Original subtitles

This old guy gets laid more than you do.

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He turned out to be 70 years old. What?

Yeah, his picture was from 1986.

I should have been more suspicious. I asked him about the classic car he was

standing with, and he said it was a 1986 Trans Am.

You're not having very well luck, are you? No.

I can't get back into this dating scene.

My self -esteem's been crushed from a cheating husband who left me for a 23

-year -old ballerina.

Wait. I thought you said she was a stripper. She was a stripper. I'd much

see her as a ballerina. It makes me feel much better about myself.

All right, I'm going to find you some guy to settle down with. You know, a

quality guy. One that really appreciates you.

Yeah, I don't know about the settling down thing. I did it for 15 years.

What did it get me? $100 ,000 in debt and a juicer. I don't even juice.

It's a nice juicer, though.

I'd rather get laid.

Really? Yeah. Well, that changes things a bit.

Actually, you know that kid that I was dating at the tattoo shop? Yeah.

He has this really cute friend.

Old enough to buy me a drink?

I'm sure he's old enough.

Well, he's old.

Cheers. Anyways,

it ends up the picture was taken in 1986, and this guy's, like, almost 100

old.

That's funny.

I mean, it probably wasn't that funny taking the picture at that time. I mean,

you know, that era.

thing. Women of your age.

How's single life treating you?

Wow.

Dude, you're a douche.

This woman is a goddess.

She needs to be appreciated like a fine wine.

Age to perfection.

Just dripping with experience and knowledge from all those years on this

walking and... Stop and save yourself now.

What? Really? It was a compliment.

Yeah, but you're... Just thump on your head, please.

Yeah.

So, anyways... Well,

who wants to fuck?

Oh my god, thank you for breaking any ice. I would totally love to do that.

Alright, cool. Hey.

Keep moving the couch.

Yes I do.

Oh fuck.

Don't talk. We'll be fine.

That's okay. You don't need to see.

That's beautiful.

Fuck yeah.

Yeah.

Oh my god, that's so good.

Let's put this up.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

We got a fan on it. Here we go.

Here, give me this for a second.

And looking up at him, Dane just going to hand over to you. Here we go.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

This old guy gets laid more than you do.

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