Original subtitles

Your sister can't keep her hands off me, mate.

- Stop treating me like I'm a child!

I know exactly what I want.

So does Justin. - I bet he does!

- Ooh, I do miss having somebody to cook for.

- We could cook for you. - Fillet steak it is, then.

- Is there a chance you could bring a pair of nail scissors with you?

- I quite fancy the idea of somewhere quieter.

Not London, somewhere good to bring up a family.

- He's my husband. - People split up. Marriages end.

- He needs to leave.

- I've already abandoned him once when I left his mother.

I'm not going to abandon him again!

- If he wasn't targeting my daughter for sex,

then we wouldn't be in this situation!

- MUSIC: A Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope

- Mum! You know what? I bet I'm the only 15-year-old in the world

who has to sleep in the same bed as their mother.

- She's got a point, you know.

It's been almost a week - it's ridiculous.

I miss you.

- No time. I've got to get ready for the design competition.

If you want to get back into our bed,

you'll sort Justin out that place at Brocklehurst.

- # Oh, you are my heaven! #

Sue? "Creative" or "Serious and assertive"?

- Simon, they'll only see your face on screen, you could do it naked.

- Yeah, but how you dress affects performance

and I want to feel the part, don't I?

- You'll be brilliant, as always. What time's your interview?

- Ten o'clock. I've got a free period.

- Well, take them with you and put it on just before.

- Are you worried about Vaughan finding out?

- I don't want to jinx it!

This could be the fresh start we're looking for. - Fine, fine.

- Can you give me a hand, Tiffany? - Yeah.

- It's still going on, I know it is.

Maybe not at home, but it's still going on. - We are doing all we can.

- Make that call, please.

- Just a little tip - take your steak out of the fridge

20 minutes before you're going to cook it.

- Eugh! You little swot. - Er, Rhiannon!

You won't be taking the mickey when you taste this bad boy.

- Exactly. Eh? And everyone knows old people don't even eat a lot,

so the rest is ours.

- Er, Darren, that's not exactly the spirit of the helpline.

- I'm going to be gagging if I have to cut her trotters.

- THEY SNIGGER

- Rhiannon, stop!

Right, OK, you take your pan, put it on the heat and whack it up.

Way up, right? Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum.

Then plop it into your pan,

Two and a half minutes one side, flip it, two and a half minutes the other. No more.

Less if you want it mooing.

- SHE LAUGHS

READS TO HIMSELF

"..two...monkey's bum."

- Yeah. - "..plop in the pan."

Something about mooing?

- I've got it, Maggie.

- Good. Right, well, I will drop you round there later,

make sure it's all legit.

- There's no need. Grace's harmless.

- Not unless she's wearing, like, one of them latex masks.

Imagine that!

Then we step inside and she rips it off

to reveal the face of a sadistic killer

and she wants to chop us up and fry us like that steak.

THEY GIGGLE

- If you could give us that lift, then, Maggie.

- GIGGLING CONTINUES

- Julian, hello.

Yeah, I'm sorry to keep pushing, but...

Really?

Well, that's fantastic. Thank you.

Yeah... Well, I know Justin.

I'm sure he'll be fine once he's made a few friends.

OK, well, let's talk later.

Yeah, thank you. Bye.

- That's brilliant news, thank you.

This is the right thing, for all of us.

I know you feel guilty... - Let's not go there.

- But Brocklehurst is a fantastic school

and it's only a couple of hours away.

This could be the making of him. - BELL RINGS

- School time.

- CHILDREN CHATTER AND LAUGH

- OK, listen up, everybody.

Welcome to the hoodie of the future design competition.

Each pair is going to line up by the door

and, when I give the signal, you'll come up here,

one person'll pitch and the other person will model

and show Mrs Wark... - POSH VOICE: - (Mummy!)

- ..why your think your hoodie design should win the prize. - What is it?

A tour round the Wonka factory? - LAUGHTER

- The winning design will feature in the Wark catalogue

and a run of 100 will be made up at their factory.

- And more, if they sell out.

- I think we all agree it's a very generous offer.

- Slave labour, more like.

- Well, all the proceeds'll go to a charity of our choice.

Good luck!

- Let's not bother even doing it.

- I've got a better idea.

How are you feeling? - I'm fine, stop fussing.

KNOCK ON DOOR

- Hiya. - Hi! - Hello.

- Er, Simon's just about to video call his mother in Wales.

She, er, wants to show him her new, er, kitchen tiles.

She put them up herself. Did the grouting and everything.

- Yeah, she's funny like that, my mum.

- Right, well, um, I just came to borrow a marker pen.

- COMPUTER BEEPS

- Go on, answer it! - All right. Calm down.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Good morning.

- Darren? - Er...

More make-up? - It's fine, I've done this loads of times before.

You won't even be able to see it on camera. Just look up.

OK...

Smile!

Darren, you are really photogenic.

- Am I?

- With a bag on your head! - No, I'm being serious. Come and see.

- I'm all right.

I get a good enough view over my breakfast every morning.

- Oh, my God! Look at this one.

- Oh, I actually like that one. SHE LAUGHS: - Yeah!

- BELL RINGS

- Justin? Your dad wants a word. - Why?

- He didn't say. But he's in his office and he wasn't messing about.

- HE SIGHS

DOOR OPENS

- Kevin?

- Yes, sir.

- The police called earlier. I hear you've been let off with a warning.

- Oh, yeah, that's a massive relief.

- Computer crime - that's quite serious.

You don't need me to tell you how lucky you've been. - Yeah, I know.

Also, I wanted to apologise to you personally.

- KNOCK ON DOOR

What do you want? - Leave.

Door.

- What did I do now? Breathe?

- You're not going to like this, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

I've been talking to Julian Huxtable.

He's an old friend of mine and headteacher at Brocklehurst,

which is a very progressive boarding school

with an excellent academic reputation... - You are joking me?

I overheard you and Allie plotting to get rid of me.

You're actually going through with it?!

- We are trying to do the best for everyone.

- For her, you mean. - If by "her" you mean Allie,

at least do her the courtesy of using her name.

She's been very upset since she found out about you and Tiffany.

- And what about me?! I'm not, I suppose?

- You brought it on yourself.

- I honestly thought you were going to stand up to her, Dad!

HE SIGHS

Where is this school? - Aberdeen.

It's only a couple of hours on the train.

Julian has put himself out on a limb

by taking you so late in the academic year. - Oh?!

Mates' rates, then, is it?

So how come you can afford to pay for this,

but you can't pay for Mum's clinic? - We are very much hoping

that the sale on Allie's house is about to go through.

- HE LAUGHS

- They can take you on Monday.

We'll take you up on Saturday, get you settled in,

get you your uniform and your kit. We'll even buy you a laptop.

- Oh, I mean, there you go - it's all planned, it's great!

Shame I'm not going.

- Justin, you've only got a couple of terms to complete.

This is a fantastic school

where you have a very good chance of getting the grades you need.

- The only way you'll get me to that school, Dad,

is if you drug me first.

Knowing Allie, she's already bought the tranquilliser dart.

DOOR OPENS

IT SLAMS

- Everything OK?

- Yeah. - You and Simon were being a bit weird earlier on.

- Were we?

- Ooh, very dapper, Simon!

Have you and Sue got a hot date later or is it just for my benefit?

- Nothing wrong with making an extra effort occasionally, Christine.

- My doing, I'm afraid.

We went on a shopping spree at the weekend, didn't we?

Spoilt him. - Aw, marital bliss.

You'll be in matching anoraks next. - LAUGHTER

They want rid of me. - What? Who? - Who'd you think?

They're sending me off to some school in Aberdeen.

- They can't do that! - They can.

Dad's already sorted it. - Tell him you don't want to go.

- I have.

It doesn't make a difference.

- I'll talk to my mum.

- It's her idea.

- She's not a monster.

- No, I know she's not, and I know she just cares about you.

And I know I'm just the evil stepson that's taking you away from her.

- What are we going to do?

- I don't know. I don't know.

Look...

Don't worry about it, all right? I'll sort it.

I'll think of something.

- Tiffany, could you give me a hand with this?

- Justin says this boarding school thing is your idea.

- SHE SIGHS

- Well...it is.

And it's not just an idea. It's all arranged.

- You don't even agree with them. You said parents who send their kids

to boarding school never wanted to be parents in the first place.

- Well, first of all, he's not a kid.

And second of all... - We'll be sensible, keep our distance.

- I don't trust him. - What have you got against him?

You weren't like this with other boyfriends!

- You weren't sleeping with your other boyfriends, were you?

Justin's got a real nasty streak.

Maybe...Justin isn't in this relationship for the right reasons.

It's possible he's just using it to cause trouble for me and Vaughan.

- So what are you trying to say? - Well...

It's a complicated situation... - I love him and he loves me! - OK!

OK, well, if that's true, then he'll wait for you, won't he?

- I especially like this one. The way the light hits your cheekbones.

- You look like you need a poo.

- You know, my mum's been talking about adding edge to our catalogue.

I think you'd be perfect.

- Edge? - Darren's about as edgy as a guinea pig.

- Do you mean modelling? - Well, yeah, why not?

- Never really thought about it. - Darren, she's winding you up.

- I'm not, I swear. Look, I'll call her right now.

- Justin, you can't just interrupt!

- Why aren't you in class? - I've got something to say.

I've changed my mind.

I'll go to your school.

- Just like that?

- I've been thinking about it.

- But you were dead against it earlier.

- I know, but, um, I spoke to Tiff and she convinced me it was a good idea.

- When?

- Um, just now.

- What did she say?

- I dunno, just, er, it's not that big a deal.

She's sensible - doesn't fly off the handle like me.

- So you just...changed your mind?

- Isn't it enough I've said I'll go? What's with the interrogation?

Look, if I knuckle down, I can get into St Andrews

and, I mean, I'll still be back for the holidays, right? - Of course.

- And a new laptop does sound pretty cool. - Laptop?

- Yeah, I said we could probably stretch to one.

So you really are OK with this?

- Yeah.

- OK, well...back to class.

Quite a turnaround.

- The Mormon religion was founded by a farmer called Joseph Smith,

who claimed an angel gave him golden plates,

which he translated into the Book of Mormon.

Not everyone was enamoured by Mr Smith

and, in 1832, the poor man was tarred and feathered by locals.

Now, why do you think that happened?

Why do you think the Mormons inspired such hostility?

Any ideas, anyone?

Finally! Thank you for raising your head

above the apathetic parapet of your fellow classmates.

Tiffany, please illuminate us.

Why do you think the Mormons were hounded out of town?

- Actually, Miss, I need the loo.

- GIGGLING

Now, come on.

They totally fell for it. - So what's the plan?

- We're going away. - Where? - London.

My mate Andy's always up for visitors, so we'll go there. - Andy?

- Camden Andy. He's got a sofa bed, so, you know, it'll be fine.

Look, I know it's a lot to take in, but this is all going to work out.

We finally have the chance to start a new life and finally be together.

- Hang on, so we're going for good?

- Well, yeah. - What are we going to do about money? - I'll get a job.

I mean, there's always bar work and I'm nearly 18.

- What about school? My exams? - We'll enrol you into a new school, Tiff.

- But I'm underage - they won't let me without a parent's signature.

- I thought you loved me, Tiff.

- I do. It's just all so sudden and...

Mum is going to be devastated. I'm going to miss her so much.

- Seriously?!

After she planed this whole thing to shove me up to Aberdeen?!

And what about my mum, Tiff?

My dad's just left her an emotional wreck. Did she deserve it?!

I miss her too, you know.

- I'm sorry.

Look, if we're that serious,

then surely we can stand a few months apart?

- What, is that what your mum told you?

Oh, let me guess, she told you that I don't love you too, right?

Look, don't listen to her.

What we have...is special.

I mean, nobody gets me like you do.

Please, Tiff...

..don't give up on me.

Right...so meet me at the gates at the beginning of lunch, OK?

Then we'll go home...and pack... then get the train to London.

I love you.

See you in a bit, all right?

- We've both got the next period free, my mum's studio is down the road,

so if we go after class, she might say yes. - Yes to what?

- Darren being in the Autumn/Winter Wark catalogue.

- As if your mum's going to agree to that.

- I know how the industry works - she trusts my judgment.

- Well, he's not interested. Are you, Darren?

- I dunno. Sounds all right, if I get paid? - Of course you do.

So, what do you think?

- He can't. He's busy.

- Am I? - Yeah. Shopping for Grace's meal?

- Er...can't you do it?

- I'm sure you're more than capable

of picking a bag of chips out of the frozen section, Rhiannon.

- Well, it's a steak, actually, and we've saved up.

- As long as your designs are ready. - They are. - Then I don't see why not.

- Justin?

They can't send you to Aberdeen. It's not fair.

- It's cool. We've talked about it and I'm OK with it.

- I don't understand why you're not angry.

- It's complicated.

- That's what people say when they're just afraid to tell the truth.

This whole thing's Tiffany's fault.

Why did you start...? - She's caught in the middle like the rest of us!

Don't blame her!

- So that's it? You're just off, gone?

- I'd take you with me if I could, OK?

It doesn't mean I don't care about you.

And I'm always at the end of the phone, all right? - Yeah, whatever!

Dress it up how you like, you're still leaving ME!

- OK, well, thank you for the opportunity

and I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah, bye.

- What was all that about before?

- I promised I wouldn't say anything.

- Promised who?

- It was a video conference for a new job.

I think I've really impressed them.

It was Sue's idea. She's got a bee in her bonnet about moving away.

- Why? - Maybe it'll be good for us. You know, new start, new challenges.

The B-word.

Babies, Hector, babies.

I don't expect you to understand, but it's what we both want.

We're going to move on to the next level.

Don't tell Sue you know anything - she's gone all Secret Service on me.

She'll probably have you assassinated.

- Now you've all had a chance to read and digest Vanity Fair,

in your groups, I would like you to discuss the theme of fate.

Do the characters' actions control their destinies

or are they mere puppets at the hand of fate?

Now, I know you like to get passionate about your literature,

but please keep the volume to a dull roar. Thank you.

- See, I don't think it is fate.

Because Becky Sharp totally gets what's coming to her.

You can't act like that and get away with it. - But there's Anna too.

She's a saint, but she suffers just as much.

- Listen, mate, you do know we are all meant to be doing this?

It's not fair if you just cop out.

- Life's not fair - that's the point.

- Who are you texting?

- No-one.

- It's Tiff, innit? Can you not just leave her alone for one day?

- Can we just all focus on Becky Sharp?

- Yeah, Floyd, can we all just focus on Becky Sharp?

About the only girl you can get between the sheets.

- Phone, please.

I'm not messing around, Justin. Phone, now.

Now, Justin. I'm not messing around.

- No.

- No?

Would you like a moment to revise that answer

before things get serious?

- Not really.

It's my last day at this crappy school, so...

- How come?

- Ask your lovely mother.

- Well, even if that is true, I can still make today very unpleasant,

if you don't do what I say.

- All right. Whatever. It's just a text. No big deal.

- Leo Fitzgerald, why aren't you in class?

- SHE SIGHS

- It can't be that bad.

- Yeah, whatever.

- Do you want to talk about it?

- Dad's sending Justin to a boarding school.

- Mmm.

- Don't worry about me, I'm all right.

- What are you doing after school?

- CHILDREN CHATTER

- Stay behind, please, Justin.

- Can I have my phone? I need it.

- This might be your last day,

but, until quarter past three, you're on my watch

and I am not happy with how you behaved in my class.

OK, what time is it now exactly?

- 12:35.

HE SIGHS

Sorry.

What? I've apologised! What else do I need to do?

- You clearly have a problem with authority, but you're going

to have to deal with it, whatever school you end up in.

I could get your dad and you could have this conversation with him.

- OK...I was out of order before.

I was just trying to sort out everything before they make me go.

- Make you go?

- Didn't you see Floyd's face earlier?

I didn't choose to live with them. I didn't choose any of this.

It was Dad's decision, but somehow, it's always my fault,

I'm always the bad guy, it's always me.

Least I'll be rid of them when I'm in London.

- What's in London?

- Er, boarding school.

My dad's sending me to boarding school.

See?

Even you think it's bad. Like they just want to just get rid of me.

Like I'm a problem that just needs to be solved.

- Does your dad know you feel like this?

- I don't know.

No.

It's too late to say anything now anyway.

- Justin, he's your dad! He would want to know how you feel.

Give him another chance.

- I'm sorry for mouthing off at you earlier, Miss.

I honestly didn't mean to take it out on you.

- These things happen. I'm glad you were honest with me.

Haven't you forgotten something?

- You're a good teacher, Miss.

- Good luck, Justin.

- Thanks.

- Tiff?

I just wanted to say thanks.

For persuading Justin to see sense about the school.

I know it must've been tough

and I know it's going to be hard to say goodbye to him, but trust me...

Six months from now,

you're going to look back and wonder what the fuss was about.

- What if everything's changed by then?

- Listen...

I'm your mum, OK? And I'm going to be here

picking up the pieces for you for as long as it takes.

OK? I love you more than anything in the world.

- I love you too, Mum.

- MUSIC: Speech Therapy by Speech Debelle

- Sue?

So you're running away, then?

Brave(!)

- Look, I'm sorry if you think I'm a coward, but actually,

this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make, Hector.

- Then why do it?

- Because this isn't real. It's an affair. It's just sex.

- You don't mean that.

I know you don't. You've got to give me a chance.

- Hector, I'm sorry, I just can't do this.

When I've moved away, that is it.

I don't want to ever see you again. I'm sorry.

- It was so bad. She's going to be heart-broken.

- Look, it's not as if you're not going to see her again.

Tiff...

We just need to wait for things to settle down. As soon as they realise

how serious we are, we can come back. - Do you promise?

- Yes, I promise. Now come on.

WOMAN: OK, that's great.

Yeah, yeah, just like that.

Yeah, more of that. That's perfect.

- He looks amazing on camera.

- What is she doing? I've told her three times not to use that girl.

- Why do models have to be so skinny? - It makes the clothes look good.

- Yeah, right, in the magazines maybe.

But in real life, they just look half-starved.

I'd much rather look like me.

At least I've got something to put in my clothes.

- I'm sorry, I said she didn't have to come.

- They don't even look like their pictures anyway.

Like that one - she probably woke up with a massive spot on her chin,

eye bags big enough to carry her shopping in

and wobbly bits all over the place.

But we don't get to see those, do we? Cos they airbrush 'em all out.

- SHE SIGHS: - This whole thing is just a massive con

to make the rest of us feel rubbish and, in reality,

no-one even looks like that anyway.

- HE SNIGGERS

You should be on a talk show, you!

- Ignore her. She knows nothing about the fashion industry.

So what do you think? About Darren?

- I'm sorry, sweetheart,

I'm afraid you're not quite right for us at the moment.

Perhaps next year. It's lovely to meet you, though.

- You haven't even looked at my photographs.

- But you are really quite interesting. - Me?

- Have you ever thought of modelling?

- You are having a laugh.

- I'm serious.

- Course you are.

- I've been toying with the idea of a plus-size range for a while now...

and, with your fire and passion,

I think you'd make a great new Wark Girl.

- Come on, get packing.

- How are we getting to the station?

- I thought we'd hitchhike - save a bit of money.

- That's dangerous.

- Don't back down on me now. I need you.

Come on.

- Have you called your friend in London? - I'll do it now.

- You haven't even done that yet?

- It's not a problem.

It's cool.

Andy.

Hello, mate, it's Justin.

HE LAUGHS: Yeah, good.

Listen, um, have you still got that sofa bed?

Sweet, can I use it tonight?

No, it's just for a couple of nights, a week tops.

But you said that if I ever needed...

OK. No worries.

- He said no?

- No, no, it's all sorted. Now, come on, get packing.

- The point is size zero is unrealistic.

You represent real girls with...gorgeous curves.

Think Beth Ditto...

Crystal Renn, Sophie Dahl...

- She's actually really thin now. - Exactly!

We need more positive role models. So, what do you say?

- What do you think, Darren?

- I dunno. Are you going to be doing stuff today,

cos, don't forget, we've got to cook Grace's dinner later.

- You mean I'VE got to cook Grace's dinner?

- I'll tell you what. I'll book the studio for tomorrow after school.

We'll do some test shots.

- All right. Sounds good. I'll definitely do it.

- Big week for you guys, with Justin leaving.

- Oh, Vaughan told you?

- No, Justin did, actually.

He seems quite conflicted about the whole thing.

- Well, actually, he's coming round to the idea now.

- Not when I spoke to him half an hour ago.

- Why, what did he say?

- Um, something about feeling like the scapegoat of the family,

that his dad doesn't listen to him. - Mm-hm.

Well, thanks for the heads up, but I think we've got it covered.

- Yeah, course you do.

It's just that I know how hard it is to get perspective

when you're in the middle of a situation and, once he's in London,

it might be too late to repair any damage. - Aberdeen.

The school's in Aberdeen. - He definitely said London.

Maybe I've got that wrong.

- Floyd, have you seen your sister? - Nope. - Justin? - No, not since class.

Why, what...?

- MOBILE PHONE RINGS

- Justin? My phone?

- TELEPHONE RINGS

ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS

We've got to go. - 'Tiffany?

'Justin? Are you there?

'Please pick up, Tiff. I'm not cross with you.

'I just want to talk to you.' - Come on!

- Maybe we should think about this.

- Look, Tiff, I know this is a big change, but you'll be with me, OK?

Come on. - I can't find my trainers.

- Do you need them? - Yes. - Hurry up, then.

Have you got them? - Um, no, they're not in here.

- Huh?

I'll check downstairs.

- Who was it that said they wouldn't get out of bed

for less than ten grand? Or was it 100 grand?

- She was a supermodel. Catalogue modelling's a little different.

- Oh, someone's missing the limelight.

Bet you're dead chuffed, being seen with a model.

- I'm not bothered what you look like. - Aw, thanks(!)

- You know what I mean. - Do I?

- Sorry! - Whoa! Where you going, Miss?

It's nearly time for the competition.

- Start without me. I won't be long.

Tiffany?

Tiff?

Get in the car, Tiffany. - Mum? - Don't listen to her.

- Get in the car. - I'm sorry. I can't. Not now. - Tiff!

How did you know where we were? - I worked it out!

Get in the car. We're going back to school. - Tiff, no!

Tiff, come with me! - NOW!

Not you! I don't want you anywhere near her!

- ENGINE STARTS

CAR PULLS AWAY

- I know how thrilled Allie's been to collaborate with you on this.

The students have been working round the clock on their designs.

- Great! When can I see them?

- Well, Allie should be meeting us at my office. - We've got a problem.

- Your guest is here. - I'm really sorry, this can't wait.

Sonya, could you show Mrs Wark to the design competition, please? - Oh.

- This had better be good.

- He bulldozed her into running away.

It's tantamount to kidnap. - It wasn't like that, though, Mum.

- Then why were you texting me? - I didn't know what else to do.

Please don't tell Justin that I did that.

- Yeah, I'm not sure that's really the issue right now, Tiff.

Take your stuff, go to the library, wait.

Where is he now? - I don't know. I left him there!

He's not a kid. He'll be fine.

Where you going?

You're playing right into his hands, you know.

- CHILDREN CHATTER

Don't!

CHATTER GETS LOUDER

- OK, settle down, everybody. Sh, sh, sh!

OK, apologies for the late start.

First of all, I'd like to introduce fashion designer Amelia Wark.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing. - That thing with your mouth then looked weird.

- Will you two stop messing about?! - LAUGHTER

- Will you put that down?

- You heard Mrs Lowsley! Stop messing about!

- I will be just outside.

- I've just spoken to the head who interviewed me.

He was really positive, says I'm down to the last two.

I've got to go down to Wales tonight

to meet them all in person tomorrow morning.

- Wow, that's...that's great!

- What's the matter? - Nothing. - I thought this was what you wanted?

- It is. It's just... it's happening so quick.

- Oh, for God's sake, Sue, you're the one who's pushed for this!

You could at least say well done!

- I'm sorry, you're right. It's just I didn't get much sleep last night.

- Right, well, I've got to go home and pack.

I'll drive down tonight, stay with my folks. - Give them my love.

I am proud of you.

- You know what you need? You need a nice bath and an early night.

I'll take you for a slap-up meal when I get back tomorrow, yeah?

- Sounds lovely.

- If this goes to plan,

we could be starting a new life in Wales in a month.

Wish me luck.

- Good luck.

- The hoodie is reversible, with reflective panels on one side

to be used while cycling in the dark.

While the other side has a more dressy feel,

meaning the garment works well while relaxing socially with friends.

Finally, we feel the hood gives it a more elusive quality.

Something not usually seen in sportswear design.

- What's elusive mean, Darren?

- Like, um... You know, like hard-wearing.

- Er, it's my presentation, Darren.

- OK, thank you, Gabriella and Darren. Well done.

- APPLAUSE

- Next two, prepare.

- Why don't you take a seat?

I will make us a brew and then we can go through the drill.

- TELEPHONE RINGS - Better still - learn on the job.

Come on, come on. It's not going to bite you.

- Waterloo Road Helping Hands community hotline. How can I help?

Grace who?

She wants to know if Darren and Rhiannon

are still cooking for her tonight?

- Tell her they're looking forward to it. - OK.

Yes, Grace, they can't wait.

Um...OK...

Yeah, will do.

OK, bye. Um...

She wants me to remind Darren to bring his scissors.

Apparently, he's cutting her toenails.

- THEY LAUGH

- I don't have to do that, do I?

- TELEPHONE RINGS

SHE LAUGHS: - No.

- Waterloo Road Helping Hands community hotline. How can I help?

- You can you use it to listen to music through the draw strings.

Um, and... Go on, give a twirl.

And, um, it also has a handy integrated light for reading.

Um, which turns on...

- Ow! - Oops, sorry, sorry.

Um...

Well, it's a work in progress, and it's nothing that we can't overcome.

Er, thanks.

- It's for the brides that don't want to be girlie on their big day.

I mean, why would you wear a corset if you can wear a comfy hoodie?

- LAUGHTER

- (Lift the hood.)

Doesn't he look beautiful?

- GIGGLING

- That...that's it, Miss.

- Right, well done.

- We have named our design the Zorro Hoodie.

As you can see, it is very handy for...

the times you'd rather not be identified.

And the deep pockets mean you can store items such as...

fruit. - Miss, aren't you going to say something?

- Why don't you tell us about the fabric, Shaznay,

and why you chose it? - Absolutely!

The fabric is breathable and absorbent.

- And great for a disguise when you've had a run-in with the police.

- Thank you, girls. A round of applause, everyone.

- APPLAUSE

Hector?

I got down to the last two for that job.

I'm off to Wales. I've got an interview first thing. - Wow!

So it's really happening, then? - Could be.

I've got a really good feeling and Vaughan gave a great reference,

which is cool, cos I thought he might be funny about it,

given the short notice, but he's been really supportive.

You OK?

- Yeah, it's, er, really good news. I bet Sue's really happy.

- Yeah...

Actually, she's been a bit weird about it. - Weird?

- Yeah, I think it's this school, you know.

If you're not cut out for teaching, it can really grind you down.

She's all over the shop recently.

Anyway, it's been great working with you.

- Likewise, um... When are you back, mate?

- Oh, tomorrow, but I promised Sue that I'd take her out.

So we'll have that drink another time, yeah?

Hey, if I get the job, we might even have a little party.

- Over to you, Amelia.

- Thank you.

Before I announce the winner,

I'd like to reveal an additional element to the prize.

- (A pair of Wark socks.)

- GIGGLING

My husband and I feel that it's only right

that we should pay the winning designer £1,000 for their efforts.

LOUD GASPS

So, let's cut to the chase.

The design I feel most represents the Wark brand

was created by the very talented...

..Darren Hughes and Gabriella Wark.

- Oh! Yes!

Yes! Yes!

- Fix! Miss, that's her daughter! That's so unfair!

- I picked the design based on its own merits.

- You should've told us about the 1,000 quid before, Miss!

- Why? Would you have actually made an effort?

Maybe even created something you could be proud of?

- Er, yes! And we would have won too.

Lisa had this idea of... personalising hoodies for clubs.

- Well, that's a very good idea.

Perhaps even a winning idea, if you'd put some time into it.

But instead you both just showed up,

mucked about and missed out on 500 quid each, didn't you?

- This is your fault. - I don't think so.

This was your idea. - Shut your mouth!

- Better luck next time.

Congratulations, you two.

Oh, Rhiannon, the studio is booked for tomorrow,

er, but there's a slot free now, if you're still interested?

- Whoa, whoa.

We've got to be at Grace's in, like, an hour or something

and we've not even done the shopping yet.

- Can't you just get it? I'll catch you up.

- Rhiannon, we promised.

- Come on, she's just an old lady. Anyway, you're the one she fancies.

- Yeah, you'd make a great model, you.

You're already stuck up and selfish.

- Shall I run to the schoolhouse and get my clothes, then? - Lovely. - OK.

- Have you heard anything? - No.

- Well, he'll be back before tea time. I guarantee it.

- You still haven't found him?

- I can't believe you just left him by the side of the road.

- I...

- I like Sci-Fi.

Um, I watched a bit of Firefly when I was a bit younger.

- There's definitely something going on at home with their Justin.

His dad made me fetch him out of class earlier.

I mean, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him

and Allie's been in and out all day with a right face on her.

Do you reckon they're breaking up? - I dunno.

It's not really any of our business, is it?

Although I think your first guess was closer to the mark.

- Oh, yeah?

You know something, don't you?

Oh, come on, Maggie. Share the wealth.

What is it? Is it drugs?

- No! - Oh, it is, innit?

Oh, my God... - No.

Vaughan is sending Justin to boarding school.

- Lee Pace is doing the new Star Wars film, isn't he?

- Boarding school? I thought it was something way juicier than that.

- Well, the real question you want to be asking is why?

- Everyone knows Justin's out of control.

Maybe it's one of them really strict ones?

- Like them kids haven't been through enough upheaval.

Leo's absolutely gutted.

Mind you, looks like he's cheered up a bit now.

- It went on for about a series and then just stopped.

It was my favourite show ever.

- How are we supposed to respect Mr Fitzgerald

to run the school as headmaster if he can't even run his own family?

- Hold that thought. - No...

No, I'm not saying I didn't like the original series, it's just...

Lord of the Rings does it for me every day of the week,

like maybe it's something about high fantasy just gets me. - Ahem!

- Right, Mandy, I'm sorry, I've got go, but I'll speak to you later

and, um, it was really nice talking to you.

Um, I hope things get a little bit better for you at home.

OK, bye.

Um, she was having some computer trouble...

I think she's just a bit lonely. Um...have I done something wrong?

- Look, try to stick to practical advice rather than personal stuff.

You're doing smashing, honestly.

You don't have to be a robot, but there's a line.

- DOORBELL RINGS

- Hector, you can't be here.

- I thought you'd be alone.

- I'm serious. You need to go.

- You've got to hear me out, OK?

Then I'll leave you alone.

- OK, that's great. Lovely, um...

Shall we try something a little more demure? - What?

- Er, let's try your arms here.

Um...

Imagine your arms are light as a feather.

OK.

A little less flappy. We're not trying to take off!

OK...

OK, let's, um, do one at the side and, er...

really pull that in, yeah.

Tighter, yeah? Yeah.

Lovely!

- I can't breathe, Mrs Wark. - It doesn't matter about breathing.

- Guess it's all worked out for you, then?

Of course...

Simon's playing his part to perfection, as usual.

Worlds apart, aren't we?

Me and, um...Sensible Simon.

- Don't. He doesn't deserve to be mocked by us.

You shouldn't even be here. - No, I had to come.

I think you're making a mistake. I know that you reckon

I'm just that guy who sleeps around and that you can't trust.

But I am not that person any more.

I'm serious.

I want to settle down. - I'm sure, when you meet that someone,

you'll make them very happy.

- You don't get it, do you?

You're the reason I've changed.

OK, before, it was just about the chase and that rush you'd get

and, afterwards, I'd feel nothing, but with you...

..it's completely different.

- You only want me because you can't have me. - No, that's not true.

Really, part of me wishes I didn't feel this way at all,

because, Sue, it is killing me.

- This is madness.

It's so stupid.

- What if the stupid thing was you getting married to Simon, hmm?

What if that's the mistake?

What if we're the ones that are supposed to be together?

Fine.

That's all I came to say.

- I love you.

I wish I didn't, but I do.

- Hello, Darren. And, er... - I'm Maggie.

- Girlfriend?

- MAGGIE LAUGHS

- Teacher! - I'm just teasing, love. Gingers aren't his type.

- Excuse me? - No offence.

- None taken.

I'm, er, just here to make sure you're not a knife-wielding maniac.

- No, I'm more the bop 'em on the head and chain 'em to the radiator type,

if that's what you're worried about?

- It's lovely to meet you, Mrs Drummond.

- Don't worry, Mrs B, I can run rings round Grace.

- Yeah, well, good luck with that.

I'll leave you to it. Have a lovely evening. - Thank you.

Oh, and pass my thanks on to that headteacher.

I haven't had a young man round to dinner for years.

Come on, then, let's have a look at that steak. - Right.

Do you want it mooing?

SHE LAUGHS

What you laughing at? You said you wanted them cutting. - I did.

I just didn't think you'd have the stomach for it.

- So what'd you ask me for, then?

- A little test, to see if it'd put you off.

I don't want a couple of sulky teenagers round here

if they'd rather be hanging about the streets in hoodies.

- What makes you think we do that? - It's what most kids round here do.

- Well, um, we're not all the same.

I used to do loads for my mum when it was just me and her.

She's dead now.

- Was she sick?

- Sort of, yeah.

Right, let's have a look at these, then.

- I'm sorry about your mum, Darren.

- Are you ready for this?

I'd say you're a size 12 there.

14 tops.

We might need to take a little bit more off the chin.

- I think I look really weird. - It doesn't even look like you.

- I think she looks stunning.

- I thought you said I looked nice before?

- You do!

But even the plus-size world has its limits.

We're only talking about a little slimming - XL, not XXL.

- AMELIA LAUGHS

- Don't let my mum bully you into

anything you don't want to do. - As if I'd do that.

- Just don't let it change you into something you're not.

- You either take me like this or not at all.

- SHE SNORTS

- Where are you going?

- To cook an old lady dinner.

Do you want to join me, Darren and Grace for some steak and chips?

- I'd love to.

Don't wait up, Mum.

- KNOCKING ON DOOR

- Hiya, Gracie. Sorry we're late.

This is my friend Gabriella. Do you mind if she joins us?

- We've brought dessert. - Welcome, Gabriella.

You've missed the steak. - Well, I'm here now.

- I'm surprised you want to hang out with us now you're all, er...

glamorous.

- I'm not doing it any more. - What? How come?

- Look... I'm sorry for being a bit of a nightmare today.

Eugh! You touched 'em!

- HE LAUGHS: You know me.

Doddle! - And look at them now!

Look at the little beauties!

- GRACE LAUGHS

- This whole thing's your fault. - Just calm down.

- No! I won't, actually! This is your fault too! If you hadn't left Mum

and brought us here, none of this would've happened.

What if he doesn't come back? - That's not going to happen.

Let's call the police.

- DOOR OPENS

No need.

'How are you feeling?'

- Better. - 'Good. Did you have that bath?' - I'm just about to.

- 'Oh, you should see it down here, Sue. It's so beautiful.

'And I had a quick look online, right,

'and we can afford a three-bedroom house down here, easy.

'Maybe even a loft conversion with a bit more space.

'Oh, I can just picture you, popping down the village shop

'with your basket, pregnant with our baby...'

- Never disappear like that again.

- I didn't know what to do. I was angry!

It helped.

- I didn't know where you were.

- Dad, I'm not a kid! - No, but you are my son.

Look, if you don't want to go to boarding school, you don't have to.

- Really? You mean it, Dad?

You can stay! - LAUGHING: All right, take it easy.

I thought I'd never get a minute alone with you.

- I'm so sorry about everything.

- It's fine.

She made it impossible for you.

- Please don't hate her. - She just doesn't get it.

We're together and that's it.

- She might come in.

- So what?

I can stay. That's the best possible outcome for us.

And she can't tell us what to do any more.

Yeah?

- I'm sorry I didn't consult you.

But I can't send him away.

- I know.

- Thank you.

I don't know what happens now.

- I've been thinking...

- Stay the night.

- Can I not say goodbye? - We need to get going.

- Hey.

How long will you be? - I'll call you.

- Where is she?!

- Tiffany has gone to stay with a family friend.

- No way!

- So, um, how are we going to do this?

- Do what? - Tell Simon.

- Leo? - Yes? - It's Mandy, from the hotline.

- Oh, right, hi!

- I only went and got the job!

Sorry, mate, did you want to see me about something?

- Mandy?

Where are you?

- LOCK CLICKS

- Ow!

- Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't.

- Oh, I knew it!