Original subtitles

- There are people who want to close us and we want to stop them.

- If we think this merger's a good thing?

- I thought the point was to keep the school open?

- Last thing we need is word getting out some of our own parents don't support us.

- Have you seen your doctor yet? - He's referred me for tests at the hospital.

- Leo, give it to me now, please.

You can collect it at home.

- What's up with you? It's just a game.

- You little tramp! - Listen to you, you'd go with anything! - Filthy, two-faced... - You went with her mum!

- He wouldn't, how could you say something like that?

- She'd say anything. - You're vile.

- She's horrible.

PHONE BEEPS

- Shaz, catch me, go, go!

- THEY LAUGH

- Am I a god or what? - Er, what!

- You didn't reply to my text.

- It was four o'clock in the morning. What happened?

- Nothing. Everything. Follow me.

- You coming in?

- We smashed the next level! She's Argentinean, I think she's into me.

- You wanted to see me?

What?

- Nothing.

You look...

- Thank you.

- Shall we get on with it? - Yes.

Um, I would like Lorna to

accompany you to Havelock with the PTA, this morning.

Steph Norton will be doing everything

she can to turn the PTA against us.

- So it's our mission to bring them back united against merging the schools.

- The local authority has set up both the trip this morning

and the forum this afternoon as impartially as possible,

but I still would like Waterloo Road to come out on top.

And Steph Norton to remain a voice in the wilderness.

- SHE SCOFFS

Isn't a facilitator from Parent Sight coming here to chair

the forum? - She is. But I will be there too.

Both as head and as concerned parent.

- Well, better get out there, before Norton gets on her soap box.

- Yes.

- If we merge with Havelock,

our children will be part of a peer group that's more aspirational

and less likely to be distracted by a culture of loose morality.

- If that's all you wanted from a school,

you should have moved into Havelock's catchment area.

- Knock 'em dead, yeah?

- You bet!

You and me against the world, right?

- Yeah, right.

- Is this what you call breakfast?

What time did you get to bed?

- Ask him. Must dash. Bye!

- You've got to learn to take care of yourself.

You're 15, not five.

- Mum, leave me alone!

- Morning, everyone. Havelock is a great school.

But so is Waterloo Road, and we can learn from each other.

Which is why I'm sending our deputy head along with you.

- I'd rather see your teachers in our children's classrooms.

Mrs Fitzgerald has taught at both schools.

She's more than capable of coordinating the visit.

- Steph asked me to come. Sorry, I thought you knew. - We need to get going.

- Fix bayonets, we're heading into enemy territory!

PHONE BEEPS

CHILDREN CHATTER

- On the move again, I see.

- I was going to mention the constant loud music,

the fact you seem to always be moulting and the way in which

my cups seem to be forming little flashmobs in your bedroom.

But I thought it would hold things up.

- I'd say you nailed it.

You might have at least said something to me...

- Oh, I hope you don't think I'm being presumptuous. - It's your house.

- So it is, yes! Thank you for reminding me.

I'd forgotten that somewhere underneath all those piles

was the place I used to live.

I give you one week before I send in the bulldozers.

- Uh, George. Mr Fitzgerald was asking

if you'd be able to cover Lorna's science class this morning?

- Right, so the workers picking up the slack for the management's

little jaunt?

- Why do you always have to be so negative?

- Why is the grass green?

- Is it me or is she on wheels?

- Audrey, um, he wants you to cover first period.

And Marco, if you could cover period three?

Oh, and this is for you. Special delivery.

Ain't you going to open it?

Oh! Watch where you're going! - Sorry.

- No. Don't worry. It's my fault.

- Here... - Oi! It's private.

- What is it, Sonya? Sonya, what's up?

- Please. I don't want anybody to know.

- It's OK. Talk to me.

- You know them tests I went for?

Well...

..they was for cancer.

I've got to go this afternoon and get the results.

- OK, I didn't know.

Look. You don't know anything yet.

Try to stay positive, OK?

- Thanks, Guy.

(Please...don't tell anyone.) - No.

- I thought your dad took your laptop away and banned you. - I stole it back. I've got a war to win.

- Yeah, so now I've got to get her a prescription.

After everything I've done for her, she...

- She sleeps with your boyfriend.

- Ex-boyfriend. She's not even sorry.

Every time we argue, she just throws it back in my face.

What you looking at? Have I got three noses or something?

- You'll go blind if you watch too much of that stuff.

- Oh, no, no, it's nothing like that. We're playing World Quest.

I'm a Shadow Warrior.

My brother's seen us. Let's go.

- What's with Bonnie?

- I dunno. Maybe she thinks there's something going on between us.

- Yeah, but there's not.

- No. Course not.

TEXT ALERT

Pshew!

SHE GASPS

- Darren Hughes, you are absolute filth, sending me texts like that in the morning.

- THEY LAUGH

- You must be Mr Bond, it's a pleasure to meet you.

I'm Lorna Hutchinson.

- Hello... We've met, haven't we?

- No, I don't think so.

- Yes, I'm sure we have. Hutchinson? Um...

W-w-where did you train?

- Excuse me.

- Hi, Olga. Gosh!

Is this a fact-finding trip or an invasion?

- I'll let you be the judge of that. This is Steph.

- Hi, Colin. Steph Norton. We met when I came with Carrie.

I can't look at the place without thinking what might have been.

- Right, yes. Well, you never know what the future might hold now.

- OK. Let's show them where they can shove their merger.

- Hassan, this is Colin Bond.

- A great, great honour, sir.

- Shall we get started, folks?

- Ah! - Sorry I'm late, sir.

- No, no, no, no, um...the floor is all yours...

to present your homework to the class.

- Right...um...

Um, Paul Verlaine etait ne le...

- Paul Verlaine was last week.

And your work certainly doesn't bear repeating.

So, this week was Baudelaire?

- I thought last week was this week. - GIGGLING

I'm trying to save you from a detention here, Leo,

not unravel the mysteries of time.

- I've not done it, sir.

- I've not done it. That's it, is it?

No "aliens stole my textbook"?

Or "my mother put it in the spin dryer"?

Or "it's been optioned for a Hollywood blockbuster"?

Just, "I haven't done it."

- Yeah. Sorry, sir.

- Well, I'm sorry, Leo. And I'm sorry about your shambolic timekeeping

and the fact that your work of late seems to have fallen off a cliff.

And you're frittering away a genuine linguistic talent.

You can do it later in detention.

- Sir, I can't, I've got stuff to do with Abdul.

I promise I'll finish it by the end of the day.

- You most certainly will.

So, has anyone written about the correct poet? Lucy?

- Miss, can I go to the loo?

- Uh, yes. Don't be long, Kenzie.

PHONE BEEPS

- If she can't read or write, then how can she send texts and use a tablet?

- Er... voice recognition, obviously!

- Well, there seems a wonderful range of extra-curricular activities here.

- We offer a rounded education.

- I saw her five minutes ago.

You're getting them to walk round in circles to impress us, aren't you?

- Hassan's sense of humour is something of an acquired taste.

- Carrie would so love this, Colin. - Any child would.

- Still, it isn't a holiday camp.

Any chance we could see the educational facilities?

- This way.

- BELL RINGS

- Someone's nicked my phone.

- She's got it! - Hey!

- Hey! What's going on there? Now, come on.

On to your next class, please. Come on, quickly.

Has anybody seen a book?

GEORGE CLEARS HIS THROAT

- Anything we can do to help, Miss McFall?

Right, well, it must be thrilling for you all

that you all have an extra lesson with me now,

even if it is just a free period.

- Sir, have you got a spare copy of the Baudelaire?

- I'm sure I can get you one

if I think you can all behave yourselves.

Hmmmm.

- Abdul, check this out.

It was lying on the desk.

- Hello. Are you OK?

- I don't know where our science class is this afternoon.

- Well, that's why we have an interactive timetable, er...?

- Susie, sir. - Susie.

- And I have looked. It's saying, "classroom unavailable". - What?

- If I were you, Susie, I'd go and ask for help at the school office,

I'm sure they'll sort you out.

- Yes, of course it's me.

You promised me it would be ready by lunchtime.

I've got 20 kids with exams coming up

and a science block that isn't fit for purpose.

- Our entire school's not fit for purpose compared to this.

- Sorry. I'm going to have to leave you.

Our new sprinkler system malfunctioned

and flooded the science block at the weekend.

They want to cancel another class.

- Why don't you come back with us?

We've got a great lab facility.

- What about your pupils? - Well, what are you teaching?

- Fusion.

- Great. We can run a joint class.

- Well, I'd need more time to prepare.

- We're talking a science class, not the Olympic Opening Ceremony.

- Yes, well, our pupils' educational needs are paramount. So I accept.

- Don't you guys need to get back?

- Yes. We've got classes after break. So...

- Well, we parents have got three hours until the forum.

I feel like we've just scratched the surface here.

- Yes. Who'd like to see some more of the school?

Then you could get a lift with my class to Waterloo Road

in one of our air conditioned coaches.

- That sounds great. - Aye, sound.

- (Traitors...) - You'd better stay on, too. Stick up for us.

Enjoy your visit.

- "She came out the shower, dripping and screamed.

"Rodrigo stood with a towel.

"'Sorry to intrude, senora. I forgot my conjugation manual.

"'Tell me, have you ever had a man make love to you properly?'"

- I didn't know you cared, Abdul.

On with your work, please.

It's Spanish, Leo.

Roughly translates as, "You have devilish wind, Beastslayer."

Unlike this...

which translates as,

"Sorry, got to go. Just had my computer confiscated,

"which I now have to pick up from the headmaster's office

"at the end of school." - Sir, you can't!

My dad'll kill me. How am I supposed to do my homework?

- The same way as Baudelaire did.

Pen and paper.

- Sonya! Sonya! Has a book had been handed in at all?

- What book?

- You'll know it when you see it.

- I ain't in the mood for games, Audrey.

- What?!

- It's a chance to show off. We've got something they haven't.

A great science facility.

- We've also got the user forum. Where are the parents?

- They're coming after lunch with the science class.

- You left our PTA at Havelock?

- Steph Norton got the jump on us.

- Didn't you two used to be teachers?

OK, I'll try an easier one. Does this look familiar?

Leo was playing computer games on it in class.

- I see. Well, thank you.

- We should get to work.

- Yeah, this has to run like clockwork.

- Look, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings,

but Leo is something of a Waterloo Road rarity.

A child with potential.

The problem is, he's not realising it. - I'll speak to him.

- Well, make sure that... - George! I said I will deal with it!

- See this? I've decided to do my project on genetics.

Since my dad never really talks about my mum,

this is a good way of, you know, actually finding... What are you doing?

- Since when did you become a swot?

Look I've only got battle credit for six hours to get past

the dragon guarding level 87.

If I don't go now, I'm going to get left behind.

What use would you be in Demon Territory anyway?

Good job I've got Electrovita to battle with me.

- So I'll capture pollination through to flowering

by setting the camera to film at regular intervals.

- Fantastic, Carrie. Can't wait to see the results.

Who's next?

OK, Abdul.

- My project is on genetics.

A sort of, "Who Do You Think You Are, Abdul?"

Er, it's a way to get back to my roots.

If my mum was here, I'd ask her.

But she isn't, not physically.

She is here as a part of me.

- CLASS: - Awww...

- So...

- WORLD QUEST MUSIC

- Oh, you stupid idiot!

Give it back to me!

- I just want to use...

- Stop that!

- Leo! Give it to me! Leo! - Just let me have it! - Stop that now!

- Let go of the laptop! Give me the laptop! - Let go!

- Now, listen to this next section, because the rhythm and repetition

sounds like hoof beats.

"Cannon to right of them, cannon to left of them,

"cannon in front of them, volleyed and thundered."

Try it.

ALL: - Cannon to right of them, cannon to left of them...

- All right, keep going!

The Light Brigade wouldn't stop for Miss Hutchinson!

- I was going to get Marco to take the science class with Havelock...

- Good idea, he can give them a few real world insights.

- But there's been a fight in his class. He seems out of his depth.

- What happened? Tell me you can take the class instead.

- That's not why I'm here. Leo started the fight.

A computer got smashed.

- How could...? All right, I will talk to him.

In the meantime, treat him like any another student.

If he has misbehaved, he must be punished.

I will pay for any damage.

- I am treating him like any other pupil but if he was,

I'd be getting his parents in and asking if everything is all right.

- I hear you. I will talk to him as soon as I can.

In the meantime,

tell me that you can take the science class this afternoon? - Yeah.

- Good. Except for you, sit down.

BOYS MUTTER AND SNIGGER

- I wasn't aware Jude the Obscure was so laugh-out-loud funny.

Give!

Nanette de Vallois. Is she on the syllabus? No.

So let's get back to Thomas Hardy, shall we?

- Was that his porn star name, miss? - STUDENTS LAUGH

BELL RINGS

- Anyone want to claim this? - No, you enjoy it, miss.

- Off you go!

- OK. That's time.

So what did you do to Mr D'Olivera then?

You forgot your pad.

Hey, the Zombie Lord.

- You play World Quest? - Yeah, I used to play when I was at uni.

To the point where I had to choose between my degree

or the game, actually. It was a close run thing.

- Just got to level 87, Demon Territory.

- No way! I never got that far.

- It's amazing. I could show you on your tablet.

It won't work on my phone.

This will blow your mind.

- Mr Fitzgerald!

Er, Leo was just telling me about World Quest. It's a game...

- I know what it is.

Did you ask Mr D'Olivera why Leo is here?

- No.

Yes.

I'm not really sure.

But Leo seemed troubled, so...

- He's supposed to seem troubled.

He's in detention...

for playing computer games.

What's got into you?

- There you are. Everyone's waiting for His Master's Voice.

- You're not getting your computer back. - What?

- And you're grounded and we're going to talk later!

Now go and get some lunch. Stay out of trouble.

- My tablet, Leo.

- FEEDBACK OVER PA SYSTEM

Your attention, please, everybody.

'Today, while their science lab is out of action,'

pupils from Havelock High will be here to attend classes.

STUDENTS: - Boo!

- We will also have the PTA here for a meeting.

- We will also hosting a wedding, two bar mitzvahs

and a Scots Guards regimental dinner.

- 'I expect you to extend the hand of friendship

'and offer a great big Waterloo Road welcome to all of them.'

- It's like they're asking turkeys to help hang out stockings for Santa.

- So we can count on your support, then, George?

- I'm sure they'll find a cupboard for me to hide in somewhere.

Is this yours?

- Oh, I'm not that desperate.

Yet.

I confiscated it from my S6s.

I'd like you to give a talk, a brief talk, to the Havelock pupils today.

- About what?

- Cycling. The Dale story so far...

- Look, talking's really not my thing.

- You need to make it your thing.

All the stage win interviews on the Tour de France.

- Exactly!

- Oops, naked again.

Not exactly A Hundred Years of Solitude, is it?

- You didn't tell me why Leo Fitzgerald was in detention.

- You didn't ask.

- We're going to have to rethink our plan for this afternoon.

Havelock need to see us at our very best, and look, after earlier,

I don't feel confident you can cope on your own.

- That was hardly my fault.

Look, I've prepared a lesson plan and I think you'll be impressed.

Let me take it. I'll make sure we both come out...

- Have you reflected on how you handled your class earlier?

- There's no need.

I did nothing wrong. It was the pupils' fault. - I'm sorry, Marco.

You can't blame the pupils for your own shortcomings.

I'm going to take the class.

I'd like you to be there, but you'll be assisting me.

- TEXT ALERT

Oi!

- Why won't you let me see?

- Cos it's none of your business.

Why are you being so off with everyone, Bonnie?

- If you've got a problem, say it to my face!

- What face you talking about?

Your old one or your new one?

- Is there a problem, Bonnie?

- No problem, miss.

- Leo! Where are you going?

- I'm not going to class!

I need a break.

I need to go home.

- You look absolutely terrible.

What's the matter? Come with me.

- Heads!

- It's so, so funny! Pure filth. Proper filth.

It was absolutely hilarious. Ryan, you know the book...

- See? She's looking at me like I'm a serial killer.

- Yeah, well, you must have done something.

- She might have seen them texts on my phone.

- What?!

I'll get her with a head shot, me.

- Nah, don't. You'll make things worse.

- Absolutely wild, right?

So it gets to this point, there's this one really, really dirty bit

and she's soaking wet and she's ripping off her clothes

in this church, right, and she's like...

Sorry, miss, didn't hear those tiny feet of yours.

- Would you be referring to a novel entitled The English Tutor,

by any chance? - Yeah.

Mrs Mulgrew confiscated it. - Did she?

- I mean, I've had a dip...

- STUDENTS LAUGH

- ..in the book, the book!

- Yeah, I have, miss. - Me, too!

- Me, as well! - And me.

- Well, I hope you all enjoyed it.

- Nah, I prefer pictures.

- So, have you read it then, miss?

- I have a passing acquaintance with its content, Rhiannon, yes.

- Yes, well, Mrs Mulgrew wasn't too impressed by it.

- Really?

Well, there is a great deal of snobbery

where literature is concerned.

This work belongs to a genre

which is written primarily to give pleasure.

Unlike Mrs Mulgrew, I am perfectly prepared to discuss its merits.

- What are you doing? Get up! - He's not well.

- He hasn't slept! He's been playing that stupid game again.

- It's not stupid! - You gave him his laptop back?

- No, he stole it back.

- Why can't you find something to do in the real world?

- Because that world is better than this world!

Anyway, what about all those terrible soap operas you watch?

- They're real...ish. - All that cricket you watch.

- That's to relax.

- Look, it's not that we don't want you to enjoy yourself.

Is it, Vaughan? - No.

But if you do want to live on Planet Zog, you do it in your own time.

After your grounding from us.

- Why don't we get him out in the fresh air?

- Leo is allergic to fresh air.

- You could take him fishing or something.

- BOTH: - Fishing!?

- Look, Havelock are going to be here in a minute.

- Dad, I really don't feel great.

- It's fine, leave him with me.

Come on, let's see how you feel when you've had some sleep.

- Good afternoon.

Hello.

Hi, hello.

Colin, good to see you again.

How's Kevin getting on?

- Oh, he's a real star, isn't he?

And we're not the only ones who think so.

He's on his industry placement this week

and I got a glowing report in this morning. - I'm glad to hear it.

Good afternoon, everyone, welcome to Waterloo Road.

We have an interesting afternoon lined up for you.

- Mr Fitzgerald? Miriam Hurlock, from Parent Sight.

I'm really looking forward to hearing

what your parents have to say. - Me, too.

- OK, Havelock pupils, follow me.

- No place like home, Mr Fitzgerald.

- Havelock was wonderful.

- MUMBLES CHILDISHLY: (Havelock was wonderful.)

- Could someone take this? It's for the science class.

- Uh, Leo? Where are you going?

- I'm not feeling well.

- Well, you can't just walk out of school.

Have you told your form tutor?

Right! Take this to Miss Hutchinson, please.

- I was hoping to see my former colleague, Miss McFall.

- I doubt we'll have time.

- LOUD THUMP

- Careful!

There's a computer in there.

- You see, what enslaves our protagonist, Morag,

is her oppressive upbringing.

Without fantasies, her world would be a poorer place.

Throughout history, erotic writing has had a place in human society.

We are all sexual beings, are we not?

- Yeah. - Well, I am, miss.

- Welcome to the sexual realm,

where fantasies about submission and domination

can add a whole new dimension to people's understanding

of sexual love.

CHRISTINE CLEARS THROAT LOUDLY

BELL RINGS

You saw our texts, didn't you? - Of course I saw them!

- I don't know what you're so upset about.

Me and Darren were only having a laugh. - A laugh?!

They're disgusting, they scared the hell out of me!

- I'm sure you've heard of stuff like that before.

With all the boys you've been sleeping with.

- Colin...I...

- We like to encourage our pupils to explore their sexuality,

don't we, Mr Fitzgerald?

- We spend most of our time at Havelock trying to do the opposite.

- Pleased to hear it.

- Our aim is to equip our pupils with information

which will help them make sensible relationship choices.

Shall we begin our meeting now?

- Have you finally taken leave of your senses, Audrey?

- PUPILS CHANT: - Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

- Bonnie, what you doing? Get off me!

Bonnie, stop it! - Rhiannon!

- PUPILS CHANT: - Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

- OK! That's enough.

- She attacked me, miss!

- She's been sending me horrible texts.

- Pastoral Care. The pair of you.

- And I thought sex was all they ever thought about in this school.

Now, I see there's violence too.

- Where have you been?

I'm so sorry about this. We're waiting for you in the lab.

- Wow! This place is so cool.

- CHUCKLING

- Isn't it just? Right, Havelock, follow me.

- Why are you in here, Leo?

- Uh, my bag, please.

- I need to get to the bottom of this.

- Well, I've prepared a class. Do you want me to get started?

- Thank you, I'll be there as soon as I can.

Mr D'Olivera will be there to assist.

Now what was the meaning of that?

- She's been sending me texts.

It started off with sick insults and stuff

but now it's photos and private stuff.

- No, I haven't. She's got it wrong.

- She admitted it. - Can I have a look, please?

I hope for your sake you didn't send these, Rhiannon.

- Of course I didn't. We're friends.

At least I thought we were...

Look, I didn't show her them because they're private

between and me and Darren.

He can be a bit filthy.

- These texts aren't going to win any awards. But they're private.

They're between Rhiannon and Darren.

They've got nothing to do with you, Bonnie.

- I'm sorry.

- Be careful before you go accusing people!

- Rhiannon, can you go to your next class now, please?

What made you so sure Rhiannon was sending these texts?

- It's no big deal.

- We have a policy on bullying.

Look, do you mind if I copy these?

And I'll speak to your mobile provider.

- No, don't do that.

- Whoever sent these texts deserves to be found out and punished.

We can't just sweep it under the carpet.

Listen, Bonnie,

telling me is the hardest part.

You're not on your own with this.

- I know you think you're doing the right thing

but you're just going to make it worse.

So, uh, welcome, everybody, and can I introduce Miriam Hurlock?

- Thank you, Mr Fitzgerald.

I'm from Parent Sight.

In any education merger consultation,

the council call on us to represent the views of the users.

So this is a unique opportunity for you, the parents,

to have your say about the future of your school.

Perhaps we could start with making a list

of the pros and cons of the proposed merger?

- Quieten down! Will you please just keep quiet?

- I'm Marco D'Olivera. - The trainee?

- Actually, I'm a fully qualified probationer.

- Well, in that case, you'll have no trouble powering that up.

Now, today, we're going to have a look at fusion.

How two chemicals come together and produce something more,

something different...

- VOICE FROM COMPUTER: - 'To resume your quest, Shadow Warrior, select A.'

- PUPILS LAUGH

- Turn it off, man.

How on earth has this happened?

I can't access my lesson plan.

This computer has been tampered with!

- If it helps, I've prepared a class.

- All right.

- OK, everybody.

We're going to do a really fun experiment

but first, let's mix it up between the schools.

Come along now.

Hurry up.

- I'm Susie. - I'm Carrie.

- I don't want you to touch anything until you've got your glasses on

and I've given the safety talk.

- Is it always this random here?

- Havelock offers its pupils every opportunity.

- Yes, but it seems that some parents are concerned

that their children might slip through the net at Havelock.

- Well, the schools serve two very different communities

and so require two very different outlooks.

- Um, the kids from school house don't have parents to speak for them

so I'm here to do that.

- Where did you get that?

- We found it in Windsor's bin.

- Bing bong!

- They take up time and effort,

and, yes, precious cash,

but it's so worth it.

You know, when you see them achieve...

God knows where they'd be without this school!

- Hear, hear!

- Um, speaking as a parent,

I think that the mix of pupils here brings a buzz

and an energy to the place.

Students leave this school

feeling that nothing is out of bounds to them.

- FEEDBACK OVER PA

- This book was recommended to us by our history teacher, Miss McFall.

- Rodrigo was sweating

over the standpipe. A jet of water

squirted up and across her front.

- PUPILS LAUGH

- "Oh, it is you, my English tutor," he exclaimed...

- No!

- Morag tore off her

wet clothes and threw herself down naked in front of the fire.

- I'm sorry, I don't know what that is.

- Seconds later, a cough

and Rodrigo stood framed, au naturel, in the doorway.

"I am but a humble plumber.

"My only skill is to be - how you say..."

- Just an English lesson.

- See? This is exactly what I'm talking about.

- "So you're good with your hands, Mr Sanchez?

"That's an increasingly scarce talent in my country,"

came a voice which Morag barely recognised as her own.

"Tonight, with your permission, senora,

"I will tutor you and our subject will be the language of love."

- Why don't we all have a nice cup of tea and cake? - Yes.

- "Take me, take me, por favor!"

He circled her like an angry bull.

His hand stretched down and touched her. She cried...

- Stop! Stop! Stop! For heaven's sake, stop!

SHE PANTS

We will not tolerate this sort of behaviour. Will we, Mrs Mulgrew?

- You two, return to class,

and then you will be in detention for weeks!

- FEEDBACK

I would like my book back, please.

- No.

I'm confiscating it.

- Eh, have you seen Dale?

Mrs Mulgrew's looking for him for his big talk.

- No.

HE SIGHS

PUPILS: Whoo! Wahey!

- Thank you, everyone.

- The talking book, I assume?

Not sure they deserve to be in class.

- Let's just concentrate on science, shall we?

- Well, I've let Mr D'Olivera take the class. He's doing a fine job.

- Thank you, Mr Bond. Unless you'd like to take over, Miss Hutchinson?

- No, I need to go and talk to the head,

so keep up the good work. - We'll be fine.

Here. You, put these goggles on.

Shaznay with me. Sit over there,

and Lisa, there's a spare place there.

Carrie will bring you up to speed.

- Lisa, this is Susie. We're doing the reactivity of metals to heat.

- What you talking to her for? She's the enemy.

- Don't be silly, Lisa. She's nice.

- We'll show you how it's done.

- No...

I'll show you how it's done.

EXPLOSION SCREAMING

- Get me some water, Mr D'Olivera.

All right, all right, let me see.

- There's a kind of glue that binds the pupils together here.

You won't find that in another school.

- Are you all aware of this camaraderie?

- What is it, Abdul?

- Can you come to the science lab, sir? Carrie's had an accident.

- Oh, my God!

Are you OK?

- I'm fine, Mum. Honest.

It was just the shock.

- The girl responsible wasn't even in the room for the safety talk.

I made it clear that, in my opinion,

she should never have been allowed in the lab.

But I was spun a line about how troublemakers need to be

given second chances.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to report this.

Our parents are very litigious.

- Hmm. As the senior teacher,

weren't you supposed to be supervising?

We'll get Carrie checked, but she seems OK,

and of course, we will conduct a thorough investigation,

but for now, I thought

your pupils might like to meet one of our sporting heroes.

It'd be a good insight for the user forum.

- Great, thanks.

- SIREN WAILS

- Ms Donnegan?

Have a seat.

So, I'm afraid there are a few issues we need to discuss,

Ms Donnegan.

- Oh, really?

- There are some abnormalities with your liver,

which aren't dangerous yet

but they could lead to diabetes in later life.

- Right.

- But, the good news is that the lump is benign.

Nothing to worry about.

- Oh, thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much.

This is our library...

Um, let's see if we can find Dale.

- Yeah, diet's important.

Um, what you eat...

..um, and drink.

And, um...

sleep, sleep's important too.

You've got to just make a plan and stick to it.

- Any more questions?

- The night before a big race, are you allowed to...?

- PUPILS CLAMOUR

Thank you.

A round of applause for Dale.

THEY APPLAUD

Let's hope that this time next week, we will have a champion in our ranks.

- Thank you, Dale, and thank you all for coming.

So, if the parents would like to stay behind,

perhaps we can all try and draw some final conclusions from the forum.

- OK, everybody, thank you.

- Excuse me. Let me out.

- SHE SOBS

- I saw you come in. How did it...?

- Oh, Guy...

I was so scared!

Thanks. I needed that.

Oh! Come on, Sonya, get a grip.

- So, what did the doctors...?

- Oh, I've got to change me lifestyle, obviously.

Watch what I eat and what I drink.

Everything.

It's such a lot to get your head round.

- Yeah, it is.

Look, I've left a class unattended, let's talk later.

- Oh, of course.

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

- I'm here for you, OK?

- Yeah.

- OK.

- Thank you.

Leo? What are you doing?

- Sonya! Leave me alone!

- I think you should give me that!

- It's not yours to take.

- Give it to me, please.

- Get...OFF!

- Aagh!

IN-GAME MUSIC PLAYS

- Well, it's been an eventful day.

But I have to conclude that the parent voice

is certainly open to the benefits of a merger.

- Great news, well done.

- I'm sure that on any other day, the vast majority of our parents

would have spoken out against the merger.

Is it possible to organise another forum?

I'm speaking here as a parent as well as a teacher.

- Mr Fitzgerald, Leo's broken into your office

and he hit me with a computer.

- Are you OK? - Yeah, I think you'd better go and find your son.

- Leo, open the door now.

Leo, we have a problem here.

- Just leave me alone. - That's not an option.

HE SIGHS

All right, get away from the door! - What?

- You are going to apologise to Sonya

and then you are going to call Abdul and replace his laptop

and then you'll clear up the library. - Then what?

- And then you're going to come to my office

and we're going to have that talk.

- I'm sorry things didn't go to plan.

- We all have bad days, can't be helped.

I've got it!

Alice and Jack's wedding, three or four years ago in Bath.

We were on the same table together. All the teachers lumped together!

- No, that wasn't me.

Sorry, it must have been my double.

See you, Colin.

- Hey.

PUPILS CHEER

Can't bear to leave?

- Can't bear to go home.

- Your mum?

So, don't go. Not yet.

- Why are you being so nice?

- Why do you think?

So, I guess that means there is something going on with us.

- Bonnie, I need to talk to you.

Look, whoever's doing this is a coward.

Maybe now it's out in the open, they'll stop.

- I could have sorted it. Now, I'm a joke.

- Well, I'll talk to them.

- You don't get it, do you? Just leave me alone!

- Our main priority is Bonnie.

She's rattled and it's got into the pupil group,

so we just need to make sure we handle it sensitively. OK?

- I'm not going to lose my career over today, am I?

- My sister nearly lost her sight.

- Guy's right.

Maybe you should think a bit less about your career

and a bit more about your pupils.

- I mean, hey, maybe next week,

you can teach your pupils to blow up the school.

- I, um, apologise for all the mayhem it's caused,

but could I please get my book back now?

- Have you got something to tell us, Audrey?

"Morag is a middle-aged governess

"with a strict Presbyterian upbringing.

"She has always kept her passions tethered. Until now."

Remind you of anyone?

- Christine, just give me my book.

- Ah, yes. Your book.

I did, um, I did google Nanette de Vallois.

Biography was a bit sketchy.

Quite like a good literary mystery, don't you, Christine?

- Such as, how did our Miss McFall come by this literary proof?

And Rodrigo had a penchant for rhubarb jam.

Well, that's not very Spanish, is it?

- OK.

I wrote it.

THEY LAUGH

- Thank you!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a literary star in our midst

because the celebrated author, Nanette de Fallois, is in fact,

in reality, none other than our very own Miss McFall.

- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

- Why didn't you tell us?

- Where do I start?

- The pub? - Oh, yes!

- This achievement calls for a celebration.

You coming, George?

- Probably see you there.

- Can I...can I have everyone's attention for a second?

It's about Sonya.

- What about Sonya?

- She didn't really want anyone to know,

she still doesn't, actually, but...

- Spit it out, Guy, what is it?

- She's got cancer.

Sonya's got cancer.

HE SIGHS

What a day!

Can anything else go wrong?

- It already has.

Bonnie Kincaid's being bullied.

And we don't even know who by, it's a cyberbully.

- Cowards.

So, do we have a plan?

- Our local community support officer's coming in

first thing tomorrow to put a strategy in place.

- Poor kid.

Well, it's a fitting end to a day where we looked to make

a good impression and ended up confirming everyone's worst fears.

- It's my fault. We needed more time to prepare.

- Wouldn't have made any difference.

The pupils had the chance to show off their school today

and instead they decided to run amok.

- We can't blame the pupils.

- Well, teachers weren't much better.

The support of the PTA could have swung it today,

but instead it's a nail in our coffin.

- Good night.

- Good night, Miss Hutchinson.

Did you talk to Sonya?

- Yeah.

She... She got this cut.

I didn't mean to hurt her. She just got...

- She just got in your way?

- You going to throw me out?

- Second chances apply to you too, Leo.

But this can't go on.

- You know, it's just, I feel like

everyone's on my back the whole time.

But when I'm in the game, it's the opposite.

Everyone's telling me how awesome I am.

- Leo, the game's not real.

You have to get your life back in balance.

It'll be tough at first, but you'll develop new interests

and we'll deal with the life problems separately.

That's the tricky part.

You're not getting what you need from real life, from school,

from your family, from me. - That's not true.

- Your old man is your headteacher.

That's hard.

I love this school.

But I love you and Justin more and if I'm going to be a good dad,

then I have to get the right balance too.

- I want things to change. - I know.

I know.

Me too.

LEO SOBS

Listen, we could always do what Mum suggests - take up fishing.

HE CHUCKLES

Go home.

Get some sleep.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

I went to university in the '60s, for heaven's sakes!

We had some wild times.

I decided to write it all down.

I got a book deal and it's taken on a life of its own.

- Hasn't it just?

- Nice to talk to you.

- Mind you, the midlife crisis affects us all in a different ways.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- Would the term "cougar" mean anything to you?

- I can assure you, Audrey, I am not having a midlife crisis.

- Oh! Here comes Sonya.

- Sonya!

- Don't all get up on my account.

Come and join us.

- How are you, Sonya?

- Oh, I'm all right.

I think the blood made it look worse than it was.

Oh!

So, that's why you're here. You're celebrating.

Listen, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to congratulate you earlier.

Tell the truth, I was a bit miffed, cos, you know, I tried writing and...

What's the matter?

What you all looking at me like that for?

- Sonya, we know.

- Guy did absolutely the right thing.

He didn't know what else to do.

- I'm sorry, Sonya.

I told everyone...

about your cancer.

- And you can look after yourself!

- There's one person whose fault it isn't

and she's the most upset.

- Can't help you.

- My whole life has been a big, fat lie!

- This says I was born in Pakistan.

- I am focusing.

It's all I've been focused on

ever since there was a place on that team.

- He reckons every gram of weight just slows him down.

- So, what's he been doing?

- Go on, go on! - Come on, Dale!