Original subtitles

[The partridge family's "come on get happy" playing]

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

[Singing "it's time that I knew you"]

Kincaid: I don't know why we're driving home this way.

Highway 21 is shorter and faster.

Shirley: This way is a little longer,

but it's much prettier. Kincaid: You call this pretty?

Where's the glamour, where's the neon?

Where's your soul?

I sold it in a garage sale.

After three long weeks on the road,

we deserve a few days to relax.

I've been singing so much,

my cheeks are getting callused.

Keith, slow down.

That looks like a great spot for a picnic.

A picnic? Darn, I left my maypole at home.

Let's go explore.

Don't go too far. We won't.

If we have to have a picnic, couldn't we have it in the parking lot?

Oh, Reuben. I'm serious.

You don't have to worry about poison oak

and asphalt doesn't get in your shoes.

Why don't we spread the blankets here.

If we want to make Mr. Kincaid happy,

maybe we should spread the blankets under the bus.

Perfect. I love oil in my salad.

Mom, mom, guess what we found! What?

A mermaid. A mermaid?

Over there, come on.

It's probably a dead perch.

[♪♪♪]

Tracy: The mermaid's in the pond.

[♪♪♪]

What is it? Uh, it's nothing.

Right, nothing. I don't see a thing.

Then, how come I can't look?

[♪♪♪]

Oh, really?

Out. Everybody out.

[♪♪♪]

That's no dead perch.

Come on, Danny.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Isn't this a beautiful place? Keith: Sure is.

Jenny: I come here all the time when I'm in this area.

Oh? I'll have to remember that.

Me too.

How long have you been on the road, Jenny?

About a year. How do your parents feel about that?

My parents are dead. I'm the only one left.

Oh, I'm sorry. No, don't be.

We weren't a very close family. I hardly ever knew them at all.

Gee, that's rough.

Well, maybe I missed a lot not having a family,

but it taught me to do a lot of things by myself.

[Car approaching]

Looks like we have company.

Uh-oh.

What does he want?

I'll bet you anything he wants to hassle me.

Have you done something wrong?

No, but a lot of people

don't seem to like the way I look.

They've never seen your dead-perch act.

Hi, folks.

Are you really the partridge family?

I saw your name on the side of the bus.

Yes, we are. Imagine that.

I listen to your records all the time.

Thank you.

What can we do for you, officer?

I have a report

that there's a hippie girl camping around here.

You haven't seen her, have you?

Has this girl done something wrong?

Oh, no. But folks around here

just don't like that kind hanging around.

What do you intend to do with this girl when you find her?

Arrest her for vagrancy or something.

We like to keep them out so the area

can be enjoyed by decent folks like yourself.

I see.

Is this girl with you?

[♪♪♪]

Yes, she is.

Policeman: Okay, then, that's all right.

Say, before I leave, I wonder if I can get

an autograph for my son, do you mind?

No, not at all.

What's your son's name? Officer mooney.

[♪♪♪]

We should be home in a couple of hours.

You might as well spend the night at our place.

Thank you.

You know, you really have a great family.

You're all so together.

Yeah. We get along most of the time.

In a way I feel sorry for you. You do?

You've got everything going for you, except freedom.

Who's not free?

I mean, you all have to work so much.

I think we're lucky.

I mean, we do work hard, but let's face it:

There are worse ways of making a living.

Yeah, there's other things besides making money.

True, but the only reason

mom let us form the group in the first place

was to make enough money to put us through college.

But I guess it would be nice

if we had a million dollars and didn't have to work.

As a kid,

I always wished someone would give me a million dollars.

Yeah, that'd be all right.

Danny: Tax-free?

[♪♪♪]

Morning. jenny: Morning.

Danny: You look like you're going to a boy scout jamboree.

But I don't think you'll pass the physical.

I hope not.

Well, I guess I better get along.

Where you gonna go?

I don't know.

But I'll see you again. Goodbye.

I think Tracy'd like to say goodbye. I'll go get her.

I looked into her room on the way down.

Let her sleep. Goodbye.

Look, could I give you a ride or something?

No, thanks. I'd rather walk.

Goodbye. be careful.

Don't take a ride from strangers.

Danny: See you later.

Goodbye, Jenny.Bye.

Mom, look what the tooth fairy left under my pillow.

I didn't know you had a loose tooth.

I didn't. I guess I owe her one.

What is it, mom?

A bankbook.

A million dollars deposited in my name.

[♪♪♪]

Danny, is this your idea of a joke?

Are you kidding?

I don't even pretend to give away money.

Let me see. Something fell out.

It's a note from Jenny.

"Hi.

You probably think this is a joke, but it isn't.

I inherited a $14-million business from my father,

and I doubt if this even amounts

to the interest in his investments.

Please accept this not as a gift,

but for being a family to me that I never had.

I hope you use the money

to find the kind of freedom I have.

Love, Jenny."

I think the tooth fairy just bounced her first check.

Nobody gives away a million dollars.

No, they don't.

[Phone ringing]

Hello? mrs. Partridge?

Yes, this is Mrs. Partridge.

This is l.J. Belson.

President of the San pueblo national bank.

Yes, Mr. Belson.

I'm very sorry I was late with that mortgage payment.

But I mailed it out yesterday.

Belson: Oh, I'm sure you did.

I was just calling to congratulate you

on being our first million-dollar depositor.

Now, now, you be sure

and call me if you need any little thing.

Why, yes...

I will. Thank you.

What's wrong, mom?

Are they foreclosing?

No, not today.

Kids,

we're millionaires.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Now that you've got a million dollars,

what's the first thing you're gonna do?

Gloat.

Besides that.

Invest it.

I think the first thing I'm gonna do is

charter a boat and sail to the Caribbean.

Great. I'll rent it to you.

Why don't you buy the boat, Keith?

Because I bought it first.

What are you gonna do, Chris?

Buy a catcher's mitt.

No wonder you're so short, you think small.

But then I'm gonna buy the Los Angeles Dodgers.

I'm not selling.

Hi.

Yachting caps?

Why not? Our ship's finally come in.

[♪♪♪]

Something wrong?

Everybody in town must know we have a million dollars.

People keep calling me trying to sell me something.

That phone hasn't stopped ringing.

So have it disconnected. We can afford it.

I'm not gonna spend any of that money.

Mom, you don't make any money if you save it.

You have to invest.

Danny, we're not gonna save it or invest it or anything else.

We're going to give it back.

You're kidding.

I have the police out searching for Jenny right now.

I'm sure by now she's had time to think about it.

She'll want it back.

Oh, I doubt it.

I think that's why she left the way she did,

so we had to take it.

Oh, the partridge family, all together.

Just as I imagined you would be.

We're not all together. Laurie and Tracy aren't here.

Well, I have a very poor imagination.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Lumus d. Palmer.

We have mutual friends.

Who?

I understand you may be seeking roomier living quarters.

I know of a luxurious estate on the coast of Maine.

Now I recognize that voice.

I just talked to you on the phone.

Yes, unfortunately we were disconnected.

I hung up on you!

If you're not interested in that,

perhaps a rancho grande in west Texas.

Go away.

How about a hunting lodge in Detroit?

Out!

A manservant, I have excellent references.

But I don't need a Learjet. It wouldn't fit in our garage.

Tracy: Mom?

I brought a friend home. Is that okay?

Sure. come on in, bill.

Tracy, where did you get that?

A man gave it to me.

A man just doesn't give you a pony.

He did. He said he'd bill you later.

That's why I named him bill.

[♪♪♪]

[Doorbell ringing]

I'll get it.

Miss Laurie partridge? Yes.

My name is sir guy.

You bought a dress I designed at bartlett's today.

I thought I might take this opportunity to deliver it.

In person. Oh, well, thank you.

I'm pleased that you selected my design.

Though it is the cheapest...

The least expensive of my line.

I thought I might take this opportunity to show you

my more exclusive designs.

Sheila.

[♪♪♪]

Sheila is wearing a black crepe evening dress

with a modest plunge back.

And silver slippers, perfect for a night out with a diplomat

or your favorite student prince.

Only $500, without the slippers, of course.

Thank you, Sheila.

Tanya.

Tanya is dressed in a silver lamé sheath

accessorized with mother-of-Pearl.

Mom, there're five more girls out there.

I can bring more.

I'm sorry.

I don't approve of door-to-door fashion shows.

It's only $350.

I don't care. Get your mother-of-Pearl out of here!

As you wish. Come, Tanya.

I should have realized we were dealing with

peasants.

[♪♪♪]

Mom, I didn't know a thing about that.

I just bought a $10 dress.

Honey, it isn't your fault. They found out we're rich,

and the sharks are coming in for the...

Excuse me, ladies.

Who are you? A telephone man, lady.

I just put a phone in that redheaded kid's room.

Oh, you did.

[♪♪♪]

Danny?

Danny: Sorry, mom, I'm indisposed.

You better get disposed and open this door.

Mom, Howard Hughes never opens his door.

Danny, you're gonna open this door

and get rid of that phone immediately.

Okay.

Mom, if you're not gonna let me be a financial mogul,

you probably won't let me keep my private secretary either.

Your what?

[♪♪♪]

What a rotten day.

Laurie: What happened?

The owner of the taco stand

insisted I open a charge account.

I did because it gave me a chance

to do something I always wanted to do.

Oh?

Yeah, I took all my friends down there,

and I let them eat all they wanted to, on me.

Twenty-six bucks worth of tacos.

That made you feel bad?

I thought it would be a groovy thing to do, you know?

But they didn't appreciate it.

I mean, they ate the tacos.

They didn't eat them with meaning.

You know what I mean? Danny: Yeah, I know.

I gave punky lazaar my old first baseman's mitt.

He asked me why I didn't buy him a new one.

I guess when you get something

for nothing you just don't appreciate it

as much as when you have to work for it yourself.

[Doorbell ringing]

If you're not a salesman, come in.

Hi.

Well, guess what.

I finally managed to get you booked

into oceanside park this weekend.

Why should we work? We're filthy rich.

I'll tell you why: It'll be fun.

I'd much rather be like we were two weeks ago

than like we are right now.

Me too. I never dreamed

that money could make us fall apart like this.

It's just like the tacos. It was given to us.

Well, then I think the first order of business

is to give the money back.

[♪♪♪]

Can I have a little time to think it over?

Keith: Where are we gonna find Jenny?

The police haven't come up with anything yet.

Well, have you tried looking

in the same place you found her?

[♪♪♪]

Oh, no sense in all of us going.

I'll go see if she's here.

I'd better go with him, mom. He might get lost.

Three heads are better than two.

[♪♪♪]

I take it you found her.

Found? Who?

Danny: The perch.

Come on.

Shirley: Jenny, there's nothing wrong with money if you work for it.

It's a symbol for your labor.

So you can respect it and appreciate it.

But if it's given to you, it isn't the same.

It isn't really yours.

Keith: Money isn't freedom.

If it were, you wouldn't be living the way you do.

I guess you're right. I hardly spend any money at all.

That's why you feel free. You do it yourself.

Well, if that's the way you feel, I'll take it back.

This is the first time

someone's given back a million dollars.

Well,

not quite a million.

Being a millionaire has some overhead.

Installing a phone, uninstalling a phone.

Twenty-six dollars worth of tacos.

One million dollars even.

You're gonna make up the difference.

You're kidding?

Will I have to pay for the man who cleaned up after my pony?

[♪♪♪]

[Singing "it's time that I knew you better"]

[Crowd clapping]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

With a hotel, that's $2000 you owe me.

Okay.

Let's see, I can mortgage baltic and oriental.

Uh-huh. And that puts you about 1900 short.

Face it, you're out of the game.

I've got a deal for you.

How about if I owe you the money and pay you later?

Not a chance. Pay up.

Look, you've got all the money now.

What good will it do you if I go out?

I'll win.

A bird out of the game is worth two in contention.

[Phone ringing]

Hello? mrs. Partridge?

This is l.J. Belson.

President of the bank.

Oh, yes, Mr. Belson.

I've called to congratulate you again.

You were the first person to deposit a million dollars.

You were also the first person to withdraw a million dollars.

Yes, I'm sorry about that, Mr. Belson, but things happen.

Please, please, no excuses are necessary.

Easy come, easy go.

Of course, we'll continue to extend

the same, fine courteous service we always have.

Thank you. There's only one thing:

Your mortgage payment is one week late.

I'd like to see that check

in this office next week or else.

If you've already mailed the check, ignore this call.

I have and I will.

Goodbye.

What was that all about?

Do not pass go.

Do not collect a million dollars.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]