Original subtitles

Mommy, can you put on Justin Bieber?

In a minute, sweetie. I haven't had a chance to tell you where we're going.

Surprise vacation?

It's a surprise playdate.

I've been talking with a nice lady online who coordinates playdates with

that have the same interests as you.

Her name is Hannah, and her and her mommy can't wait to meet you.

This is weird. I don't want to go.

Turn around. Let's go home.

Buddy, Mommy has a new job, and we really need this. So I need you to be a

girl until 6 p .m.

You're going to leave me. Oh, my God. You're going to abandon me here.

Oh, my God. I knew this was going to happen. You're going to drop me off

forever.

Buddy, I'll be back in eight, eight and a half hours, okay?

No.

You abuse your power.

I heard you like Justin Bieber.

Well, we're playing music inside.

And I ordered pizza.

Come on.

Do you want a slice?

Well, I don't like pepperonis or anything like that, John.

It's cheese only.

That's your favorite bunny.

Mm -hmm. Yeah?

I've just had a lot of experience with daughters like ours.

I'm Naomi, by the way.

I'm Elizabeth, but you can call me Liz.

So nice to meet you.

So, I'm guessing you're not her real mom.

We grew up in the same foster home, so I like to think of her as my sister.

I got out relatively unscathed, but Caitlin is... Well, she's Caitlin.

And the doctors just don't really know what to make of her. The latest one

thinks you've got borderline personality disorder.

I've heard that one before.

Borderline. I think it's something more like regressive autism.

But no one can really be sure.

You know, I've talked to a lot of mothers like us, and the doctors really

figure it out.

I quit medicating Caitlin years ago. I think it's best to just think of her as

my permanent...

18 -year -old little girl.

Would you like to come in for a slice?

Maybe a glass of wine.

That sounds great, but I better go. It's my first day.

Okay.

Well, just know that your daughter will be in great hands today.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

No problem.

Well, thank you so much. I've got to go.

Okay. I'll see you at 6.

Maybe I'll save you a slice.

Who are you?

Um, I'm Caitlin.

My mommy just shut me off.

Um, I guess that we're supposed to hang out.

Oh no.

It's only mom.

I only want to hang out with girls my age.

Oh, well, I'm sorry I'm not 40, but, like, I'm pretty cool.

One of those girls that thinks they're teenage.

I'm 18, weirdo.

No, you're not, dork. Take a look in the mirror.

And how old are you supposed to be?

19.

So why don't you get out? I just want to play with girls my age.

Um, I will, gladly.

And thanks for the slice of pizza, not.

Bitch? Who do you think you are?

Well, I think I'm Caitlyn fucking Daniels, and I don't take shit from

especially bullies like you, okay?

Well, you're in my room.

Girl, Dana.

Hi.

Hey, Mommy.

Um, did Penny get all the pizza?

Liar! You did!

I did not!

I didn't do that!

She is so lying, Mom.

You know I don't eat gluten, unless it's a play date.

And you know the rule is only two slices of that tempting but tasty gluten

pizza, right, monkey?

Yeah, but Mom, I don't... Hannah, did I tell you you could have sugar?

Can you drink it? I did not!

Liar! Check her tongue.

Show me your tongue.

Stick it out or you're grounded.

Mm -hmm.

I promise to play real nice with Caitlin.

Yeah. We're already best friends.

Mm -hmm. That's right. And we'll be really quiet, ma 'am. We promise.

Okay.

Maybe Mommy just needs a little time out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we'll be super quiet, ma 'am. I promise.

If I hear any commotion out of either of you, both of you are going in the time

-out room. Do you understand?

That's shit crazy when I don't do exactly what she says to do.

My God.

You know, I'm just going to run away like my older sister did.

Why'd she run away?

Why?

Well, you know, Polly and I just didn't get along. She didn't want to play nice,

so Mom said that she had to move. And so she did, on her own.

Oh, so you drove your sister away.

Whatever.

She didn't want to be here anyway, so she moved, and it's all good. She was

on her own. She lives in the Beach Point apartment.

It's really nice.

Oh, cool.

Well, she lives there, like, all alone?

Yeah.

Mommy says that I can never live alone, but I'm cool with that because I'd be so

lonely.

What a baby.

There we go.

Thanks to you, we have to stay in here and be quiet for the rest of the day.

Yep, you're a real bonehead, blondie.

Do you think that my mommy's never going to come and get me, and I'm going to

have to take it with you and your heck of a mommy?

Nah, nah. She, uh, she sends in a spy to watch me,

like, every six months or something.

It's quite exhausting.

Um, I'm not a spy.

Why would anybody spy on you?

Why else would she send in a woman my mother's age to watch what I'm doing?

Obviously to spy on me.

Look, I'm 18 years old.

Why would I lie about that?

I don't know. To spy on me. To snitch me out when I'm eating gluten or drinking

sugar or any of the other dirty things I want to do.

Okay, so how do I prove that I'm not a spy?

How about you do me a favor and just lay over there and listen to Justin Bieber

on low and just wait until your mom gets here and just be quiet.

Look,

I can do it. I can prove it. I'm not a spy.

I will...

See, but your mommy doesn't let you kiss.

Not kiss girls.

I'm not allowed to kiss anyone.

See?

Since I was a peck, my mom and grandmother give me peck kisses all the

That's not breaking the rules.

Your lips are really soft.

You ever do a kiss, like the kind of kiss that makes the hairs on the back of

your neck stand up and makes your toes curl?

Yeah.

You're dirty, aren't you?

A little bit.

Right?

Like me, aren't you? Yeah.

Break the rules.

Rules breaker.

I'll break them.

I can break some more rules, too.

You want to see?

Yeah. Yes, we have.

Can it tickle? Can it tickle?

Oh, my God. Touch me, touch me. Touch me.

Oh, yeah, look at that.

I'm crying all over again.

Yeah, just like that.

Do you have to do a pillow like that sometimes?

Yeah. Me too.

Do you have my shoes? I still got my shoes. Oh my God.

Keep grinding.

I know, they're still crying I think.

So warm down there So warm

I'm trying to do it.

It's cool.

See, I told you I was pretty cool.

Do you think I'm cool now?

I'm not a spy or anything.

I'm just like a teen.

Just like you.

I like your balance.

Thank you.

My mommy got up for him.

I love you.

They're going to go.

They're still.

They're pretty good.

Oh,

my

God.

Oh,

my God.

I'm going to have to tingle.

Can we help?

I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it. Wow, you did such a good job.

Maybe I don't know what I'm doing, but I can take my pants off.

You're gonna play with your wife.

You're so soft everyone.

You're struggling a little bit, but it's like a good time.

Like a good time? Yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. Oh, my God.

Yeah,

touch yourself like that.

Do you know what it feels like how you touch yourself? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

I like

to

wipe my finger when I do it.

What?

Oh my god!

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Show me.

We're not naked. We're not naked.

So we're not naked all the way. Yeah, we're not all the way.

I'm always going to think we're jumping.

Why do you think she calls me monkey?

Oh my god!

You really like to break the rules.

I do like to break the rules.

Me too.

I break the rules.

Oh my god.

You're so pretty.

You're so pretty.

I was thinking the same thing.

oh my god

Like this? Yeah.

So you can watch the door.

Okay.

Consensual love.

Your daughter's batshit crazy.

Language.

Sorry.

But she told me that she does dirty shit all the time.

So, obviously, she has a couple of screws loose.

Kaylin, time out for you.

Oh, yeah? Well, I would love to go to time out. Anything to get away from