Original subtitles

♪ Batman ♪♪

Gotham City International Airport.

A pleasant day for an important arrival.

Gentlemen, please. A little room for the king.

Welcome to Gotham City, Your Highness.

This has been a long awaited pleasure.

Thank you, my friends. But the pleasure is entirely mine.

I've heard wonderful things about your city.

How was your flight, Your Majesty.

Bumpy.

Oh, uh..

Except when we crossed into American territory

then it was smooth.

I'd like to ask--

The limousine's waiting, Your Majesty.

I'm sure you'd like to go to the hotel.

Fine, fine.

Oh, uh.. May I take that for you?

No-no, no thank you. No.

No offense, but it's too important.

I shall carry it with me until the presentation.

Your Majesty..

...on behalf of the Welcoming Committee

I'd like to present you with these roses.

Well, thank you, young lady. Thank you very much.

Shy little thing, isn't she?

These flowers are certainly..

Make anything out of it, Chief O'Hara?

There's no doubt about it..

...The Riddler

that infernal Prince of Puzzlers as you call him

is up to his old tricks.

And what will those tricks be, chief?

"When is a person like a piece of wood?"

What does it mean?

I wish I knew, commissioner.

I wish I knew.

Anyone else think they can make any sense out of it?

Well, there is one man who might be able to.

I have a fine police force here, yet I have no alternative

but to call on his services once again.

Long time ago, I gave up trying to figure out who he was

I owe him too much for that.

We all owe him a very great deal.

And in Wayne Manor

stately and secure home of millionaire Bruce Wayne

and his youthful ward Dick Grayson.

I'll beckon him, sir, immediately.

You think? That's mate...old chum.

Gosh, Bruce. Why can't I ever beat you?

You have on...several occasions.

Only when your mind is on important matters..

Excuse me for interrupting, sir.

- But it's the Batphone. - Oh, boy!

Oops! Sorry, Aunt Harriet. I didn't mean to scare you.

Mercy alive! If I didn't know you two better

I'd think you were up to something.

What do you mean, Aunt Harriet?

Well, it's just that every once in awhile

you come zooming out of this room like jet planes

practically knocking me over

and then rushing out with hardly any explanation.

There's no mystery, Aunt Harriet.

Dick and I just played a game of chess

and we agreed that if I won, he'd do some studying.

If he won, we'd go fishing.

Bye, dear.

Yes, commissioner.

Batman, I'm having trouble..

...with a riddle.

Him again.

We'll be right over.

To the Batpoles.

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♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Batman ♪♪

It's The Riddler. His modus operandi alright.

I agree. Nobody else would use such a spectacular

and bizarre method to flaunt a puzzle.

What the devil is the culprit trying to tell us?

The riddle itself is pretty basic.

A person is a piece of wood when he's a ruler.

You figure it has something to do with King Boris.

- Maybe. - Good thinking, Robin.

But no attempt was made to abduct or to harm him.

Wood, ruler, king. Tsk.

A chess king.

The International Chess Tournament tonight.

Twenty five thousand dollars in prize money.

Boy Wonder, you've done it again.

I think this thing is much bigger than that.

The Riddler goes after millions not thousands.

He loves to dazzle us with his fancy footwork.

In any case, assign an extra squad of men to cover the place.

- What is King Boris' itinerary? - He's here on a goodwill visit.

Among other things

he's to be an honorary judge at the Miss Galaxy finals tomorrow.

And the following day

will appear at the Queen of Freedom Monument.

I saw that in the papers.

He's going to present the Museum of Fame

with a doll-sized replica of the Queen of Freedom.

Queen?

A queen can be a ruler.

- That's it. - What queen?

There is no queen, the king ain't married.

There will be tomorrow.

A new queen of beauty.

They're gonna crown her with a priceless diamond

and emerald tiara.

Exactly, Robin.

It's my guess that our puzzling friend will try to steal it.

Ah, now, we're getting somewhere.

'I'll have that place blocked so tight..'

On the contrary..

...I think we should let The Riddler steal the tiara.

Ladies and gentlemen, before I announce this year's winner

I shall like to introduce you to last year's Miss Galaxy.

She is Jackie Sands.

This is it.

The moment you've all been waiting for.

The moment one of these girls has been waiting for.

Our moment of truth.

Knowing that arch-villain The Riddler

I'm almost positive he'll show up for this event.

We'll soon find out.

Miss Galaxy will be crowned any moment.

The new Miss Galaxy

Queen of Beauty is..

...Southern City's own sparkling-eyed beauty

Julia Davis.

- Congratulations, Julia. - Thank you.

Miss Galaxy..

...it is with great pleasure that I crown you Queen of Beauty

with this magnificent diamond and emerald tiara.

- Oh! Thank you. - Isn't she beautiful?

'Miss Galaxy.'

He's in for quite a surprise when he discovers I substituted

a fake tiara for the real one.

Too bad we didn't get a chance to paste The Riddler.

We might yet.

Don't forget I placed a homing transmitter

in the band of that tiara.

It'll lead us right to his hideout.

Yes.

Now, to the Batmobile.

Wait, Robin. Look.

Holy sewer pipe! What's he up to?

You're slipping, Batman.

I knew it was a phony crown all the time.

Riddle me this, crime fighter.

What room can no one enter?

If you figure it out

look for another royal riddle in this crown.

That ends any chance of tracking him with the homing device.

Shall we after him in the manhole?

We'll never find him.

There're hundreds of tunnels down here.

A riddle a day keeps The Riddler away.

What?

Once, a long time ago

The Riddler made the mistake of telling me that.

It means as long as he dishes out riddles, he's..

...he's not finished with his plot.

When the riddles stop

that's when he's ready for his final caper.

Then he told the truth.

That diamond tiara wasn't what he was really after.

Right, Robin.

But we have two more riddles to tell us what it may be.

Now. First clue was

What room can no one enter?

A mushroom.

Agreed. Uh, the second one. Read it again.

"What is the beginning of eternity

"the end of time and space

beginning of every end and the end of every race?"

Golly, Batman.

It doesn't seem to make sense.

Let's see. If your first answer, a mushroom was correct..

Why, that's it.

- Of course. - You have it?

What was it The Riddler said when he threw back the tiara?

"There's a royal riddle in this crown."

Look up the address of the Royal Mushroom Club.

There are some things we can do the good old-fashion way.

Using the telephone book.

Oh! I must be getting lazy.

Meanwhile, in another cave, a rat cave

dreary hideout of the sinister River Rats Gang

currently in the employ of The Riddler.

What's this, River Rats?

Munching cheese while there's work to be done?

Sorry, Riddler, but we got hungry.

Oh, indeed. Well, perhaps you'll lose your appetite

when I deduct the cheese bill from your share of the profits.

- How'd it go, chief? - Magnificent.

Sumptuous.

You should have seen the look on Batman's face

when I threw the tiara.

Now, my good rats.

Now is the time to go to the Royal Mushroom Club.

If Plan 13-Z goes well, and I'm sure it will

the finest achievement in crime shall be culminated tonight.

The end of Batman and Robin.

And later, at the Royal Mushroom Club..

Magnificent.

What a fantastic duplication.

Those jewels, it must be worth a fortune.

Value was not the object.

It's friendship that counts

and admiration for your great country.

To America!

America.

'Mmm! What a delicious wine.'

Ho ho. Marvelous bouquet.

The Royal Mushroom Club has some of the finest wines

in the world. Right, Mr. Ambassador.

Yes. Fine vintages and rare years indeed.

Begging your pardon, Mr. Ambassador

but we're every proud of our wine cellar.

Perhaps His Majesty would like a tour?

An excellent idea.

I'm always interested in good wines.

Like a small boy looking at expensive bicycles.

Well then, let me lead the way.

Batman! Robin!

- Trouble or pleasure? - We're not sure yet.

Is King Boris visiting here tonight?

Why, yes. He just went for a tour of our wine cellar.

Which way?

Fastest way is down the stairs.

Come on, Robin. We haven't a second to lose.

Well, well.

Chateau Le Duc '29.

I didn't know there was any left.

I'm very much impressed.

Batman and Robin. This is an unexpected pleasure.

Thank you. This isn't a social visit.

- May we approach, King Boris? - It's an honor to meet you.

How can I be of service?

Your Majesty, you're in great danger here.

May we escort you to your hotel?

- Danger? That's ridiculous. - We thought so too, but then--

Oh, I've heard wondrous things about you, Batman.

But, this time, I'm afraid you're wrong.

First of all, I'm with friends.

Second, there is no political threat against me

I assure you.

My country is small and harmless

my people, content and happy. Who would want to..

The king! He's gone.

What?

Great Scott! A trapdoor!

Does anyone know where this leads?

I wasn't aware there was a trapdoor here.

Come on, Robin. There might be an exit from outside the club.

"Two steps to aid you with my plot."

That's no riddle.

But those are.

"How much dirt is in a hole three acres square

and 200 feet deep?"

None. Because it's a hole.

I suggest that's a bit too elementary

for our quizzical criminal.

"If you're having difficulty with the first

"perhaps your young friend can help you on this one.

What won't run long without winding?"

"What won't run long without winding?"

Clock?

Stairway!

- A river? - The Gotham river.

We'll soon find out. Come on, Robin.

Back to the Batcave.

Gotham City river bending and winding...sections.

Nothing there.

- Negative again. - Hold it.

I think we may have something. Let's take a closer look.

That may be it.

Gotham City Water and Power Plant exact location

and size.

'This could be a clue.'

A hole three acres wide and 200 feet deep.

I'll bet The Riddler and his gang

are holing up with King Boris.

Let's go and dig 'em out.

And fast.

And at the obsolete Water and Power Plant..

I don't know what kind of rogues you are

but I demand that you release me this instant.

Gee

I never met royalty before.

It's pretty thrilling.

Royalty?

You've never met royalty?

And just whom do you think stands before you

My cherub?

I am the Prince of Puzzlers

the Count of Conundrums

'the King of Crime.'

My whole court here, no one else..

It's a good idea hiding the Batmobile on that thicket.

Nobody will spot it there.

I hope nobody spots us climbing this wall.

Why don't we just break in through the main entrance?

Surprise attack style.

Don't worry, we'll catch them off guard.

Through the ventilating system?

First, I wanna make sure we don't endanger King Boris

when we make our entrance.

Gosh! There could be diplomatic repercussions

if we fail this time, Batman.

That's not the point, Robin.

What's important is that the world knows

that all visitors to these teeming shores are safe.

Be it a peasant or a king.

Gee, Batman, I never thought of that. You're right.

It's the very essence of our democracy.

Darn it..

You have the Queen of Freedom replica

what possible good can it do for you to keep me here?

My fine sovereign friend.

In your wildest imagination, you could never begin to conceive

my ingenious stratagem.

If not ransom, then what?

You, my dear king, have been reduced to a pawn.

An important pawn however.

For you will be used to checkmate Batman

'and his preposterous Boy Wonder.'

'When they show up..'

...then my men will escort you safely

back to town..

...with your statue.

You want a piece of cheese?

Not without a good vintage port, you lackey.

To quote an old axiom

"The finer the bait, the shorter the wait."

Hey, king.

Uh, we shouldn't have to wait much longer.

Batman fell for my clues.

Alright, Riddler.

Now you're going to fall right into the hands of the law.

Now, Whitey.

Batman, we're caught in this sticky trap.

I-I-I can't get out of it.

I-I can't move.

Neither can I.

It couldn't be more beautiful!

Whoever heard of a bat caught in a spider's web?

Whitey, Fangs!

Be sure to strap them down good.

I'm a man of my word.

Whiskers! Whiskers, return the statue to His Majesty

and take him back to town. Blindfolded of course.

Oh, you were stupendous as a pawn, king.

Batman and Robin played it right into my hands.

Oh!

Comfortable? Huh.

Batman..

...these driveshafts rotate 1000 revolutions per second

that means the centrifugal force will tear the bones

from your body.

But before I start you spinning

I'd like to spill off one last riddle.

You might have about a minute to solve it before you die.

Now, then.

Why is a woman in love like a welder?

Goodbye, Batman.

Goodbye, Boy Wonder.

Take it easy...Robin.

One bad turn deserves another.

Batman and Robin to die?

Things certainly are turning the wrong way for them.

Is this really the end?

Unbelievable!

If you care for Batman and Robin

keep hoping 'til tomorrow night.

Same time. Same Bat-channel.

♪ Batman ♪

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♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ Batman ♪♪