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1
00:00:02,691 --> 00:00:04,558
Roy, is that what you're eating
for lunch... caramel corn?
2
00:00:04,592 --> 00:00:06,626
- Damn right.
- Well, I thought your cardidiologit
3
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:07,895
told you to eat healthier.
4
00:00:07,930 --> 00:00:08,631
What does he know?
5
00:00:08,665 --> 00:00:10,865
Well, he knows you're a heart
attack waiting to happen.
6
00:00:10,866 --> 00:00:12,399
Give me a break!
This is healthy!
7
00:00:12,434 --> 00:00:15,870
Look...
Corn is a vegetable.
8
00:00:15,904 --> 00:00:19,239
Peanuts... protein.
The caramel's non-fat.
9
00:00:19,274 --> 00:00:21,976
It's basically
a salad in a box.
10
00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:23,911
So what prize did you get?
11
00:00:23,946 --> 00:00:25,780
I got this stupid
plastic spider.
12
00:00:25,814 --> 00:00:28,082
That's a rip! In my day,
you got a real prize!
13
00:00:28,116 --> 00:00:31,052
A little, uh, pinball machine,
a fake tattoo.
14
00:00:31,086 --> 00:00:33,921
- Once I even got a real diamond ring.
- Really?
15
00:00:33,956 --> 00:00:35,255
Well, it was attached
to a finger.
16
00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:37,024
I think it might have been
a factory accident.
17
00:00:38,493 --> 00:00:42,296
Hey, you know who we could
freak out with this, right?
18
00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:44,799
Owen... he's got
terrible arachnophobia.
19
00:00:44,866 --> 00:00:47,702
Oh, we're all afraid of people
from Ahmed's country.
20
00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:52,006
I'm not from Iraq.
I'm from Egypt.
21
00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,274
Sand is sand.
22
00:00:54,342 --> 00:00:56,276
Yeah, this would scare
the crap out of him.
23
00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:57,678
He always falls for this stuff.
24
00:00:57,713 --> 00:00:59,080
Let's put it down his shirt.
25
00:00:59,114 --> 00:01:00,347
- Let's put it in his peanuts.
- Ooh, that's good.
26
00:01:00,381 --> 00:01:01,549
Oh, here he comes.
Here he comes.
27
00:01:01,584 --> 00:01:03,818
Hey, Steve, what do you think?
I'm looking for a job.
28
00:01:04,252 --> 00:01:05,820
And there's something here
for a computer company
29
00:01:05,854 --> 00:01:07,221
that intrigues me.
30
00:01:07,288 --> 00:01:10,457
Now, aside form porn,
what is the Internet?
31
00:01:10,492 --> 00:01:12,392
It's not just for that!
32
00:01:12,427 --> 00:01:14,095
The Internet has changed the world.
33
00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:16,263
It's connected us
with people and places
34
00:01:16,297 --> 00:01:18,699
that were unimaginable before.
35
00:01:18,767 --> 00:01:21,368
Wow, Hank. I didn't realize
you were so Internet-savvy.
36
00:01:21,402 --> 00:01:22,469
Oh, yeah...
That's where I buy and sell
37
00:01:22,504 --> 00:01:24,839
all my Nazi war memorabilia.
38
00:01:26,441 --> 00:01:28,843
What the...?
39
00:01:32,014 --> 00:01:34,115
I told you he'd freak!
40
00:01:34,149 --> 00:01:36,383
- That's not funny, Ahmed!
I hit my head! - So?
41
00:01:36,451 --> 00:01:38,218
My head's different
than everybody else's.
42
00:01:38,286 --> 00:01:39,820
Yeah, it's bigger,
and there's less in it.
43
00:01:41,456 --> 00:01:43,758
No, I have a soft spot
back there.
44
00:01:43,792 --> 00:01:46,160
- You mean like a baby?
- Exactly. I hit my fontanel.
45
00:01:46,194 --> 00:01:48,763
You hit Roy's sister?
46
00:01:50,032 --> 00:01:52,366
- Fontanel...is that
even a real thing? - Yeah.
47
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,168
So the baby's head
can squish down
48
00:01:54,202 --> 00:01:56,336
when you're giving birth.
49
00:01:56,371 --> 00:01:58,039
You got to get
that baby out of there
50
00:01:58,073 --> 00:02:00,007
as quickly as possible.
51
00:02:00,042 --> 00:02:02,176
I was lucky.
52
00:02:02,210 --> 00:02:04,411
You had a tiny little head...
53
00:02:04,445 --> 00:02:08,015
And delicate, little hips.
54
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:10,951
You slipped right out
like a bar of soap.
55
00:02:10,986 --> 00:02:13,154
Thanks for sharing.
56
00:02:13,188 --> 00:02:15,389
If your dad didn't catch you
in his apron,
57
00:02:15,456 --> 00:02:17,925
you would have slipped
right into the jukebox.
58
00:02:20,831 --> 00:02:23,831
sync and corrected by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
59
00:02:23,832 --> 00:02:27,568
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪
60
00:02:27,602 --> 00:02:31,906
♪ da, da da da, da da da ♪
61
00:02:31,940 --> 00:02:35,976
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪
62
00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:41,548
♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪
63
00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:43,984
Steve, I really need your help.
64
00:02:44,019 --> 00:02:45,385
What's up, Carol?
65
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:48,455
I got a call from the IRS,
and they're auditing me.
66
00:02:48,489 --> 00:02:51,192
All right, Carol, don't panic.
Most of these are just routine.
67
00:02:51,226 --> 00:02:53,060
But I work at the DMV!
68
00:02:53,095 --> 00:02:54,328
We're all government workers...
69
00:02:54,362 --> 00:02:56,330
We're supposed to
help each other out.
70
00:02:56,364 --> 00:02:58,032
If an IRS person comes in,
71
00:02:58,066 --> 00:02:59,600
I don't care
if they're legally blind.
72
00:02:59,634 --> 00:03:02,336
I'll give them
a driver's license anyway.
73
00:03:02,370 --> 00:03:05,305
It's not personal, Carol.
It's random.
74
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,908
Oh, you're naive.
75
00:03:07,976 --> 00:03:11,178
The government
has eyes everywhere.
76
00:03:11,246 --> 00:03:14,949
They want to know
all your business.
77
00:03:14,983 --> 00:03:17,184
But I'm smarter than them.
78
00:03:17,252 --> 00:03:19,186
As far as the IRS knows,
79
00:03:19,254 --> 00:03:23,290
Ok Cha Sullivan died in 1979.
80
00:03:25,127 --> 00:03:27,594
Is there, uh, anything about
your return that's unusual?
81
00:03:27,662 --> 00:03:30,464
No...
I report all my income.
82
00:03:30,498 --> 00:03:32,233
I deduct all
the normal things...
83
00:03:32,267 --> 00:03:35,602
Hair, makeup, outfits, shoes.
84
00:03:35,670 --> 00:03:37,037
Why do you deduct those, again?
85
00:03:37,072 --> 00:03:38,605
Because they're expensive.
86
00:03:40,175 --> 00:03:43,210
And people expect a certain
amount of glamour from me.
87
00:03:43,245 --> 00:03:45,212
I'm not sure if you could technically
write off for "glamour."
88
00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:46,346
Oh, great.
89
00:03:46,381 --> 00:03:47,948
The next thing
you're gonna tell me
90
00:03:47,983 --> 00:03:50,317
is I can't claim my son, Owen,
as a dependent.
91
00:03:50,351 --> 00:03:52,486
Well, he is 30.
92
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,488
Oh, no, no.
I don't declare him as my son.
93
00:03:54,522 --> 00:03:55,990
You see, Steve...
94
00:03:56,024 --> 00:03:57,858
And, uh,
don't spread this around
95
00:03:57,926 --> 00:04:00,161
because it would
embarrass Owen terribly...
96
00:04:00,195 --> 00:04:03,998
But he and I,
we have a civil union.
97
00:04:04,032 --> 00:04:07,134
You're married to your son?
98
00:04:07,202 --> 00:04:09,436
Well, I checked the box off
one year by mistake,
99
00:04:09,470 --> 00:04:11,872
and they sent me
this huge refund,
100
00:04:11,907 --> 00:04:13,640
so I've done it ever since.
101
00:04:13,675 --> 00:04:16,543
Seriously,
with that kind of money,
102
00:04:16,577 --> 00:04:20,380
you'd be crazy
not to marry your kids.
103
00:04:20,415 --> 00:04:22,649
I'm thinking this isn't gonna be
as easy as I thought.
104
00:04:22,717 --> 00:04:24,084
Well, what am I gonna do?
105
00:04:24,119 --> 00:04:25,352
Honestly, Carol, I'm a lawyer.
106
00:04:25,386 --> 00:04:26,954
What you need is an accountant.
107
00:04:26,988 --> 00:04:28,422
Oh, why don't you ask Susan?
108
00:04:28,456 --> 00:04:29,690
Why her?
109
00:04:29,724 --> 00:04:31,458
Because your sister
is an accountant.
110
00:04:31,492 --> 00:04:33,527
Oh, right.
She is.
111
00:04:33,561 --> 00:04:36,496
You know, your family doesn't
give Susan enough credit.
112
00:04:36,564 --> 00:04:39,033
Susan was a partner
at a big accounting firm.
113
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,467
She did the books for the bar
114
00:04:40,501 --> 00:04:41,902
back when she was
in high school.
115
00:04:41,937 --> 00:04:43,337
I remember that.
116
00:04:43,371 --> 00:04:44,671
She never went to prom
because of tax season.
117
00:04:44,706 --> 00:04:46,606
Yeah. That's why.
118
00:04:48,343 --> 00:04:51,445
Susan?
119
00:04:51,512 --> 00:04:53,347
I'm in a little trouble
with the IRS,
120
00:04:53,381 --> 00:04:55,582
and I was just wondering
if I could get your help.
121
00:04:55,616 --> 00:04:57,384
Of course, Carol.
122
00:04:57,418 --> 00:04:59,220
Why don't we set up a time
to review your past returns
123
00:04:59,254 --> 00:05:01,222
and any accompanying
documentation you have...
124
00:05:01,256 --> 00:05:02,622
Your long forms, your form C's.
125
00:05:02,657 --> 00:05:04,491
I'll prepare a report,
and I'll accompany you
126
00:05:04,525 --> 00:05:06,727
to your meeting
with the auditor.
127
00:05:08,029 --> 00:05:10,397
Carol?
128
00:05:10,465 --> 00:05:12,166
Sorry.
129
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,701
You know, I didn't realize
that you knew so much.
130
00:05:14,736 --> 00:05:16,370
From listening to your mom,
131
00:05:16,404 --> 00:05:19,106
I just assumed you were
basically institutionalized.
132
00:05:37,558 --> 00:05:39,126
Can I get a beer, please, Steve?
133
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,962
Sure, Owen.
134
00:05:42,030 --> 00:05:45,366
Uh...
It's a protective helmet!
135
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,501
I got a concussion from that
little prank Ahmed played on me,
136
00:05:47,535 --> 00:05:51,205
so I have to wear this
to protect my fontanel.
137
00:05:51,239 --> 00:05:53,207
Go ahead, fellas.
Laugh it up.
138
00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:54,641
Make fun of stupid Owen.
139
00:05:54,675 --> 00:05:58,312
Hey, we're your friends.
We're not gonna make fun of you.
140
00:05:58,346 --> 00:06:00,314
But if the other sperm
come in here looking for you,
141
00:06:00,348 --> 00:06:01,615
where should we tell them you are?
142
00:06:05,787 --> 00:06:08,088
Sorry. I'm sorry.
We're done.
143
00:06:08,123 --> 00:06:09,756
Absolutely.
144
00:06:09,791 --> 00:06:11,392
So, Owen...
145
00:06:11,426 --> 00:06:13,427
What time are you getting
shot out of the Cannon?
146
00:06:13,461 --> 00:06:16,397
Look, I'm done with you guys!
147
00:06:16,464 --> 00:06:18,132
Come on, Owen.
We're just joking around.
148
00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:21,201
Hey, look!
It's a walking tampon!
149
00:06:22,703 --> 00:06:24,704
Why is the joke always on me?!
150
00:06:24,739 --> 00:06:26,173
- 'Cause it's so easy!
- Yeah, but I'm sick of it.
151
00:06:26,207 --> 00:06:28,575
I'm tired of being
everyone's target.
152
00:06:28,609 --> 00:06:30,177
Owen, you want me
to be honest with you?
153
00:06:30,211 --> 00:06:32,279
- You kind of ask for it.
- Do not.
154
00:06:32,347 --> 00:06:33,547
Well, you don't fight
your own battles.
155
00:06:33,614 --> 00:06:35,115
You don't stick up
for yourself.
156
00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:38,052
You're lucky my mom
didn't hear you say that.
157
00:06:38,086 --> 00:06:41,555
Owen, focus for a minute.
158
00:06:41,622 --> 00:06:43,223
Who are you really mad at?
159
00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:46,427
I'm mad at Ahmed for putting
a spider in my peanuts.
160
00:06:46,461 --> 00:06:48,062
Exactly...
So get him back.
161
00:06:48,096 --> 00:06:51,231
But how? He's a powerful
and successful tow-truck driver.
162
00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:54,701
Owen, come on.
You know what to do.
163
00:06:54,769 --> 00:06:56,503
He gives you a wedgie,
you give him a swirly.
164
00:06:56,571 --> 00:06:58,705
He gives you a pink belly,
you give him a titty twister.
165
00:06:58,773 --> 00:07:00,441
That's the Pittsburgh way.
166
00:07:00,475 --> 00:07:02,509
Yeah. I'm from Pittsburgh.
I can do that.
167
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:03,777
Of course you can, Owen.
168
00:07:03,811 --> 00:07:05,545
You're just as smart
as they are.
169
00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:08,282
Just need to put on
your thinking cap.
170
00:07:10,251 --> 00:07:13,354
You're right. I'm sick of being
the butt of everyone's joke.
171
00:07:13,388 --> 00:07:16,623
For once, I just want to
get one over on you guys.
172
00:07:16,657 --> 00:07:19,593
Hey, Owen.
Does that thing vibrate?
173
00:07:21,463 --> 00:07:24,465
Steve, can I plug my phone in?
Can't let it die.
174
00:07:24,499 --> 00:07:27,701
That's the burden of being
a first responder.
175
00:07:27,768 --> 00:07:31,271
Ahmed, tow-truck drivers
are not first responders.
176
00:07:31,306 --> 00:07:32,739
Uh, yeah, we are.
177
00:07:32,773 --> 00:07:34,908
It goes police, fire,
tow truck, coast guard.
178
00:07:36,244 --> 00:07:37,478
I got it.
179
00:07:37,512 --> 00:07:39,480
Roy!
Come here a second!
180
00:07:39,514 --> 00:07:41,315
Melanie, you're a paramedic.
181
00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:43,317
You get me, as a fellow
first responder.
182
00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:46,453
I don't even get you
as a second responder.
183
00:07:46,521 --> 00:07:48,355
You clean up
after everybody's left.
184
00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:50,491
You're like an asphalt bus boy.
185
00:07:53,561 --> 00:07:55,195
Steel town towing.
186
00:07:55,230 --> 00:07:57,231
Yeah.
Sure.
187
00:07:57,298 --> 00:07:59,233
Downtown.
188
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:02,802
The Nigerian ambassador's
limo broke down.
189
00:08:02,837 --> 00:08:06,273
The limo with
all the flags on it.
190
00:08:06,307 --> 00:08:09,776
Got it.
Yeah. I'll be right there.
191
00:08:09,810 --> 00:08:11,245
It is a blessing
192
00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:14,281
that you are coming to get us.
193
00:08:15,816 --> 00:08:18,519
How long? Half-hour? Good, good.
My wives are scared.
194
00:08:18,553 --> 00:08:20,154
And we need you
to come very fast.
195
00:08:20,188 --> 00:08:22,156
We are depending on you
as a first responder.
196
00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:25,625
Praise by Jesus.
Thank you.
197
00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:28,895
Guys, seriously, I thought
you got over prank calls
198
00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:30,397
back in high school.
199
00:08:30,465 --> 00:08:31,798
Yeah, where did you guys
really send Ahmed?
200
00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:33,333
Obama's in town.
201
00:08:33,401 --> 00:08:35,869
Sent him to go tow
the president's limo.
202
00:08:37,705 --> 00:08:39,239
Impressive, Owen...
203
00:08:39,274 --> 00:08:40,774
You've involved
the federal government.
204
00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:43,477
Wait. I-I don't get
why that's funny.
205
00:08:43,511 --> 00:08:45,779
'Cause he's an
arab-American driving a huge tow truck
206
00:08:45,813 --> 00:08:48,348
right at the presidential limousine!
207
00:08:50,452 --> 00:08:53,153
He could be arrested or shot!
208
00:08:53,188 --> 00:08:54,455
That's the joke!
209
00:09:00,455 --> 00:09:02,523
And this is for my nighttime
moisturizing serum
210
00:09:02,590 --> 00:09:05,559
with Alpha-hydroxy acids.
211
00:09:06,393 --> 00:09:09,629
Hey, this doesn't happen
by accident.
212
00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:11,465
You know, I've got to be
honest with you, Carol.
213
00:09:11,499 --> 00:09:13,633
It's gonna be really hard
to convince the auditor
214
00:09:13,668 --> 00:09:16,670
- that these are legitimate
business expenses. - Why?
215
00:09:16,704 --> 00:09:19,473
Because they're not
legitimate business expenses.
216
00:09:19,507 --> 00:09:21,341
That's not the way
I look at it.
217
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:23,477
Susan, have you
noticed something
218
00:09:23,511 --> 00:09:25,144
about people these days?
219
00:09:25,179 --> 00:09:28,014
They walk around
in their awful t-shirts
220
00:09:28,048 --> 00:09:29,282
and their dirty jeans.
221
00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:31,518
Everything is so drab.
222
00:09:31,552 --> 00:09:35,689
There's no pizzazz,
no glamour, no allure.
223
00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:38,324
That's where I come in.
224
00:09:38,392 --> 00:09:40,760
Work at the DMV ends
at 5:00,
225
00:09:40,795 --> 00:09:44,263
so I clear out by 3:30.
226
00:09:44,298 --> 00:09:47,968
I head straight home.
I take a long bath.
227
00:09:48,035 --> 00:09:50,236
I lay out that night's outfit.
228
00:09:50,270 --> 00:09:55,041
I choose my powder and my scent,
and I bring it all together.
229
00:09:55,075 --> 00:09:58,311
I sit in this bar, and I glow.
230
00:09:58,345 --> 00:10:03,249
I give people something sensual
and radiant to look at.
231
00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:05,585
And often I get laid.
232
00:10:07,254 --> 00:10:09,222
But that's not why I do it.
233
00:10:09,256 --> 00:10:11,457
All right, that's one of
the reasons why I do it.
234
00:10:11,492 --> 00:10:13,092
But the main reason
235
00:10:13,127 --> 00:10:15,629
is that people need beauty
in their lives.
236
00:10:15,663 --> 00:10:18,364
And I'm here
to bring it to them.
237
00:10:18,399 --> 00:10:21,100
I don't think the IRS
is gonna see it that way.
238
00:10:21,135 --> 00:10:22,502
I'm sorry, Carol.
239
00:10:22,537 --> 00:10:24,370
I think you're gonna owe
a lot of money.
240
00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:27,240
Oh, this is terrible.
I don't have any money.
241
00:10:27,274 --> 00:10:31,645
What am I gonna do now,
divorce my son?
242
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,513
Look, Carol, in my experience,
243
00:10:33,548 --> 00:10:35,348
a lot of these audits come
down to the relationship
244
00:10:35,382 --> 00:10:37,250
between the accountant
and the auditor.
245
00:10:37,284 --> 00:10:40,086
So, we'll just go down
and talk to James Franklin
246
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:41,220
and hope for the best.
247
00:10:41,288 --> 00:10:43,189
James Franklin?
248
00:10:43,223 --> 00:10:44,223
Yeah, do you know him?
249
00:10:44,258 --> 00:10:47,561
I know he's a man.
250
00:10:47,595 --> 00:10:49,328
Honey, we've got no problem.
251
00:10:49,363 --> 00:10:51,565
- What do you mean?
- He's a man.
252
00:10:51,599 --> 00:10:53,567
I can get him to do
anything I want.
253
00:10:53,601 --> 00:10:55,334
That's my superpower.
254
00:10:55,369 --> 00:10:56,703
I don't think
that's a superpower.
255
00:10:56,771 --> 00:10:58,137
Honey, trust me.
256
00:10:58,172 --> 00:10:59,806
It's a superpower.
257
00:10:59,874 --> 00:11:04,110
It's right up there with flying
and squirting spider webs.
258
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:07,080
Ok Cha, tell your daughter
what my superpower is.
259
00:11:07,114 --> 00:11:09,082
You're a big slut.
260
00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:15,088
Boy, Ahmed's been gone forever.
261
00:11:15,122 --> 00:11:17,624
This is going better than I
could have ever dreamed.
262
00:11:17,658 --> 00:11:20,159
Well, for your sake,
I hope it turns out okay.
263
00:11:20,194 --> 00:11:21,628
Hey, he started it.
264
00:11:21,662 --> 00:11:24,130
Dad, I'm sure Ahmed's
laughing about it right now.
265
00:11:28,235 --> 00:11:30,203
Hey, Ahmed.
What happened?
266
00:11:30,237 --> 00:11:32,672
That wasn't the Nigerian
ambassador on the phone.
267
00:11:32,707 --> 00:11:36,542
Somebody here sent me
to tow the president's limo.
268
00:11:36,577 --> 00:11:41,280
Gotcha!
Boom!
269
00:11:41,315 --> 00:11:42,782
Yeah... thanks, Owen.
270
00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:45,151
Homeland Security
thought I was a terrorist.
271
00:11:45,185 --> 00:11:48,387
Well, if it walks like a duck
and it talks like a duck...
272
00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:52,692
They threw me in a room.
They interrogated me for hours.
273
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,260
They strip-searched me.
274
00:11:54,294 --> 00:11:55,829
Hey, that's the Pittsburgh way.
275
00:11:57,297 --> 00:11:59,499
Owen, I was anally probed!
276
00:11:59,533 --> 00:12:00,767
Did they find anything?
277
00:12:02,302 --> 00:12:03,670
You guys have no idea
278
00:12:03,704 --> 00:12:05,138
what it's like to be
Arab-American.
279
00:12:05,172 --> 00:12:06,506
People take one look at you,
280
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:08,407
and they just think
you're carrying a bomb.
281
00:12:08,442 --> 00:12:11,144
Ahmed, y-you're right.
That's terrible.
282
00:12:11,178 --> 00:12:13,179
This got way out of hand.
283
00:12:13,213 --> 00:12:14,848
Owen, you wanted to get one
of the guys, and you did it,
284
00:12:14,882 --> 00:12:16,482
but I think you went
a little too far.
285
00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:20,353
So just apologize to Ahmed
and be done with it.
286
00:12:20,387 --> 00:12:21,721
Wait, what?
287
00:12:21,756 --> 00:12:23,623
The one time I get
one of you guys back,
288
00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:25,324
I have to apologize?
289
00:12:25,392 --> 00:12:26,726
I'll apologize to his butt
290
00:12:26,761 --> 00:12:28,862
when he apologizes
for my brain.
291
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:32,165
They took my buttginity.
292
00:12:34,234 --> 00:12:37,470
They took Roy's grandmother?
293
00:12:37,504 --> 00:12:40,740
You guys need to grow up and
stop with this pranking crap.
294
00:12:40,775 --> 00:12:42,809
You're all a bunch
of man-babies.
295
00:12:42,877 --> 00:12:45,178
- Why, when I was your age, I had
already fought in a war. - Me, too.
296
00:12:45,245 --> 00:12:47,180
- I had two kids.
- Me, too.
297
00:12:47,247 --> 00:12:48,614
- I had a mortgage.
- Me, too!
298
00:12:48,649 --> 00:12:50,884
And I didn't sit around in
a bar drinking all day.
299
00:12:50,918 --> 00:12:53,753
Here's where we part ways.
300
00:12:53,821 --> 00:12:55,655
You know what this is about?
301
00:12:55,690 --> 00:12:57,190
This is about the fact
that, for once,
302
00:12:57,224 --> 00:12:59,358
Owen Walsh got
one of you guys back.
303
00:12:59,393 --> 00:13:02,461
And you know what, Ahmed?
You can't take it.
304
00:13:02,496 --> 00:13:03,863
Oh, I can take it.
305
00:13:03,898 --> 00:13:06,232
I took it in the basement
of the federal building.
306
00:13:06,266 --> 00:13:08,601
And I took it in my own,
personal basement.
307
00:13:08,635 --> 00:13:11,571
Hey, hey.
Drop it.
308
00:13:11,605 --> 00:13:13,873
Look, if anything,
you both should be mad at Roy.
309
00:13:13,908 --> 00:13:16,475
It was Roy with the spider.
It was Roy on the phone.
310
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:18,178
So, let's just shut it down.
311
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:21,581
Oh, no. This isn't over.
I'm just getting started.
312
00:13:21,615 --> 00:13:25,351
And no one in the bar is safe.
313
00:13:25,385 --> 00:13:27,821
I won't forget this.
You're dead.
314
00:13:27,855 --> 00:13:30,857
I'm not afraid of you.
315
00:13:30,891 --> 00:13:32,458
I'm not afraid of him.
316
00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:35,261
Oh, give Ahmed some time.
He'll get over it.
317
00:13:35,295 --> 00:13:37,496
Oh, yeah, his people
are known for that.
318
00:13:47,741 --> 00:13:49,675
I've looked through
your tax returns
319
00:13:49,743 --> 00:13:51,610
and your supporting
legal documents,
320
00:13:51,645 --> 00:13:53,712
and I fail to understand
how all these beauty products
321
00:13:53,780 --> 00:13:55,848
constitute allowable
tax deductions.
322
00:13:55,882 --> 00:13:58,017
Well, as my client says
in her letter,
323
00:13:58,051 --> 00:14:00,019
one of the requirements
of her public persona
324
00:14:00,053 --> 00:14:01,820
is to maintain
a glamorous and...
325
00:14:01,855 --> 00:14:03,155
Alluring.
326
00:14:03,189 --> 00:14:05,157
Alluring appearance,
as well as to...
327
00:14:05,191 --> 00:14:07,159
Radiate sex appeal.
328
00:14:07,193 --> 00:14:09,161
Well, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to disallow
329
00:14:09,195 --> 00:14:10,963
all these deductions.
330
00:14:10,997 --> 00:14:13,866
Which means that you are
gonna owe the government...
331
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:18,003
Now would be
a good time to use your superpower.
332
00:14:18,038 --> 00:14:20,773
Mr. Franklin.
333
00:14:22,241 --> 00:14:23,909
Mr. Franklin.
334
00:14:25,545 --> 00:14:27,146
Mr. Franklin,
look at me.
335
00:14:28,514 --> 00:14:31,550
Hello there, James.
336
00:14:31,584 --> 00:14:33,752
Hello there.
337
00:14:33,787 --> 00:14:36,488
Do you know what I do, James?
338
00:14:36,522 --> 00:14:38,623
I love.
339
00:14:38,658 --> 00:14:41,459
That's why I was
put on this earth...
340
00:14:41,527 --> 00:14:44,863
to give and receive
341
00:14:44,898 --> 00:14:48,767
deep and lasting pleasure.
342
00:14:55,208 --> 00:14:57,642
Wait.
What am I doing?
343
00:14:57,677 --> 00:14:59,511
You're about to ask me
out to dinner.
344
00:14:59,579 --> 00:15:00,879
Will you go out
to dinner with me?
345
00:15:00,914 --> 00:15:03,048
Of course I will, James.
346
00:15:04,884 --> 00:15:08,821
Oh. Well, I guess I'll see you
tonight at 6:30.
347
00:15:08,888 --> 00:15:11,690
Don't be late. I won't.
I'm leaving right now.
348
00:15:13,559 --> 00:15:16,228
Carol, that was awesome!
349
00:15:16,262 --> 00:15:17,730
Well, it was okay.
350
00:15:17,797 --> 00:15:21,499
Usually I get them
to give me their car.
351
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:24,069
Hi.
I'm Mrs. Deitmuller.
352
00:15:25,739 --> 00:15:27,572
Where's James?
353
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:28,974
He just walked straight
out of the building.
354
00:15:29,008 --> 00:15:31,143
I'll be your new auditor.
355
00:15:31,177 --> 00:15:33,912
Let me just finish
totaling up what you owe.
356
00:15:42,155 --> 00:15:45,023
Mrs. Deitmuller.
357
00:15:45,058 --> 00:15:47,025
Mrs. Deitmuller.
358
00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:50,295
Mrs. Deitmuller,
look at me.
359
00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:54,133
Do you know why
I was put on earth?
360
00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:55,667
Don't give a shit.
361
00:16:00,206 --> 00:16:03,041
bottom of the ninth,
bases loaded, two outs.
362
00:16:03,076 --> 00:16:04,309
And it's a strike.
363
00:16:05,311 --> 00:16:06,711
Why didn't he swing?
364
00:16:06,746 --> 00:16:08,947
That was right down the middle.
365
00:16:08,982 --> 00:16:11,583
How did you get to be
such a big baseball fan?
366
00:16:11,617 --> 00:16:14,920
Oh, everybody plays
baseball in South Korea.
367
00:16:14,954 --> 00:16:16,321
But nobody hits a home run
368
00:16:16,355 --> 00:16:18,323
because it goes
into north Korea,
369
00:16:18,357 --> 00:16:20,893
and you never
get the ball back.
370
00:16:22,295 --> 00:16:25,130
Let's go! Yeah! Yeah!
371
00:16:25,165 --> 00:16:27,699
Ah! The satellite's out!
You got to be kidding me.
372
00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:30,002
- Owen, it's your turn to go up on the
- On it.
373
00:16:30,036 --> 00:16:31,736
And while you're up there,
374
00:16:31,771 --> 00:16:35,174
jiggle me some
free "Game of Thrones."
375
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:36,641
Did you do it?
376
00:16:36,676 --> 00:16:38,043
Oh, yeah.
Did it this morning.
377
00:16:38,077 --> 00:16:39,311
I put the spider
right on the dish.
378
00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:40,813
Awesome.
379
00:16:40,847 --> 00:16:41,980
Owen's gonna climb
all the way to the roof,
380
00:16:42,048 --> 00:16:43,782
see the spider, and freak.
381
00:16:43,850 --> 00:16:45,217
Yeah, you're finally
gonna get him back.
382
00:16:45,251 --> 00:16:46,985
Aah! Spider!
383
00:16:51,891 --> 00:16:53,091
Oh, my God!
384
00:16:53,159 --> 00:16:54,126
Owen!
Is he okay?
385
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,593
He's not breathing.
386
00:16:55,628 --> 00:16:56,695
Come on, buddy.
Come on.
387
00:16:56,729 --> 00:16:58,130
This isn't happening.
388
00:16:58,164 --> 00:16:59,932
You couldn't stop!
You had to do one more!
389
00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:01,934
You happy now?
390
00:17:01,968 --> 00:17:04,303
I can't believe
I'm saying this.
391
00:17:04,337 --> 00:17:06,905
He's gone.
392
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:12,577
Oh, my God.
Owen.
393
00:17:12,611 --> 00:17:14,146
I should have never
put that spider up there.
394
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:15,613
This is my fault.
395
00:17:18,218 --> 00:17:21,119
I'm sorry, buddy.
396
00:17:21,154 --> 00:17:24,156
Aah!
Aah!
397
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,892
Gotcha!
398
00:17:26,926 --> 00:17:28,260
I got you, finally!
399
00:17:28,328 --> 00:17:29,995
Owen Walsh, master prankster.
400
00:17:30,029 --> 00:17:31,129
Thanks for the assist, Ahmed.
401
00:17:31,164 --> 00:17:32,297
It was my pleasure.
402
00:17:32,365 --> 00:17:35,033
Just a little
short of breath here.
403
00:17:35,101 --> 00:17:38,303
S-so you two aren't mad
at each other anymore?
404
00:17:38,371 --> 00:17:41,173
No, we got over it
by getting you.
405
00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:42,875
So you were all in on this?
406
00:17:42,942 --> 00:17:45,911
Well, mostly I'm against
this kind of jackass stuff.
407
00:17:45,945 --> 00:17:48,413
But, uh, you should have
seen your face!
408
00:17:50,816 --> 00:17:53,185
So what flew by the window?
Oh, CPR dummy.
409
00:17:53,219 --> 00:17:54,953
Thanks for that
mouth-to-mouth, by the way.
410
00:17:54,988 --> 00:17:57,990
Yeah, next time,
lay off the tongue.
411
00:17:58,057 --> 00:18:00,092
Got to admit, Roy,
that was pretty funny.
412
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:02,327
Not really. I'm starting to feel
a little bad here, Steve.
413
00:18:02,362 --> 00:18:04,196
My... my arm's tingling.
414
00:18:04,264 --> 00:18:06,664
Feels like an elephant's
sitting on my chest.
415
00:18:06,699 --> 00:18:07,933
Seriously?
416
00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:09,067
You're gonna pull
a fake death prank
417
00:18:09,102 --> 00:18:10,936
after a fake death prank?
418
00:18:11,004 --> 00:18:13,671
You're better than that, Roy.
419
00:18:13,739 --> 00:18:15,807
Guys, I'm serious.
420
00:18:15,841 --> 00:18:18,343
It's starting to hurt here.
421
00:18:18,378 --> 00:18:21,846
Guys?
Guys?
422
00:18:21,881 --> 00:18:24,016
Call 911.
423
00:18:28,054 --> 00:18:29,854
Yeah, it was a heart attack.
424
00:18:29,889 --> 00:18:32,391
It was a mild one,
but it was real.
425
00:18:32,425 --> 00:18:34,059
Thank God for the defibrillator.
426
00:18:34,093 --> 00:18:35,693
Your uncle was there?
427
00:18:37,363 --> 00:18:39,998
Hank, cut it out.
His uncle's name's not defibrillator.
428
00:18:40,033 --> 00:18:41,266
Actually, it is.
429
00:18:43,036 --> 00:18:46,405
See? Those people
don't have normal names.
430
00:18:48,207 --> 00:18:49,308
So we've pranked
the whole body...
431
00:18:49,342 --> 00:18:51,410
The ass, the head, the heart.
432
00:18:51,477 --> 00:18:52,777
Are we done now?
433
00:18:52,812 --> 00:18:54,446
Yeah.
434
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,715
I was thinking about that
as I was headed to the light,
435
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,918
towards my grandma
and Michael Jackson.
436
00:18:59,953 --> 00:19:03,255
And I thought about you, Owen,
and you're right.
437
00:19:03,323 --> 00:19:05,757
We always did make you
the butt of the jokes,
438
00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:07,259
and I'm sorry for that, man.
439
00:19:07,327 --> 00:19:09,394
So I'm glad you got me.
I'm glad you got me good.
440
00:19:09,429 --> 00:19:11,229
And I'm glad I'm still alive.
441
00:19:11,264 --> 00:19:12,730
Thanks, man.
442
00:19:12,798 --> 00:19:14,732
I'm glad you're still alive, too.
443
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,001
See? This is nice.
444
00:19:16,035 --> 00:19:18,470
Everybody's friends,
no more pranks.
445
00:19:18,504 --> 00:19:20,038
Just sitting, hanging,
drinking beer.
446
00:19:20,106 --> 00:19:22,907
Speaking of which,
round on me, Steve.
447
00:19:22,942 --> 00:19:24,476
Coming up.
448
00:19:31,884 --> 00:19:33,285
And the winner
of the wet-t-shirt contest...
449
00:19:33,319 --> 00:19:35,487
Miss Steve Sullivan!
450
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:36,955
Okay, okay.
Good one. Good one.
451
00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,957
You got me.
Are the pranks done now?
452
00:19:38,992 --> 00:19:41,059
Yeah.
Yeah. They're done.
453
00:19:41,094 --> 00:19:43,895
Ugh.
454
00:19:43,929 --> 00:19:45,497
Good.
455
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,382
Hey, Carol. I just got
a call from the IRS.
456
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,018
Your audit is complete,
and you owe nothing.
457
00:20:04,053 --> 00:20:05,286
Isn't that amazing?
458
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,122
Well, I kind of knew
I was going to skate.
459
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:10,024
How?
When we left that office,
460
00:20:10,059 --> 00:20:12,794
Mrs. Deitmuller seemed like
she had made up her mind.
461
00:20:12,828 --> 00:20:14,361
Yes, but then
I called her later,
462
00:20:14,396 --> 00:20:16,798
and we met for coffee, and...
463
00:20:16,832 --> 00:20:18,933
Things went from there.
464
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,802
Wait a minute...
465
00:20:20,836 --> 00:20:23,170
You have a superpower
with women too?
466
00:20:23,205 --> 00:20:24,839
Well, yes.
467
00:20:24,873 --> 00:20:28,977
I discovered it a few years ago
at a Subaru dealership.
468
00:20:30,045 --> 00:20:32,279
But that's not what happened.
469
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,115
I asked her about herself,
470
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:35,516
and it turns out
she was lonely.
471
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:37,518
So I gave her a few tips.
472
00:20:37,552 --> 00:20:41,222
There's beauty in there.
It just needed to blossom.
473
00:20:41,256 --> 00:20:43,257
And she's a quick learner...
Watch.
474
00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:57,471
Look at me.
475
00:20:57,472 --> 00:21:00,472
sync and corrected by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
1
00:00:02,532 --> 00:00:04,600
Is it karaoke contest time?
2
00:00:04,634 --> 00:00:05,835
That's right.
3
00:00:05,869 --> 00:00:07,470
And we've got
a brand-new machine.
4
00:00:07,504 --> 00:00:10,573
What's the point?
Every contest we enter, we lose.
5
00:00:10,607 --> 00:00:12,641
Okay, we lost the darts contest
6
00:00:12,676 --> 00:00:14,443
to the yuppies from Shadyside.
7
00:00:14,478 --> 00:00:15,745
How they threw so well
8
00:00:15,779 --> 00:00:17,480
with sweaters tied
around their necks,
9
00:00:17,514 --> 00:00:18,647
I'll never know.
10
00:00:18,682 --> 00:00:20,082
We also lost
the 8-ball contest.
11
00:00:20,116 --> 00:00:21,550
That one hurt.
12
00:00:21,585 --> 00:00:22,752
That was to the hipsters
in Lawrenceville,
13
00:00:22,786 --> 00:00:24,052
and I hate hipsters.
14
00:00:24,087 --> 00:00:27,923
And I don't appreciate
#weownthenight.
15
00:00:27,957 --> 00:00:29,592
Sullivan & Son
is not gonna lose
16
00:00:29,626 --> 00:00:30,893
every bar contest
in Pittsburgh...
17
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,327
Not on my watch.
18
00:00:32,362 --> 00:00:33,629
Actually, dad, it's watch.
19
00:00:33,697 --> 00:00:35,464
Then why aren't you
as pissed as I am?
20
00:00:35,532 --> 00:00:36,999
The other bars
are kicking our ass!
21
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:38,734
I'd like to win
one of these contests.
22
00:00:38,802 --> 00:00:40,736
For once, for us...
23
00:00:40,804 --> 00:00:42,872
For Sullivan & Son
to take home a trophy.
24
00:00:42,906 --> 00:00:45,107
Steve?
25
00:00:45,174 --> 00:00:46,542
Owen and I are ready.
26
00:00:46,576 --> 00:00:47,976
We're gonna win this contest.
27
00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:49,645
We've been rehearsing
for months.
28
00:00:49,679 --> 00:00:51,781
We just can't decide
which number to do together.
29
00:00:51,815 --> 00:00:53,949
Right. Mom wants to do
"I touch myself."
30
00:00:53,983 --> 00:00:56,585
I think we should do
"I want your sex."
31
00:00:57,687 --> 00:00:59,354
Okay, we all agree you two
32
00:00:59,423 --> 00:01:00,756
are the best singers we've got.
33
00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:02,425
I sense a "but" coming.
34
00:01:02,459 --> 00:01:04,760
But when you sing dirty
songs to each other
35
00:01:04,795 --> 00:01:06,896
and people find out
you're mother and son,
36
00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:09,465
they throw up,
and then we lose.
37
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:12,034
Excuse me?
38
00:01:12,068 --> 00:01:14,637
Look, the songs you sing
are inappropriate
39
00:01:14,671 --> 00:01:16,004
for a mother and son
to sing together.
40
00:01:16,039 --> 00:01:18,173
Th-they're just too
graphic and sexual.
41
00:01:18,207 --> 00:01:21,877
Oh, that again?
42
00:01:21,912 --> 00:01:23,178
Relax, Steve.
43
00:01:23,212 --> 00:01:26,081
We have a backup song
that's really tame.
44
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:35,558
♪ When I came home last night ♪
45
00:01:35,592 --> 00:01:38,093
♪ you wouldn't
make love to me ♪
46
00:01:38,127 --> 00:01:40,863
♪ you went fast asleep ♪
47
00:01:40,897 --> 00:01:44,533
♪ you wouldn't even talk to me ♪
48
00:01:44,568 --> 00:01:46,702
♪ give it to me, baby ♪
♪ give it to me, baby ♪
49
00:01:46,736 --> 00:01:48,136
♪ make it hot like
you've had enough♪
50
00:01:48,171 --> 00:01:49,772
♪ give it to me, give it to me ♪
51
00:01:49,806 --> 00:01:51,807
♪ give it to me, give it
to me, give it to me♪
52
00:01:51,842 --> 00:01:53,576
Whoa! Stop! Stop!
53
00:01:56,112 --> 00:02:00,616
Did anybody else's boys
just retract?
54
00:02:01,453 --> 00:02:04,753
Sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
55
00:02:04,754 --> 00:02:08,591
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪
56
00:02:08,625 --> 00:02:12,761
♪ da, da da da, da da da ♪
57
00:02:12,796 --> 00:02:16,832
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪
58
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:22,605
♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪
59
00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:24,974
Hey! Not so fast!
60
00:02:25,008 --> 00:02:28,110
Time to pay
your bar tab, ladies.
61
00:02:28,144 --> 00:02:29,745
Come on.
62
00:02:29,779 --> 00:02:31,547
For as much money
as we spend here,
63
00:02:31,581 --> 00:02:33,582
maybe once in a while we could
get something for free.
64
00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:37,152
Hey! Don't you use
the f-word in here.
65
00:02:38,522 --> 00:02:40,255
Steve, doesn't your mom
ever loosen up?
66
00:02:40,289 --> 00:02:43,726
Well, legend has it,
there was one time.
67
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,628
It was the bar's
20th anniversary.
68
00:02:45,695 --> 00:02:47,596
My mom had
two sips of champagne,
69
00:02:47,631 --> 00:02:50,699
got all giddy, ripped up
everybody's bar tabs.
70
00:02:50,734 --> 00:02:52,134
So, that's all we have to do?
71
00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:55,671
Get her drunk,
and it's bye-bye, bar tab.
72
00:02:56,706 --> 00:02:58,040
So the legend goes.
73
00:02:58,107 --> 00:02:59,241
Of course, all the witnesses
74
00:02:59,275 --> 00:03:02,144
have since mysteriously
disappeared.
75
00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:05,781
I'm kidding.
76
00:03:05,815 --> 00:03:07,783
I'm not kidding.
77
00:03:09,152 --> 00:03:11,119
Check one, check one.
78
00:03:11,154 --> 00:03:12,555
Dad, what are you doing?
79
00:03:12,589 --> 00:03:13,889
You know and I know
80
00:03:13,957 --> 00:03:15,891
that Owen and Carol
are gonna sing some song
81
00:03:15,959 --> 00:03:18,226
that's wildly inappropriate
for a mother and son.
82
00:03:18,261 --> 00:03:21,063
Now, someone else in this bar
has got to have a good voice.
83
00:03:21,097 --> 00:03:22,698
I'm holding auditions.
84
00:03:22,732 --> 00:03:23,666
Who's next?
85
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,769
I am!
86
00:03:28,805 --> 00:03:31,907
♪ Here in my car,
I feel safest of all ♪
87
00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,742
♪ I can lock all my doors ♪
88
00:03:33,777 --> 00:03:35,644
♪ it's the only way to live ♪
89
00:03:35,679 --> 00:03:36,812
♪ in cars ♪
90
00:03:36,846 --> 00:03:39,048
♪ ba-dum, ba-dum ♪
91
00:03:39,115 --> 00:03:42,651
♪ here in my car,
I can only receive ♪
92
00:03:42,686 --> 00:03:44,186
♪ I can listen to you ♪
93
00:03:44,253 --> 00:03:46,055
♪ it keeps me stable for days ♪
94
00:03:46,089 --> 00:03:47,756
♪ in cars ♪
95
00:03:47,791 --> 00:03:49,224
♪ ba-dum, ba-dum ♪
96
00:03:49,258 --> 00:03:50,993
Thank you, Hank!
97
00:03:51,027 --> 00:03:52,127
We'll let you know!
98
00:03:52,161 --> 00:03:54,529
Nailed it!
99
00:03:54,598 --> 00:03:58,200
Uh, I'd like to mention
that if I'm chosen,
100
00:03:58,267 --> 00:03:59,768
during the performance,
101
00:03:59,803 --> 00:04:03,072
I will do a robot dance
for added pizzazz.
102
00:04:03,106 --> 00:04:04,840
Next.
103
00:04:07,276 --> 00:04:09,311
♪Are you going ♪
104
00:04:09,378 --> 00:04:14,950
♪ to Scar... Scarborough fair? ♪
105
00:04:15,018 --> 00:04:20,222
♪ parsley, sage,
rosemary, and thyme ♪
106
00:04:21,858 --> 00:04:23,993
I remember the fair.
107
00:04:24,027 --> 00:04:26,829
Daddy would take me there.
108
00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:29,999
We would get lost
in a corn maze.
109
00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:31,299
Boring!
110
00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:33,736
Thank you, dear.
111
00:04:33,803 --> 00:04:35,337
I-I'm actually
really good.
112
00:04:35,371 --> 00:04:36,972
I-I trained in opera.
113
00:04:37,007 --> 00:04:38,607
I'm just not good at singing
in front of people.
114
00:04:38,642 --> 00:04:40,009
Then why don't you
go home and practice
115
00:04:40,043 --> 00:04:43,145
in front of your stuffed
animals and come back?
116
00:04:43,179 --> 00:04:45,714
Jack, we've come up
with a number
117
00:04:45,749 --> 00:04:47,249
that's gonna make
everybody happy.
118
00:04:47,316 --> 00:04:49,217
It's totally G-rated.
119
00:04:51,888 --> 00:04:58,127
♪ Row, row, row your boat,
gently down the stream ♪
120
00:04:58,161 --> 00:05:01,163
♪ merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily, ♪
121
00:05:01,197 --> 00:05:03,032
♪ life is but a dream ♪
122
00:05:03,066 --> 00:05:04,133
Row that boat!
123
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,001
Oh, yeah!
124
00:05:06,069 --> 00:05:08,070
Unh! Yeah!
125
00:05:08,104 --> 00:05:10,139
Guys! Guys!
126
00:05:10,173 --> 00:05:11,740
What? What? What?
127
00:05:11,775 --> 00:05:12,875
What is that?
128
00:05:12,909 --> 00:05:15,277
It's called the tush push.
129
00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:18,881
- Let's show them the "groin join".
- Oh, that's a good one.
130
00:05:18,915 --> 00:05:20,149
Okay, stop it!
131
00:05:26,751 --> 00:05:29,884
- So, dad, how'd the rest of the
auditions turned out? - Terrible
132
00:05:29,918 --> 00:05:31,953
A dozen auditions,
Melanie was the best.
133
00:05:31,987 --> 00:05:33,187
What does that tell you?
134
00:05:33,222 --> 00:05:35,790
It tells me that my
feelings don't count!
135
00:05:35,824 --> 00:05:37,392
I'm sorry, Hank.
136
00:05:37,426 --> 00:05:39,193
It just wasn't your year.
137
00:05:39,228 --> 00:05:40,828
Bullshit!
It is my year!
138
00:05:41,997 --> 00:05:43,931
I'm a superstar!
139
00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:50,171
Who's the hottie at 10:00?
140
00:05:50,205 --> 00:05:52,741
I'm on it, mom.
141
00:05:52,775 --> 00:05:53,875
Hey.
142
00:05:53,942 --> 00:05:55,243
You come here often?
143
00:05:55,278 --> 00:05:57,845
Uh, no... actually,
it's my first time here.
144
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,147
Can I get you a drink?
145
00:05:59,181 --> 00:06:01,650
Ah, I think I'm giving you
the wrong impression.
146
00:06:01,684 --> 00:06:04,352
Uh, I'm straight.
147
00:06:04,387 --> 00:06:07,155
Knew I couldn't
pull off a v-neck.
148
00:06:07,189 --> 00:06:08,790
I'm straight, too,
149
00:06:08,824 --> 00:06:10,425
and you are totally
pulling off that v-neck.
150
00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:12,360
In fact, there's a lady back there
151
00:06:12,395 --> 00:06:15,129
that wants to pull
that v-neck off you.
152
00:06:15,164 --> 00:06:16,798
She's gorgeous.
153
00:06:16,832 --> 00:06:19,467
That's my mom.
She's pretty bang-tastic, huh?
154
00:06:19,502 --> 00:06:24,238
Are you, uh,
advertising your mother?
155
00:06:24,273 --> 00:06:25,373
Yeah, but it goes both ways.
156
00:06:25,408 --> 00:06:27,776
I scope wang, she scopes tang.
157
00:06:32,881 --> 00:06:35,983
Hi, I, uh...
I was talking to your son.
158
00:06:36,051 --> 00:06:37,752
A little weird.
159
00:06:37,787 --> 00:06:41,356
But, uh, he only had
nice things to say about you.
160
00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:45,760
Well, let me tell you about
the really naughty things.
161
00:06:49,998 --> 00:06:52,166
Hey, can I get a...
162
00:06:53,436 --> 00:06:55,737
...Glass of water?
163
00:06:55,771 --> 00:06:59,841
There's a puddle out front.
Go to town.
164
00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,877
Let's just man up,
bite the bullet,
165
00:07:02,911 --> 00:07:04,245
find some money,
and pay our tabs.
166
00:07:04,313 --> 00:07:05,714
This is what we owe her.
167
00:07:05,781 --> 00:07:07,248
How about we hit her
with a boot Jack,
168
00:07:07,282 --> 00:07:09,718
throw her in the trunk,
and dump her by the oil rigs?
169
00:07:09,785 --> 00:07:12,253
Or we could just
get Ok Cha drunk.
170
00:07:12,287 --> 00:07:14,956
Forget it.
My mom doesn't drink.
171
00:07:14,990 --> 00:07:16,190
Why don't we spike her tea?
172
00:07:16,225 --> 00:07:17,124
She'd taste that.
173
00:07:17,159 --> 00:07:18,893
What about kimchi?
174
00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:22,430
The stripper
from the golden banana?
175
00:07:22,465 --> 00:07:26,033
No, kimchi is pickled cabbage
my mom eats all day.
176
00:07:26,068 --> 00:07:28,035
But it tastes so strong
that if you spike it,
177
00:07:28,070 --> 00:07:29,303
she won't notice.
178
00:07:29,338 --> 00:07:31,172
By nighttime, she'll be
completely hammered.
179
00:07:31,206 --> 00:07:32,507
So, we spike her kimchi.
180
00:07:32,575 --> 00:07:34,208
Great idea.
Let's just load it up.
181
00:07:34,243 --> 00:07:35,877
Well, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
182
00:07:35,911 --> 00:07:38,312
She's only 86 pounds.
We don't want to kill her.
183
00:07:38,347 --> 00:07:40,948
Let him finish.
184
00:07:42,985 --> 00:07:45,387
Two champagne cocktails, Steve.
185
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,488
Well, let me guess.
186
00:07:46,522 --> 00:07:48,189
You and Daryl
are getting along?
187
00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:50,124
Oh, Steve, he's fantastic.
188
00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:53,428
He's fun, he's charming,
he's considerate.
189
00:07:53,462 --> 00:07:55,363
His accent's a little fakey,
190
00:07:55,398 --> 00:07:57,298
but when you're carrying
around that much tackle...
191
00:07:57,366 --> 00:07:59,434
Got it, Carol.
192
00:07:59,468 --> 00:08:00,902
The point is,
193
00:08:00,936 --> 00:08:03,505
I think the right guy
walked into this bar.
194
00:08:03,572 --> 00:08:05,807
I could really fall for him.
195
00:08:05,841 --> 00:08:07,108
That's great, Carol.
196
00:08:07,142 --> 00:08:10,912
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, laaa ♪
197
00:08:10,946 --> 00:08:12,914
It's not gonna happen, Hank.
198
00:08:12,948 --> 00:08:15,917
Keep saying that,
but I saw "Dreamgirls."
199
00:08:15,984 --> 00:08:18,352
I know how this goes.
200
00:08:18,387 --> 00:08:20,955
Hey, Steve, you seen my mom?
201
00:08:20,989 --> 00:08:22,223
She's over there with Daryl.
202
00:08:22,257 --> 00:08:25,326
Oh, poor guy.
That's her break-up move.
203
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,328
I'm not sure that's
what's going on here.
204
00:08:27,362 --> 00:08:29,096
Trust me, Steve.
Mom's got a dating rule.
205
00:08:29,131 --> 00:08:30,364
Three dates and out.
206
00:08:30,399 --> 00:08:31,900
Then she's home in
time for "Scooby-doo"
207
00:08:31,934 --> 00:08:34,602
and hot chocolate
with her main man.
208
00:08:34,637 --> 00:08:37,371
Don't wait up for me tonight, Owen.
209
00:08:37,406 --> 00:08:39,373
Daryl and I
are going out to dinner.
210
00:08:39,408 --> 00:08:40,975
Mom, what about
three-and-out?
211
00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:44,111
I don't know. Maybe this
could be four-or-more.
212
00:08:44,146 --> 00:08:45,814
Four-or-more?!
213
00:08:45,881 --> 00:08:47,916
What does that mean
for me and Scooby?
214
00:08:48,984 --> 00:08:51,385
Well, it's just
you and Shaggy now.
215
00:09:00,028 --> 00:09:01,228
I love this song.
216
00:09:01,263 --> 00:09:03,498
Oh, so do I.
217
00:09:03,566 --> 00:09:05,266
- Do you sing?
- You kidding me?
218
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,001
I was in a band in high school.
219
00:09:07,035 --> 00:09:08,336
So was I!
220
00:09:08,370 --> 00:09:11,473
Well, I did a
band in high school.
221
00:09:13,642 --> 00:09:16,978
♪ Turn around, bright eyes ♪
222
00:09:17,045 --> 00:09:20,414
♪ every now and then I fall apart ♪
223
00:09:20,449 --> 00:09:24,018
♪ and I need you now tonight ♪
224
00:09:24,052 --> 00:09:27,455
♪ and I need you more than ever ♪
225
00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:31,125
♪ and if you only hold me tight ♪
226
00:09:31,159 --> 00:09:34,395
♪ we'll be holding on forever ♪
227
00:09:34,429 --> 00:09:36,865
Listen to them.
They're incredible together.
228
00:09:36,932 --> 00:09:39,333
You guys should sing
together in the contest!
229
00:09:39,368 --> 00:09:41,903
- What?! Are you kidding me?
- Wha... well, what do you think?
230
00:09:41,937 --> 00:09:43,505
I'd love to!
231
00:09:47,510 --> 00:09:50,578
♪ I really need you tonight ♪
232
00:09:50,613 --> 00:09:54,281
♪ forever's gonna
start tonight ♪
233
00:09:54,316 --> 00:09:57,051
♪ forever's gonna
start tonight ♪
234
00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:59,387
Hey, what's going on?
235
00:10:01,456 --> 00:10:04,158
You're singing
with another man?
236
00:10:04,192 --> 00:10:05,426
It's not what you think.
237
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:08,329
I have ears!
I'm not blind!
238
00:10:09,732 --> 00:10:11,265
I'm sorry.
What's happening here?
239
00:10:11,299 --> 00:10:12,567
You shut it, home wrecker.
240
00:10:13,402 --> 00:10:14,903
We just started
singing together,
241
00:10:14,937 --> 00:10:16,170
and one thing led to another.
242
00:10:16,204 --> 00:10:18,339
Oh, my God.
You're dumping me?
243
00:10:19,441 --> 00:10:21,208
Daryl, look...
244
00:10:21,243 --> 00:10:23,110
I know we sing well together,
245
00:10:23,145 --> 00:10:25,112
but I think I just must
have lost my head,
246
00:10:25,147 --> 00:10:26,380
because I promised Owen
247
00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:27,949
that we would sing
in the contest together.
248
00:10:27,983 --> 00:10:28,950
Is that all right?
249
00:10:28,984 --> 00:10:29,984
Of course.
250
00:10:30,019 --> 00:10:31,118
Okay. Rehearsal time!
251
00:10:31,153 --> 00:10:32,219
Daryl, do you mind?
252
00:10:32,254 --> 00:10:34,188
Sure, buddy.
You are not my dad!
253
00:10:36,158 --> 00:10:37,992
Let's go, mom.
254
00:10:40,395 --> 00:10:42,129
♪ Turn around ♪
255
00:10:42,197 --> 00:10:45,332
♪ every now and then
I get a little bit lonely ♪
256
00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:47,368
♪ that you're never coming 'round ♪
257
00:10:47,402 --> 00:10:49,470
♪ turn around ♪
258
00:10:49,504 --> 00:10:52,640
♪ every now and then
I get a little bit tired ♪
259
00:10:52,675 --> 00:10:55,309
♪ of listening to the
sound of my tears ♪
260
00:10:55,343 --> 00:10:57,612
Stop. Mom, you're just
going through the motions.
261
00:10:57,680 --> 00:10:59,346
Where's the pizzazz?
262
00:10:59,381 --> 00:11:02,483
Owen, this is hard
for me to say.
263
00:11:02,517 --> 00:11:05,219
I really like Daryl.
264
00:11:05,253 --> 00:11:08,489
Maybe it's time that you and I
sang with different people.
265
00:11:08,523 --> 00:11:11,225
Really?
That's what you want?
266
00:11:11,259 --> 00:11:14,261
Honey, I love singing with you.
267
00:11:14,296 --> 00:11:18,165
I'm just not in love
with singing with you.
268
00:11:19,468 --> 00:11:21,435
So, that's how
it's gonna be, huh?
269
00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:24,973
Take a good look.
270
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,274
'Cause some day,
this is gonna be you.
271
00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:28,542
How?
She's not my mother.
272
00:11:28,577 --> 00:11:30,745
You could've fooled me.
273
00:11:32,547 --> 00:11:34,148
Poor Owen.
274
00:11:34,182 --> 00:11:35,516
Yeah.
275
00:11:35,550 --> 00:11:37,251
He's really hurting.
276
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,520
We got a shot!
We got a shot!
277
00:11:39,554 --> 00:11:41,723
Yes!
Yes!
278
00:11:48,230 --> 00:11:49,396
Owen?
279
00:11:49,464 --> 00:11:52,100
How'd you know
where to find me, Steve?
280
00:11:54,302 --> 00:11:57,471
I didn't know
I was looking for you.
281
00:11:57,506 --> 00:11:58,673
What are you doing here?
282
00:11:58,741 --> 00:12:00,274
I'm running away from home.
283
00:12:00,308 --> 00:12:03,310
You're 30. At your age,
it's called "moving out."
284
00:12:03,345 --> 00:12:04,578
I'm not really moving out.
285
00:12:04,613 --> 00:12:06,313
I'm just gonna let her
miss me a little bit.
286
00:12:06,348 --> 00:12:09,784
See, Owen, you treat your mom
like she's your girlfriend.
287
00:12:09,818 --> 00:12:11,585
Which means when she
has a real boyfriend,
288
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:12,820
you feel like
you've been dumped,
289
00:12:12,855 --> 00:12:14,421
which is weird!
290
00:12:14,456 --> 00:12:16,691
You've never understood
the love me and my mom have.
291
00:12:16,725 --> 00:12:18,559
We're different, Steve.
Our love is special.
292
00:12:18,627 --> 00:12:20,294
We play by our own rules.
293
00:12:20,328 --> 00:12:21,796
That's the concern!
294
00:12:23,498 --> 00:12:25,232
Owen, your mom's here.
295
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:26,333
I knew it.
296
00:12:26,368 --> 00:12:28,036
You see that, Steve?
297
00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:29,771
You treat them like shit,
they come crawling back.
298
00:12:33,475 --> 00:12:36,177
Send her in.
299
00:12:36,211 --> 00:12:37,712
Don't go in there, Carol.
300
00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:40,314
I need to apologize
and make it right.
301
00:12:40,348 --> 00:12:42,083
What are you apologizing for?
302
00:12:42,151 --> 00:12:43,184
For living your life?
303
00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:44,786
I've known you a long time.
304
00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:46,554
I was there before you had him.
305
00:12:46,588 --> 00:12:47,822
I watched you raise him.
306
00:12:47,856 --> 00:12:49,123
You're a damn good mother.
307
00:12:49,158 --> 00:12:50,357
He's hurting, Jack.
308
00:12:50,392 --> 00:12:52,626
Well, that comes with the gig.
309
00:12:52,661 --> 00:12:55,163
You raise your kids, and
you have to let them go.
310
00:12:55,197 --> 00:12:56,597
And it hurts.
311
00:12:56,631 --> 00:12:59,466
That's how you know
you're doing a good job.
312
00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:02,303
Maybe you're right.
313
00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:03,738
Then you meet somebody.
314
00:13:03,772 --> 00:13:05,506
You get along.
315
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:07,175
You sing together,
316
00:13:07,209 --> 00:13:11,145
and you win the trophy
for Sullivan & Son.
317
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,215
Thanks, Jack.
318
00:13:14,249 --> 00:13:16,784
Maybe it's time
we both grew up, huh?
319
00:13:20,522 --> 00:13:23,091
Was that my mom I just heard?
320
00:13:23,158 --> 00:13:24,358
Yeah, she just left.
321
00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:25,526
What?
322
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,694
Bitches be crazy!
323
00:13:33,594 --> 00:13:37,094
♪ Once upon a time,
there was light in my life ♪
324
00:13:37,105 --> 00:13:40,107
♪ now there's only
love in the dark ♪
♪
325
00:13:40,142 --> 00:13:42,276
♪ nothing I can say ♪
326
00:13:42,311 --> 00:13:47,215
♪ a total eclipse of the heart ♪
327
00:13:51,553 --> 00:13:53,154
Ladies and gentlemen,
one more time
328
00:13:53,188 --> 00:13:54,521
for the Carol and Daryl
experience!
329
00:13:57,559 --> 00:13:58,792
Judges, what say you?
330
00:13:58,827 --> 00:14:01,028
Aah!
48 out of 50,
331
00:14:01,063 --> 00:14:03,030
the highest score of the night!
332
00:14:03,065 --> 00:14:04,465
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
333
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:08,035
from Mark's pub in Shadyside,
Tom and Randy!
334
00:14:14,276 --> 00:14:16,377
They're going with
a brother act?
335
00:14:18,046 --> 00:14:19,280
That's no brother act.
336
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:24,551
♪ We're no strangers to love ♪
337
00:14:24,586 --> 00:14:28,555
♪ you know the rules,
and so do I ♪
338
00:14:28,590 --> 00:14:33,327
♪ a full commitment's
what I'm thinking of ♪
339
00:14:33,362 --> 00:14:37,031
♪ you wouldn't get this
from any other guy ♪
340
00:14:37,099 --> 00:14:41,735
♪ I just wanna tell you
how I'm feeling ♪
341
00:14:41,803 --> 00:14:44,205
The one thing
we didn't plan for...
342
00:14:44,239 --> 00:14:45,539
Gays.
343
00:14:45,573 --> 00:14:48,442
Let me tell you,
they've got the "it" factor.
344
00:14:48,476 --> 00:14:49,676
You know how I know?
345
00:14:49,711 --> 00:14:51,379
Because I've got
the "it" factor.
346
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:53,714
And you didn't
recognize that, either!
347
00:14:53,748 --> 00:14:55,682
Go screw yourself!
348
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,821
That's her third bowl
of spiked kimchi.
349
00:15:00,855 --> 00:15:02,523
I know, but I can't tell.
350
00:15:02,590 --> 00:15:03,557
Is it working?
351
00:15:06,295 --> 00:15:08,495
Bye bye, bar tab.
352
00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:10,497
♪ Never gonna give,
never gonna give ♪
353
00:15:10,532 --> 00:15:12,800
♪ give you up ♪
354
00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:14,568
♪ never gonna give,
never gonna give ♪
355
00:15:14,636 --> 00:15:17,204
♪ give you up ♪
356
00:15:20,309 --> 00:15:22,343
Tom and Randy.
357
00:15:22,377 --> 00:15:25,479
49? 49?
358
00:15:25,513 --> 00:15:26,747
We lost?
359
00:15:26,781 --> 00:15:28,882
Steve, I'm telling you.
I can win this.
360
00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:30,517
I'm a trained singer.
361
00:15:30,552 --> 00:15:32,619
I just can't do it
in front of people.
362
00:15:32,687 --> 00:15:34,188
So, what do you want me to do,
363
00:15:34,222 --> 00:15:35,622
have everybody stand
outside while you sing?
364
00:15:35,657 --> 00:15:36,790
Perfect!
365
00:15:38,427 --> 00:15:40,461
Hi, I'm Owen Walsh.
366
00:15:40,528 --> 00:15:42,763
Used to be a part of
The Lovin' Walshes.
367
00:15:42,797 --> 00:15:44,765
Now I'm working solo.
368
00:15:44,799 --> 00:15:47,368
This one's going out to mom.
369
00:15:48,937 --> 00:15:52,539
♪ At first, I was afraid,
I was petrified ♪
370
00:15:52,574 --> 00:15:56,410
♪ kept thinking I could never
live without you by my side ♪
371
00:15:56,445 --> 00:15:58,812
♪ but then I spent so many nights ♪
372
00:15:58,847 --> 00:16:00,814
♪ thinking how you did me wrong ♪
373
00:16:00,849 --> 00:16:02,416
♪ and I grew strong ♪
374
00:16:02,451 --> 00:16:04,418
I learned how to get along!
375
00:16:04,453 --> 00:16:06,287
Now, go on!
Go!
376
00:16:06,321 --> 00:16:08,456
Walk out the door!
377
00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:10,157
Don't turn around now,
378
00:16:10,225 --> 00:16:12,259
'cause you're not
welcome anymore!
379
00:16:12,294 --> 00:16:14,428
Weren't you the one who tried
to hurt me with goodbye?!
380
00:16:15,697 --> 00:16:17,198
Did you think I would crumble?!
381
00:16:17,232 --> 00:16:19,400
Did you think I would
lay down and die?!
382
00:16:19,434 --> 00:16:21,202
Hey! Hey!
383
00:16:21,236 --> 00:16:22,503
Leave him alone!
384
00:16:22,537 --> 00:16:24,205
He's hurting!
385
00:16:26,308 --> 00:16:27,808
Don't worry, baby.
386
00:16:27,842 --> 00:16:31,512
If I can survive,
you can survive.
387
00:16:31,579 --> 00:16:35,816
You've got to sing it
like you mean it!
388
00:16:40,222 --> 00:16:42,323
♪ Oh, yes, yes, you ♪
389
00:16:42,357 --> 00:16:44,392
♪ you will survive ♪
390
00:16:44,426 --> 00:16:46,827
♪ oh, as long as you
know how to love ♪
391
00:16:46,895 --> 00:16:48,595
♪ you know you'll stay alive ♪
392
00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:50,398
She's definitely drunk now.
393
00:16:50,432 --> 00:16:51,865
No, no, she's hammered.
394
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,601
Look at her.
She's happy.
395
00:16:54,636 --> 00:16:56,603
I don't feel safe.
396
00:16:56,638 --> 00:17:00,807
Hey! Hey!
397
00:17:00,842 --> 00:17:03,177
Oh, I am recording this.
398
00:17:03,211 --> 00:17:04,978
I always kind of hoped she'd do that
399
00:17:05,013 --> 00:17:07,214
while she was on top of me.
400
00:17:07,249 --> 00:17:10,617
And stop.
And delete.
401
00:17:10,652 --> 00:17:13,354
- You're going to survive, right?
- Right!
402
00:17:13,388 --> 00:17:15,389
Then sing with me!
403
00:17:15,424 --> 00:17:17,758
♪ I will survive ♪
404
00:17:17,792 --> 00:17:20,261
♪ oh, as long as I know how to love ♪
405
00:17:20,295 --> 00:17:21,929
♪ I know I'll stay alive ♪
406
00:17:21,963 --> 00:17:23,897
♪ I've got all my life to live ♪
407
00:17:23,932 --> 00:17:25,899
♪ I've got all my love to give ♪
408
00:17:25,934 --> 00:17:27,901
♪ I'll survive ♪
409
00:17:27,936 --> 00:17:29,970
♪ I will survive ♪
410
00:17:30,004 --> 00:17:31,838
♪ whoa, whoa, now go ♪
411
00:17:31,906 --> 00:17:33,474
♪ walk out the door ♪
412
00:17:33,542 --> 00:17:35,376
♪ just turn around now ♪
413
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:38,212
♪ oh, you're not
welcome anymore ♪
414
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,282
♪ weren't you the one who tried
to crush me with goodbye? ♪
415
00:17:41,316 --> 00:17:42,749
♪ you think I'd crumble? ♪
416
00:17:42,784 --> 00:17:44,952
♪ oh, was I gonna
lay down and die?! ♪
417
00:17:44,986 --> 00:17:46,853
♪ oh, no, not I ♪
418
00:17:46,888 --> 00:17:49,290
♪ I will survive ♪
419
00:17:49,324 --> 00:17:51,358
♪ whoa, as long as I
know how to love ♪
420
00:17:51,426 --> 00:17:53,360
♪ I know I'll stay alive ♪
421
00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:54,928
♪ I've got all my life to live ♪
422
00:17:54,963 --> 00:17:56,897
♪ I've got all my love to give ♪
423
00:17:56,931 --> 00:17:58,765
♪ and I'll survive ♪
424
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,767
♪ I will survive! ♪
425
00:18:07,309 --> 00:18:08,542
50!
They got a 50!
426
00:18:08,577 --> 00:18:11,545
Holy crap, we won!
427
00:18:11,580 --> 00:18:12,813
Hey!
428
00:18:12,847 --> 00:18:15,916
Who wants to do Tequila shots
429
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:18,619
off of my belly?
430
00:18:18,653 --> 00:18:20,654
Steve, go get your mother!
431
00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:25,726
Dad... brought home
the trophy.
432
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,961
The losing streak's over.
433
00:18:27,996 --> 00:18:29,463
Who knows?
434
00:18:29,531 --> 00:18:31,265
This could be the start
of a good run.
435
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,799
- The dart tournament's next month.
- Hey, hey, hey.
436
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:34,635
Let's just enjoy tonight.
437
00:18:34,669 --> 00:18:37,037
Tonight, we're champions.
438
00:18:39,474 --> 00:18:40,774
Congratulations, sweetie.
439
00:18:40,842 --> 00:18:41,908
You were terrific.
440
00:18:41,943 --> 00:18:42,909
Thanks, mom.
441
00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:45,779
Owen, that was amazing.
442
00:18:45,813 --> 00:18:47,314
Thank you.
443
00:18:47,382 --> 00:18:49,283
And I'm sorry I overreacted
about you and my mom.
444
00:18:49,317 --> 00:18:50,917
Oh, I understand.
445
00:18:50,952 --> 00:18:54,622
And I want you to know that
I'm very fond of your mother.
446
00:18:54,689 --> 00:18:56,624
She's very special.
447
00:18:56,691 --> 00:18:58,526
Take care of her.
448
00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,860
Thanks, sweetie.
449
00:18:59,894 --> 00:19:01,662
So, Ok Cha.
450
00:19:01,696 --> 00:19:06,767
Ohh, there's my chocolate
Teddy bear.
451
00:19:06,801 --> 00:19:08,602
It's about our bar tab.
452
00:19:10,472 --> 00:19:12,473
I'm feeling so good,
453
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:14,041
I'm going to show you
454
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:18,445
what I'm going to do
with your tabs.
455
00:19:19,381 --> 00:19:21,114
Feel so sleepy.
456
00:19:21,149 --> 00:19:23,717
B-b-before you pass out,
just tear up...
457
00:19:23,751 --> 00:19:26,520
Tear up the tab.
458
00:19:26,588 --> 00:19:28,955
I just need to put
my head down.
459
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:31,692
Tear up the tabs!
460
00:19:31,726 --> 00:19:33,594
All we have to do
is slide the tab out,
461
00:19:33,628 --> 00:19:35,028
tear it up ourselves,
462
00:19:35,063 --> 00:19:38,432
then, in the morning,
tell her she did it.
463
00:19:39,634 --> 00:19:42,336
Don't try it, fat boys!
464
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,780
Is anybody here?
465
00:19:57,654 --> 00:20:00,254
Ave Maria ♪
466
00:20:09,632 --> 00:20:16,971
♪ gratia plena♪
467
00:20:17,006 --> 00:20:20,008
♪ Maria♪
468
00:20:20,042 --> 00:20:25,647
♪ gratia plena♪
469
00:20:25,682 --> 00:20:33,221
♪ benedicta ♪
470
00:20:33,255 --> 00:20:37,158
♪ et benedictus♪
471
00:20:37,193 --> 00:20:40,829
♪ fructus ventris ♪
472
00:20:40,863 --> 00:20:43,932
♪ ventris tui ♪
473
00:20:43,966 --> 00:20:49,771
♪ jesus♪
474
00:20:49,806 --> 00:20:52,406
♪ ave Maria ♪
475
00:20:59,248 --> 00:21:03,048
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
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