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1
00:00:02,408 --> 00:00:05,243
Guys, check it out.
Mr. Ryan fell asleep again.
2
00:00:06,378 --> 00:00:07,279
I bet you five bucks
3
00:00:07,313 --> 00:00:09,647
you can't put this hat on
his head without waking him up.
4
00:00:09,714 --> 00:00:11,249
You're on.
5
00:00:14,286 --> 00:00:17,255
I'll give you 20 bucks to put
these sunglasses on his head.
6
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,693
Guys, guys!
7
00:00:22,727 --> 00:00:25,063
Stop playing Mr. Potato head
with Mr. Ryan.
8
00:00:26,865 --> 00:00:28,967
He's an elderly man
and our neighborhood councilman.
9
00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:31,302
Mr. Ryan.
Mr. Ryan!
10
00:00:37,909 --> 00:00:39,077
He's dead.
11
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:43,014
My God. He's been there
for, like, an hour.
12
00:00:43,082 --> 00:00:45,083
All right.
I'll call it in.
13
00:00:47,319 --> 00:00:49,854
I'll give you 20 bucks
to get my hat back.
14
00:00:49,888 --> 00:00:51,389
All right.
15
00:00:57,396 --> 00:00:59,730
Councilman Ryan,
are you gonna finish your beer?
16
00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:03,134
Owen, he's dead.
17
00:01:03,168 --> 00:01:05,003
It's still polite to ask.
18
00:01:07,475 --> 00:01:10,475
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
19
00:01:11,076 --> 00:01:14,912
♪ Da da da da,
da da da, da, da da ♪
20
00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:19,050
♪ da, da da da, da da da ♪
21
00:01:19,084 --> 00:01:23,221
♪ da da da da,
da da da, da da da ♪
22
00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:28,926
♪ da da da da, da da da,
da da da, da da da, hey! ♪
23
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,928
Hey.
24
00:01:30,962 --> 00:01:32,363
Why all the long faces?
25
00:01:32,398 --> 00:01:34,932
- You know councilman Ryan?
- Yeah.
26
00:01:34,966 --> 00:01:36,167
He's dead.
27
00:01:36,201 --> 00:01:37,801
Yes!
28
00:01:39,238 --> 00:01:41,672
- Finally!
- Come on, dad.
29
00:01:41,706 --> 00:01:43,874
A little respect...
He died right here at the bar.
30
00:01:43,909 --> 00:01:46,044
Look. I'm not gonna pretend
to be sad that the man is dead.
31
00:01:46,078 --> 00:01:48,046
He stole that seat
from my father,
32
00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,415
and I've been waiting
to take it back for 30 years!
33
00:01:50,449 --> 00:01:52,950
He didn't steal it.
He won it fair and square.
34
00:01:52,984 --> 00:01:54,919
He showed up
at the debate sober.
35
00:01:54,953 --> 00:01:58,456
And who does that?
Only a crook.
36
00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:00,991
Say what you like,
but I always found him to be
37
00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:04,962
an honest politician...
And very generous lover.
38
00:02:04,996 --> 00:02:09,500
Of course, as he got old,
his eyesight was very bad.
39
00:02:09,535 --> 00:02:12,836
On our last date,
I went to open a bottle of wine,
40
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:16,107
and came back to find him
ravaging a throw pillow.
41
00:02:16,141 --> 00:02:17,508
Which pillow?
42
00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:19,210
The long one with the boats.
43
00:02:19,244 --> 00:02:22,080
Yeah, that one was always
begging for it.
44
00:02:23,282 --> 00:02:25,015
What's going on?
45
00:02:25,050 --> 00:02:26,384
Councilman Ryan died.
46
00:02:26,452 --> 00:02:29,454
Finally, the bastard's dead!
47
00:02:30,922 --> 00:02:33,057
- Are you going to run?
- You know it, baby.
48
00:02:33,092 --> 00:02:34,358
I promised my father
I'd run for that seat
49
00:02:34,393 --> 00:02:35,993
the minute it was open.
50
00:02:36,027 --> 00:02:37,395
Good for you.
51
00:02:37,429 --> 00:02:39,263
And the weird thing is
he died right here at the bar.
52
00:02:39,298 --> 00:02:41,031
Did he pay his tab?
53
00:02:41,066 --> 00:02:43,134
Yes.
54
00:02:43,168 --> 00:02:45,169
Then it's win-win.
55
00:02:48,773 --> 00:02:50,741
So, dad, I just heard
56
00:02:50,775 --> 00:02:52,410
Ryan's brother's running
for the vacant seat.
57
00:02:52,444 --> 00:02:54,378
Ah, I'm not worried about him.
58
00:02:54,413 --> 00:02:56,046
What we should be worried about
59
00:02:56,081 --> 00:02:58,882
is this campaign has
a major liability.
60
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,152
- What?
- That.
61
00:03:01,186 --> 00:03:02,987
This card has been rejected.
62
00:03:03,021 --> 00:03:04,989
You spend the money
you don't have.
63
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:09,193
In fact, I do you a favor.
64
00:03:12,564 --> 00:03:16,501
Not exactly a people person.
65
00:03:16,568 --> 00:03:18,503
So, you see my problem.
66
00:03:18,537 --> 00:03:21,372
I love your mother.
She's a wonderful woman.
67
00:03:21,406 --> 00:03:24,108
She just has to disappear
for a while.
68
00:03:24,143 --> 00:03:26,910
- You want to get rid of mom?
- Here's the plan.
69
00:03:26,978 --> 00:03:29,880
We tell her she's going to the
supermarket, but she's not, see?
70
00:03:29,914 --> 00:03:31,782
And then we put a bag
over her head...
71
00:03:31,816 --> 00:03:33,217
Dad, come on!
72
00:03:33,252 --> 00:03:36,086
I need to win this, son.
It's the Sullivan seat.
73
00:03:36,121 --> 00:03:38,088
I'm telling you,
mom knows what's up.
74
00:03:38,123 --> 00:03:40,358
She really wants this for you.
She'll be fine.
75
00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:42,092
I'll talk to her
and help her get better
76
00:03:42,127 --> 00:03:44,028
at coming off...
friendly and likeable.
77
00:03:45,497 --> 00:03:46,831
Hey, mom.
78
00:03:47,699 --> 00:03:49,633
I was thinking when dad makes
his big announcement,
79
00:03:49,701 --> 00:03:51,269
it would be nice
if you would say a few words.
80
00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,636
Oh, no.
81
00:03:52,671 --> 00:03:53,505
Oh, it doesn't have to be much.
82
00:03:53,539 --> 00:03:55,206
Just a few words
of love and support.
83
00:03:56,442 --> 00:03:58,677
You don't show love
and support in public!
84
00:03:58,711 --> 00:04:01,612
You might as well
just ask me to take off my top
85
00:04:01,647 --> 00:04:03,282
and shake my ta-tas.
86
00:04:04,516 --> 00:04:07,818
Mom, it's for dad.
It's no big deal.
87
00:04:07,886 --> 00:04:09,253
All you have to say is,
88
00:04:09,288 --> 00:04:11,956
"I'm Jack's wife,
and I stand behind him."
89
00:04:12,690 --> 00:04:16,660
Well, since it means so much
to your father, I can do that.
90
00:04:16,694 --> 00:04:17,561
Great.
91
00:04:17,596 --> 00:04:19,463
Now, just relax
and keep it casual.
92
00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:26,670
I'm Jack's wife,
and I stand behind him.
93
00:04:26,704 --> 00:04:27,971
What are you doing
with your hand?
94
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,239
I'm not doing anything.
95
00:04:29,274 --> 00:04:30,874
Yes, you are.
You're karate chopping.
96
00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:34,711
Try it again.
A little less Kim Jong-Il.
97
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:38,482
Jack, you have no idea
98
00:04:38,517 --> 00:04:41,085
how commanding and powerful
you look right now.
99
00:04:41,119 --> 00:04:42,353
It's so sexy.
100
00:04:42,387 --> 00:04:44,188
Oh, thank you, Carol.
101
00:04:44,223 --> 00:04:46,090
Now, I know I don't know
anything about politics,
102
00:04:46,124 --> 00:04:48,192
and I'm just a gal
with no experience,
103
00:04:48,227 --> 00:04:50,895
but could I be your intern?
104
00:04:52,198 --> 00:04:53,832
Carol, I don't think
I need an intern.
105
00:04:54,666 --> 00:04:57,668
Every powerful politician
needs an intern...
106
00:04:57,702 --> 00:05:01,039
Somebody to get you coffee,
rub your shoulders.
107
00:05:01,073 --> 00:05:03,607
And, of course, I'm happy
to work around the clock.
108
00:05:03,742 --> 00:05:04,842
What did you say?
109
00:05:04,876 --> 00:05:07,745
"Clock."
What did you hear?
110
00:05:10,049 --> 00:05:11,882
Mom, pretend Hank here
is a voter.
111
00:05:11,917 --> 00:05:13,784
You're meeting him
for the first time.
112
00:05:13,819 --> 00:05:15,820
Try to connect.
Pay him a compliment.
113
00:05:20,992 --> 00:05:22,027
Your head is round.
114
00:05:24,729 --> 00:05:26,130
Hey, she mentions
the shape of my head,
115
00:05:26,165 --> 00:05:27,231
and everybody's cool.
116
00:05:27,266 --> 00:05:28,866
I mention
the shape of her eyes,
117
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,602
and suddenly
it's a whole thing.
118
00:05:31,636 --> 00:05:34,939
Mom, try starting
with "I like..."
119
00:05:35,007 --> 00:05:37,108
I like how you hate immigrants.
120
00:05:38,944 --> 00:05:40,311
They take all our jobs.
121
00:05:40,346 --> 00:05:43,281
Okay, she's winning me back.
122
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:53,216
Vote Sullivan.
Thank you.
123
00:05:53,251 --> 00:05:55,653
Vote Sullivan. Thank you.
124
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,555
- Okay, mom.
- Hmm?
125
00:05:57,589 --> 00:05:58,722
This is Maryanne.
126
00:05:58,757 --> 00:05:59,957
She's one of the swing voters
127
00:05:59,991 --> 00:06:01,224
that could really help dad win.
128
00:06:01,259 --> 00:06:02,826
Remember, we googled her
129
00:06:02,861 --> 00:06:03,961
and went through
her Facebook page?
130
00:06:03,995 --> 00:06:05,629
Maryanne. Right.
131
00:06:05,664 --> 00:06:09,132
Hi, Maryanne Lynn Brownell.
132
00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:12,036
Your son Jason
attends Oberlin College
133
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:14,204
and is
a theater-arts major.
134
00:06:14,238 --> 00:06:15,773
He does improv, and right now,
135
00:06:15,807 --> 00:06:20,711
he is hating on all things
Mumford & Sons.
136
00:06:20,745 --> 00:06:22,613
Wow.
You've done your homework.
137
00:06:22,647 --> 00:06:24,815
Also, he recently
came out as gay.
138
00:06:26,384 --> 00:06:29,753
Maryanne,
I have other voters to charm.
139
00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:37,761
Hey, guys.
Are you registered to vote?
140
00:06:37,829 --> 00:06:39,863
Not really into politics.
141
00:06:39,898 --> 00:06:41,164
Are you serious?
142
00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:43,133
Local politics is the backbone
of democracy.
143
00:06:45,236 --> 00:06:46,971
You guys, it's actually
more important
144
00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:48,606
than national politics.
145
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,841
Wow. Now that you put it
that way, Melanie...
146
00:06:52,877 --> 00:06:55,012
Why do I even talk to you guys?
147
00:06:57,983 --> 00:06:59,249
Can I register you guys
to vote?
148
00:06:59,283 --> 00:07:02,319
Yes.
Sign us up.
149
00:07:02,353 --> 00:07:04,287
I love how passionate
you guys are
150
00:07:04,322 --> 00:07:05,990
about the political process.
151
00:07:06,024 --> 00:07:08,158
Well, I'm actually a little more
passionate than him
152
00:07:08,192 --> 00:07:09,827
on the account of
I was born here.
153
00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:11,128
Actually, so was I.
154
00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:14,197
Never seen proof.
He's on a lot of lists.
155
00:07:14,232 --> 00:07:17,334
Well, I'll see you later.
156
00:07:17,401 --> 00:07:18,736
We'll be here.
157
00:07:18,770 --> 00:07:20,904
Participating in the process!
158
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:22,906
What are you doing? We can't
both hit on the hot chick.
159
00:07:22,941 --> 00:07:24,174
Only one way to solve this.
160
00:07:24,208 --> 00:07:26,043
One, two, three!
One, two, three!
161
00:07:26,077 --> 00:07:28,411
There's no gun in
rock, paper, scissors.
162
00:07:28,446 --> 00:07:31,115
There is when there's
a hot chick. Bang!
163
00:07:32,817 --> 00:07:35,853
Hey, Steve. Do something.
Your mother's near a child.
164
00:07:38,356 --> 00:07:40,257
its head is round.
165
00:07:40,291 --> 00:07:43,127
It's a baby.
166
00:07:43,161 --> 00:07:44,662
You need to squeeze it.
167
00:07:51,169 --> 00:07:54,705
Check one. Check one.
168
00:07:54,773 --> 00:07:57,007
Hello, everyone,
I hope you're getting to know
169
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:59,743
what a fabulous candidate
Jack is.
170
00:07:59,778 --> 00:08:01,344
But now it's time for
171
00:08:01,379 --> 00:08:03,246
the entertainment portion
of the evening.
172
00:08:05,050 --> 00:08:07,284
Yow! Go, mom!
173
00:08:07,351 --> 00:08:12,856
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
174
00:08:13,958 --> 00:08:20,397
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
175
00:08:23,401 --> 00:08:26,937
♪ Happy Birthday ♪
176
00:08:26,971 --> 00:08:31,441
♪ Mr. Future
Neighborhood Councilman ♪
177
00:08:31,475 --> 00:08:32,810
♪ happy... ♪
178
00:08:32,877 --> 00:08:35,079
Too hot! Too hot!
Ow! Ow!
179
00:08:38,249 --> 00:08:39,850
What are you guys doing?
180
00:08:39,884 --> 00:08:41,251
We're registering to vote.
181
00:08:41,285 --> 00:08:43,887
You two? Yes, Melanie.
We do listen to you.
182
00:08:45,389 --> 00:08:48,826
You know, guys, I'm part of
an environmental group.
183
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:50,393
We...
184
00:08:50,428 --> 00:08:52,395
This is serious.
185
00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:54,998
Did you know that there's
an island in the Indian ocean
186
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,967
that is literally sinking?
187
00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:59,036
First of all,
that's not a real ocean.
188
00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:00,938
Second of all...
189
00:09:03,074 --> 00:09:05,075
Why do I even bother?
190
00:09:06,778 --> 00:09:07,978
Hey, guys.
191
00:09:08,012 --> 00:09:09,246
Did you want to sign
a petition about...
192
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:11,148
We'll sign.
We'll sign.
193
00:09:11,182 --> 00:09:13,350
It's about saving recycling
in the neighborhood.
194
00:09:13,384 --> 00:09:15,252
I'm in. This planet's
the only one we've got.
195
00:09:15,286 --> 00:09:17,254
Did you know that there's
an island in the Indian ocean
196
00:09:17,288 --> 00:09:19,422
that's literally sinking?
197
00:09:19,457 --> 00:09:22,126
I do.
And it keeps me up at night.
198
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:23,827
I'm actually going there
to get involved.
199
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:24,962
I'm going, too.
200
00:09:25,029 --> 00:09:26,396
My flight's Saturday.
When's yours?
201
00:09:26,464 --> 00:09:28,398
Friday.
202
00:09:28,432 --> 00:09:31,135
I guess I care more.
203
00:09:31,202 --> 00:09:33,871
You guys, you're incredible.
You're so inspiring.
204
00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:37,440
I wish I could just take
your essence and drink it up.
205
00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:42,045
I'm running because
I want to make a difference.
206
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,281
I want to bring jobs
and business to our neighborhood
207
00:09:44,348 --> 00:09:47,184
and, most important, smiles.
208
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,255
How about planting flowers on
the traffic meters down Main?
209
00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:54,925
Sir, I say yes to you
and yes to flowers.
210
00:09:54,959 --> 00:09:56,260
And now, ladies an gentlemen,
211
00:09:56,294 --> 00:09:58,929
I'd like you to meet some
very important people...
212
00:09:58,963 --> 00:10:01,031
My beautiful daughter, Susan...
213
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:05,202
And my wonderful son, Steve...
214
00:10:07,806 --> 00:10:09,773
And, of course,
my lovely wife, Ok Cha.
215
00:10:09,808 --> 00:10:11,241
Thank you all very much coming.
Bye.
216
00:10:14,512 --> 00:10:15,913
I think that went very well.
217
00:10:15,947 --> 00:10:17,414
Wait a minute.
When do I go up?
218
00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:19,016
Actually, honey, I was thinking
219
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:20,918
we could all take a trip
to the supermarket.
220
00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:24,321
You trying to get rid of me.
221
00:10:24,355 --> 00:10:26,089
Just till the election is over.
222
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:27,958
- Why?
- Because you're not helping.
223
00:10:27,992 --> 00:10:29,960
What do you mean
I'm not helping?!
224
00:10:29,994 --> 00:10:31,862
I'm out there schmoozing it up.
225
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:33,263
Honey, people don't like you.
226
00:10:34,398 --> 00:10:37,100
Dumb people don't like me.
227
00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:39,837
Smart people like me
because I tell the truth.
228
00:10:39,871 --> 00:10:42,806
This is politics.
Nobody wants to hear the truth.
229
00:10:42,874 --> 00:10:44,374
Watch this.
230
00:10:44,408 --> 00:10:48,812
Hello, fat Americans.
231
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:54,084
What is this nonsense about
spending tax money on flowers?
232
00:10:54,118 --> 00:10:57,120
If you want more business,
you need to lower taxes
233
00:10:57,155 --> 00:10:59,857
and not spend it
on pretty things that die.
234
00:11:02,293 --> 00:11:04,061
So, you think flowers
are a bad idea?
235
00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:06,463
Hey, when the government buys
you flowers,
236
00:11:06,497 --> 00:11:10,968
it means only one thing...
they're about to screw you.
237
00:11:13,371 --> 00:11:15,138
What about a recycling plan?
238
00:11:15,173 --> 00:11:17,540
- I'm all for that.
- Oh, big waste of time.
239
00:11:17,575 --> 00:11:19,576
Plastic is good.
240
00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:23,446
If the world's getting warmer,
why did I wear a coat yesterday?
241
00:11:23,514 --> 00:11:27,084
Why aren't you running?
242
00:11:27,151 --> 00:11:29,219
Best question
I heard all night.
243
00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:30,921
Well, you got my vote.
244
00:11:36,294 --> 00:11:38,896
Who am I to deny the people?
245
00:11:40,231 --> 00:11:42,599
I will run for you.
246
00:11:44,202 --> 00:11:45,502
I will fight for you.
247
00:11:45,569 --> 00:11:48,605
I will not let the government
rape you.
248
00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:53,470
♪ ♪
249
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:02,985
Whoa, whoa.
250
00:12:03,019 --> 00:12:05,421
Aren't you gonna recycle that?
251
00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:08,857
No way.
Recycling's a bunch of crap.
252
00:12:08,891 --> 00:12:10,759
This could choke a dolphin.
253
00:12:10,827 --> 00:12:12,694
Well, good.
They're ruining my tuna.
254
00:12:12,729 --> 00:12:15,297
Next to humans,
255
00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:17,833
dolphins are
the world's smartest creatures.
256
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,336
Then, why do they keep swimming
into the nets?
257
00:12:21,638 --> 00:12:23,071
Got you, hippie!
258
00:12:24,974 --> 00:12:28,810
Listen, Jamaica.
We've been talking.
259
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:31,847
All cards on the table,
we both kind of like you,
260
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:35,851
and we're wondering...
Do you kind of like one of us?
261
00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:38,754
I don't want to decide.
I like you both.
262
00:12:40,056 --> 00:12:42,024
Oh, hey, Roy. Here's your
"vote for Jack" t-shirt.
263
00:12:42,058 --> 00:12:45,093
Actually,
I'm voting for Ok Cha.
264
00:12:45,128 --> 00:12:46,595
Really?
Yeah.
265
00:12:46,630 --> 00:12:48,430
I agree with her
on the issues...
266
00:12:48,465 --> 00:12:50,766
Small government, less taxes,
more personal responsibility.
267
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,135
You're a tea-party guy?
But you're black!
268
00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:55,070
Yeah, thanks for that.
269
00:12:56,806 --> 00:12:58,507
I was raised on a commune,
270
00:12:58,575 --> 00:13:02,878
so I think love should be shared
by as many people as possible.
271
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,647
You know what I mean?
272
00:13:04,681 --> 00:13:07,916
Yeah. Yeah.
We totally know what you mean.
273
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,852
What do you mean?
274
00:13:10,887 --> 00:13:15,757
What I'm saying is why don't
the three of us make love?
275
00:13:15,792 --> 00:13:17,859
Let me get this straight.
276
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:20,663
You want me, you,
and him in bed together?
277
00:13:20,697 --> 00:13:21,763
Yes.
278
00:13:22,799 --> 00:13:26,101
I like everything
but the him part.
279
00:13:27,837 --> 00:13:29,071
Mom, I don't get it.
280
00:13:29,105 --> 00:13:30,906
Why do you even
want to be a councilman?
281
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,541
It's exactly the kind of job
you hate.
282
00:13:32,576 --> 00:13:35,911
It's all meetings
and bureaucracy and...
283
00:13:35,978 --> 00:13:37,913
Is that my
middle-school-graduation suit?
284
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:41,083
Yeah.
Looks nice, doesn't it?
285
00:13:41,117 --> 00:13:43,619
A little small
in the shoulders.
286
00:13:43,653 --> 00:13:47,389
Mom, I just don't get
why you want to do this.
287
00:13:47,457 --> 00:13:50,426
Because I would make
a better supreme leader.
288
00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:52,561
Cut the crap, mom.
You know this is dad's dream.
289
00:13:52,596 --> 00:13:53,895
Oh, boo-hoo.
290
00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:56,031
He wanted to put a bag
over my head.
291
00:13:56,065 --> 00:13:58,634
Oh, yeah.
I know that supermarket trick.
292
00:13:58,668 --> 00:14:00,669
I'm the one
who taught him that.
293
00:14:02,071 --> 00:14:04,039
Now, if you will excuse me,
294
00:14:04,073 --> 00:14:08,944
I have to go deliver
some harsh truths.
295
00:14:11,814 --> 00:14:13,549
Sir.
296
00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:16,818
One look tells me
you're unemployed.
297
00:14:16,853 --> 00:14:19,955
And of course,
you have an iPhone.
298
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,558
Well, buddy, you got
all your priorities screwed up.
299
00:14:22,626 --> 00:14:24,092
Why don't you download an app
300
00:14:24,127 --> 00:14:27,596
that cuts your hair
and gives you a résumé?
301
00:14:29,766 --> 00:14:32,134
Sir, right this way.
302
00:14:32,168 --> 00:14:34,470
I have a t-shirt for you
and some cookies.
303
00:14:34,504 --> 00:14:36,972
Okay, fine. Go ahead.
Vote for Jack.
304
00:14:37,039 --> 00:14:40,876
He can't even get himself
dressed without me.
305
00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:42,144
That's not true!
306
00:14:42,178 --> 00:14:44,880
Oh, yeah?
What's your pant size?
307
00:14:44,914 --> 00:14:47,549
I want to say...
30-something.
308
00:14:47,617 --> 00:14:50,886
See? Useless.
309
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,788
He doesn't even know
the name of our bank.
310
00:14:52,822 --> 00:14:54,055
I do, too!
It's the bank of...Uh...
311
00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:56,759
Where the Walgreens used to be.
312
00:14:56,793 --> 00:14:59,495
How can you expect to run the city
313
00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:01,129
when you can't
even run your own life?
314
00:15:01,164 --> 00:15:02,998
It's better than trying to
run everybody else's life!
315
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:04,232
You're like a dictator!
316
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:08,136
I am not a dictator!
I am a people person!
317
00:15:08,204 --> 00:15:10,972
Guys, guys,
it's getting out of hand.
318
00:15:11,007 --> 00:15:12,841
- She started it!
- And I'm ending it!
319
00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:15,577
Let's see how you like
sleeping on the couch tonight.
320
00:15:15,612 --> 00:15:16,945
Fine...
Let's see how you like
321
00:15:16,979 --> 00:15:18,980
sleeping all alone in a
big, cold, empty bed.
322
00:15:19,015 --> 00:15:23,652
Oh, I will!
I'm sleeping diagonal, baby!
323
00:15:24,921 --> 00:15:26,822
Diagonal.
324
00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:43,639
What the hell, dad?!
325
00:15:43,673 --> 00:15:46,908
I tried the couch,
but it was killing my back.
326
00:15:46,943 --> 00:15:49,044
So make up with mom
and sleep in your own bed.
327
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:50,713
After what she did?
328
00:15:50,747 --> 00:15:52,080
She knows how important
this election is to me.
329
00:15:52,148 --> 00:15:53,816
It's the Sullivan seat.
330
00:15:53,850 --> 00:15:56,184
Speaking of which, if this
happens again... pajama bottoms.
331
00:15:57,721 --> 00:16:01,189
Here. I brought you
some clean clothes...
332
00:16:01,257 --> 00:16:04,793
And your toothbrush and a razor
333
00:16:04,828 --> 00:16:08,029
and the body wash that makes
you smell like a urinal mint.
334
00:16:08,064 --> 00:16:10,131
Thank you.
335
00:16:10,199 --> 00:16:11,933
No, don't thank me.
336
00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:14,603
I just want my first lady
to look good.
337
00:16:15,872 --> 00:16:17,939
Wait a minute, mom.
338
00:16:17,974 --> 00:16:21,209
No one's leaving this room
until we figure this out.
339
00:16:21,244 --> 00:16:23,945
- You're not running against dad.
- Why not?
340
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:26,648
Because you're supposed to stand
by my side and support me.
341
00:16:26,683 --> 00:16:28,784
- You're supposed to let me.
- I did!
342
00:16:28,818 --> 00:16:30,686
Actually, dad...you didn't.
343
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,955
Well, she was turning off voters.
You saw it.
344
00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:38,326
Hey, I was being myself.
I've always been this way.
345
00:16:38,361 --> 00:16:40,696
But this is the first time
in our whole marriage
346
00:16:40,730 --> 00:16:42,765
that you were ashamed of me.
347
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,869
Even when I first came
to America...
348
00:16:46,903 --> 00:16:49,838
I was here for two weeks,
I spoke 10 words of English,
349
00:16:49,873 --> 00:16:51,774
and I didn't know
where anything was,
350
00:16:51,808 --> 00:16:53,675
and I didn't know
how to run the tabs
351
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:55,611
or how to talk nicely
to customers...
352
00:16:55,645 --> 00:16:57,880
You weren't ashamed of me.
353
00:16:59,682 --> 00:17:02,250
But you were last night.
354
00:17:02,285 --> 00:17:04,986
Actually,
talking nice to customers
355
00:17:05,021 --> 00:17:06,922
is still an action item.
356
00:17:09,926 --> 00:17:12,093
Oh, baby.
357
00:17:12,128 --> 00:17:15,898
I've never been ashamed
of you, never once.
358
00:17:15,932 --> 00:17:18,066
And if I made
you feel like that
359
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,268
because of
this stupid election...
360
00:17:20,303 --> 00:17:23,238
I'm gonna drop out.
361
00:17:23,306 --> 00:17:26,107
You can take the Sullivan seat.
362
00:17:27,744 --> 00:17:31,713
No.
The Sullivan seat is yours.
363
00:17:31,748 --> 00:17:34,917
Your father wanted you to have it.
364
00:17:34,984 --> 00:17:38,119
If it hurts you,
I don't want it.
365
00:17:38,154 --> 00:17:41,356
If it hurts you,
I don't want it.
366
00:17:42,926 --> 00:17:43,959
Come here.
367
00:17:53,369 --> 00:17:56,839
Guys!
368
00:18:00,944 --> 00:18:03,311
That's my bed.
369
00:18:03,346 --> 00:18:06,915
Well, it's about time
it saw some action.
370
00:18:13,322 --> 00:18:14,723
I've always wanted a threesome,
371
00:18:14,757 --> 00:18:16,157
but with a different
girl-to-guy ratio.
372
00:18:16,192 --> 00:18:20,061
Me, too...
Three girls, no guys.
373
00:18:20,096 --> 00:18:22,063
But here's the real question.
374
00:18:22,098 --> 00:18:24,065
How do we do this
without touching each other?
375
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:26,401
How about I'm on top,
you're on the bottom?
376
00:18:26,435 --> 00:18:28,069
That's two men having sex.
377
00:18:28,104 --> 00:18:30,071
Well, she'll be in between us.
378
00:18:30,106 --> 00:18:31,306
Do you know how sex works?
379
00:18:32,809 --> 00:18:34,242
I just don't want to see
Owen's junk.
380
00:18:34,276 --> 00:18:36,144
Then, you should wait
in the other room!
381
00:18:38,481 --> 00:18:40,415
And the returns
are coming in for one of
382
00:18:40,449 --> 00:18:42,851
the lowest-turnout elections in
Pittsburgh municipal history.
383
00:18:42,886 --> 00:18:44,786
Oh, damn.
Was that today?
384
00:18:46,355 --> 00:18:47,923
Hank, who did you vote for?
385
00:18:47,957 --> 00:18:49,725
Uh, I kind of skipped.
386
00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:53,428
I mean, it was raining,
and I'm having a good hair day.
387
00:18:53,462 --> 00:18:55,931
Are you guys nervous?
388
00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:58,901
Nope.
We don't care who wins.
389
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:02,370
No matter what happens, it's
going to be a Sullivan seat.
390
00:19:02,405 --> 00:19:04,105
And in Pittsburgh's
19th district,
391
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:06,374
a familiar name has won
the open seat
392
00:19:06,409 --> 00:19:10,311
created by councilman Ryan,
who died tragically at 97.
393
00:19:10,346 --> 00:19:13,782
You can't die tragically at 97.
394
00:19:13,816 --> 00:19:15,483
That's known as a good run.
395
00:19:15,518 --> 00:19:19,120
The new councilman
is Bill Ryan,
396
00:19:19,155 --> 00:19:20,822
councilman Ryan's brother.
397
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:22,457
His brother?!
398
00:19:22,525 --> 00:19:25,293
That's right, ass-hats!
I won!
399
00:19:26,996 --> 00:19:29,898
You guys thought
you had it all sewed up.
400
00:19:29,933 --> 00:19:34,369
But it's still a Ryan seat,
and it always will be.
401
00:19:34,403 --> 00:19:37,105
Well, I'm sorry, dad.
402
00:19:37,139 --> 00:19:39,975
I split the vote.
It's my fault.
403
00:19:40,043 --> 00:19:43,244
I'm sorry you lost.
404
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:47,549
Hey, I promised my father
I'd run, and I kept my promise.
405
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:50,418
And as far as losing,
I didn't lose...
406
00:19:50,453 --> 00:19:53,021
Because I've got you.
407
00:19:53,056 --> 00:19:54,522
And I've got my family.
408
00:19:54,557 --> 00:19:57,793
And I'm surrounded
by my friends.
409
00:19:57,827 --> 00:20:00,161
And that guy Ryan,
he died alone in a bar.
410
00:20:00,196 --> 00:20:02,197
That's not the way
I'm going to go.
411
00:20:02,264 --> 00:20:05,433
No, you're going to die with me
standing over you saying,
412
00:20:05,468 --> 00:20:07,402
"hurry up.
They need the bed."
413
00:20:09,072 --> 00:20:12,007
What?
That's a harsh truth.
414
00:20:13,843 --> 00:20:16,044
Well, congratulations,
councilman.
415
00:20:16,079 --> 00:20:18,880
We'll have to get together.
416
00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:22,350
How's your vision?
417
00:20:22,384 --> 00:20:24,252
Pretty good, fella.
418
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,700
Hey. We're ready.
419
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,335
Yeah,
we're totally down for this.
420
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,305
Oh.
Guys, change of plans.
421
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:41,607
What?
422
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:46,344
You heard the lady,
fellas! Scram!
423
00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,179
Hank?
424
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:50,348
I guess opposites attract.
425
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:54,452
There's a lesson here, boys.
Be honest and firm.
426
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,221
And thanks to this pill
I just took,
427
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,391
I'm at least one of those.
428
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,492
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
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