Original subtitles

[The partridge family's "Come on get happy" Playing]

♪ hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

[playing "I'm on my way back home"]

All: ♪ ooh ♪

♪ got on a silver plane and flew away ♪

♪ chased all my rainbows to the end ♪

♪ I wish I knew then what I know today ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home again ♪

♪ love ♪

♪ that's what's waitin' for me ♪

♪ that's where I've got to be ♪

♪ just to look in your eyes ♪

♪ feel your lips touchin' mine ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home, gonna fly ♪

family: ♪ I'm on my way back home again ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home, gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

family: ♪ my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home to you ♪

♪ I remember when ♪

♪ you told me I'd return ♪

♪ you knew even then ♪

♪ something I had to learn ♪

♪ it's so far and yet ♪

♪ it's right there where you live ♪

♪ it's something that you get ♪

♪ only when you give and it's ♪

all: ♪ love ♪

♪ that's what's waitin' for me ♪

♪ that's where I've got to be ♪

♪ just to look in your eyes ♪

♪ feel your lips touchin' mine ♪

all: ♪ I'm on my way back home, gonna fly ♪

♪ on my way back home again ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home, gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

family: ♪ my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home to you ♪

family: ♪ I'm on my way back home ♪

♪ gonna fly ♪

family: ♪ on my way back home again ♪

♪ on my way ♪

family: ♪ I'm on my way back home, gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

family: ♪ my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home to you ♪

family: ♪ I'm on my way back home ♪

mom, can we bring our bathing suits?

No. The last time you visited your grandparents

you ended up swimming in their fishpond.

Aw, you never let us swim with live fish.

You know, mom,

you don't get the chance to get away from us kids very often.

Now since Chris and Tracy are gone this weekend,

it would be the perfect chance for you to take off.

Sounds great, but there isn't time to plan a trip.

Why make plans? Why not just take off on a lark?

You know, we never get to do anything together.

I mean, just the two of us.

How would you like to take off on a lark this weekend?

Well, that's great. Let's do it.

[♪♪♪]

I can't find Danny's boy scout mess kit.

Look in the tire.

Got it. Hi.

What you doing out here? Laurie: Scrounging.

Laurie and I have decided to take a trip this weekend.

Mom and I are just gonna take off.

Do something we've never done before.

Sounds good. What are you gonna do?

We're gonna go camping and hiking

out near pinnico peak. Ah, that'll be fun.

Pinnico peak? There's nothing out there but wilderness.

That's the point.

No hotels, no public campsites.

If we're gonna do it, we might as well do it right.

You can't go out there alone in the wilderness.

Why not? Because some wolf will come up

and say, "My, grandma, what big eyes you have."

then he'll eat your face.

Neither of you have ever been camping before in your lives.

That's okay. This book will help us.

"girl ranger camping handbook."

you've gotta be kidding.

Nope. It may sound juvenile,

but it'll tell us everything we need to know.

What if you get lost?

We don't get a merit badge.

[Sighs]

Going out there alone. I wonder what they're thinking.

Keith, how'd you like to visit the missing persons bureau?

[Sighs]

We gotta stop them.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Girls just don't know how to handle certain situations.

What if you meet a bear?

We'd handle it the same way you would. We'd run.

But I can run faster than you.

You can't go. If you won't think of yourself, think about us.

We have, and that's why we're leaving.

Mom, listen... Look. We're going camping,

and that's all there is to it, okay?

Come on, Laurie. Let's pack these knapsacks.

Keith: Listen, instead of camping, why don't you collect pine cones

and go see a Disney nature film.

[♪♪♪]

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Mr. Kincaid, Danny partridge here.

I should've known. It had to be you.

Torture incorporated.

I'm sorry to bother you, but this is important.

It affects our whole entire future.

Mom and Laurie are going camping.

I thought you said Shirley and Laurie are going camping,

but I know you wouldn't call me for that.

Yes, I would. What are we gonna do?

Sew nametags in their shorts.

They've never been camping in their lives.

And they're going out in the wilderness by pinnico peak.

Where they go is their own...

Pinnico peak? That's wild country.

The mountain lions avoid that area.

Well, you've gotta stop them.

They won't listen.

Danny? I'm caught. Act natural.

Who are you talking to? Mr. Kincaid, mom,

and he wants to talk to you.

This wouldn't be about our camping trip?

Uh... Danny, you didn't call him.

Here's the phone.

Reuben?

[Sighs]

Look, we're going on that camping trip, and that's final.

Goodbye. Say goodbye and hang up,

and stop all this nonsense or we're gonna have it out.

Do you understand? Mm-hm.

Mr. Kincaid, I have to hang up now.

[Whispering] What are you gonna do? They're leaving in the morning.

Well, I'll... I'll drive right up.

I'll be there tonight.

Great. I knew I could count on you.

[♪♪♪]

Well, all of our things are loaded.

That's it, mom.

We're all ready to go to grandma's.

Good. Hop aboard.

I thought you said Reuben would be here.

He should've been here last night.

Keith, Danny, we're leaving.

Well, I guess we'll just have to stall for time, that's all.

The camera. That's it.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

Mom!

Look, before you go,

I wanna get a picture of you two in your camping clothes.

[♪♪♪]

Laurie: Keith... Now smile.

We look terrible. Great. No, it's good stuff.

Uh, Danny, let me get a shot of the three of you now.

Uh, okay, yeah.

Yeah, get in between them. Good, good.

Smile. Great.

Hey, let me get a picture of you, mom and Laurie together.

Great idea.

Danny: Okay. Mm-hm.

Danny: Smile.

Ready? Got it.

While we're taking pictures,

let me take a picture of you two.

Okay. Great.

[♪♪♪]

Ready? Sure.

Smile pretty. Oh, it's nice.

[Sighs]

Good. Now, Danny,

why don't you take a picture of Keith?

Great. Yeah.

Over here. Okay.

Okay.

Danny: Smile.

Be sure to get his good side.

Then I'll have to wait till he grows one.

Just take the picture, will you?

This picture would make a great centerfold for boring magazine.

Never mind. Mom...?

[Engine turns over]

Mom. Mom, wait! Mom!

Danny: Mom! Mom! No, mom!

[♪♪♪]

Come on, come on.

Rescue squad, ready and cleared for takeoff.

Okay, which way? Keith: Beasley street, right.

Danny: Duncan drive, left. Keith: Beasley, right.

Danny: Duncan, left.

Keith: I tell you, it's beasley, right.

Danny: Duncan, left.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

There. Ready? Yep.

Well, which way do you wanna go?

Well, that looks like a nice direction.

Fine.

Hey, your knitting's sticking out.

She brought her knitting.

Maybe she's going to knit a tent.

[♪♪♪]

Okay, they're out of sight. Come on, troops. Move out.

What is this "Troops, move out"?

He's been that way ever since he saw patton.

Forward, ho.

Keith: Boy, did they look funny in those hats.

Kincaid: Yeah, you can sure spot a tenderfoot.

Danny: No talking in the ranks.

How far do you wanna go?

We can keep walking until we get tired

and then we can set up camp.

[Squeals in pain] Did you hear something?

No. What did it sound like?

It must've been a bird squawking.

I haven't heard a noise like that

since Tracy bit Reuben on the toe.

[Laughing]

Oh, i... I haven't felt pain like this

since Tracy bit me on the toe.

We have to keep going.

Keith, we'll have to carry Mr. Kincaid's stuff.

[Sighing] Why can't we just take a rest?

My arm must be 6 inches longer than it was two hours ago.

Stop complaining.

Now you can put your socks on without bending over.

Why can't we walk on the path like the girls?

Why do we have to burrow through this underbrush

like a pack of gophers?

If we go on the path, they might look back and see us.

Oh, I wanna stay here and rest. I can't go another step.

Oh, no. There they go.

We can't stop now, or we'll lose them.

Why? They're jogging.

Troops, ten-hut!

Double time, ho!

Left! Ah!

Left! Oh!

Left, right, left! Ahh!

If this tent isn't tied right,

it can fall on us in the middle of the night.

I don't know how to tie a good, solid knot.

Sure you do. You make knots all the time in knitting.

Make a purl, pull the end through,

and then pull it down tight.

Purl.

I think it'll work.

I just wish Keith and Danny were here to see that.

[Whispering] I don't believe it. They are knitting a tent.

The first good wind, they're gonna drop a stitch.

Boy, that food smells good.

I haven't eaten since last night.

What do you say? Let's eat.

Okay. Great idea.

[♪♪♪]

Okay.

Well, let's break out the food.

Fine.

Okay.

[♪♪♪]

Well? Keith?

Well, I thought you brought the food.

Why would I bring the food?

You're the one that eats all the time.

No food?

Okay, so, uh, we forgot to bring the food.

We can always get some berries and stuff in the morning.

Right. We'll just have to rough it tonight. No problem.

It's usually the victims who have to rough it,

not the rescuers.

Well, we might as well set up camp.

Yeah, it's a bit chilly out here.

Fine. Let's break out the bedrolls.

Who's got the bedrolls?

Mom and Laurie.

Of course they've got the bedrolls.

Let's break out the blankets.

I'll settle for blankets. So will I.

You must've brought something.

Same thing I pack every time we go on tour.

Socks, handkerchiefs, shorts.

Well, mom always packs everything else.

A rubber duck? It is not a duck.

It's a Mallard.

You're no general patton. Well, what did you bring?

Well, uh, I brought socks and handkerchiefs...

And shorts. And a guitar.

Why did you bring a guitar?

I don't know. Force of habit, I guess.

Mom always packs everything else.

Wonderful.

Well, what did you bring, besides your camera?

Well, a couple of suits...

Socks, handkerchiefs, shorts.

Toothbrush, an electric razor

and an electric hair dryer.

Allow me one luxury.

Look, let's just go to sleep, okay?

Okay, fine with me.

Sure is cold. I wish I had my jacket.

Yeah, I forgot how cold it gets up here

in the mountains at night.

Hey, maybe it'd help if we put on all our shorts.

Okay.

You can wear my suits.

Who wants the $200 mohair?

Don't worry, Reuben. We'll... We'll pay to have them cleaned.

At least we'll be warm enough to get some sleep tonight.

There's one problem. I can't sleep.

Why? I'm starving to death.

[♪♪♪]

It was a great meal, mom, but I ate too much.

Oh, me too.

Oh, boy, I'm tired.

It's a good kind of tired. I know.

It's so peaceful and relaxing out here.

It certainly makes you forget all your problems.

Yeah.

Oh, it's been a great day, mom.

Good night. Night, honey.

[♪♪♪]

[Whispering] Come on.

We can't just come in here and steal their food.

Stealing is wrong.

Would you rather wake them up and ask them for it?

Let's steal it.

[♪♪♪]

Jackpot. Beans. You call that a jackpot?

Take anything.

[Clattering]

Did you hear something? [Squeaking]

Sounds like...

A Mallard.

[Squeaking]

Yeah, a rubber Mallard.

I don't think they're flying this time of year.

[♪♪♪]

[Moaning]

[Mallard squeaks]

You got the beans? Got them.

Great.

But before we get our hopes up...

Who has a can opener?

It's one thing a bachelor is never without.

Great. Well, let's build a fire.

Give me a match.

No matches?

I don't care! I'll eat them cold!

So will I. Give me the can opener.

Mr. Kincaid, you said a bachelor is never without a can opener.

That is perfectly true.

How far is the car from here?

[Sighing]

Well, I guess we might as well try to get to sleep.

I can tell by the silence you hate me.

One little mistake. We starve for one night.

Reuben, if it would make you feel any better, I'd nag you,

but I'm too tired.

Mr. Kincaid, it's not your fault. We forgot things too.

So I forget one can opener and it's the old polite routine.

Well, if that's the way you feel about it, good night.

Whoa! Whoa!

[♪♪♪]

Keith: Reuben, are you all right?

Mr. Kincaid?

Kincaid: I suppose you forgot to bring a rope too.

[♪♪♪]

Mr. Kincaid, wake up.

Roast duck, potatoes au gratin.

Come on, Reuben, wake up. Mom and Laurie are gone.

Just a few more minutes. I haven't ordered dessert yet.

Okay, troops. Fall out!

[♪♪♪]

[Inaudible dialogue]

[♪♪♪]

[Inaudible dialogue]

[Inaudible dialogue]

[♪♪♪]

If nature's so perfect, why doesn't it make a can opener?

Why? Why?

Mr. Kincaid, get ahold of yourself.

[Laughing]

We must be near a can opener.

I found a pair of shorts.

Those are mine.

We've been walking in circles.

I'm afraid he's right. This is where mom and Laurie camped.

There's only one thing left we can do.

Yell for a can opener.

Reuben, what if someone heard us? It's embarrassing.

What if they don't hear us?

All: Help! Help!

Shirley: I hear you!

Oh, I knew we'd be embarrassed,

but I didn't think it'd be so fast.

What are you doing here?

How'd you find us? We found a trail of clothes

with Danny's name stenciled on them.

Were you following us? No, no.

No, we were just out on a little Sunday hike and we...

Well, we got a little misplaced and...

Just take us back to the bus, please.

You were following us.

All I know is they said

they were taking me to a drive-in movie.

Please, we... We've come to rescue you.

Do you have any food? Water?

Just show us how to get out of here.

I don't know if we should. Oh, please, you have to.

Okay, let's go. Wait.

Aren't you taking us back to the bus?

Yes.

Well, it's not that way. It's that way.

No, I'm sure it's that way.

It can't be that way. It has to be over there.

We came from that path. No!

[Chattering indistinctly]

Girl: Hi, Mrs. Partridge! Hi, girls!

All: Hi!

Do you know those girls? Where'd they come from?

We had breakfast with them this morning.

Yeah, there's a girl ranger's lodge

about 50 yards from here. You've gotta be kidding.

What's wrong with those guys, Mrs. Partridge?

They lost or something?

We are not lost!

We were sent here on a survival test by the Pentagon.

We know exactly where we are and exactly what we're doing.

Oh, did the Pentagon tell you to stand in poison oak?

[♪♪♪]

Great, Reuben. The Pentagon, huh?

[Laughing]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[Both sneeze]

We had a lot of fun on grandma and grandpa's farm.

We went swimming in the goldfish pond with live fish.

Looks like you had fun too.

Get out of here, kid, before I Pierce your ears.

Well, how do you guys feel?

I've got a cold. I think I've got frostbite.

I'd have to get better to die.

What's that? What do you think it is? Dinner.

We're gonna nurse you back to health.

Well, it's the least we can do

since you risked your lives to save us.

They're making fun of us. We try to do a good deed,

and they humiliate us in return. Are we gonna take that?

[♪♪♪]

Of course we're gonna take that.

Boy, I'm starved.

Kincaid: Beans.

I found your can opener.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]