Original subtitles

[In ing]

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

[♪♪♪]

Hi. Hi.

Where's shirley? Uh, she went to the store.

Well, the itinerary for the summer tour is finally set.

Great. uh, why don't you put it up on the communications center?

The what?

Oh, it's danny's latest invention.

He calls it the communications center.

Anyone else would call it a bulletin board.

It figures.

Okay. "to keith, i want the $5 you owe me." signed danny.

"To chris, i want the quarter you owe me." signed...

"To mr. kincaid, i want the $1.50 you owe me." signed danny.

Sure, when i'm solvent, he doesn't make public announcements.

You're supposed to initial it after you read it.

Danny's efficiency program.

Yeah, well, he won't get anything in writing from me.

[♪♪♪]

Hi, mr. kincaid. What are you doing here?

Hi, tracy. well, i just brought by the schedule for the summer tour.

Can i see it? Sure.

[Grunts]

What is c-h-i? Chicago.

What is d-e-t? Detroit.

Is she supposed to initial it too?

Oh, i see, you just make your mark.

[Car door closes]

Hi, shirley. Reuben.

I didn't know you were in town today.

I only have a casserole for dinner.

That sounds great, but i am having dinner tonight

with bonnie kleinschmitt at her house.

She's gonna show me her snapshots of the siegfried line.

Mom, reuben brought by the tour schedule.

Oh, yeah. it's on the board. The one with the fresh handprint.

Oh.

Oh, no. it even looks longer on paper.

Well, it's a two-month tour.

Reuben, the more i think about it,

the more i know i can't make it.

We'll be traveling all over the country.

Hi, mr. kincaid. Mom, did you get my issue

of the u.s. finances and monetary report?

It's in the bag with your liquorice whips. Danny: thanks.

Now, what do you mean, you'll never make it?

You've done it before.

Yes, but the longest has been two weeks.

This will be two months of driving the bus

during the day and performing at night.

Well, keith can help you drive.

Then we'll both be exhausted.

We can't perform our best when we can't keep awake.

Besides, keith needs all the beauty sleep he can get. yuck.

I can't do it, reuben. Really, i can't.

Why don't we hire a driver?

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

We could put an ad in the newspaper.

Yeah, i was just about to think of that.

So much for the bus. Now, let's get down to business.

Fine. Tracy's the only one

that initialed the itinerary.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[Tires screeching]

[Tires screeching]

[Air hissing]

Oh, dear,

i guess i misjudged the curb a little.

This bus,

it handles so much differently than my electric car.

I understand.

Uh... We have a few more

applicants to see, mrs. weinstock.

We'll let you know.

Oh, well, thank you, dearie. And don't you be prejudiced

just because i'm a woman. I can hack it.

[Horn honks] Oh! well...

[Chuckling]

[♪♪♪]

[Tires screeching]

Can i try it again? Yeah. go ahead, try it.

[Engine sputtering]

Maybe all it needed was a rest.

It's out of gas. I know how to fix it.

She probably jarred something loose when she went over the curb.

Try it now.

[Engine starts]

What did you do? Uh, sometimes, these old babies,

the carburetor linkage goes out of whack.

Well, you saved our lives.

She exaggerates a little, but thanks a lot.

That's okay.

Thank you. You saved our lives.

Like mother, like daughter.

It is a good thing you came along.

Well, i'm johnny burnhardt. I'm here about the ad.

[♪♪♪]

I hope you don't mind us asking you these questions.

No. Being interviewed

by seven people is practically a hobby of mine.

I hope he likes baseball. What's your favorite sport?

Baseball. What's your favorite color?

What's yours?

I don't have any either.

Will you work for peanuts?

I'm sure whatever you people pay will be fair.

You know, i like him. He's got a lot of class

for someone that's gonna be working for peanuts.

Well, he certainly knows how to fix a bus.

[♪♪♪]

Well?

Welcome to the partridge family.

That's great.

[♪♪♪]

Johnny: There's a filling station coming up.

Anyone want to stop?

Shirley: Not unless we need gas.

Tracy: We'd better stop, mom.

Shirley: Tracy, you should've done that before we left.

Chris: I guess i should've too.

Shirley: oh, chris. Danny: me too.

Keith: Well, since we're gonna stop anyway.

Johnny: One filling station, coming up.

[♪♪♪]

Burnhardt. that you?

Ingram. well, i'll be. What are you doing out here?

[♪♪♪]

[Inaudible dialogue]

Got me a customer. I'll talk to you in a minute.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Doesn't it strike you strange that he uses the phone so much?

Why should it? He said he was calling relatives.

In every town we've been in?

So far, he's had a brother in marysville,

a sister in chicago

and a grandmother in boise.

So he has a big family. [Sighs]

I think there's a better explanation.

He's a floating bookie. He's a what?

Don't you get it? He took the money from the guy...

And he phoned in a bet. He's a floating bookie.

Danny, your imagination is getting totally out of hand.

Okay, maybe i don't have any real evidence,

but i'm gonna keep my eyes open.

Johnny: Hi, kids.

Hey, what looks good in the fifth?

The what?

[♪♪♪]

Hi. what will you have?

I'll have milk on the rocks.

Excuse me, sir. have you always worn glasses and a false nose?

I'm working undercover. Pretend you don't know me.

Oh, i will.

Who are you? Never mind that.

Do you know who that man is in the dark suit?

[Inaudible dialogue]

Yeah. what's it to you?

Is he a bookie?

Are you putting me on? He's a local parole officer.

You're kidding.

I tell you, we got a gangster driving our bus.

For all we know, he may be a killer.

Danny, yesterday you thought he was a floating bookie.

In seattle, you thought he was a member of the cia.

And now, you think he's a killer on parole.

But this time, i have proof.

I saw him talking to a parole officer.

The waitress told me. If johnny was talking

to a parole officer, then that means... He's a jailbird.

Ex-jailbird. He's a parolee.

Now i know why you have red hair.

Your brain is rusted.

Okay, laugh it off. But when we're captured

and tied up in our sleep, i'll have the last laugh.

[Knocking on door]

Come in.

Hi. i was wondering what time tomorrow you'd like to push off.

Uh, kids, could i speak to johnny alone for a minute?

Yeah. come on. Let's go.

Oh, mom. if you want me, i'll be next door...

Polishing my nickel-plated revolver.

Sit down, johnny.

Is something wrong?

Johnny, are you on parole?

On parole? me?

[Chuckling] What would i be on parole for?

If you are, it doesn't matter. Of course it matters.

But if you made a mistake...

It wasn't a mistake. It was armed robbery.

Would you have hired me if i told you that?

[♪♪♪]

I'm sorry if i got upset.

Mrs. partridge, i don't intend to get into any more trouble.

Johnny, i know that.

I know you're not involved in anything...

But i would appreciate it if you'd clear up a few things for me.

I hope you'll understand.

Sure.

Just a mother looking out for her kids.

Thanks.

Now, what's a floating bookie?

I've heard of a bookie and a floating crap game,

but i've never heard of a floating bookie.

But you took money from that gas-station attendant.

He was a friend of mine. He owed it to me.

I knew him in prison.

And did you really have

all those relatives in all those cities?

Oh, the phone calls.

Mrs. partridge, i have to check in and out

with the parole officers wherever we go.

I see.

Thanks for explaining it to me, johnny.

Mrs. partridge, i'd like to keep this job.

You have a nice family, and they call me mister.

[Chuckles]

Mom? oh, hi, mr. burnhardt.

I didn't know you were still here.

Mom, do you remember where you put my spare bullets?

Danny. [Laughing]

Keith: Hey, they review us?

Danny: Here it is. There's that word again.

What word? "Wholesome." Yuck!

Hey, somebody robbed a bank yesterday and got away with $10,000.

Even got a picture of the guy doing it.

How did they do that? Hidden camera, i guess.

Look, it's mr. burnhardt.

What? don't be ridiculous. I'm not. look.

Same windbreaker, same tennis shoes,

same back of the head. Let me see that.

Hey, you know, it does kind of look like him.

Sorry i'm late. Hope i didn't hold you up.

[♪♪♪]

[♪ ♪]

Well, is there anything else you'd like me to do before i flake out?

No, johnny. Get some sleep.

Right. good night, everybody. sleep well.

Good night, johnny. Shirley: good night.

Okay, kids. Let's talk.

Mom, his picture's right here in the paper.

I see a picture of a man with his back to the camera.

Mom, his build, the clothes.

That picture could be any one of a million people.

It could be reuben.

It is kind of spooky, though.

I mean, he's wearing a windbreaker just like johnny's.

And those tennis shoes.

Laurie: I have sneakers and a windbreaker.

Honestly, you're worse than danny

and you're old enough to know better.

I didn't say i believed it.

I just said it was spooky.

You're allowing your imaginations

to run away with you at johnny's expense.

Mom, i like mr. burnhardt.

But i'm just looking out for you.

Danny, if i suspected johnny of being a bank robber,

i'd be the first one to call the police.

Now, let's forget the whole thing, okay?

Okay, it's forgotten.

Mind if i lock the door?

[♪♪♪]

Danny: But mr. burnhardt knows

you're not supposed to be in town.

If he recognizes you, he's gonna be suspicious.

Hiding behind this newspaper's bad enough.

There is no way i'm going to wear this silly thing.

What's so silly about it? You're gonna blow our cover.

[♪♪♪]

Reuben, what are you doing here?

Danny, did you call him?

Danny [in high-pitched voice]: Danny? danny who?

You got the wrong person, lady.

If you don't stop telling lies,

your nose is gonna grow shorter.

See?

Danny, you did call him.

I did it for your protection.

Now, don't get mad at danny too fast.

He explained everything to me and he showed the picture.

Maybe he has grounds to be concerned.

Oh, reuben. Laurie, the man has committed

armed robbery before.

Well, i admit, the picture is vague,

but it could be johnny.

I think this whole thing is getting out of hand.

Look, i don't want to get him into trouble,

if he's innocent, but why not play it safe?

I'll go over to the police station

and see if they've caught the robber.

If they have, well, we can all rest easy.

Reuben, i don't like it.

Well, i don't either.

But just... Just let me handle it.

Believe me, johnny will never know about this.

Officer: This is a robbery over in placerville, huh?

I don't think they did catch that man yet. why do you ask?

Oh, no reason. i, uh...

I read about it in the paper, and i was curious.

Well, it's hard to tell anything by this picture.

The man looks to be about six foot, well built.

Could be a lot of people.

[♪♪♪]

Even you. Oh.

Tell me, friend...

Is this a prescription nose?

[Chuckles]

Well, i...

I told you, i am innocent.

I'm a victim of circumstantial evidence.

You'll never get away with this, you know.

I have friends in high places.

Sure you do. you have one phone call. so make it good.

By the way, if i were you, i wouldn't call the president.

He's not taking any calls today.

[Laughing]

President, not taking calls, huh?

Funny. very funny.

But you'll talk out of the other end

of your bullhorn in a minute.

Uh, hello? Room 392, please.

[Music playing on tv] [Phone rings]

Hello?

Tracy?

Uh, is your mother there, dear?

Oh.

Well, is anybody older than you there?

Yeah, well, listen, dear, this is mr. kincaid and i only have one call,

because i'm in jail. So i want you to be sure to...

Hello? tracy!

Forget the tv, tracy!

Does this call have to count? She's only five.

Uh...

Tracy, turn off the tv.

No, you don't want to watch sesame street right now.

Hello?!

[Sighs]

The cookie monster was on.

I don't understand what's happened to reuben.

He should be back by now,

or at least have called. He called, mom.

Announcer [over pa system]: Ladies and gentlemen...

He did? Why didn't you tell me?

Where is he? He's in jail.

Announcer: The partridge family.

[Applause]

[Playing and singing "rainmaker"]

[Applause]

Innocent.

I-n-n-o-cent. Innocent!

This is what happened to the count of monte cristo, you know.

Being railroaded into jail for a crime he didn't commit.

There. there's your man, officer.

I'm here in this rotten jail,

and he is running around scot-free.

Reuben, please. I'm glad you're here, shirley.

Just, get me out of here.

Tell this man how i was in los angeles during the robbery.

And tell him who the real prime suspect is.

Who is the prime suspect?

Ah. where were you

yesterday afternoon at 2:00 in placerville?

Do you remember the name of the bank?

I wasn't in any bank. [Sighs]

I was having a cup of coffee...

With my parole officer. Oh.

Sure. danny saw me.

He was sitting a couple of booths away.

He was wearing those glasses with the funny nose.

[♪♪♪]

Good news, officer.

This man's got an airtight alibi. me.

Well?

No luck?

I tried. he won't even open his door.

Well, i guess he's gonna leave then.

I really did do my best, kids.

He just won't listen to me. i'm sorry.

Well, is there anything we can do?

[Footsteps approaching]

Hey, mr. burnhardt, where are you going?

Grandma's sick. I have to go to san francisco.

Well, you don't have to just run off, johnny.

Hang around a few minutes. Let me buy you some breakfast.

I'd take him up on that if i were you.

That's an offer that's practically unheard of.

Mr. burnhardt, what's your favorite color?

I ain't got one, kid. I gotta go.

Mr. burnhardt, this whole thing is my fault.

Don't blame mr. kincaid and my family.

Hate me.

Hate you? you kidding?

You're my star witness. You got me off the hook.

Johnny,

i understand why you want to leave.

You don't think we trust you. but we do.

Mr. burnhardt,

you know that nickel-plated revolver

i said i was polishing?

I don't have a nickel-plated revolver.

No kidding?

I don't even have any spare bullets.

Please give us a second chance.

The warden gave me a second chance.

And a shiny suit and $70.

I think i got a little more this time.

Mr. kincaid,

will you spring for steak and eggs?

Sure. i can take it off my income tax.

[Laughing]

Hey, kincaid, you'd better get rid of that windbreaker.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Well, i guess that's it.

The bus is pretty well unloaded.

Johnny, i don't know how to thank you.

If we ever need a temporary bus driver again,

i certainly hope you're available.

So do i. You're good people.

Well, i guess i ought to go.

Not yet. you have to stay for dinner.

No, thanks, laurie. I couldn't do that.

I think it's easier if i just move on.

[♪♪♪]

Johnny, is something wrong?

Yes, mrs. partridge, there is.

It's that letter of recommendation you wrote for me.

You know, a copy of it goes to my parole officer.

I know. Well, that's the problem.

I'm afraid it'll get me into trouble.

But it was a very good recommendation.

Oh, too good. You see, with my record,

my parole officer will think

i wrote that letter myself and forged your name.

So could you tone it down a little?

I see. Anything you want.

You're very understanding.

And to make it really official, i'll have everyone initial it.

Oh! Danny.

[All laughing]

[Sighs]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]