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1
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New message.
2
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Are you there? Are you up?
3
00:01:18,592 --> 00:01:20,833
Oh, my God! It's too early there
for me to be calling.
4
00:01:20,917 --> 00:01:24,637
7:52, 6:52, 5:52... I forgot.
Three hours earlier.
5
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,666
-Forget I called!
-Message deleted.
6
00:01:32,155 --> 00:01:34,031
-New message.
-Honey, it's Mommy.
7
00:01:34,323 --> 00:01:36,992
I know I only get you for the weekend
before you hit the road,
8
00:01:37,076 --> 00:01:38,756
but I thought I'd pick you up
a few things.
9
00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:41,205
Do you like Greek yogurt? It's the rage.
10
00:01:41,497 --> 00:01:42,832
Message deleted.
11
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:45,542
I'm so proud of you, honey.
12
00:01:45,626 --> 00:01:50,036
I can't believe you're gonna do a tour
of all these companies and your product.
13
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,883
I mean, I... My little Donald Trump.
14
00:01:52,967 --> 00:01:56,679
-I'm so excited to see your sweet face!
-Message deleted.
15
00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,106
Hi, Andy, it's Mommy. Last call.
16
00:02:07,356 --> 00:02:10,571
I just wanted you to know that
I'm going to park and come inside tomorrow
17
00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:13,783
because parking curbside
at Newark is a zoo!
18
00:02:13,988 --> 00:02:16,179
And I don't want to get a citation.
That's all.
19
00:02:16,263 --> 00:02:18,211
Oh, I may go to the Gap today,
20
00:02:18,295 --> 00:02:21,976
so let me know if you need slacks
or a scarf or anything, you know.
21
00:02:22,698 --> 00:02:26,000
I got you a pass for my gym,
if you want to do Pilates with me.
22
00:02:26,364 --> 00:02:28,961
I have this new instructor,
she's a lesbian.
23
00:02:29,128 --> 00:02:30,963
Message deleted.
24
00:02:33,792 --> 00:02:34,716
New message.
25
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,290
All these messages about tomorrow
26
00:02:36,374 --> 00:02:38,572
and I forgot to wish you good luck today!
27
00:02:38,656 --> 00:02:40,491
They're going to love you! I know it.
28
00:02:40,765 --> 00:02:42,194
Who could say no to you?
29
00:02:43,755 --> 00:02:44,949
Andrew Brewster?
30
00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:46,430
We're ready for you.
31
00:02:46,844 --> 00:02:47,803
Thank you.
32
00:02:53,069 --> 00:02:54,229
What do you have for us, son?
33
00:02:54,362 --> 00:02:57,239
What I have for you
is a groundbreaking product
34
00:02:57,323 --> 00:03:00,636
that Kmart has the opportunity
to have on its shelves
35
00:03:00,721 --> 00:03:04,074
before anyone else
has it on their shelves.
36
00:03:04,914 --> 00:03:07,416
First, some background information on me.
37
00:03:07,959 --> 00:03:11,462
I have a Master's Degree
in chemistry from UCLA.
38
00:03:11,671 --> 00:03:13,256
For the last three years,
39
00:03:13,340 --> 00:03:16,010
I worked at the
Environmental Protection Agency.
40
00:03:16,425 --> 00:03:19,470
And trust me, I didn't stay three years
because of the ladies.
41
00:03:23,109 --> 00:03:26,477
I stayed because I was fascinated
by the work I was doing there!
42
00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:29,915
Primarily that was
the sustainable technology
43
00:03:29,999 --> 00:03:31,562
sourced by renewable resources.
44
00:03:32,374 --> 00:03:33,693
I know what you're thinking...
45
00:03:34,085 --> 00:03:36,317
"Boring Chemistry Alert!" Right?
46
00:03:37,321 --> 00:03:38,281
Wrong!
47
00:03:39,092 --> 00:03:42,713
One day, I had a breakthrough.
48
00:03:42,798 --> 00:03:45,457
I created a micro-emulsion suspension
49
00:03:45,541 --> 00:03:49,336
that harnessed
the natural cleaning power of...
50
00:03:51,454 --> 00:03:52,712
...coconut oil,
51
00:03:54,459 --> 00:03:56,188
palm kernel oil,
52
00:03:56,753 --> 00:03:57,805
and...
53
00:03:58,801 --> 00:03:59,802
...soy!
54
00:04:02,305 --> 00:04:03,721
Not soy sauce,
55
00:04:03,805 --> 00:04:06,378
but soybean oil.
56
00:04:06,499 --> 00:04:09,680
And this comes together
to create what I like to call...
57
00:04:12,575 --> 00:04:14,781
Can you see that?
I thought the table would be smaller.
58
00:04:14,865 --> 00:04:15,807
Can you see it?
59
00:04:16,943 --> 00:04:20,597
Scieoclean! Scieo-clean!
60
00:04:20,681 --> 00:04:24,352
Science and clean in one word.
61
00:04:24,756 --> 00:04:28,388
Okay. Very thorough.
Thanks for coming in.
62
00:04:28,472 --> 00:04:30,224
And we'll be in touch, down the road.
63
00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:32,170
I have full FDA approval,
64
00:04:32,254 --> 00:04:33,693
and I have enough financial backing...
65
00:04:33,777 --> 00:04:37,368
Actually, we're already in talks
with major companies...
66
00:04:37,452 --> 00:04:39,787
Yeah. Whose products
are toxic and harmful.
67
00:04:39,871 --> 00:04:42,069
As well as established organic companies.
68
00:04:42,153 --> 00:04:43,438
But develop some brand recognition
69
00:04:43,522 --> 00:04:46,191
and maybe, in a year or two,
we'll revisit.
70
00:04:50,853 --> 00:04:52,020
New message.
71
00:04:52,104 --> 00:04:55,189
So, how did it go? I know, I know.
I'm driving you crazy,
72
00:04:55,273 --> 00:04:57,147
but I'm on pins and needles here, Andy!
73
00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,958
They loved you, I bet. Kmart!
74
00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:01,837
I can't believe it! My son at Kmart!
75
00:05:02,063 --> 00:05:03,398
Message deleted.
76
00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:07,155
Hi, this is Joyce, leave a message, bye!
77
00:05:08,204 --> 00:05:10,370
Hey, Ma, got your billion messages.
78
00:05:10,454 --> 00:05:13,220
Here are some answers to your
questions. Kmart went great,
79
00:05:13,305 --> 00:05:16,087
do not buy me slacks,
I do not want to do Pilates,
80
00:05:16,379 --> 00:05:18,464
and I'm excited to see you, too.
81
00:05:18,881 --> 00:05:20,716
Andy! Andy!
82
00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:24,345
Andy! Andy!
83
00:05:24,887 --> 00:05:26,806
Andy! I'm over here!
84
00:05:27,306 --> 00:05:28,641
-Honey!
-Hey, Ma.
85
00:05:28,777 --> 00:05:30,726
-I'm over here!
-I see you. Hey!
86
00:05:30,977 --> 00:05:32,811
-All of Newark sees you.
-Hi!
87
00:05:32,895 --> 00:05:34,295
-Hi, there. Hey, Ma.
-Oh, my baby.
88
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:36,048
Oh, my God!
89
00:05:36,565 --> 00:05:38,075
-Good to see you.
-Look at you! Look at you!
90
00:05:38,159 --> 00:05:39,647
-Yes. Look at me.
-Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
91
00:05:39,731 --> 00:05:41,527
Yeah. Okay.
Let's get out of the way here.
92
00:05:41,611 --> 00:05:42,858
Are you wearing a sports jacket?
93
00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:43,795
Yeah, I am.
94
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,439
How did you know even
to buy a sports jacket?
95
00:05:45,523 --> 00:05:47,441
-I took a class in it. Yeah.
-Look at this.
96
00:05:47,576 --> 00:05:50,496
Oh, my God! Honey, look!
You left the price tag on.
97
00:05:50,913 --> 00:05:53,911
J. Crew? My fancy-schmancy son!
98
00:05:53,996 --> 00:05:54,847
-Yeah, that's me.
-Wow.
99
00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,761
I'm just gonna keep it,
in case it goes on sale.
100
00:05:56,845 --> 00:05:58,131
Okay, great. Thanks.
101
00:05:59,088 --> 00:06:00,673
Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
102
00:06:00,923 --> 00:06:02,866
-Just you. Not hot at all.
-Just me?
103
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:04,230
-You're kidding.
-Nope. Yup.
104
00:06:04,315 --> 00:06:05,788
I made chicken for dinner.
105
00:06:05,872 --> 00:06:07,721
-Oh, awesome.
-And I invited some of the girls over...
106
00:06:07,805 --> 00:06:09,598
...because they really
can't wait to see you.
107
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,102
You know, I'd kinda rather you didn't.
108
00:06:14,186 --> 00:06:15,849
-I just got off a long flight.
-Really?
109
00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:17,494
I don't know if I want to, you know...
110
00:06:17,579 --> 00:06:19,745
-You're tired and everything?
-Yeah, I have jet lag a bit.
111
00:06:19,829 --> 00:06:21,693
The last thing you need is
to put on a show for my friends.
112
00:06:21,777 --> 00:06:22,695
-Right.
-Yeah. Exactly.
113
00:06:22,779 --> 00:06:23,647
Thank you, Ma.
114
00:06:23,769 --> 00:06:25,129
-Thank you for understanding.
-Yes.
115
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,444
I just made so much chicken is all.
116
00:06:30,317 --> 00:06:33,444
I can't believe little Andy, all grown up!
117
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,974
And wearing a sports jacket.
118
00:06:36,059 --> 00:06:37,979
It's from J. Crew. Show them the label.
119
00:06:39,128 --> 00:06:40,756
Yeah, it's pretty affordable.
120
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:43,005
Did you know that Andy
is starting his own business?
121
00:06:43,463 --> 00:06:44,418
Is that right?
122
00:06:45,341 --> 00:06:47,393
Yeah, he invented a new product
123
00:06:47,478 --> 00:06:49,918
and now he's going to go
travel door-to-door selling it.
124
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:50,909
Isn't that right, Andy?
125
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,663
No, that's actually not even close.
126
00:06:53,331 --> 00:06:54,757
You know, it's dangerous
to go door-to-door.
127
00:06:54,841 --> 00:06:55,872
I'm not going door-to-door.
128
00:06:55,956 --> 00:06:57,982
They stopped doing that decades ago.
129
00:06:58,066 --> 00:06:59,445
Did I hear wrong, honey?
130
00:06:59,529 --> 00:07:01,013
It's okay. It's complicated.
131
00:07:01,098 --> 00:07:02,448
-That's close enough, I guess.
-What do I know?
132
00:07:02,532 --> 00:07:04,738
-Andy, it's so nice to finally meet you.
-You, too. Yeah.
133
00:07:04,822 --> 00:07:06,470
I have heard only great things about you.
134
00:07:06,754 --> 00:07:08,899
-That's nice.
-Gayle is our new friend.
135
00:07:08,983 --> 00:07:12,079
She's our Weight Watchers leader.
Her husband's dead.
136
00:07:13,609 --> 00:07:15,268
I'm really sorry to hear that.
137
00:07:16,119 --> 00:07:17,003
I'm not.
138
00:07:18,142 --> 00:07:20,070
He couldn't drop dead soon enough.
139
00:07:20,259 --> 00:07:21,482
He was horrible!
140
00:07:22,212 --> 00:07:24,116
She couldn't wait
to get rid of him, honey.
141
00:07:24,201 --> 00:07:25,216
Andy, you have to help me.
142
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:27,364
Please convince her to come
to my singles event with me.
143
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:28,331
-One night.
-Yeah!
144
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:29,977
-Come on. Don't say that.
-You gotta do it!
145
00:07:30,061 --> 00:07:31,610
I don't want to go there.
146
00:07:33,005 --> 00:07:34,758
I am telling you, you will be
the belle of the ball.
147
00:07:34,842 --> 00:07:36,274
More like the belle of the "bald."
148
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:40,390
I don't need it. I'm very happy.
149
00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:44,784
Got more frogs since Thanksgiving, Ma?
150
00:07:44,868 --> 00:07:47,499
Yeah, you can't imagine
how many places sell frogs.
151
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,616
I hope you're drinking water, Andy.
152
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:51,552
Good. Good boy.
153
00:07:51,975 --> 00:07:55,777
Because I'm up to six bottles
a day now. You know?
154
00:07:56,204 --> 00:07:57,650
It's very good for your skin.
155
00:07:57,734 --> 00:07:58,946
Good. That's why I'm doing it.
156
00:07:59,030 --> 00:08:00,739
I'm so glad you do that, honey.
157
00:08:04,988 --> 00:08:06,169
What are you doing right now?
158
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,646
I'm refilling my water bottle.
159
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:13,015
'Cause it's silly to pay big prices for
a case of bottles, basically, you know,
160
00:08:13,099 --> 00:08:14,861
when you can use this
over and over again.
161
00:08:17,156 --> 00:08:20,744
So you're really gonna drive
cross-country for these meetings?
162
00:08:20,828 --> 00:08:22,371
Yeah. All the way to Vegas, yeah.
163
00:08:23,613 --> 00:08:24,814
You seeing anyone?
164
00:08:25,902 --> 00:08:27,129
No. Not at the moment.
165
00:08:27,213 --> 00:08:31,451
No? I thought you were seeing that girl
with the exotic name.
166
00:08:32,789 --> 00:08:34,263
-Bethany?
-Yes!
167
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,943
Bethany. What happened to her?
168
00:08:36,027 --> 00:08:38,771
Yeah, that just didn't really
work out. You know...
169
00:08:38,855 --> 00:08:41,232
So what about the one before her?
The Oriental.
170
00:08:41,316 --> 00:08:45,384
That is not remotely
an acceptable term anymore, and...
171
00:08:45,468 --> 00:08:47,599
I don't know, it just didn't work out.
172
00:08:48,516 --> 00:08:50,822
You'd think one of them
would have worked out by now?
173
00:08:51,121 --> 00:08:54,535
What about you?
Are you seeing anyone at the moment?
174
00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:56,724
Andy, please don't be disgusting.
175
00:08:57,210 --> 00:09:00,402
You want me to go to one of Gayle's
miserable singles events?
176
00:09:00,486 --> 00:09:02,678
That's what you want?
You want me whoring myself out?
177
00:09:02,762 --> 00:09:03,881
Put on a thong?
178
00:09:03,965 --> 00:09:05,103
I'm going to sleep now, Ma.
179
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,020
Yeah.
180
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:10,672
I took out the old home movies
and I thought we would watch it together.
181
00:09:11,082 --> 00:09:13,685
You know, I just... I'm not adjusted yet.
182
00:09:13,769 --> 00:09:14,979
I'm still jet lagged. I just...
183
00:09:15,063 --> 00:09:16,907
-I understand. Yeah.
-Good night.
184
00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:18,772
Good night, honey!
185
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,018
I bought some underwear for you
at the Gap.
186
00:09:21,112 --> 00:09:21,987
Okay.
187
00:09:22,072 --> 00:09:24,124
We can return it
tomorrow if it doesn't fit!
188
00:09:24,208 --> 00:09:25,103
That's pretty gross.
189
00:09:25,187 --> 00:09:26,767
-They know me there!
-Okay.
190
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,422
Can I turn this thing off?
191
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,257
We've been doing this for two hours.
192
00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:37,453
Just a few more minutes, okay?
193
00:09:38,927 --> 00:09:40,747
Look how cute he is.
194
00:09:47,023 --> 00:09:48,489
Look, Ma, I'm sorry...
195
00:09:50,606 --> 00:09:52,005
How long do you want me to film this?
196
00:09:52,089 --> 00:09:53,403
You are the best boy.
197
00:09:53,579 --> 00:09:56,834
The most perfect boy in the world.
Do you know that?
198
00:09:57,251 --> 00:09:58,916
Like Mommy tells you every night,
199
00:09:59,323 --> 00:10:02,130
if all the little boys
in the world were lined up
200
00:10:02,214 --> 00:10:04,233
and I could only pick one,
201
00:10:05,445 --> 00:10:07,964
I'd pick you every time.
202
00:10:09,124 --> 00:10:11,926
I love you, Andy. You're my perfect boy.
203
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:39,788
All right. This will be good for you.
A little adventure.
204
00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:42,080
All right. This is ridiculous.
205
00:10:42,164 --> 00:10:44,315
Come on, Mom.
Just give it a shot. It could be fun.
206
00:11:00,986 --> 00:11:02,525
Did you just ask if I hiked?
207
00:11:02,609 --> 00:11:04,470
No! I don't hike. Sorry.
208
00:11:04,681 --> 00:11:07,492
Try the skinny one in the corner.
She looks sporty.
209
00:11:07,576 --> 00:11:09,531
Don't talk to me though,
because I'm thinking.
210
00:11:21,704 --> 00:11:23,039
You couldn't even try, Ma?
211
00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:27,569
I mean, you're never going to
meet a man like that.
212
00:11:27,653 --> 00:11:29,910
Dad died when I was eight years old.
213
00:11:29,994 --> 00:11:32,128
You haven't been on one date
since then. Right?
214
00:11:32,869 --> 00:11:34,271
You know what it comes down to?
215
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,640
It comes down to M&M's in bed.
216
00:11:39,348 --> 00:11:41,868
Yeah, because when those years
I was with your father, you know?
217
00:11:42,859 --> 00:11:46,459
I would hide them under
my pillow until he fell asleep...
218
00:11:46,966 --> 00:11:49,351
...so I could eat them
without being criticized.
219
00:11:49,986 --> 00:11:52,820
And I will never hide my M&M's again.
220
00:11:55,293 --> 00:11:56,803
It really makes a lot of sense,
221
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:58,167
-when you put it like that.
-It does.
222
00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,608
That's a good reason
to give up on men altogether.
223
00:11:59,692 --> 00:12:01,127
-Listen... You know what?
-Because of candy.
224
00:12:01,211 --> 00:12:02,668
You're one to give advice, honey?
225
00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:04,525
I mean, why aren't you with someone?
226
00:12:05,244 --> 00:12:06,656
-You know what it is, Ma?
-What?
227
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:08,801
I just haven't found a girl...
228
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,755
...who'll let me eat M&M's
in bed at night.
229
00:12:12,839 --> 00:12:14,008
Stop it!
230
00:12:14,092 --> 00:12:17,155
I mean, seriously, why is that
a legitimate excuse for you
231
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,399
and not for me? You say the same thing.
232
00:12:19,483 --> 00:12:23,025
Because I've had my marriage.
I've had my family.
233
00:12:23,403 --> 00:12:26,046
I've been to the dance
and now I am tired.
234
00:12:26,682 --> 00:12:28,623
You are skipping the dance altogether!
235
00:12:29,447 --> 00:12:30,891
Maybe you need therapy.
236
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,085
Yeah. It helps me.
237
00:12:34,012 --> 00:12:34,913
I don't need therapy.
238
00:12:34,997 --> 00:12:36,783
And since when do you go to therapy?
239
00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:39,747
Anita and I meet once a week for coffee.
240
00:12:40,004 --> 00:12:43,469
Well, unless you two are meeting
a therapist for coffee,
241
00:12:43,553 --> 00:12:46,505
then you're not going to therapy,
'cause Anita's a librarian.
242
00:12:46,589 --> 00:12:48,129
I'll tell you what we mostly talk about...
243
00:12:48,213 --> 00:12:50,276
-Yeah?
-Is why I blame myself...
244
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,024
...for your deep-seated problems
with women.
245
00:12:53,108 --> 00:12:55,101
Good. You talk to Anita
about my deep-seated
246
00:12:55,186 --> 00:12:56,743
-problems with women that you've imagined.
-I do.
247
00:12:56,827 --> 00:12:57,738
Yeah.
248
00:12:58,913 --> 00:13:01,892
Sometimes I feel like I ruined it for you.
249
00:13:02,143 --> 00:13:03,695
You know what? I know. I know you do.
250
00:13:03,779 --> 00:13:06,183
You know why?
Because you set the bar so high
251
00:13:06,267 --> 00:13:08,648
for all other women,
that no one lives up to my mom.
252
00:13:08,732 --> 00:13:09,837
No, it's not that.
253
00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:11,915
It is. I'm going to sleep, Ma. Okay?
254
00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:15,005
No, I... Anita says
I should tell you about
255
00:13:15,090 --> 00:13:17,184
the boy I fell in love with in Florida.
256
00:13:19,002 --> 00:13:19,996
The what?
257
00:13:20,186 --> 00:13:22,181
It's time you know this about me, Andy.
258
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:23,649
Know what?
259
00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:28,627
Well, there was this incident in my life
that I really never told you about.
260
00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:30,778
I went to Florida on vacation.
261
00:13:30,862 --> 00:13:33,399
I was very young,
19, 20, something like that.
262
00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:34,410
Okay. Good.
263
00:13:34,494 --> 00:13:38,434
And I met a boy,
and I fell in love with him.
264
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,387
Yeah.
265
00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:43,824
Honestly, Andy, I fell in love
with him kind of instantly.
266
00:13:44,133 --> 00:13:45,236
Okay.
267
00:13:45,320 --> 00:13:46,946
He lived in Manhattan, too.
268
00:13:47,464 --> 00:13:50,221
And so we came back
and we started seeing each other.
269
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:55,586
He didn't want anything serious,
but I was just caught up with this...
270
00:13:56,263 --> 00:13:57,848
Oh, the passion of it all!
271
00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,389
Andy, we were so passionate.
272
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:03,648
Feel free to skim over those
details as much as you want.
273
00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:05,577
-I won't gross you out.
-Yeah. That's cool.
274
00:14:05,662 --> 00:14:09,368
I mean, he didn't want to be serious,
really, at the time.
275
00:14:10,030 --> 00:14:12,168
But I wanted a family, I wanted a baby.
276
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:13,818
That's all I ever really wanted.
277
00:14:14,893 --> 00:14:16,959
And so, eventually,
your father came along.
278
00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:19,776
What about the guy from
you met in Florida?
279
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:21,504
Well, he became boyfriend number one
280
00:14:21,588 --> 00:14:23,476
and your dad became boyfriend number two.
281
00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:26,155
-No, honey...
-That's nasty!
282
00:14:26,239 --> 00:14:27,910
It was a trampy year for Mommy.
283
00:14:30,198 --> 00:14:31,903
-Please. Anyway...
-Why are you telling me this?
284
00:14:31,987 --> 00:14:35,695
Your father proposed within,
like, a month, I think.
285
00:14:36,579 --> 00:14:38,599
So I went to the boy and I said,
286
00:14:39,442 --> 00:14:43,006
you know, "I met somebody
and he wants to marry me,"
287
00:14:43,588 --> 00:14:48,231
hoping that he would say,
"Joyce, you cannot do that."
288
00:14:48,315 --> 00:14:50,100
"You cannot marry this guy!"
289
00:14:50,463 --> 00:14:51,497
But he didn't say that.
290
00:14:52,519 --> 00:14:53,838
You know what he actually said?
291
00:14:54,391 --> 00:14:56,531
He said, "You're great."
292
00:14:59,868 --> 00:15:02,816
But he told me to marry your father.
293
00:15:05,922 --> 00:15:06,987
Oh, God.
294
00:15:08,335 --> 00:15:09,608
I was so devastated.
295
00:15:11,564 --> 00:15:14,539
I was so devastated that
I couldn't even see him again.
296
00:15:15,422 --> 00:15:16,316
Well, what happened?
297
00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:18,122
Well...
298
00:15:18,765 --> 00:15:21,664
What happened?
I married your father, we moved,
299
00:15:21,748 --> 00:15:23,507
I got pregnant, and...
300
00:15:24,558 --> 00:15:27,181
When we found out it was a boy, you know,
301
00:15:28,978 --> 00:15:32,465
I started going through names,
as people do, and...
302
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:38,108
You want your child to remind you
of someone you love... Loved!
303
00:15:39,111 --> 00:15:40,172
And so...
304
00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:42,973
I named you Andy.
305
00:15:44,428 --> 00:15:46,038
After the boy from Florida.
306
00:15:51,346 --> 00:15:52,758
You want more ice cream?
307
00:15:55,811 --> 00:15:56,811
Holy shit.
308
00:15:56,895 --> 00:15:59,974
Andy! Please.
Enough with the language, okay?
309
00:16:00,058 --> 00:16:02,187
Did... Did Dad know about this?
310
00:16:02,271 --> 00:16:04,489
Now, that is not something that you share
311
00:16:04,573 --> 00:16:05,842
with your husband. You know?
312
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,449
Holy shit!
313
00:16:08,937 --> 00:16:10,104
What is wrong with you?
314
00:16:10,188 --> 00:16:12,047
That is enough
with the street talk, okay?
315
00:16:12,131 --> 00:16:13,262
Ma, I...
316
00:16:14,619 --> 00:16:16,159
I need you to be honest with me, okay?
317
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:17,201
Yes, I will.
318
00:16:18,623 --> 00:16:19,605
Is he my father?
319
00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:22,310
No, honey. No, he's not your father.
320
00:16:22,838 --> 00:16:23,718
No, no.
321
00:16:23,802 --> 00:16:25,322
It was two years later when I had you.
322
00:16:26,410 --> 00:16:28,537
His last name is Margolis.
323
00:16:30,025 --> 00:16:31,857
Andy Margolis.
324
00:16:32,506 --> 00:16:34,826
From J&R Advertising.
325
00:16:35,673 --> 00:16:37,164
Isn't it funny how I remember that?
326
00:16:37,248 --> 00:16:38,154
Yeah.
327
00:16:38,978 --> 00:16:39,873
Yeah.
328
00:16:55,899 --> 00:16:56,779
J &R.
329
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,143
Hi. I'm trying to track down someone
330
00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:01,951
who used to work in your New York office.
331
00:17:02,035 --> 00:17:05,691
Probably many years ago.
The name is Andy, or...
332
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,523
Andrew Margolis?
333
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,076
Hold on, please.
334
00:17:12,446 --> 00:17:15,696
Okay, I see that Andrew Margolis
is in our San Francisco offices.
335
00:17:16,463 --> 00:17:20,301
Okay. Great! How long ago
did he work there?
336
00:17:20,611 --> 00:17:22,888
No, sir. Mr Margolis is an Executive V.P.
337
00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:24,888
in our San Francisco office currently.
338
00:17:25,105 --> 00:17:25,921
Really?
339
00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:27,245
Would you like to be connected?
340
00:17:27,899 --> 00:17:28,767
Okay!
341
00:17:30,321 --> 00:17:31,727
Andrew Margolis's office.
342
00:17:31,811 --> 00:17:33,525
Seriously? No shit.
343
00:17:33,814 --> 00:17:34,714
Is...
344
00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:37,547
Is Andrew in, please?
345
00:17:37,718 --> 00:17:40,009
Mr Margolis is in Europe
until next Monday.
346
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,015
This is Becky.
347
00:17:41,463 --> 00:17:45,262
Hi, Becky.
I'm a very old friend of Andrew's.
348
00:17:45,672 --> 00:17:50,119
We were in Nam together?
349
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:52,665
Just backpacking though.
350
00:17:52,749 --> 00:17:55,271
And I thought it would be great
to see him again.
351
00:17:56,436 --> 00:17:58,563
So I guess he finally took the wife
352
00:17:58,647 --> 00:18:00,899
on that trip to Europe
she's always wanted?
353
00:18:01,364 --> 00:18:03,231
Mr Margolis isn't married, sir.
354
00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:05,378
Is there a specific message
you'd like to leave?
355
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:08,295
No! No. So he gets back next Monday.
356
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,381
Yes, he does.
357
00:18:09,465 --> 00:18:12,031
-Okay. Thank you.
-You're welcome.
358
00:18:17,169 --> 00:18:18,189
Holy shit.
359
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,226
I made eggs just the way you like them,
360
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,417
and I used turkey bacon,
361
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:26,136
which was on sale,
but I know it's still good.
362
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:28,123
I'm always concerned
for your health, right?
363
00:18:29,446 --> 00:18:30,357
You know,
364
00:18:31,272 --> 00:18:33,228
I was up all night last night,
365
00:18:33,919 --> 00:18:36,306
because I was thinking
about your problems, Andy.
366
00:18:37,128 --> 00:18:40,575
Jessica was your first
serious relationship.
367
00:18:40,910 --> 00:18:42,160
So let's start with her.
368
00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:46,286
I remember when you broke up,
but I can't remember why.
369
00:18:46,849 --> 00:18:47,794
Do you remember?
370
00:18:52,769 --> 00:18:54,879
Okay! We'll skip Jessica for now.
371
00:18:55,574 --> 00:18:57,294
What do you think
we should do today, honey?
372
00:18:57,468 --> 00:19:01,262
You know what? You have to remind me
to get Tylenol later,
373
00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:02,481
'cause I'm running low.
374
00:19:02,565 --> 00:19:05,713
And I also told Gayle
that I would pick some up for her.
375
00:19:05,797 --> 00:19:07,143
Did I remember to call Gayle back?
376
00:19:07,227 --> 00:19:09,530
I don't know what's happening to me.
I'm getting forgetful.
377
00:19:09,614 --> 00:19:11,617
You want to come
on the trip with me, Mom?
378
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:18,654
My road trip, that I'm going on. I...
379
00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:21,119
It's long,
380
00:19:21,554 --> 00:19:24,794
and I thought maybe
I could use some company
381
00:19:24,878 --> 00:19:27,090
in the form of you.
382
00:19:29,995 --> 00:19:33,947
You want to drive cross-country
in a car with me?
383
00:19:37,317 --> 00:19:38,157
Yeah!
384
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,644
No, it's... You know,
we won't be gone long.
385
00:19:40,728 --> 00:19:43,029
It's only eight days in a car together,
386
00:19:43,114 --> 00:19:45,465
and then I got to be in San Francisco.
387
00:19:45,549 --> 00:19:47,677
My last meeting's in San Francisco now.
388
00:19:47,761 --> 00:19:48,863
What happened to Vegas?
389
00:19:48,947 --> 00:19:52,609
I got a new meeting last night
in San Francisco, so...
390
00:19:54,071 --> 00:19:55,492
Yeah! What do you say?
391
00:19:56,093 --> 00:19:58,599
If this is you worrying about me, Andy,
392
00:19:58,838 --> 00:20:01,270
you don't have to because Mommy's fine.
393
00:20:01,354 --> 00:20:03,295
That's not at all what it is, Ma.
394
00:20:04,441 --> 00:20:05,559
What?
395
00:20:05,643 --> 00:20:07,064
I've had such a good time...
396
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:10,233
...hanging out with you
these last few days,
397
00:20:10,317 --> 00:20:12,527
I thought it would be fun to...
398
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:16,315
...to hang out even more
and spend time with you.
399
00:20:17,873 --> 00:20:18,723
Wait a minute.
400
00:20:18,807 --> 00:20:21,441
I want to make sure that
I'm hearing this correctly.
401
00:20:22,629 --> 00:20:26,955
You want to spend a week
in a car with your mother.
402
00:20:27,672 --> 00:20:28,625
Is that what I heard?
403
00:20:29,705 --> 00:20:31,745
More than anything in the world.
404
00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:34,535
Don't you think I would drive you crazy?
405
00:20:35,862 --> 00:20:38,064
Don't you think I might get
on your nerves a little bit?
406
00:20:38,148 --> 00:20:39,218
No, you know what?
407
00:20:39,399 --> 00:20:42,252
It was just a thought and
if you don't want to do it, then fine.
408
00:20:42,336 --> 00:20:43,379
I don't want to push you...
409
00:20:43,463 --> 00:20:45,392
What? What? Am I so awful
that you can't spend
410
00:20:45,476 --> 00:20:46,685
a little time in a car with me?
411
00:20:46,769 --> 00:20:48,686
Jesus Christ, Ma,
how did you turn this around?
412
00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:50,734
I just invited you to... I'm inviting you!
413
00:20:50,818 --> 00:20:53,296
Do you want to drive
across the country with me?
414
00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:54,734
Well, I might have to reroute my mail.
415
00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:57,194
-Okay!
-I'd have to miss my book club.
416
00:20:57,278 --> 00:21:00,925
Ma, you have five seconds to tell me
whether you want to go or not.
417
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,635
And then I'm revoking my offer, okay?
418
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,037
-Are you coming?
-Okay. One, two...
419
00:21:04,121 --> 00:21:06,103
I can't wait! What, are you kidding me?
420
00:21:06,187 --> 00:21:08,458
-Honey! That is so exciting!
-Okay, great! Good! I am!
421
00:21:08,542 --> 00:21:11,032
-Tateleh! My boy, my boy!
-Okay... You really are.
422
00:21:11,116 --> 00:21:12,304
The sweetest...
423
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,620
-Look at this! I love you!
-Okay, okay, easy.
424
00:21:14,704 --> 00:21:17,739
Oh, my God! I can't believe...
I have to call Gayle!
425
00:21:17,823 --> 00:21:18,831
Oh, my God!
426
00:21:18,915 --> 00:21:21,148
I'll have to retouch
my roots though before I go.
427
00:21:21,232 --> 00:21:22,321
What am I gonna pack?
428
00:21:22,405 --> 00:21:24,327
You've got to fill me in
on all the weather conditions
429
00:21:24,411 --> 00:21:26,514
in all the states
that we're gonna go through.
430
00:21:28,044 --> 00:21:30,410
Okay, it's fine. I got it.
It's fine. I got it.
431
00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:32,326
Are you sure you didn't forget anything?
432
00:21:32,410 --> 00:21:33,770
God, I don't know if I forgot something.
433
00:21:33,854 --> 00:21:37,186
I don't think that's possible.
I may be getting a hernia.
434
00:21:37,270 --> 00:21:39,631
-Are you okay?
-Yeah. I'll put that here.
435
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:42,483
Good, there's not too many people here.
436
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:44,916
Honey, make sure to ask
if they have any kind of deal.
437
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,621
-Okay. I Will do that.
-Thank you.
438
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,547
Hi, I'm Mark. I'll be assisting you.
439
00:21:48,643 --> 00:21:51,266
-Do you have a reservation?
-I do. Last name is Brewster.
440
00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:52,778
Brewster. Okay.
441
00:21:53,762 --> 00:21:56,061
There it is. I just need a
valid license and credit card.
442
00:21:56,145 --> 00:21:58,191
-Ask him.
-Okay, I will. Please relax.
443
00:21:58,275 --> 00:21:59,912
Please calm down, Mom!
444
00:22:00,637 --> 00:22:03,843
Sorry, but I just want
to confirm I got an SUV
445
00:22:03,927 --> 00:22:05,213
with a GPS system in it?
446
00:22:05,297 --> 00:22:07,400
I have you in a Dodge Durango,
GPS included,
447
00:22:07,484 --> 00:22:08,726
returning in San Francisco.
448
00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:10,113
-Great.
-Do you really need an SUV?
449
00:22:10,197 --> 00:22:11,773
The gas'll cost more than the car.
450
00:22:11,857 --> 00:22:13,612
So that comes out to 112 dollars a day.
451
00:22:13,696 --> 00:22:15,946
Wait, wait, wait! I got a coupon.
452
00:22:16,038 --> 00:22:19,655
Good. Yeah. That works.
It takes 15 percent off, so...
453
00:22:20,612 --> 00:22:23,388
...it brings your new
total to 940 dollars.
454
00:22:23,472 --> 00:22:24,354
Excuse me one second.
455
00:22:24,438 --> 00:22:26,564
-Way to go! Yeah.
-That was very exciting.
456
00:22:26,648 --> 00:22:28,433
-I was going to ask.
-Yeah. Really.
457
00:22:28,517 --> 00:22:29,700
-Yes!
-I thought you forgot.
458
00:22:29,784 --> 00:22:32,126
You thought in the two seconds
since you reminded me...
459
00:22:32,210 --> 00:22:36,330
Anyway! Anyway, nowadays
small cars are fine in the snow.
460
00:22:36,414 --> 00:22:37,984
They probably have that GPS thing.
461
00:22:38,068 --> 00:22:40,236
They don't. Okay? Only big cars have GPS.
462
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,922
Actually, our GPS systems are separate.
463
00:22:43,006 --> 00:22:44,876
You can rent them with any car.
464
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,694
And our economy cars
handle quite well in the snow.
465
00:22:49,898 --> 00:22:51,609
-Thank you, Mark.
-You're welcome.
466
00:22:51,693 --> 00:22:54,514
So we'll just go by the circus,
drop off our clowns...
467
00:22:54,598 --> 00:22:56,693
Andy, stop it! It's adorable.
468
00:22:56,777 --> 00:22:57,951
You sure you don't mind driving, Ma?
469
00:22:58,035 --> 00:23:00,278
No, honey. You work on your presentation.
470
00:23:00,363 --> 00:23:01,728
I got my Book on Tape.
471
00:23:05,252 --> 00:23:06,646
What are you doing, Ma?
472
00:23:06,730 --> 00:23:08,533
Trying to find my Book on Tape.
473
00:23:08,617 --> 00:23:10,904
Okay. Just keep your eyes
on the road, for God sakes!
474
00:23:10,989 --> 00:23:13,810
-Here it is.
-Okay, okay! Okay.
475
00:23:15,012 --> 00:23:17,956
It's called Middlesex.
This tape is excellent.
476
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:21,105
It's about a hermaphrodite.
You know, a boy and a girl?
477
00:23:21,895 --> 00:23:23,762
Two different parts in one person?
478
00:23:23,846 --> 00:23:25,389
I... Yes, I know that.
479
00:23:25,473 --> 00:23:27,264
It was in Oprah's Book Club once.
480
00:23:27,348 --> 00:23:28,393
Say no more!
481
00:23:34,220 --> 00:23:35,343
You'll like this.
482
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,072
I love spoons.
483
00:23:55,394 --> 00:23:57,712
You know what? That's enough
Middlesex for now, I think.
484
00:23:57,796 --> 00:23:59,250
That's good. Yeah, we're...
485
00:23:59,335 --> 00:24:02,378
So, what's the plan,
my little co-captain?
486
00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:05,043
Well, I got three meetings today,
487
00:24:05,127 --> 00:24:06,774
and then I got a few in Virginia,
488
00:24:06,858 --> 00:24:08,555
and the last one is in Roanoke.
489
00:24:08,639 --> 00:24:09,620
Roanoke!
490
00:24:10,148 --> 00:24:12,598
Then Texas is next. Costco. That's...
491
00:24:12,973 --> 00:24:15,975
That's a big one,
so if we want to get there in time,
492
00:24:16,059 --> 00:24:17,589
we gotta be in Tennessee by Tuesday.
493
00:24:17,673 --> 00:24:20,139
You know who lives in Tennessee, right?
494
00:24:20,282 --> 00:24:21,653
Yes, I do. So after that...
495
00:24:21,737 --> 00:24:23,306
Jessica in Nashville.
496
00:24:23,390 --> 00:24:25,605
-I know.
-You know, I ran into her mother recently.
497
00:24:25,689 --> 00:24:27,295
She says it's lovely there!
498
00:24:27,379 --> 00:24:28,774
I'm sure it is. So...
499
00:24:28,858 --> 00:24:30,232
You know, I spoke to Anita this morning.
500
00:24:30,316 --> 00:24:32,098
Anita says that it would be good for you
501
00:24:32,182 --> 00:24:34,539
to get some closure
with that relationship.
502
00:24:34,623 --> 00:24:37,143
So if we have time,
we should meet up with her.
503
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:39,400
From Texas, we head to Santa Fe,
504
00:24:39,484 --> 00:24:41,758
where I have one more pitch, then Vegas.
505
00:24:42,248 --> 00:24:44,595
A mom and her baby boy in Vegas.
Sounds like fun!
506
00:24:44,679 --> 00:24:47,210
That's their new slogan,
I think, for tourism.
507
00:24:47,294 --> 00:24:49,115
"A mom and her baby boy in Vegas." Yeah.
508
00:24:51,638 --> 00:24:55,046
You know, I can't stop thinking about...
509
00:24:55,130 --> 00:24:56,131
What, honey?
510
00:24:56,532 --> 00:24:58,435
About that story you told me
the other night, honestly.
511
00:24:58,519 --> 00:24:59,866
About Andy Margolis.
512
00:24:59,950 --> 00:25:01,819
I mean, tell me more about him.
What was it...
513
00:25:02,328 --> 00:25:04,088
What was it about him
that you liked so much?
514
00:25:05,180 --> 00:25:06,104
I don't know.
515
00:25:06,576 --> 00:25:08,852
Broad shoulders, you know. Oops! Sorry.
516
00:25:09,532 --> 00:25:13,442
Okay, what else?
Anything less physically based?
517
00:25:14,883 --> 00:25:17,977
I was cross-eyed when I was a little girl.
I told you that, right?
518
00:25:18,324 --> 00:25:20,228
What does this have to do
with what I asked you?
519
00:25:20,312 --> 00:25:23,984
Well, one day I meet this boy,
out of nowhere.
520
00:25:24,306 --> 00:25:27,756
Andy Margolis.
We went out on this first date.
521
00:25:28,296 --> 00:25:32,402
We were dancing,
and he told me that I was beautiful.
522
00:25:34,295 --> 00:25:36,998
He was the first person
to ever tell me that.
523
00:25:42,442 --> 00:25:45,347
Don't you ever wonder, like, where he is,
what happened to him?
524
00:25:45,653 --> 00:25:46,630
A little bit?
525
00:25:47,444 --> 00:25:50,389
It's in the past, Andy. It's in the past.
526
00:25:54,357 --> 00:25:57,201
I could probably
find him if you really wanted.
527
00:25:57,285 --> 00:25:58,731
Don't you dare!
528
00:25:58,815 --> 00:26:00,809
He's probably fat and obnoxious by now.
529
00:26:00,893 --> 00:26:02,327
Maybe he's just fat.
530
00:26:08,227 --> 00:26:10,858
What are you doing? No, no!
Don't move their stuff around!
531
00:26:10,942 --> 00:26:13,073
What are you doing?
Just put it on the floor.
532
00:26:13,157 --> 00:26:16,049
No, I don't put things on the floor.
The floor is dirty.
533
00:26:16,133 --> 00:26:17,781
The floor is too dirty for your purse?
534
00:26:17,865 --> 00:26:19,677
You've been using that tissue in there
for the last three days.
535
00:26:19,761 --> 00:26:20,996
Well, there's always a clean side.
536
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,179
But it's true.
You keep shoving it back in there.
537
00:26:23,263 --> 00:26:24,792
I know, but I don't do things like that.
538
00:26:24,876 --> 00:26:27,304
And anyway I forgot, I got my gizmo.
539
00:26:30,666 --> 00:26:31,615
Purse hook.
540
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:32,842
Of course.
541
00:26:39,064 --> 00:26:40,135
What are you...
542
00:26:40,365 --> 00:26:42,774
-What?
-You did something to me. What is that?
543
00:26:42,858 --> 00:26:44,355
-Just pick it up.
-No. It's fine.
544
00:26:44,439 --> 00:26:45,979
Push it back. Show your face.
545
00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,571
-Okay, my hair looks fine.
-Okay, okay.
546
00:26:48,656 --> 00:26:49,507
Is it weird?
547
00:26:49,591 --> 00:26:51,631
-No, it's nice now.
-Did you make it look weirder?
548
00:26:51,745 --> 00:26:52,672
Thank you.
549
00:26:54,977 --> 00:26:57,472
Honey, I know you're nervous,
but your show is gonna be great.
550
00:26:57,804 --> 00:26:59,399
It's a pitch. It's a...
551
00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:02,134
It's called a pitch, Mom.
552
00:27:02,218 --> 00:27:03,335
Whatever it's called.
553
00:27:03,419 --> 00:27:04,969
It's going to be great, I can feel it.
554
00:27:05,695 --> 00:27:06,681
I'm glad.
555
00:27:08,309 --> 00:27:09,164
Okay.
556
00:27:10,206 --> 00:27:12,074
-You focus.
-I'm trying.
557
00:27:12,158 --> 00:27:13,760
-And while you're focusing...
-Yes.
558
00:27:14,884 --> 00:27:16,684
...I'm going to play my game.
559
00:27:20,210 --> 00:27:21,992
-Till they call you.
-Yup.
560
00:27:22,815 --> 00:27:23,717
All right!
561
00:27:36,162 --> 00:27:38,103
What? I'm playing slots, what?
562
00:27:38,187 --> 00:27:40,231
Yeah, it's incredibly loud!
563
00:27:40,315 --> 00:27:42,358
-Mr Brewster?
-Yes, hi there!
564
00:27:42,442 --> 00:27:43,469
Hi there! They're ready for you.
565
00:27:43,553 --> 00:27:45,200
Oh, fantastic! Great, good.
566
00:27:46,054 --> 00:27:47,361
No. What are you doing?
567
00:27:47,445 --> 00:27:48,995
-Going with you?
-No.
568
00:27:49,079 --> 00:27:50,423
-You can't come.
-Why not?
569
00:27:50,507 --> 00:27:52,371
I can't bring my mother in!
It'll look crazy.
570
00:27:52,455 --> 00:27:53,880
They don't know I'm your mother.
571
00:27:53,964 --> 00:27:55,694
That's even weirder. Then who are you?
572
00:27:55,778 --> 00:27:57,197
-Do you need a minute?
-No, I'm good!
573
00:27:57,281 --> 00:27:58,808
Thank you. I'm okay. Great.
What are you...
574
00:27:58,892 --> 00:28:00,027
-He's ready.
-Please...
575
00:28:00,111 --> 00:28:02,106
Thank you! Hi! Thank you very much!
576
00:28:02,190 --> 00:28:03,371
-Thank you.
-Great!
577
00:28:05,689 --> 00:28:06,776
Good luck, sweetheart!
578
00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:09,032
Thank you, ma'am! Nice to meet you!
579
00:28:09,499 --> 00:28:12,680
Scieoclean is the only product
that harnesses
580
00:28:12,764 --> 00:28:14,978
the sustainable, renewable cleaning power
581
00:28:15,062 --> 00:28:16,314
of these three products.
582
00:28:16,652 --> 00:28:21,088
Now, this is a top-of-the-line
digital pH meter.
583
00:28:21,323 --> 00:28:23,668
This is our competitor's product.
584
00:28:23,752 --> 00:28:26,211
Okay. Well, thank you
for your time, Andrew.
585
00:28:27,225 --> 00:28:30,333
That's it? I have FDA approval, and...
586
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,495
I just don't think it's for us.
587
00:28:33,386 --> 00:28:35,928
But I want you to leave a card.
We'll be in touch.
588
00:28:43,187 --> 00:28:44,028
Honey!
589
00:28:45,498 --> 00:28:47,223
-How did it go?
-I don't want to jinx it,
590
00:28:47,307 --> 00:28:48,578
but I think it went pretty good, actually.
591
00:28:48,662 --> 00:28:50,864
-Really? Good job, sweetheart.
-Yeah.
592
00:28:54,073 --> 00:28:57,127
This is gonna be good.
This is gonna be really good.
593
00:28:57,608 --> 00:28:59,456
I can't wait to see what happens, right?
594
00:29:00,332 --> 00:29:03,524
Look! The World's Largest
Praying Hands are in Tulsa!
595
00:29:03,608 --> 00:29:07,250
The World's Largest
Rubik's Cube is in Tennessee!
596
00:29:07,447 --> 00:29:08,994
The Grand Canyon!
597
00:29:09,078 --> 00:29:11,249
I've always wanted to see
the Grand Canyon!
598
00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:13,153
No time, Ma. Tight schedule.
599
00:29:16,820 --> 00:29:17,666
Thank you.
600
00:29:19,464 --> 00:29:20,701
Hey.
601
00:29:20,786 --> 00:29:22,997
-Good? Did it go good?
-Yeah, it seemed to go really good.
602
00:29:23,081 --> 00:29:24,701
You have a nice smile on your face.
603
00:29:24,785 --> 00:29:25,854
Here, take a little water.
604
00:29:26,879 --> 00:29:28,574
Andy, I think you're going the wrong way.
605
00:29:28,658 --> 00:29:30,244
We are not going the wrong way!
606
00:29:31,746 --> 00:29:33,086
Well, that must feel good.
607
00:29:37,470 --> 00:29:39,258
Why are you calling me, Ma?
608
00:29:39,342 --> 00:29:41,035
Just go to the bathroom and come back!
609
00:29:41,119 --> 00:29:42,476
What are you doing in there?
610
00:29:43,161 --> 00:29:46,053
No, I don't want French fries!
Just come back!
611
00:29:52,459 --> 00:29:53,655
-Andy.
-Yeah.
612
00:29:53,739 --> 00:29:56,364
Promise me you'll never
pick up a hitchhiker, okay?
613
00:29:56,448 --> 00:29:58,367
I promise I will never
pick up a hitchhiker.
614
00:29:58,451 --> 00:30:00,198
Good. They rape.
615
00:30:02,172 --> 00:30:03,916
You think they have a Gap Outlet here?
616
00:30:04,001 --> 00:30:06,681
-A Gap Outlet?
-I'm having Gap withdrawal!
617
00:30:07,344 --> 00:30:09,270
-Oh, good. Thank you.
-Sure thing.
618
00:30:10,084 --> 00:30:11,140
Look at this.
619
00:30:12,111 --> 00:30:13,400
-Wow.
-Evening.
620
00:30:13,485 --> 00:30:14,556
Thank you.
621
00:30:15,158 --> 00:30:17,062
Andy, look, they have a gift shop!
622
00:30:17,146 --> 00:30:19,170
Great. You go over there.
623
00:30:22,495 --> 00:30:25,766
Hi. Do you have any
rooms available for the night?
624
00:30:26,397 --> 00:30:29,496
Well, of course!
A room for you and your lady?
625
00:30:30,101 --> 00:30:31,057
My "lady"?
626
00:30:31,141 --> 00:30:34,080
Andy, look, look!
They have clip-on frog earrings!
627
00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:39,269
No! Dude, that's... Don't wink at me!
628
00:30:39,512 --> 00:30:41,554
That's horrible! That's my mother!
629
00:30:42,004 --> 00:30:44,424
Are you insane? I need two rooms, okay?
630
00:30:44,508 --> 00:30:45,839
Andy, don't be ridiculous.
631
00:30:45,923 --> 00:30:47,108
Is that what you said? Two rooms?
632
00:30:47,192 --> 00:30:49,304
It's not ridiculous. It's very necessary.
633
00:30:49,388 --> 00:30:51,691
-It's a waste of money!
-Not wasting money.
634
00:30:51,910 --> 00:30:53,514
-Two separate rooms.
-Sorry.
635
00:30:53,776 --> 00:30:54,702
Don't be sorry!
636
00:30:54,786 --> 00:30:57,927
Just don't imply that
I am sleeping with my mother.
637
00:30:58,693 --> 00:31:02,664
I am ready to go to market
and I have full FDA approval!
638
00:31:03,084 --> 00:31:05,607
That sounds very impressive, Andy!
639
00:31:06,458 --> 00:31:08,044
-FDA approval!
-Yeah.
640
00:31:08,629 --> 00:31:09,870
That is fancy.
641
00:31:09,954 --> 00:31:11,678
-Very fancy.
-Thank you, Ma. Good.
642
00:31:12,341 --> 00:31:13,919
-I do have a few thoughts.
-Great.
643
00:31:14,183 --> 00:31:16,372
It's just a little hard to follow,
you know.
644
00:31:16,456 --> 00:31:18,923
I'm still a little unclear,
with all the coconuts...
645
00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:22,190
What was that thing? "Dermal"?
For the skin?
646
00:31:22,274 --> 00:31:24,314
Yeah. Dermal. Skin.
Yeah, I'm saying like...
647
00:31:24,453 --> 00:31:27,928
I'm saying it's safe if you get it
on your skin or in your eyes
648
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:30,395
or if you ingest it by accident, you know?
649
00:31:30,479 --> 00:31:32,071
Well, why don't you just say that?
650
00:31:32,155 --> 00:31:34,590
I mean, keep it simple. Make it clear.
651
00:31:34,674 --> 00:31:36,589
I would get personal with them, too.
652
00:31:36,673 --> 00:31:39,752
Like, you talk about their kids,
talk about their pets.
653
00:31:39,836 --> 00:31:41,785
Possibly seeing one of their loved ones
654
00:31:41,869 --> 00:31:44,549
writhing in agony on the floor
because they just
655
00:31:44,866 --> 00:31:47,976
accidentally swallowed some
of these other brands, you know?
656
00:31:48,060 --> 00:31:49,297
That's good. You know
what I should do is actually
657
00:31:49,381 --> 00:31:51,624
bring in a kid and poison it
in front of them.
658
00:31:51,708 --> 00:31:52,683
And then they could actually just see
659
00:31:52,767 --> 00:31:54,109
-what that would be like.
-Now you're being silly, Andy.
660
00:31:54,193 --> 00:31:56,267
I'm just saying, if it's safe
to put on your skin,
661
00:31:56,351 --> 00:31:57,421
then put it on your skin.
662
00:31:57,505 --> 00:31:58,529
If it's safe to drink it...
663
00:31:58,613 --> 00:31:59,800
-Yeah.
-...drink it.
664
00:32:00,092 --> 00:32:01,263
Real good thinking, yeah.
665
00:32:01,347 --> 00:32:03,539
You probably need to flavor it.
666
00:32:04,176 --> 00:32:05,335
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
667
00:32:05,419 --> 00:32:07,927
Cherry flavor, maybe, or root beer.
668
00:32:08,355 --> 00:32:10,244
It's a cleaning product, Ma,
669
00:32:10,328 --> 00:32:11,814
so root beer might be kind of a weird...
670
00:32:11,898 --> 00:32:13,538
No, no! Oh, mint! Mint.
671
00:32:13,772 --> 00:32:15,375
I'm just saying, if you drank it,
672
00:32:15,595 --> 00:32:18,473
it would make it
certainly more entertaining.
673
00:32:18,557 --> 00:32:19,877
You know? Make it more of a show.
674
00:32:19,961 --> 00:32:24,449
Well, I'm a scientist, Ma,
I'm not a performer.
675
00:32:24,533 --> 00:32:27,783
So, it's not really
my priority to make it a show.
676
00:32:27,867 --> 00:32:29,420
I'm not a showman, Ma.
677
00:32:29,504 --> 00:32:30,986
-That is nonsense, honey.
-Yeah.
678
00:32:31,070 --> 00:32:33,503
Remember how good you were
in Man of La Mancha?
679
00:32:33,587 --> 00:32:35,109
People like a performance.
680
00:32:35,193 --> 00:32:36,789
You're right. No, you're right.
That's a great idea.
681
00:32:36,873 --> 00:32:38,556
I should just do Man of La Mancha maybe.
682
00:32:38,641 --> 00:32:41,277
I... You know what?
I'll tell you what I would do.
683
00:32:41,362 --> 00:32:44,025
-What would you do?
-I would change the name, too.
684
00:32:44,109 --> 00:32:46,110
Because, look at this,
this is very confusing.
685
00:32:46,194 --> 00:32:48,267
-What is it? Psychoclean?
-No.
686
00:32:48,351 --> 00:32:50,435
-Skyoclean? Science Clean.
-No.
687
00:32:50,519 --> 00:32:53,112
It's Scieoclean, and it's kind
of hard to change the name
688
00:32:53,196 --> 00:32:57,197
because it's written on 10,000 bottles
that I've already paid for. So...
689
00:32:57,303 --> 00:32:58,561
Well, it's just peculiar, is all.
690
00:32:58,645 --> 00:33:01,747
Okay, I'll change the name.
Okay? Great. Okay. Good.
691
00:33:01,831 --> 00:33:03,688
Andy, I'm having such a great time!
692
00:33:03,772 --> 00:33:04,576
That's good, Ma.
693
00:33:04,660 --> 00:33:07,919
You know, because I never get to go
to nice places like this.
694
00:33:08,003 --> 00:33:08,836
It's true.
695
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,658
This place has a quarter of a star,
so that's pretty good.
696
00:33:11,743 --> 00:33:15,000
Do you know that they have a free
continental breakfast here?
697
00:33:15,084 --> 00:33:18,419
I'm glad you're having such
a cultured trip with me, Ma.
698
00:33:18,503 --> 00:33:21,764
-I'm in absolute heaven.
-Good. Well, you know what?
699
00:33:23,676 --> 00:33:27,176
I'm pretty tired.
Maybe it's time we go to sleep.
700
00:33:27,261 --> 00:33:29,047
-I should let you sleep.
-Thank you.
701
00:33:29,131 --> 00:33:31,912
-I am so sorry.
-No problem. Thank you.
702
00:33:31,996 --> 00:33:33,591
And we don't want to
miss that breakfast, do we?
703
00:33:33,675 --> 00:33:36,081
-No. Of course. Good night.
-Okay, okay.
704
00:34:04,783 --> 00:34:07,330
Are you chewing on marbles over there?
705
00:34:07,414 --> 00:34:09,246
What is that sound, Ma?
What are you doing?
706
00:34:09,330 --> 00:34:10,310
What am I doing?
707
00:34:10,572 --> 00:34:13,055
I don't know what... It's really loud!
708
00:34:13,139 --> 00:34:13,999
I'm sorry.
709
00:34:14,098 --> 00:34:15,310
-Is that tin foil you're playing with?
-No, no, no.
710
00:34:15,394 --> 00:34:16,554
You're playing with tin foil?
711
00:34:17,626 --> 00:34:18,670
Just my M&M's.
712
00:34:18,754 --> 00:34:21,044
Okay, okay. You go to sleep.
713
00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:23,192
See you in the morning.
714
00:34:46,425 --> 00:34:48,223
You can take one of my books
into the bathroom
715
00:34:48,307 --> 00:34:49,442
if you have to make.
716
00:35:04,691 --> 00:35:05,721
Okay.
717
00:35:08,405 --> 00:35:10,053
It's getting really dark, isn't it?
718
00:35:10,137 --> 00:35:11,560
God, I hope it doesn't snow.
719
00:35:12,020 --> 00:35:14,888
Honey, we're in Tennessee.
It doesn't snow in Tennessee.
720
00:35:19,959 --> 00:35:22,890
You see? This is this
climate change thing!
721
00:35:23,448 --> 00:35:26,037
It's good I brought clothes
for all kinds of weather.
722
00:35:26,121 --> 00:35:27,947
-What are you doing?
-I'm getting my coat out!
723
00:35:28,031 --> 00:35:30,245
You're not being helpful!
You're distracting me! Just sit down!
724
00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:32,986
-Where's your coat?
-This is not very helpful right now.
725
00:35:33,070 --> 00:35:35,955
I can't believe I let you
talk me out of getting an SUV.
726
00:35:36,039 --> 00:35:37,081
I can't believe this.
727
00:35:39,081 --> 00:35:41,196
Andy, just drive slow, okay?
728
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,697
Don't worry about
what the truckers think.
729
00:35:42,781 --> 00:35:44,191
I'm not worried about
what the truckers think!
730
00:35:44,275 --> 00:35:45,602
Why would I be worried about...
731
00:35:46,355 --> 00:35:48,393
-Don't scream!
-Let's just get off this road!
732
00:35:48,477 --> 00:35:49,939
Maybe we should call Jessica!
733
00:35:50,024 --> 00:35:52,548
-You've got to be kidding me!
-Okay, we won't call her!
734
00:35:52,632 --> 00:35:54,322
No, we got a flat tire!
735
00:35:54,406 --> 00:35:57,140
Oh, this is a nightmare!
I'm pulling over.
736
00:35:57,224 --> 00:35:58,646
Good. Pull over!
737
00:35:58,730 --> 00:36:00,891
-Oh, we're going to die, Ma!
-No, we're not.
738
00:36:00,975 --> 00:36:03,330
-Where's your coat?
-Please stop talking.
739
00:36:03,414 --> 00:36:04,812
You know what? I deserve this.
740
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:06,771
This is what you get
for driving cross-country
741
00:36:06,856 --> 00:36:08,448
in a skateboard.
742
00:36:08,532 --> 00:36:10,849
-Don't dwell on the past.
-It's just crazy. It's totally crazy.
743
00:36:10,933 --> 00:36:11,991
-It could be worse.
-Are you kidding me?
744
00:36:12,075 --> 00:36:13,787
Look, we're seeing! We're alive!
745
00:36:13,871 --> 00:36:15,824
-Okay, yeah, we're alive.
-Just thank God for that.
746
00:36:15,908 --> 00:36:17,295
-Okay?
-Okay. I'm gonna get out...
747
00:36:17,379 --> 00:36:18,861
-Where's your coat?
-I don't need a coat!
748
00:36:18,945 --> 00:36:20,073
I'll be back in two seconds, okay?
749
00:36:20,157 --> 00:36:21,562
-You want to take my scarf?
-No. I'm fine!
750
00:36:21,646 --> 00:36:24,359
You're so macho!
What are you proving here?
751
00:36:24,443 --> 00:36:25,901
Be careful you don't slip!
752
00:36:26,716 --> 00:36:28,696
Andy, your feet are going to get soaked!
753
00:36:29,392 --> 00:36:30,828
Where are your galoshes?
754
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:32,988
Oh, come on.
755
00:36:35,739 --> 00:36:37,873
You're used to California,
that's what it is.
756
00:36:37,957 --> 00:36:39,256
You don't know from galoshes.
757
00:36:40,512 --> 00:36:41,542
I don't know.
758
00:36:42,594 --> 00:36:44,085
-I don't know. It...
-What?
759
00:36:44,971 --> 00:36:47,279
They don't look... They don't look flat.
760
00:36:48,047 --> 00:36:50,602
Well, something must be
wrong with it, you know?
761
00:36:50,687 --> 00:36:52,995
-I don't know what's wrong.
-Why don't we call Triple A?
762
00:36:53,079 --> 00:36:54,407
Look, there's a restaurant there.
763
00:36:54,491 --> 00:36:58,026
Let's go and wait inside.
Does that say "tapas"?
764
00:36:58,241 --> 00:36:59,382
I love tapas!
765
00:37:00,014 --> 00:37:01,775
That's not what it says, Ma!
766
00:37:08,341 --> 00:37:10,784
This place smells like strawberry gum.
767
00:37:11,114 --> 00:37:12,888
Please don't sit near me.
768
00:37:14,358 --> 00:37:15,495
When I was younger,
769
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:20,063
your father tried to make me go
to one of these places with him.
770
00:37:20,147 --> 00:37:21,588
He thought it would be "sexy."
771
00:37:23,359 --> 00:37:24,880
Yeah. What can I say?
772
00:37:26,377 --> 00:37:27,586
It's not that, is it?
773
00:37:28,695 --> 00:37:31,460
-What? Excuse me? What?
-Your problems with women.
774
00:37:31,544 --> 00:37:34,942
Do you think any of it is sexual?
775
00:37:35,026 --> 00:37:36,777
I actually almost threw up
all over the table
776
00:37:36,861 --> 00:37:37,909
-when you asked me that.
-Stop saying that.
777
00:37:37,993 --> 00:37:39,380
I almost projectile vomited
778
00:37:39,465 --> 00:37:40,511
-all over the bar.
-Oh, please.
779
00:37:40,595 --> 00:37:42,512
You know, come to think of it,
when you were a baby,
780
00:37:42,596 --> 00:37:44,167
about two months old,
781
00:37:45,085 --> 00:37:47,580
your penis started turning purple.
I swear.
782
00:37:47,664 --> 00:37:48,858
-Please stop.
-If I didn't inspect that...
783
00:37:48,942 --> 00:37:51,748
...penis carefully every day,
till you were five.
784
00:37:51,832 --> 00:37:53,412
I'm begging you
to stop talking right now.
785
00:37:53,496 --> 00:37:56,472
You'd tell me if your penis
started turning purple again, right?
786
00:37:56,556 --> 00:37:59,592
My penis could literally grow an eyeball
and I wouldn't tell you about it.
787
00:37:59,676 --> 00:38:00,747
I just worry about you.
788
00:38:00,831 --> 00:38:03,069
-The color of my penis...
-It's not purple.
789
00:38:03,153 --> 00:38:04,604
It's pink. Hi!
790
00:38:05,257 --> 00:38:07,247
-Thank you.
-Thank you, sweetheart.
791
00:38:07,331 --> 00:38:09,236
The roads are pretty awful.
792
00:38:09,659 --> 00:38:11,386
Could take the tow truck quite a while.
793
00:38:12,358 --> 00:38:14,041
Our girl Moonlight's
pretty good with cars.
794
00:38:14,125 --> 00:38:15,872
You want me to ask her to take a look?
795
00:38:16,149 --> 00:38:17,271
Who's Moonlight?
796
00:38:17,906 --> 00:38:19,930
Oh, my gosh, this is
the cutest little thing.
797
00:38:20,266 --> 00:38:22,295
That's very nice of you, Moonlight.
798
00:38:22,686 --> 00:38:24,906
I just wish you were wearing
something warmer.
799
00:38:24,990 --> 00:38:27,181
Oh, that's sweet of you, but I'm fine.
800
00:38:27,482 --> 00:38:30,258
-Put your hood up, honey.
-No. I don't want to.
801
00:38:31,986 --> 00:38:33,090
Here it is.
802
00:38:33,657 --> 00:38:36,417
You got ice frozen up around the tire.
803
00:38:36,501 --> 00:38:39,354
It's blocking the wheel and making it
feel like you got a flat.
804
00:38:39,438 --> 00:38:40,638
-My God!
-You sure about that?
805
00:38:40,722 --> 00:38:41,776
You sure it's not flat?
806
00:38:41,860 --> 00:38:42,986
I'm positive.
807
00:38:44,679 --> 00:38:46,915
Wow! She really is a mechanic!
808
00:38:47,124 --> 00:38:48,625
She really knows what she's doing.
809
00:38:48,751 --> 00:38:50,247
My God, you weren't kidding.
810
00:38:50,627 --> 00:38:51,654
Thank you very much.
811
00:38:51,738 --> 00:38:54,251
Those heels come in handy.
I'm very impressed.
812
00:38:54,783 --> 00:38:57,050
May I interest you in a private dance?
813
00:38:58,378 --> 00:38:59,660
I'd love... Thank you,
814
00:38:59,744 --> 00:39:02,240
but maybe another time
when my mom's not here.
815
00:39:04,310 --> 00:39:06,138
-Great. Thank you.
-Okay.
816
00:39:06,222 --> 00:39:07,340
-Bye!
-God bless, y'all!
817
00:39:07,424 --> 00:39:09,428
-Bye bye! Cover up!
-Oh, thank you, Miss Joyce.
818
00:39:09,512 --> 00:39:12,093
They're saying you shouldn't
get on the highway right now.
819
00:39:12,177 --> 00:39:13,545
Are you staying local?
820
00:39:13,629 --> 00:39:15,979
Yeah, we'll just get
a hotel or something, I guess.
821
00:39:16,063 --> 00:39:18,236
Well, actually,
we don't have to because...
822
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,340
It's gonna be tough finding
a room anywhere in this.
823
00:39:20,424 --> 00:39:22,318
-I bet.
-You got anywhere you can crash?
824
00:39:22,402 --> 00:39:24,553
-Yeah!
-No. We do not.
825
00:39:25,275 --> 00:39:26,623
-We do know somebody.
-We don't.
826
00:39:27,601 --> 00:39:29,122
-Don't you think we...
-No, we don't.
827
00:39:29,329 --> 00:39:31,291
We could call... You know.
828
00:39:31,375 --> 00:39:34,013
Jessica, thanks for picking us up, honey.
829
00:39:34,097 --> 00:39:35,864
Your mother fills me in occasionally.
830
00:39:36,179 --> 00:39:37,289
How have you been, honey?
831
00:39:38,226 --> 00:39:40,396
Well, pregnant, Mrs B.
832
00:39:41,311 --> 00:39:44,925
Yeah, I'm due again in April.
I feel like a house.
833
00:39:45,009 --> 00:39:47,029
Oh, no. Well, you look fantastic!
834
00:39:47,113 --> 00:39:48,197
Yeah. You look very pretty, still.
835
00:39:48,281 --> 00:39:50,074
Oh, well, thank you. I...
836
00:39:50,408 --> 00:39:51,550
I appreciate the lie.
837
00:39:51,634 --> 00:39:53,140
No, not a lie at all.
838
00:39:54,483 --> 00:39:56,448
Honestly, I don't know
how I keep getting pregnant.
839
00:39:56,532 --> 00:39:57,725
I got a theory.
840
00:39:57,809 --> 00:40:00,084
It's called two margaritas
and Love Actually.
841
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:03,074
Every time, right?
842
00:40:05,069 --> 00:40:06,206
Very nice house!
843
00:40:06,290 --> 00:40:08,417
Yeah. Very lovely color. Good paint job.
844
00:40:08,501 --> 00:40:11,560
-New paint job, new fixtures.
-It's very beautifully done.
845
00:40:11,644 --> 00:40:13,441
It's quite a setup you have here.
846
00:40:13,525 --> 00:40:14,979
Well, thanks.
847
00:40:15,063 --> 00:40:15,982
Yeah, we like it.
848
00:40:16,610 --> 00:40:18,932
I think it took a while
for my Jersey girl here
849
00:40:19,016 --> 00:40:21,237
to get adjusted, but I think she digs it.
850
00:40:21,457 --> 00:40:22,579
Yeah, I do.
851
00:40:22,663 --> 00:40:25,715
So, wait. So, Andy, you and Jessica
were high school sweethearts?
852
00:40:25,799 --> 00:40:28,142
Yeah, we dated for a while
in high school. Yeah.
853
00:40:28,559 --> 00:40:30,095
It was great. It was a really fun time.
854
00:40:30,179 --> 00:40:32,648
Oh, wow. Hey, you know,
she talks about you all the time.
855
00:40:33,075 --> 00:40:34,609
Really? That's funny,
856
00:40:34,693 --> 00:40:36,831
because we've been talking
about Jessica a lot.
857
00:40:36,915 --> 00:40:39,912
I don't know if we
talk about her a lot. Have we?
858
00:40:39,996 --> 00:40:42,206
I mean, a normal amount.
859
00:40:42,290 --> 00:40:43,642
She came up several times
in conversation.
860
00:40:43,726 --> 00:40:46,670
-Very casually.
-You see, Jessica,
861
00:40:46,755 --> 00:40:50,822
Andy is still single,
and we were wondering whether...
862
00:40:51,054 --> 00:40:54,095
...your break-up had anything to
do with it. What do you think?
863
00:40:54,179 --> 00:40:57,634
No, yeah, don't be ridiculous.
I mean, we were just kids.
864
00:40:58,026 --> 00:41:00,796
You broke up with me
when we were, what, like, 17?
865
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:01,932
-Eighteen.
-Eighteen.
866
00:41:02,016 --> 00:41:03,183
Wait a minute.
867
00:41:04,272 --> 00:41:05,805
You broke up with her?
868
00:41:06,956 --> 00:41:08,401
Well, technically, I guess.
869
00:41:08,485 --> 00:41:10,290
God! Remember how crazy you were?
870
00:41:10,374 --> 00:41:12,624
I was young and kind of...
871
00:41:12,708 --> 00:41:14,903
You know, I felt a lot. Big feelings.
872
00:41:14,987 --> 00:41:17,102
Mrs B, did you know that
Andy proposed to me
873
00:41:17,186 --> 00:41:18,523
right before we went to college?
874
00:41:18,607 --> 00:41:21,744
It was like a serious
get-on-your-knee kind of proposal
875
00:41:21,828 --> 00:41:23,305
right in the middle of the football field.
876
00:41:23,389 --> 00:41:25,592
It was silly. It was a silly thing to do.
877
00:41:25,676 --> 00:41:28,454
I said we were too young,
obviously, and he ended it,
878
00:41:29,090 --> 00:41:30,206
just like that!
879
00:41:31,661 --> 00:41:32,572
Yeah!
880
00:41:32,656 --> 00:41:34,597
Andy, can you imagine if I'd said yes?
881
00:41:36,782 --> 00:41:37,698
No.
882
00:41:54,417 --> 00:41:57,197
You proposed to her. Andy, that's so...
883
00:41:59,539 --> 00:42:00,662
I wish I knew that.
884
00:42:02,362 --> 00:42:04,913
Well, you do now.
885
00:42:10,004 --> 00:42:11,223
I was just trying to help.
886
00:42:12,996 --> 00:42:13,995
You always are.
887
00:42:16,454 --> 00:42:18,650
Maybe it was healthy to see her. Maybe...
888
00:42:20,252 --> 00:42:22,017
...it'll help you get on with your life.
889
00:42:23,281 --> 00:42:26,584
Or maybe, just once, you could have,
890
00:42:28,011 --> 00:42:30,177
one time, just minded
your own business, Ma.
891
00:42:30,261 --> 00:42:31,591
Maybe that could have happened.
892
00:42:32,808 --> 00:42:34,821
Look, I have Costco today, okay?
893
00:42:35,675 --> 00:42:36,728
I would appreciate it very much
894
00:42:36,812 --> 00:42:39,478
if we could just drive in
silence until we get to Texas.
895
00:42:39,562 --> 00:42:40,689
I would...
896
00:42:41,984 --> 00:42:43,700
I would appreciate that very much.
897
00:43:17,311 --> 00:43:19,077
They're gonna come get me in a second,
898
00:43:19,161 --> 00:43:22,055
so just wait here until I'm
back and don't talk to anyone.
899
00:43:22,598 --> 00:43:24,745
-Can I just say one thing?
-No. You can't.
900
00:43:24,829 --> 00:43:26,832
Andy, I don't think
they're coming to get you.
901
00:43:27,702 --> 00:43:29,076
Why would they not
be coming down to get me?
902
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,711
Because I'm noticing how it's done here.
903
00:43:30,795 --> 00:43:32,180
It's like a different thing. You know?
904
00:43:32,264 --> 00:43:33,978
They come to your table or something.
905
00:43:34,062 --> 00:43:37,712
The people with the red,
they see things on the table.
906
00:43:37,797 --> 00:43:40,025
-You bring your product or something. I...
-Shit!
907
00:43:40,572 --> 00:43:43,135
-Go away. Just leave.
-Where am I gonna meet you?
908
00:43:43,219 --> 00:43:45,517
-Andrew?
-Hi! Hi there!
909
00:43:45,661 --> 00:43:48,689
A pleasure to finally meet you, Andrew.
Ryan McFee.
910
00:43:49,089 --> 00:43:50,476
-Yeah. Great.
-Costco.
911
00:43:51,383 --> 00:43:53,191
This is Joyce. Joyce...
912
00:43:53,774 --> 00:43:56,152
...ton, my... Joyce Joyston.
913
00:43:56,261 --> 00:43:58,171
My business partner.
914
00:43:58,904 --> 00:44:00,278
-Yes!
-I'm his business partner.
915
00:44:00,362 --> 00:44:02,503
-Then you should have a seat.
-Fantastic! Yeah!
916
00:44:02,587 --> 00:44:04,783
-Of course. Have a seat.
-Business partner, sit!
917
00:44:04,867 --> 00:44:06,072
Yes. Why wouldn't you?
918
00:44:06,537 --> 00:44:09,848
So, I would just like
to start by saying how
919
00:44:09,932 --> 00:44:12,595
honored I am that Costco Wholesale
would meet with me.
920
00:44:12,679 --> 00:44:15,044
I know the backing of Costco
921
00:44:15,128 --> 00:44:18,409
could really make a product
into something big.
922
00:44:18,493 --> 00:44:19,849
Well, I'm looking forward
to hearing your pitch.
923
00:44:19,933 --> 00:44:20,781
Thank you.
924
00:44:20,865 --> 00:44:23,678
Now, some history on my product.
925
00:44:23,762 --> 00:44:25,251
-I'm sorry.
-No problem!
926
00:44:25,715 --> 00:44:28,079
-What is that?
-My purse hook.
927
00:44:28,163 --> 00:44:29,122
What does it do?
928
00:44:29,206 --> 00:44:33,146
It just keeps the pocketbook
from touching the dirty floor.
929
00:44:35,962 --> 00:44:38,610
-That is great!
-Yeah, it's really neat.
930
00:44:38,871 --> 00:44:40,633
Where'd you get that, the purse hook?
931
00:44:41,268 --> 00:44:42,468
Amazon, I think.
932
00:44:51,679 --> 00:44:52,699
Go.
933
00:44:53,317 --> 00:44:55,386
No, I am not going. It's rude.
934
00:44:56,483 --> 00:44:57,841
-Go.
-No, it would look bad.
935
00:44:58,048 --> 00:44:59,162
Get out of here!
936
00:44:59,329 --> 00:45:02,064
It's very rude. Extremely rude.
937
00:45:02,414 --> 00:45:03,667
Will you just 90?
938
00:45:03,959 --> 00:45:04,960
Stop that.
939
00:45:05,045 --> 00:45:06,692
Sorry. Please, continue.
940
00:45:07,881 --> 00:45:11,498
I created a micro-emulsion
suspension, Ryan,
941
00:45:11,582 --> 00:45:16,481
that harnesses the natural
cleaning and foaming power of...
942
00:45:17,051 --> 00:45:18,209
...coconut oil,
943
00:45:20,061 --> 00:45:21,224
palm kernel oil...
944
00:45:21,933 --> 00:45:22,888
Oxygen.
945
00:45:23,116 --> 00:45:24,354
And...
946
00:45:25,045 --> 00:45:25,959
...soy!
947
00:45:26,982 --> 00:45:28,666
Or as I like to call it,
948
00:45:29,463 --> 00:45:31,822
-Scieoclean!
-Scieoclean!
949
00:45:32,162 --> 00:45:33,187
Sounds good.
950
00:45:36,324 --> 00:45:37,742
-Scieoclean. Yes.
-Yes.
951
00:45:37,827 --> 00:45:38,966
It took me a second. Sorry.
952
00:45:39,102 --> 00:45:43,594
It read at first like Skyoclean.
Or Psychoclean.
953
00:45:43,678 --> 00:45:44,927
-That's an unusual response.
-Yeah.
954
00:45:45,011 --> 00:45:47,174
Don't get hung up on the name, Ryan.
955
00:45:47,258 --> 00:45:51,786
I mean, because Andrew
was thinking of changing it.
956
00:45:51,870 --> 00:45:52,998
-Oh, that's a good idea.
-Is he?
957
00:45:53,082 --> 00:45:54,518
-It's a good idea.
-Yeah.
958
00:45:54,603 --> 00:45:56,261
-Joyce is right. It's unclear.
-I agree.
959
00:45:56,344 --> 00:45:59,130
Yeah. I wasn't really considering it.
I don't know what...
960
00:45:59,214 --> 00:46:01,026
-We talked about changing it.
-No, we didn't.
961
00:46:01,110 --> 00:46:02,516
-In the hotel.
-I don't remember that.
962
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,175
You said that
the other night at the hotel.
963
00:46:04,259 --> 00:46:05,394
-I did?
-Don't you remember, honey?
964
00:46:05,478 --> 00:46:06,662
-Don't call me "honey."
-Mr Brewster.
965
00:46:06,746 --> 00:46:11,696
Maybe if you simply relabeled
the bottle "Science Clean."
966
00:46:12,485 --> 00:46:13,577
That's a good idea.
967
00:46:13,661 --> 00:46:15,788
I don't actually have any
money to relabel any bottles.
968
00:46:15,872 --> 00:46:18,494
Wait a minute. How much would it cost
to relabel the bottles?
969
00:46:18,578 --> 00:46:20,152
Bulk? A fraction of a cent.
970
00:46:20,237 --> 00:46:22,286
Half a cent!
And you're going to sell bulk.
971
00:46:22,370 --> 00:46:23,394
What's the big deal?
972
00:46:23,478 --> 00:46:24,747
Well, the aggregate amount...
973
00:46:24,831 --> 00:46:26,894
So, listen, Andrew,
when you relabel the bottle...
974
00:46:26,978 --> 00:46:28,006
"When" is a little preemptive.
975
00:46:28,090 --> 00:46:30,388
I don't know if I would jump
to the "when" conclusion.
976
00:46:30,473 --> 00:46:32,877
-Listen to what he's saying.
-When you do, I would change...
977
00:46:32,961 --> 00:46:34,228
-...the whole color scheme.
-I agree.
978
00:46:34,312 --> 00:46:36,362
It should be more, like, magenta.
979
00:46:36,446 --> 00:46:37,665
What's gonna pop? You know?
980
00:46:37,942 --> 00:46:40,869
I would strongly consider
relabeling that bottle.
981
00:46:40,953 --> 00:46:42,501
I know, but I put
a lot of thought into this...
982
00:46:42,585 --> 00:46:44,223
Listen to what the man is saying.
983
00:46:44,307 --> 00:46:45,956
You're going to have
to relabel the bottle.
984
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,061
I'm not changing the goddamn label, Ryan!
985
00:46:53,193 --> 00:46:54,239
Okay.
986
00:47:03,082 --> 00:47:04,969
I know. I shouldn't have said anything.
987
00:47:05,663 --> 00:47:06,816
Yep.
988
00:47:09,432 --> 00:47:11,623
There are many other stores
besides Costco.
989
00:47:13,213 --> 00:47:14,139
Yep.
990
00:47:14,586 --> 00:47:16,801
Think of all the other sales
you already made.
991
00:47:34,894 --> 00:47:36,045
Well, the good news is,
992
00:47:36,129 --> 00:47:38,874
I have got enough hair product
to last me for years.
993
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,555
If you're going to drink all that alcohol,
994
00:47:50,639 --> 00:47:53,056
you should really hydrate.
995
00:48:01,815 --> 00:48:03,712
I don't want to say it again, so...
996
00:48:04,675 --> 00:48:08,243
So, I'll just leave the water bottle here.
997
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,598
I only say that because...
998
00:48:17,466 --> 00:48:20,732
...I read that for every glass
of alcohol that you drink,
999
00:48:20,816 --> 00:48:22,644
you need an extra glass of water...
1000
00:48:22,794 --> 00:48:24,019
Ma. Ma!
76354
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