Original subtitles

[The partridge family's "Come on get happy" Playing]

♪ hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

"and even though my brother Danny is only 11,

"he's a trouper.

"that is, if someone

"who has to be in bed by 9:30

"can be considered a trouper."

oh, great interview, Keith.

You just shattered my freewheeling image.

What are my legions of fans going to think?

Chris: What about me?

He said I sleep with a Teddy bear.

Well, you do.

It's not a Teddy bear. It's a grizzly.

"my sister Laurie is like most teenage girls.

"she's crazy about boys." Profound.

"her latest crush is on a classmate, Harry Murphy."

what? You didn't.

He did.

Oh, Keith, how humiliating.

Keith, I do think Laurie's personal life

is her own business.

A girl likes to keep some things secret.

I thought I was doing you a favor.

If a guy knows where he stands, it speeds things up.

Stabbed in the back with cupid's arrow.

I don't even know a Harry Murphy.

You don't? But I thought...

I used to have a crush on Barry Murphy,

but he moved away a year ago.

You don't show enough interest to know who I like.

Not that it's any of your business.

Look, Laurie, what did I do so wrong?

All those magazines wanna know about everybody's love life.

Well, I don't want my love life put out in fan magazines.

I don't blame her. The big money's in books.

Look, kids, Keith is totally wrong in this,

but I think you're all taking it too seriously.

Well, the least he can do is apologize.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It's too late for that.

[Doorbell ringing]

Kids, see who's at the door.

Creepo.

[♪♪♪]

I'm Harry Murphy.

Where's the chick that's crazy about me?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Shirley: Kids, who is it?

What's the matter?

Hey, qué pasa?

Hey, you must be Laurie partridge.

I... I must.

Yeah, I'm Harry Murphy.

Mommy, why is he wearing an earring?

It's sentimental, kid. It used to belong to my father.

Why don't you kids go and see what you'd like for lunch.

But we just ate lunch.

Go and see what you'd like for dinner.

You too.

Okay.

If you want me, I'll be in the kitchen,

sharpening my Pearl-handled butcher knife.

Hey, you got one of those too?

I'm Shirley partridge. Oh, hey, how are you?

That's my son, Keith. Hey.

Laurie.

I understand you got a crush on me.

Well, it's not that I...

Actually, you see, I'm the one...

You got a crush on me too?

Hey, they both do.

I think I can explain.

You see, Keith gave an interview to heavy magazine.

Oh, yeah, that's a good magazine. I subscribe.

Well, it seems that they misquoted him.

What he meant to say was

that Laurie had a crush on Barry Murphy,

but she really doesn't have a crush on him anymore.

Would you mind scraping that mud off outside?

Oh, I didn't wanna dirty your lawn. Here.

You know, I knew you didn't really have a crush on me.

It's just my gang dared me to come down here,

have a little fun.

Pretty funny, right?

Yeah, everybody likes a good put-on.

Yeah, well, thanks for the good put-on, Harry.

Oh, hey, hey, don't call me Harry.

What should we call you? Snake.

Hey, by the way,

to prove I was here and everything,

you know, to my gang,

wanna give me an autograph?

Oh, sure, sure. Do you have some paper?

Oh, no, we don't need that.

Just sign over the tattoo where it says "Hot."

gee, what a shame, your pen is out of ink.

Oh, that's all right. You can scratch it in.

Shirley?

Shirley, some idiot ran over your flamingo

with his motorcycle.

He's parked on your front lawn.

And I just wanna tell him

it's one of the best-looking motorcycles I've ever seen.

Oh, hi. Snake: Hey.

That's not your bike, is it? Oh, it's a... she's a beaut.

Reuben Kincaid, Harry Murphy.

Harry. Hey, call me snake.

What else?

Well...

Snake, it was very nice of you

to drop by and meet our family.

Oh, hey, hey, I'm very considerate that way.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry I creamed your bird.

Well, see you around.

[♪♪♪]

[Bell ringing]

Don't you think Todd Marshall's the grooviest guy in class?

Well, he's a nice guy.

And so intelligent.

That speech he gave on the states was so stimulating.

Yeah, I never knew there were so many ways

to abbreviate Pennsylvania.

And when he told about...

[motorcycle revving]

You want a lift?

You want a lift or something?

Uh, gee, snake, I can't.

I have to go to the library to do a book report.

Well, I'll drive you there.

Well, it's upstairs.

So what? Hop on.

No, but thanks anyway.

Maybe some other time. All right. See you around.

[♪♪♪]

I wonder if he had a hall pass.

[♪♪♪]

Of course, no one knows for sure,

but the popular theory is that the pyramids were built

by pushing each stone block up a series of inclined planes

built alongside the structure.

[Thudding]

[♪♪♪]

It's for you.

[♪♪♪]

[Singing "Listen to the sound"]

♪ listen to the sound of children playing ♪

♪ listen to the sound of old folks praying ♪

♪ listen to the sound of music all over the world ♪

♪ now, can't you hear them singing? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ can't you hear them singing? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ sing a little louder ♪

♪ la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ listen to the sound of motors roaring ♪

♪ listen to the sound of rain drops pouring ♪

♪ listen to the sound of music all over the world ♪

♪ can't you hear them singing? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ can't you hear them singing? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ sing a little louder ♪

♪ la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ listen to the sound of lovers sighing ♪

♪ listen to the sound of babies crying ♪

♪ listen to the sound of music all over the world ♪

♪ can't you hear them singing? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ can't you hear them singing? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ sing a little louder ♪

♪ la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ all over the world ♪

♪ now, can't you hear them singing, baby? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ can't you hear them singing? ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ sing a little louder ♪

♪ la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ la, la, la, la la, la, la, la ♪

♪ la, la, la, la... ♪

Laurie.

Nobody said, "One more time." Oh, I'm sorry.

I just can't keep my mind on what I'm doing.

Laurie, what's wrong?

It's snake.

The guy from the motorcycle gang?

Who else do you know named snake?

He's been coming around school and asking me out.

Is that an understatement.

Around school they're beginning to call her cycle queen.

Hey, Laurie, come on, show us your hobnail boots.

Sure, laugh it up.

You're the one that got me into this mess.

Well, if he's bothering you,

perhaps I should notify the school authorities.

Oh, they know.

What are they going to do about it?

Well, they were gonna notify you.

Why don't you ask him to be nice and go away?

Not to this guy, kid.

He gives the tooth fairy a lot of business.

No, I think Tracy's right.

I guess the only way out of this is to talk with him.

Laurie, I don't think I want you to do that.

I'm just gonna talk to him.

If you were me, isn't that what you'd do?

Well...

Maybe if Keith went with you. Me?

Mom, if I get into any trouble, I can always run for help.

I don't need Keith to do it for me.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, I think it's wonderful

the way this whole family pitches in to help.

You know, mom, if you weren't always busy cleaning the house,

you wouldn't be so tired.

[Motorcycle revving]

What was that? Either a motorcycle

or our lawn mower's gone berserk.

Hi. Laurie.

Did you see snake today? Uh-huh.

Well, what'd he say?

Well, we had a long talk and I'm really glad.

It worked out for the best.

Did he take it all right? He took it great.

I have a date with him tomorrow night.

[♪♪♪]

You've got a date with him? What happened?

Yesterday you wanted to get rid of him.

Well, it's very simple, mom.

We had a long talk

and I found out he was a very nice, sensitive guy.

Sensitive? How can a guy named snake be sensitive?

He is. He wrote me a poem.

You're kidding. No. You can read it.

I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face

seeing the blue skies and the whole human race

do they feel for me? Will they cause me grief?

If they scorn my emotions

should I punch them in the teeth?

Very sweet.

You fell for the oldest line in the world.

I bet he stole that.

Yeah, he probably mugged a poet.

You can't go out with a guy like that.

You don't even know him.

I said I was gonna go out with him

and I'm not going to break my word.

Laurie.

I'm afraid you're going to have to.

I don't want you to go out with him.

You too?

[♪♪♪]

I said he was nice.

I thought my own family would have believed me.

[♪♪♪]

Maybe we did come down on her pretty hard.

I think it's about time we had

a little mother-and-daughter talk.

[♪♪♪]

Why are you looking at me like that?

You got her into this mess.

You've gotta tell snake

that Laurie can't go out with him.

Me?

[Knocking]

Laurie.

Look, honey.

I know it's hard for you to understand right now,

but I wanna do what's best for you.

Are you mad at me?

No. Just disappointed.

Remember when I was 8

and Randy pildy asked me to his birthday party?

I got braces that week and the minute he saw me,

he broke the date.

I still remember his excuse.

He said he decided he wanted to put off turning 9.

I also remember that you were very hurt.

Don't you see you're doing the same thing to snake?

You're judging him by the way he looks.

Mom, isn't that a kind of prejudice?

I guess so.

It's hard to admit you're wrong.

[♪♪♪]

Keith: I don't know if this is such a good idea.

Do you wanna go down in partridge family history

as the guy that wouldn't save his sister

from a fate worse than death? No. What family history?

The one I'm gonna write if you don't go.

Okay, all right.

If I'm gonna do this,

we might as well get it over with.

What we? I can't go.

Who'd write the family history?

[♪♪♪]

[Man chuckling]

Excuse me.

I think we have a visit from prince charming.

You got a glass slipper on you?

No.

Snake, I'm looking for snake. I'm a friend of his.

What are you gonna do, redecorate his pad?

Maybe I'll just come back later. Freeze!

You're all covered.

Ooh... ooh...

You know, Glen,

this is the first time I've been threatened by a soprano.

Keith: Danny, get out of here.

Watch it, Keith, he's got you covered

with his snub-nosed finger.

Maybe I should kick it out of his hand, huh?

Danny: Hey.

Hey, cool it, will you? These guys are okay.

Thanks, snake. You came along just in time.

Oh, these guys, they're just having some fun.

Maybe, but it'll go down in the partridge family history

that we owe you one.

Forget it. You guys want a beer?

No, thanks. I do.

But I never drink until after 5.

[♪♪♪]

Where have you kids been?

We had some man business to take care of, mom.

We went to have it out with snake

to tell him Laurie couldn't go out with him.

Oh, you just took it on yourselves to do that.

Well, we didn't wanna worry you.

You should have asked me first.

I've already told Laurie she could go out with him.

You did? That's great. It is?

He's really a nice guy.

And besides, he's got a lot of respect for Laurie.

Yeah, I don't understand it.

Well, I guess I misjudged him.

Yeah, I guess we all did.

Well, she's going to the school dance with him tomorrow night.

Since we've all agreed he's such a nice guy

there's nothing to worry about.

Right.

[♪♪♪]

If I say it enough, maybe I'll believe it.

[Music playing]

You know, in a way I'm kind of sorry

that I asked you to bring me here.

You don't look as if you're having fun.

Me? I'm having a ball.

This is just not the type of social function

I'm used to attending.

Everybody's able to stand up.

Hey, look, you mind if I take this coat off?

It's strangling my armpits.

No, no, no, go right ahead.

It's, you know, more comfortable.

You know, we can go if you want.

Oh, no, no. I wanna show you a good time.

Thanks.

You wanna dance?

That'd be great.

Yeah, I was afraid you'd say that.

See, the only step I know how to do is the box step.

My old man taught it to me by throwing a knife at my feet.

I love the box step.

You know something?

You got a lot of class for a girl

who don't wear white lipstick.

[Boy laughing]

Hey, isn't the guy supposed to lead?

I'm... I'm sorry.

Laurie, I see those guys laughing at us.

They probably told a joke. Laurie, I know what's happening.

Don't worry about it. I don't want no trouble.

Cutting in. No, you're not.

Oh, come on.

This could be the last chance to do the box step.

It's been extinct for years, you know?

I'm sorry, but I'm dancing with my date.

Is this your date,

with the long hair and the gold earring?

I thought he was your sister.

Snake, I would like some punch, please?

Okay, I'll be cool.

Hey, listen, guy, no hard feelings.

As a matter of fact, come to the next dance,

we'll throw a fox-trot contest in your honor.

Why don't you take a long walk on a short pier.

Hey, hear that? Very original.

Now, who said bikers weren't intellectuals?

You mind holding this, please?

Snake? Snake?

I'm just gonna propose a little toast.

[Glass crashing]

Good fight, huh? How can a fight be good?

I won.

Thanks for letting me use your helmet.

Oh, it's not mine. I borrowed it from my mom.

Hey, listen, you're not mad at me, are you, because I hit you?

I never decked a chick before.

No, it was my fault for trying to break it up.

And I'm not mad about the fight either.

They goaded you into it.

You know something? You take a pretty good punch.

I mean, I gave you my best shot, you got right back up.

Thanks.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, listen,

the rogues are giving a party Saturday night.

Do you wanna ride with me?

I don't think so.

I like you an awful lot, snake, but we're not...

Well, you and I aren't...

Well, you know, there are some things that are just...

I'm not making any sense.

Yeah, you are.

I just wanted to give it a shot. I figured it wouldn't work out.

You did? Yeah.

Somehow I just can't picture you taking over a town.

You mad at me? How could I be mad at you?

Keep in touch? Sure.

Keith, you shouldn't spy on them.

I'm not spying on them.

The bush is in the way.

We'll have to trim that bush.

Here she comes.

[Motorcycle passing]

Oh, hi. Hi.

I didn't hear you come up. How'd it go?

Fine. Good.

You're not waiting up for me, are you?

Oh, no, no.

I've been all involved in this book.

Oh, and I've been working on this song.

Funny how time flies when you're working.

Yeah. Looks like the only guardian missing is Danny.

Oh, I sent him to bed hours ago.

Danny: By some coincidence, I still happen to be awake!

Go to sleep. The coincidence is home.

[♪♪♪]

Mom,

I told snake tonight that I couldn't see him anymore.

How'd he take it?

He gave me something to remember him by:

His gold earring.

Danny: Is it real gold?

[♪♪♪]

[Doorbell ringing]

Hi, Reuben. Hi, shirl.

Hi, Mr. Kincaid.

Hi, gang. Did you get a new dog? No.

Oh, I saw paper scattered all over the place.

What is that? I don't know.

I found it on the doorstep.

I figured it was your laundry or an abandoned baby.

A flamingo?

There's a note here addressed to Laurie.

For me?

It's from snake. Listen to this:

I remember a partridge that is long since gone

I remember a flamingo that sat upon her lawn

I bought this from a lady selling small forgets-me-not

but I wouldn't put it in your yard

because I think the bird is hot

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]