Original subtitles

[The partridge family's "come on get happy" playing]

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we had a dream we'd go traveling together ♪

♪ we'd spread a little love ♪

♪ and then we'll keep movin' on ♪

♪ something always happens whenever we're together ♪

♪ we get a happy feeling when we're singing a song ♪

♪ traveling along there's a song that we're singing ♪

♪ come on, get happy ♪

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringing ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

♪ we'll make you happy ♪

[♪♪♪]

Well, this is just a stab in the dark,

but are you guys tired or something?

How about you ask Tracy.

Mm. A nice kid, but she's no trouper.

Reuben, that was one of the toughest tours

you ever booked us on.

Okay, but now it's over.

You can lay around, relax, take it easy. Till Saturday.

[♪♪♪]

You didn't book us Saturday.

Well, just a little bit.

How can you book us just a little bit?

Well, you might say it's just a little bit

of a favor for Stillman Kelly.

Keith: Who's Stillman Kelly?

Who...?

Only the owner of the number-one local radio station.

And we owe him one very big favor,

in case you forgot.

I never heard of him.

Who do you think got me my fm stereo for half-price?

That's a "you" favor, not a "we" favor.

Reuben, we're tired.

Okay.

What was I supposed to say?

"No, the partridge family will not do a benefit

for the point loomis air force base."

[♪♪♪]

It's for an air force base?

It's like you'll be doing your share

to make the world safe from communism.

There's nothing to it.

All you have to do is learn two or three new songs.

Hold it. What two or three new songs?

The ones dora's gonna sing.

Who's dora?

Oh, you don't know dora?

Well, dora is Stillman Kelly's daughter.

She is also the key part of the favor.

Reuben, I get the feeling

that a stranger is gonna be singing with us.

Oh, would I do that? She sings alone.

All you have to do is, well, back her up a little.

Can this girl sing?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Look, it won't hurt to listen to the girl.

If you like her, fine.

If you don't, well, I'll make up some excuse.

But if she sings half as good as she looks,

she'll be sensational.

Yeah, forget her looks,

I wanna hear what she sounds like.

[Piano playing]

[Singing "I left my heart in San Francisco" off-key]

♪ I left my heart in San Francisco ♪

♪ high on a hill it calls to me ♪

♪ to be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars ♪

♪ the morning fog may chill the air ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ my love waits there in San Francisco ♪

♪ above the blue and windy sea ♪

♪ when I come home to you San Francisco ♪

♪ your golden sun will shine for me ♪

[♪♪♪]

Great. Out of sight. One more time.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I can't understand it.

Any 5-year-old could tell dora can't sing a note.

Can't he hear?

It's not his ears, it's his eyes.

When Keith looks at dora, well, he can't hear too well.

Oh, that makes sense.

Have you heard about the birds and the bees?

I've heard about the tortoise and the hare.

It's very simple, sweetheart. Love is blind.

When a young man like Keith looks at a young girl like dora,

any imperfections she may have are overlooked.

[Keith singing "I left my heart in San Francisco"]

♪ I left my heart in San Francisco ♪

♪ high on a hill it calls... ♪

[Knocking on door]

Shirley: Keith?

Come in.

What are you doing?

Oh, studying.

Gotta keep the old nose to the grindstone.

First time I've ever seen an 8-by-10 glossy grindstone.

Oh, that.

Dora gave me this this afternoon after her audition.

Isn't she something else?

She's so beautiful.

Her mind, that is.

Her mind.

Yeah.

That's why I keep her picture in my algebra book.

Well, I'm glad she's bright,

but what I really wanted to talk about was dora's talent.

I don't know where she got a voice like that.

Neither do I.

Possibly some childhood disease.

What?

Keith, her voice isn't very good.

Come on, what are you talking about?

I heard it with my own ears.

Mmm.

How do i...? How do I say this?

Um...

When a...

When a young man sees a beautiful girl,

well, things happen. His, um...

His heart beats faster,

and, well, the... all the... The blood rushes to his heart.

And that means

that all of the blood leaves his ears and they...

They don't work very well.

It's a... it's a variation

of cold hands and warm heart.

Mom, did you just tell me the facts of life?

You did.

You're blushing. All right, that's enough.

Just promise me one thing:

When we rehearse with her tomorrow,

I want you to promise me that you're going to listen.

I mean really listen.

I promise.

Cold hands and warm heart, huh, mom?

You are too much.

[Singing "I left my heart in San Francisco" off-key]

♪ When I come home to you San Francisco ♪

♪ your golden sun will shine for me ♪

How was that?

Keith: Hi, everybody.

I'm sorry I'm late...

Hi, dora. Hi, Keith.

Oh, please don't set up for my sake.

I have to leave.

I promised my dad I'd be home by 5.

Oh, I'm sorry I blew it.

May I have a few words with you?

Where have you been? You said you'd be here.

I know. I couldn't help it, mom.

Gordy was driving me home from school and he got a ticket.

You know that sneaky stop sign on oak street?

The one that is way off the road and hidden by the tree?

Gordy ran it?

He hit it. He's a rotten driver.

We wanted you here so we could make our decision.

I know. Look, we'll talk about it later, okay?

[Clears throat]

I really have to go.

I really appreciate all of you helping me like this.

I don't know how to thank you.

Oh, it's been a pleasure.

Well, now that you've waited through an hour of my singing...

Well, you're all professionals and I respect your opinion.

I'd like to know what you honestly think of my voice.

Ah, first of all,

I'd like to say I think it's great. Mom?

Oh. Oh, your... Your voice is truly

encouraging to all young singers.

Yes, um, you have to hear it to believe it.

Do you want me to be perfectly honest?

The only thing I like better than your voice

is hot boiled milk at bedtime.

Oh, thanks.

You're all very nice people.

I owe you so much for spending this much time with me.

Well, thanks again.

Wait a minute. I'll walk you home.

May I be perfectly honest now?

[♪♪♪]

He's back.

Come right this way, brother.

What is this?

Just something we want you to hear.

Reuben brought us this audition tape.

Some girl who wants to get into show business.

Oh, not another favor.

What did he get this time, a free color TV?

We want you to hear it.

[Dora singing "I left my heart in San Francisco" on tape]

♪ I left my heart in San Francisco ♪

♪ high on a hill it calls... ♪

Mom, that's terrible.

Keith, that's dora.

Dora who?

Dora.

[♪♪♪]

Dora?

Dora.

[♪♪♪]

Are you sure we're talking about the same dora?

That's been established beyond any reasonable doubt.

Honey, I tried to tell you.

I can't understand it.

She was singing in the wrong key.

Several wrong keys.

How could I go so far wrong?

It's simple. When you see her,

your heart pounds and all the blood rushes from your eardrums

so you can't hear right.

Where did you hear that?

In school, in my sex-education class.

You know, maybe there's some truth to that old saying

that love is blind.

If nothing else, it has a tin ear.

Look, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to get us into all this.

Good. Feel free to get us out of it.

Keith, if dora sings at that benefit,

she could end up being very hurt.

Well, I don't think I can tell her.

I mean, I take one look at her and...

Well, you've seen me.

Yeah, it's disgusting.

It won't be easy.

The best thing to do is just look her square in the eye

and tell her the simple truth.

Keith, why are you talking to the wall?

[Sighs]

I didn't want it to be like this,

but I guess I'm just gonna have to do it, face-to-face.

Yes?

Um...

[♪♪♪]

Danny: Well?

Keith, you're no cat burglar.

Did you tell her? Tell who what?

What's all this noise?

What are you kids doing up?

We just wanted to know if Keith told her.

Tell who what?

Keith, you did tell her.

Okay, everybody, you all heard mom.

Let's go, off to bed.

Here... here we go, bedtime.

[Clears throat]

Mom, you better tell them.

They don't seem to wanna listen to me.

Keith, did you tell her?

You know, I'm very glad you brought that up.

We talked about a lot of things.

I'm afraid you're going to have to be

a little more specific than that.

Dora and I are going steady.

[♪♪♪]

Isn't anyone gonna congratulate me?

[♪♪♪]

[Footsteps approaching]

Hi.

Where you going?

Well, since my son, the tower of strength,

let us down last night,

I'm gonna see what I can do about it.

Like what? I'm gonna talk to her father.

I think it would be best for dora

if she heard it from him.

I don't envy you.

How do you tell a father that his daughter has no talent?

[♪♪♪]

[Intercom buzzes]

Yes? woman [on intercom]: Mr. Kelly,

Mrs. Partridge is here to see you.

Oh, she's here. Send her in.

[Humming]

Come in, Mrs. Partridge.

How do you do, Mr. Kelly?

I'm so glad to meet you. Sit down.

Sit down right here. Thank you.

Yeah. Now, I wanna thank you

for what you've been doing for my daughter.

That's why I'm here. Yeah.

You know, I've really been looking forward

to meeting you because we have a little bit in common.

You see, I used to be a member of a hit singing group too.

Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Sure.

Yeah. Now, I'm going back. I'm going way back.

I'm talking about 1955.

We were known as the golden flash.

Yeah, maybe you remember our big hit record:

"Stolen kisses, stolen hubcaps."

It doesn't ring a bell.

Oh, sure. Everyone remembers that.

It went like this:

[Singing off-key]

♪ Shoo-bop, shoo-bop diddly, diddly, diddly ♪

♪ shoo-bop, shoo-bop diddly, diddly, diddly ♪

Yeah. Well, me and three other guys,

we sang background.

I did the "shoo-bop," they did the "diddly."

Boy. Yeah, things were different then.

Oh?

Well, I mean, you know, the groups, they burn up fast.

We were a hit for about three days, and then nothing.

I was out of the business

before my gold lamé suit was paid for.

I'm sorry.

Oh, hey, don't be.

I'm not exactly a failure. I own this station here.

But I'm just glad that dora has a chance

at the kind of success I never had.

Mr. Kelly, um,

I'm glad you've been around the business a long time.

Right.

Maybe you'll understand when I say,

about the benefit tomorrow night?

Oh, yeah, boy.

I wonder if dora should appear.

I beg... I beg your pardon?

I don't think dora...

I don't think dora's had enough experience.

I mean, she'll be facing a large audience.

You know, dora has been training for this

ever since she was a little child.

It's been one pta meeting after another.

That's nice.

The fact is, um...

I don't think dora's had enough professional training.

Thank you for your concern, Mrs. Partridge,

but believe me,

dora has had the very best professional training.

You see, I've taught her everything that I know.

Yeah. Have you...? Have you heard this one?

[Singing "I left my heart in San Francisco" off-key]

♪ I left my heart... ♪

♪ Shoo-bop, shoo-bop ♪

♪ ... in San Francisco ♪

♪ high on a hill... ♪

Danny: Well, how'd it go?

Laurie: Did he take it all right?

You did tell him, didn't you?

Well, Mr. Kelly and I talked about a lot of things.

Don't tell me, you and Mr. Kelly are going steady.

Keith: How could you do it?

That's the problem, I didn't do it.

How could you not do it?

Well, there goes your mom-is-perfect theory.

I couldn't help it.

He really thinks his daughter's talented.

How could he think that?

She's more talented than he is.

Poor dora.

She's gonna go out there tomorrow...

I don't even wanna think about it.

Well, there's only one hope: We'll all play loud.

Drowning her out is the merciful thing to do.

Well, does anybody have a better idea?

Yeah, we could kidnap her.

Danny.

Well, it's better than Keith's idea.

You know, there is one way to solve this problem,

and that's to let the man who got us into this mess

get us out.

Now, wait a minute.

Why should I be the heavy?

Laurie: Because you're the one that got

the fm stereo for half-price.

Sure, you would throw that up to me.

Reuben, we have tried our best. I think it's your turn now.

Okay. Okay.

If everybody thinks it's my fault,

I'll fix it.

It's as good as taken care of.

[♪♪♪]

[Singing "I woke up in love this morning"]

♪ Last night I turned out the light ♪

♪ lay down and thought about you ♪

♪ I thought about the way that it could be ♪

♪ two o'clock wonderin' what ♪

♪ I'm doin' here alone without you ♪

♪ so I close my eyes and dream you here to me ♪

♪ and I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ went to sleep with you on my mind ♪

♪ now I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ went to sleep with you on my mind ♪

♪ do dreams come true? Well if they do ♪

♪ I'll have you ♪

♪ not just for a night but for my whole life through ♪

♪ and I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ went to sleep with you on my mind ♪

♪ now I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ I woke up in love this morning ♪

♪ went to sleep with you on my mind ♪

Psst. Psst.

Introduce dora.

What?

Introduce dora.

Reuben, you said you were gonna take care of this.

It's taken care of. Just introduce dora.

Believe me, I know what I'm doing.

Go on.

[Audience applauds]

Thank you again.

And now, I would like to introduce to you

a very vocal young singer who is with us tonight.

I hope you'll give a nice warm welcome to miss dora Kelly.

You're kidding.

[Crowd applauding]

[Men cheering and whistling]

[Inaudible dialogue]

[Singing "I left my heart in San Francisco"]

♪ I left my heart in San Francisco ♪

[Inaudible] Will you look at what's happening. Look.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I never realized air force newspapers gave reviews.

"Dora Kelly, new bombshell, overkills at point loomis."

I can't get over the way she was received.

Standing ovation.

That's pretty good, considering no one heard her.

It says here that the applause showed up

as a blip on their radar screen.

Well, I'm glad they liked her,

but in a way I'm kind of sorry.

I'm afraid she's going to be fooled

into thinking she has talent.

Well, it doesn't matter.

She never wanted to be in show business anyway.

She only did it for her father.

Now she can study to be what she wanted to be.

What's that? Chiropractor.

Hey, mom, have I ever told you

about my trick back?

Your...?

I keep getting these terrible, shooting pains.

Especially in the morning.

It starts at the base of the spine...

Danny: They start right here...

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]