Original subtitles

Thank you.

Hello, Gladys.

Tea-- no sugar.

Tea-- no milk.

And how about you?

Do you want your tea without milk or without sugar?

Without tea. For me, coffee.

You're in early tonight.

Yeah.

We come early to do the homework.

Every class time we are getting it wrong.

So we make a plan to meet here, and do it all together.

Plenty smart, huh?

Here we are.

- I hope we are not being late. - No.

We just got in ourselves.

You want a tea? - Oh.

Thank you very much.

Not mine.

A thousand apologies.

Much better do the homework first

before Mr. Brogno arrives.

That's a good idea. OK.

First question.

Give a single noun to replace the following phrase.

A person who has reached the age of 100.

Anybody any ideas?

Sure.

Very old man.

That's not right.

Si, hombre.

100-year-old-- very old man.

Now, we want one word for someone who's at 100.

Oh, blimey.

I'm doing that.

Farook.

What is Farook?

My uncle.

He's being 100 years old.

That is not being the answer you Tandoori twit.

All right you Punjabi..

You tell us the answer.

Centurion.

That sounds OK to me.

Okey kokey.

Everybody put down centurion.

Next question.

Right.

Give the past tense and the past participle

of the following verbs--

cling.

Clung.

That's right.

Clung.

But that's the past tense, now, we want the pass participle.

Cling, clung,

Clang.

That's right.

Oh, blimey.

Mr. Brown will be surprised when he finds out how clever we are.

Next question.

Past tense and past participle of the word fly.

Flewed.

No. No.

Not the flewed.

Flied.

That's better-- flied.

We want one more.

We got fly, flied--

Flewed.

OK.

We must do the homework like this every time, huh?

And the next question, give opposite

in meaning to following nouns--

disappointment.

That appointment.

With due respect, opposite of disappointment is joy.

Okey Tokyo.

Can I have some milk please Gladys?

Yeah.

Hey, Danielle, what you got in the pram?

A bag of the potatoes.

Not potatoes.

Bambino.

Hello, bambino.

Hey, he speak to me.

Nice little boy.

How will you know it's a little boy?

Easy.

He's got what every little boy has--

blue clothes.

Here.

Is it yours?

No.

It belongs the family I work as au pair.

They had to go out tonight.

So I thought I bring him here to the lessons.

Oh, you can't do that.

Why not?

Well, it's against regulations.

Oh.

Miss Courtney would never allow it.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

But what am I going to do?

I don't want to miss my classes.

Well, I'll tell you what I'll do.

You can leave him here behind my counter,

and collect him when you go home.

Thank you, Gladys.

Oh.

Don't mention it.

See you later, boys.

Holy ravioli.

What I'm thinking now, I could be ex-communicated.

I was excommunicated five minutes ago.

Name a collective noun to describe

a group of footballers.

Real Madrid.

Oh, blimey.

That is not a good answer.

Correct answer is a team.

That's right.

Team.

Who said that?

I did.

Whoops a daisy.

Hey, how long have you been here?

Long enough.

Look, homework means work you do at home individually-- not

here collectively.

As you obviously cannot be trusted,

you all will stay behind after class

and do your homework then.

Come along down to the classroom.

Now then, what about a nice smile for your auntie Glad?

Oh.

You know, you're a lovely fella.

I say, Gladys is going to tickle your tummy.

Here.

Give us a nice kiss.

Oh.

Hello, Sid.

Gladys, look, what you're doing is you're own affair.

But I shouldn't let Miss Courtney catch you at it.

Oh.

What do you mean?

I heard you.

Oh.

I'm doing it as a favor.

Here.

Want to tickle his tummy?

- What? - Tickle his tummy.

He likes it.

Look.

It's a.

A little nipper.

It's Danielle's.

I'm looking after it for her. - Yeah.

He's a lovely little fella.

How are you then?

Coochie.

Coochie.

Coochie.

Coochie.

He bit me.

Hello, everybody.

Places please as quickly as possible.

Thank you, Juan.

All right.

Now that we've lost Zultan and Ingrid,

I suggest we fill up these empty places.

Jamillah, would you like to come back to the front?

No.

Master G. I am very happy to be sit at back side.

Taro

Japanese philosopher say, a person who's in front line

more likely to get shot at.

How so?

Holly and Sue Lee, why don't you come out here then?

All right.

Jolly good.

Right.

Now, tonight, by way of a change,

we are going to do a crossword.

Now, do you all know what a crossword is?

Well, I should ask you each a clue.

And hope that I get some correct answers.

We'll start with you, Juan.

Si, Senor.

One across-- the feminine of horse.

A por favor?

The feminine of horse.

You've heard of the word horse. - Ah.

Si. Si.

Sore throat.

No.

That's hoarse. - Ah.

Sorry.

Come along.

The feminine of horse.

Ah, lady horse.

- Anybody know? - Yeah-- feminine of horse--

mare.

Well done.

Excuse me please.

Yeah, Alit?

I'm thinking, mare is not feminine.

- Yes it is. - Oh.

No.

Mayor of London is most definitely masculine.

That is a different sort of mare.

That's M-A-Y-O-R.

Jolly good.

Fanjeet, three across, not down.

I am knowing it is not down because you

are saying it's across.

Not down is the clue.

Thousand apologies.

Well, what is the answer?

No.

What is not the answer.

The answer is up.

Thank you.

Up.

Right.

Giovanni, six across, a punctuation mark

used to indicate antitheses of quotation.

Ask me another.

Oh.

Come along. Think.

I'll give you another clue.

It's not a comma, but it begins with a C.

Question mark.

Don't be ridiculous.

Anybody know?

Colon.

Good.

Colon.

O-L-O-N. Right.

Aladeet, seven across, a word used to describe

a set of four musicians.

Beatles.

Not a group.

Although, the Beatles were one of these.

Oh, blimey.

Think.

If you have a cake and you cut it into four,

you then have four?

Pieces.

Yeah.

But what does each piece called?

A slice?

Water.

Jolly good.

And what do we call four musicians?

Anybody?

Quar-- quartet?

Good.

Quartet.

Well done.

R-T-E-T. Right.

Ah, Sue Lee, eight across, to tell an untruth.

To spread decadent Western propaganda about..

In the republic of China.

The correct answer is lie.

Same thing.

That's a matter of opinion.

L-I-E. Right.

Um.

Jamillah, one down, the plural of mouse.

Uh, mouses.

Oh.

No, Jamillah. Think.

Look.

Look at the board.

It's M blank, M blank.

Any idea?

No, Master G. I am also be blank.

Mice.

Oh.

Mickey.

Mickey?

Ha.

Mickey Mouses.

Mice.

Sorry, Master G.

Right.

Taro.

Ah, so.

Two down-- to consign or dismiss

to an inferior position.

Do you know the answer?

Not knowing. personal.

If a football team finish at the bottom of the league,

then it means that they are?

Very bad team.

They get relegated.

So the answer to two down is relegate.

Right.

Um, Max?

Yes,.

Four down-- the opposite of wealth.

No.

Broke?

No.

If you are very poor, what state are you in?

Desperate.

Mr. Brown?

Can I speak to Danielle outside?

Yes.

If you must.

It's very personal.

What's a matter?

The baby's done a bunk.

Is that the same as doing a pooey?

No.

He's gone. - Gone?

Yes.

Gladys went in to the ladies.

When she come out, there he was gone.

That is impossible.

Well, If you don't believe it, come have a look for yourself.

But if he's not there, where can he be?

I haven't got the faintest idea.

Right.

Can anybody tell me the rule about I and E?

Jamillah?

I before E except after C.

Very good.

Juan?

Juan?

Si, senor.

You are not paying attention.

Si.

Plenty attention.

All right.

What did I just say?

You say, Juan, you're not paying attention.

Yes.

Before that, Juan.

Ah, before that?

You're right, I not pay attention.

We were discussing I before E except after C.

Ah, sorry.

Spell receipt.

Por favor?

You heard.

Spell receipt.

Ah, R-E-C, I before E except C, E. E.

Good.

I-T.

Come on. Think.

You've missed something out.

What comes before T?

Breakfast.

I am not amused.

You're not here to make jokes, Juan.

Ah.

Sorry, amigo.

P-T.

So nice.

Max, what always follows a Q?

People who are queuing.

The letter Q.

R.

R?

Sure.

L,m, n, o, p, q, r.

We're discussing spelling, not the alphabet.

If a word begins with Q, what is the next letter?

I don't know boss.

U.

Me what?

Q, U-- only a U can follow a Q.

OK.

Mr. Brown, would you come to my office for a moment?

Right now?

Yes.

It is most important.

Well, carry on studying chapter 10 on spelling.

I shan't be long.

Is it-- is it something I've done?

I sincerely hope not.

Take a look at that.

It's a pram.

Well done Mr. Brown.

What do you normally associate with prams?

- Babies? - Exactly.

Good Lord.

You're not.

Are you?

Not what?

Expecting.

Oh.

Don't be ridiculous.

What was that?

Well, look in the pram.

It's a baby.

Well, it's certainly not a Cocker Spaniel.

Well, you mustn't worry Miss Courtney.

I beg your pardon?

These things happen even in the best families.

There is no shame these days in being an unmarried mother.

You, you silly little man.

It's not mine.

I found it in the canteen.

I have spoken to Gladys, but she denies all knowledge of it.

The poor little mite has obviously been abandoned.

Oh. how Dickensian.

I can only assume that one of the students from this school

has deliberately abandoned that baby on our doorstep.

I thought you said it was in the canteen?

Oh.

That's just a figure of speech Mr. Brown.

Now, I shall ask all the teachers to question

their respective classes in an effort

to discover the guilty party.

OK. I'll go and question mine.

Oh. No you won't.

You will stay here and look after the baby

while I inform the rest of the staff.

Hello.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Come on,.

Come over here, and look at all the trees.

See all the birdies chirping?

Yeah.

Isn't that nice.

Here we are.

Rock a by baby on the treetop.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

And down will come baby cradle and all.

There.

What did you think of that baby?

Stay there and I'll go and get you a chocky bicky.

All right?

What am I going to do?

Not to worry.

We find him for you.

We search the school.

Sid and Gladys, they have looked everywhere.

Maybe he's been babynapped.

You you must be mean kidnapped.

Yes, please.

Mr. and Mrs. Barkley, they are going to kill me.

How am I going to tell them I've lost their baby?

Why not write them a letter?

I've got an idea.

If somebody stole Danielle's baby, why not we go outside

and steal someone else's baby.

Don't be so stupid, Max.

Come on.

Settle down and study your books.

And why are you crying?

Miss Courtney I've done something very bad.

What you do outside is no concern of mine.

That's is something in the school.

Where is my baby?

Baby?

Oh.

So It's yours, is it?

You know about it?

I found it.

Thank heavens.

I must go to him.

Now, just a moment.

Come here.

I want a word with you.

Now, I know that we live in a permissive society,

and these things are not uncommon.

But you must think of the baby.

Or don't you love him a little?

I love him very much.

Good.

Do you know who the father is?

Yes?

Well, then have you never considered marrying him?

How can I?

He's only nine months old.

Not the baby.

The father.

I don't think his wife will be very happy.

He's a married man?

Yes.

Well, that's typical.

They don't care who they get into trouble.

It wasn't his fault. It was his wife's idea.

Good heavens.

How awful.

Do your parents know the situation you are in?

Yes.

Well, surely they don't approve.

Certainly.

Next year, my sister is coming to England to do the same.

Extraordinary.

Oh, no.

Many french girls want to be au pairs.

Au pair?

Yes.

This baby, it belongs to the family you work for?

That's right.

Thank heaven for that.

Pardon?

It doesn't matter.

I promise I won't bring him into school again.

Well, see that you don't.

Can I bring him in this class?

No.

He can stay where he is.

He's in very good hands.

Oh.

There you are.

Oh.

Oh.

Thank goodness.

Well, what is shaking my dear..

Yes.

Come on then.

Oh we go to Auntie Glad.

Yes my darling.

We go and get a little drink of milkies.

Come on then.

There.

There.

You'll feel better.

At least he's stopped crying.

Perhaps he's dozed off.

Here we are.

Here's a chocky bicky for you.

He's gone.

Perhaps he's dipped out for a walk.

He's too young to walk.

He can just about crawl.

Well, he's got to be here somewhere.

Where?

I don't know.

Oh, my god.

The window is open.

What about it?

He could have crawled out.

Could he?

Of course it couldn't.

Could it?

They crawl anywhere.

I was the biggest crawler on our street.

Well, I can believe that.

I'm too frightened to look.

It's not there.

Perhaps he's crawled around the edge

and gone right the way 'round.

Well, you better crawl out and have a look.

No. Not me.

I, I can't stand heights.

I've got claustrophobia.

Vertigo.

Yeah.

I've got that in my shoulder as well.

I'll give you a bunker.

I'm going to see to me boiler.

- Well, aren't you staying here? - No.

No.

I can't stand the sight of blood.

Gladys.

What are you doing with that baby?

Well, I took it for a drink of milkies.

Well, wait here a minute.

Oh.

Very well.

Now, take this baby back to the canteen and keep it there.

I never want to see it again.

Oh, very well.

Oh, my baby.

Is he all right?

Yes.

I take him to the classroom.

Oh, no.

Miss Courtney said I have to keep him in the canteen.

Oh, no.

I not take the chance of losing him again.

Well, please yourself.

He did it, then?

Who did what?

Mr. Brown.

He saved the baby off the window ledge.

What are you talking about?

The baby has never been on the window ledge.

No?

No.

Mr. Brown is.

Very pretty baby.

Yeah.

I would love to have a baby like that.

Come out with me tonight and I'll--

Max.

Hey, there's profesori.

Oh, blimey.

He's out of his mind. - Mr. Brown.

Please come in.

You all right Mr. Brown?

Just about.

How's the baby? - Oh, he's OK.

Oh.

Thank goodness for that.

Would you hold him for me for a moment?

Well I don't think I can really.

while I fix his blanket.

Oh. Well, hurry up.

Mr. Brown.

What is that baby doing in the classroom?

I'll give you three guesses.