All language subtitles for It.All.Came.True.1940.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC

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[instrumental music plays]

[indistinct conversations]

Oh!

Oh!

Well, I declare!

[sighs]

Oh!

Mrs. Taylor!
Mrs. Taylor!

Mrs. Taylor!

I was followed.

Really, miss flint?
Again?

All the way home from
the woman's exchange by a man.

How terrible.
How awful.

He was a youngish man,
dark complexion, I think,

with a wild look
in his eye.

It's a wonder she isn't followed
by a whole crowd

the way
she gets herself up.

Well, I declare.

Now, Mr. Boldini,
that's unworthy.

Don't mind Mr. Boldini, dear.
He doesn't mean it.

Sit down and eat your dinner
before it gets cold.

Oh, Mr. Salmon.

Miss Flint.

Oh, thank you.

- Oh, Miss Flint.
- [dog barks]

Look at Fanto.

Isn't he wonderful?

I've always found Fanto
a quite acceptable stooge.

- Quite acceptable.
- Stooge?

Theatrical parlance,
Mrs. Taylor.

[Maggie in Irish accent]
Mrs. Taylor? Nora!

Nora!

What is it, Maggie?

Come on down here.

Wait till my partner
comes down.

She'll say the same as I do.

Well, she always has.

And for a very good reason.

If Miss Minnie was alive,
heaven rest her soul,

she'd say
the same thing, too.

I know.

All your boarders
were friends of Miss Minnie's,

heaven rest her soul.

But she left the house
to you and Mrs. Taylor.

Excuse me, please.

Nora, it's
himself again.

Oh, dear.
I hope he doesn't —

He does. He wants us
to sell the house.

Oh, dear.

As your legal advisor,

I must warn you
it's the only way out.

The bank won't wait
much longer.

Ah, the back of me hand
to the bank!

What they want is money.

Haven't they got enough?

Anyway, my Sarah Jane
has been a big stage star

in Atlantic City
for more than a month.

She'll pay them.

I wish I could believe that.
Do you?

No.

Well, what are you
going to do, then?

I'm gonna tell Father McGuffey
on the bank.

He'll make them behave.

Well, I guess
it's hopeless.

I'll do the best
I can, though.

Good night, ladies.

[both] Good night.

Ohh. Ohh.

[sighs]

Everything will come out
all right, Maggie.

I made up a story about it.

Ah, you and your stories.

But this one is about Tommy.
I know he loves me,

even though
he has been gone five years

and hasn't sent a letter.

He's somewhere.
Paris, maybe.

And, Maggie, where
do you think he can be?

Mrs. Taylor,
it's time for the rummy game.

The rummies are waiting.
Come on.

Four Aces,
three Jacks.

Mr. Boldini's
won another game.

That puts him in the lead
with 1,800 —

5,1 and 5—

1,834 games.

Miss Flint,
you are wrong.

1,835 games.

It's quite
a lot of games.

Or don't you think so?

Mrs. Taylor?

Yes, Mr. Van Diver?

When will Miss Minnie
be down?

She should have been here
hours ago.

Now, Mr. Van Diver,
you know where Miss Minnie is.

Oh, yes.

For the moment,
I had forgotten.

Peaceful here, isn't it?

Peaceful and secure.

[bang, thud]

[woman] Wouldn't take no
for an answer, huh?

Thought you'd
follow me home?

[banging]

[dog barking]

[man and woman
arguing indistinctly]

What made you think
you'd get away with

anything like that with me?

Wouldn't take no
for an answer, huh?

Thought you'd
follow me home, did you?

So you thought you'd
get away with something!

You dirty little beast!

Scram!

Okay, it's me, Sarah Jane.
Open up.

It's Sarah Jane.

Oh, Fanto,
how's a man's best friend?

Hello, Mr. Van Diver.

Hello, kids!

Welcome home, Sarah Jane.
We've missed you quite a lot.

Welcome home,
Sarah Jane.

Oh.
Thanks, Boldini.

Say, did you hear
Mr. Merkle and me

whooping it up
on the front stoop?

Did he molest you?

I was molested today
by a man —

Can you imagine?

He was going to
make me a torch singer.

He took me into his studio,

and after about five minutes,
I said, "Yeah?

Well, I've never heard this
called an audition before."

He followed me home
in a taxi cab.

Yeah, and with a get, too!

As if I didn't know how
to handle a monkey with a get.

The man
who followed me —

he said he wanted
to discover me... me.

Well, I've been discovered
so many times,

they call me
"Miss America."

- Where's ma?
- Up in her room.

So long, kids.
Go on with your game.

Thanks, Boldini.
How's your liver?

I'll be seeing you.

Just like
a breath of spring.

Hello, ma.
I'm home, I'm home!

Oh, I thought
it must be you!

A fine way to come home —

jolting the neighbors
out of their beds.

What happened
in Atlantic City?

The usual thing.

Fired again. Ha!

That makes six times
this year.

Ah, Sarah Jane,
why can't you keep a job?

When you went to work
for Mr. Greenfield this time,

I felt sure you was made.

So did greenfield.

Oh, sometimes I'm almost glad
that poor Miss Minnie's dead,

heaven rest her soul.

At least it saves me
the shame of having her know

that me own girl
has grown up to be a hussy!

- I am not. I'm a good girl.
- You are not.

You don't act like a good girl,
don't talk like a good girl,

and you don't dress
like a good girl.

Listen, ma, I act and talk
and dress exactly as I please,

but technically,
I'm still a good girl.

I don't believe it!

If anybody else said that,
you'd kill them.

- Oh, ma, I love you.
- Ah, do you, now?

When I went to work
in Atlantic City this time,

- you know what I planned?
- What?

I was going to make enough money
to buy you a new silk dress

and some new furniture
for the parlor,

and a silver frame
for Miss Minnie's picture.

Sarah Jane,
what are you trying to say?

Ma, could you
lend me 20 bucks?

- No!
- OW!

I thought so.

Why don't you ask
for a million?

Can you spare it?

Now that you're home,

what are you going to
do with yourself?

Well, right now, I think
I'll go down to the icebox

and see if there's any beer.

Oh, ma, please be glad
to have me home.

Ohh.

So long, Minnie.
See you around.

How dare you!

Oh, Miss Minnie,

what are we going to
do with her?

- Maggie.
- Oh.

Did Sarah Jane
bring home any money?

She wanted to borrow $20.

What about Father McGuffey?

I phoned him, and he said he
can't do nothing about the bank.

Oh, don't worry, dear.

My story about Tommy

is beginning
to work out better now.

Ah, it's a lot of imagination
you'll need.

The story I'm making up is,
he wants to surprise us.

He's been working hard
and saving his money,

and soon he'll come home
in a fine, big car.

It'll have a cut-glass light
in the top,

and he'll have money
in every pocket.

He'll be a great composer,

and he'll play for us
and tell us not to worry.

["Oh, Danny Boy"
plays on piano]

Good night.

Hey, that too sticky
and sentimental

for 3:00 in the morning.

Play something of your own.

Why?

Because I'd like
to hear it.

[up-tempo piano music plays]

Hey, that ain't bad.

Maybe I'll help you
get it published.

That's what you said
three months ago.

Well, that ain't so long ago.
Maybe I'll still do it.

I don't think you will.
I'm quitting.

Huh?

You can pay me off tonight.

What's the idea?

I'm tired of playing
for peanuts and promises.

And I'm tired of packing
a get for you.

The law catches up with you,

I don't want to stick my neck
out to try to save yours.

I like my neck.
It's the only one I've got.

Hey, come here.
Come here.

- Where you gonna go?
- I don't know.

Back home to mama?

No.

Ah, you'd be better off
sticking with me.

I like your music.
Come on, let's go.

Mr. Maguire, the cops.
We're staked.

Come on, kid.

- George.
- What's happened?

Open that safe.

Monks —
the double-crossing rat.

Turn off them lights.

Get those records
out of the safe

and pile them on the floor —
all of them.

[rattling]

Bring the axes.

Get some lighter fluid
or something

and make this stuff burn.

Keep your trap shut.
Come on, Tommy.

Where's Maguire?

I don't know.

[Chips]
Give me that gun.

- [Tommy] Don't, Chips.
- Give me that gun!

[gunshots]

[brakes squeal]

That double-Grosser
that Monks turned out to be.

Sitting in my office
as nice as you please,

and all the time,
he's got the cops tipped off.

Where you gonna go?

And to think
that I might get in trouble

for plugging
a rat like that.

[chuckles]

Well, the law's
awful cockeyed sometimes.

I asked you,
"Where you gonna go?"

Huh?
Oh, I don't know.

I got a couple of hideouts,

but Monks has probably tipped
the cops off to them, too.

Say!

Hey, that dump
your old lady runs

is a boardinghouse,
ain't it?

How'd you know that?

What, do you think I hire guys
that I don't look up?

Sure, that'll make
a swell hideout

till my lawyer gets things
straightened out.

We cook up a story so the old
lady don't get suspicious.

Forget it.

I've done enough
to worry my mother

without bringing home
a prize package like you.

I wouldn't take that attitude
if I was you.

The boardinghouse is out!

Now, look, Tommy,
why do you suppose

I had my lawyer take out
a gun permit in your name?

The cops are gonna carve
a bullet out of Monks.

What if they get hold of
the gun that fired that bullet?

So, that's it, huh?

That's why
I had to carry a gun

to hold down a piano job
at the Cairo club.

Sure, I always like to have
an alibi ready for an emergency.

Now, if I was to toss
this artillery

out in the street,
what happens?

The cops learn
it rubbed out Monks.

So, who do they look for,
you or me?

Me, I suppose.

What makes you think I'll
be where they can find me?

I bet they won't find you,

but they're sure
to find your old lady.

Yeah, how do you think
she's gonna feel

when the cops tell her
her kid's wanted for murder?

You want to bust her heart?

If there was ever a heel...

'Course, it ain't
ever gonna come to that,

because just as long
as I got hold of this gun,

you're gonna do
exactly as you're told.

Now, give the driver
your address.

[doorbell buzzing]

[buzzing continues]

[Nora]
Who's there? What is it?

It's Tommy.

Tommy.

Tommy!

I knew you'd come home,

driving a great big —

I knew you'd come home.

[crying]

Let me look at you.

Wait a minute, ma.

Come in.

This is Mr. Grasselli.

How do you do?

Pleased to meet you,
Mrs. Taylor.

Won't you come in to the parlor?

- The what?
- The parlor.

Oh, yeah, sure.

If you only knew how
I've dreamed about this.

Yeah, sure.

It looks about the same.

You'll have to excuse me,
Mr. Grasselli,

but I haven't seen my boy
for five years.

Go right ahead.
If he can stand it, I can.

Isn't there something
I can get for you?

Maybe some supper
or something to drink?

No, thanks.

Mr. Grasselli wants a room
for a while. Have you got one?

Yes, on the next floor,
at the back.

Maybe I could have the little
room next to him, huh?

Tommy, you can have
anything you want.

You see, he doesn't
like to be alone.

Just a great big baby,
Mrs. Taylor.

I'll show you right up.

Hey, this is some joint.

Looks like a museum.

I hope you'll be comfortable
here, Mr. Grasselli.

It was
the old gentleman's room.

[dramatic music plays]

What's that?

That was part of the old
gentleman's collection,

he was a naturalist.

And, Mr. Grasselli,
I hope you don't mind,

but they mustn't
be touched.

They won't be.

[shade flaps]

[dramatic music plays]

That was one
of his best specimens.

He was a fine man.

He died right in that bed,
heaven rest his soul.

You can pull this up
if you get cold.

Now, just you stop fussing about
me, Mrs. Taylor. Good night.

Oh, but I'd be glad
to lay out —

why, we forgot
the baggage.

Uh, we didn't bring it.

I'll get it first thing
in the morning.

Oh, I see.
Breakfast is at 9:00.

I forgot to tell you
that Mr. Grasselli

wants his meals
in his room.

He wants to stay in here
all the time.

Well, not while
I'm making it up.

Yeah, but you see, it's
doctor's orders, Mrs. Taylor.

I'm recovering
from a nervous breakdown.

It upsets me to see people.

I'm so sorry.
Of course I don't mind.

Oh, I ain't asking
for no favors.

I'd be glad to pay extra.

You must have a lot of money
to throw around, Mr. Grasselli,

paying extra just to sit around
and watch a bed being made up.

But if you're sick,
you better go right to bed.

Would you mind if I waited
till you got out?

I'll go right now.
Good night.

I'll go
and fix your room up.

All right.

- [door closes]
- Listen, Tommy, I —

Mr. Grasselli, the bathroom
is just across the Hall.

- Thanks. Good night.
- [door closes]

Will you please tell your old
lady to keep out of my hair?

Oh, that's just ma's way.

Yeah, well, tell her anyway,
will you?

Oh, I hate mothers.

Silver threads among the...

[dramatic music plays]

Top of the morning
to you, ma.

Middle of the afternoon to you.
Lunch is over.

All the better
for my figure.

You'll have to
get up for your meals

if you want to get anything
around this house.

I don't want any meals.
All I want's a cup of coffee.

And I might try
a piece of that steak.

Sure.

Ah, I don't believe
in this diet.

How about some potatoes
with your steak?

Well, if there's any gravy,
I'll try a little of that, too.

Sarah Jane?

Hmm?

- Sarah Jane?
- Hmm?

Tommy's come home.

Tommy?
No kidding?

Oh, so what?

Can you imagine
Chips Maguire?

I used to work for him in
the Villa Paradise Nightclub.

I said Tommy's home.

I heard you.
So he's home.

Ma, inside me, I'm bursting
with girlish enthusiasm,

but I'm trying
to control my feelings.

You take it as if
he'd only gone away yesterday.

Oh, that's
a fine-looking fella.

Where is his face?

Well, Chips isn't
exactly photogenic.

Ah, don't talk dirty!

Ma, you have
the lowest mind.

That only means he never lets
them take a picture of him.

There's a piece of
lemon meringue pie left over.

You want it?

One more bite
can't make any difference.

Tommy brought a friend
back with him last night.

He's going to stay here
as a boarder.

Yeah?

- His name is Mr. Grasselli.
- Never heard of him.

He's home, up in the parlor,
trying out the piano.

Why don't you run up there
and see him?

Let him run down here
to see me.

Sarah Jane, is there anything
wrong between you and Tommy?

Anything wrong?
How could there be?

Well, then why don't you want
to go to talk to him?

What'll we talk about?

About the letters
he didn't write

and the postcards I didn't get?

Of course, we could talk
about when we were kids

and he pulled my hair
and I slapped his face,

but that would lead
into a fight.

Unless he's changed a lot in
five years, we'll fight anyway.

One of us will make a smart
crack, and we're off again.

That'd button down
your temper for once.

Button down your own!

Well, now, Sarah Jane,
you try it just this once.

Step off on the right foot by
saying something sweet to him.

Really,
he's dying to see you.

- Go on.
- Oh, please.

Do what you're told.

Oh, quit pushing me
around!

[door bangs]

Maggie...

Do you know what I think?

Ah, you don't think.
You imagine.

Stories all the time.

This is a true one
about Tommy and Sarah Jane.

They're secretly in love
with each other,

and after five years, they're
scared of the first meeting.

Ah, that's a lollapalooza!

[slow-tempo piano music plays]

[music stops]

Hello, runt.

- Hello, smarty-pants.
- [music resumes]

I heard you were home.

Where have you been?

Oh, Chicago, St. Louis,

San Francisco, Panama,
a lot of places.

And you never sent a word
to your poor, old mother.

She was almost crazy
sometimes.

I don't need you
to tell me about it.

You don't need anybody
for anything, do you?

If you mean I can take care
of myself, you're right.

Yeah, well,
from the looks of you,

you've been making
a swell job of it.

I've been doing all right.

Why'd you come home?
Who's Grasselli?

Why don't you mind
your own business?

Why don't you take a running
swan dive into the East River?

Did you sleep well,
Mr. Grasselli?

Yeah, pretty good.

Kind of quiet around here,
ain't it?

- Hey, does she live here?
- Who?

The redhead
that just went by.

Oh, that must have been
Sarah Jane.

Oh, that's her name, huh?
Sarah Jane?

That's Mrs. Ryan's daughter.

She's two years younger
than my boy, Tommy.

They were brought up like
brother and sister, they were.

I made up a little story
about them.

Would you like to hear it?

Yeah, but some other time,
Mrs. Taylor.

Right now,
to be candid with you,

I'm trying to get
to the bathroom.

With your hat on?

Yeah, why not?

Well, then,
I'll make the story short.

Now that Tommy's home,

he's gonna work on his music
and become a great composer,

and Sarah Jane
is gonna be discovered

and be a great movie star.

Then they'll get married
and be rich and famous,

and none of us will
have to worry anymore.

Isn't that wonderful?

Yeah, but it's kind of
corny, ain't it?

Don't you like stories,
Mr. Grasselli?

Yeah, I do, when they got
some red meat in them.

I go for
prize-fight yarns —

something with gangsters
in them.

- You know, something real.
- You mean, with villains?

Yeah. Yeah.
I guess that's what I mean.

But I don't believe
in villains, Mr. Grasselli.

Oh, you don't?

No, not even in real life.
Nobody's really a villain.

Nobody's really bad.

[chuckles]

Yeah, some of the boys I know
would be glad to hear that.

Oh, please don't smoke another
cigarette, Mr. Grasselli.

Look at these —
all since last night.

You shouldn't smoke so much,

considering the state
of your health.

Now, listen, Mrs. Taylor,
you know, my health

would be a lot better if
you'd stop worrying about it.

Well, I'm only trying
to take care of you.

Please don't.

Mr. Grasselli,
are you an orphan?

Wha... Why?

Well, every time
I try to take care of you,

you act so funny.

It makes me think
you've never known

a mother's loving care.

I-I think
I can make it now.

Oh, dear!

Hey!

Hey, what are you
snooping around for?

I wasn't snooping.

I was just putting
your things away.

Besides, we're not used
to having boarders

who bring in guns
in their suitcases.

Wait a minute, Mrs. Taylor.

Don't jump
to any wrong conclusions.

See, I-I do quite a bit
of hunting.

It's sort of
a hobby with me, yeah.

As a matter of fact, just as
soon as I get to feeling better,

I'm going on a hunting trip.
Heh heh.

That's why I had them guns
sent along.

Oh, well, I thought —

Yes, I can see
how you would.

I'm sorry I got mad.
I hope you'll excuse me.

Oh, sure, sure.

Mrs. Taylor,
don't spread it around.

The others might jump
to wrong conclusions, too.

I give you my word,
I won't mention it to a soul,

not even Maggie.

I'll go and fetch your tray.

[whistles]

[car door closes]

A month is a long time

for a man like Mr. Grasselli
to stay cooped up.

Better keep your eye
on him, Tommy.

See that he doesn't
take any chances.

All you do
is talk about Grasselli.

- What about me?
- [chuckles]

You'll be all right,
Tommy, my boy.

You just string along
with Mr. Grasselli.

He likes you.
You're in good hands.

Sure, and they're
right around my neck.

Good night, Tommy.
All right, Mike.

[door closes]

Oh. Hello.

It's a little girl's
bedtime.

Or don't you think
you need beauty sleep?

Who's the man with
the satchel and the brown hat

who comes to see Mr. Grasselli
all the time?

It's his doctor.
Dr. Roberts.

Oh, his doctor.

Well, if he's that sick, why
doesn't he go to a hospital?

What a big nose
you have, grandma.

All the better not to like
the smell of Mr. Grasselli.

Oh, I didn't mean that.

But why does he stay
in his room all the time?

Who's he hiding from?

He's not hiding.

The poor man's trying
to get a rest cure.

Doesn't look like
he's got much chance.

Is he a good friend
of yours?

Yep.

Gonna help me
get my music published

if I ever get the chance
to do any more writing.

That's funny.

I never heard of an impresario
called Grasselli.

A lot of things
you haven't heard of.

Now, go away
and let me work!

It's a pleasure!

[piano music plays]

Still here?

You can't make me mad.

No, not as long as you can
think up another question.

[chuckles]
No, no more questions.

I, uh... I thought
you might give me an idea

of one of your songs.

Sure.

Didn't think
you were interested.

Sweet singing Susan!
Where did you learn to do that?

Haven't you ever heard
about genius?

Well, can you imagine
the real thing?

It's all written out
and everything.

Oh, Tommy, I didn't know
you were so smart.

Where'd you learn
to write music?

One of the things I picked up
wandering around.

Oh, that's wonderful.
Have you got any more?

Too many. Look.

Uh, maybe you'd give me a crack
at singing one of them, huh?

- Since when do you sing?
- I've always sung.

Oh, yeah, I remember,
you and Miss Minnie's cats.

Well, if you could stand
the cats, you can stand me.

I wish I had a comic number,
because I've got an idea

that's the way
it's gonna turn out.

There's one.

"'Angel in Disguise.'

Words and music
by Tommy Taylor."

[lively music plays]

No, play lower.

- [music plays in lower key]
- No, still lower.

- [music stops]
- Say, what key do you sing in?

Well, look, you play it
in the key you like,

and I'll sing it
in the key I like,

and we'll see
how it sounds.

Wish I had four hands —

two to play the piano
and two to hold my ears.

Move over, mister.

[music resumes in lower key]

"You're just
an angel in disguise...

"wandered down
from up above.

You're just
a heavenly surprise.

Who came to earth
for me to love."

[both humming]

♪ It's more than thrilling ♪

♪ It leaves me shy ♪

[humming]

- ♪ I'm more than willing ♪
- [whistling]

♪ To teach
my timid heart to fly ♪

♪ I simply don't know
what to do ♪

♪ I'm not accustomed
to these things ♪

♪ Perhaps the smartest
thing to do ♪

♪ Is take the scissors
to your — ♪

[wrong note plays]

[chuckles]
Try it again.

♪ Is take the scissors
to your wings ♪

♪ Da-la la-dee
da-da la-da-doe ♪

[whistling]

♪ And you can never ♪

[humming]

♪ I'll have an angel
in disguise ♪

♪ Forever in my arms
to love ♪

[music stops]

Well, how does that stack up

with Miss Minnie's cats?

Hmm, pretty close to a tie.

Tommy, you know, we ought
to team up. We'd be good.

We'd be great...
At starving to death.

No. Now, maybe your friend would
give both of us a break.

What do you say we work up
a couple of numbers?

We could
come down here and —

Lock the doors.

Yes, and soundproof
the walls.

And maybe it'll keep you from
annoying me about Grasselli.

[laughs]
Over again, huh?

- Okay.
- [intro plays]

5" You're just
an angel in disguise A"

5" Who wandered down
from up above A"

5" You're just
a heavenly surprise 5"

♪ Who came to Earth
for me to love a"

I ought to change me dress.

Nonsense.
You look fine.

Oh, isn't that
Mr. Grasselli's lunch?

Oh, she's getting brighter
every day.

Say, what kind
of an egg is he?

Mr. Grasselli isn't an egg.
He's a fine gentleman.

Then why is Tommy
scared of him?

Why, I never heard
such an idea.

Something's very fishy!

- Are you both going in?
- Yeah.

- Goody. Me too.
- Oh, I don't think he'd like it.

Well, the three of us could
do up his room in no time.

That's the first time
I've ever heard you

volunteer to do housework.

I'm a changed woman,
full of the spirit of service.

You're full of what
killed the cat. Scat!

Scat!

Yeah, who is it?

[Nora]
Mrs. Taylor. Lunch!

Come in.

[door closes]

Who's that?

It's just Mrs. Ryan,
my partner.

She couldn't stand it
any longer.

-I thought I told you —
-Pleased to meet you.

I brought you up a special
beef broth I made

to help build up
your strength.

Well, nobody's gonna be sick
in any house where I'm cook.

Yeah, well,
I don't like beef broth.

Well, you're
going to eat it.

Who says so?

Now, don't get tough
with me, young man.

If I handled Miss Minnie's
old gentleman,

I can handle you.

Take that cigar out.

Take it out!

Here, taste this.

Please, Mr. Grasselli.

Now, don't be making faces.

No invalid yet liked anything
that would do him good.

- Swallow.
- Please.

[gulps]

[exhales sharply]

Now I got two mothers.

You've been mending
that curtain for a week.

Don't he ever
leave his room?

Only to go
to the bathroom.

And then he's nothing
but something in a bathrobe

with a hat
pulled over his face.

Oh.

[door closes]

[water runs]

[dramatic music plays]

Well...

If it ain't Sal.

So, Mr. Grasselli
is Chips Maguire.

I was kind of dumb
not to have guessed it.

I've been shadowed before,
but this is the first time

I ever been ambushed
in the bathroom.

I just had to find out
what Tommy's gotten himself

- messed up with.
- Well, now you know.

Yeah, I had a hunch
it would be something

that could get us all
into trouble.

Trouble's one thing I can dish
out when people ask for it.

And that goes for dames
that see too much.

Oh, save that pushing around
for your dopey gorillas.

This is me
you're talking to.

How is Tommy
mixed up with you?

- Why don't you ask him?
- I will.

Wait a minute, Sal.

[chuckles]

Now you know it's me,

will you come in
and talk to me sometime?

- Why?
- I'm going daffy.

If it ain't
a roomful of mothers

peeking behind my ears
to see if I washed,

it's them — them monkeys
hanging on the wall.

They're beginning
to make faces at me.

Why don't you make faces
right back,

scare them to death?

- Tommy.
- What were you doing in there?

Scrubbing Maguire's back.
What do you think?

Come in here!

You needn't
get so rough.

Now you've done it — spoiled
everything with your spying.

I haven't
spoiled anything.

Just cleared up the situation,
that's all.

Oh, sure.

Tommy...

Are you in trouble?

- What'd he tell you?
- Nothing.

This makes twice you've
been told the same thing.

Tommy...

I'm just trying
to sell you a friend, mister.

I've got a friend.

Grasselli.

Look, Tommy...

You don't have to tell me
anything you don't want to,

but if you'll take me
in off your doorstep,

I'll be grateful.

Well, I've been working
for Chips.

Doing what?

- Playing piano in the nightclub.
- Oh.

Then he got in a jam, and he
had to have a place to live.

I was only
trading him a favor

for the break
he was gonna give me.

Doing what,
toasting in the chair?

No, getting my music
published.

He has influence
with everybody that counts.

You poor baby lamb.

Don't you know a runaround
when you see it?

I know gorillas
like Chips Maguire.

I know what kind
of a pal he'd be.

He gives you promises
as long as he can use you

and then forgets
all about you.

We'll throw him out on
the street where he belongs!

- You can't do that!
- Why not?

Well, maybe you're right.

As long as you brought him here
and the damage is done,

a little while longer
can't make it any worse.

And while we've got him here,
we might as we" use him.

[Maggie singing indistinctly]

Mmm! What's all the excitement
today? Somebody's birthday?

- Ah!
- [chuckles]

Tommy, can you
keep a secret?

Mr. Grasselli's coming down
to dinner tonight.

Mr. Grasselli's
doing what?

And don't you say
I said so.

[fork clangs]

Now, what does he want
to do that for?

[bell dings]

Hurry.
There's the dinner gong.

I ain't so hot
on this idea.

Oh, stop being
a scaredy-pants.

What's wrong with meeting
a few old boarders?

They're nice people.

What's that?

[chuckles]

Why, it must be a token
from Miss Flint.

- A what from who?
- Miss Flint. [laughs]

I've been wondering why
she suddenly stopped imagining

being chased home by men.

All of her life, she's waited

for her one big moment,
and it looks like you're it.

Now I know
I ain't goin' down.

Oh, look, you can't disappoint
ma and Mrs. Taylor.

They're counting on you.

What do I care what a couple of
old hens have been counting on?

Well, would you —
would you do it for me?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.
I'd do it for you.

Shall we have coffee
in the parlor?

Why, of course,
Mrs. Taylor.

What would Miss Minnie think
if we had coffee anywhere else?

Then we can give Mr. Grasselli
his surprise.

What do you mean, surprise?

Oh, a nice one, to celebrate
your first night out.

That is,
if everyone is willing.

It was Sarah Jane's idea.

Mr. Grasselli,
you'll be astonished

how much talent we have
in this house.

Every now and then, we give a
regular vaudeville performance.

Mr. Salmon
reads his poetry.

Oh, no, no.
I couldn't, really.

Really.

The third poem which
I should like to read to you

belongs to the village period
of my career —

those golden days
when life was free and zestful,

and when, as a consequence,

my work took on the overtones
of harsh, animal beauty.

It is called
"Complaint to Venus."

[clears throat]

"Complaint to Venus."

[piano plays intro]

"Oh, Venus, born of warm
and languorous seas,

"Bliss and torment
of men and gods,

"Lifted full budded
from the breasted wave.

"Oh, cruel enchantress,
what is your desire?

"Your pulse a pounding surf,

"Your form the undulance
of ocean swells.

"You are too divine not
to have dipped your silver prow

"In love's
most hurricane stream.

What is your desire?"

To get out of here.

"One moon-drenched hour
upon a kelped craig,

"In fretful slumber
I dreamed I was a wave

"About your cradled shell,

"Tossing on Neptune's
restless ways,

rippling 'round
your pearly fairness."

[chuckles]

"Rippling 'round
your pearly fairness."

He just said that.

"Distilling
from your shining hair

to run in amorous rillets
down each..."

- That's mush.
- Hush.

"...raptured charm.

Ah, this was sweet desire."

Isn't he wonderful?

Oh. [chuckles]

I'm glad that's over.

Mr. Salmon,
that was beautiful.

That was exquisite.

Would you mind doing
the whole thing again?

Oh, not at all.
Gladly.

Because I have to go and
prepare my act in the meantime.

- Thank you.
- "Oh, Venus" —

Wait a minute.
Fanto, come.

"Oh, Venus, born of warm
and languorous seas,

bliss and torment
of men and gods..."

[piano fanfare plays]

Ladies and gentlemen,
the great Boldini!

[applause]

Ladies and gentlemen...

[laughing]

- Please!
- [stops laughing]

Ladies and gentlemen...
[clears throat]

...I regret very much

that I have not my troupe
of six Roman dancing girls

here to assist me

and that the stage is too small

for an entertainment
worthy of the great Boldini.

However, we shall do our best,

and I take pleasure
to introduce to you Fanto,

the world's greatest wonder dog.

[applause,
piano fanfare plays]

[laughter]

Please, sir, remember,
Fanto is just my stooge.

I am the great Boldini.

Thank you.

Poor old Boldini
with his moth-eaten tricks.

Professor?

[music plays]

I'm going to prepare
an omelet —

an omelet that is, uh —

an omelet [clears throat]
in this pan.

I take an egg...

Break it.

Take another egg...

Break it, too.

[sniffs, clears throat]

Take some pepper.

Salt.

Stir it.

[stirring]

Take a match.

Ha ha.

[applause]

[Chips laughs]

Get a load of Fanto!

[applause continues]

That's the smartest pooch
I've ever seen.

Wonderful dog.
Clever dog.

And don't forget
you're just a stooge.

I'll talk to you later.

[laughter]

Um, your attention,
please.

I'm going to perform
my most sensational trick

without the assistance of Fanto.

And this, I regret to say...

will conclude my performance.

[laughs]
Say, that guy's terrific.

Please.
Professor.

I'm going to produce an enormous
bowl of live goldfish

out of the very thin air.

And I'm demonstrating to you

that there's nothing
hidden or concealed

about my cape,
my costume, my body,

or whatever it may be.

Are you ready?

Yeah, go ahead.

Watch closely.

Watch closely.

Watch closely.

[laughter]

Fanto!

[laughter continues]

[knock on door]

- [Mr. Boldini whimpering]
- Mr. Boldini?

Mr. Boldini!

Oh, don't feel so bad.

Why, you were
a great success.

It wasn't meant
to be that way at all.

That stooge!

Oh, you're taking it
all the wrong way.

Why, Mr. Grasselli said

that was the funniest act
he'd ever seen.

[Mr. Boldini groans]

Oh, please be a good sport
and come on down.

Tommy and I are
going to do our act

as soon as I change
my costume.

No, never again.

Never again.

Ladies and gentlemen,
everybody seems

to be writing
gaucho songs these days,

so I whipped up
a little hot tamale myself

called
"The Gaucho Serenade."

[lively music plays]

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ Every... ♪

♪ Night when the moon
is shining bright ♪

♪ Down in Rio de Janeiro ♪

♪ Comes a gent
with a mellow instrument ♪

♪ And a colorful sombrero ♪

♪ Then he sings ♪

♪ And the melody he brings
so tenderly played ♪

♪ Is called a gaucho ♪

♪ Serenade ♪

♪ La, la-la-la,
la-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La la ♪

♪ Si, senor ♪

♪ He's a happy troubadour,
in the patio you'll find him ♪

♪ Si, senor, he will go
from door to door ♪

♪ Leaving happiness
behind him ♪

♪ All the sweet senoritas
hurry out to join the parade ♪

♪ And hear the gaucho ♪

♪ Serenade ♪

♪ La, la-la-la,
la-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La la ♪

[interlude plays]

♪ Si, senor ♪

♪ He's a happy troubadour,
in the patio you'll find him ♪

♪ Si, senor, he will go
from door to door ♪

♪ Leaving happiness
behind him ♪

♪ All the sweet senoritas
hurry out to join the parade ♪

♪ And hear the gaucho ♪

♪ Serenade ♪

♪ Ay, yi-yi-yi,
yi-yi-yi, yi-yi-yi ♪

♪ Yi yi ♪

[humming]

♪ The gaucho ♪

♪ Serenade ♪

[humming]

♪ The gaucho ♪

♪ Serenade ♪

[applause]

[humming]

It's certainly nice
of you, Mr. Grasselli,

to take poor
Mr. Boldini's place.

Now you're one of us.

Yeah.
Nice, ain't it?

Hey, them kids have been gone
a long time.

Well, you know how it is
with young people in love.

You know what I told you
about them.

You see? It's all
beginning to come true.

[Chuckles]

Sorry, ladies, I'm out.

Well, that's another game
for Mr. Grasselli.

- Have a peanut.
- Have one yourself.

Well, you should be glad
that Maguire liked our act.

We went over big.

Didn't you see him
light up like a torch?

Mm-hmm.

Well, you can't expect him
to show his appreciation of you

- the same way he does of me.
- That's right.

Then, what are you
sore about?

I told you to stay away
from that monkey.

Yeah, and you told me
he promised to help you,

but I don't see him
doing it.

Look, Tommy, if you'll
just let me handle him,

maybe I can get us
the break we need.

Maybe you can,
if you want it that bad.

Thanks.

Tommy.

Tommy!

I'm sorry, Tommy.
I'm sorry.

But trying to help you
is like trying

to lift the Empire State
Building with one hand.

Nobody asked you to help me.

Maybe someday you'll tell me

what they did to you
in just five years

to make you act like this.

My goodness, Mr. Grasselli,

I can't get over the wonderful
way you shuffle and deal.

Your friend Grasselli's
waiting up for you.

- Good night, Tommy.
- Good night.

Well, how's
everything going?

Come around here
and bring me luck.

He really
doesn't need it.

Did you teach Mr. Grasselli
how to play?

Mr. Grasselli
learned rather quickly.

Mr. Grasselli has won
every game except one.

Beginner's luck.

We've made him
the croupier

because he deals
so much better than any of us.

Well, should we make this
the last one?

Oop. Clumsy of me.

Ahh.
Afraid I've won again.

I've never seen
anything like it.

- Neither have I.
- [doorbell buzzes]

I'll answer it.

Thank you.

Ma, why is the bank
writing you and Mrs. Taylor?

The bank?
Well, how do I know?

Where did I leave
me glasses?

- I'll read it for you.
- Oh, no, I —

Well, you might
as well know.

"Ladies, this is
to give you a last warning

"that unless past-due taxes
on your property

"amounting to $1,189.64

"are paid
by the last deadline tomorrow,

"we shall be forced

"to immediately begin
foreclosure proceedings.

Yours very —"

Gee.

Well...

Now you know.

Not that it's
any of your business.

Well, it is if they're
going to take the place away.

Well, they're not.
Miss Minnie left it to us.

And no bank's going to
take it away from us.

They can't.

What would happen
to Mr. Van Diver and Miss Flint

and Mr. Boldini?

Ah, sure as Nora says,
something will turn up.

The only thing I can see turning
up is a process server.

Oh, gee, mom.

I'm sorry.
I shouldn't be making cracks.

I haven't made it
any easier for you,

living off you
and borrowing money.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, I didn't.

And don't you
tell Tommy, now.

Nora don't want
to have him worried.

Somebody's got to worry.

Maybe it's me.

Gee, it'd seem kind of funny
to have responsibilities.

[clicking]

[knock on door]

Yeah? Who is it?

[Sarah Jane] me.

Oh. Come in!

Come on in.
Close the door.

Unh-unh.
Better not.

Ma will start worrying
about purgatory.

- Where is she?
- She won't disturb us.

I, uh, hope you don't mind
my coming in like this.

- Well, I invited you, didn't I?
- I mean, so late.

Why should I?
Sit down.

You know,
I've been wanting a chance

to talk to you
all evening.

I thought you was
high-hattin' me, but now I see.

I came up here
to tell you something.

Well, wait a minute, baby.

I want to tell you
something first.

You know, I've seen you
around Broadway for years,

but to me, you were just Sal —

a showgirl who was always
getting herself in a jam.

But tonight,
you opened my eyes.

You got me all hopped up,

and I'm gonna do
something about it.

You got talent, baby.

You can go places
if you're handled right.

Now — now, what was it
you wanted to tell me?

That of all the cheap crooks
I've ever met,

you are the lowest.

What do you mean?

Palming the cards in a game
with a lot of old women.

Who was palming cards?

You were pulling them from every
place but Miss Flint's ears.

- I saw you.
- Oh.

Well, so what?

I can have a couple of laughs,
can't I?

We wasn't playing
for any money.

Be bad enough if you were
taking their money.

You're taking their fun
away from them.

That's all they have left.

Oh.

Yeah, I never
thought of that.

I got to have a little fun
myself, don't I?

I guess it's kind of
a habit with me.

Every time I get a deck
of cards in my hand —

That's all I came to tell you.
Good night, Mr. Grasselli.

Well, wait a minute, Sal.
Wait a minute.

Say, uh...

You ain't gonna
tell them, are you?

- Te|| who?
- The old ladies.

Don't tell me you'd care.

Well, no, I wouldn't,
but they might.

Do you really want
to square yourself?

- With you, too?
- Mm-hmm.

- Sure. How?
- Well, the old girls are broke.

They're going to lose the house

if something isn't done
about it.

Oh.

How much is the Shakedown?

$1,189.64.

[Chuckles]
64 cents, huh?

Taxes due tomorrow.

I thought you was talking
about real money.

Okay, baby,
I'll be your sucker.

That's a dangerous promise.

Now, wait a minute.
Don't hurry away like that.

I got an idea.

I just bet you have.

On the level. I got it when
I was downstairs tonight.

It's about the old ladies.

Now, the tax money's only
postponing their troubles.

This joint's got to be put
on a paying basis.

Yes, but how?

Well, by opening
a nightclub.

- You mean here?
- Sure.

A new kind of a joint, see?

I kind of liked the atmosphere
when I was down there tonight.

Now, we can keep
some of the furniture

and the curtains
and things like that

and keep that old-fashioned,
homey feeling.

Feed them
some of your ma's cooking,

and they'll rave about it
and pay 10 prices for it.

We'll keep it small,
exclusive, and expensive.

Put a little dance floor in

where the parlor
and the dining room are

and entertain the customers
with acts

and with that "Bolgoni" guy
like he was tonight,

and you and Tommy singing
three or four songs.

Why, it's a natural.

And you get a hearing.

Can you imagine ma and
Mrs. Taylor running a nightclub?

Ah, they wouldn't be running it.
I would.

And I even got an idea for
a name — "The Roaring 903."

What's the angle, Chips?

Oh, because I'm going nuts
in this monkey cage, that's why.

I got to have action!

Are you sure
that's all of it?

Well...

Maybe yes and maybe no.

Well, what's the rest?

Don't tell me you've gone soft
for ma and Mrs. Taylor.

Would you believe it
if I did?

Well, if you've got any ideas
about you and me,

I wouldn't advise you
to let your mind dwell on them.

[laughs]

The come-on
without a promise, eh?

You're terrific, Sal.

Well, skip it, sweetheart.
We'll talk about that later on.

- What about the nightclub?
- I'll talk it over with Tommy.

All of it?
Including you and me?

Don't get ahead of yourself.

♪ While strolling
through the park one day ♪

♪ Boom, boom ♪

♪ In the merry, merry
month of may ♪

♪ Boom, boom ♪

♪ I was taken by surprise
by a pair of laughing eyes ♪

All right, Chips, this room's
been rented to another boarder.

Pack your things
and get out.

You must have been out
in the sun, Tommy.

- You're all heated up.
- No cracks. You heard me.

I said it was a stinking idea
when you made me bring you here,

but at least you promised to
slip in and stay in your room.

But you wouldn't be satisfied
with that.

You had to
poke your nose downstairs,

and the minute you laid
your eyes on Sarah Jane...

Well, ain't you the sentimental
little songwriter?

Some lyrics.

"My childhood sweetheart."

Listen, Tommy,
you ain't kids any longer.

Kids grow up.
Sal's been around.

She's old enough
to do what she wants.

You gonna go, or do I have to
throw you out?

I wouldn't be so tough with me
if I was you,

considering the setup.

Maybe you better go over
in the corner and count 10.

I'm way above 10!

I tell you, I'm gonna crack
this thing wide open.

I can trump every card
in your hand,

because I don't care anymore
what happens to me,

and you do care
what happens to you.

Ah, cool off, Tommy.

There's a lot of things you
don't know anything about.

Yeah? What?

Well, your old lady
and Mrs. Ryan are broke.

Didn't you know that?

- What do you mean?
- Yeah, it's on the level.

They're all gonna
be thrown out in the street

unless something's
done about it.

I had to advance them
enough money

to keep the mortgage
from being foreclosed.

You don't care how you tie
a guy's hands, do you?

Don't give up hope, Tommy.

Maybe the old girls
won't stand for the idea.

And besides, what would
poor Miss Minnie think,

heaven rest her soul,

with people drinking
and cavorting in her parlor?

I'm sure poor Miss Minnie
would feel a lot worse

having her furniture
auctioned off

to just anybody
who came along.

Maybe it'll work out fine,
Maggie. I'll bet —

Wait a minute.
Now, there you go again.

Getting that look
in your eyes.

You've begun to make up
a story about it already.

How did you know?

Oh, I haven't lived with you
for 40 years for nothing.

Already you see yourself
branching out

into a whole chain
of nightclubs,

providing luxury
for all the boarders,

and Sarah Jane there, huh,
maybe becoming an opera star,

Tommy a famous composer,

driving up
in a big gas buggy

with a cut-glass light
in the top.

Maybe that's just how
it would work out.

- Sure, ma.
- Now, in here's the kitchen.

Oh, I beg your pardon
for butting in.

Henry, here's
your future bosses.

This is Mrs. Ryan,
Mrs. Taylor.

- You know Miss Ryan.
- Hi, Pepi.

This is Mr. Henri
Pepi De Bordeaux.

Mr. Who?

[French accent]
Henri Pepi De Bordeaux!

- A heathen, huh?
- A heathen?

[speaking
indistinctly]

[Sarah Jane]
Ma, he's a headwaiter.

Yes, he is, Mrs. Ryan,

and the best in the business.

Well, Henri, think you can turn
this place into a nightclub?

What kind of place you want,

a high-class clip joint
or a dirty dump?

A dirty dump?

Now, we'll go into
details later.

Now, how will this do
for the kitchen?

It won't do at all!

The first thing we do —
we pull out this old stove

and put in three big, new ones.

Then we tear out
this whole wall.

[laughing,
speaking French]

Very funny, indeed!

Of course, this is beautiful.

We leave that.

[Speaking French]

You see what we do?

We tear the whole business out
and put in a new kitchen.

Nobody's gonna push out walls

or touch Miss Minnie's stove
or nothing in this kitchen!

Ma, calm down!

Calm down yourself and take
this big heathen out of here!

Heathen? You hear that?
- Yes, I heard it.

You're perfectly right,
Mrs. Ryan.

This kitchen stays
exactly as it is.

-But, boss, please —
-Exactly as it is!

In here, Mrs. Ryan is queen,
do you understand?

I understand,
but I don't like it.

- And I don't like you!
- Oh, I'm crazy for you!

- Ah!
- No, no, no!

That's enough, Henri.
Come on.

Thanks very much
for dropping in.

All right.
Goodbye.

- And boo!
- Boo, yourself.

Nice girl.

[shudders]

Pushing out walls —

him and his three new stoves,
that big heathen.

I'm sorry Henri got you
all excited, Mrs. Ryan.

It's all right, Mr. Grasselli.
It wasn't your fault.

Come on, ma. How about
Mr. Grasselli's plan?

It's wonderful,
and to think

you're doing it
for Maggie and me.

What do you say, ma?

Won't say no,
and I won't say yes

until I've talked it over
with Father McGuffey.

Well, if you think
it's all right, father.

If it's a nice place where
people can get a bite to eat

and be entertained
the way Sarah Jane says,

I don't see
any harm in it.

What are you doing, Nora?

I'm lighting 3
"Thanks for a kind deed" candle

for Mr. Grasselli.

I tell you, Father McGuffey,

he's the kindest man
that ever lived.

Of all the crazy ideas.

You make this your hideout,

then turn it into a nightclub
and invite the whole world in.

Yeah, well, I got to have
something to do or I'll go nuts.

I ain't gonna show myself.
I'll stay right in this room.

And if I get in a jam,
I'll make the kid take the rap.

[Miss Flint]
It's Grasselli!

It is.

Oh!

Oh! Ohh!

Oh, dear.

Oh, my.

Ohh!

Oh!

Thanks a lot, doc.
I'll see you soon.

I still think
you better take my advice

and not overtax your strength,
Mr. Grasselli.

Remember, you're not
out of the woods yet.

Oh. Mr. Grasselli!
I've just got to see you.

If it's about Sarah Jane's
costume, talk to her.

Oh, no, it's about you.

Maybe we better go in your room.

Someone might hear.

Oh, no, you don't.

Oh, yes, I do.

- Hey, what's biting you anyway?
- I've got an idea.

- I've got a notion.
- Yeah, I'll bet you have.

Hey, Miss Flint,
why don't you go downstairs

and finish your knittin'?

♪ I know something ♪

♪ I won't tell ♪

♪ Mum as a nut
in a peanut Shell ♪

What's the matter
with you?

Uh, don't you think
you better close the door?

Nothing doing.

But I know
who you really are.

You what?

I found you
in The Perfect Detective.

There's lots
of pictures of you.

Mostly hats and elbows,

but here's one when you were a
little boy in a reform school.

Here, let me see that.

That ain't me.
You made a mistake.

Oh, no, I haven't.
I know.

Even then, your eyes
were cruel and masterful,

Chips Maguire.

I tell you, that ain't me!
My name's Grasselli.

Oh, no, it isn't, Chipsy.

You call me that again,
and I'll —

Oh, you're wonderful!

- You're nuts!
- Oh, no, I'm not.

All my life, nothing
has ever happened to me.

Any minute now...

And now
I'm under the same roof

with a fugitive
from justice.

And to think
you're my prisoner —

my very own prisoner.

Oh, I think I'll burst.

I hope you do.

Oh, I know a gangster.
[gasps]

Chips, it's all set
with the church.

- Yeah? Well, it just came unset.
- What's the matter?

Nutsy Flint. She knows who I am.

Oh, how could she?

Why didn't you tell me
she reads crime stories?

- Well, I didn't know.
- Well, now we both know.

- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gettin' out of here.

Oh, Chips, look,
you can't do that now.

Maybe I can fix it
so she's harmless.

At least you got to give me
a chance to go to work on her.

Yeah? How?

I don't know.
I'll think of something.

This is an exact duplicate

of one of the most beautiful
dresses I ever made

for poor Miss Minnie.

[grunts] Miss Flint,
what's the matter with you?

Why are you so excited?

Oh, I am excited.
It's about a secret.

- What secret?
- Oh, I can't tell.

Still, I'm afraid
I'm going to have to.

I'm just bursting.

17".

It's someone that you know.
Now, don't ask me who.

Someone right in this house.

Isn't it awful what still
goes on in New York?

I see by the paper they've
bumped off another squealer.

Oh, really?
What's a squealer?

Well, squealing means
telling things you know.

- You mean, secrets?
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, dear.
- Just listen to this.

"Workers on the north river
made a gruesome discover today

"when the shovel of a dredge
dumped onto the dock

"a barrel containing
the body of a man

"who'd been tortured and
his body placed in the barrel,

which was then filled
with liquid cement."

Oh, that's awful.

"The body was in remarkable
state of preservation,

owing to the cement,
which shut out all air."

- Isn't that terrible?
- Oh, it's horrible.

Oh, that isn't the worst.

"An autopsy showed
the victim had been tortured

"Before being killed.

"About the neck,
there still remained the wire

with which
he had been garroted."

What's garroted?

Death
by slow strangulation.

I — I don't
feel very well.

I — oh.

I — oh.

Oh, it affects me
the same way, too, dear,

but there's worse.

"It is believed
that Little Dopey

"talked too much and let slip
a clue to the police

"by which a gangster
was arrested.

"The body was identified
by certain dental work.

"The gold teeth for which
Little Dopey was famous

"had been wrenched
from his jaws,

probably while
he was still alive."

Do you want to see
a picture of the barrel?

- No! No!
- Where are you going?

I — I don't feel
very well.

- I think I'll lie down.
- But we haven't finished.

Another time.

Oh. Uh, Chips.

I mean, Mr. Grasselli.
Hello.

[footsteps on stairs]

Poor Miss Flint.

Hey, what's the matter with
nutsy? What'd you do to her?

I just scared
the pants off her.

She won't talk now.
You can relax.

[Intro to "The Daughter
of Rosie O'Grady" plays]

♪ She's the daughter
of Rosie O'Grady ♪

♪ A regular
old-fashioned girl ♪

♪ She isn't crazy
for diamond rings ♪

♪ Silkens and satins
and fancy things ♪

♪ She's just
a sweet little lady ♪

♪ And when you meet her,
you'll see ♪

♪ Why I'm glad I call her
the daughter of Rosie O'Grady ♪

Right this way,
Mrs. Taylor.

I have a special table reserved
for you and your party.

Thank you.

Mrs. Taylor...

Who are all these
strange people?

They frighten me.

I guess they let New Yorkers
come, Mr. Van Diver.

Miss Minnie
won't like them.

It doesn't seem
quite the same as it did

when I was making up
the story.

Where is Miss Minnie's
picture?

I brought you down here,
Miss Minnie.

I wouldn't want you
to be upstairs,

watching that shindig
going on up there.

[speaking French]

Oh, mama! Step on it.
We are jammed to the rafters.

- I'll jam your rafters.
- You're sweet!

[indistinct arguing]

- Compliments of Mr. Grasselli.
- Oh, dear.

I have never tasted
Champagne before.

Maybe it'll be good
for my nerves.

Oh. Ha.

[knock on door]

Yeah, come in.

How's it going?

Wonderful, sir.
Everybody's here.

- That's great. You sure?
- So far.

- Keep me posted.
- Yes, sir.

I'm going crazy
up in this room.

Oh, my friends,
make yourself at home.

Mr. Grasselli
told me to tell you

everything is on the house.

Oh, pardon.

Garcon!
[speaking French]

[laughs]
Another bottle of Champagne.

[drunkenly] I think I'll have
a teensy-weensy bit more.

Oh, Mrs. Taylor, I'm so nervous
I think I'm going crazy.

Every time I leave the house,
I'm followed.

Are young men following
you again, Miss Flint?

Oh, not young men,
but awful rough individuals —

gangsters who want
to take me for a ride.

Why in the world
should gangsters

want to take you
for a ride?

Oh, don't ask me, Mrs. Taylor.
Don't ask me.

I — oh — hmm.

Oh, Garcon!

The wine.
I guess he forgot.

[applause]

[fanfare plays]

Ladies and gentlemen!

[cheers and applause]

Welcome to the Roaring 903.

We are going to open

our extravagant extravaganza

with those four lady killers...

And snappy songs.

[laughter]

And here they are now!

[applause]

[Intro to "Pretty Baby" plays]

♪ Memories ♪

♪ Memories ♪

♪ Dreams of long ago ♪

♪ Everybody loves a baby ♪

♪ That's why
I'm in love with you ♪

♪ Pretty baby, pretty baby ♪

♪ Every morning,
every evening ♪

♪ Ain't we got fun? ♪

♪ Haven't money,
gee, but, honey ♪

♪ Ain't we got fun? ♪

♪ So say what you will ♪

♪ It's always a thr-i-i-ill ♪

- [laughter]
- ♪ In my ♪

♪ Memories ♪

♪ My memories ♪

[music playing in distance]

Yeah, come in.

Have you seen Tommy?

Say, now, that's
a bit of all right.

I said have you seen Tommy?

How could I see anything
cooped up in this room?

I can't find him.
I've looked all over the house.

- He'll turn up.
- I'm not so sure.

He's been acting funny
all day.

You ought to be thinking
about me tonight

instead of that punk kid.

I've got to have
a piano player.

-Boss —
-Get out.

No, wait a minute.
What is it?

It's the magician.
He says he won't go on.

Who, Boldini?

He says they laughed
at his last act,

and he won't be laughed at.

Oh, he won't
be laughed at, huh?

Chips, you're not
going downstairs!

Yeah, I got to fix Boldini.
I'll stay out of sight.

But you promised
you'd stay up here.

Now, don't worry
about me, baby.

I got myself covered both ways
from the middle.

[fanfare plays]

[Boldini] I won't go,
and I won't be laughed at!

I won't —
I won't be laughed at!

Boldini! That's all the act is,
is a laugh act.

Now, I know it's hard
for a ham to play a ham,

but that's all you are —
a broken-down ham magician.

Now, go on out there
and do your stuff.

Hate to push the old guy
around like that,

but the only time he's funny
is when he's mad,

and the madder he is,
the funnier he gets.

He should be very funny.
He's mad enough.

Go on.

[cheers and applause]

[laughter]

Poor Mr. Boldini.
They're laughing at him again.

And poor Miss Flint.

Ha! Huh!

Don't you think
you've had enough, dear?

- Mrs. Taylor, go away.
- Oh, my dear.

Drink your own.

Oh!

I can't stand it.

I told you
not to drink so much.

You got that barrel
and the cement ready?

- And get plenty of wire.
- [man] Huh?

Ohh! Ohh! I —

[DoD]

Ohh! I can't stand it!
I got to go!

Well, hurry back, or you'll
miss Tommy and Sarah Jane.

[mumbling]

Oh. Oh, my. Oh, dear.

Take me to the nearest
police station.

[driver] Yes, ma'am.

Handkerchief.

This is a handkerchief.

And...

Sit down, stooge.

Thank you.

[laughter]

[bell ringing]

[applause]

Lock me up.
You got to lock me up.

Now, take it easy, lady.

We can't put you in jail
if you ain't done nothing.

You got to lock me up!
I'm a citizen.

I got a right
to be locked up.

Look, lady,
we're overcrowded here.

We can't just take in
anybody who comes in.

Oh, please, judge,
look me up.

He's gonna have me bumped off
because I know too much.

He's got the barrel
and cement all ready.

[hiccups]
Oh, I'm sorry, judge.

Now, just a minute.

I think you had a little bit
too much to drink.

A little sleep
will fix you up all right.

I'll have Officer Pinkis here
take you home,

and you can have a nice little
snooze and sleep it off.

You'll feel all right.

All right, lady.
All right.

Isn't he sweet?

Oh, not there!
Not home!

I can't go home!
He's there!

- Who's there?
- Grasselli!

He's gonna have
my teeth pulled out

and put me in a barrel
and stuff me with cement

- and throw me in the river!
- Who's "he"?

I can't tell, judge.
I can't tell. Don't!

I'm going to produce an enormous
bowl of live goldfish...

[laughter]

...out of the very thin air.

Watch closely.

Excuse me just a minute.

[laughter]

Watch closely.

The hands are quicker
than the eyes.

[laughter]

I don't know why I'm here,
but here I am.

- Where's Miss Flint?
- She'll be right back.

Lady, will you please be nice
and leave us alone?

We like our hoosegow.
It's just like home to us.

Oh, dear.
I've told you and told you.

You've got to lock me up!

She's enough to make a fella
appreciate his mother-in-law.

Won't you listen to me?
Mr. Grasselli is —

Yes, I know. He's gonna put you
in a barrel of cement,

and he's gonna drop you
in the river.

But there ain't
no Mr. Grasselli!

What's going on here,
sergeant?

Nothing, Danny.
Nothing at all.

Just that this dame here
wants us to put her in the clink

because she's got some kind of
a bug in the back of her bean

that some gangster by the name
of Grasselli is chasing her.

Grasselli, eh? All right, lady,
what's he look like?

Oh, like
Chips Maguire.

Chips Maguire?

- Did you say Chips Maguire?
- No.

- Where is he?
- I don't know.

- What's he look like?
- Where does he live?

- I don't know!
- Where do you live?

- I don't know.
- What's your name?

I don't know! I don't know!
I don't know! I don't know!

[Intro to "Silver Threads
Among The Gold" plays]

[applause]

♪ Darling, I am growing old ♪

♪ Silver threads
among the gold ♪

♪ Shine upon my brow today ♪

♪ Life is fading fast away ♪

♪ But, my darling,
you will be, will be ♪

♪ Always young and fair to me ♪

♪ Yes, my darling ♪

♪ You will be ♪

♪ Always young and fair to — ♪

♪ Flat foot floogie
with a floy, floy ♪

♪ Flat foot floogie
with a floy, floy ♪

♪ Flat foot floogie
with a floy, floy ♪

♪ Floy doy, floy doy,
floy doy, floy doy ♪

♪ Floy doy, floy doy,
floy doy, floy doy ♪

♪ If you're feeling low-down,
don't know what to do ♪

♪ And you want a showdown ♪

♪ Here's the only dance
for you ♪

♪ Floy doy, floy doy,
floy doy, floy doy ♪

♪ Never order water when
you really haven't taught her ♪

♪ 'Cause it hasn't got a thing
to do with floogie ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ Oh, you beautiful doll ♪

♪ You great big,
beautiful doll ♪

♪ Let me put my arms
about you ♪

♪ I could never live
without you ♪

♪ Oh, you hobble-skirt doll ♪

♪ You hob, hob,
hobble-skirt doll ♪

♪ The lovely ladies used to
hop around till bustles... ♪

Hey, where you been?

Your girlfriend's
been worrying about you.

Been outside, walking off
a case of stage fright.

You better get on back there.
You'll be on soon.

I'm sorry, gentlemen,
but we're all filled up.

Enjoying yourself,
Maguire?

Oh, hello, Danny.

Didn't you boys see
the sign outside —

"Formal dress only"?

Well, where you're going,
everybody dresses the same way.

- Come on.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I got a personal interest
in this show.

I think it's pretty cute.

How's about waiting
till it's over?

Why?

Well, when it's over,
I might turn up something

that would be very interesting
to you boys.

Might help you to find out

that Chips Maguire ain't
the guy you want at all.

Yeah, and it might not.

Yeah, that's right.
It might not.

What do you got to lose?

Come on, boys.
I'll buy you a bottle of wine.

Just ginger ale.

[laughs]

Just ginger ale.

Okay.

Sit down.
I think you'll like the show.

[lively music playing]

Tommy?

Tommy?

Tommy?

- Yes?
- Where are you?

Over here.

I've been looking
all over the house for you.

Don't you know it's almost
time for us to go on?

Yeah, I know.

Well, what are you
doing up here?

This is our big night.

This is no time
for an argument, Sally.

You name a better one.

Honestly, you make me so mad.

Did you see those two men
sitting at Grasselli's table?

What about them?

They're detectives.

When they leave this house,
I'll be going with them.

Tommy.

Take a good look
at a prize Chump.

When I went
to work for Grasselli,

he had a gun registered
in my name.

He used that gun
in a killing.

But he can't prove
anything.

He can, and he will.

Nice story, I bet,
for a jury.

"The little boy didn't know
what he was doing.

Got mixed up with a gunman just
to get his songs published."

I can hear them
laughing now.

Tommy, I want to help.

There's nothing you can do.

You've been saying that all your
life, and I'm tired of it!

Why don't you just say you don't
want me around and never did?

Because it wouldn't be true.

See that
penthouse up there —

the one with all
the windows and lights?

When I was a kid, I used to come
up here and dream about us.

I picked out that penthouse
for you and me.

I used to hate the people
that lived there

because I felt
they were enjoying something

that really
belonged to you.

Why'd you wait so long
to tell me?

I didn't think
you'd like it,

seeing as I went with it.

Tommy, will you
do me a favor?

Yeah.

Will you throw out
the penthouse and the windows

and all the lights
and everything

except you and me,
and I'll buy your dream?

No.

Doesn't belong to me
anymore.

When I go downstairs,
it'll all be over.

My mother
will have lived to see

one of her stories work out
to a wrong ending,

with villains
and weaklings.

Boy doesn't get girl.

Tommy, there's still time.
You can get away.

No. I started to run away.

Now I've thought it all out.

I've been running away
from myself for five years,

hiding in corners so people
wouldn't see me as I really was.

Now I'm through.

When Grasselli puts the finger
on me, I'll be right here.

Now, you go on downstairs
and put over your song.

Knock 'em dead.

I've got a blind date
with a mess of trouble,

and I'm keeping it alone.

- We're keeping it together.
- Oh, no, we're not.

Look, Tommy, a minute ago,

you called yourself
a prize chump.

I'll go you one better.

Up till now,
we've both been failures,

but we can do one thing.

We can go downstairs
and do our best

for ma and Mrs. Taylor
and all the rest.

Why, for the first time in our
lives, it's waiting for us —

the stage, the audience,
the spotlight.

Oh, let's do it, Tommy.
Let's play some music for once.

And good or bad, I'll love it,
because it's your music.

[sobs]

Sally.

Okay, Sally.

Let's go.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

I take great pleasure

in presenting
the stars of our show...

- Sally.
- Yes, darling?

Knock 'em dead.

... Ryan and Taylor.

[applause]

["Angel in Disguise" plays]

♪ You're just
an angel in disguise ♪

♪ Who wandered down
from up above ♪

♪ You're just
a heavenly surprise ♪

♪ Who came to earth
for me to love ♪

♪ This introduction
to an angel ♪

♪ Is more than thrilling ♪

♪ It leaves me shy ♪

♪ But in as much
as you're an angel ♪

♪ I'm more than willing to
teach my timid heart to fly ♪

♪ I simply don't know
what to do ♪

♪ I'm not accustomed
to these things ♪

♪ Perhaps the smartest thing
to do ♪

♪ Is take the scissors
to your wings ♪

♪ Then I'll be sure
you're mine forever ♪

♪ And you can never
return afar ♪

♪ Do-do-do, do-do ♪

♪ I'll have
an angel in disguise ♪

♪ Forever in my arms to love ♪

♪ This introduction
to an angel ♪

♪ Is more than thrilling ♪

♪ It leaves us shy ♪

♪ But in as much
as you're an angel ♪

♪ Would you be willing to teach
a timid heart to fly? ♪

♪ I simply don't know
what to do I ♪

♪ Don't know what to do ♪

♪ I'm not accustomed
to these things ♪

♪ Not accustomed
to these things ♪

♪ Perhaps the smartest thing
to do ♪

♪ Perhaps the smartest thing
to do ♪

♪ Is take the scissors
to your wings ♪

♪ Take the scissors
to your wings ♪

♪ Then I'll be sure
you're mine forever ♪

♪ And you can never
return afar ♪

♪ Never return ♪

♪ I'll have
an angel in disguise ♪

♪ Forever in my arms to love ♪

♪ You're an angel ♪

♪ In disguise ♪

[cheers and applause]

Ladies and gentleman,

I'm now going to sing
a few old-fashioned songs.

So please join in.
Let's all have some fun.

Everybody sing!

[intro plays]

♪ Oh, Mr. Dooley,
oh, Mr. Dooley ♪

♪ The greatest man
the country ever knew ♪

♪ He's diplomatic
and democratic ♪

♪ Is Mr. Dooley,
ooley ooley ooo ♪

♪ La-la, la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ Oh, Mr. Dooley,
oh, Mr. Dooley ♪

♪ The greatest man
the country ever knew ♪

♪ He's diplomatic
and democratic ♪

♪ Is Mr. Dooley,
ooley ooley ooo ♪

♪ Oh, cuddle up
a little closer ♪

♪ Lovely mine ♪

♪ Cuddle up and be
my little clinging vine ♪

♪ Like to feel
your cheeks so rosy ♪

♪ Like to make you comfy cozy ♪

♪ 'Cause I love
from head to toesy ♪

♪ Lovely mine ♪

♪ Put on your old gray bonnet
with the blue ribbon on it ♪

♪ While I hitch old dobbin
to the shay ♪

♪ And through
the fields of clover ♪

♪ We'll drive up to Dover
on our golden wedding day ♪

♪ Pony boy, pony boy,
won't you be my tony boy? ♪

♪ Don't say no, here we go,
off across the plains ♪

♪ Marry me, carry me,
right away with you ♪

♪ Giddy up, giddy up,
giddy up, whoa! ♪

- ♪ la-la la-la ♪
- ♪ My pony boy ♪

♪ She's just
a sweet, little lady ♪

♪ And when you meet her,
you'll see ♪

♪ Why I'm glad I call her
the daughter of Rosie O'Grady ♪

♪ When Irish eyes are smiling ♪

♪ Sure is like
the mom in spring ♪

♪ In the Hit
of Irish laughter ♪

♪ You can hear
the angels sing ♪

♪ When Irish hearts are happy ♪

♪ All the world
seems bright and gay ♪

♪ And when Irish eyes ♪

♪ Are smiling ♪

♪ Sure, they steal your heart ♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh ♪

[applause]

We won't have to
worry anymore.

Isn't it wonderful?

I don't think Miss Minnie
would mind.

I've got a confession
to make.

I think if she was here,
she'd like it, too.

Maggie.

That kid's all right.

I told you
you'd like the show.

Oh, Mr. Grasselli,
you've made us all so happy.

Huh?

Well, my story —
you've made it all come true.

We won't have to worry
about the bank anymore,

and Tommy and Sarah Jane
are in love.

Yeah, well,
how do you know that?

Didn't you see them?

Couldn't you tell?

Maybe the story
ain't ended yet.

Oh, but it is.
I'm sure of it.

And it's a happy ending.

If I—

If I try to thank you, I'll cry.

I'm afraid
I'm gonna cry anyway.

I'm so happy.

Mr. Grasselli,
you've been so very, very kind.

Hey, what are you doing?

All right, Chips,
show's over.

What?

Yeah, sure.

How's about that stuff
you were gonna show up?

Oh.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

Come on with me.

What is that you were
going to tell us, Chips?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Say, uh —

give me a chance to talk
to these kids, will you?

All right, go ahead.
But don't start anything funny.

Well, Tommy.

All right, Chips.

- You all set, huh?
- Yes, both of us.

You might as well know
that I gave you

the come-on all the time
to play you for a break

for Tommy and me.
We're going to be married,

so you'll have
the satisfaction of knowing

anything you do to him,
you do to me, too.

Quite a change in you two,
ain't there?

Maybe.

Let's get this
over with.

Yes, sir, I wouldn't know you
for the same guy, Tommy.

Personally,
you got my sympathies.

I wouldn't give you two bits for
all the redheads in the world.

Let you know that marriage
is a pretty tough thing.

I wouldn't change
sentences with you

for all the tea in China.

What are you driving at?

I'm gonna take the rap.

Tommy!

Hey, you don't have to
shed no tears over me.

You're the one
that's getting married.

See, Tommy,
the way I figure it,

I ought to have about 125 years
to do for the rackets,

so why should I worry
about 30 or 40 more?

Chips, are you sure
you're not doing this

because you went soft
for ma and Mrs. Taylor?

What, those old hens?

Hey, listen, I once made a crack
that I hate mothers.

That crack still goes.

[detective]
What do you say, Chips?

Well, uh,
goodbye, Tommy.

Don't let nobody ever come
between you and a girlfriend.

Goodbye, Sal.

- Okay boys.
- Chips!

If I ever get out of the clink,
I'll call you up, baby.

Come on, Chips. Come on.
What about that new evidence?

Oh, yeah, that.
Well, I changed my mind.

I ain't talking
till I see my lawyer.

I'm gonna stand
on my constitutional rights.

So long, kids.

[instrumental music plays]