Original subtitles

- The chemistry... - Are we going to do an experiment?

- You shouldn't be speaking. - Whoo!

- 'They kept interrupting me the whole time.'

Breaking my flow. I can't stand it.

How do you put a stop to that?

- You don't, you can't.

- I don't really know how to do all this.

- Do what?

- The whole boy-girl thing.

- Me and George? Only on April Fools' Day.

- Don't worry, I'm sure there's some toy boy out there desperate

to be your next shoulder to cry on.

- I saw you go in there.

- In where?

- Kenzie's house. With her mum.

- You do anything to me again, I swear I'll kill you.

- I won't.

- Better go.

- Mmm, stay.

- We don't want to get caught, do we?

- Stay.

- No! - Stay.

Stay for a bit longer.

- No, I can't, I need to get back, seriously.

Go.

- So, where are you off to?

- Get lost. - That's harsh.

Specially coming from someone who looks

so gorgeous in her cute pyjamas.

- Go back to bed, Scott.

- Why? Do you want to come with me?

- As if.

- Come on, you fancy me. You know you do.

- I thought you hated me.

- Now, why would you think that?

Why don't you let me make it up to you?

- I thought you liked older women?

- I told you, I don't know anything about that.

- Yeah, right.

- You're proper gorgeous, you know that? Proper, proper gorgeous.

- Yeah, well, you're trouble.

- Yeah. But you like it...

- Do I?

- You know you do.

- You rate yourself.

- Too right. Do you want to come in and see why?

- That would be a really, really silly thing to do.

Night-night, Scott.

- Aw, come on!

DOOR SHUTS

HE WHISTLES

- Just grab a towel...

- I'm shattered.

- Stop whining.

- I must be mad, getting out of my bed this early in the morning for you.

- It'll be worth it when I win that trial.

- Aye, for you, maybe.

- "For you, maybe"!

Shall we?

- If we must.

- Whatever it is, Bonnie, I'm not interested, OK?

- I just wanted to say that I didn't mean for it to happen.

- What?

- You know, the illiteracy thing. I didn't mean to say it.

- Not interested. - Kenzie, you can't hold a grudge for ever. Mates?

- You made me look like an idiot. Why would I want to be mates with you?

- I've apologised a million times.

- I saw you...last night. In the corridor.

In your little pyjamas.

- So?

- So...you and Justin?

- Yeah. What about it? - Been going on for a while, has it?

- I like him. So what?

- What, more than you like Scott? - What?

- Yeah. No-one's safe from you, are they? I saw you snogging him.

- Why do you care?

- Who says I do? I couldn't care less what he does.

What do you think Justin would think of a little snog, though?

- Tell him if you like. It's not like we're going out.

- Yeah, but you're sleeping together, though.

- So? Look, we've got an arrangement.

- A what? - Yeah. Go ahead, tell him. I don't care.

Neither will he.

People should mind their own business.

- What, like you do?

- I can assure you, Mrs Luckman, the merger with Havelock High

is far from definite. Yeah, OK, thank you.

Goodbye.

That is the sixth call I've taken this morning.

The LEA, in its infinite wisdom, has written to the

parents about the merger.

And now more than half of them are convinced it's a done deal.

- Wow. Hope it's not too grim.

- Aren't you heading the wrong way?

- Yes, I left something in the staff room.

- You're going to wear that spoon out.

- What?

Oh, sorry.

- Have you seen your doctor yet?

- He's referred me for tests at the hospital.

- Oh, that's good. Shows you he's being thorough.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

- Where has my kiwi gone?

Hey, at least we get a free period. - Mmm?

- Because of the trip. S6?

We both should have had them today.

- Right. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

- Oh, they new shoes?

That a new skirt as well?

- What, this? No, no, I've had this for ages.

- Oh, for goodness' sake!

- Dear God.

- My taramasalata's gone.

- My Gorgonzola. I went all the way to the deli for this.

They might have left me a mouthful!

- All right?

- No, as it happens.

It appears we have a thief in our midst.

- It's just a bit of cheese.

- "Just a bit of..."? Someone has climbed a mountain

and milked a ruddy goat for that.

For me to eat.

- It's a matter of principle, Christine. A matter of trust.

Something that seems to be in very short supply these days.

- OK. I've had enough of the sack cloth and ashes routine.

I'm not going to apologise any more.

If you two want to play the martyr twins, fine.

But your loss of Mediterranean-based snacks is not the end of the world.

- It's the end of my lunch.

- Welcome to Cheesegate.

- Well, I'm glad someone's managing to make light of it.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have several decades of teaching experience to put into practice.

- You ready for the PTA meeting later?

Steph Norton seems to have drummed up quite a turnout.

- Yep, all set. If we're going to gather up some momentum to stop

this merger, we'd better get cracking.

- Whip up some moral outrage amongst the parents?

- We don't need them thinking the merger's a good idea.

It'd take one disgruntled parent to go to the press

and we'll be sunk by bad PR.

Assembly Hall, morning break?

- Wouldn't miss it.

- Come on, Dale, all the way. That's it, you can do it,

you can do it, Dale, come on!

All the way...

Stop.

You're two seconds off.

Look, I think we'd better go, eh?

- Lenny, if I don't train, I won't be ready for the trial.

- You've got two weeks. It's fine.

- No, go again.

- Dale, come on.

Look, I even relieved this from the kitchen.

- I can't eat that.

- What you going on about? It's a cereal bar.

- I need proteins, slow-burning carbs, proper nutrients.

That's full of sugar.

- But you've no' even had any breakfast.

- I'm fine. One more time.

Come on.

- OK. Go.

- All right, settle down.

Today we're going to be looking at biodiversity and the geosphere.

- Sir? Are we going to get some time off before we go home?

- You're here to work, Rhiannon.

- Well, I bet the other S6s have got free time.

- I know, and they're in Loch Lomond. Us, yeah, middle of nowhere.

- Enough, thank you. They're looking at sedimentary rock formations,

which are more prevalent there.

We're here to find plant species which illustrate how biodiversity works.

So, I want you to think about how these species

fit into the ecosystem.

What's their impact? What's their interdependence?

OK, today's groups are - Bonnie with Justin.

- And me, sir.

- Does he have to?

- OK, if you want, join their group.

And, Kenzie, please.

- I want to be in the other group, sir.

- This one, please.

So, that's Mrs Fitzgerald's group, and the rest of you are with me.

- What? Again? Aw, please, can we just be in your group, miss?

- As a matter of fact, you'll all be out on your own today. - Yes!

- Actually, I will accompany my group, Mrs Fitzgerald.

- (You don't have to.)

- I'd like to keep an eye on things.

- In my experience, kids respond better when you trust them.

They're 18, they'll be fine.

- Thank you for the advice.

My group. Line up in pairs.

- That's so not fair. How can they go on their own?

- Aw, go on, sir, we can pick up plants, it's not a problem.

- You won't pick up anything. You'll observe and record.

- So, why can't we just go on our own?

- My group, back by 12.30. No later.

- Come on then, Bonnie. Don't want to keep the boys waiting.

- You're not spitting fire at me and getting away with it.

- And you're not wrestling dragons and getting away with it.

We've been through this.

- I'm sorry, Dad, I was at an important bit.

- Leo, I've played that game. There are no important bits, believe me.

Leave it in the locker, please. - Come on.

- The dragon will be there at 3.15.

You can wrestle with him then... Vaughan Fitzgerald?

Mr Harvey, I can only tell you what I've told other parents...

- How's things?

- Fine. Mum still hates you.

- Hope I didn't make things too awkward for you.

- I'm used to her.

I found a load of old photos of me and you.

I started looking through them and she caught me. She went nuts.

It's not fair what she's doing to you.

- I'm sure I haven't helped.

- Guy. We both know what she's like.

At least you're looking out for me.

- I've really missed you.

At least we get to see each other here.

- Here? At school. That'll be fun(!)

Not! - I dunno.

At least Mum won't be able to lay down the law here.

- Although species can find themselves competing for the same

resources, they can also depend on each other for survival.

- Is this lichen, sir?

- Yes, Darren. - So, what kind's this?

- Have a look at your lichen fact sheet.

Anyone give me a lichen fact?

- It indicates pollution.

- Is it true it can live in space?

- True, but not particularly useful for our purposes.

- Imagine that, just living in space for ever.

- Oh, get a grip. It's just mould.

- Not exactly true, Rhiannon.

Lichen consists of fungus and a photosynthetic partner.

It was actually a Swiss botanist, Simon Schwendener,

who proposed a dual theory of lichen in the 19th century...

- Can we just go somewhere that doesn't stink?

It smells disgusting here.

- That is the smell of wild garlic.

It's used a lot in cooking, especially in the Mediterranean.

- We could do with that, sir. You know, being in the sun.

- You're in a lesson, not on holiday.

- Ugh, just shoot me!

- Here, the water's over there. Anyone fancy it?

- We've got work to do.

- Oh, what's the problem? Scared your mummy will give you into trouble?

- Shut up, Piglet.

- How annoying is he?

- Very.

- Why don't we leave this for now and go have some fun, eh?

- Exactly. See, Bonnie's up for it. Aren't you, Bonnie?

- You fancy it too, Justin, eh?

- Nah, it's a crazy idea. Come on.

- Well, I'm up for it.

- Brilliant! We could even go skinny dipping.

- Why don't you go in there by yourself, give us all a break?

- Why don't you stay here and tick loads of boxes

and we can go in and have some fun?

- Come on then, it's time to decide. Which way are you going to go?

You can't do both.

- Just leave it, will you?

Right, why don't we all go for a swim,

and then we can come back and finish this later?

- Right, so let's go.

- Come on, it'll be fun.

- Yous coming?

PHONE RINGS

Vaughan? What can I do for you?

- 'Everything OK?'

Looks like the weather's held up for you.

- Are you checking up on me?

- No. I've just phoned

the other S6 group, and now I'm phoning yours.

- 'So that's a yes.'

- I trust all my staff, otherwise I wouldn't have allowed the trips.

- 'Why, thank you, Vaughan.'

But everything's fine. I'm with the kids now

and they're behaving perfectly. Is there anything else?

- Erm, no... - 'Good.'

SHE SIGHS

Just leave him here.

- No. We should all go in.

- All right.

What about you, Kenzie? Coming in?

- Actually, I don't like getting my kit off for no good reason.

Thanks for the offer, though.

- Come on, lighten up. It'll be a laugh.

- Yeah? Tell me when it gets funny.

- You're not going in like that, are you?

- What, and get hypothermia?

I'm all right, thanks, just going to have a paddle.

- A paddle? What, are you, like, 50?

- Cos I'm an adult and you're a kid, you mean?

- Just go in the water!

- Oi-oi! - Come on, it'll be fun.

- THEY LAUGH

Remember our motto - good PR, good PR, good PR.

OK, shall we take our seats?

- Good morning, everyone. - Morning.

- Well, we all know why we're here, there are people out there

who want to close Waterloo Road and we want to stop them.

- Well, anything we can do to help save Waterloo Road...

- Well, that is great to hear.

- And if we think this merger's a good thing?

- I thought the point of this PTA was to help keep the school open?

- I want what's best for my daughter

and as far as I can see, that's Havelock High.

- Carrie's doing really well here.

- In spite of you and your colleagues, not because of you.

And how did Kevin Chalk get a place at Havelock High

when there was no space for my daughter?

- This is really not why we're here.

- I think the other parents would like to hear more about how we can help.

- I'll tell you how he got a place. Strings were pulled.

Strings were pulled for him but not for my Carrie.

I mean, how is that fair? I want answers from someone.

- No, you want an excuse to slam the school. Well, guess what?

I'm proud to be a part of Waterloo Road

so if you won't support us, I can show you the door.

- So you're not even willing to entertain

the point of view that this merger could be a good thing?

Sounds pretty closed-minded to me.

- Perhaps it would be useful to hear the positives of the merger?

- Absolutely.

Do you think Steph Norton will go to the press?

The last thing we need is word getting out

that some of our own parents don't support us.

- Well, let's hope she keeps her opinions to herself,

but somehow, I doubt she will.

- The soil is extremely important in biodiversity.

So we'll test our samples for pH levels.

- Sir, is that a bore-hole over there?!

- CHILDREN LAUGH

- Sir, did you go to bore-ding school?!

- Sir, have you ever skate-bore-ded?!

- You lot kill me!

- Come on, concentrate, please.

- Sir, is your dog a bore-der terrier?!

- All right, that's enough.

Measuring soil acidification is important for fertility

and toxicity. - And it also ruins a day out, as well.

- Something you'd like to share, Darren?

- Where's the fun, sir?

- You're not meant to be having fun.

Look, this, all of this.

If we don't understand it, we can't protect it properly.

- But it's not interesting, though. Like, none of it is. - It's science.

If we didn't have science we'd still be swinging through trees.

- Cool!

- Please, just give us a bit of time off, sir.

We've collected enough stupid soil samples already.

- Soil cannot be stupid, Rhiannon. Only people.

- Do you know what is stupid? This.

- Pick those sheets up. - And these.

- You had no right to destroy another pupil's samples.

Stand up.

Rhiannon.

Rhiannon!

- Yes.

- Get up. All of you.

Now. I said, stand up!

- Courtesy of the staff room.

You have Mr D'Olivera's mug.

He won't know if you don't tell him.

- Thanks.

- And...ta-dah!

- Toffee biscuits. Haven't had these since...for ever.

- Not Mum's favourite snack, if I remember.

- "They'll rot your teeth."

- BOTH: "You'll get cavities."

Remember when she caught us eating them

and we had to feed them to the dog to hide the evidence?

- His jaws got stuck.

Oh, my gosh, there was so much dog saliva, it was horrible.

- Mum nearly had a cow.

- Maybe one night, when she's at a PTA meeting,

we could go for a pizza or something?

- That'd be great.

Have to be after I get paid, though.

SHOUTING

- Someone is always fighting in this school.

Pity you lot having to sort it.

- Tell me about it. Kids!

- Erm, Guy, it is you on duty today, isn't it?

- Hm?

Oh...yeah. Right.

Don't move. Oi!

SHE SQUEALS

- Oh, my God, it was freezing.

- I told you it would be. We should get back.

- What is your problem?

- Calm it down, guys, yeah?

- "Calm it down." Brilliant.

- Kenzie, if you don't have anything helpful to say,

will you just back off?

- You love them fighting over you.

- What's the matter, Kenzie? Feeling left out? You had your chance.

No point in getting jealous now. - You wish.

- You never should've told me to get lost.

- Behave. She only snogged you after she'd been with him.

- I'm sorry, what? You kissed him?

When?

- Last night. Go on, tell him.

- You were with me last night. - With him?

- Shut your mouth, will you?

- So was this going on after you slept with me, or before?

- What? - You better not have given me anything...

- Shut up! - Justin! Stop it. Stop it!

Leave it, both of you, leave it!

Yes, OK, I slept with you both.

It's not like boys don't do it all the time.

It's not like either of you wouldn't if you had the chance.

- You should have told me.

- It was ages ago.

Have you told me everyone you've ever slept with?

Exactly. - I would never have touched you if I knew you'd been with him.

- Shut up, Scott. Leave it! Like you've never done it.

- You're disgusting.

- Listen to you, nose all out of joint.

- Shut up.

- She used you. Ha-ha. Poor Scott. Totally played.

- You little tramp. - Listen to you. You'd go with anything.

- Filthy, two-faced... - Well, you went with her mum!

- What's she talking about?

- I dunno. She's mad.

I dunno.

- I saw you. At her house. - No, you didn't. Why would you make that up?

Why would I do that?

- He wouldn't... How could you say something like that?

- She'd say anything. - Yeah, you're vile...

- She's horrible, trying to get everybody else off her own back.

- Kenzie, it's the truth. - No, it's a lie.

- I followed you. - You're nuts.

She's making all this up.

- 33 Shilden Road. That's where you live, isn't it?

That's where he went. That's where he slept with your mum.

- Oh, my God. - Kenzie, I swear, I didn't go anywhere near.

- You're lying through your teeth. - I'm going to kill you!

I'm going to kill you! - Kenzie. Calm down, Kenzie.

Kenzie. - Get off me! Get off me! - Calm down.

It's all right, it's all right, Kenzie, calm down. - Get off me!

- Kenzie. - He's dead, I'm going to kill him!

- Calm down, calm down.

- Kenzie, wait, please. It's not what you think.

- Go away! Both of you!

- Justin... - I said, go! All right? Get lost.

- Why does he hate me so much?

What have I ever done to him?

- This is very immature. You are aware of that?

I expected more from S6s. Stand up now, please.

Right.

Every single one of you is on report when we get back.

OK. This trip's over. Go on.

Get back to the bus.

- ALL: Yes!

- Whoo!

- 'Bonnie!'

- Don't.

- Bonnie!

- How could he have? I mean... I mean, when did it start?

And how many times did he come to my house and...?

I feel so stupid. I didn't know...

In my own house and I didn't know.

- How would you know? None of this is your fault.

He won't leave anything alone.

- He's going to tell everybody, isn't he?

Just like he did the last time.

- No, he won't. I won't let him.

- Him and Bonnie, laughing at me, and Bonnie pretending

she wants to be my mate and all the time she knew...

My mum... I did everything for her.

Everything since I was little.

And now this...

I'm not a bad person, am I?

- Kenz, none of this is your fault.

None of it.

Mon passe-temps prefere. Anyone?

- Yes! We're into Zerka's Kingdom.

- Hmm?

- What's wrong with you?

- Nothing. Why?

He's going to catch you on that thing.

- Abdul?

Perhaps you'd like to enlighten us

all by giving a brief description of your favourite hobby.

- Erm...

- Mon passe-temps prefere, c'est le cinema.

- Ah, bon, le cinema.

- Mais j'aime bien aussi la lecture et les jeux video.

- Abdul, I hope you're listening to this.

Leo likes reading and video games.

- You're skating on thin ice.

- Moi, j'aime Paris...

- BELL RINGS

- I love the one with the meerkat, he's like,

"Alan... Alan! Steve!"

Have you seen it? - Yeah! Or the one with the cat on the skateboard.

- Oh, he's great.

He's got some moves, by the way, going over bumps and that. - His face! - I know!

- What about the one with the dog who doesn't want a bath?

We watched that one the other week, didn't we, Lenny?

- Oh...yeah, uh-huh, that's OK, that one.

- Yeah, no, I've seen it. It's good.

- What about the really, really drunk guy who pretends

he's not been drinking?

- It's hilarious! - I know.

- He's all over the place.

- You lot are so sad.

- You just couldn't help yourself, could you?

- Don't you dare blame this on me.

You're the one who slept with her mum.

- You didn't have to tell her, though.

- You didn't have to do it in the first place.

- Your stupid big mouth. She proper hates me now.

- Ah, I get it now. This is all about Kenzie.

- No, it's not. - That's what you're upset about, isn't it?

Well, here's some news, Scott, you blew it.

You couldn't have messed it up any better if you'd tried. She proper hates you now.

- Why did I even sleep with you? What was I thinking?

You're nasty. - What, and you're not?

I kissed you and you'd been slobbering all over Kenzie's mum.

- You're not even good looking. And you're rubbish in bed.

And you don't have any friends.

- Never come near me, ever again.

- Fine.

SHE SCREAMS

Bonnie! Bonnie! Are you all right?

Bonnie!

- How did it go?

- Let's just get our bags and get on the bus, please.

I don't think there's any point hanging around here.

- That good?

Look, it's never easy when you first start.

It took me ages to learn to connect with the kids.

Maybe you're just trying a bit too hard.

Perhaps if you were a bit more... spontaneous.

- Spontaneous? - You know, off the cuff...loosened up.

- I know what it means.

Your group are late.

- It's just 12.30 now.

- Exactly.

- BONNIE MOANS

Bonnie, Bonnie, can you hear me? Just keep still.

Don't move! - Scott, you need to help me, get me up.

- Just keep still, don't move.

- Scott, you've got to do something...please!

- I'm going to go get some help. - No! No!

- I'll be back soon, I promise.

- No, don't leave me, Scott. Scott?

- I'll be as quick as I can.

- Is this really what teaching has come to, Audrey?

You and me desperately trying to defend our cheese

and taramasalata while Olga

and that other whippersnapper are going on some jolly.

- Why don't you count the beans, Audrey?

- It's all very well to ridicule, Christine, but theft is upsetting

and irritating, and I for one don't intend to let it go unpunished.

- There you go.

- There's nothing in that tin.

- Well, you can dust it for prints.

- OK, right, well, thanks for letting me know.

- Everything OK?

- Another flat gone. It's impossible to find somewhere to live.

Unless you're loaded and put down a massive deposit.

- Yeah, must be a nightmare.

- It is. Believe me.

- Well, sorry I can't help. I lodge with Audrey.

- It's fine. - So she can't help you either cos I've got her spare room.

Unless you want to bunk up with me.

I didn't mean that...

- No, no, honestly, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

- What am I doing? I just embarrassed poor Guy.

I'm wearing shoes that are killing me and I've got no friends...

- Christine? I ain't being funny, but life really is too short.

You know, you should make it up with them two.

- It's one o'clock.

- Where you going, miss?

- I won't be long. Stay with Mr D'Olivera.

- This is rubbish.

- I feel sick... thinking about them both.

Now I've got to go back and face my mum.

I mean, what do I say?

Look at me, I'm a mess.

Everyone's going to know I've been crying

and they're going to want to know why.

- You look fine to me.

- Yeah, right(!) - You do.

- Oh! - Whoa! You all right?

- Yeah. Thanks for, you know...

- Don't worry about it.

- Hey!

- No, you get away from me.

- You heard her, go on, go away.

- No, it's Bonnie. She's fallen.

- Yeah, off her perch.

- No, down a ravine. You need to come help. Come on!

Come on!

- Come on, man, what's up?

- It would have been Mum's birthday today.

- You all right?

- Yeah, Dad gets more upset than me.

- My head was done in when my parents broke up.

I can't imagine... - Well, I'm used to it. It's been me and Dad for ages.

Just, sometimes, I can't really remember her.

Like, I look at photos and stuff but...I can't remember.

- So, you coming to training tonight?

- Eh?

- Mate, just tell her that you like her.

- Don't be daft. She doesn't fancy me.

- All right, don't.

- OK, here you go. Chicken, spinach and pasta. High protein, good carbs.

As per your diet sheet.

- Thanks, Mrs Budgen.

- Enjoy your training.

- I will.

Excuse me.

- What have you just done that for?

- Not hungry. - Then why did you take it off her?

- Cos she wanted to give it to me.

- You don't mind if I join you, do you?

- No.

- Saw you chatting to Carrie earlier.

You two seem to get on pretty well. - A bit.

- A bit better than that, I think. Do you like her, then?

- I...I suppose.

- Are you kidding? He talks about this girl every single day.

He fancies the pants off her.

- No, I don't. - OK, you don't.

(He does.)

- Right, you heard of Emily Dickinson?

She's an American poet. Carrie loves her.

Believe me, you find her one of her poems, she will melt.

- Justin? Justin?

- You all need to start thinking about your science projects.

You need to pick a topic that's related to the material

we've covered in class.

Yes, Abdul? - Uh, miss, could it be about, like, genealogy and stuff?

- I'm not sure about the "and stuff" but genealogy, yeah, good.

You could look at some of the things we've talked about... - Put it away, she'll clock you.

- ..like hereditary characteristics and how they're passed down.

Hand it over now, please.

- Sorry, miss, I'll put it away.

- BELL RINGS

- Miss, the class is over.

- Leo. Give it to me now, please.

You can collect it at home time.

Come back here and pick that up now.

- I'll get it, miss.

What's up with you? It's just a game.

- She ran and got too close to the edge.

- And why didn't you help her?

- I don't like heights.

- Is there no end to your pathetic weaknesses?

- Scott?

- Bonnie, you're going to be fine, OK? Just don't move.

- Where am I supposed to move to? Just help me up, will you?

- Yeah...erm...we'll call someone for help.

- When can we go, sir?

- We have to wait for the others.

- This is boring.

- Hey, watch out.

- You nearly hit us then. - Don't sit near the pitch then.

- Sir, tell him.

- You shouldn't be playing football here in the first place.

- What else can we do?

- He's right, sir, he needs to do something.

- You just asked me to stop him.

- Well, you're the teacher. If they're bored, it's your fault.

- Give me that bottle.

- What? I'm allowed a drink.

- Why is it fizzy?

- What? - Oh, I know what he's doing.

This is that Coke and mints trick, isn't it?

- I'm not just going to do the trick.

I'm going to explain the science behind it.

So, come on, why is it fizzy?

- So it tastes good?

- So you can do this?

- HE BURPS

- Because in the factory it was pumped with carbon dioxide,

which wants to escape the liquid.

Hence the bubbles.

The mints speed up that process by breaking the surface tension of

the liquid, but more importantly...

- Sir, don't put them in there!

- ..they increase the surface area for the bubbles to...

- PUPILS LAUGH

- Works every time. Hey, do it again, sir.

- Still no signal?

- Come on! - You're going to have to go down and get her.

- How do I get her back up? We'll both be stuck. - Hurry up!

- We'll pull you up. - How are you going to do that, Scott?

You can't even look over the edge. - Please help me up! Get me up!

- So what's your bright idea, then? - Don't just stand there!

- Look, Bonnie? Listen, you've got to stay calm, all right?

- What?

- Try and...breathe.

- Breathe? Seriously? Is that the best you've got?

- It's more than you're doing, Scott! - All right!

- Come on! - Scott, take your jeans off.

- What? Why? - Then I want you to talk to her.

Tell her we've got a plan. - We haven't got a plan!

- I have. Come on, give me your jeans.

- Here you are. Have mine.

- Stop talking and do something! - You tell her anything

that'll calm her down. Go on!

- Bonnie? You OK?

- Have you phoned someone? Is someone coming?

- About what happened before, I didn't mean the things I said.

It was stupid and mean. I'm sorry.

- Bit late for that! - Right, hold on to that.

Both of you, as soon as she's up, grab hold of her.

Right, Bonnie? - What? - Take hold of this, OK?

- I can't.

- Yeah, you can, come on, we're going to get you up.

- I can't. - No, don't look down, don't look down.

Keep looking up, look up, OK? Keep watching us.

Keep looking up.

- SHE SQUEALS

FABRIC RIPS

SHE SCREAMS

Justin! Justin!

SHE SQUEALS

Come on. - You're all right.

- Go on. Go on.

- We're really late. Any idea how we get back to the bus?

- And I can only reaffirm that the merger isn't definite,

by any means...

No, OK, no, thank you, Mrs Armstrong.

Goodbye.

Sonya, we're going to have to get a letter out to parents,

reiterating that there will be a consultation process,

especially after the dire PTA meeting.

- PHONE RINGS

- If I have to take

another call like this...

- I'll get on to it.

- So, how's the school website upgrade going?

- I've got most people's photos, just, um...

waiting on Lorna's.

- You got a minute? - No.

- A thief is operating in the staff room. A prolific thief.

- Well, what have they stolen?

- Taramasalata, Gorgonzola.

You're going to have to do something about this.

- Yeah, I have to go and monitor a class.

- You realise, technically, I'm the victim of a crime here?

- Yeah, I don't know whether you've heard this,

but I'm trying to prevent a merger between this school and a school

called Havelock High and I really don't give a damn about your cheese.

Oh, you're here.

- Yeah, uh, a spillage in one of my classes.

- I'll be monitoring your S5 class later.

- Er...everything OK?

- Standard.

Well...I'll leave you to it.

- So, what was it like to live through the Cuban Missile Crisis?

Now, you need two primary sources -

one American and one Russian, please.

You found something, Lenny?

- I think so, Miss. It's...erm...an American lady.

- Good.

- Carrie? Can I have a word?

- Yeah. What?

- Erm...I'd like to read you something.

- What?

- Do you want to come over here?

- It's OK. You can tell me here.

- All right.

"I hide myself within my flower, That wearing on your breast

"You, unsuspecting, wear me too - And angels know the rest."

- Emily Dickinson?

- Whoo, love poems!

- THEY LAUGH

- "I hide myself within my flower, That, fading from your vase..."

- That's enough.

- "You, unsuspecting, feel for me..."

- Enough. Where did you get this?

- I copied it. I thought...

Well, it was Mr Braxton. He said...

- Mr Braxton? What did he say exactly?

- He said that you'd really like it.

- Hey!

- You told Lenny to read me that poem?

- What? Oh, nah! I just told him you liked her poetry.

- So you're trying to set us up?

- He's a nice kid.

Look, he's obviously keen.

I know Mum wouldn't approve, you know

what she's like about "council estate boys".

I just thought it was sweet.

- It was really embarrassing, everyone was laughing at me.

- Oh, come on, you two look so cute together.

- You don't match make for other kids in other classes.

- Yeah, but you obviously fancy him...

- Actually, he's not my type. So that shows what you know.

- Er, Mr Braxton?

I'd like to see your lesson plan before we begin.

- Yeah, sure.

- It's better you know now. I know you really liked her.

- It's fine. At least I know now how she feels.

- I heard what you said. To Mr Braxton.

- What? No, that wasn't...

- You are not going to make a fool out of him.

- Lenny? Listen...

- Carrie, I think you should just go and sit somewhere else.

- OK, guys, settle down, today is all about books.

TEXT ALERT

DIALLING TONE

- 'This is the Vodafone...'

- You have no idea where we're going!

- Shut up, Scott, I know what I'm doing. - Justin? - No, you don't.

- Shut up! - Where on earth have you been? What happened?

Look at the state of you. Your jeans...

Will one of you please tell me what the hell's been going on?

- I tripped.

- You tripped?

- And the others helped me out.

- You're two hours late. Just get on the bus.

- Any other ideas how to make a kids' book more exciting?

Think about being seven, what really got you...reading?

Yes?

- Make it 3D?

- Yes. Brilliant. So, I have some hand-outs...

..um...somewhere...

Ah, here, here!

Carrie. Give these out, please.

- No.

- What you playing at? Give them out.

- Oh, so you're my teacher now?

Funny you can choose but I can't.

- OK. Lisa, give these out.

I will not have you disrupt my lesson.

- You don't mind disrupting my life.

What are you...?

- Go to the cooler, now!

Next person to speak joins her.

- Any idea what it is?

- Is it a leaf? - Very funny.

Think about the trees we talked about yesterday,

how their leaves identify them.

- Erm...

- Is it a fern leaf, sir?

- Correct. Darren wins the mints.

- Yes! - That's not fair, he's not even blindfolded.

What happened to you lot?

- Look at the state. - Where have you been?

Is everything OK? - Everything's fine.

- Yeah, really looks it(!) - You lot been in a fight or something?

- Justin had a fall. Apparently.

- No, it's my fault, I took a wrong turn.

- What's happened to your shoe?

- What's happened to his trousers?

You lot have been doing something well dodgy, ain't you?

- Inside, get your bags and everyone onto the bus, please.

- So. You letting them get on with it went...well(!)

- Kenzie? I'm sorry.

- I don't want to talk about it.

- The thing with Scott...it didn't mean anything.

- You all right?

- Remember, keep it surprising. Boring books will be banned.

Sorry about Carrie's behaviour, she's not usually disruptive.

- I thought you handled it very well.

- Really?

- Teaching anyone's hard enough, teaching siblings...

But you did well.

You didn't let your feelings get in the way at all. - Thanks.

- Although you are going to have to get on top of all this mess.

- Yeah, sure. I'll get it sorted.

- How's the flat hunting going?

- Erm...

- You know, I found a dressing gown this morning,

stuffed behind a magazine rack.

And a number of food items have been going missing from the staff room.

All of which would tend to suggest that someone may well be

sleeping at the school, and if that turned out to be the case,

then I would have no option but to sack that person.

Especially if that person had had a warning already. Wouldn't you agree?

- Yeah.

- So, I'm going to leave for ten minutes and when I come back,

I'm pretty sure all that stuff will be gone.

- It were well good, you guys should have seen it.

- I know. At least we had a laugh, unlike you lot.

- Have you got any more experiments like that, sir,

that you could show us when we get back to school? - I'll see.

Obviously being with them paid off in the end.

- Obviously.

- I made a real breakthrough today.

- Well, good for you.

- So, I've timetabled in a series of surprising experiments,

drawn up a list of questions and answers.

- It might not have been the experiment that got them.

It might have been the laugh.

- They will laugh when I start with a dry ice bubble.

It'll be fun.

- Sir, will lighting a fart count towards my coursework mark?

- Erm, no.

- 52. Keep going, Dale, come on, keep going. 53.

Oh, keep going, come on.

Dale? Are you all right?

Right, hold on, I'm going to go and get someone.

- No, it's fine.

- What's just happened?

- It's OK.

- Well, you don't just collapse for no reason.

- I'm just a bit tired.

- Right, you need to tell someone.

- No, nothing's wrong, just leave it.

- Are you sure?

- Letters are done. They'll go in tonight's post.

- Right. With luck, that will clarify things.

- Oh. Leo's game.

- Where did you get this?

- I had to confiscate it. He was playing it in class.

He's wasn't very happy. There was a bin-kicking incident.

- OK, I'll have a word with him.

Oh, and can you sort out a photo for Sonya?

We need to update the website.

- A photo?

- Anything recent.

- Yeah, sure.

- What's this?

- It's Gorgonzola from the deli for you and taramasalata for Audrey.

- So, it's you. You're the cheese thief.

- No! - What's going on?

- I've just caught Christine red-handed.

- Look, I was putting it in, not taking it out.

What kind of thief puts things back?

- A guilty one, by the looks of things.

- I bought it to apologise.

- Oh, for heaven's...

What? What are your...?

You stay here last night?

- No...no...

Well, er, yeah, in fact, I did.

And it was me.

I ate the cheese.

- You?

- Prime suspect staring me in the face all the time.

- Yeah, it was me. Do you think I wanted to?

You guys got grants. I got debts.

I can't even afford the deposit on a crummy little flat.

So, I'm sorry I stole your food, but I had nowhere else to go...

..and no money.

I'll put it all back when I get paid.

What were you thinking? In front of Mr Fitzgerald, of all people.

- Oh, messed things up for you, did I?

What about what you did to me?

- What? - With Lenny.

- I was just trying to help.

- You made it worse. Either be my brother or my teacher.

You can't flip from one to the other to suit yourself.

- You're right. OK. It looks like we need to set some boundaries.

Teacher in school, brother out.

You're my only family, Carrie.

I can't afford to fall out with you. I don't want that.

Not after I waited so long to get you back.

- Me neither.

- Come on. You'd better get home.

None of my business, obviously.

Lenny's a nice kid.

Just saying.

Ever have one of those days?

- All the time. Especially recently.

- I can't seem to do right for doing wrong.

- I find that hard to believe.

- Oh, believe.

At least I made someone smile today.

A lovely smile, at that.

- You're more than two hours late. The others got back ages ago.

What happened? - It's fine. A couple of them just got a bit lost.

- Bye, sir.

- Bye, Rhiannon. - See you tomorrow, sir.

- You will.

- Will somebody please tell me what's been going on?

Bonnie, you need to get yourself to the nurse's room.

We'll sort this later. Oi!

You were told to leave this in your locker.

Disrupting Miss Hutchinson's class, kicking over bins

when you don't get your way? What's got into you?

- I'm sorry, Dad.

- We've talked about this, Leo.

No gaming for a week.

- Are you serious? - Yeah, I know. Seven days.

Nightmare.

- TEXT ALERT

Kenzie?

- I don't want to hear it.

- I don't have any excuses. It just happened. It didn't mean anything.

- Yeah, well, not to you. You can walk away from it.

I can't.

- I was stupid, it was stupid and I didn't want it to happen.

Look, I never meant to hurt you.

- Is it still going on?

- No. - But you were sleeping with her when you were with me?

- No, I wouldn't do that.

- Yeah, but you fancied her.

The whole time, you were watching her, you were looking at her...

- No, not when I was with you. I didn't.

- It was my mum, Scott. My mum.

- I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.

- Yeah, well, I'll never forgive you for this.

- That poem you read...

- It was stupid, I shouldn't have even said it.

- "Almost a loneliness." That's the last line.

It's one of my favourites.

I pretended I didn't like it when you read it.

But I did.

- Everybody laughed at me because of you.

- I'm sorry. Look, I really like you.

No, seriously, I do. You're funny and lovely and...

- But I'm not your type. That's what you said.

- Yeah, to Guy, but I didn't mean it.

- This is doing my head in, I don't get it.

One minute we're fine, we're mates, having a laugh,

and the next you're storming off and you're saying things about me.

- I...just didn't want the whole school involved.

Do you like me?

Wow. That much?

- You know I do.

- OK. Last and final offer. A drink down the pub.

- We'll think about it.

- I'm not going back into the doghouse,

especially after you accused me of stealing.

In fact, if anything, you two owe me an apology.

- OK, truce. First round's on me.

Er... I might just catch you up.

- Come on, Audrey. Give me a hand in these heels.

- You're not allowed to stay here.

- I know, sorry. I was just trying to figure out somewhere to go.

- Right. You don't look at me, you don't talk to me.

It's for two nights only.

I use the bathroom first, you use your own towels.

If there's anything missing from the fridge in the morning...

- Thank you, thank you so much.

- Right, we are going to the pub.

I think you'd probably better join us.

- I would like Lorna to accompany you to Havelock with

the PTA this morning.

- It's our mission to bring them back united against merging the schools?

Why don't you come back with us? We've got a great lab facility.

EXPLOSION

- You know them tests I went for? They was for cancer.

- If you've got a problem, say it to my face.

- What face you talking about? Your old one or your new one?

- Fight! Fight! Fight!

- Has a book been handed in at all?

- What book? - Erm, you'll know it when you see it.

HE CLEARS THROAT

- Anything we could do to help?

- FEEDBACK CRACKLES

- I thought your dad took your laptop away and banned you?

- Yeah, I stole it back.

- Why can't you find something to do in the real world?

- I think you should give me that.

- Get off! - Argh!