Original subtitles

But I might die tonight.

Doing just what they all say.

Work hard, boy, and you will find.

One day you'll have a job like mine.

Because I know for sure nobody should be that poor.

Just say yes and think low.

Because you happen to say so, say so, say so.

Hello? Oh, Susan, come to my office, please.

Right away.

As you know, the job pays reasonably well. And if you work hard, who knows,

may end up behind this desk one day.

Come in.

This is Nick.

Michael. Oh, I'm sorry, Michael.

He's new here.

Tell him about his duties and, well, he's to start at once.

Turn that off.

Now... You get your wages every Saturday.

Good, son.

Thanks a lot, guv. Uh, none of your guv in this establishment.

It's always sir.

Don't forget.

Please, sir. Thank you, sir. All right.

There's a storeroom there where you can leave bits and pieces.

Cashier's desk.

Down this corridor's the main barbs. Men's on the left, women's on the right.

That's my box room down the end there with the door open. You've got one on

left.

Your first job?

Yeah.

I thought it would be all right.

I only left school at Christmas.

You'll be all right here.

You can leave your coat there.

I'll show you the pool.

Hey, will I be allowed to swim here?

Yeah, any time you want. Hey, hey!

Come on, this way. I'll show you what to do.

Keep going. It won't be so cold.

I'll explain to you about the bar. Oh, that's the toilets there. Both those

doors there.

That, as I said, is your box room on the left.

And that's my section.

Come here, handsome.

You'll get yourself great tips. Even better than mine.

What do you mean?

Number four hasn't been done out. I'll show you what to do in here.

Well, you know, old chap, ladies of a certain age tend to favour polite and

obliging young boys.

So do some gentlemen.

Yeah. Well, first you... I'm not to wait on ladies, am I?

We'll see.

First, you scrub it out.

I know some women would tip you ten bob for nothing, really.

Just for imagining things.

Yeah.

After some of them, this is quite a job.

Then you lay out a clean towel, soap, a dry brush, a mat,

a bathrobe... Can I help you do it? No, it's all right. And wipe the

masterpieces off the wall.

And don't believe everything you read, as the teacher said.

When they're in here, they're all supermen. Right, can you remember all

Um... Towels.

No, wash it, towel, bath mat, bathrobe,

sheet... And? And masterpieces.

Right. A bit rough, but it'll do.

Right, we'll go and get you changed.

You've got shorts and a T -shirt and a white coat like mine.

Here you are, your first customer.

Oh, sir, please come in.

Number five, I think, please, sir. Just down there. Hang on, I'll get a towel.

Did he say number five?

Number five? What's the number?

No, sir. No, please, sir. Number five is down there.

Yeah, number five. This is number two, please.

Sir, come, come, come.

Towel, sir, please.

Towel.

Soap, perhaps.

Soap. Soap.

A bathrobe?

Hello? Hold on, I'll see if she's here.

Susan!

I can't find her.

Sorry. Yes?

Oh, there you are.

There was a call for you.

Sorry.

Who? A man, of course.

Of course.

Mike, be a dear. Look after my section for a bit, will you? I've got to pop out

for a couple of minutes.

There's a customer I know in the waiting room. She's a decent sort.

Put her in cubicle three.

No, but... You're not worried, are you?

All right?

Yeah, all right, Susan.

And, uh, don't call her guv.

The girl attendant isn't here, madam, but I will show you to your cabin.

Lovely.

Your... cabin.

You're new here, aren't you?

Yes. You keen on football?

Yes, madam.

Would you get me a shampoo for medium -dry hair?

You'll find it in the girls' box room.

Come in.

Oh, it's you, boy.

Yes, I'm Prue, madam. Would you help me with this?

Yes, madam.

The buttons as

well. Yes, madam.

Careful, boy. You're so rough.

Sorry, madam.

Will that be all?

No, this is a bloody nuisance as well.

You might as well undo it while you're here.

Look, I was... No, I don't know how.

All right, if you're so useless. Wait a minute.

Here.

Take this and get out.

Oh, no, no, really, thank you. It's OK, nothing, really, it was nothing.

be the first in.

Shoes off.

Have you a good time?

Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help! Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Come on. I thought I'd just rest.

What's going on?

Look, I don't see... Wait.

Wait. It's not as if something really happened.

I mean, it wouldn't look good, would it, if you weren't here with me? Just wait

a little.

It'll soon pass off.

Are you... Are you keen on football?

All the boys are, aren't they?

Just one way or another.

It's always tackle, dribble, dribble, shoot.

Why can't you look into my eyes?

Look, boy.

Stop it.

Stop staring at my tits.

What position do you play in, boy?

Where do you play?

Okay, ma 'am. Well, it doesn't matter. They're all the same now. They're all

playing all over the pit, pushing hard, backing tight, screaming the ball.

Tackle, tackle.

Dribble, shoot, keep your eyes up. Boy, it isn't decent.

Did you see Georgie Best score those six goals at Northampton?

Six?

The second one, when he got his head to it, just a touch, and it flew

in.

Or that other one, when he dribbled across the field. A dummy.

Close, dribble, dribble.

And shot.

No. No, he just... He just pushed it in.

Just glided in.

Slowly.

Just inside the post.

Oh, no.

You can't keep Georgie out.

The manager never comes up here.

What is it?

Oh, it's just some birds up here nesting.

Really?

Here, this is for you.

Ten bob?

From that fat beauty.

How was it, all right?

I don't want the money.

Oh, come on, don't be so childish. You keep it. I don't want it. You keep it.

I don't want it. Mike.

I helped out a bit here while you were busy with her.

Thanks.

Do you see what I mean?

You can pick up quite a bit, really.

You don't have to do anything for it.

Just go along with the gag, that's all I want.

Do you think we'd better go down?

I'll, um... I'll pick them out.

And tell you when to swap.

Shop! That sounds like my dad.

Shop, Michael!

That sounds like... Hey, let's have some service, dear.

Could be my father.

Mum! Dad!

Hey, Mum, please, look, this is for gents only. Nice welcome we get.

It's your mum's bath night, son.

Mummy's boy.

Better late than never, if you ask me, eh, son?

Look, please, Mum, go in the woman's. You'll get the full treatment, OK? Have

full treatment.

How goes it, son?

Oh, it goes all right.

Susan, you know that woman you've got in there?

It's her mum.

So what?

Well, it'd be nice to her. Give her the treatment.

It's too late.

What?

I'd put her in her place.

But why?

She deserves it.

Sue, what are you saying? I told you. It's me mum.

Your mum is a cow.

Sue.

Sue.

Don't say things like that.

It's not nice.

She's a cow.

Your mother's a silly old cow.

Yes. She can't be. She's dead.

I'm sorry.

Good night. See you at home.

Reading on duty.

Mike, I'll see to things in your section. There's a lady waiting. Will

to her?

Oh, my mum left this for me.

Did she?

Go on, go on.

I'm afraid the girl attendant isn't here, but I'll show you to your cabin,

madam. Are you new here?

Yes.

But I don't like football.

Can you fetch me a bottle of shampoo, please? Yep.

Oh, that's no good.

I need a medicated one.

Well, it's no good, it's no good. What can I do?

It's your medicated shampoo.

Thanks.

Sorry.

Sir!

My!

It's good to see you again. How are you? I'm fine, sir. You like working here?

It's fun, huh? Oh, it keeps me fit. Now I'm no longer in your class.

Does it?

Not bad.

I expect I'll be running into you now and again.

In winter, I take a bath here occasionally.

See you around.

Come on, get your clothes off. What are we all laying in a bath for, Pete?

Thanks.

Where do you want it? Let's sit over here.

Cheese and pickle, is that all right? Yeah, great.

Here, look at this.

Right.

I feel like a northern grinder. Look at this. Look. All right.

Boy, look at the old one up on the board there.

But you can't do that, mate.

I never try.

There's always a first time.

Hey, that's her. That's the girl.

Oh, to be a sandwich now that spring is here.

Why don't you go and change in the men's room? You can't change out here. It's

all right. She's seen it all before, hasn't she?

Hey, you can't swim like that.

I mean, have you had it yet?

I mean, have you been up there?

Got around there? Is she any good, is she?

Give us it back.

Oh, you. All right.

Go on, get it. Get your bloody self.

Come on.

Push him. Come on. Push him.

Okay, that's it.

Okay, hold him down.

They're quite dry now.

No good.

You see, it's the same every night in winter. It never starts on its own.

One of these days, um...

Really going to give her one.

What?

That girl, Susan.

Right, Mike, you jump in the driving seat.

And I'll push.

Release the clutch very slowly.

Once we're going at a bit of a lick.

You know how many people have made her.

Yes, sir. Can I help you? It's all right. I've already talked to the

Oh, great.

It's these.

Did you read about these? Can I have one to put in my room? Yes, of course.

Oh, fantastic.

Do you see it in the paper?

What does it say?

It's that thing from the Family Family Association.

The pregnant man.

I think it's a good idea.

Stupid. It's completely stupid.

Cheerio. Bye -bye. Why is it stupid? Because a man can never get pregnant.

That's hardly the point. The point is, it's a shock. It makes you look at it,

and then you think about, perhaps I ought to think about... About what? The

whole thing's stupid.

How could a man ever be like that? You can tell, look, you can see it. Come

here, come here.

It's just... Come here. You can see it's just a cushion.

Shut up.

Sit down.

Put your feet up here.

Come on.

Lie down.

Just relax.

Just relax, just relax.

Hey,

hey, hey, stop it.

I'll be arresting you.

Defacing government.

Defacing.

Would you be more careful if it was you that got pregnant?

What?

Would you be more careful if it was you that got pregnant?

Right. I can't be more careful than I am at the moment.

What do you mean?

Well, I just mean that I've never... Never?

Really? No.

Well, what do you want to do?

Yeah, yeah, of course I want to. But not like some of these people.

Don't get embarrassed. Always going around.

You're all red, aren't you? No, I'm not. No, I'm not. You are, aren't you?

No, why should I be red?

I'm not.

You always go all silly when I talk about sex. No, I don't. You do?

No, I don't.

Would you fancy it with, um... Do you think it's...

The cashier?

Oh, dear.

I'm not joking.

You're, um... Have to stay late one night.

Then you'll see her lonely, voluptuous figure standing waiting for you.

Hmm? I tell you, don't joke about these things, please.

I'm not joking.

Give me a kiss.

Give me a kiss.

You know what, Sue?

What?

I could... I could see you home tonight if you want me to.

You know what?

My fiancé's picking me up tonight.

Nice weather for ducks, isn't it?

Oh, I don't want to.

Why not?

Oh, it's dirty.

You're not going to have one of your moodies again, are you? Come on.

Two eight and sixes, please.

17 shillings, sir. Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, and a packet of those chocolate things.

Treats.

Thanks. Thank you, sir.

surprises even in sexual life. According to my latest findings, a woman has 3

,267 erogenic zones.

So...

Good

evening. There are many misleading theories about the subject of women.

for so -called frigid.

Books have been filled on the subject.

Many, many books.

But these are pseudoscientific studies.

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that there are no frigid women.

Dear friend, it all depends on you. When properly manipulated,

Dear friends, scientifically speaking,

excited, humbled,

you can prepare your sexual partner to the highest level

of sexual satisfaction.

Bloody bastard's touching me up. What?

I'll get the manager. Yeah.

Sue. Sue, you know it's me. It's only a joke.

Sit down.

Yeah, that's him. Sir, you should be ashamed of yourself at your age.

Should I get the police? Do you want to charge him? Do you want to charge him?

Of course I want to charge him. Of course he wants to charge you. I'll get

police. We'll get the police.

Go on then. Right, all right.

Come on, son.

Come on, son. Get moving.

I hope everything's all right now.

Yes, thank you. Enjoy yourselves.

What is the matter with you?

Christ. So you see, a little love goes a long, long way.

What exactly were you doing to her?

I love her.

You perverted little monster.

I'm not a perverted little monster. Let's get that couple in. We can't press

charges without their evidence.

Get them in.

All right.

How old are you, son?

Fifteen.

Fifteen? Fifteen.

Fifteen. And you had no right to be here.

This is an X -film.

They're not there, they've left.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

Well, then there's no charge.

Wait a moment.

Maybe there is.

How old would you say this boy is?

Well, about 18.

15. How come you let him in? 15.

15? Yes.

Performing manipulations of this kind at 15.

But I was... He looks much older.

Well, I'll have to talk to the cashier.

She had no right to sell him the ticket.

We'll know you if it happens again.

We've got a note of your name and address and...

You won't get off so easily next time. Go on, buzz off.

Now then.

Well, gentlemen.

Have a drink?

Gin and tonic.

I only mean that if you want me, you should understand others want me the

way. They like me too.

How can you compare me to him? He's just a kid.

Scaring him is enough.

A kid? Pouring you from behind like that? That's what you always try to do.

Pour me.

Look, why didn't you charge him in the cinema? You said you were going to

him. We've got the manager. Listen, when we're married, you can look after me.

For the time being, just let me take care of things my own way, would you?

This man's trying to molest me. Oh, one of those again, eh? What?

Just one moment, sir.

Look, him again, this little bastard. He's trying to molest me. He's trying to

make any indecent suggestions. He's trying to touch me. Oh. Look, this

bugger was sitting behind us in the cell. All right for now, sir.

Are you charging him, boy, with importuning?

Huh, look, he doesn't even know what it means. Yes, yes, I want to charge him.

All right, your name, sir, please. Look, I can explain this situation to you.

Your name, sir, please.

Is that what? Look, he's gone, look.

Look, I'd still like a name. And what are you going to base the charge? What

it?

Impotuning, sir.

Why are you always doing that?

Well, I could use extra bob.

Anyway, I'm bored.

Everything gets boring after a time.

Your fiancé seems a good sort of chap.

He's OK?

He phoned me first thing this morning.

Yeah? Yeah.

He must have a few, Bob.

When's the happy day?

Not just yet.

But I might decide tomorrow, as a matter of fact.

Tomorrow?

Why tomorrow?

We're going to buy the ring.

Do you think I should have a diamond or a ruby or maybe a sapphire?

Afterwards,

we're going to go and have something to eat somewhere, I expect.

A little celebration.

Then we're going to go to Skull.

Skull?

What's Skull?

Mike, what are you doing?

It's a nightclub. Mike, stop it. Stop wasting my cotton.

Here, give it to me.

It's all dirty.

Look at you, Dan.

Amanda, excuse me, could you please... You're not allowed in here. Could you go

outside? This is for the attendant only, you know.

Keep an eye on my section, would you, Mike?

Just a moment.

Now, just a moment.

Who did it?

Ladies. Ladies, return to your section. You're not allowed to mix with the men.

There is no fire. I know. I know. It was a false alarm.

I apologise for any inconvenience caused.

Return to your cubicles.

Now then.

Don't think I don't know what's going on here.

Unpunctuality. Tea leaves thrown down the toilet.

Cigarette ends in the cubicles.

And there was a dirty towel just lying in the main corridor.

Tuesday afternoon.

Just say it doesn't happen again.

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Stop it!

What a monster it goes on forever.

She knows who has to clear this out.

She's started it going anyway.

Keep in here, out of the way.

Good afternoon, son.

I'd like to know where your, um... toilet

is.

Oh, toilet.

Toilet. Yes, it's, um... You see the 123 on the left? Thank you.

Get out of my way.

Bye.

Stay out of my way. You're crazy.

Hey. Sue, pack it. Sue, pack it up.

Sue, pack Susan.

Don't stop my bike.

You're ruining my bike.

Mike.

There's a customer for you in my section.

No. I told you, Sue. No more swapping. Oh, it's not. She asked you by name. She

knows you.

Kathy. Kathleen something. Kathy?

Your girlfriend.

I'm going.

Kathy, where are you?

I'm here, Mike.

Don't be so shy, Mike.

Come on in.

What brings you here?

The bath, of course.

Your service has become quite famous, you know.

No, really, the boys told me you were here.

You had a fight over that girl, didn't you?

Yep. She's not my girl. It's just that they were asking for it. I was just

curious.

You never phone anymore.

What's the matter?

Do you still want to...

Look, Mike, it's all right now.

Since you've left, things have happened. Kathy. It's all right now, Mike.

It's all right now.

Kathy, stop it.

I don't know how to explain.

It's not you.

You're all right.

It's just that, I don't know, that old scene seems so strange now.

As if it were someone else. Not me at all.

I'm sorry, Kathy.

Let me take it, madam.

You'd like some of this, wouldn't you?

Susan, can't you see I'm busy?

Of course, I'm very lucky not having a weight problem. I can eat almost

anything.

You were very quiet this morning. What's wrong with you?

Just sign.

Excuse me. Excuse me a moment.

Can I help you?

Have you seen a couple come in? The girl's a redhead. Very good looking. You

couldn't miss her.

Oh, one went in about ten minutes ago.

With a dark, balding gentleman. Oh, no. The bloke's got a lot of hair.

Sort of horse face.

Oh, actually, there were two gentlemen.

Good evening, sir. The other man may have been a bit horsey.

Are you? Oh, fine. Thank you.

That could be them.

Yeah,

I'll take a single.

Are you a member, sir?

A member? No. In that case, I'm afraid you can't go in, sir.

Not unless you want to enrol and pay your membership fee.

Well, how much is that?

Three guineas, please, sir.

Three guineas.

Fill in this form,

please.

And I'm afraid there's another twelve and six for your first drink.

Hello, darling. Good evening.

Yeah. Take this.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Look, couldn't I go in without a drink just this once?

Oh, I'm afraid it's not possible under our rules.

Do you still wish to join?

I might use a little loose. Certainly.

Enough.

Hello, Angie.

How's your life going? Good, sir. Good. Thank you. That's my fiancée. Well done,

eh?

Are you going in?

I'll see you later.

Thank you.

I'm terribly sorry.

Free me, madam.

Sorry.

Step this way, please.

Sorry.

Warmer inside, sir.

Hop in.

How much is the hot dog?

One and nine, sir.

Yes, yes, all right.

One and nine, please, sir.

Thank you very much. Thank you, sir.

Live show, sir. On now.

Only ten bobs. She takes everything off. Film show, too, sir. You find it very

educational.

Hot dog, please.

With mustard?

Yes.

One and nine, please.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Live continuous trip, please. Shows on now. I've seen lovely girls. Nothing on

and nowhere to hide.

They're all beautiful, not a stitch on. All comes off here, everything's on

show. They move, they dance, everything moves.

It's a beautiful show.

Good treat, Joe. Some of the lovely virgins in here, sir.

Every one hand picked by myself.

Are you coming inside, sir?

Hey, you're coming inside. You're going to see the show.

Worth every penny you've got.

Ten bob to get in, sir. Ten bob, three bob. Hey, what are you doing with that,

sir? Put it down. Hey,

put it down. As naked as the day they were born, only bigger and juicier.

Nothing on and nowhere to hide.

Step inside, sir. The show's on now.

Continuous show.

Step right inside, sir. The show's on now. The show's on now.

Where did you get this poster?

Angelica Continental, born in Manchester.

Why don't you ask her for yourself if you can afford her? Very expensive girl.

Step right inside, sir. The show's on now.

Eighteen beautiful girls. Nothing on and nowhere to hide.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Hold on

Um, it's me.

A customer? A customer, yes.

Can I come in? Yeah, of course you can.

I'll be busy now.

Well, dear, what can I do for you?

Could I stay for a while, please?

Please do. Welcome.

Don't be shy.

Could I wash my hands?

Yeah, over there.

Thank you.

You've got a match.

A match, yes.

You're all trembling. Why?

Well, I've been running a lot.

Have a drink, won't you?

Thanks.

Well, how much is it?

Be my guest.

Oh, thank you.

Why don't you take a glass?

Um, why make it dirty?

Well, I... Hey.

What do you do, boy?

Are you at school?

Um, no, I work.

Where?

Come on, sir, where is she? Where's Angelica?

I'm a public bath's attendant.

Nice job, is it?

Well, it could, yeah, it could be worse.

Pays well?

Yes, quite well. I got my first ten quid today.

Oh, today.

Any tips?

Um, yeah, ten bob. I got ten bob once.

Tim Bob?

Well, he must have been a queer. Must have fancied you. No, no. Be careful,

No, really. It was nothing like that. It was a lady. A lady? What did you do for

her?

Nothing, really. I think she was a bit soft in the head.

Kept on talking about football.

Oh, we're probably in the same line.

Football, huh?

Are you a football fan?

Yes, I am. Hang on. Come here. Let me show you something. Come.

Look.

You know him?

Yeah, yeah, he's great. He plays for West Bromwich.

Yes. Well, uh... Um... I see you're not

working, so I'll have to go.

What do you mean, not working?

I've never needed work more.

There's no insurance in this kind of business.

Do you know how much I'm worth?

No. I used to take five quid for a short time.

It's two pounds ten now, of course.

Close the door.

Oh, it's Angelica.

Do you fancy her as well?

Do you know this girl? Do you know her? Well, it depends what you mean by know

her. Yeah, but you know her name.

What do you do with all your money, boy?

I keep three pounds and give the rest to my mother, but do you know this girl?

Seven pounds? Seven quid? You're mad.

What do they need it for? They've no shame. Well, they feed me now, but this

girl... No, they should.

They brought you into this world, haven't they?

They've had their fun. They can pay now.

They all want to have it free.

So you've only got three quid left.

You can't imagine the things we can do for three quid.

Yes, but you said two and a half.

Yes, two and a half, of course. Hey, let's not waste any more time.

Where do you need her?

There? You just want to see her when you do it, is that it?

It's easier for you, eh?

No, stop it, please.

I'll stop it. Look, I have to go now.

You think you can just go and leave a girl in this state?

I don't have to pay, do I?

What do you think?

You've had my time, my drink, my emotions.

You've made me nervous.

Look, come on, stop it. Give it to me.

Give me the thing. Give it.

Come on, where is she?

Socks. Come on, give her... Yes, socks. Where is she? Come on, you pervert.

Come on, I want her back.

Hey, come back. Come back.

Come on, come back. Hey, hey.

Come back, you two. Hey.

Come on.

Yeah, you dirty foreign pervert. Come back here.

Can I help you, sir?

Yes. Did the young couple come out yet?

No, I don't think so. But they were here.

I think so.

Excuse me, sir. Would you please ring this?

He tells you about Christ.

He wants to talk to you today about the Lord Jesus Christ.

There are two things you can be certain of in this life.

One of them is the fact that the sun is going to rise tomorrow morning.

The other is the fact that one day there's a coffin waiting for you.

The Bible tells us there's no way out.

These men gave it to me.

Oh, not that, the hot dog.

Oh, hot dog. Just here, look. I'll show you.

Do you? Yeah.

Have one. They're nice. They're very good.

Oh, go on, thanks.

Here, look. Hey, over here.

Look.

Oh, they're lovely. Two more customers for you. Oh, I'm ever so hungry. I'm

starving. Have one.

What are they doing?

Do you know what they're going on about?

Do you know what they're giving out? Do you know what they're going on about?

Here, we're going to have a hot dog, then.

It smells stupid. Hey, go on.

Three hot dogs, please.

Mustard? Yes. Oh, please.

Yeah. Don't laugh at them.

Oh, thanks.

Is?

Oh, thanks very much.

Five and three, please, sir. Oh, they're hot.

Five and three.

I don't have any change. No.

You don't?

Here. He's got a queen.

Here, shall we sing?

Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.

Aren't you going to sing?

Thank you. Which way do you say Piccadilly was?

Piccadilly, yes.

It's just down there. You can't miss it.

Ready? Oh, come on.

Ready? Come on.

Um, no, sorry, because I've eaten too much. Please, sir. Really, sorry, I

mustn't. With my compliments, sir.

Yes, please, with pleasure, yes. Thank you very much.

73 Cornwall Gardens.

Leicester Square 2.

73 Cornwall Gardens. Leicester Square 2.

No, we've only got the fat for tonight, haven't we?

No, we're almost married.

Leicester Square 2. 73 Cornwall Gardens.

Sir?

No, no, no. Everything's out.

Everything's coming.

It's all right.

18 fantastic girls. Nothing on and nowhere to hide.

Want to see the show, madam?

It's a lovely show, madam. Come and see the show, madam. It's marvellous.

Show's on now.

18... Hey!

Hey! Hey, hey!

Come back!

Look, Sue, look at this.

Mike!

Where'd you get that? What is it?

What is it? That's exactly what I'd like to ask you. What is it? What do you

mean? I mean it's you, isn't it?

Oh, it does look like me, doesn't it?

Well, it is you.

All right.

Is it you?

What do you think?

No, you're not like this, Sue. Like what?

Like that.

Look at it. Is it you?

I'm much worse than that.

It can't be you.

Why?

Because you're not like that. What am I supposed to be like?

Look, let me sit down.

It's you, isn't it?

Well, you may cut your own mind about that.

If I were one of your... Yeah, what would you do?

What would you do?

Would you buy me a ring like that?

How much do you think that costs? Look.

Look at it.

How much do you think that costs? Ten quid. Ten times that much.

I'll buy it for you, sir. I'll buy it for you. Don't be silly. I've already

it. Give it to me. Give me the ring. You're mad.

Susan, sit down. You've got to tell me whether it's you or not. Sit down,

I've just about had enough. Stop it.

What do you think you're bloody staring at? Sit down and behave yourself. Go on,

look at it. Look at it.

Do it.

Just sit down.

Give me my coat.

I suppose you're going to see him now.

After you got engaged to the other one, now you're going to see him. Well, you

can't because he sleeps with his wife. It's no good, huh? I'll just have to see

him some other time then, won't I?

Has he seen the poster?

Has he seen it? Has he seen it? Because I'll show it to him tomorrow at the

races. I'll show him this and see what he thinks of you then.

You're not going to the races, are you?

Don't worry, I won't cause you any more problems.

Keep them moving left and right. Come along.

You'll soon be off.

Now get in line, boys. Get in line.

Hey, you get back in line.

I've got to fix my shoelace.

On your marks.

Get set.

Will you try and stop me?

You little bastard. Who the hell do you think you are?

Come here.

I've just about had enough of you.

My tooth. I'm sorry, Mike.

I'm sorry. I was very angry.

My tooth. You've knocked my tooth out. You shouldn't have done that to his car.

But you've knocked my tooth out. I've said I'm sorry. Give me a mirror.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Not your bloody tooth!

Look!

Oh, shit.

It's not my tooth.

You didn't spit it out, didn't you?

You didn't swallow it? No.

Oh, God.

Help me look for it.

How big is it? How big is it? You saw it yesterday.

Do you know how much that costs? Sue.

Oh, he's going to be really pleased with this. Sue, it's no good.

That's just great.

Sue, it's no good. Stand up, Sue.

Sue. Look, will you help me? You're only treading it into the snow. Stand up.

Oh, Christ, yeah.

Stay where you are. Don't move.

Oh, God, this is impossible.

Don't move.

Oh, it's so stupid. Stay in the circle.

Stay in the circle, Sue. Anywhere.

Don't move. I'll be back in a minute.

Piss off.

What's that bloody dog doing there? What are you trying to do?

Go on.

What are you looking at me for?

Oh, yes.

Well, then what?

Leave it to me. I know what I'm doing. I just hope you do. I just hope you do

for your sake.

Don't move around, Sue. I'm not.

I keep thinking I see it.

Look, I'll make a path.

It could be anywhere.

Oh, God, it could even be on me. Now walk in the path.

Right, now come out.

Last little bit.

I don't think we missed any.

I hope not.

You didn't swallow it, did you? No, I didn't swallow it. Here, take this. Can

you manage?

Yeah, come on.

Where are we taking it? To the baths, of course. Go on.

It's empty.

Yeah, I know. I forgot they've emptied out for the weekend.

But it's okay. We can still use the bathroom. No, I think everything's

up.

Well, look, I'll have a look in the manager's office. That must be open.

Hey Sue, look what I've found.

Where are we going to plug it in?

There's nowhere here, I don't think.

Hang on, I'll just try these lights.

What are you going to do with it anyway?

You'll see, watch.

Now switch them off.

Right. Put on the light.

All right, now come and help me.

Did you lose any on the way down here?

Yeah.

I picked it up again.

Right, now we can start bunging it in the kettle. Give us it. All right.

Put some in there.

This one.

Mine, now. Look, if you can't do it properly, I'll do it by myself.

Oh, much as it will never find it, it's going to take hours to do it like this.

Don't worry, we'll find it sooner or later.

We'll try it down here, quick.

What are you going to do?

Pour it down here.

Won't it go right down the grating?

No, it should be all right. This will stop it. Are you sure?

Yeah. Right, now pour it here and it'll trickle out down there. If you see the

diamond, don't touch it because it'll be hot.

Wait a minute, I've got a much better idea.

What? This is a much better idea.

What? Hang on a minute.

Mike, don't be silly.

There's no time to get embarrassed.

Look, strain it through these.

Through that?

Yeah, come on.

We're in your tights. It doesn't matter. Come on.

That diamond's worth 1 ,200 pairs of tights. Come on, you put it through.

not that valuable.

It is, I told you. All right, ready?

Price, what do you think all this is for? Okay, hold it then. All right, get

with it, for God's sake.

Don't let it dribble down. I'm holding it, aren't I? Okay.

I'm only doing my best. I know, come on.

Don't burn me.

Keep your fingers back, keep... What's that?

Wait a minute.

No, it's not.

Keep looking for it. All right.

Mike, he's looking for it. Keep quiet.

Go on.

Keep quiet.

Keep quiet. It's all right. Go away.

All right.

All right.

All right, let's get a minute.

Take it up there and watch the monster.

Sue, are you there?

What the hell are you doing there?

I was knocking at the door, didn't you hear me?

Why didn't you answer me?

I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What have you done to my car?

You punctured two tires.

I can't even remember when I punctured one.

Give me the key.

Give me my cap.

Give me the keys.

I'm awfully sorry. Give me the cap. Come on.

I'm awfully sorry. I don't know where they are. Have you got a spare set?

But I gave them to you. I've said I'm sorry. I don't know what I've done with

them. That's all.

Come on. Give me the cap.

Oh, you bloody cat.

Right, now listen.

Get your coat and your bag and come here.

Serves me right.

Mixing with stupid kids.

Hurry up.

Hurry up.

Come on, come on, get a move on.

No, I won't.

Susan, what's wrong with you? Will you stop ordering me about, that's all?

But I must have my key.

Have you got a spare set of keys or haven't you?

Yes, I've got a set. Where are they?

They're at home. I can't go home and ask my wife for the keys. Not this time of

night. I can't go out again.

Well, that's your problem, isn't it? If you've got a spare set of keys, you're

all right, so you can piss off.

Piss off?

After all that I've done for you?

Piss off.

After what?

After what you've done for me?

After what? What?

I'll tell you what you've done for me.

You've spoiled everything.

Everything. Why the hell you had to be the first? I'll tell you why.

Because you had to be the first with everyone, don't you? You couldn't bear

be second. Then they'd have something to compare you to.

Then they'd see how bloody hopeless you are.

That's why you're so kinky for schoolgirls.

They don't know any better, do they? Poor little things.

They think you're really quite good, don't they? They think it's quite

the way you grope and push, and you're so bloody hopeless!

You make me sick!

What do you think you've ever done for anyone?

You're pathetic!

You're pathetic!

How you ever make it with your wife, I don't know, if you ever do.

Well, I thought we could do this one. Oh, come on. Let's do one at a time, for

God's sake.

All right. How annoying.

I'm sick of being ordered about.

Oh,

God, I'm dropping bits now. All right, that's enough.

Come on, just turn it on and get this melted.

Bring those down, will you?

Hey, what if you have swallowed it? I told you so. I haven't swallowed it.

Yeah. Come on.

God, I'm so hungry.

Why not?

It's going to take hours, isn't it?

I think I'll phone Chris, tell him I'm going to be late.

I think I'll phone Chris, tell him I'll be late.

Chris?

Hello, darling, it's me.

I'm going to be a bit late. There's been an accident here at the bar.

Oh, it's nothing serious. It's a burst pipe.

Well, how do you expect me to feel? I'm furious.

Because I live near here and the manager's away.

Well, I have to stay till they finish.

Don't you believe me?

Well, that's great. That's great. That's all I needed to hear. I expected a bit

of sympathy, but... I'm ringing from the manager's office. You can ring me back

and check if you don't believe me.

5 -2... Yeah, you know the number.

Right. Now, I'm not saying I'll definitely be late. I just might be.

He's fallen hard at work.

You can hear. Listen.

Mike, what are you doing? I wasn't on the phone long.

Couldn't you work without me?

Mike, what is it? You ill?

Oh, Mike, come on. Let's get on with it.

I know you're tired, but come on.

Mike, what's the matter?

What are you doing?

Did you find it?

Mike, did you find it?

Where is it?

Oh, Mike, come on, don't mess about. You've found it, haven't you? Where is

Mike, where is it?

Give it to me.

Come on, give it to me.

Where is it?

Don't swallow it.

Give it to me. Give it to me now, Mike. Come on.

Don't swallow...

It's all right, mate.

It's all right.

Oh, Mummy.

Chris?

Hello, darling.

Guess what? They've just finished.

Yes, I won't be late.

I've just got to get dressed now.

I've got to put my coat on.

Yeah.

Me too.

Very much.

Sue, please.

Please don't go, Sue.

Please, Sue, I... It's all right.

Please, Sue, I just want to talk to you about it. No, Mike, I've got to go,

honestly. Look, Sue, you can't just change like that after being like that

then just go like that.

Mike, take it easy. Sue, please, just don't talk to me about it.

Mike, just leave it. I'm going home. Just bear with me, Mike. You've talked a

lot about it, Mike.

Mike, let's just go.

Everything's going to get wet, Mike.

Come on, let's get out of here.

You're blooding down.

Get in.

Come on, get in.

We're not having no time for you to stay here and explain to me. Mike. Just tell

me what I should do.

Please,

just leave it.

No, no, no, no, no.

Why must I die tonight?