Original subtitles

[The partridge family's "come on get happy" playing]

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

[Doorbell ringing]

[Doorbell continues]

All right, all right, I'm coming.

[♪♪♪]

Man: Shirley? Dad.

Are you gonna stare at me with one eyeball all night?

Sorry. For a moment, I thought you were an overaged boy scout.

What is happening?

Grandpa, what are you doing here?

Just thought I'd stop by and say hello.

Hello. Hello.

At 1:00 in the morning? The shank of the evening.

What's going on down here?

Grandpa, how come you're wearing those funny clothes?

I was hoping he was on his way home from a costume party.

You have been stuck inside so long,

you don't recognize somebody wearing outdoor gear.

Well, where's grandma? At home, as usual.

Warm milk and in bed by 9:30. That's her idea of a wild time.

Are you staying here tonight? Yeah.

It's my first stop on the way to big sur.

What about mom? Isn't she going with you?

We've split. Broken up.

[Speaks French]

Again? and this time it's for good,

and don't look so surprised. Everybody else is doing it.

I remember when baseball used to be the national pastime.

[Doorbell rings]

What's going on here?

Somebody must have let the word out that we're open 24 hours.

Mom! I left home.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

What's this all about?

He's off on another one of his adolescent binges.

If you had your way, I'd be just like all those stuffy old fogies

that live in our neighboneighborhoodrhood.

I could say a few things now. And you will.

No. I don't wanna talk in front of the children.

They think you're wonderful. Ha!

It's time everyone was in bed anyway.

If he's staying, I'm going.Mom.

One more night isn't going to kill you.

After all, you've slept in the same bed for 40 years.

Everyone's entitled to a little mistake.

Amanda just won't keep up with the times.

She's just a great big hm-hm-hm, square.

Maybe you'll both feel differently about things in the morning.

Not a chance. Ha! Ha-ha!

[♪♪♪]

Aren't you gonna add some more flour?

I wasn't planning to. I always do.

Okay, it doesn't matter to me if you aren't gonna add any more flour.

Boy, am I hungry!

Hold it down. Your grandfather's asleep on the sofa.

It's not normal for kids to be quiet. I might end up maladjusted.

I think we're all suffering from educational overkill.

Do you see? He's interfering with your lives.

You know what I said, he's impossible to live with.

It's not too late to add a little more flour.

For Pete's sakes, Amanda, let her fix the pancakes

the way she wants! It's her house.

Could you get everybody to hold it down, Shirley?

I'm trying to sleep.

[♪♪♪]

If you wanna make a noise, Shirley,

you go right ahead. It's your house.

I knew she was gonna say that!

[♪♪♪]

[Music playing]

[Tires screeching]

[Crashing]

[Mouthing] Oh, no.

Shirley: Would you kids tell me

why you're escorting me into the cellar?

Danny: Because we wanna talk to you in private.

And for now, don't think of us as your kids,

think of us as a grievance committee.

Mom, we love our grandparents an awful lot, but...

To put it tactfully, they're driving us up the walls.

Yeah.right.

I realize the last few days

have been rather trying, but I don't know what we can do.

Look, mom, grandpa's a great guy,

but I'm afraid to drive with him.

He keeps wanting to drag with all my friends.

Grandma lowered all the hems on my dresses so that they cover my knees.

Grandpa stepped on my doll and made her wet her new dress.

It's Reuben.

I thought I heard voices down there.

Since when has the partridge family gone underground?

There is a logical explanation.

Well, I don't wanna hear it. Because if it isn't logical, we're all in trouble.

I just wanna see if you got all the arrangements

for the club date day after tomorrow.

Yeah, everything's all set.Good.

But we can't leave until my parents are reconciled.

Well, that's a joke, right? No.

I didn't think so.

We have to get them back together again.

Hey, how about ordering some flowers and candy

for grandma and signing grandpa's name?

Well, he'd just deny he'd sent them. Hey, I've got an idea.

How about if we fix grandpa up with a beautiful girl

and make grandma jealous? Danny, this is not Peyton place.

Please, will somebody come up with something fast?

I'm getting a cramp in my back.

Why don't we just ask them to talk nicely to each other?

What is it with drummers?

I guess the noise affects their brains.

Well, if we could get them to talk to each other, perhaps their quarrel would be over.

But first we'd have to get them to stay in a room together.

Well, it's worth a try, for their sakes. Not to mention ours.

[♪♪♪]

Hello?

Keith? grandpa? I'm in the shower.

Could you do me a favor and get some sheet music for me? I left it in the garage.

If you're in the shower, what do you want with sheet music?

Um, I wanna practice. I always sing in the shower.

Well, sure, I'll get it.

But, hey, look, I left my reading glasses in there.

Do you mind if I come in and get them? Do you have to?

Well, if I'm gonna be hunting around in that garage, I might need them.

Sure. Come on in.

I'll be right back.

[♪♪♪]

Thanks.

Shirley, if you'd get all that out of there

and then move the instruments, I think...

I didn't know this place was occupied.

If you'd knock first, you'd find out.

Who knocks before they come into a garage?

Dad. Dad.

Look, now that you're both here,

won't you tell me once and for all what this argument is about?

There wouldn't be any argument if he'd just act his age.

A regular grandma Moses.

The only time she ever wore hot pants

was when she spilled her tea on them.

There's got to be more to this than just clothes styles.

There sure is. He's got this darn fool notion

of going up and living in the woods at big sur.

Well, it's better than standing around, complaining about your aches and pains!

All right, so you disagree on something.

But that's no reason to split up.

Won't you both agree to try and work this out sensibly?

Mom?

Well, I will if he will.

Dad?

[Mumbling]

That's more like it.

All right, why do you wanna go to big sur?

Because he's off his rocker.

There's your typical establishment thinking!

You're old.

Have you looked in a mirror lately?

Don't you think you both could try...? That does it!

I am leaving for big sur. And I am leaving in the morning!

Have a nice trip!

[♪♪♪]

You were gonna say something?

[Sighs]

I think I better quit while I'm behind.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Well, I suppose you're wondering why I asked you all here.

Keith: Oh, not at all.

It's becoming a family tradition

to hold meetings in the cellar.

Danny, what's your point?

Okay. Everybody look up and tell me what you see.

A crack in the ceiling.Mr. Kincaid's neck.

No. Out the window.

What color is the sky?

Careful, Chris. It might be a trick question.

Blue? right. It's beautiful out.

But grandpa made up some excuse about not leaving

because it's not a nice enough day to leave.

He also claimed he forgot to wind the electric alarm clock.

Is that good or bad?

Good. It means he really doesn't wanna leave mom.

Now all we have to do is to convince him of that.

He'll never believe it. Danny: That's what I figured.

But if we push him into going,

he'll have to face facts and go back with grandma.

Well, I don't know.

It might work. What do you think, mom?

Does anybody have a better idea? Well, I do.

Let's get out of here.

My seersucker's starting to wheeze.

[♪♪♪]

All: Surprise!

Grandpa: What's this all about?

We figured you'd be leaving early tomorrow morning,

and this is our last chance to say goodbye.

Oh?

[♪♪♪]

I made you a present.

Gee, Tracy, that's very nice. Mom helped me with the spelling.

It'll help you get a ride hitchhiking.

Here's my compass. It doesn't work, though.

It always points the same direction.

Oh, that's just fine. Fine, Chris.

I made these socks for your birthday,

but I guess you can use them now.

I'm not very good at knitting.

Oh, they're great. One's knee-length.

Bye-bye.bye-bye.

Here's something in case you get bitten by a rattlesnake.

A bullet? So you have something to bite on.

Bye.bye.

Here's a little something just in case you get bored.

I didn't know they still made these things.

Bye, grandpa.Bye-bye.

All: Bye, grandpa.Bye. Bye.

[♪♪♪]

Well, I guess you'll wanna get some sleep.

Uh... well, I thought I'd listen to the radio.

I'm, uh, kind of into this all-night disc jockey.

But if you're leaving in the morning...

Um...

It's gonna be kind of hot in the morning.

I thought I'd wait till it cools off.

You know, dad, it wouldn't be a crime

if you decided to change your mind about going.

Uh, what makes you think I wanna change my mind?

I don't think you really wanna leave mom.

I just can't wait to leave her.

[♪♪♪]

Dad, all those silly excuses.

It's pretty obvious you're just looking for a reason to keep from going.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

Danny: Mom! Mom! Wake up, wake up! Mom, wake up!

Get up, mom! Danny, what's wrong?

He's gone. I went to get the paper

so I could read the stock market, and grandpa's gone!

He left this note.

Well, he's gone, all right. Our plan backfired.

Grandma, he says you can keep the car,

the house and the electric toothbrush.

Don't worry, mom, he'll come back.

No, he won't. He'll just get lost.

Well, let's go after him. We'll find him if it takes all day.

But what about the show tonight? You know what they say:

"The show must go on." I'd like to know who said that.

The man that's gonna give back the money if we don't show up tonight.

The place we're playing is on the way to big sur anyway.

Let's pack up. Maybe we can catch him.

Honey, you call Reuben, tell him we'll pick him up on the way.

Okay.

[♪♪♪]

Keith: I hope he didn't stop off for something to eat.

Danny: He told me he was gonna trap all his food.

Keith: I hope he stopped off for something to eat.

Grandma: He's out there lost. I know he is.

Shirley: He'll be all right, mom.

Laurie: I think I see something up ahead there.

Danny: Yeah. He's flat on his back.

Dad, are you all right?

Oh, I never felt better in my life. What are you doing here?

We're on our way to a show. Climb aboard.

Uh...

Oh, i... well, when you're hitching,

I don't think it's right to take a ride from somebody you know.

But we're going your way and you had your thumb out.

Well, I... I suppose you're right.

That is the same as a contract.

Boys, help your grandfather.

Stay where you are! I don't need any help. I...

[♪♪♪]

Danny: Hi, grandpa. Chris: Hi, grandpa.

Hi, kids. Hi, kids. Hi, kids.

[♪♪♪]

Well, one nice thing,

we can have a farewell dinner before you go.

[Snoring]

[♪♪♪]

Well, I had to go to every music store in town, but I finally got one.

Good. Do you all know it? Let me glance at it.

I have a photographic mind.

Sure you do. Only you always forget to put the film in.

Mom, where's grandma and grandpa?

Reuben's bringing them here. I hope.

[Singing "I'm on my way back home"]

Enjoy the show.

Thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

I would like to dedicate this next song

to two very special people in our audience tonight.

My mother and father.

Many things have happened during the 40 years they've been married.

But no matter what, they've always managed

to love and understand each other.

I think this song that dad always sings to mom will explain why.

♪ You're my best girl ♪

♪ and nothing you do is wrong ♪

♪ I'm proud you belong to me ♪

♪ and if a day is rough on me ♪

♪ having you there is enough for me ♪

♪ and if someday ♪

♪ another girl comes along ♪

♪ it won't take her long to see ♪

♪ that I'll still be found ♪

♪ just hanging around ♪

♪ my best girl ♪

♪ And if someday ♪

♪ another girl comes along ♪

♪ it won't take her long to see ♪♪

That I'll still be found

just hanging round...

♪ My best girl ♪♪

You old bag, I love you.

[Crowd applauding]

[♪♪♪]

Mom, I think it worked. Let's hope so.

[Knocking]

I'll get it.

Oh, come on in.

It's nice to see you two together.

We just wanted to tell you what we thought

about that song you dedicated to us.

Oh, you don't have to thank us.

We weren't planning to. It was a sentimental trick.

Grandpa: A really hokey stunt

to stir up the old memory glands, right?

Pretty obvious.

You didn't think a few bars of music would change our minds.

There's one thing I'll say for Amanda, you can't hype her.

What does that mean?

They can't pull the wool over your eyes.

Why, thank you.Yes.

Well, at least you agree on something.

Grandpa: That's not so surprising.

No, we've agreed on other things.

Yes. We wouldn't have had all that trouble about big sur

if you weren't so stubborn.

Me? You had to have your own way. You are stubborn.

If you'd only... if you'd just agree to try it for a week.

You didn't ask me to try it. You insisted on going.

Would you try it, mom?

Uh... yes, I suppose so.

You mean it?

I wouldn't pull the hype over your eyes.

Oh, you wouldn't...

Hey, come on. We gotta get going. We got another show.

You two can wait right here if you like.

Oh, would you do us just one more favor?

Sure. What is it? Don't play that song again.

Oh, you do it real well, but nobody does it like guy lombardo.

Grandpa: No.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]