never
mind. I don't even want to know.
286
00:15:51,725 --> 00:15:54,350
What is it, Rory?
What could be so important?
287
00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:56,516
Bridget's crying.
288
00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:08,350
Beach?
289
00:16:11,725 --> 00:16:13,725
Good idea, I'll start.
290
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,225
Honey, I'm...
291
00:16:17,725 --> 00:16:21,308
I'm sorry I accused you
without listening to your
side of the story.
292
00:16:21,308 --> 00:16:26,433
I guess it was the shock
of seeing your picture
up on that wall of shame.
293
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:29,725
- That doesn't make it true.
- I know. So why don't you...
294
00:16:29,725 --> 00:16:31,600
Tell me what really happened.
295
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:36,391
OK, well, me and Courtney
stopped in cosmetics
296
00:16:36,391 --> 00:16:39,725
because if we had to do
this thing for you, then
we might as well have fun,
297
00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:42,933
and I've never found
eye shadow that works
with my combination skin.
298
00:16:42,933 --> 00:16:45,766
"Last all night color"? That is
a laugh. I get it from Mom.
299
00:16:45,766 --> 00:16:48,558
- Is this leading
to the picture?
- Mm-hmm.
300
00:16:48,558 --> 00:16:51,141
So I looked and Courtney was
stuffing a lipstick in her bag.
301
00:16:51,141 --> 00:16:54,516
I was stunned. "What are
you doing?" And she's all,
"Everybody does it."
302
00:16:54,516 --> 00:16:57,141
I'm all, "It's stealing."
She's all, "You're a wuss."
303
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,933
- You're all...
- I'm all, "No!"
304
00:16:58,933 --> 00:17:00,558
Finally I put it back myself,
305
00:17:00,558 --> 00:17:03,183
then she grabs it and stuffs it
in her fake Fendi baguette
306
00:17:03,183 --> 00:17:06,308
and this clerk shows up and it
turns into this ugly scene.
307
00:17:06,308 --> 00:17:08,850
So you didn't take
the lipstick?
308
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:11,725
No! Dad, it was coral.
309
00:17:11,725 --> 00:17:14,808
I can't wear coral.
Look at me. Hello, I'm a summer.
310
00:17:14,808 --> 00:17:20,016
- That's all I needed to hear.
- I mean peach, sure.
Maybe tangerine too, but...
311
00:17:20,016 --> 00:17:22,516
I said that's all
I needed to hear.
312
00:17:22,516 --> 00:17:26,058
Dad, I know you don't think I
care about what you think of me,
313
00:17:26,058 --> 00:17:30,558
- but I really want
you to trust me.
- I do, Bridget, I really do.
314
00:17:32,016 --> 00:17:33,725
- So we're good now?
- No.
315
00:17:33,725 --> 00:17:35,891
No? I said I believe you.
316
00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:39,725
Yeah, but you totally bailed
on me. You dragged me out
of that store.
317
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:43,683
I was totally humiliated.
Like having my picture on
the wall wasn't bad enough.
318
00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:45,433
- Dad?
- What?
319
00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:47,725
It's happening again.
320
00:17:47,725 --> 00:17:50,725
My body's doing strange
and wonderful things.
321
00:17:52,725 --> 00:17:55,058
- I'm so confused.
- OK! Go play your video games.
322
00:17:55,058 --> 00:17:57,350
OK! Thanks, Dad!
323
00:17:59,058 --> 00:18:02,933
- Excuse me, I was here earlier.
- You're the shoplifter's
father.
324
00:18:02,933 --> 00:18:05,475
No. That was a mistake.
She doesn't belong there.
325
00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:07,891
- Oh, none of them do.
- My daughter is innocent.
326
00:18:07,891 --> 00:18:09,683
I know. They all are.
327
00:18:09,683 --> 00:18:11,891
Listen, pal,
I've had a hard day.
328
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:16,350
I had to watch the game
of the century on a two-inch
television screen.
329
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:19,475
It was the game of the century?
No, wait, wait.
330
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:22,725
Did you actually see
my girl take the lipstick?
331
00:18:23,725 --> 00:18:25,725
Yeah, you heard me.
Did you see it?
332
00:18:25,725 --> 00:18:29,433
You can't always catch 'em
red-handed. And she gave me
a lot of attitude.
333
00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:32,641
Try living with her. But that
doesn't make her a criminal.
334
00:18:32,641 --> 00:18:35,141
- Take down the picture.
- I think you'd better leave.
335
00:18:35,141 --> 00:18:40,058
I'm not leaving. You take
the picture down or I will.
336
00:18:48,016 --> 00:18:51,225
- Bridgie, look what I have.
- I gotta go.
337
00:18:51,225 --> 00:18:54,725
- Oh, you're the best.
- I think I got it down
before anybody saw it.
338
00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:56,808
Are you saying
I don't look good?
339
00:18:56,808 --> 00:18:59,141
Bridget, I am
trying my best here.
340
00:18:59,141 --> 00:19:02,141
I went to the pharmacy
and I gave the clerk an earful.
341
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:06,266
- Please, meet me halfway.
- I'll let you off the hook,
on one condition.
342
00:19:06,266 --> 00:19:09,391
- Heather's having
a party this weekend.
- Parents or no parents?
343
00:19:09,391 --> 00:19:12,683
No parents, but Heather's
responsible. Her cousin is
a Marine.
344
00:19:12,683 --> 00:19:15,475
He'll be there with his buddies,
so we'll be safe.
345
00:19:15,475 --> 00:19:19,683
I was worried, but as long
as there's gonna be tons of
Marines with school girls...
346
00:19:19,683 --> 00:19:21,433
- Have enough booze?
- Thanks!
347
00:19:21,433 --> 00:19:24,016
- That was Daddy's
way of saying no way.
- Too late.
348
00:19:24,016 --> 00:19:28,058
Mom, how was class? Stay off the
phone. I'm calling Heather.
349
00:19:28,058 --> 00:19:31,433
- Hi, I had such a great day!
- Did ya?
350
00:19:34,683 --> 00:19:39,391
I was smart and I made
new friends, and what about
that game, huh?
351
00:19:39,391 --> 00:19:43,766
I don't usually watch football,
and even I knew I was watching
something special.
352
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,350
Yeah. I waited all year for it.
353
00:19:46,350 --> 00:19:50,641
Well, I can see everything's
pretty much the way I left it.
354
00:19:50,641 --> 00:19:54,725
It was a very challenging day,
Cate. I must say, I rose to the
challenge.
355
00:19:54,725 --> 00:19:57,600
I should be inducted
into the Father Hall of Fame.
356
00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,600
Father Hall of Fame
and yet you couldn't
put your dish in the sink.
357
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,100
I'm sorry, honey.
I was very busy.
358
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:06,433
"Did you get my prescription?"
she asked,
359
00:20:06,433 --> 00:20:08,725
knowing the answer: "No."
360
00:20:08,725 --> 00:20:12,808
Uh, your prescription.
After all that. I'll go now.
361
00:20:12,808 --> 00:20:15,100
No, no, it's OK,
I owe you for today.
362
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:19,933
Get a head start putting
that dish in the sink and
I'll help when I get back.
363
00:20:19,933 --> 00:20:23,266
Cate, you don't happen to know
the score of the game, do you?
364
00:20:23,266 --> 00:20:26,308
Oh, come on, Paul.
365
00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:33,558
Hennessy.
366
00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:39,475
Hennessy?
367
00:20:40,225 --> 00:20:41,558
Yeah.
368
00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:07,141
Stay tuned
for complete game highlights
369
00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:09,141
of today's game of the century.
370
00:21:09,141 --> 00:21:12,850
Dad, this thing
about Bridget and lipstick
371
00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:14,725
started me thinking
about animal testing.
372
00:21:14,725 --> 00:21:17,266
They test cosmetics
on rabbits, you know?
373
00:21:17,266 --> 00:21:21,058
And that started me thinking
about Mr. Wiggles.
374
00:21:21,058 --> 00:21:22,558
I couldn't stand to think
375
00:21:22,558 --> 00:21:25,766
if he was in a cage somewhere
with lipstick on.
31960
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