Original subtitles

[The partridge family's "Come on get happy" Playing]

♪ hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

uh-huh, uh-huh. Mavis, i... i...

Look, I'm right in the middle of fixing dinner, mavis.

[♪♪♪]

Mom, where can I hide the basketball?

I don't want Keith to play with it.

Chris, please stop bouncing that thing.

I'm sorry, mavis.

This has been one of those days.

I need six hands.

Mavis, I'm sorry,

I'm gonna have to call you back.

Things are getting rather hectic now.

Yes. Yes, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

[♪♪♪]

Tracy, what are you doing?

I'm playing cinderella. I'm going to the prince's ball.

Not in my dress you're not.

Get upstairs and take that off and wash your face.

Gee, you're sure no fairy godmother.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, hi, mom. Have you seen the basketball anywhere?

Keith, you left the door open.

Oh, never mind. I found it.

Hi, mom. What's wrong?

There was a basket...

Nothing.

It's just that this family isn't playing

with a full deck, that's all.

Maybe us kids are a little weird,

but what I'd like to know,

is why you're putting sliced cucumbers in the gravy.

Because whole cucumbers would make the gravy lumpy.

Hi, Wendell.

Mom, your groceries are here.

Come on in, Wendell. Oh, I'd better not.

You're gonna leave the groceries on the doorstep?

I guess I can't do that.

How much do I owe you? Oh, the money.

It comes to 15 hundred and 32...

No, there's a decimal in there.

Fifteen dollars and 32 cents.

Wendell, is something wrong?

Nothing. I'm fine.

How are you, Mrs. Partridge?

Fine. Great. How are you, Danny?

Fine. How's Keith?

Fine. Chris and Tracy?

Fine. Fine.

Aren't you gonna ask about Laurie?

No. Can I have my money now?

Certainly. That's 25...

I'll take your word for it.

Oh, hi, Wendell.

You sure you're all right?

I'm fine. I'm just a klutz.

I gotta go. Bye.

What was all that about?

I don't know.

But he gave me a quarter tip.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Well, if Wendell wants to take Laurie out,

why doesn't he ask her?

He's afraid. Why?

Let me tell you a little about Wendell.

Last week they put him in

for the last 15 seconds of the game.

The score was tied.

Wendell intercepted a pass and ran all the way for a touchdown.

So? He ran the wrong way.

The other team carried Wendell off the field

on their shoulders.

Oh, I was so embarrassed for him.

That's Wendell, all right.

The other day at the store,

he hit a parked car with a shopping cart.

The driver claimed whiplash.

He seems rather nice. Nervous, but nice.

Oh, he is nice.

All he needs is a little confidence,

but no one will give him a chance.

If he asked me,

I'd be happy to go out with him.

Why don't you let him know that? I just can't ask him.

I can.

I doubt if he'd wanna go out with you.

Danny, don't you dare. You'll embarrass me.

No, I won't.

When I see him at the store

I'll just drop a subtle hint.

Do you wanna go out with my sister or not?

No. Whatever gave you that idea?

You just gave me a bag full of five candy bars,

30 bubble gums and a licorice whip.

And the first thing you say is,

"how's Laurie?"

that gave me my first clue.

Well, you're wrong.

I don't wanna take her out, okay?

Okay. To be honest with you,

I don't know why you'd wanna take her out anyway.

She's really ugly. She's not ugly.

She is too. She has a overbite.

She does not. Oh, yeah?

When she bites on a carrot, she only crimps it.

How can you say something like that about her?

Because it's true,

and I don't wanna go out with her.

Oh. If you saw it,

I guess it must be written all over my face.

At first I thought it was blemishes.

I can't get away from it.

I'm a klutz.

I can't ask Laurie out.

Why not?

I've never been out with a girl.

You're kidding.

[♪♪♪]

Wendell: Danny, I've changed my mind.

I feel silly.

Let's just forget it. Listen, Wendell,

if you wanna learn about a subject,

you go to an authority.

As far as girls go, Keith is full of authority.

I'm what?

Wendell would like to take out Laurie,

but he's never been out with a girl before.

You'd be glad to give some advice,

wouldn't you?

Uh, sure. What do you wanna know, Wendell?

Well, you'd better start with the basics.

Danny: You can always tell a girl.

They're lumpier than guys. And they giggle a lot.

You mean they giggle around all guys?

I always thought they was laughing at me.

Well, you were wrong.

Look, the first thing you have to do

is you have to find a place to park.

Wait a minute. I can't tell you that.

Laurie's my sister.

I'd better take notes.

I'll run home and get some paper.

Wendell, you don't need notes.

When you've got your arm around a girl,

you can't refer to notes.

See, that's it.

How do you work up enough nerve

to put your arm around a girl?

Simple. You just be bold and straightforward.

I always yawn and stretch,

then I kind of casually drop my arm around her

like it was an accident.

But what if I'm not sleepy?

Fake it, Wendell. Fake it.

It's no use.

I can't imagine a girl going out with me.

Why would she want to?

No, wait a minute, Wendell. Wait a minute.

All you need is a little confidence.

Now, I want you to repeat this after me.

Hi. What are you doing next Friday night?

Hi. What are you doing next Friday night?

That's great. Great. Try it again.

Sure. Hi. What are you doing next Friday night?

That was great, wasn't that, Danny?

Danny: Out of sight. One more time.

Wendell: Hi. What are you doing next Friday night?

Where are we going? Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. We're going in the house.

Who's in the house? Is Laurie in the house?

Danny: It'll be over in a minute, Wendell.

I need time to practice. A couple of months.

Leave me alone.

I gotta go home. I gotta mow the lawn.

What's going on?

I'm doing this for your own good.

Danny: Please, Wendell.

What are you doing?

What...? Nothing.

And I'd love to go out with you.

[♪♪♪]

You're kidding.

How about that? I did it.

All by myself.

And this is the place I rented in Newport beach.

It's one of those swinging singles apartments.

I've heard those places can be pretty wild.

Oh, I learned the real meaning of wild.

A girl came down to the pool wearing a bathing suit.

I thought it was a scar.

Now, this one...

What was that? Nothing.

Reuben.

Oh... a girl who wanted to get into show business.

That was her film test.

Keith: Laurie. Laurie.

Oh, hi, Reuben. How are you doing? Fine.

How was your trip?

If I die tomorrow, I die a happy man.

What do you want? You should've seen Wendell

at football practice today. He's a changed man.

If you could've seen his face

when he told the guys he was taking you out Friday.

Laurie: Really? The guys didn't believe it.

But then Wendell went out and caught a pass,

and they knew something was wrong.

I tell you, if he can keep it up,

he may make second string.

It's amazing what a little confidence will do.

Does this Wendell own an airplane?

No. What kind of question is that?

Well, if he's taking you out Friday

he's gonna have to pick you up in Phoenix, Arizona.

[♪♪♪]

But our concert in Phoenix is on the 28th.

Right. And that's Friday. Oh, no.

[♪♪♪]

Hi, Laurie.

I heard you were looking for me.

Oh, hi, Wendell. Yes, I was.

Hey, is something wrong?

I mean, I'm the one who usually stares at the ground.

Well, there's nothing wrong with staring at the ground.

You find a lot of money that way.

Wendell, it's about Friday night.

What about Friday night?

We have a concert in Phoenix Friday.

Oh.

I'm really sorry,

and it's all my fault.

But I didn't realize that the 28th

and Friday was actually Friday the 28th.

And I feel terrible.

I understand. Do you really?

Sure. I make girls forget about whole cities all the time.

You got a job to do.

Phoenix is certainly more important than me anytime.

I don't even know why you said you'd go out in the first place.

I'll see you, huh?

Wendell, we can make it some other time, can't we?

Yeah, sometime.

[♪♪♪]

[Singing "I'm on my way back home"]

♪ got on a silver plane and flew away ♪

♪ chased all my rainbows to the end ♪

♪ I wish I knew then what I know today ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home again ♪

♪ love ♪

♪ that's what's waitin' for me ♪

♪ that's where I've got to be ♪

♪ just to look in your eyes ♪

♪ feel your lips touchin' mine ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

♪ my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home to you ♪

♪ I remember when ♪

♪ you told me I'd return ♪

♪ you knew even then ♪

♪ something I had to learn ♪

♪ it's so far and yet ♪

♪ it's right there where you live ♪

♪ it's something that you get ♪

♪ only when you give and it's ♪

♪ love ♪

♪ that's what's waitin' for me ♪

♪ that's where I've got to be ♪

♪ just to look in your eyes ♪

♪ feel your lips touchin' mine ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

♪ my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home to you ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home ♪

♪ gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home ♪

♪ on my way ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home gonna fly ♪

♪ I'm on my way ♪

♪ my way back home ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home to you ♪

♪ I'm on my way back home ♪

♪ on my way ♪

this was a new pair of socks.

I don't know how you wear them out so fast.

It's not me, mom. It's the shoes.

And I've been meaning to talk to you

about the economic feasibility of going barefoot.

You keep your shoes on.

It's the only way the neighbors can tell you're civilized.

Hi, mom. Hi.

By your expression,

I take it that Wendell is still avoiding you.

I saw him at lunch today.

But when he saw me,

he ducked in the first door to hide.

I was so embarrassed. Oh?

It was the girls' bathroom.

[Chuckling]

Poor Wendell.

If only he'd understand that I wanna go out with him.

Well, it would help him gain some confidence in himself.

Exactly. He's so shy and awkward and...

And most people just laugh at him.

Well, you have to admit, he is fun to watch.

You're okay.

And you're rotten.

Mom.

Maybe you could help me. You could talk to him.

You could call the grocery store and order...

I already did. You did?

Honey, I didn't mean to butt in,

but when I saw you were feeling so bad

I decided I'd better speak to Wendell myself.

What happened?

Well, he stuck a bag of groceries in my arm,

gave me another quarter tip and ran.

Well,

the only hope left is Keith.

He sees Wendell more than I do. So I asked him to...

[door closes]

Keith, did you see him?

Yeah, I saw him.

But he wouldn't talk with me.

Not only that, but guess who tackled his own quarterback?

Oh, no.

[♪♪♪]

Where are you going?

I'm tired of going through channels.

I'm a liberated woman.

Wendell and I are going to have a peaceful talk

if I have to break his arm to do it.

[♪♪♪]

I got it, Mr. Busby.

Mrs. Humus lives on long pine road, not long tree road.

I'll get it right this time.

This time, see if you can get there

before the eggs hatch.

If they do, chicken costs 39 cents a pound.

Oh, believe me, if the chickens hatch,

I'll charge her for them.

[♪♪♪]

They won't hatch. I'll make it.

[♪♪♪]

Wendell, we have to talk. I gotta go.

Oh, come on. It'll only take a minute.

I've got to talk to you.

[♪♪♪]

Now, see what you made me do.

Boy, I'm lucky it was the cans instead of the eggs.

Good thing I put the eggs on the bottom.

Wendell, you don't put eggs on the...

Oh, never mind.

Look, I know the football team

is having a party Saturday night, right?

I heard someone mention it, but I wasn't supposed to, but...

Do you have a date? I'm working that night.

Wendell, the store closes at 6 and the party's at 8.

Will you take me? You wouldn't wanna go.

Bunch of strong talk about locker rooms

and dirty towels and stuff.

Wendell, I want to go, but only if you'll take me.

Really? With me?

No, you're just saying that because you feel sorry for me.

Wendell, I want to go out with you.

You really wanna go out with me?

No kidding. I really wanna go...

Wendell, something's leaking from your bag.

Strange. It... It smells like uncooked eggs.

[Dance music plays]

Hey, it's "Wrong way" Wendell.

Out with Laurie partridge?

Maybe we've underestimated Wendell.

Have that fixed immediately.

Hi, Laurie. Wendell. Glad you could make it.

Gee, Wendell, you really look sharp.

Thank you.

Yes, you certainly do look nice.

Oh, it's nothing. Just a rag.

Thank you.

Would you like to dance? Dance?

Oh, i... I'm sorry. I forgot, you can't dance.

Sure I can dance.

I happen to be a magnificent dancer.

You seem awfully solemn.

Well, maybe Sunday morning is a good time to reflect.

Especially when it's after Saturday night.

Didn't your date go well last night?

It went too well, mom.

For a few hours, Wendell was bigger than king Kong.

I bet it was the biggest night in his whole life.

Being his first date and all.

You mean he's more serious than you.

That's the impression I got.

I think he's gonna ask me to go steady.

I see.

How do you go about hurting someone

you don't wanna hurt at all, right?

What do I do?

[Phone ringing]

Hello?

Oh, Wendell.

Now? I don't know if I can.

Well, if it's something you have to say.

I'll be right there. Bye.

[♪♪♪]

Mom, this is it. I can tell by his voice.

Well, I hope he didn't ask you to elope.

Close. He asked me to meet him at the taco stand.

[♪♪♪]

And I wanna thank you

for the greatest night of my life, last night.

Well, I really enjoyed myself too.

Well, the reason I got you here is I've got to find out

if you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.

I don't know, Wendell. How do you feel?

Well, I admit I took your breaking our first date wrong.

But I know you like me.

Keith and even your mother told me so.

And then you insisted on that I take you out.

So you must like me.

Well, I do, i... I really like you.

And I really like you.

And that's why I had to have this talk.

Now, I know we're both young... Very young.

Exactly.

And that's why I don't think we should get too serious.

Well, I don't think that... what?

I know you may find this hard to understand, Laurie, but...

Hi, Wendell. Laurie.

Hi.

Hi. You girls are here early.

Well, we didn't think we'd be interrupting anything.

You sure do get around.

I'll be with y'all in just a minute.

Sure. When you get over our way,

maybe we could interest you in a taco.

[♪♪♪]

Laurie, you're not mad at me, are you?

No. No, but...

But the way you acted last night, I thought that...

I know. Last night I almost asked you to go steady,

but there is something you should know

about the male mystique. I... I guess so.

I didn't know males had mystique.

It's like this.

I've always dreamed about taking out a nice girl.

Thank you.

But also somewhere in the back of my mind

I've dreamed about taking out you...

You know what you call rotten girls?

Well, I've taken out a nice girl,

so it seems only fair I give the rotten girls their shot.

I guess I'm a despicable human being.

Oh well, as human beings go, yes.

As males go, you're normal.

I really like you, Laurie.

[♪♪♪]

That will be 54 cents.

[♪♪♪]

Missed. I know I missed.

The table's not level.

Well, just... just see if you can do any better.

Would you look at that.

No way he's gonna make the four ball like that.

That's not my shot.

I'm gonna hit the four ball into the nine ball,

which will hit the 12 ball into the side pocket.

Oh, sure. Minnesota short's gonna pull a triple combination.

[♪♪♪]

Twelve ball in the side pocket.

Well, but he didn't say which side pocket.

Danny won. He beat you six games out of six.

Reuben: I can count.

Beat me next game, I'm gonna break your thumbs.

Laurie.

How old is Wendell?

Sixteen or 17. Why?

Well, he just delivered some groceries.

You know, ever since you went out with him, he's changed.

He's loaded with confidence now. Oh?

He just asked me to go out with him Friday night.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]