Original subtitles

Aunt Lily, what a beautiful purse.

It's a silk purse made out of a sow's ear. Thank you.

Happy birthday, dear, and many happy returns.

That's from me. What an unusual wallet.

It's imported tarantula skin.

Thank you, Grandpa.

Oh, and that one's from me.

It can go in the wallet.

Like M-O-N-E-Y?

Like something even better.

Uncle Herman, that's the best picture I've ever seen of you.

I know.

Some present!

Oh, Grandpa.

Thank you, Uncle Herman. Catch.

Herman. Marilyn, open Eddie's.

Eddie, you shouldn't have spent your allowance on me.

I didn't. I found it in an old trunk in the attic.

Oh, a ring!

Look. It's exquisite.

Oh, no!

The Fregosi Emerald!

Pop, is this what they look like down at the parlor?

More or less.

Except, down at the parlor they look more lifelike.

Eddie, we'll talk about what they look like down at the parlor...

after you do your homework.

Gee, Mom!

Edward.

What happened?

You took one look at the ring that Eddie brought down from the attic...

you said, "Oh, no, the Fregosi Emerald."

And you hit the ground like a loose tombstone.

Where's Marilyn?

She went out with Roger Davis.

It's the fourth straight date.

Sounds serious.

The last time she was out four nights in a row...

she had a job walking the neighbor's dog.

Where did she put the ring?

She didn't leave it anywhere. She wore it.

Why didn't you stop her? Why should we stop her?

Because the Fregosi Emerald has a curse on it.

And anyone who wears it is guaranteed horrible bad luck.

Oh, dear! Why did Eddie have to give her that ring?

Lily, pay no attention, dear.

A ring can't put a curse on you.

It's just another of Grandpa's silly old superstitions.

"Another of Grandpa's silly old superstitions," is it?

Well, I'll have you know that it's another of Grandpa's facts...

as verified by the Encyclopedia of Voodoo!

That book is nothing but a collection of undocumented drivel.

"In the year 1623, in Werewolf Junction, Transylvania...

"a curse was placed on an emerald ring by...

"Duke Ferdinand Fregosi, a sore loser at love."

"The ring is known as the Fregosi Emerald.

"And the Fregosi Curse inflicts severe misfortune on...

whosoever may wear it."

There we are, Herman.

In black and white.

I don't care whether it's in blue and green with yellow polka dots.

I say there is no such thing as a ring with a curse on it.

Excuse me.

Herman.

Oh, Uncle Herman, I never thought I'd get home alive!

Did Roger try and get fresh with you?

Oh, Aunt Lily!

It's all right, dear. Come inside and sit down.

First of all, Roger slammed the car door on my skirt...

and he just tore it in half.

Then we got into argument about whether we should have the top up...

or whether it should be down...

and the top came up and it caught my sleeve.

Then a strange fog came up...

and it just ruined my new hairdo.

All of a sudden, we decided never to see each other again.

And then, while I waiting for the bus to take me home...

this great, huge truck drove by and splashed mud all over me.

Lily, dear.

Why don't you bring Marilyn a nice of cup of piping hot bat milk?

Never mind the piping hot bat milk.

Lily, just take off the Fregosi Emerald.

Grandpa thinks this ring is cursed.

Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.

Marilyn's unhappy experience with Roger...

was pure coincidence.

Oh.

And this so-called Fregosi Curse had nothing to do with it.

And I can prove it. How?

Tomorrow, somebody else will wear this ring.

And we'll all see that nothing bad happens to her.

What do you mean "her"?

Be a good sport and slip this on first thing in the morning.

- Grandpa? - Yes, pal?

In 1623, after Duke Ferdinand Fregosi put a curse on it...

what did he do with the ring? Threw it out the window.

And you found it? It changed hands until 1888...

and then I won it from Jack the Ripper in a poker game.

Did you know it had a curse on it?

No, not until I tried to sell it in Transylvania.

No one would even give me a grubnitz for it.

Lily, dear, what's holding up the chow?

I'm having a little trouble with the oatmeal.

Seems a bit thick.

Uh-ha. Herman, take a look at that.

It's the Fregosi Curse!

It's an open-and-shut case of...

defective oatmeal.

Well, whatever it is, we can't eat it. So, I'm going to dump it.

Oh, my.

Lily, dear, don't be upset.

They just don't make pots like they used to.

You mean, they don't make rings like they used to.

Please, Lily. Take off the Fregosi Emerald.

She flatly refuses. Right?

Well, he is my father and...

She's not jumping to any wild, supernatural conclusions.

Now...

let's bring on those famous "Lily Munster popovers."

I'm sorry, Herman. But I've had it!

Boy, Mom, those popovers really popped.

Yes. But they stopped, as soon as she took off the Fregosi Emerald.

Herman, the defense rests.

But I don't.

And I'm not going to rest, until I prove to all of you...

that you do not get bad luck by wearing this cockamamie ring.

And to prove it, I'm placing it on the finger of someone who is clever...

courageous, and masculine. No!

No!

Not my baby!

I didn't mean Eddie. I meant me.

There.

Fregosi Curse! Come and get me!

Quick! Take off the Emerald! Herman, please.

It won't come off! It's stuck!

Well, let me try.

Grandpa, this is ridiculous.

We can't take any more chances with this Fregosi Curse.

Good night, Pop. Good night, son.

Should I kiss him? No, dear. Remember the rules.

Nobody goes inside the ropes.

Eddie, it's what they call maximum security.

Come on, Eddie. I'll tuck you in.

Hermie?

Would you like some candy?

Please.

Lily? Yes, my poor darling.

Thanks anyway. You're welcome.

I'll get the dustpan.

You know, Herman, I just thought of something.

Supposing you washed your hands and you worked up a very slippery lather.

Ring stayed on. The soap exploded.

How about smashing it off with a sledgehammer?

The ring stayed on, and the sledgehammer melted.

I feel just like a caged panther.

You know, Herman, I'm curious.

In the light of recent developments...

do you believe in the Fregosi Curse or don't you?

I don't exactly believe in it but I...

do admit it could be a possibility.

Grandpa, I've been thinking.

We can't take off the Fregosi Emerald...

but maybe we can take off the Fregosi Curse.

Hmm.

But according to the Encyclopedia of Voodoo...

the curse can only be removed by a descendant of the Fregosi family.

And I don't know if there are any left.

Why don't you make a telephone call and find out?

Lily, if it's that important to you, I will.

Five-three-seven-three...

eight-nine... Direct dialing is terrific.

Four-six-two-one...

seven-three-four-six.

Werewolf Junction, Transylvania, Information. May I help you?

My name is Count Dracula, I wish to...

Count Dracula!

The original Count Dracula? You've heard of me?

I've heard your praises sung ever since my childhood!

You once bit my grandmother.

Her maiden name was Lois Schultz.

She was quite tall, about 6' 5". She loved to dance...

and she jumped center for the girls' basketball team.

Lois Schultz? Well, I'm sorry...

I just can't seem to... Listen, don't apologize.

If you had a grubnitz for every girl you bit...

I'd be as rich as Transylvania T & T.

That reminds me, do you have any listings under the name Fregosi?

As in the "Fregosi Emerald"?

That's right! Do you? I regret to say...

that all descendants of that family have become deceased.

That's what I was afraid of.

Except for the one in Detroit, Michigan, USA.

I'm not sure of the name, but the occupation is automobiles.

Of course! Henry J. Fregosi!

Thank you very much, Operator, and goodbye!

I've enjoyed our conversation. So have I. By the way...

where did you get your interesting accent? I was educated in England.

Lily!

Herman! I got it!

Start packing. We three are flying to Detroit!

What for? To get the Fregosi Curse removed...

by Henry J. Fregosi, Chairman of the Board of Amalgamated Motors!

Come on!

Mr. Fregosi will see you now. Would you step this way, please?

Don't you ever take a break?

Come along, Herman.

They have an appointment with Mr. Fregosi?

Must be an advertising gimmick for next year's new cars, you know:

"Put a monster under your hood."

Dracula is an unusual name. It's Transylvanian.

I see. Won't you be seated?

You're Transylvanian, too, aren't you?

No, Mrs. Munster, I'm as American as apple pie.

Your telegram said you wanted to see me on a matter of life and death.

We do. Mr. Fregosi...

do you deny that some of your ancestors lived in Transylvania?

No, I deny that any of them lived there.

Nice going.

We just wasted three roundtrip plane fares.

Come on, dear. Let's go. Wait!

It's no use, Grandpa. He's obviously not a descendant.

Lily, please. Trust me.

Herman. Show Mr. Fregosi...

the Fregosi Emerald.

Take it away. Don't get it near me.

Take it away. Don't get it near me. Take it away.

So, you do know about the curse.

The curse put on this emerald by one of your ancestors in Transylvania.

Yes, I do. I admit it. I lied, but I had to!

If anybody knew of my background...

If anybody knew the powers of my black magic...

I would've been ruined in the business world.

Please, please, Mr. Dracula! Please, please.

I'll do anything you ask. Please, Mr. Dracula. Don't reveal my secret.

Please, please.

Please, Mr. Dracula.

As the last living Fregosi...

I beg of you, take the curse off this ring.

I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll be glad to do it!

I'll give you one of my rush jobs. It will only take a few minutes.

Wow, what a laboratory!

Thank you, Count.

Coming from an old pro like you, that's quite a compliment.

My! You have a marvelous decorator. All my ideas in there.

Follow me.

As Chairman of the Board of Amalgamated Motors...

I put my curses on rival automobiles.

What do you do? Hide emeralds in the glove compartments?

That would be too expensive.

I put the whammy on their gas gauges...

and the owners think they're getting poor mileage.

Or I jam their car radios with my commercials.

It all comes under the heading of what I like to refer to...

as "Creative Management."

Have you ever put a curse on the whole automobile?

Only once. I assume you've heard of the Edsel.

Now, let me see, curses, curses...

Removing same.

Here we are.

Essence of toadstool. Some essence of toadstool. Just a bit.

Essence of toadstool.

The tails of three blind mice.

That's one and a half, and another one and a half. That makes three.

And now... Oh, yes!

Powdered aardvark tongues.

Just a dash!

And a little dash of Mr. Clean.

Elves and witches... ghosts and ghouls...

demons from the stygian pools...

I command you, as your king...

please uncurse this crummy ring.

He did it! He did it! The curse is gone!

Herman, that is wonderful!

See, Herman, you can't laugh anymore at...

traditional Transylvanian magic. You've just witnessed a miracle...

of ancient, supernatural skill.

Well, Herman, what do you have to say now?

Before we go, Mr. Fregosi...

would you mix me up a batch of chocolate chip cookies?

It's so beautiful. I may never take it off.

Unless Roger gives you one to replace it.

Aunt Lily.

Have you and Roger made up? Yes.

Ever since that certain person, who shall be nameless...

removed the Fregosi Curse, we Munsters have had nothing...

but the best of luck.

Hey, everybody, guess what?

I was playing in the attic, and I found this neat-looking marble!

That's not a marble. What is it?

What is it?

That's the Nathanson Ruby! Does it have a curse on it?

"Does it have a curse on it?"

Well, I'll put it this way.

Compared to the Nathanson Ruby...

the Fregosi Emerald was considered a good luck charm. To protect my loved ones...

I'm gonna throw it away.

I'm home...

Look, Grandpa, he swallowed it.

What are we gonna do now? Well, I'll call Transylvania Information...

see if I can get the phone number of Prince Nathanson.