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- Arthur? - What?

- Insult session time! - Oh no!

- Come on, please, sweetie! - Fine.

If you hadn't pushed me into a pool to teach me survival,

I'd be a top swimmer now. So, fuck off!

I didn't want you to become a coward!

- You're losing it. - You're so ungrateful.

Just like your shitty dad.

You could have at least tried to make dad stay!

You can give couple's advice when you finally mange to get a girl.

Two kids from two different fathers,

you must get plenty of advice, right?

You can give advice when you learn to swim, ducky. Okay?

Well done, sweetie, you were great.

It's so good for us to speak with no filter like that.

That news story was right.

Communication is so important in life.

When I see other moms struggling

with their teen kids, I think,

"honestly, it's not so hard".

You just need to listen...

Want me to drop you off?

No, I'll take the bus.

If you're happy with it, I'm fine.

- Bye, Jose. - Later, Arthur.

Don't forget, 9th grade is important.

Work hard, because then it's high school.

It gets serious. I've told you 30 times,

- Arthur, please. - Bye, mom.

- You okay? - Yo, big guy.

Yo, stud.

- What's with the moustache? - You noticed?

It's for the ladies, they like the tickle, see?

I read it in my mom's Grazia.

You can only see it up close, it looks like

a moustache tadpole that'll morph into something else,

like an octopus.

I'm afraid of nothing, this year is gonna be lit.

'Stache Man, in the starting blocks.

Did you see? My arms are getting bigger.

Yeah... Dude, for real, you didn't make out with Yaëlle?

Of course we did!

No, she kissed you at truth or dare.

It was just the game. And no tongue, it doesn't count.

It was no joke when I touched her boobs over her sweater.

She calls you 'Boob Guy'.

You dated for, like, 24 hours, Saturday to Monday,

didn't even see her Sunday. You've never really had a girl.

You're single, accept it!

THE ESSENTIAL'S INVISIBLE TO THE EYE, ONE SEES CLEARLY ONLY WITH THE HEART.

HOW TO MAKE OUT

Hello!

I'm so happy to see you girls, I missed you so much!

- Hi, Yaëlle! - I have major news to tell you.

- My party this year will be sick. - Your parties are always sick.

SICK.

Isn't it great? All the costumes, food, decorations...

It's gonna be crazy. Plus, my parents will be gone,

so the whole house'll be ours. It'll be the best party ever!

- Boob Guy! - Boob Guy, Boob Guy!

- You new haircut suits you. - What do you want?

Nothing. Did you have nice holidays?

Are you kidding me?

You grope me, then ask about holidays?

Go get a life. You're pathetic with that bump.

Yeah, it really hurts.

So, can Guigui and I come to your party in December?

It's called 'Dec.', use the right word.

I invite cool people. You're useless, clingy,

your friend's lame. You're not invited, ever.

Since we made out, you could do something about it.

We didn't. You raped me by groping me.

It's different.

All you care about is sex since 2nd grade.

We didn't make out, you're not invited, period.

Go jerk off, sicko, or I'll report you. #MeToo

Hello to all of you, and welcome to 9B.

Yes, you've made it to the end of the second part of your education.

My name is

Miss Viel.

I'm your French teacher and also your main teacher.

The main class teacher is to whom you can talk to

about your problems regarding your studies, work,

relationships with other teachers, which can be difficult...

I'm also here to listen to any family issues you may have...

BOOB GUY

What a pain...

... may hinder your studies and your success.

Watch my new dance.

Meh, you're too twitchy.

You'll be sorry when I'm a celebrity.

When they'll interview you on the news,

"it's true, I said he was too twitchy".

You'll look dumb.

I'm a celebrity radar, you don't measure up.

A shit radar. Dancing is in my DNA!

Dude, are you watching? Dude!

You better take that look off your face.

She's insanely hot, I want her.

We know her since 5th grade, you never cared!

She changed over the summer.

She's the same, but also not the same. She's stunning now!

You're nuts. Look, her dad's a loser.

Hello, everyone!

Our seagull, Daniel, who you can call Danny,

can offer private or group swimming lessons,

as well as aqua-gym.

In the Pool Family, can I have the daughter?

Have a nice swim!

You alright, kid?

Any thoughts about swimming lessons?

It's not for me, I've thought about it.

Water is life, you know?

In your mom's belly, you were floating, swimming.

No questions asked, that's instinct.

And I promised Paola...

Well, I promised your mother I'd teach you to swim.

To swim is to...

It's to face the unknown, see?

Fears are just things that need to be conquered.

You must build on your strengths,

build up your Jedi skills.

What's 'Jedi'?

You don't know Star Wars?

You don't know the movie?

- No. - R2D2? Yoda?

You don't know it?

Now, that's real philosophy.

It's got everything: good, evil,

connections, conflict, love.

It should be part of social security.

Really? It's got love?

The elevator's busted again, my legs are dead.

Here, it's for you.

What's this?

No, it's bills, I'm not opening it.

What a cute little cap.

Your swim teacher's super sweet.

It's called a life-guard, mom.

Anyway, I'm not taking classes.

It's a shame, sweetie, you'll regret it later.

Before you know it, life passes you by.

What's wrong? What do you want?

She's a baby, she doesn't understand you.

Why are you alone in life?

What's with all the questions?

What's up with you? I don't know why... It's complicated.

I'm scared that loving someone will take something away from me.

And anyway, I'm tired.

When we get old, we're more emotional and fragile,

so we just avoid it.

And you, smarty-pants? Why don't you have a girl?

It's never quiet here. Can you stop your fu...

dumb music, please?

No, it's a song about a great dinosaur!

- Knock knock. - What?

What are you doing?

I'm watching a movie from the last century: Star Wars.

- Can I join you? - No.

A girl will love you one day, be patient.

My life isn't going too fast,

it's going by too slow.

They're all crazy about him.

What's he got more than us?

Everything. Grade retention,

muscles, a surfboard, wheels,

girls, a 'bad' look.

- A sex life. - You're so negative.

He counts on his looks but

he's repeated twice, so he's no Steve Jobs.

Arthur, what's up? Breathe!

One, two! One, two!

Turn, turn, turn.

Come on, one, two! One, two!

And stop.

Relax, relax, relax the shoulders.

There. Ready?

Hey, what's up?

Come on, it's important.

I've got an offer you'll adore.

Let's go talk on the plastic chairs.

Want to spray me, Nemo?

Or grope me, Boob Guy?

I told you. I'd never invite him to my 'Dec' party.

I need to bring my standards up before high school.

I'll do whatever you want.

Whatever I want?

So... I'd like to know if you'd be up for

teaching me and some friends how to make out with girls.

- What? - Well...

You're gorgeous and clever about emotions,

I thought you'd be the best person.

My friends and I suck at basic understanding,

especially specific to girls,

well, mainly my friends,

it'd be cool if you helped.

- How much will you pay? - It's non-profit.

You think I'm some kind of Dalai Lama?

You're using me to help some losers for free.

Matt and I want to go see the Kanye West concert in New York.

I need money for the plane ticket.

I'll get ten euros per lesson per person, or fuck off.

Fine, five euros, my last offer.

- Kanye's old, not worth it. - No, ten.

Get lots of losers.

- Under 40 euros, I won't bother. - Fine.

At that price, you teach us how to make out with a girl

- and how to keep her! - Don't worry, Willy, I'll free you.

Your swimsuit.

You said, whatever I want.

- I want your swimsuit. - Don't be nasty,

I'll give you my cap.

You're not a man of your word.

Fine, go find someone else.

Need help showing your butt in my pool?

Arthur Vidal, your daughter's classmate, 9B.

You walk around naked in school too?

It's the new fashion in 9B?

Clear the area, kid! You don't follow the dress code.

I already know my costume, it'll be awesome.

To be invited, we gotta make out with a girl. Go from loser to cool.

For that, we need Ouassima.

Help me recruit! How about him?

He's gross, tiny, scrawny, super freaky.

Looks like he'd drag you tied behind a car when he gets angry.

I confirm he's never made out.

Don't discriminate. Maybe he's suffered as a kid.

- Come on, let's ask him. - I'm only doing it for the party.

- You good? - UYA.

We're got a great offer for you,

- you interested? - UYA.

- I don't speak Arabic. - Up Your Ass.

Right!

I was offering to make out with girls,

it's not UYA, it's for real.

- Don't we look stupid? - No.

We're at the brink of our intimate revolution.

We're savages!

Well?

Let's go, lady killers!

Better move your asses if you want to get girls.

With my classes, learn to make out.

Making out is like football, you need to stand out.

We need to see how you stand out.

- By being myself? - Just wait!

You'll each tell me what's original about you.

Let's go, who starts?

No, teacher's pet. Guillaume?

I'd like to point out that I'm here to get invited to Yaëlle's party.

I don't need help to make out, I'm not part of this group.

I stand out with my love for dance.

That's great, you can use that.

No, stop. This won't work for the party.

Let's move on. Next!

My asset is my honesty.

I'm often told I'm an honest person...

Swallow your tongue, that's bullshit!

No one cares about honesty.

Like your plastic shoes. It's useless.

- You think? - Yeah.

I'll need to think, then...

- Can I go last? - Yes.

- Samir? - Me?

I'm crazy. They call me the Jackal 'cause I'm so tough.

That stands out with the girls. I intimidate.

Not great, tough only works if you're gentle.

You've gotta optimise. Arthur?

Dunno, I don't have anything special.

Fine, I'll say it. I'm a leader, boss of everything.

Who organised the lottery in 7th grade?

Who collected money for Tabard's going away present?

Who almost was class rep last year? So, who's the leader?

It's so hot how you embarrass yourself.

Your sexiness is zero.

- You don't look like a winner. - I'm a win-win.

What's going on?

Okay, coast is clear.

I've got it. I'm doing great in class.

I'm in first place in Math. French, I'm one of the best.

That's so lame. It might be good for yourself,

but for making out... You're dead.

I must contradict you.

Having good grades shows a man with ambition,

- wealthy, have access to... - You're pissing me off.

Get your asses in gear!

- Question: are you with me or not? - Yeah.

- I can't hear you. - Yeah!

That's better! Figure out how you stand out.

Next time, we'll do something about your stupid faces,

- you're all covered in spots. - Yeah!

- You've pissed me off. - UYA, who does she think she is?

Yeah... And she doesn't like my shoes.

- My shoes are fine. - You pissed her off!

Okay. I'm ready.

There, that's good. On your belly, float.

The fear's in your head. The idea of fear paralyses you.

Come on, Arthur, lift your head. If not, you'll drown.

There, lift your head. Good.

The force is with you. Stretch out your legs, like a frog.

Good. Stretch them out.

Horizontal, not vertical! Don't drown on me!

Come on.

Arthur, come back up!

Never fight a losing battle!

"Joy of being in school, when BOX OF JOY

many aren't lucky enough." That's lovely, Arthur.

"Joy of having a son like you."

- Thanks, mom. - You're welcome. It's true.

"Joy of learning to swim". I'm so happy you enjoy it.

Mr Poupinel is a great teacher.

It's so brave of you to face your fears like that.

It's called a 'life-guard', mom.

"Joy of having a mom who loves me as I am."

"Joy of having a son who trusts me and is trustworthy."

All done. Tonight was intense!

I love this Box of Joy, I think it's a great idea.

It's important to be positive in life, to...

to see the glass half full, you know?

Why did dad leave, the night of the fireworks?

Arthur, please, we're having a nice evening.

Don't start with that again.

He left because... he left.

I'll make bolognese and we'll have a nice evening, okay?

First, I'll have a smoke.

Even if smoking kills, says so on the packet, all over.

After diner, I'll go to the pharmacy to buy some patches.

What do you want for your birthday?

For my birthday,

I want a normal life and some answers.

- What's with that imitation? - It's a dog.

- You're nuts. No way. - Come on, please!

- I'll take care of it. - You?

A little dog, with a cheeky look, super sweet.

Like this. Very smart and funny. See?

He'd give lots of cuddles. No?

- There's no room. - No room?

There's no room for me or for a dog.

You think I'm bad at impersonations.

You're a bit unpleasant today.

I already have two kids.

Why would I now complicate my life with a dog? You don't get it.

A pet means responsibilities:

take it out for walks, feed it, take care of it.

A lover as well... So, stop with the cliches.

A dog would make Arthur so happy.

Animals can humanise teenagers,

it's been proven, the specialists say so.

You always need to control everything! It's true!

You're always like this...

- Oh, well... - I love you.

Even with me, it seems too much for you.

Honestly, I don't really know why I'm still here.

You have a hair in your mouth.

- Really? - Yeah, wait.

There, I got it, see?

It won't bother you anymore. No need for a hairdresser.

Got another one? Call me, I'll take care of it.

Wait. I got this for you at the pool.

That way...

- you won't catch cold. - That's so cute.

You're my hero.

Go on. Taking an hour and a half at the pharmacy...

Arthur's a teen, but not stupid.

See you. "Who's more foolish?"

"the fool or the fool who follows him?"

- Obi Wan, episode 4. - It wasn't a real question.

It's a haiku, see? See you soon.

- What's that? - It's fine, everyone has one.

Sure, "everyone has one". If everyone jumps off a cliff, you'll jump too?

I forbid you from entering my room!

Are you crazy? I'm the one who forbids in this house.

Get a grip, Oussima, you're fooling around

with your singing nonsense and skimpy swimsuits.

This is not what I expect from you.

Take that off and give it now!

- The one-piece is too warm. - Then, go to the fridge,

swallow some ice, it'll do you good.

- You'll make me look like a kid. - That's what you are!

You can't be like the Arab girls who prance around,

live off benefits, or worse, sell drugs.

You behave like a French girl.

Take that off now and give it to me.

And what they say about you? You're a fascist!

We are Arabic. You don't accept where we're from.

You don't even teach me Arabic. It sucks!

We're of Arab origin!

French for three generations. My ID card is French.

I'm no leech. I love my country, I speak French.

Please, be polite!

If your mother were here, she'd be ashamed.

So, the first thing a girl sees is your face.

It's like for houses, it takes three seconds to choose.

I won't introduce Jen, my BFF,

who'll help me with makeovers, since there's a lot of work.

What do you want to keep most?

- My aquiline nose? - Loser.

Why not your ass or crappy shoes?

I say 'ass' a lot too! So much in common.

Don't you think, babe?

- That wasn't the question? - Your nose isn't a look,

it's an observation.

We'll give you sunglasses, so we see you less.

It'll reinforce your mysterious side.

Guigui, get up and do a spin.

This guy thinks he's a ballerina!

I love dance, I'm proud of it.

My look is my 'stache, that's all I'll say.

- You see this? - Moustaches are cool.

Okay, we'll see what we can do with it.

It's more like before

- Jesus Christ's time. - It's called 'vintage'.

- She's vintage too. - Move your ass, old fart.

See how rude she is?

You know what? I'm my rage.

I can see you as a crazy badass rapper. Trash.

Baby, baby, baby.

Don't talk shit, I'll bring it all down just so we can do it.

Dude, forget it, you've got no flow.

You need some chains to shine.

I was thinking an eyebrow piercing.

Your shitheads have a fat chance.

So lame. You need a skateboard.

You'll skate, you'll look less uptight.

- Like Matt, so hot on his wheel. - Cool it with Matt.

You, Guigui, do something about your hair.

Don't be afraid to show your personality.

Not on the surface, but deep down.

Let's shower.

Thanks for the tips, you're awesome.

Can I get your number?

Yeah, but don't text me too much, I don't really use my phone.

What's going on in my pool now?

Assaulting old ladies?

No, sir, we're collecting money for migrants,

- funds for a charity... - Get out of the girls' locker room!

This is my place and works by my rules.

Go mess around elsewhere!

In another pool!

I've decided!

You've decided what career you want?

I'll be me!

I want a skateboard for Christmas.

Really? But your birthday's before Christmas.

Wait, you don't want to take the bus with Guigui?

No, mom, I'm changing.

My whole life's changing, I'm becoming an adult.

Okay, we'll ask Santa for a skateboard.

Let's hope he can find a cheap one.

- I have my Santa list too, write it. - I'm listening.

- A kitty, a ferocious T-Rex. - Yeah.

A dad, a yellow watering can. I'll leave carrots under the tree,

so your reindeer can eat. Signed Jose Vidal, on 23rd floor.

Santa may not get you everything on your list, monkey,

but I promise I'll send it.

Yeah, it's obvious you won't get a dad.

Very mature comment. Impressive.

And very nice of you.

I miss your hair. When can I see you? Danny, your personal hairdresser.

Actually, I'll need the skateboard earlier.

I could quickly tell these glasses were made for me.

Guys! I had an idea this weekend.

Woah, guys, you look great!

Well done!

This weekend, I had an awesome idea.

I'll give you homework!

Video yourself talking about what love means to you.

Well, what you're looking for in love.

There are several subjects? Not very thorough.

It's one subject: what is love, with a question mark.

That's tough, giving us extra work. We're paying you so we work more.

We don't want philosophy classes. You're pissing me off.

I find it interesting. It gives meaning to what we're doing.

Exactly, thank you! And Victor Hugo said,

"Nothing is more sacred than a woman's tantrum."

Meaning, you do it because I'm the woman!

Guys, you need a purpose to get a girl!

You haven't even made out with girls yet, so get to work.

- So annoying. - Damn.

Stupid Victor Hugo.

I like him.

Which hand?

Careful, are you sure?

Well? Now, blow here.

Look! It's there.

It was you. See? You made it appear.

I didn't know you were so good with kids. It's nice.

Why don't you have any?

- Do you want to live with me? - What?

What are you talking about?

- Okay, got it. - No, well...

It really unsettles me that you make me run around like this.

You know, I don't have kids because life goes by too fast.

Come on... Smoking is bad for kids and dogs.

You should keep that in mind.

Listening is important.

I'm not going to live with you just to make you happy. Right?

For me, love is...

...is...

...is shit.

To a woman I love, no harm done,

I targeted you to rob you, I watched you to shotgun you,

shot an arrow to catch you, tied you up to keep you.

It's my way of loving you. To a woman called Jen,

Don't piss me off. The Jackal, UYA, in your face.

Nice, Samir. Thanks for doing the work, it's... sensitive.

- If I may, have you shown it to Jen? - You're mad!

- Be proactive! - I don't care, I have my pride!

Leave him alone! At least he had the balls to do the work.

I'm still waiting for you guys.

I can't always be behind you but never at your side.

I don't want us to break up.

You don't want us to stay together.

- Give me some time to... - You know,

when porcelain breaks,

you can't glue it back together.

It all ends abruptly.

It's over, Paola.

No more. I don't like what I'm becoming.

"If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."

That's not me, Obi-Wan Kenobi says that,

episode 3, just so you know.

Two ways to approach a girl: talk or no talk.

No Talk is through eye contact. Look at her so she looks back at you.

But careful! Never, ever smile! Only the girl smiles, not the guy.

You look dumb when you smile. Nothing I can do.

Go on, Guigui, get up and give me eye contact!

Seriously? You look like a clown, that's too violent!

Your stare confuses me. Like you're gonna attack me.

- Can I try someone else? - Don't dance when you see a girl,

you're not a musical. Go with Jen, then.

No, Arthur. It's easier with a dude.

Stop changing the rules!

There, that's good. It was honest, that was cool.

- Guigui, you have great eyes. - My turn!

What?

- Why are you laughing? - Forget it.

Arthur, your turn. Get up.

Look at me, damn it! Hey, Arthur?

- I am. - You're looking but not seeing me.

Okay, drop it! Aube, your turn again.

Eye contact isn't for you. Try the Talk technique.

Give me a pick up line, go on!

I love who you are.

- You don't even know me! - Let the boss handle it.

I could kill someone for you.

- Me too. - Rob a grocery or a car for you.

With balaclavas and a gun? Cool, go on.

- You're hot. - Yeah?

I'm a jackal. I'd tattoo a target on your ass.

- Trashy! Anytime. - You're mad, so intoxicating.

Hey, please, let's stay focused!

Okay, thank you!

Everybody up.

Would you rather have arms made of foam or a duck beak?

- A duck beak. - Good.

That way, I can still hold your hand.

But it's not ideal for kissing.

Quack, quack!

That's cute, Arthur.

Try things out, guys!

Don't bore me with your videos, I'll hunt you down to death!

Did you know the essential's invisible to the eye?

Your glasses are pathetic.

Did you know you can't learn about life from reading?

- Did you know you're annoying? - Did you know you're lucky we met?

Did you know that I like you like no one else?

Did you know my name's Morgane?

- It's because he's got sweet talk. - He's got no body, just stares.

- He did it with eye contact. - I'll practice with Ouassima.

- Can you stop saying 'Ouassima'? - No, he can't.

I can't believe how jealous you are. Go get your own girls.

She's not your girl, she's Matt's!

- That will change! - UYA, way up!

Okay, girls. You're next, get ready.

What do you want? Go away, I don't like being alone with people.

I'm skipping sports. I suck at them.

Me too. I hate it when everyone watches me when I exercise.

- It's too tough. - Can't avoid it, you're too pretty.

We only see you, even if you're not there.

There, you've found how to stand out: smooth talk.

Wanna do something together after class?

We'll see.

You're being so mysterious, it totally works on me.

It disturbs me. You disturb me.

You're chaotic.

You're here, babe?

- What are you doing? - I'm coming.

Come on. I scored awesome points and did my victory dance.

You better stay away from my girl.

You like Boob Guy now?

No way. Have you seen his face?

You're bright red, you totally like him!

Boob Guy's liked me since 2nd grade.

- He's obsessed with me. - Either way,

it's fine, I'm with Matt. If you want, you can have him.

- I'd rather drop dead! - Agreed.

"The ideal man must be: a. Romantic like his flowers

b. Reliable like his promises

c. Loyal like his dog, or

d. Sexy like his abs?"

Sexy like his abs! All agreed.

Hi, beautiful!

- Hi, Arthur. - What you up to?

I'm paragliding!

I'm shopping,

It's for a friend. She's super shy, so I go for her.

The pharmacy's worse, you gotta talk to a person.

Yeah, so shy! I need some too, for my mom.

The yellow ones, with applicators.

Biodegradable, great quality, good for the planet.

Okay... So, what's new?

- My mom's annoying, totally lost it. - Yeah?

Mine's not lost, she's dead.

- Really. - I didn't know, sorry. That's tough.

Lung cancer, four years ago.

Life's horrible. My dad left on Bastille Day.

I'd rather he be dead, than alive and not care.

By the way, why do you rap? It's annoying!

No, I don't rap. I do my own songs and play along on a ukulele.

Really? Can I listen?

No, you can't.

Well, if you want... Friday 30th at 9pm I'm doing an Open Mic.

The 30th isn't great for me, but...

Okay. Isn't Matt going to get pissed off?

I mean, us hanging out.

Don't worry, he doesn't know.

- You guys okay? - Yeah, I'm totally in love.

Great. It'll be awesome to see you. Come.

What are you doing?

Pink, orange or blue?

- Go on! Pink, orange or blue? - Blue.

The shop Leclerc and Arthur are happy to offer you this amazing bath sponge

with a voucher for ?1.20!

Better than flowers, it doesn't rot, don't need a vase or water.

Hang it like this, like dried sausage on a string.

Or a guy committing suicide.

Okay, thank you.

It's weird, but... Nice of you, thanks.

It's time to start class.

Let's start. I've noticed you're too tense.

When you talk to a girl, you need to relax or you look desperate.

And I thought, "you look desperate because you ARE desperate!"

You've never snogged, you're lame.

I snogged Yaëlle!

Stop lying, she said you didn't use tongue.

Today, we'll get hands-on, we'll make out.

I'm sacrificing myself, so my classes are productive.

- Hey, wait! It's not just theory? - Good timing.

I've been training on a mannequin in my first aid class.

To react in case of an attack.

You nagged me about getting action. Now you're getting some!

We'll make out, but it doesn't count. It stays between us.

If I learn you've told anyone,

I'll report your asses like crazy.

You'll need to move to another city.

Fine with me if it doesn't count. Women are very territorial about men.

While I'm at it, I can officially announce that

Morgane and I are a couple. I did it.

- Bravo! - I, Aubin, made out with a girl.

Now, to keep the flame.

- No point if we can't tell. - You'd rather be outrun by Aube?

To make out, you must be two things: Relaxed and Determ. Come, Samir.

- What's "determ."? - Determined.

- Where have you been? - I thought it was detergent.

A bit too determ. I thought you were going to bite me.

That one counts.

- So, we're together? - No.

- Women are fickle. - Shut up!

- Will you kiss us? - You freak! You're not even legal!

- I'm eleven and a half. Here! - Here!

Aubin!

Why do you turn your tongue in one direction?

First aid class didn't work out?

My cousin told me girls turn clockwise, guys counter-clockwise.

- Doesn't seem to annoy Morgane. - Be cool, tongues should dance!

We've lost him.

Here, come.

- It's awkward. Can we go elsewhere? - It's fine.

It's just us. Don't be a pansy!

Okay, fine, no one's dying.

We'll try another day. Arthur?

We must remind you: swimming caps are mandatory for hygiene purposes.

Thank you for your understanding and have a good swim!

Hey, guys, I smell fire, they're burning hot!

- You see that? So, looks like... - Alright!

Okay, Arthur, you've got both points.

Where do you think you are? Ouassima, what are you doing?

Quiet, I don't want to hear from you.

You can forget your guitar! You have no decency or self respect.

And you? What do you want with my daughter?

Get out of here! Move!

You have no business with Ouassima in my pool. Got it?

Get out! All of you, disappear!

You're not living your youth, you're wasting it, Ouassima!

Well, son, nothing else to say. You're a genius in dance and school.

As your mother, I congratulate you as well, bravo!

It's not great, but it's the college prospects, I'm stressed.

You're joking, pass marks in two subjects.

At this pace, you'll do a full burnout.

On the 30th, you can forget your 15th birthday.

From now on, you're working!

Is this out of 10, not 20?

French: 8, history: 9, math: 7, honestly...

And the icing on the cake, 5 in sports!

You've surpassed yourself... Not interested in what I'm saying?

I am! I'm sorry about my grades. I'll work harder, I swear.

Sit at your desk now. I'll be behind you, supervising.

I'll go to my meeting another night.

I don't want you to waste your life, even if you hate me.

I don't care if you hate me, you hear?

And your music, that's over.

- No, no! - It's over.

You may be stubborn, but I'm more so than you!

- DAD! - No dad!

I WANT YOU, BABY. MEET AFTER TOMORROW AT THE STADIUM? MATT 4EVER

I WANT YOU TOO. OKAY FOR MEETING AT THE STADIUM.

Sorry, I rushed over, had to wait

- for dad to fall asleep. - No ukulele?

No, dad blew a fuse so he broke it.

- I don't care, I'll sing a Capella. - Shit! It's your turn!

Wait, don't move.

It'll be fine. I'm here.

I'd like to ask you a favour...

but it's a bit embarrassing.

- Actually, it's super embarrassing. - Go on.

Matt wants to do it, and I'm a virgin.

I'll look like an idiot.

So, I thought you and I could do it as practice,

since that's kind of the aim of our lessons.

Would... you be okay with it?

Well, but...

No. I don't want to do it.

I just want to make out, I don't want to fuck.

I'm not ready for...

Yeah, you're right, it's so embarrassing...

Kissing is one thing, but real sex...

I've never done it.

I can't accept...

You're giving me so much pressure!

I really like you.

But if being intimate stresses you, you won't be relaxed, I won't either.

It's fine, just forget it!

"Be relaxed"... Aren't you funny?

I'm fine with being "determ.", but "relaxed"...?

Just kissing, or even hand stuff...

That I can do. But after that, I'm not sure, it's really intense!

Listen... I trust you.

And you're so gentle.

And with these lessons, I feel connected to you.

- Doesn't matter... I'll ask Samir. - Are you nuts?

I didn't say no.

I'm thinking it through.

For the lessons, you're being paid...

How much do you want?

I'm not a hooker! Calm down, it's fine.

- We'll do it non-profit. - Really?

You're awesome. Let's say, meet at the pool tomorrow at 10 pm?

My dad has a national meeting, so I can steal his keys!

Tomorrow already? I don't even have time to...

Wouldn't you prefer after tomorrow?

Fine, you win. Tomorrow, then!

Cool, thanks! It's great that it'll be with you.

I have to go, okay? My dad...

- See you tomorrow? - Yeah, 10 pm is good. Hey!

You sing really well.

It was a great present for my 15th birthday.

It's your birthday? Why didn't you say anything?

I don't like getting older, it depresses me.

Happy birthday.

Where were you?

I waited and waited for you!

At Guigui's house, working on a music paper.

Really?

You worked so late, I was worried!

I won't yell, but you're lucky

it's your birthday and I'm a super nice mom.

- You okay? - Yeah, yeah.

I know we said no presents, but...

I got you a small thing anyway.

Since you already got your skateboard... Here.

LIFE IS A PARTY!

If you don't like it, you can change it.

Happy birthday, sweetie.

That's a firefighter man defending the city from dinosaurs.

And that's you.

Thank you.

Happy birthday, Arthur.

- You're keeping your...? - Don't care.

Kiss me?

Thanks for tonight, Nemo.

You're my friend. My best friend.

2 am on a week night. Are you kidding me, Arthur?

We said 11 pm at the latest.

Insult session right now!

- Please don't. - Now, I said!

You respect nothing, only think of yourself. You selfish idiot!

You only care about yourself, your money and José.

- You don't care about my problems! - You're spoiled, poor thing!

You don't study, ask me for money.

I don't recognise you, what's going on?

- Where's my dad? - He doesn't care, he abandoned you!

I hate your insult sessions, we don't say anything real.

"Life is a party" only for you.

I'm in love with a girl who doesn't like me. Got it?

She's not even my girl, okay?

So, I don't give a shit about your mother-son moments.

I saw her naked and everything! I can't believe it happened.

I was so comfortable, like I'd fucked my whole life.

It feels like a dream!

- It's the best day in the world! - Not really...

She wanted me to help her practice to sleep with Matt, so...

that kinda sucks, right?

Although, I think I was really good at it.

Ouassima is the woman of my life.

I'm ready to go steady with her.

- Arthur! - She's...

I'm sick of hearing you. You're self-centred, don't you see?

I'm in love with you.

So, I don't care about your girl stories.

You're joking, right?

I'll admit, I believed you. You're good!

Hey, dude!

Guigui! Guillaume...

So, you're abandoning us.

When I'm in full romantic peak with Morgane. How do I keep her?

I don't know, by boosting her self-esteem, declaring your love.

You're full of shit! Don't stop until each of us has made out.

- Who do you think you are? - I do what I want.

Reconsider! Guigui won't come anymore!

That's unrelated, we had a stupid fight.

What the hell's going on? Everyone's leaving? We're not ready!

I don't have time, my dad is mad, I can't carry on.

It's the minimum. I won't lose Morgane

because you're bailing.

Do you need money or not?

Guys, you're scaring me, soon you'll start hitting me!

Fine, here's a crash course.

New method: To get a girl, you need to text.

In texts, always send a girl a question for her to reply to.

It's like rock climbing, no grip, you'll fall.

She doesn't reply right away, it's a hard-to-get strategy. Okay?

If she sends emojis like kiss, heart, blush, LOL, LMAO, it's in the bag.

Keep asking her questions, always be interested in her.

She tells you her problems, say, "I get it". Even if you don't.

- So, we lie? - Yes.

- She won't ask if you get it. - Interesting.

I read a book on manipulation,

it said the same: fake it to gain it.

Always write, "lots of love", not "kisses" or an "X",

that's not romantic at all.

Say, "good night" or "sleep well" to show you're concerned about her.

Guys, I'm going. I'm super busy, I'll...

- Good night. - Text, Samir!

It's 2 pm! I meant texts!

Where are you going? Your class sucked.

I've got a thing to do.

You'll do it for free or get paid for it?

Hey, we're all made of electricity, that's why we say "love-struck".

That could work: using the lighting emoji.

Shut up!

You're beautiful.

Come on.

Tell me what you like.

Go on, tell me.

What? What's wrong?

I can't, I'm sorry.

- I can't. - What are you doing?

Ouassima!

"Are adults happier?", "are adults happier?"

- That's not what Box of Joy is for. - Well, yes.

I put the word "happier".

What's wrong, Arthur? Problems at school?

If you were being bullied, you'd tell me?

You're not answering.

When adults don't answer, it means "no".

"Happier", aren't you funny? I don't know.

Yes, sometimes we're happy and other times, not as much.

But... is it worth it?

You're scaring me, sweetie. Are you thinking of suicide?

Is... growing up worth it?

Of course it is! You're so silly.

Look, if I hadn't grown up, I wouldn't have had you or José.

I wouldn't have known what it's like to have you two,

whom I love more than myself.

It's crazy! And...

I'd have missed out on unrequited love.

I didn't miss out on that.

Speaking of love, I wanted to show you...

This. Know what it is?

- No! - Cool it, Mr Anxiety 3000!

You have to learn, it's normal.

Opening it isn't complicated.

It's like... opening a tea bag, see?

Take the side... and open it. After that...

I must tell you that unrolling it...

- that's where it gets... - Mom, seriously.

You got it to embarrass yourself?

I have bio class, I know how it works, it's fine.

One, two... turn... Perfect.

- You're the one in Ouassima's head? - No.

What'd you do, Boob Guy?

- I respected her. - Yeah? Respected how?

By making love to her, slowly.

Just talk! I read about non-violent communication, very effective!

He slammed him to the ground!

Hands off my girl. Hands off, okay?

Thanks. I'm sorry.

You'll always be my best friend, no worries.

It just felt weird on the spot.

You cute little bastard.

But did you actually make out with Ouassima? With emojis and all?

No. I'd like to, but no.

I remind you to set your alarms earlier to arrive on time...

And also to bring your pens, etc, etc.

It's double penalty...

Keep your chins up! It's your last homework before end of year.

You know what?

It's a shame, you and I really overlooked each other.

I admit I'm a pain in the ass, but...

you and I have been close since forever.

I don't know, you've changed. You're sexy now.

I've thought it over, Arthur. It's okay, you can touch them.

Go on, touch them under my sweater, on the skin.

Put your top down. It's nice of you, but...

You find them too small?

You can't do this to me, you've liked me since 2nd grade!

You've known Ouassima since 5th grade, I was first!

I have small tits, doesn't mean I can't be loved.

Personality counts too.

Please, I love you!

I'll invite you to my party, all of you, I promise!

It'll be awesome, please!

YOU ALRIGHT?

YOU'RE ALWAYS HARD-TO-GET, SO CAN YOU REPLY QUICKLY?

You really suck for telling Yaëlle. She hates me now.

I swear, I said nothing.

You'll give us class tomorrow?

Why? I don't want to anymore. I'm quitting, like the others.

I think you're strong.

You give us self-esteem.

We need you.

And there's the Kanye West concert, right?

Yeah, the Kanye concert...

Plus, I need to buy a new ukulele.

Fine, but it's the last time. Here, tomorrow, at 6 pm.

My dad will be at his meeting.

I don't like you sleeping with Matt.

You had agreed.

Your word means nothing, you're not a man!

A man can change his mind.

- It's not about my word! - Then, if I'm wrong, see ya!

You don't speak English?

I don't want to see you with my daughter.

This is your last chance. Next time, I'll do some damage!

- Is there a problem? - That kid's looking for trouble.

Arthur? I'm surprised, he's a good kid.

Yeah, sure, and I'm an air hostess!

Dany, come on, he's a punk. Open your eyes, he's a scumbag.

He's up to something in my pool. He was all over my daughter!

I've seen money left everywhere.

He smokes and sells pot.

I watch him when he comes in. He always has red eyes.

That's the chlorine.

I know his mother well, she's very nice.

Anyway, he's 15, it's normal to have red eyes when you cry a lot.

He's a degenerate... I can sense these things.

Remember the Moroccan guy last month?

He seemed normal. And in his swimming cap?

Bars of hash. And he had red eyes too.

They should be sent back home.

Arthur's French. Where should he be sent?

One-way ticket far away from my daughter.

Prison or charter flight, I don't care!

If you put all the guys who flirt on a charter flight,

there'd never be enough planes.

Maybe... But France would be more sophisticated.

Sir, wear a swimming cap, it's written everywhere!

Go to an optician!

You have a dog?

You're right, dogs are super cute.

I'm sorry...

Never apologise for what you are.

I'd like to get my hairdresser back, it's not going well.

My hair's a mess.

What if I tried to stick my bullshit back together?

I bought this, it glues everything. Nothing moves with this, it says so.

I won't move, I promise...

I can take the dog home. What's his name?

It's Darth Vader. But the dog's not the problem.

I think love is being real. I'd like to be real with you and everyone

So that maybe I'll be loved now or in the future, no rush.

So, I'm gay. Well, yeah... I'm gay.

It's weird to say, but...

For me, it's complicated to make out with girls when I prefer guys.

I feel like a traitor, out of sync.

I'm out of sync all the time, with family, dancing, or at school.

But love is about accepting yourself.

I want to thank you for the time we've spent together.

I didn't make out, but I made friends, and that's real love for me.

Well... Thanks, Guigui.

Thanks for doing the work. It's...

Wait, are you 'gay' gay or is it a phase?

- 'Gay' gay. - Right, wow.

I knew a girl that was lesbian for a month just to be cool.

Well, you've got balls for a guy gay!

Wanna do one last express class on how to manage your girl?

I don't know what's up with Morgane.

It seems I've offended her by saying we should optimise our communication.

You thought you could manage it, but you can't.

Give her freedom. Don't annoy her with bullshit like

"where are you?", "what are you doing?"

You need to trust her, respect her. Give her oxygen.

Can you explain this 'freedom'?

- I don't get this nonsense. - Let her live as she wants,

even if you don't agree or understand.

Respect who she is.

Have a connection where you're equal to her, not better than her.

And you don't 'manage' a girl, she's not a bank!

Learn to speak properly!

In other words, I must optimise my communication

so that Morgane can optimise hers? Okay, makes sense.

To manage a girl, you must constantly reassess yourself.

- And to manage a guy? - Same thing, don't say 'manage'.

No one cares, guy, girl, we're all people.

I've told you lots of bullshit.

You're better than me, guys.

Your emotions are great,

a guy or girl won't make fun of you if you truly show them.

Lying is not a real trick.

You know all about that!

What's your problem?

- What do you think? - The Jackal feels tension.

Okay, Arthur, cool it!

I won't. Not another word from you!

Sit here to be in our shoes for a bit.

- Let me go! - Arthur, relax. You're wound up.

You give advice and do shit with others.

You say we should listen, but what about you?

How are you sincere?

- You sleep with me then ignore me? - Shut up, we had agreed!

Agreed on what? That you'd use me?

You're just not with it, Ouassima!

Can't you tell I like you?

No, you're there getting a new guy each day.

What about you and me?

You give lessons but behave like a kid.

Wow, they did make out!

Damn it, I didn't sleep with Matt, asshole!

Because he's an asshole too!

- Happy now, marked your territory? - Right! Know what?

All along, you've been playing

the role of a slut!

You asshole!

- Matt! Stop! - Bastard!

- Shit, calm down! - Let me go, damn it!

I'll kill you!

Come here, you.

Yes, hello? It's for some punks.

The Seagulls Pool, for acts of violence.

Must be a drug deal, there's money on the floor. You, stay here.

Thank you, I'll wait for you. They're under control, not going anywhere!

- Guys, run! - Watch it!

You, calm down! Sit down!

In summary, you've each paid ten euros so she would

- teach you "how to make out", right? - Yes,

she really made me haggle.

Wait, two seconds, please.

Arthur, is this a joke? You went to see a 'good-time girl'?

No, she was super late.

For flirting classes?

You must be skilled, you've earned a lot.

Not enough for New York.

It's not flirting, it's "love behavioural psychology".

Love! When you're 15!

I'd rather be deaf than hear this!

- Did you use protection? - Not enough, given my suffering...

I'm curious, did you learn to "make out" in the end?

- No, I matured. - So, she tricked you. She's clever!

No, I'm just gay and in platonic love with my best friend.

As long as this all stays legal, there's no harm.

As long as it's legal, no harm done.

You'll work hard to pay me back, all holiday long.

- Can I still go swimming? - We'll see.

You know, your dad pushed you into the pool, not me.

He met a Cuban girl on July 14th and left with her.

It's not a national holiday for them.

He disappeared without fixing anything.

I'm sorry he left you, Arthur.

Loving my sons, I can do. But choosing the right dad...

Why did you make me think it was you who pushed me?

It's easier to hate the parent who stayed than the one who left.

- Shall we do an ad-hoc Box of Joy? - No.

No more Box of Joy and insult sessions.

You've been doing it too long to make me happy.

I knew nothing about Ouassima. You're right, I don't listen enough.

I was wrong, that's it. Parents can be wrong.

We're going to change things. We'll talk to each other more.

With no obligation, if possible.

Move forward, Ouassima, or you'll end up like your friends.

You won't get a job,

or a nice life either!

You need to want it!

Others won't want it for you!

You need to have fury for it!

Your fury is not with that boy, it's in you!

Did you have fury for mom?

No. I've had it since she's no longer with us.

It's not by going to your meetings that you'll feel better,

that mom will come back and you'll start your life over.

You put your anger in the wrong place, dad!

You'll pay those boys back, one by one.

You must take responsibility, my dear.

But I need money to buy a new ukulele!

Life is not a walk in the park.

Now, eat.

- You're ready, buddy! - For what?

To take the exam! 25 meter backstroke.

- Seriously? - Yes.

- 'May the force be with me', then. - Yes.

I asked my daughter not to see your son. I've asked him,

but he's already slept with her, so my request had no effect.

You think we can stop them from seeing each other? Ridiculous.

- Plus, my son used protection. - Great, we'll give him a medal?

No. Maybe we treat them too much like children...

We still see them as babies, but they've grown up.

Maybe we need to loosen up a bit.

I think they're in love. I know Arthur really loves Ouassima.

Well, good for him!

I don't want to validate a 'serious' relationship at 15. It's nonsense.

- Ouassima has a whole life ahead. - I know.

What's going through their head? Do you ask yourself that?

All the time.

I think it's a hormone issue, or too many emotions, or...

What they need is rules. Rules will make them feel reassured.

My kid sweeps all my rules aside.

Mine wants to be a singer.

That just shows you it's a real circus at my house now!

Mine tells me he wants to be himself.

- I find it interesting, really. - I'd like...

Danny? We're in a parent-teacher meeting, we'll meet later.

Actually, it's not you I came to see.

Right, so, I wanted to say...

I'm up for giving life with glue a shot.

It's a yes.

I'd have to be crazy to just walk away now,

simply because you made me wait like an idiot.

Well, I... I mean...

I'd like to introduce... my partner.

And now Arthur's stepfather,

and our dog, Darth Vador.

You too?

- Is there anyone not into love? - No, that doesn't exist.

I mean... Other than dead people.

You okay, bro?

I don't know how to get her to talk to me again.

For me, love is having appetite for life.

It gives you desire for everything. It makes you hungry.

Since I met Morgane, I eat ten times more than before.

And I eat everything.

Dany, can I ask you a favour?

- Yes, of course. - Give me the pool keys for a night.

What are you up to now? The police station wasn't enough?

No, no way.

If someone drowns, it's my responsibility...

It's not dangerous, it's for a girl.

I really like her, it's my last chance to...

Anyway, there'll be no drowning.

If it's for a girl, I'm beaten. Here.

But on two conditions, Arthur:

you say nothing to your mom, and

- don't be so formal with me. - Okay.

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU AT MY PARTY - YAËLLE

Yes?

- Can I ask you a question? - Yes.

Did you lie because I have too many rules?

Yes. I guess it's hard to be a mom and dad,

- you have flaws of both. - Yeah but,

like today, I had a meeting but I didn't go.

Because I thought about what you said.

I'm not tough, I just want what's best for you. It's not the same.

But trust me a little, so I can know what's best for me.

Sure, but it's not easy.

Not long ago, you were this tall, and now you're...

Raising a daughter is harder than facing ten revolutions.

It took me ages to know what I wanted to say.

This was the hardest exercise I've ever had.

Now, I know for sure that love is getting to know you.

It's being with you to do everything and nothing.

It's also being without you, thinking about you all the time.

It's when someone takes up all the space.

When it makes you vulnerable but strong at the same time.

It's full of contradictions, both easy and hard to understand.

Since I've gotten to know you... I'm ready.

It's not easy, but I'm ready to go forward.

I want to say sorry. I'm sorry, Ouassima.

That's why the ukulele is there.

It's for you. With my 80% water and 20% electricity

I love you like crazy.

I'll say nothing, or I'll look like a fascist again.

But that kid's getting on my nerves.

Even though it's life, as you say!

Don't worry, dad, we'll clean it up. Can I keep the ukulele?

That's "stubborn" in Arabic.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Go put those noodles away.

Arthur!

You're running around like Usain Bolt? You'll get a stroke!

I just wanted to wish you luck for your job.

You already had the stroke, then, I started last week.

Actually, I wanted to tell you...

I'm going out with your life-guard.

You okay, Arthur? Shit, I'm sorry... I know it's brutal but...

I didn't know how to tell you...

Are you serious? This is bullshit, how you drop this on me.

You used protection?

Yes. But I especially want to start a new life with him. And you and José.

Your mom's having sex with your teacher. I have no words.

He's not your teacher, he's a life-guard. Arthur, wait.

- Do you hate me? - Mom, don't talk nonsense, grow up.

You're way too hormonal.

I'm kidding!

You really think I hadn't found out?

Swimming caps and pharmacies, you really took me for an idiot!

Live your life, mom, have fun! We're good, with José!

A FILM BY ADELINE PICAULT

SINGLE MODEL