Original subtitles

[bright upbeat music]

[bright upbeat music]

[bright upbeat music]

[bright upbeat music]

[Austin] I always forget how much I love this.

How are you feeling?

I feel like a whole new person.

Ah, getting out here is exactly what I needed.

Deer Valley is such a special place,

I'm really glad we made time for this.

Beautiful.

[Noelle] Yeah, the view is stunning.

I wasn't talking about the view.

Austin.

You know how people say

when you meet the right one, you'll know?

I always thought that was nonsense until I met you.

Noelle Lorraine Miller, will you marry me?

-Yes. -Yes?

Yes, yes, yes.

Okay, we're getting married.

[bright upbeat music]

-We're getting married. -We're getting married.

So you're ready to break the news to our family?

Our family?

Yeah, I'm a package deal, Miss Miller.

Look, I know you've had a tough go with it.

It's just, it's just been my mom and I for so long

and I always dreamt

about being part of a big, boisterous family.

As boisterous as this one?

Yes, I love them all and I love you,

and our wedding surrounded by family,

that's what I've always wanted.

Well, then that is what you are gonna get,

a big holiday wedding, surrounded by family,

and it's gonna be at River Bottoms Ranch.

Oh, Austin, that was just a fantasy,

but I'm impressed you even remember that conversation.

River Bottoms Ranch books out two years in advance.

Oh, really?

Oh, well, miraculously it was available on Christmas Day

and it's ours.

This Christmas day?

Oh, is that too soon?

No, no, it's perfect, I just don't know what to say.

Well, you already said yes, so let's go share the news.

Come on, let's go.

[air whooshing]

[bright upbeat music]

[echoing] Seth...

Seth...

Seth...

Seth...

[Grandma] Seth, sweetie, Seth?

Huh?

I need you to fix the star, it's not straight.

[Grandma groans]

Everyone, can we get your attention for a minute,

we have an announcement.

Where's Tom and Liz?

They're on their way.

-Oh, we should wait for them. -Yeah.

-Yeah. -Grandma,

the tree looks amazing.

Oh, thank you, dear,

but that darn star still isn't straight.

Now, I'm not a fastidious woman,

but I like my stars straight up, like my... drinks.

Okay, well, let me see if I can fix it for you.

Oh, okay.

Get you down.

Look at you, finally someone with a little initiative.

Hmm?

Hey, buddy, have you heard anything?

I called 47 times, it all went straight to voicemail.

Look, you gotta keep your chin up, bro.

Remember how wrecked I was after Holly?

And then one day, your whole life can turn around

just like that, when some random interior designer walks in

and buys a couple pieces of your art

and turns out to be the love of your life.

You just never know, that's the point.

But I do know this,

you're never gonna meet a new girl smelling like turd,

so take a shower, okay?

[dramatic upbeats]

[door opens]

-[Tom] Hey, everybody. -[Liz] Hey, guys.

Happy Thanksgiving.

So listen, we have some exciting news.

Why is everybody being so quiet here, what's going on?

[Austin] You've got exciting news, so do we.

You have exciting news?

-Yeah. -Okay, you know what?

We'll let them go first, you go first.

No, no, no, no, I think that's not a good idea.

Trust me, buddy, you're gonna wanna go first,

I don't wanna upstage you here.

Get on with it, I'm starving.

[Tom] Who knows what's gonna happen?

-Nope, I don't. -I do.

Okay. You know what?

Let's do it on three, okay?

All right, you ready?

-I'm ready. -One.

-Two.

-We're getting married. -We're getting married.

-What? -What?

[shouting happily]

♪ Hallelujah ♪

Congratulations, oh my God.

[applauding happily]

Oh my God...

[Austin] Oh, can you believe this?

Are you kidding me?

What is the timing of this, what is going on?

What a beautiful day.

I know.

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, how did you do it?

Well, you know, two months of planning.

Two months?

Mountaintop proposal.

Mountaintop, who would've thought that?

And when I turned around, he was on one knee.

Oh my gosh, that's so cute.

-Three months. -Three months?

Oh yeah, guess what I did?

I found the ring in the middle of a soufflé.

In the soufflé?

She made the soufflé, I put it in there,

I was just hoping that she wasn't gonna eat it.

[laughing loudly]

We should probably go talk to Seth.

Yeah, let's go talk to Seth.

All right, you wanna do it?

You want me to do it?

Let's both, let's both do it, okay.

[Tom] Hey, Seth.

[Austin] Seth.

Hey buddy, we were just wondering if you heard the news.

What news?

We're getting married.

Yeah, we finally popped the question.

Both of us.

At the same time.

I'm truly happy for you,

even my broken heart can't tarnish that, I love you both.

Love you too, buddy.

-Love you, bro. -Yeah.

Hey, everyone, I just wanna propose a little toast here.

Today is a day of great celebration and to give thanks

and I just couldn't be more thankful

and for each and every person in this room.

Here, here.

-Woo. -Cheers.

Woo-hoo.

[glass clinking]

Girls, girls, I need all the details,

have you set the date?

-We have. -We have.

Marvelous, when will it be?

-Christmas Day. -Christmas Day.

-At River Bottoms Ranch. -At River Bottoms Ranch.

-Oh my. -Here we go again.

[bright upbeat music]

Harry, are you sure your dog's been okay

underneath the table?

Oh yeah, he's just eatin' the crumbs.

[banging loudly]

Look, this just feels impossible

because I confirmed the Wright wedding for Christmas Day

an hour ago.

You know, there is something weird there

because I confirmed our Wright wedding

on Christmas Day this morning.

Wright wedding party of two, I'm sure they just thought

it was the same couple confirming the reservation.

Oh, that does make sense.

Okay, okay, look everybody, let's just take a deep breath,

whew, calm down, it's all gonna be just fine, okay?

I'm gonna get to the bottom of this, I promise you

because you know what?

As the patriarch of this family,

it's gonna be up to me to handle it.

Well, I think Grandma already got

to the bottom of it there, Tom,

and this family is clearly a matriarchy.

Touché.

Poopzie and Boobzie both getting married,

I never thought I'd see the day.

Boobzie and Poopzie.

Time to change the subject.

Yeah, absolutely, I agree with that.

You know what, we gotta focus on this predicament

at hand here.

Oh wait, which one is Poopzie?

Austin is Poopzie because when he was a little boy,

whenever he got nervous he would poop his pants.

[laughing loudly]

Not at the table, okay, all right, all right, okay.

And my Tom is Boobzie.

Okay, babe...

Yeah, Boobzie because he nursed till he was six.

That's disgusting, four tops.

No, it was six.

It was...

And what did you call Seth again?

I'm sick of being the blunt of everybody's jokes.

[loud thud]

[Austin] Oh, Seth, oh.

-Excuse me, excuse me. -[Grandma] Seth.

Excuse me.

[Austin] Seth, I wasn't making a joke.

I genuinely didn't, I genuinely forgot what she called him.

Don't worry, honey, he's...

Excuse me.

He'll be okay, he's just been a mess since Cali left,

I sure do miss that Cali too.

He'll be fine once we pull out the pies.

Okay.

So what was Seth's nickname then?

Oopsie.

[all laughing loudly]

[Grandma] Best surprise ever.

[all laughing loudly]

[air whooshing]

[bright upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

[Noelle] Sasha, where are you?

Girl, I'm in the garage with Mr. Benjamin Moore.

Oh, you used Austin's paint suggestion?

It's the Cadillac of paints.

Sasha, I'm calling because I'm getting married.

[Sasha shouting happily]

I'm so happy for you.

You know, I was wondering when it was gonna happen.

Ah, no, it was such an incredible surprise,

I'm still in shock.

When are you tying the knot?

We're getting married soon, Christmas Day.

Are you insane? That's less than a month away.

There's more though, Tom proposed to Liz

and they're also having a Christmas Day wedding

and they also booked the ranch.

This is turning into a family catastrophe.

They're brothers, how bad could it be?

Pretty bad,

I mean, neither one of them is willing to back down,

even though I think I might have a solution.

Well, let them figure it out.

We have more important things to worry about,

like your bachelorette party.

Oh no, no way, there isn't enough time.

I have so much work to do for Christmas.

Noelle, I'm not taking no for an answer.

Okay, okay, fine, but it has to be relaxing and short

because now I wanna save my vacation for honeymoon.

I hear you.

We'll do it right before the wedding,

leave everything to me.

Ah, you're the absolute best.

I know, congratulations, honey.

I love you, I'm gonna be a fiancée.

-I know. -[both shouting happily]

[air whooshing]

What a mess?

It's awful.

It's a disaster.

What a quagmire.

Quagmire schmagmire, it's a little hiccup.

No, it's not a little hiccup, Grandma,

it's not a little hiccup.

Noelle's dream wedding was at the River Bottoms Ranch

and I intend to give her that wedding no matter what.

This was an unintentional snafu, brother.

Tom, can't you just have it at some five-star resort

on an island somewhere?

You know, palm trees, skimpy bathing suits?

Don't you patronize me.

All right? What matters to Liz

is all that I care about right now, okay?

The mountains are her happy place,

and that ranch epitomizes that.

And for your information, she's a very classy lady

and she doesn't like to show a lot of skin.

I wasn't talking about her.

When I'm vacationing in the Mediterranean,

I wear a European cut bathing suit, yes,

because that is what they do in the Mediterranean.

Tommy, we all know you like to rock a banana hammock

every chance you get, drop it, we've got bigger fish to fry.

Yeah, come on, can't you just let it go?

Please, Noelle really deserves this, man.

I know, I know, but I can't do it.

Look, Liz has been working her whole life, man

and she deserves to have her fairytale.

And Noelle doesn't deserve it?

Or am I just not a Prince Charming to you?

That is not what I meant,

but now that I'm thinking about it, no,

you're not really prince material,

and you're not really that charming either.

Oh, so you're the Prince Charming in this one, huh?

I can't really see

those manicured little fingers slaying a dragon.

How dare you?

This is ridiculous.

What?

Excuse me.

You both are marrying your favorite person

on the planet, right?

Yeah.

And you plan to live long, happy lives with them, correct?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Yeah, well, I have no sympathy for you or for you.

The girl of my dreams vanished from my life,

I'd do anything to be in your shoes.

There's a very easy solution here, boys, share the day.

-What? -What?

One of you has a mid-morning wedding,

the other one has an afternoon wedding.

It's the only way to give your brides

what they truly deserve.

[air whooshing]

[gentle music]

[loud knocking]

Come in.

-Hi. -Hi.

Oh, it smells incredible in here.

My famous chocolate chip cookies, would you like one?

Obviously.

[gentle music]

-Mmm. -They're good, right?

Are you kidding?

Oh my gosh, I just wanted to come by and check in

and make sure we're good.

What? Noelle, we are more than good,

we're both getting married.

No, I know, I know,

it's just the whole wedding-day fiasco.

Let me guess.

You are the type of girl who's had every flower arrangement,

every color scheme picked out for your wedding

since you were 14?

12.

I love that, I do, it's just, it's so not me.

I had no idea what I wanted in a wedding until I met Tom.

Which is?

Tom.

Well, that is just about the sweetest thing

I've ever heard.

You really don't mind sharing the day?

Are we both going home with our hunky husbands

at the end of the night?

Absolutely.

Then it's perfect.

Okay, I just, I still feel bad, though,

that you have the morning wedding.

Don't stress, I am a total morning person.

Would you join me for my bachelorette?

Sasha's throwing it the night before the weddings,

but she promised it's gonna provide 100 percent relaxation

before the big day.

Are you sure you don't mind if I tag along?

I don't wanna steal anybody's thunder.

Are you kidding me?

If anyone's stealing any thunder,

it's our future husbands.

I mean, aren't we supposed

to be the ones bringing all the drama?

They're groomzillas.

Oh my gosh, yes, that's it.

-Yes, exactly. -It's settled, groomzillas.

Okay, so you'll come?

I would love to.

Perfect.

Before you go, I actually happen to have a bottle

of Rose chilling, some Chinese takeout

and some cheesy holiday rom-coms all queued up.

Would you care to join me?

Is it too late to marry you?

[bright upbeat music]

Let's see.

This is the one, oh, this is lovely.

Yeah, it has so much presence in the cake,

the cake, the cake.

I got this one, yes, [murmurs] I got at the wedding,

okay, just see that.

Thank you so much for meeting with us,

I know it was very short notice.

[whispering] And he's the only one that wasn't booked.

We really are very thankful that you're here

as our wedding coordinator,

we're looking forward to our forthcoming nuptials.

I'm Tom Wright.

I'm Fernando.

Fernando...

Just Fernando.

You and Prince.

Okay, that's great, you actually look...

you look a little familiar to me.

Well, so I see that you guys booked

the River Bottom Ranch for an 11:00 am wedding?

Yep.

Yeah.

Okay, and everybody has to exit the premises by 3:00 pm?

Yes, that's right.

I love it, I love it.

I love a perfect mid-morning wedding

and it shall have elegance, it shall have opulence.

Okay, okay, wait a minute, now that's what I'm talking about.

-Yes? -Yes, because we needed

to just reflect the class of the venue.

What are your thoughts?

Well, I like where you're going with the elegance thing.

Now, I think a lot of that could be accomplished

with flowers, and honestly, I've been dreaming lately

of having Liz walk down the aisle to me

while the string quartet plays "What A Fool Believes"

by The Doobie Brothers, okay?

Yes.

Now, obviously in halftime 'cause it's a wedding,

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -so like that, bum bum bum bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum.

Bum bum.

Bum bum bum bum bum.

[humming together]

Something like that, I mean, honestly, I'm still open,

but that's what I'm thinking.

Okay, it just needs to reflect

the love that we feel for each other.

Perfect, I love it.

You mean sophisticated, but unassuming,

stylish, but timeless.

Fernando will take care of everything.

So here, let me give you these folders, and they're full,

they have the vendors, the flowers, everything.

You go through them, you decide what you like,

you make the calls to reserve, okay?

And if there's anything else, you just Google it, okay?

Wait a minute, we have to call?

Well, Fernando can't do everything, right?

I gotta go, I have an appointment, I love you guys.

What happened to "Fernando can do everything?"

Listen, let's just go plan our wedding, fiancé,

you clearly have a few ideas.

I have a few ideas, you like The Doobie Brothers?

[phone buzzing]

[GPS] You have arrived at your destination.

[gentle music]

[knocking loudly]

Hello?

[bright upbeat music]

Fernando?

Yes, hi.

-You're early. -Well...

That's okay, that's fine, it's better than fine,

that's great, thanks for coming by.

-Is that my food? -No.

-Fernando? -Hey, Tom.

Tom?

Austin?

Austin?

Fernando?

Oh, you must be Fernando.

I'm Noelle, I'm so excited to work together.

Do you two know each other?

What's all the commotion?

Oh, you're both Mr. Wright.

-Oh. -Oh.

Let me guess, not only are we marrying brothers

on the same day in the same place...

But we hired the same wedding planner.

That's great.

That's perfect.

That's fantastic.

Fernando will make sure that both weddings are unique

and perfect, but different, completely different,

but both great.

Not the same, but the same in the quality, but both amazing.

No one better than the other one, it's gonna be fantastic.

Oh, we're gonna have such a good time, I love it,

I love it, I love it.

[door banging]

[Noelle] And for my dress, well, this is what I've envisioned.

I love it, oh, Miss Noelle, you're so organized

and you have such a vision.

It's nothing.

A bride that knows what she wants

is a bride that gets what she wants.

One last thing, do you have the ring?

Yes, it's already handled.

Really?

Well, yeah, what do you think I proposed to her with?

Check out this little sparkler.

Oh.

[Fernando sneezing]

I'm sorry...

[Fernando sneezing]

-My God, do you have a cat? -Cat?

Miss Noelle, would you help me with some...?

[Fernando sneezing]

Of course.

Thanks, babe.

Austin, I'm not talking about engagement ring,

I'm talking about the wedding ring.

The wedding ring?

Yes, the one that you put on her finger.

I thought that the engagement ring,

she'd give back to me

and then I put it on her finger during the ceremony.

You're so cute, and that's why Fernando is here.

No, you see, the engagement ring is a symbol of a promise.

You see how it moves forward into the future.

Now, the wedding ring is a symbol of a union.

Well, can't the one ring be the symbol

of the future and the unity?

No.

-No. -No.

Okay, with the engagement ring, the deposit for the venue,

the flowers, I mean, I'm tapped out.

Austin, you are underestimating Fernando.

What's in here is what counts, the price of the ring

or even the wedding, it doesn't really matter at the end,

it's the thought, the love.

Tell me something,

what's the most important thing to Noelle?

Family, family's the most important thing to her.

Fernando, you are a genius.

I'm gonna go through all this with you,

but I gotta talk to my grandmother real quick.

Fernando, you are a genius.

Tissue?

No, I have a lot to do.

[light music]

Okay.

[Austin] What are you guys doing?

Huh, Austin, sweetheart, how was you meeting?

It was great, Grandma.

So, Tom, what are you talking to Grandma about?

-Nothing. -Nothing?

Nothing.

Oh, great, since you're hellbent on doing nothing,

I'll be leaving.

Wait, wait, wait, Grandma,

hey, listen, maybe we should go to another room in the house

so we can just hang out and continue talking.

I knew it, you're talking to Grandma

about the wedding band, aren't you?

Which is a very important part about getting married,

which I totally knew about before today.

Don't get all hasty here, Aussie bear.

Hey, don't call me Aussie bear, and hasty, really?

You went behind my back

and you didn't even talk to me about it first.

Okay, all right, let's just set the record straight

right now for the, oh, thousandth time, okay?

I am the oldest brother,

therefore, I am the rightful heir to that ring.

Okay? So Grandma is gonna give me the ring,

and then one day I will then pass that ring on

to future generations responsibly.

Don't give me the "rightful heir" crap,

you were playing dirty, Tom.

Riddle me this, Austin, what would you have done

if you had gotten to Grandma first?

I would've consulted Grandma

-about the ring, -Oh!

and then I would've advised that we create a time

for the three of us to discuss it.

Oh, the three of us, liar.

Don't call me a liar.

Okay, knock it off, knock it off.

My Raymond gave me this ring to wear on this finger,

and it's gonna stay on this finger till I'm dead,

10 feet in the ground.

[Seth] I thought you wanted to be cremated, grandma.

Ooh, we could turn you into a diamond.

Hush up, Seth.

You're not getting my ring,

and you're not getting my ring, understood?

Understood.

Understood.

Good, now you boys, run along and plan your weddings.

I'm going to watch my show.

Seth, Antique Road Show's coming on, hurry up,

we don't wanna miss a thing.

Wait, Seth, I thought you needed a ride home today.

There's nothing down there

in the valley for me anymore, bro,

I'll be up here till your big day.

I mean, your big day.

I mean, the big day.

[soft music]

Sasha, you're the absolute best,

I cannot believe you got me a reservation at Latulie.

I set you up at the most chic, sought-after boutique

in the city, a boutique that demands refinement.

[slurping and gulping loudly]

Yeah, about that, I know it wasn't part of the plan, Sash,

but then inexplicably, he asked if he could join and...

Where's Liz?

She had to cancel, emergency at the bakery.

Aw, that poor girl,

now she doesn't get to say yes to the dress today.

Well, she was coming as moral support,

she's wearing her mother's wedding dress.

You got to see it?

Yeah, she showed me last week,

it's this gorgeous masterpiece that looks so perfect on her.

Sounds lovely, now we just have to find the dress

that looks perfect on you.

It is with great pleasure

that I welcome all of you to Latulie,

thank you for choosing us.

[woman] This afternoon is going to be so, so fun.

Okay, Noelle, what is a silhouette

that you have been drawing in your notebook

since you are 12 years old?

[bright upbeat music]

Follow me.

[bright upbeat music]

Go.

[bright upbeat music]

[inaudible]

What do you think?

Stunning, you are stunning.

Come on...

You've gotta pull it together because if you cry, I'll cry,

and I am not getting mascara on my dress before I say I do,

and I'm already crying.

[gentle music]

Oh, Sash, I can't possibly take this,

it should stay in your family.

It is in my family.

Okay, you wanna find a spot for it?

Of course.

Perfect, neither of us had the easiest childhood,

but we had each other.

And when you're up there, I want you to remember

that you are loved, and not just by Austin,

I'll always be in your corner.

I love you.

I love you more.

[bright upbeat music]

[feet stomping]

Okay, hey, babe, I didn't know you were gonna be here.

-Hey. -Ah, neither did I.

Ah, sorry, I just had a little work to do here.

Did you find the dress?

-Maybe? -Can I see it?

[Tom] Absolutely not.

What?

You can't see the bride's wedding dress

before the day of the wedding.

Everybody knows that, you dumb...

Yeah, okay, Tom, everybody knows that,

all right, you just stay out of this.

He's right, Austin, about the dress part,

not the name calling part.

I'm right about that too.

[groaning loudly]

[Grandma] Seth, what the heck happened?

I thought you had a breakthrough at the bridal shop.

[muffled] In a manger.

What?

"Away In A Manger," I was playing it on the car ride home.

And...

It's Cali's favorite Christmas carol.

[Austin] Okay, sorry, bro, that is pretty tough.

Hey, come on, why don't you play that song for all of us

you've been working on? I'm sure they'd love to hear it.

Yeah.

Wow, that was quite the show of brotherly love.

[light music]

What's wrong with you?

I'm just trying to be a good brother.

Good brother, really?

Does a good brother try to sabotage

the other brother's wedding?

You've been trying to sabotage me since I proposed.

Really?

Well, you've been trying to sabotage me

since the moment you were born.

-Ph. -Ph.

-Ph. -Ph.

-Ph. -Ph.

-Ph. -Ph.

-Ph. -Enough,

what has come over you two, huh?

Since the beginning of this,

neither of you have once asked how Liz or I feel.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

I'm sorry, honey, Noelle.

Wait a minute, you and Liz have been talking about this?

Has she mentioned anything in particular?

Yes, she's been so stressed

and we agreed not to add coal to the fire

so we've been going along with this absurd behavior.

Hope you're proud of yourself, bro,

no man should stress his bride out before the wedding.

Austin, I've been stressed too,

this is on both of you equally.

Our weddings are in two weeks,

you're gonna reconcile all of the silliness by then.

Is that clear?

Yes, babe.

Yes, Noelle.

And look, I wanna apologize again

because this whole thing, it's gotten out of hand.

Well, I'm happy to hear you say that, it's settled then.

You're going on a trip together for your bachelor party.

What, no, no.

No, no, no.

[Noelle shouting]

Liz and I want our husbands to act like brothers again.

We're doing our bachelorette the night before our weddings,

and I suggest you both do the same.

I don't know, I could do it, but I'm busy till noon,

I can't do it till after noon.

Yeah, my morning's really packed,

I mean, I'm getting married the next day.

Well, I'm getting married the next day too,

-I'm quite busy. -Well, I'm gonna be very busy.

-We're both busy. -[Noelle clearing throat]

-Okay. -Okay, we'll go.

We'll do it.

Great, it's settled.

Liz and Noelle are the best thing

that ever happened to you guys, start acting like it.

[gentle music]

The old ball and chain, huh?

You're going too, Seth.

What?

Uh, ph.

Yeah.

[giggling happily]

Hello, welcome.

What's Fernando doing here?

I invited him.

You invited him?

Oh, I'm so glad you guys made it.

Oh, shoulders.

Miss Liz, Tom...

Registry is crucial, this is your way of expressing

to your family and friends

what kind of marriage you'll have.

Place mats or tablecloth, huh?

Garlic press or juice press, huge decisions

and that's why Fernando is here

to devote myself exclusively to you.

Hey, fam.

-Hello. -Hey, guys.

-Miss Noelle. -Hi.

Why are Austin and Noelle here?

Austin...

Oh, whoa, hey.

Because I invited them,

-and the bride is always right. -You guys made it,

-a little bit late. -Well, I can't disagree

-with that. [chuckles] -No, you really can't.

So Noelle and I thought this might be fun to do together,

a little couples bonding.

Oh, exactly.

Austin, why don't you take a look at the linens with Tom

while Liz and I look at flatware.

-Sure, babe, yeah. -Yeah.

Ladies, shall we get domestic?

Ooh, oh, domestic.

[giggling sarcastically]

It's a really bright sweater.

So how do you like this pillow?

It's a beautiful, isn't it?

Look, touch, touch, you can touch, oh, oh, it's so soft.

-Oh... -You can feel the texture.

-Yeah, oh. -[Fernando murmurs]

Maybe we should go to the same spa

the ladies are going to for our bachelor party.

I know the owner there personally,

I'm sure he could squeeze us in.

I haven't had a facial in days.

Why don't we do something a little more fun like camping?

Camping in December?

It's peaceful.

-As peaceful as a spa? -Mm-hmm.

I just don't wanna go to a spa, okay?

I don't wanna go camping in sub-zero temperatures.

We're going fishing.

Where did you come from?

I drove with you.

We'll stay at Shoddy's B and B.

It's rustic, quaint,

and they serve a fantastic old-fashioned.

I'm okay with that.

You know what, I am too, it's a good compromise.

Neither of us get what we want.

Yeah, we've been doing a lot of that lately.

That's true, I gotta get back to the office

like yesterday.

I gotta get back to the office, too, home office.

It's settled, bros, I will take care of everything,

I know the perfect secret fishing spot.

Tom, we'll take your car and let me tell you,

this will be a trip to remember.

It's cool, it's cool, I can do this.

I'm alone, but I can do this.

Where the hell am I?

[feet stomping]

I mean, how many bags do they need?

They're only going for one night.

Yeah, there's a lot of options at the spa, man

and they're going for lunch

and then, of course, they have that hot tea with lemon

up on the deck, you know, which is a casual affair,

but it's a little more elegant,

they're gonna need something for that,

and then, of course, they're gonna have their kimonos

to go back and forth between the relaxation lounges

and the steam rooms.

The spa has a lot of options, okay?

Okay, you wouldn't get that

because you like to sleep outside in the woods

'cause you don't have a sophisticated bone in your body.

Hey, pal, I have a sophisticated bone, okay?

I went to see Hamilton , twice.

I know, I was right there with you

and you only asked me questions for two-thirds of it both times.

They just sing so fast, it's so hard to follow along.

-Hey. -Hey, hey, hey, babe.

-Here. -Okay, another bag.

Oh, Tom, Liz needs you upstairs.

-Oh, okay. -Oh, and thanks so much

for the hot tip on packing a cucumber.

You are so welcome, Noelle.

Cucumber?

Yeah, I'm gonna slice up the cucumber

and place them over my eyelids while I'm relaxing,

it's supposed to feel amazing

and Tom says it works wonders on puffiness.

Puffiness, got it.

I'll never understand my brother.

He's actually very knowledgeable in a lot of areas.

Oh, is he?

[air whooshing]

Yes, I am.

[laughing mockingly]

You know I marvel at all of your skills,

what I meant was that you and Tom both have so many talents

just on different ends of the spectrum.

That's what I love most about you, baby,

always trying to see the best in people.

Aw, I love you too.

[feet stomping]

Do you have any more bags up there?

[Noelle] Yeah, I'm coming with a few more.

Hey, you gotta get on the road

otherwise you're gonna miss

your mid-morning hydrafacial, Mrs. Wright.

You mean Mrs. Wright-Chodunsky?

Yeah, yep, Mrs. Wright-Chodunsky.

You're really gonna settle on the hyphen, huh?

Oh, we are settled on the hyphen,

it was always inevitable

just like you know my face will inevitably wrinkle

no matter how many hydrafacials you book me.

And I will celebrate every single one of those wrinkles

because you know what?

Every crease is proof of life well lived,

someone very wise told me that.

Wow, that is the smartest and sweetest thing

you've ever said to me, Tom.

You get more beautiful every single year, you know that?

I don't know how you do it.

Here, merry Christmas Eve Day.

What is this?

Some cinnamon rolls with a little extra cinnamon,

Baby, no, I told you, you gotta stop making these,

they're so good, but this is not what I'm trying to do here,

I'm happily and strictly paleo now.

More like neurotically and miserably paleo.

Yeah, wait, how did you bake these?

I thought your oven was broken.

Austin stopped by and fixed it,

it took him like 10 minutes.

Yeah, I fixed it.

[laughing mockingly]

He did, did he?

Yeah, he fixed the thermostat too.

Really, well, he beat me to it,

I was planning on coming up there to do it,

give it the old college try.

[laughing sarcastically]

What are you laughing at?

Listen sweetie, I love you

and you are really good at a lot of things,

but that's not one of them.

How'd he even know the oven was broken?

I don't know, maybe Noelle mentioned it to him.

-Okay. -[Seth] Hey, guys,

Grandma's car's all packed up, it's ready to go.

She already downed two energy drinks.

All right, let's get you on the road.

All right, well this is it,

I guess I will see you tomorrow, almost husband.

I cannot wait.

Hey, we are meeting Fernando at 10:00 am sharp

for our first look, so don't be late.

Yep, I'll be there with bells on, silver bells.

Jingle bells?

It's Christmas Eve, give me a break.

Okay, ladies, I gotta put on my glasses,

I can't see a thing.

Oh, here's the road.

[cars honking]

I just got enough time

to make a little detour through Vegas, got any takers?

I like where your head's at, Grandma,

I could use some debauchery in my life.

You got that right, Sash.

Oh, well, this bride could use a little relaxation

in her life.

Yeah, I agree with that.

Okay, fine, two-two, tie goes to the brides,

I did promise Noelle this will be a super chill bachelorette

if we could still call it that.

Oh, come on, we're not that boring.

Does anyone wanna see pictures for the slideshow?

I have some adorable pictures of Tom and Austin as babies.

Baby pictures?

All this wholesomeness is lovely,

but it's killing the vibe.

This is still a bachelorette party, ladies.

Oh.

Come on girls, spill, what's the wildest,

most audaciously romantic moment of your life?

Oh, well, Tom took me to the spa once and he was...

No fiancés, these stories are supposed to come

outside of any marital-adjacent bliss.

Oh.

I've got nothing.

Okay, I'm gonna jump in here.

Girls, better buckle up your seatbelt

'cause I'm about to tell you a story

that's gonna curl your toes.

Back in the day when I was a young lash

and the boys were bold and the city was pulsing,

I met a boy with curly black hair and eyes so green,

it was like a freshly picked four-leaf clover.

Bro, this is gonna be so great,

to prepare I watched A River Runs Through It,

Old Man and the Sea, Perfect Storm, Joes Three,

Lady in the Water , and two seasons of Golden Girls .

The Golden Girls.

There's only so much fishing one man can binge.

Man, I love that show.

[door closing]

Gentlemen, your noble steed awaits.

Let the adventures begin.

[bright upbeat music]

[air whooshing]

[Grandma] I gotta shimmy up that ring butter,

crawl into my bedroom and jump into my bedroom

with the covers over my head

and pretend to be sleeping for 10 minutes

before I had to get up and get dressed for church.

This driving thing, it's driving me nuts.

Oh, can we listen to some Christmas carols?

Yes.

[bright upbeat music]

Woo-hoo!

How many Red Bulls did you have, Grandma?

[laughing loudly] [bright upbeat music]

We're close, it's just around the bend up there.

What bend?

It's up there, bro, I think.

[soft music]

[Seth] Smell that fresh air, isn't it great?

[Austin] Yeah.

[Tom] Why are we walking?

Why didn't we just drive to this fishing hole?

[Seth] Oh, Tom, you're missing the point,

we're trekking out here to reconnect with nature.

Just enjoy how peaceful it is.

[blowing loudly]

[animal growling]

[gun popping loudly]

[all shouting]

[gun popping]

How much further is it?

Just around the bend, bro.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute,

you said that three bends ago.

Tom, can you please relax?

Just soak up the beauty, man.

I can't soak up the beauty.

My boots are connected to my pants, I can't even walk.

Then you should be happy 'cause the ticks won't get you.

There's ticks out here?

Hey, seriously, how many ticks are out here?

[Austin] Well, it is a game trail so...

[bright upbeat music]

[groaning loudly]

We found it.

When was the last time you fished here, bud?

Last August.

What is this?

[insect buzzing]

Well, I'm starved, let's walk back to the car.

Hey, it's snowing.

[gentle music]

[Austin] Hustle it up.

[music continues]

[breeze blowing strongly]

[bright upbeat music]

I have not been this relaxed in so long.

Ah, me either it's...

Magical.

Oh, look who's getting into the Christmas spirit.

I had a stone facial, acupuncture and a massage today,

who wouldn't?

Are you still awake over there?

Mm, barely.

I'm so glad you're here.

Me too.

Cucumber?

Ooh, absolutely.

Merry Christmas, Liz.

Merry Christmas, Noelle.

[Tom] I never understood the lure of fishing.

Honestly, the whole thing seems like a waste.

[Austin] Shocking, you spent $1,000 on a fishing outfit

that you're never gonna use again.

That's not wasteful.

Hey, Seth.

-Yeah. -How would you like

a brand new fly-fishing set-up for Christmas?

-That'd be awesome. -You got it buddy.

One man's trash is another man's Christmas present.

[banging loudly]

[Tom] Hey, what are you doing?

Will you stop it,

stop jumping on the car?

I said there's a button.

[car door opening]

Guys, I'm dealing with low blood sugar.

We've gotta break out the snacks.

-Yeah. -What's next?

It's funny, you emphatically said

you wanted to take care of everything so I left this next--

Oh my gosh.

I was banking on mountain sashimi.

All right guys, let's get outta here,

we've gotta find a restaurant, I'm serious.

-Listen, listen, listen... -My blood sugar

is getting low...

Get in the car, I'm gonna take you to a restaurant,

we're gonna buy some fish and we don't have to catch.

-Can I press the button? -No.

-[car door closing] -Get in the car.

Okay, I gotta get us to a charging station,

we've only got 10 miles here.

-Charging station? -Yeah, to charge the car,

it's electric, you know that.

Oh no, I don't have any service.

[Tom] I don't have any service either.

If it makes you guys feel any better,

I don't see any gas stations on this road either.

Oh, I ruined everything.

Oh, I dunno what's wrong with me, guys

and ever since Cali left me, I can't do anything right.

It's okay, buddy, it'll all work out.

He's right, Seth, it'll be all right.

Look, it'll make for a better story, okay?

It'll make for a better story, won't it?

Yep.

All conquests meet diversity.

Adversity.

You know, I swear I saw a building a few miles back.

Hey, Tom, if you got a feather touch with that gas pedal,

I know you can get us there.

He'll high-five you later, his blood sugar dropped.

All right, let's give it a shot, here we go.

[car engine running]

[gentle music]

Mmm.

Keep it up, fellas, doing great.

Stop talking, please.

I can't believe this, I don't know what you were thinking

letting Seth plan this whole thing.

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking either.

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.

Planning a wedding in less than a month

during the busiest time of the year for me

probably wasn't the wisest move.

Yeah, but they're worth it.

They're totally worth it.

Come on, we've got this.

I'm gonna die of starvation.

Ah, you'll die of thirst and exposure

long before that, buddy.

Hey, you know, you're actually right.

Of course I'm right, I know all about these things.

No, you don't.

Of course I do, my favorite book growing up was Hatchet.

No, it wasn't, stop it.

It was my favorite book growing up.

Gary Paulsen wrote that book.

Yeah, Gary Paulsen, what are you talking about?

It was my favorite book.

What am I talking about?

Don't, please, don't even go there.

-Listen to me. -There's no way.

Listen to me, I read you that book.

You didn't read me that book.

I read you that...

I physically remember...

Turning the page as I was reading.

You come waddling up to me,

you're like, "Hey, what are you reading?"

And I'm like, "I'm reading a little book called Hatchet,

you're not gonna get it."

You're like, "Yes, I will get it, Tom."

And I said, "Okay, I'll read it to you."

Okay, if I couldn't read then,

how come I have another memory

of explaining that book to you?

You were explaining Dr. Seuss to me.

[Austin] That's ridiculous.

[Tom] The Cat In The Hat.

-Ridiculous... -Huh, I see lights.

[laughing loudly]

Okay, yeah, we've got it, let's go, let's go...

Come on, come on, come on.

[light music]

[man coughing]

Oh, this is a holiday nightmare.

No negativity, bro, I gotta eat something.

Oh, charming watering hole.

[light music]

What's wrong, bud?

Cali would've loved this place, they have her favorite,

which later became her pet name, jalapeno popper.

[soft music]

Dude, just say it, okay?

I can't think straight, I'm too hungry.

Maybe if you'd stop thinking about your stomach,

you Neanderthal, you'd understand

your brother is in pain

and tell him everything's gonna be okay.

Hey, bud, I know you're having a rough time right now,

but just think about all the fun we're gonna have.

The weddings, snowboarding all winter, cheesecake.

Ooh, I do love cheesecake.

I know you do, bud.

Hey, how about you go wash up

and I'll order you a cheeseburger and a cheesecake?

Cherry sauce.

Promise.

Yeah, just can we take it...?

Actually that was...

I got it.

Oh my God.

Okay, just, it's fine.

He's really in a rough spot, huh?

Yeah, poor little guy.

Excuse me, can we order?

What'll be?

[Austin] So I'm gonna have two chili cheeseburgers

with everything, side of fries, a soda, cookies and cream shake

and a cheesecake.

Do you have cherry sauce?

Yeah.

Great, that's very important.

Cherry sauce, got it.

Thank you.

-And you? -Yeah, um...

Is the chef salad, is that made with organic greens?

You know what, I'll just take the...

I'll just take the house salad

with just literally a slice of lemon

and a little vinegar.

Thousand Island, blue cheese or ranch.

Excellent, I'll have the house salad dry.

Coming up.

Thank you.

Real classy establishment.

Yeah, I don't really care

unless I get some calories in me, bro.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone.

We don't usually start karaoke

for at least three more drinks...

Not karaoke.

But tonight we have an eager volunteer.

Let's give a warm welcome for Mr. Seth Wright.

[gentle music]

♪ Away in a manger no crib for a bed ♪

♪ The little Lord Jesus ♪

[man] Nobody asked for a lullaby.

♪ Asleep on the hay ♪

You're terrible, get outta here.

Hey, this is Cali's favorite Christmas song,

so you just shut up.

Who's Cali?

Who cares?

♪ The little Lord Jesus ♪

♪ Asleep on the hay ♪

You don't belong in these parts.

Okay, pal.

♪ The baby... ♪

[man boos] You are ruining Christmas.

He's dying up there, bro.

I know, we gotta do something.

[men booing]

I got you, bro.

[bright upbeat music]

Thank you, bro.

♪ The first Noel the angel did say ♪

♪ Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay ♪

♪ In fields where they lay keeping their sheep ♪

♪ On a cold winter's night that was so deep ♪

♪ Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ♪

♪ Born is the King of Israel ♪

♪ They looked up and saw a star ♪

♪ Shining in the east beyond them far ♪

♪ And to the earth it gave great light ♪

♪ And so it continued both day and night ♪

♪ Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ♪

♪ Born is the King of Israel ♪

[mutters indistinctly]

Tough crowd.

Of all the places to take my break.

I gotta tell you, that was completely uncalled for.

Yeah, you're right, we weren't that bad.

-No.. -Yeah, you are,

your singing, it's garbage.

What did you just say?

Austin, stand down, let me handle this.

What did you just say?

I said, you and your dumb sisters are awful singers.

Okay, nobody calls Tom an awful singer.

Please let me handle this.

Nobody calls me an awful singer.

-Ah, you did it again. -What?

Made it all about you.

What are you talking about? I didn't make it all about me.

You always do...

-I am the eldest, it is my job...

-Oh, the eldest thing again. -Look, back off.

-Yo, don't touch me like that. -I'll touch you...

-Don't touch me like that. -I'll do what I want.

-Don't touch me like that. -I'll touch you again.

-Don't touch me... -[chattering angrily]

I don't want you touch me like that.

I'll touch you right now.

[hitting loudly] [both groaning]

[laughing and shouting mockingly]

Woo, I won.

[banging loudly]

[both groaning]

Enough, nobody messes with my brothers.

Hello?

[Seth shouting]

[dragging and groaning loudly]

[woman whistling]

Bar fight.

[chattering angrily and hitting]

Get in here, get in here.

This got outta hand.

Are you okay?

Yes.

Naughty, naughty, naughty..

[woman screaming]

Definitely naughty.

These guys are nuts.

Yeah, listen, if we don't make it outta here alive,

I just wanna tell you something, I love you, Seth.

I love you too, bro.

And Austin, I'm so sorry for everything, you know?

I mean, I gotta tell you, when I was sliding down the bar

and I hit the ground, everything became crystal clear.

You know. I'm the eldest and I've been doing a terrible job

setting a good example about this entire situation

the whole time.

Stop it.

Just 'cause you're the oldest,

it doesn't mean you always have to be perfect all the time.

When I found out there was a problem,

I should have called you first for a solution.

I appreciate you saying that.

You know I'm absolutely thrilled for you and Noelle, right?

I'm so happy for you and Liz.

I hate to break up this love fest early, bros,

if we don't get outta here, we're gonna die.

[air whooshing]

He's right.

All right guys, listen, on the count of three,

we're leaving here like men, agreed?

-Agreed. -Agreed,

All right, on the count of three,

-one... -One...

Let's go.

-That wasn't three. -That wasn't it.

-Okay, let's go. -We need to do it.

All right, let's go.

[chattering angrily]

Naughty forever.

[all panting]

Hey, guys.

[all panting]

I just wanted to say, you sticking up for me in there,

it means everything to me.

Come on, we're brothers,

we're always gonna stick up for each other.

That's right, Tom's right.

I can say whatever I want about you two,

but if anybody else does, done.

It really was a perfect day.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Yeah, it was a good day.

Hey.

Oh yeah, we got this for you on the way out.

Cheesecake with cherry sauce.

I love you guys.

[Austin] Merry Christmas.

[Tom] Merry Christmas.

So what are we gonna do now, gentlemen?

At this point, wait for a Christmas miracle.

What are you doing?

You're gonna eat it now?

You're just gonna dig in?

Just go, wow.

All right, give me some of that,

I've gotta make sure it's fresh.

It's fresh and good, it's really good.

-No, I'm good, it's fine... -Come on.

I don't eat stuff like that.

All right, it's special occasion, I'll give it a try.

That's good stuff, that's very good stuff.

All right, let's...

-Let's go... -This way...

Let's walk and eat, walk and eat.

That's why I don't eat stuff like that,

I'd just eat it all the time, stuff like that.

[men grunting]

Come on.

Look, up ahead, a Christmas miracle.

Come on.

[soft music]

[whispering] Happy birthday.

[men snoring]

[gentle music]

Jackpot.

[soft music]

Oh, guys, I got service.

What, how much, how much?

About a bar.

Okay, do it.

It's going through.

[soft music]

Austin?

Noelle, baby, can you hear me?

Are you okay?

We haven't been able to reach any of you.

Don't freak out, baby, we're safe, we're okay.

We're about 100 miles out, our earliest ETA is like noon.

Noon, what?

Yeah, 12, can you hear me?

12 o'clock, baby.

Okay, look, can you tell Liz Tom is really sorry

that he messed this up, we're both really sorry.

We wanna get married to you guys so bad, we love you.

I think I have a plan, just get here when you can.

-Can you hear me? -Okay?

Noelle.

-[phone signal breaking up] -Austin?

Baby?

Austin, hello?

Oh, shoot. Liz!

Lost it, I think she got it, I don't know.

Liz, I just heard from Austin, they're alive.

Oh, thank goodness.

But there's more.

Uh, ladies, can you give us a minute?

Thanks.

What?

Battery meter's gotta be at 41% for us to have enough.

What's it saying, Seth?

We're at 39%, bros.

Are stranded, like present tense?

Yeah, but they'll be here by noon, probably.

Oh, okay... Um, why are you so calm?

Because this is what I wanted all along.

What?

One big, boisterous family wedding.

I am not following.

Liz, from the beginning of this

I thought we should have a joint wedding, together.

Are you sure, Noelle?

You have been dreaming of this day since you were 12.

Do you wanna know what I've dreamt of

way, way before my wedding day?

A sister.

[soft music]

I love it.

Forgive me, ladies, I could not stay outside the door

stringing to hear every word any longer.

What do you think, Fernando?

Is this possible, one giant wedding?

Of course, Fernando will take care of everything.

Okay, so we're doing this?

We're doing this?

We're doing this.

We're doing this, we're doing this.

We're doing it.

I'm so excited, I keep looking at you...

I've got a lot of work to do.

Ladies?

Austin, relax.

You're gonna rip your jacket.

Why can't I do this?

Why are all suit jackets this impossible?

What are you doing? What are you doing?

Stop, come here, stop, stop, stop.

There we go, there we go, okay?

Gosh, what were you doing?

Look at this, you tie every knot in the world

except the neck tie.

I don't wear ties.

I know, clearly, hold on.

I got you.

Look at this, huh?

There you go, okay?

-Hey. -Hey, that's a nice knot.

-I know it is.

41%, we're at 41%.

Let's do it, let's go.

[car door closing]

[car engine running]

[bright upbeat music]

[car engine running]

[Seth] The brides await, I'll park the car.

[car engine running]

[bright upbeat music]

Why did he park so far away?

I don't know.

[gentle music]

Grandma, Grandma,

Grandma, you look so beautiful.

Where are the girls?

Yeah, shouldn't you be up front?

[gentle music]

Is everything okay?

Just sit down for a moment.

Oh, I don't think we should sit, we gotta get inside.

Yeah, we're late.

We're really late.

Sit.

-Okay. -All right, sorry...

There's something I wanna give you,

it'll only take a second.

[gentle music]

What's this?

[bright upbeat music]

Grandma?

-What is this? -Your wedding ring?

They're both my wedding bands.

How?

I took it to the jeweler and he melted it down,

he added a little extra metal and divided it into three.

I'm saving the third one for Seth,

it was his idea to melt it down.

-Amazing. -Genius.

So cool, thanks, Grandma.

Thank you, Grandma.

You're more than welcome.

I love you boys with all my heart

and now, let's go get you two married.

-Let's go. -Let's go.

It's time.

[gentle music]

You look radiant, sis.

I could say the same about you.

This old thing?

Ready?

Ready.

I better go take my seat.

Oh, Seth Fitzgerald Wright, would you do me the honor?

Nothing would make me happier.

Fernando, thank you for everything.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you, sweet Noelle.

You ready to do this?

[Seth] Are you ready?

I'm so ready.

[gentle music]

I think there's been a huge misunderstanding.

[gentle music]

It brings me such joy to see all these faces

of those I love so dearly, especially these four

that are standing right next to me right now.

Someone once said that a good marriage

is one where each partner secretly believes

that they got the better end of the deal.

I don't know who that someone was,

but why have a good marriage when you can have a great one?

I say don't keep that secret.

Tommy and Liz, Austin and Noelle,

love is worth the risk.

So tell each other every day that you're the luckiest,

most blessed person on the planet

because if you do that, you will be.

[gentle music]

In sickness and in health.

For richer or for poor.

For better or worse.

For as long as we both shall live.

I do.

I do.

I do.

I do.

[gentle music]

You may kiss your brides.

[bright upbeat music]

Let's party.

[audience applauding happily]

Yeah, I left like 47 notes around your apartment,

including a reminder to wash your underwear.

You did do laundry, right?

-Yeah. -And we talked

about how the internship was in a remote zone

without Wi-Fi or a phone.

We did?

I'd never bail on you, Seth.

I know that now, and now is all that matters.

I wrote you something.

Really?

I got you, bro.

Thank you, bro.

[bright upbeat music]

♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪

♪ Let it snow ♪

♪ I'm the one knocking at your door ♪

♪ Standing under the mistletoe ♪

♪ Merry Christmas, baby ♪

♪ Let it snow ♪

♪ I'm the one knocking at your door ♪

♪ Standing under the mistletoe ♪

♪ Silent night, star light star bright ♪

♪ You're my wish tonight ♪

♪ Sugarplums are dancing ♪

♪ Snowflakes blow through the air ♪

♪ Magic of Christmas surrounds us everywhere ♪

♪ But I'm down in there ♪

♪ Come on in my boots ♪

♪ The top of my list is your name ♪

♪ Make my dreams come true ♪

♪ All I want for Christmas is you yeah ♪

♪ Merry Christmas, baby, let it snow ♪

♪ I'm the one knocking at your door ♪

♪ Standing under the mistletoe ♪

♪ Merry Christmas, baby, let it snow ♪

♪ I'm the one knocking at your door ♪

♪ Standing under the mistletoe ♪

♪ Merry Christmas, baby, let it snow ♪

♪ I'm the one knocking at your door ♪

♪ Under the mistletoe ♪

[bright upbeat music]

♪ I still believe ♪

♪ I still believe ♪

♪ In miracles ♪

♪ Merry Christmas, baby, let it snow ♪

♪ I'm the one knocking at your door ♪

♪ Under the mistletoe ♪

♪ I still believe ♪

[applauding happily]

[upbeat music]