All language subtitles for Dads Army s09e06 Never too Old.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,705 --> 00:00:07,937 Who do you thInk you are kIddIng, Mr HItler 2 00:00:08,025 --> 00:00:12,098 If you thInk we're on the run? 3 00:00:13,185 --> 00:00:17,815 We are the boys who wIll stop your lIttle game 4 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:22,576 We are the boys who wIll make you thInk agaIn 5 00:00:22,745 --> 00:00:27,535 'Cause who do you thInk you are kIddIng, Mr HItler 6 00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:31,983 If you thInk old England's done? 7 00:00:32,545 --> 00:00:37,175 Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8..2 1 8 00:00:37,345 --> 00:00:41,941 But he comes home each evenIng and he's ready wIth hIs gun 9 00:00:42,185 --> 00:00:46,975 So who do you thInk you are kIddIng, Mr HItler 10 00:00:47,385 --> 00:00:50,741 If you thInk old England's done? 11 00:00:55,865 --> 00:00:58,174 Oh, hello, Mr Godfrey. 12 00:00:58,785 --> 00:01:01,538 You remember me? I'm Mrs Fox. 13 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:04,935 Oh, yes. Of course. Can I do anything for you? 14 00:01:05,025 --> 00:01:07,493 Well, I wanted to have a word with Mr Jones. 15 00:01:07,585 --> 00:01:11,294 They've gone for a march round the town. I'm afraid he'll be some little time yet. 16 00:01:11,385 --> 00:01:14,457 Oh, well, I promised to phone him at 8:00. 17 00:01:14,785 --> 00:01:17,936 But as I was passing I thought I'd put him out of his misery. 18 00:01:18,225 --> 00:01:20,659 Never mind. I'll phone as promised. 19 00:01:21,145 --> 00:01:22,498 -Bye. -Bye. 20 00:01:23,345 --> 00:01:27,782 Left, left, left, right, left, left. 21 00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:30,342 Right wheel. 22 00:01:31,305 --> 00:01:32,624 Platoon, halt! 23 00:01:35,025 --> 00:01:36,140 Left turn. 24 00:01:37,505 --> 00:01:39,541 Order arms. 25 00:01:41,505 --> 00:01:43,780 Stand at ease. 26 00:01:45,065 --> 00:01:46,384 Where's Corporal Jones? 27 00:01:46,465 --> 00:01:48,376 -Excuse me, Mr Mainwaring. -Yes. 28 00:01:48,945 --> 00:01:52,620 Remember when we came into the high street and you said right wheel? 29 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,054 He didn't. 30 00:01:59,585 --> 00:02:02,736 He walked straight on with a silly grin on his face. 31 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:05,904 -Did you notice this? -Yes, I did, sir. 32 00:02:05,985 --> 00:02:07,737 -Why didn't you tell me? -Well, I didn't want to upset you. 33 00:02:07,825 --> 00:02:08,940 Upset me? 34 00:02:09,025 --> 00:02:12,495 Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right. 35 00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:15,896 Right wheel. Left, right, left. Halt! 36 00:02:16,985 --> 00:02:18,054 Left turn! 37 00:02:19,385 --> 00:02:20,898 Order arms! 38 00:02:23,825 --> 00:02:25,417 Stand at ease! 39 00:02:25,985 --> 00:02:27,054 Evening. 40 00:02:29,705 --> 00:02:33,175 -Where have you been, Corporal? -I saw a little throstle bird, sir. 41 00:02:33,265 --> 00:02:37,861 And I said to meself, ''What a pretty throstle. Isn't life wonderful?'' 42 00:02:37,945 --> 00:02:41,062 And when I looked round you'd all gone and left me, Captain Mainwaring. 43 00:02:41,145 --> 00:02:44,774 My mind's usually full of warlike things, not birds. Fall out. 44 00:02:45,705 --> 00:02:49,380 -Come and see me in the office, would you? -Yes, of course, sir. Yes, yes. 45 00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:57,380 -I'm getting worried about Jones. Woolly-headed. -Yes. I had noticed, sir. 46 00:02:59,705 --> 00:03:02,219 If he doesn't improve, I shall have to replace him. 47 00:03:02,305 --> 00:03:05,661 I can't be expected to face a Nazi invasion with a woolly-headed corporal. 48 00:03:05,745 --> 00:03:06,894 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 49 00:03:06,985 --> 00:03:07,974 Come in. 50 00:03:09,265 --> 00:03:12,780 -Ah, it's you, Jones. I was going to send for you. -Yes, sir. 51 00:03:12,905 --> 00:03:16,136 Permission to have a heart-to-heart, man-to-man talk, sir? 52 00:03:16,745 --> 00:03:19,020 Yes, of course. Come in and sit down. 53 00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:22,017 All right, Jonesy. You sit down here. There you are. Have a seat. 54 00:03:25,865 --> 00:03:28,060 -Can I start? -Yes, of course. 55 00:03:28,665 --> 00:03:31,543 Have you noticed the spring in my step, Captain Mainwaring? 56 00:03:31,625 --> 00:03:33,422 I'd hardly describe it as that. 57 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:37,464 What about you, Mr Wilson? Do you see a glint or a gleam in my eye? 58 00:03:37,545 --> 00:03:41,299 Well, now that you come to mention it, Jonesy, you do look a little bit different. 59 00:03:41,945 --> 00:03:44,379 I have fallen in love, Captain Mainwaring. 60 00:03:45,465 --> 00:03:46,898 With a woman. 61 00:03:49,505 --> 00:03:50,654 I see. 62 00:03:50,745 --> 00:03:54,818 Sir, I have the honour to ask your permission to get married. 63 00:03:55,505 --> 00:03:59,293 -Well, it's really nothing to do with me, Jones. -Oh, don't say that, Captain Mainwaring. 64 00:03:59,385 --> 00:04:02,422 You're my commanding officer and my very help in trouble. 65 00:04:02,505 --> 00:04:04,939 Yes, but you're not in any trouble are you, Jonesy? 66 00:04:05,025 --> 00:04:06,856 Oh, no, no, no. 67 00:04:07,025 --> 00:04:11,621 You see, Jones, you're technically a civilian and free to marry when and whom you like. 68 00:04:11,705 --> 00:04:14,583 But do you give me your permission, Captain Mainwaring? 69 00:04:15,225 --> 00:04:19,013 -Oh, very well. If you want it, yes. Yes, all right. -Oh, bless you, sir. 70 00:04:19,105 --> 00:04:21,096 I knew you wouldn't let me down. 71 00:04:21,185 --> 00:04:23,301 He's a lovely man, isn't he? 72 00:04:23,465 --> 00:04:24,978 Who is the lady in question? 73 00:04:27,545 --> 00:04:28,739 Mrs Fox. 74 00:04:28,825 --> 00:04:30,178 Quite sure that you're in love with her? 75 00:04:30,265 --> 00:04:31,744 I'm besotted with her. 76 00:04:32,585 --> 00:04:34,177 That's not quite the same thing. 77 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:40,053 I see her face everywhere I go. I see it in the trees, in the hills. 78 00:04:40,545 --> 00:04:42,661 I even saw it yesterday on the gasworks. 79 00:04:44,505 --> 00:04:47,383 And every morning I see it on the pillow beside me. 80 00:04:47,945 --> 00:04:50,698 Not really on the pillow. You didn't think that, did you? 81 00:04:51,545 --> 00:04:55,140 And everywhere I glance, there she is, like a will-o'-the-wasp. 82 00:04:57,105 --> 00:05:02,737 -You're quite sure this isn't just a passing fancy? -Oh, no. It's definitely not a passing fancy. 83 00:05:02,945 --> 00:05:04,981 I've fancied her for 1 7 years. 84 00:05:05,065 --> 00:05:08,421 Jonesy, are you absolutely sure that you want to marry her? 85 00:05:08,505 --> 00:05:11,781 No, sir, no. I'm tortured by self-doubt. 86 00:05:12,425 --> 00:05:14,575 I'm only a humble butcher, you know. 87 00:05:14,785 --> 00:05:19,301 Is it true affection she feels for me? Does she love me for myself? 88 00:05:19,785 --> 00:05:21,855 Or does she love me for my meat? 89 00:05:29,105 --> 00:05:32,097 -When were you planning to get married? -Well, I don't know if she'll have me. 90 00:05:32,185 --> 00:05:35,336 -Well, you mean you haven't asked her yet? -Oh, yes. I've asked her. 91 00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:37,741 I've even offered her an ultimatum. 92 00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:42,382 She's supposed to telephone me up at 8:00 with the answer. 93 00:05:43,065 --> 00:05:46,216 Can I sit by the phone, sir? Let me sit next to the phone, sir. 94 00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:48,819 No, I'm sorry, you can't. I can't have you sitting next to me. 95 00:05:48,905 --> 00:05:51,294 Look here, Jonesy. Why don't you wait outside in the hall? 96 00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,580 And then when she calls we'll come and fetch you, all right? 97 00:05:53,665 --> 00:05:58,136 Oh, Mr Wilson. What would I do without your compromising suggestions? 98 00:05:59,825 --> 00:06:03,704 Well, sir, I shall be waiting on tenterhooks, sir. Thank you, sir. 99 00:06:04,225 --> 00:06:05,544 Thank you, sir. 100 00:06:09,985 --> 00:06:12,818 Dear, oh, dear. He's really got it badly, hasn't he, sir? 101 00:06:12,945 --> 00:06:14,173 Here he is. 102 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,741 -What did he say? -He said yes. 103 00:06:17,865 --> 00:06:21,062 He's a lovely man. He really is a lovely man. 104 00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:23,661 You nay have asked him. 105 00:06:24,105 --> 00:06:26,938 Mrs Fox is a fine, big widow woman. 106 00:06:27,025 --> 00:06:30,142 You should have taken her and hang the consequences. 107 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:32,860 Oh, I don't think there'd be any consequences. 108 00:06:34,225 --> 00:06:37,137 By the way, she called in just before you came back. 109 00:06:37,385 --> 00:06:39,535 She called in? What did she say? What did she say? 110 00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:42,822 She said, as she was passing, she'd put you out of your misery. 111 00:06:43,105 --> 00:06:45,938 Put me out of me misery? Well, what does that mean? 112 00:06:46,905 --> 00:06:49,703 They do it to dumb animals when they're past hope. 113 00:06:51,665 --> 00:06:55,624 She's going to ring at 8:00. I think it's going to be all right. 114 00:06:55,945 --> 00:06:57,617 Exciting, isn't it? 115 00:06:57,705 --> 00:07:00,777 Can I come to your bachelor party the night before the wedding, Mr Jones? 116 00:07:00,865 --> 00:07:03,584 Of course you can, Pikey. You can all come. 117 00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:05,542 Be a lot of bachelors there, won't there? 118 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:09,095 I mean, Mr Godfrey's a bachelor, I'm a bachelor, Mr Frazer's a bachelor. 119 00:07:09,185 --> 00:07:12,780 Yeah. But Mr Frazer hasn't always been a bachelor, have you, Mr Frazer? 120 00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:13,854 (LAUGHING SCORNFULLY) 121 00:07:13,945 --> 00:07:15,776 Aye, I have indeed. 122 00:07:15,865 --> 00:07:20,177 Mind you, I've never been wanting a lassie. 123 00:07:23,905 --> 00:07:28,581 Well, tell me, have you ever asked one of them and then she phoned up later and said no? 124 00:07:29,945 --> 00:07:33,415 As a matter of fact she said yes. For a while anyway. 125 00:07:34,345 --> 00:07:37,701 Aye, man. She was a fine lassie. 126 00:07:39,185 --> 00:07:43,303 She had long, sturdy legs. 127 00:07:43,665 --> 00:07:48,864 And she loved to tread the path by the high cliff 128 00:07:49,985 --> 00:07:54,422 with the night wind blowing through her tresses. 129 00:07:57,025 --> 00:07:58,174 One night... 130 00:07:59,425 --> 00:08:00,619 she never came back. 131 00:08:04,425 --> 00:08:07,223 It seemed she was blown over the cliff 132 00:08:10,265 --> 00:08:12,221 and carried out to sea. 133 00:08:13,225 --> 00:08:17,696 Every night I stood on that very cliff... 134 00:08:18,505 --> 00:08:19,779 and shouted, 135 00:08:21,945 --> 00:08:28,180 ''Jessie! Jessie, will you no come back to me?'' 136 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:34,453 But the wind just blew the words back in my face. 137 00:08:35,225 --> 00:08:38,456 They mocked me. Mocked me, do you hear? 138 00:08:40,185 --> 00:08:44,178 Many years after, I received a letter. 139 00:08:44,745 --> 00:08:46,144 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 140 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,259 It... 141 00:08:49,265 --> 00:08:54,385 I was sure that it was... Contained news of her. 142 00:08:56,625 --> 00:08:59,298 My fingers shook as I opened it. 143 00:09:01,185 --> 00:09:06,179 Aye, son. I still carry it here next to my heart. 144 00:09:06,425 --> 00:09:08,017 Your heart's on the other side. 145 00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:09,978 Be quiet. 146 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:14,703 ''Dear James, I shall always love you. I still wear your ring. 147 00:09:15,545 --> 00:09:20,255 ''I'm in Singapore and I want to come home and be wed. 148 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:23,581 ''Please send ?40. 149 00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:30,017 ''Yours forever, Jessie.'' 150 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:34,255 Did you send it, Mr Frazer? 151 00:09:35,185 --> 00:09:37,540 Away with you, boy. Do you think I'm made of money? 152 00:09:38,065 --> 00:09:39,214 (PHONE RINGING) 153 00:09:39,305 --> 00:09:43,093 There's the telephone. There's the telephone. Don't panic. Don't panic. There's the telephone. 154 00:09:43,185 --> 00:09:46,541 -Go and answer it. -It's Mrs Fox. It's for me. It's Mrs Fox. 155 00:09:48,705 --> 00:09:52,061 That's Mrs Fox. It's Mrs Fox. 156 00:09:52,385 --> 00:09:55,980 Hello, my darling. It's me. Are you going to give me the answer? 157 00:09:56,065 --> 00:09:58,659 And don't keep me waiting in suspense any longer. 158 00:09:58,745 --> 00:10:03,739 Because I love you and love you and love you. And I want to be with you forever and ever. 159 00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:06,614 Oh. 160 00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:10,855 It's the Colonel for you, Captain Mainwaring. 161 00:10:16,105 --> 00:10:19,575 Hello, sir. Mainwaring here. I'm sorry about that, sir. 162 00:10:19,705 --> 00:10:21,457 What'd she say? What happened? 163 00:10:21,905 --> 00:10:23,623 She turned you down? 164 00:10:23,945 --> 00:10:26,300 It wasn't her, but it will be in a minute. 165 00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:28,376 I wish he'd get off that phone. 166 00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:32,617 You going to be long on the phone, Captain Mainwaring? 167 00:10:32,705 --> 00:10:35,583 -Get out, Jones. -Very good, sir. Thank you very much, sir. 168 00:10:38,985 --> 00:10:42,455 Mrs Fox. She'll be phoning up in a minute, and all she'll get is the engaged signal. 169 00:10:42,545 --> 00:10:43,660 (PHONE RINGING) 170 00:10:43,745 --> 00:10:45,497 There's the phone. 171 00:10:45,585 --> 00:10:48,019 I see. Yes, of course. 172 00:10:49,145 --> 00:10:51,454 Yes. Hold on a minute. 173 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,822 Jones, I want you to keep very calm. This is for you. 174 00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,304 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 175 00:10:57,225 --> 00:10:59,978 Jack Jones... Jack Jones, the butcher. 176 00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:02,378 She wants me to sit down, sir. 177 00:11:02,465 --> 00:11:03,580 Give him a chair. 178 00:11:03,665 --> 00:11:06,133 All right, now. Sit down here, Jonesy. Come on, sit down. 179 00:11:06,225 --> 00:11:08,420 Sit down and try not to get too worked up. 180 00:11:08,505 --> 00:11:10,257 Oh, thank you, Mr Wilson. 181 00:11:10,665 --> 00:11:13,816 He's a lovely man. He really is a lovely man. 182 00:11:13,905 --> 00:11:16,021 Yes, yes. The phone. 183 00:11:19,545 --> 00:11:21,581 I am now sitting down. 184 00:11:22,705 --> 00:11:23,774 Yes. 185 00:11:24,705 --> 00:11:25,899 Yes. 186 00:11:26,945 --> 00:11:28,094 Yes. 187 00:11:29,945 --> 00:11:32,061 Thank you for letting me know. 188 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:41,335 I'm trying to keep calm, Captain Mainwaring. I really am trying to keep calm. 189 00:11:41,425 --> 00:11:44,974 Now, never mind, Jonesy. Never mind. You know, it's not the end of the world, you know. 190 00:11:45,065 --> 00:11:46,657 -She's a lovely woman, you know. -Yes. 191 00:11:46,745 --> 00:11:48,622 She really is a lovely woman. 192 00:11:49,825 --> 00:11:52,897 It's no good. I can't keep calm. I'm gonna break. 193 00:11:53,105 --> 00:11:55,300 She said she loved me, you know. 194 00:11:56,185 --> 00:11:57,698 She said yes. 195 00:11:58,425 --> 00:12:01,735 I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox. I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox. 196 00:12:01,945 --> 00:12:05,415 I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox. I'm gonna marry Mrs Fox! 197 00:12:05,545 --> 00:12:07,263 (ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 198 00:12:11,185 --> 00:12:15,861 Yes. Very well, Mrs Fox. I'll call round tomorrow evening. 6:00. 199 00:12:16,505 --> 00:12:17,620 Yes. 200 00:12:18,225 --> 00:12:20,534 And you can rest assured that anything you say to me 201 00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:21,944 will be treated with the strictest confidence. 202 00:12:22,025 --> 00:12:23,094 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 203 00:12:23,185 --> 00:12:25,380 All right. Goodbye. 204 00:12:26,465 --> 00:12:28,933 -Come in. Oh, it's you, Wilson. -Yes. 205 00:12:29,025 --> 00:12:31,016 -Are the men gone? -Yes, sir. They have. 206 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,857 Did you want them? 207 00:12:33,305 --> 00:12:35,773 No, I didn't. But I did want to speak to you again about Jones. 208 00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:37,776 Yes. He is still rather excitable, isn't he? 209 00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:40,060 You'd have thought he might have calmed down after a week. 210 00:12:40,145 --> 00:12:42,978 Do you think I'm doing the right thing in letting him go ahead with this? 211 00:12:43,065 --> 00:12:45,260 Well, you have no authority to do anything else. 212 00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:48,178 On the other hand, it may work out all right, you know. 213 00:12:48,785 --> 00:12:51,822 -After all, they're both the same class. -Yes. 214 00:12:53,585 --> 00:12:58,136 -Do you really think class matters? -Oh, no question. No question about it at all. 215 00:12:58,905 --> 00:13:01,135 It's families that make the trouble. 216 00:13:01,225 --> 00:13:04,979 I had to contend with all sorts of snobbish rubbish when I married Elizabeth. 217 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,661 Did you... Did you, as it were, marry beneath you? 218 00:13:09,025 --> 00:13:12,062 Oh, no, no. No, the family rather thought that she did. 219 00:13:12,145 --> 00:13:13,134 Oh. 220 00:13:14,865 --> 00:13:17,174 She's very well connected, you know, Elizabeth. 221 00:13:17,425 --> 00:13:19,893 Her father was the suffragan bishop of Clagthorpe. 222 00:13:19,985 --> 00:13:21,304 Oh. 223 00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:24,934 -Was he really? -Led a very sheltered life, you know, Elizabeth. 224 00:13:28,545 --> 00:13:29,739 Funny. 225 00:13:30,145 --> 00:13:34,900 Do you know she hadn't even tried tomato sauce before she met me? 226 00:13:38,945 --> 00:13:40,617 I soon put that right. 227 00:13:41,665 --> 00:13:45,453 You know, marrying you must have opened up a whole new world for her. 228 00:13:47,065 --> 00:13:49,056 Oh, yes, I think it did. 229 00:13:49,825 --> 00:13:54,023 But I never felt... I never felt at ease with her parents, you know. 230 00:13:54,665 --> 00:13:57,737 Always got the impression they were looking down their noses at me. 231 00:13:57,825 --> 00:14:00,180 This was even after I'd become assistant manager. 232 00:14:00,265 --> 00:14:01,414 Weren't they impressed by that? 233 00:14:01,505 --> 00:14:02,494 (SCOFFING) 234 00:14:02,585 --> 00:14:05,338 Not a bit. It was quite a big branch, too, you know. 235 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,701 I had my own partitioned cubicle. 236 00:14:08,985 --> 00:14:10,259 Did you? 237 00:14:10,345 --> 00:14:15,578 Still, Jones and Mrs Fox won't be bothered with things like that, will they? 238 00:14:16,705 --> 00:14:19,060 Mrs Fox has asked me to go around and see her, you know. 239 00:14:19,145 --> 00:14:22,103 If it's a question of advice, I shall be noncommittal. 240 00:14:23,225 --> 00:14:27,059 -''Let no man put asunder,'' eh, Wilson? -Yes, quite right, sir. 241 00:14:27,265 --> 00:14:30,541 Marriage falls asunder quite easily anyway, doesn't it? 242 00:14:32,145 --> 00:14:34,101 Oh, no. Not in my case. 243 00:14:35,745 --> 00:14:38,054 I've had a very happy marriage. 244 00:14:39,785 --> 00:14:41,104 Very happy indeed. 245 00:14:44,545 --> 00:14:47,298 -That's all. -All right. Good night, sir. 246 00:14:47,385 --> 00:14:49,376 -Good night. -Good night. 247 00:14:51,905 --> 00:14:53,020 (DOORBELL RINGING) 248 00:14:53,505 --> 00:14:56,815 MRS FOX: Come in. It is open. Just give it a push. 249 00:15:04,465 --> 00:15:07,377 Mrs Fox? Mrs Fox! 250 00:15:09,265 --> 00:15:13,622 Oh, hello, Captain Mainwaring. My goodness, it's not 6:00 already, is it? 251 00:15:15,065 --> 00:15:19,820 -6:02, to be precise. -Oh, my clock's stopped again. I am sorry. 252 00:15:20,065 --> 00:15:23,137 Anyway, make yourself at home. I won't be a second. 253 00:15:23,225 --> 00:15:24,578 I'll leave the door open, 254 00:15:24,665 --> 00:15:27,896 so we can keep on talking while I'm getting dressed. 255 00:15:33,585 --> 00:15:38,022 -Look, I'll come back in five minutes. -Oh, no, no, no. Please don't go. 256 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:41,177 -I'm perfectly decent underneath. -Oh, I'm quite sure you are. 257 00:15:41,945 --> 00:15:44,743 -Please sit down. Please. -Oh, very well. 258 00:15:45,465 --> 00:15:46,614 There. 259 00:15:47,185 --> 00:15:50,257 I hope you don't mind coming to my little nest. 260 00:15:50,585 --> 00:15:53,224 It's humble, but it's all mine. 261 00:16:04,585 --> 00:16:08,624 I wanted a few moments alone with you before the others arrive. 262 00:16:08,705 --> 00:16:09,979 The others? What others? 263 00:16:10,065 --> 00:16:11,134 (COUGHING) 264 00:16:11,225 --> 00:16:14,023 Oh, Mrs Pike and Mr Wilson. 265 00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:17,573 Oh, my goodness. I've got a catch. 266 00:16:17,905 --> 00:16:19,497 Do you think that'll run? 267 00:16:20,585 --> 00:16:22,416 I don't know, I'm sure. 268 00:16:23,265 --> 00:16:25,904 Would you mind awfully if I didn't put them on? 269 00:16:26,225 --> 00:16:27,578 Not in the least. 270 00:16:28,225 --> 00:16:31,661 Well, I think a lady... I don't like to see a lady with bare legs. 271 00:16:31,745 --> 00:16:36,375 And, well, I think a ladder looks even more abandoned, don't you? 272 00:16:38,225 --> 00:16:40,295 Yes. Yes, I'm sure you're right. 273 00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:45,057 -I expect you're wondering what's on my mind. -Yes, I am. 274 00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:49,180 Well, you see, it's like this, Mr Mainwaring. 275 00:16:49,265 --> 00:16:53,816 I've always had what you might call a soft spot for you. 276 00:16:54,385 --> 00:16:58,537 And I've had a very high regard for you as well. Oh, dear. 277 00:16:58,865 --> 00:17:02,460 I'm not expressing myself very well, am I? 278 00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,903 Oh, Mr Mainwaring. 279 00:17:06,945 --> 00:17:07,980 Yes. 280 00:17:08,065 --> 00:17:10,818 You don't want me to beat about the bush, do you? 281 00:17:12,305 --> 00:17:17,015 -Well, I'm not quite sure. -Well, you see, I haven't got a father. 282 00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:20,142 In fact, I have no male relations whatsoever. 283 00:17:21,265 --> 00:17:24,575 -You wouldn't give me away, would you? -Wouldn't I? 284 00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:29,901 -At the wedding. -Oh, at the wedding. I see what you mean, yes. 285 00:17:29,985 --> 00:17:32,260 Well, yes, of course. If you want... If you wish me to. 286 00:17:32,345 --> 00:17:36,020 Oh, Mr Mainwaring. Oh, you are a darling. 287 00:17:38,465 --> 00:17:42,094 Oh, you've no idea what a weight that is off my mind. 288 00:17:42,225 --> 00:17:45,900 Look, I think I'll go and come back when the others are due to arrive. 289 00:17:45,985 --> 00:17:47,384 MAVIS: Cooee! 290 00:17:47,465 --> 00:17:50,059 -MAVIS: Are you there? -Oh, come in, Mrs Pike. 291 00:17:51,065 --> 00:17:53,738 Come along in, Arthur. Come in, Frank. 292 00:17:54,305 --> 00:17:56,182 -Good evening, Mrs Fox. -Good evening. 293 00:17:56,265 --> 00:17:58,335 -Good evening, Mrs Fox. -Oh, good evening, dear. 294 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:01,258 Take your hat off, Frank. Where are your manners? 295 00:18:02,985 --> 00:18:07,501 -You're here early, Mr Mainwaring. -No, no. No, I was punctual for my appointment. 296 00:18:07,585 --> 00:18:10,782 Mr Mainwaring practically caught me in the bath. 297 00:18:12,305 --> 00:18:14,455 That's somewhat of an exaggeration. 298 00:18:14,545 --> 00:18:16,740 I hope you don't mind me bringing Frank, 299 00:18:16,825 --> 00:18:19,976 but we don't like to leave him on his own when there's a war on. 300 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,978 -Do we, Arthur? -Well, I don't know. Yes... 301 00:18:24,065 --> 00:18:27,819 Take your scarf off. There are so very many funny people about. 302 00:18:27,905 --> 00:18:29,384 That's right, dear. 303 00:18:29,465 --> 00:18:33,856 Mum, what could funny people do to me if they found me on me own in wartime? 304 00:18:35,185 --> 00:18:36,743 Never you mind. 305 00:18:37,025 --> 00:18:40,620 -JONES: Cooee! Mildred! -Come in, Jack. 306 00:18:40,985 --> 00:18:44,660 -Hello, everyone. -Oh, don't move. Don't move. 307 00:18:44,905 --> 00:18:48,022 I want to remember you just standing there. 308 00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:50,774 Who, me? 309 00:18:51,025 --> 00:18:52,902 Isn't he lovely? 310 00:18:53,745 --> 00:18:56,339 -I'm sorry I'm late. -No, you're dead on time, Jonesy. 311 00:18:56,425 --> 00:18:59,656 Mr Mainwaring was here first. Had to help Mrs Fox out the bath. 312 00:19:01,025 --> 00:19:04,142 It was all quite innocent, wasn't it, Mr Mainwaring? 313 00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:05,544 Oh, totally innocent. Totally. 314 00:19:05,625 --> 00:19:09,300 Well, now Jack's here, I think we can start. Will you all please sit down? 315 00:19:09,385 --> 00:19:11,979 -Yes. Come and sit down, Arthur. -All right. Thank you. 316 00:19:12,065 --> 00:19:13,703 -Sit down, Frank. -Over here. 317 00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:15,013 -Yes. -All right. 318 00:19:15,345 --> 00:19:16,698 Thank you. 319 00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:21,540 -Sit down, boy. Sit down. -Sorry. 320 00:19:30,665 --> 00:19:32,303 What are you doing? 321 00:19:33,945 --> 00:19:39,224 Well, I'm very happy to announce that Mr Mainwaring is going to give me away. 322 00:19:39,305 --> 00:19:42,900 -Oh, very nice. -Frank, give over, dear. 323 00:19:42,985 --> 00:19:47,103 And Mrs Pike has kindly consented to be matron of honour. 324 00:19:47,265 --> 00:19:49,620 And Mr Wilson's going to be best man. 325 00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:52,173 -You're going to be best man? -Yes, that's right, I am. Yes. 326 00:19:52,265 --> 00:19:54,381 I hope you write everything down otherwise you'll forget it. 327 00:19:55,185 --> 00:19:58,097 Naturally we won't be having a white wedding. 328 00:19:58,385 --> 00:19:59,613 Why not? 329 00:20:01,865 --> 00:20:03,184 'Cause there's a war on. 330 00:20:03,905 --> 00:20:08,581 Now, the bride and the matron of honour will be in turquoise. 331 00:20:08,825 --> 00:20:10,383 Now, what about the men? 332 00:20:10,465 --> 00:20:14,458 Well, I'm going to be wearing my regimental regalia with medals. 333 00:20:14,545 --> 00:20:17,423 -Oh, that's very nice. -Yes. 334 00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:22,664 -I think all the men should be in uniform. -With medals. 335 00:20:22,745 --> 00:20:24,736 I don't think that's a good idea at all. 336 00:20:26,385 --> 00:20:29,900 No. No, you see, 'cause Mr Mainwaring and me haven't got any medals, have we? 337 00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:35,383 Arthur has. 338 00:20:38,665 --> 00:20:40,895 That's got nothing at all to do with it. 339 00:20:40,985 --> 00:20:44,421 -I just think people are getting tired of uniform. -Oh, I don't agree. 340 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:46,662 Let's put it to the vote. 341 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:50,579 Now, hands up for uniform and medals. 342 00:20:52,025 --> 00:20:53,743 Put your hand down, boy. You know... 343 00:20:56,425 --> 00:20:58,416 You still seem to be outvoted. 344 00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:02,813 Well, that's settled then. Now, the flowers. 345 00:21:03,425 --> 00:21:06,974 Here, Mildred. Can't you get out the bath on your own? 346 00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:10,057 Do I want to be wIth you 347 00:21:12,985 --> 00:21:16,136 Right. Everything's in order in the church. I've checked it myself. 348 00:21:16,225 --> 00:21:19,023 Wilson's job really, of course, but you can't rely on him. 349 00:21:19,105 --> 00:21:22,541 Hello, Napoleon. I'm just off to the church. Everything under control, is it? 350 00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:23,978 Of course. 351 00:21:24,385 --> 00:21:27,422 -I didn't know you'd been invited. -Of course I've been invited. 352 00:21:27,505 --> 00:21:29,097 I'm a friend of the bride. 353 00:21:30,785 --> 00:21:32,855 Mr Mainwaring, all the guests are already in church. 354 00:21:32,945 --> 00:21:35,505 Don't you think Mr Jones should get in there as well? It's five to. 355 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:37,143 -Five to? Is it so late? -Yes. 356 00:21:37,225 --> 00:21:38,374 Jones. 357 00:21:43,025 --> 00:21:47,257 There's no sign of Mr Wilson yet, and I'm getting meself in a state. 358 00:21:47,985 --> 00:21:50,453 Is it bad luck when the best man doesn't turn up? 359 00:21:50,545 --> 00:21:52,456 -It's damned inconvenient. -Yes. 360 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:53,614 You'd better get over to the church. 361 00:21:53,705 --> 00:21:57,061 It's all right, Mr Jones. He'll be here all right. He was ready when I left. 362 00:21:57,145 --> 00:22:00,455 Only, you see, he was rude to Mum, so she's had to put him in his place. 363 00:22:00,545 --> 00:22:03,537 Go over to the church, Mr Jones. The bride will be here any second. 364 00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:05,695 We don't want you meeting before the ceremony, do we? 365 00:22:05,785 --> 00:22:07,741 No. We don't want that, do we? 366 00:22:07,825 --> 00:22:09,861 Now, that is a bad omen. That is a bad omen. 367 00:22:09,945 --> 00:22:12,664 -Mr Jones, come on, the church. -Oh, yes. Right. 368 00:22:14,145 --> 00:22:17,933 Remember, I want a clear understanding. No confetti. 369 00:22:18,025 --> 00:22:21,176 Yes, I think we understand that, Mr Yeatman. Thank you very much. 370 00:22:21,545 --> 00:22:23,934 I'm terribly sorry if I'm a little bit late. 371 00:22:25,665 --> 00:22:27,542 I should jolly well think you are. 372 00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:29,778 Where have you been... 373 00:22:36,505 --> 00:22:37,620 What's all this? 374 00:22:37,705 --> 00:22:40,583 I know. I'm awfully sorry, sir, but you see, Mavis...Mrs Pike insisted. 375 00:22:40,665 --> 00:22:43,225 I'm wearing my uniform from the First World War. 376 00:22:43,305 --> 00:22:46,820 She found it in a... She found it in an old tin trunk. 377 00:22:47,945 --> 00:22:49,822 -It looks ridiculous. -Yes. 378 00:22:49,905 --> 00:22:53,659 Well, I wouldn't have dreamt of putting it on, but, I mean, she'd hidden my trousers. 379 00:22:54,425 --> 00:22:57,303 -An officer's uniform? -Yes, that's right. I was an officer. 380 00:22:57,385 --> 00:22:59,535 -You never told me. -Well, you didn't ask me. 381 00:23:00,265 --> 00:23:02,062 Anyway, it was unimportant. 382 00:23:02,625 --> 00:23:06,379 -These pips denote the rank of captain. -Yes, that's right. I was a captain. 383 00:23:06,545 --> 00:23:08,263 Well, I'm blessed. 384 00:23:09,265 --> 00:23:11,699 Doesn't count for anything now, you know. 385 00:23:12,385 --> 00:23:14,945 MRS FOX: Cooee! Are you there, Mr Mainwaring? 386 00:23:15,025 --> 00:23:17,175 -Look, you'd better go off into church. -All right. 387 00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:20,416 -Try not to make a fool of yourself. -Yes. All right, sir, all right. 388 00:23:24,025 --> 00:23:27,461 -Well, well. You do look a pretty pair. -Thank you. 389 00:23:28,105 --> 00:23:30,539 What a lovely bride you make, Mrs Fox. 390 00:23:31,025 --> 00:23:35,098 -Won't be Mrs Fox much longer. -No. No, indeed it won't. 391 00:23:35,545 --> 00:23:37,934 Right. Well, we're ready when you are, Vicar. 392 00:23:38,185 --> 00:23:39,743 Off we go then. 393 00:23:41,345 --> 00:23:43,984 Remember, I want a solemn undertaking. 394 00:23:44,065 --> 00:23:47,341 -No confetti. -Oh, come on, Mr Yeatman. 395 00:23:50,745 --> 00:23:52,542 Will you take my arm, Mrs Fox? 396 00:23:57,105 --> 00:23:58,584 -Mr Mainwaring. -Mmm? 397 00:23:58,665 --> 00:24:00,656 I think I'm going to cry. 398 00:24:01,425 --> 00:24:02,858 Oh, do try not to. 399 00:24:04,905 --> 00:24:06,463 (ORGAN PLAYING) 400 00:24:14,865 --> 00:24:16,423 Here they come. 401 00:24:16,785 --> 00:24:18,855 (ALL CHEERING) 402 00:24:22,305 --> 00:24:24,500 No confetti! No confetti! 403 00:24:24,585 --> 00:24:27,543 I'm gonna throw confetti, so ya-boo-sucks to you. 404 00:24:31,105 --> 00:24:33,619 -Here. -You! Don't be a spoilsport. 405 00:24:36,705 --> 00:24:39,697 Mr Yeatman, I thought you said no confetti. 406 00:24:41,545 --> 00:24:44,139 -I did enjoy that. -So did I. 407 00:24:44,225 --> 00:24:47,058 It's a pagan ceremony. 408 00:24:47,185 --> 00:24:50,655 And in their case, I should have thought a complete waste of time. 409 00:24:50,745 --> 00:24:53,259 Captain Mainwaring, sir. Captain Mainwaring. 410 00:24:53,345 --> 00:24:54,824 The Colonel's just been on the phone, sir. 411 00:24:54,905 --> 00:24:57,863 He wants you to put the platoon on 30 minutes standby. 412 00:24:57,945 --> 00:24:59,060 Thank you, Sponge. 413 00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:02,093 You hear that? 30 minutes standby. Must be something important. 414 00:25:02,185 --> 00:25:03,379 Well, we're all here. 415 00:25:03,465 --> 00:25:04,944 I would keep it under our hats for the time being. 416 00:25:05,025 --> 00:25:06,583 But I think we ought to push things along, don't you? 417 00:25:06,665 --> 00:25:07,734 -Right, sir. -Start the speeches. 418 00:25:07,825 --> 00:25:09,463 -Right, sir. Yes, of course. -Keep yours short. 419 00:25:09,545 --> 00:25:10,864 -Yes, I will. Yes. -Don't get drunk. 420 00:25:10,945 --> 00:25:12,094 What? 421 00:25:13,625 --> 00:25:15,695 Would you like one of these, Miss Godfrey? It's cider. 422 00:25:15,785 --> 00:25:16,820 Thank you. 423 00:25:16,905 --> 00:25:19,465 -I hope it won't make us tipsy. -No... 424 00:25:19,865 --> 00:25:22,459 -Here's to the bride and groom. -The bride and groom. 425 00:25:22,545 --> 00:25:24,342 Probably your turn next, Mr Godfrey. 426 00:25:25,785 --> 00:25:28,822 Charles nearly got married once, didn't you, Charles? 427 00:25:28,905 --> 00:25:31,260 -I wanted to. -It would never have done. 428 00:25:31,345 --> 00:25:33,381 Her parents lived in a bungalow. 429 00:25:34,425 --> 00:25:37,735 She married a farmer. I see her from time to time. 430 00:25:37,825 --> 00:25:39,019 Do you? 431 00:25:39,265 --> 00:25:41,654 -She's a widow now. -Is she? 432 00:25:41,745 --> 00:25:43,098 Have another one, Miss Godfrey. 433 00:25:43,185 --> 00:25:44,220 (GAVEL POUNDING) 434 00:25:44,785 --> 00:25:47,015 May I have your attention, please? 435 00:25:47,425 --> 00:25:51,418 Pray, silence for Captain Mainwaring, who is acting as the bride's father. 436 00:25:57,225 --> 00:26:00,422 Ladies and gentlemen, Jack and... 437 00:26:00,745 --> 00:26:02,622 (STAMMERING) Mildred. 438 00:26:04,505 --> 00:26:06,655 -I'm not going to make a long speech. -Good. 439 00:26:10,505 --> 00:26:13,463 I've known Jack for many years... 440 00:26:14,505 --> 00:26:15,654 and he's the salt of the earth. 441 00:26:15,745 --> 00:26:16,734 WILSON: Hear, hear. Yes. 442 00:26:17,265 --> 00:26:19,415 He's loyal, he's brave 443 00:26:20,145 --> 00:26:21,897 and he's very kind. 444 00:26:22,425 --> 00:26:26,941 And I have no hesitation saying to you, uh...Mildred, 445 00:26:28,905 --> 00:26:32,215 that he's the first man you should turn to if you're in any sort of trouble. 446 00:26:32,305 --> 00:26:34,455 Oh, she's not in trouble, Captain Mainwaring. 447 00:26:37,425 --> 00:26:39,700 I wish you both the very best of luck, 448 00:26:39,785 --> 00:26:44,905 and may you be as happy as I have been with my own dear wife, 449 00:26:44,985 --> 00:26:47,453 who unfortunately can't be with us this afternoon. 450 00:26:47,545 --> 00:26:50,105 -Where is she, then? -She's staying with her sister. 451 00:26:52,385 --> 00:26:55,741 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jack and...and Mildred. 452 00:26:55,945 --> 00:26:57,617 Jack and Mildred. 453 00:26:58,145 --> 00:27:00,420 WILSON: Speech. Come on, give us a speech. Come on. 454 00:27:00,505 --> 00:27:02,894 ALL: (CHANTING) Speech! 455 00:27:02,985 --> 00:27:05,738 -You've got to give the speech. You, you. -Oh. Oh. 456 00:27:06,305 --> 00:27:07,533 Ladies and gentlemen, 457 00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:11,903 I'd like to thank Captain Mainwaring for saying all those kind things, 458 00:27:11,985 --> 00:27:16,501 and also for standing in as the bride's father, which he isn't. 459 00:27:17,865 --> 00:27:21,494 And thank you all for coming along, and good health, everyone. 460 00:27:21,585 --> 00:27:23,860 -Good health. -WILSON: Good luck to you. 461 00:27:25,465 --> 00:27:27,103 -Your turn now, Wilson. -What? 462 00:27:27,865 --> 00:27:30,333 -Keep it short. -But I don't have to speak at all. 463 00:27:30,425 --> 00:27:33,303 Yes, you do. You have to toast the matron of honour. 464 00:27:34,945 --> 00:27:38,984 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr... Cap... Sergeant Wilson... 465 00:27:40,505 --> 00:27:42,177 will now say a few words. 466 00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,695 Thank you very much indeed, everybody. But... 467 00:27:44,785 --> 00:27:48,983 It's my pleasure to propose the toast of the bridesmaid 468 00:27:49,385 --> 00:27:51,182 or the matron of honour, I should say. 469 00:27:52,025 --> 00:27:55,574 A lady whom I've known for a considerable number of years. 470 00:27:58,065 --> 00:28:02,900 Mavis, you are one of that happy band of women 471 00:28:03,425 --> 00:28:08,863 who give out so much affection and so much love which you don't always get in return. 472 00:28:09,465 --> 00:28:11,183 Anyway, I... 473 00:28:12,185 --> 00:28:15,063 I think that hat you're wearing is very pretty. I like it. 474 00:28:15,625 --> 00:28:21,461 Anyway, I'd like to propose now the health of the matron of honour. 475 00:28:22,145 --> 00:28:24,295 ALL: Matron of honour. MRS JONES: Mrs Pike. 476 00:28:24,385 --> 00:28:26,182 We haven't cut the cake. Whatever next? 477 00:28:27,385 --> 00:28:30,616 We'd forget our heads if they weren't screwed on, wouldn't we? 478 00:28:30,705 --> 00:28:32,024 Now, where's my bayonet? 479 00:28:32,105 --> 00:28:34,016 -Captain Mainwaring, sir. Captain Mainwaring. -Yes. 480 00:28:34,105 --> 00:28:36,619 Colonel's on the phone again. He wants to speak to you personally. 481 00:28:36,705 --> 00:28:37,899 WILSON: Yes, come along here. 482 00:28:37,985 --> 00:28:39,896 Gather round, gentlemen, have some cake. 483 00:28:39,985 --> 00:28:42,374 Yes. Cake. 484 00:28:44,825 --> 00:28:45,814 Here we are. 485 00:28:45,905 --> 00:28:48,055 -Now, here we go. -No, no, no, no! 486 00:28:48,145 --> 00:28:50,454 Oh, no, that's only cardboard. 487 00:28:59,265 --> 00:29:01,779 There is a war on, you know. 488 00:29:03,865 --> 00:29:06,299 -Hello, sir. Mainwaring here. -Mainwaring. 489 00:29:06,825 --> 00:29:08,736 Everything's a bit confused here. 490 00:29:08,825 --> 00:29:11,737 -But all units are standing by immediately. -Good Lord. 491 00:29:11,945 --> 00:29:14,778 -Does that mean the balloon's gone up? -Well, not exactly, 492 00:29:14,865 --> 00:29:17,333 but barges are moving around the North Sea coast, 493 00:29:17,465 --> 00:29:19,820 and the weather's right, so we can't take any chances. 494 00:29:19,905 --> 00:29:22,544 Right, sir. I'll put my men at action stations at once. 495 00:29:22,625 --> 00:29:24,138 -Good luck. -Thank you, sir. 496 00:29:31,905 --> 00:29:34,942 -Ladies and gentlemen, please. Order, please. -FRAZER: Quiet, quiet. 497 00:29:35,025 --> 00:29:36,014 Please. 498 00:29:36,105 --> 00:29:37,220 (KNOCKING ON TABLE) 499 00:29:37,305 --> 00:29:39,500 May I just have your attention for a moment? 500 00:29:40,145 --> 00:29:41,658 There's no cause for alarm, 501 00:29:41,745 --> 00:29:45,533 but I want all members of the Home Guard to parade outside in the yard immediately, please. 502 00:29:45,625 --> 00:29:46,660 (EXCLAIMING DISAPPOINTEDLY) 503 00:29:46,745 --> 00:29:50,101 Quickly as you can. Pick up your rifles on the way. 504 00:29:50,745 --> 00:29:54,021 -What's going on, Napoleon? -You'd better contact your headquarters at once. 505 00:29:54,105 --> 00:29:55,663 There's an invasion alert on. 506 00:29:56,505 --> 00:29:59,258 There'll always be an England 507 00:30:00,865 --> 00:30:04,778 WhIle there's a country lane 508 00:30:07,185 --> 00:30:11,736 Bet you didn't think you were gonna spend your wedding night with me, did you, Mr Jones? 509 00:30:13,025 --> 00:30:14,936 No, I did not, Pikey. 510 00:30:16,745 --> 00:30:19,259 You were going to the Esplanade Hotel, Eastgate, weren't you? 511 00:30:19,345 --> 00:30:20,334 Yes. 512 00:30:20,425 --> 00:30:23,462 Never mind. Duty comes first. 513 00:30:24,265 --> 00:30:26,904 I wonder if they'd give me the deposit back on the room. 514 00:30:28,665 --> 00:30:33,295 -Halt! Who goes there? -It's me. Mrs Jones. 515 00:30:33,705 --> 00:30:35,935 Mrs Jones? I don't know no Mrs Jones. 516 00:30:36,905 --> 00:30:38,816 It's me, Jack. Me. 517 00:30:39,865 --> 00:30:44,939 -Oh, Mrs Jones, the butcher's wife. Yes. -I thought I'd come and sit with you a while. 518 00:30:45,025 --> 00:30:46,538 Oh, that's a good idea. 519 00:30:46,865 --> 00:30:49,698 Here, Pikey, you keep a good lookout, 520 00:30:50,065 --> 00:30:53,819 and me and the missus will go and sit down and have a nice little chat. 521 00:30:54,145 --> 00:30:55,817 A nice little cuddle and all. 522 00:30:56,665 --> 00:31:00,624 Nothing like that, Pikey. Come on. Come on, my precious. 523 00:31:02,465 --> 00:31:04,023 That's right. 524 00:31:04,585 --> 00:31:05,904 Oh, Jack. 525 00:31:08,625 --> 00:31:10,741 When this is all over, Jack, 526 00:31:10,865 --> 00:31:14,460 -can we go and live in a little cottage? -Yes. 527 00:31:14,665 --> 00:31:17,896 -With roses round the door. -Oh, yes. 528 00:31:18,025 --> 00:31:20,380 And a big fridge in the kitchen. 529 00:31:21,425 --> 00:31:23,655 What would we want a big fridge for? 530 00:31:23,745 --> 00:31:26,259 To keep all the big joints of meat in. 531 00:31:26,825 --> 00:31:31,137 -Well, after the war. -Oh, yes. After the war. 532 00:31:32,185 --> 00:31:35,700 Not that we won't have a joint or two before then, of course. 533 00:31:39,185 --> 00:31:40,698 Halt! Who goes there? 534 00:31:40,985 --> 00:31:43,818 MAINWARING: All right, Pike. Well done. It's only us. 535 00:31:44,465 --> 00:31:47,059 -Any sign of anything? -No, it's been ever so quiet. 536 00:31:47,145 --> 00:31:50,262 -Where's Corporal Jones? -Where he should be on his wedding night. 537 00:31:50,865 --> 00:31:51,980 With his bride. 538 00:31:52,065 --> 00:31:53,134 (SNICKERING) 539 00:31:55,665 --> 00:31:57,223 You stupid boy. 540 00:31:58,425 --> 00:31:59,824 Here I am, Captain Mainwaring. 541 00:31:59,905 --> 00:32:02,294 I've just been having a little chat with me and the wife, you know. 542 00:32:02,385 --> 00:32:05,775 I kept ever so alert, though. I've just sent her home. 543 00:32:06,065 --> 00:32:07,293 Yes, that's all right, Jones. 544 00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:08,818 Now, Sergeant Wilson has found a bottle of champagne, 545 00:32:08,905 --> 00:32:10,702 so we thought we'd come and drink your health. 546 00:32:10,785 --> 00:32:12,980 -JONES: Oh, that's good, isn't it? -Hand the glasses round. 547 00:32:13,065 --> 00:32:14,817 Well, I haven't brought any glasses, sir. 548 00:32:16,225 --> 00:32:17,658 What's the good of champagne without glasses? 549 00:32:17,745 --> 00:32:19,815 Well, I thought you said you were going to bring the glasses. 550 00:32:19,905 --> 00:32:21,338 Where would I find glasses? 551 00:32:21,425 --> 00:32:22,653 Hold on, hold on. 552 00:32:22,745 --> 00:32:26,260 There's a couple of mugs here I brought for our cocoa. You can use them. 553 00:32:26,345 --> 00:32:27,983 -Oh, well, I... -I've got my medicine glass. 554 00:32:28,065 --> 00:32:30,625 Yes, well, I suppose that'll have to do then. All right. 555 00:32:30,705 --> 00:32:32,184 -Pour it out. -All right. 556 00:32:33,025 --> 00:32:34,424 There we are, Jonesy. 557 00:32:34,505 --> 00:32:38,054 Keep a good lookout over the sea, boy. You're too young for champagne, anyway. 558 00:32:41,385 --> 00:32:44,104 -Oh, thank you. -Hello, what are you lot doing here? 559 00:32:44,865 --> 00:32:48,335 In case you'd forgotten, there's an invasion alert on. 560 00:32:48,425 --> 00:32:50,461 Haven't you heard? It was a false alarm. 561 00:32:50,545 --> 00:32:54,254 -We got the stand-down half an hour ago. -So Hitler won't be joining us tonight then? 562 00:32:54,345 --> 00:32:56,256 No. Just as well with you lot guarding us. 563 00:32:56,345 --> 00:32:57,334 (HODGES LAUGHING) 564 00:32:57,425 --> 00:33:00,303 -What does that mean? -Well, I mean, look at you. 565 00:33:00,745 --> 00:33:03,339 What good would you be against real soldiers? 566 00:33:03,425 --> 00:33:04,938 (HODGES SNICKERING) 567 00:33:06,265 --> 00:33:09,302 They'd walk straight through you. Good night. 568 00:33:12,345 --> 00:33:15,337 -Here, he has no business to... -All right, all right. 569 00:33:15,705 --> 00:33:18,777 Don't take any notice of him, men. Here's to your future health. 570 00:33:18,865 --> 00:33:21,618 -Yes, here's to you, Jonesy. Good luck to you. -Here, Jonesy. 571 00:33:22,505 --> 00:33:24,018 -Mr Mainwaring. -Hmm? 572 00:33:25,145 --> 00:33:28,820 Warden wasn't right, was he, when he said the Nazis would walk straight through us? 573 00:33:28,905 --> 00:33:30,657 Of course he wasn't right. 574 00:33:31,265 --> 00:33:34,382 Well, I know one thing. They're not walking straight through me. 575 00:33:34,465 --> 00:33:35,454 Nor me. 576 00:33:36,465 --> 00:33:39,582 -I'll be beside you, Jonesy. -We'll all be beside you, Jonesy. 577 00:33:40,505 --> 00:33:43,099 We'll stick together. You can rely on that. 578 00:33:43,425 --> 00:33:45,620 Anybody tries to take our homes or our freedom away from us, 579 00:33:45,705 --> 00:33:47,502 they'll find out what we can do. 580 00:33:47,705 --> 00:33:48,820 We'll fight. 581 00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:52,778 And we're not alone. There are thousands of us all over England. 582 00:33:52,865 --> 00:33:55,095 -And Scotland. -And Scotland. 583 00:33:55,585 --> 00:33:57,303 All over Great Britain, in fact. 584 00:33:57,465 --> 00:33:59,456 Men who'll stand together when their country needs them. 585 00:33:59,545 --> 00:34:04,778 Excuse me, sir. Don't you think it might be a nice idea if we were to pay our tribute to them? 586 00:34:05,945 --> 00:34:08,459 For once, Wilson, I agree with you. 587 00:34:08,945 --> 00:34:10,936 To Britain's Home Guard. 588 00:34:12,785 --> 00:34:14,776 To Britain's Home Guard. 589 00:34:17,265 --> 00:34:18,414 (PIKE CHOKING) 590 00:34:18,464 --> 00:34:23,014 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 48780

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.