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1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:06,240
♪♪
2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,743
Ugh! This fry is still
frozen in the middle.
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,580
Whoa,
curly fries again?
4
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,348
Th--Those are
a dollar more.
5
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,184
How do you guys afford them
every day?
6
00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,119
Babysitting,
dingus!
7
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,054
You're all
babysitting now?
8
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:21,522
How come I didn't
hear about this?
9
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,291
Our apologies.
10
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:26,294
We must have been talking
about it in the curly fry line.
11
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,028
(all munching)
12
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:31,399
(laughter)
13
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:34,202
Why are curly fries
more expensive anyway?
14
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:38,406
'Cause you get
so much more fry.
15
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:41,142
And I'm not out of potato,
Steve.
16
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,410
I'm out of arm.
17
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,612
Billy,
come here!
18
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:47,981
Hello,
fellow babysitters.
19
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,383
Him, too?
20
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,253
Let's show Steve
what this fry can do.
21
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,288
Oh, hell yeah.
22
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,325
Let's blow this
tater hater's mind.
23
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,500
BILLY: I've reached the door.
24
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,137
-(door opens)
-BILLY: I'm going off campus.
25
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,438
(bus door opens)
26
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:13,341
I'm getting on the bus
to Chimdale.
27
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:14,642
Wow, I'm sold.
28
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,510
The curly fries,
the babysitting,
29
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,778
the whole damn thing.
30
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,012
Wrap it up,
I'll take it.
31
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,649
BILLY:
Do my eyes deceive me?
32
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:22,916
Billy?
33
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,353
Oh,
the wonders I've seen.
34
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,655
Crossed the Sahara on foot,
35
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,957
made love to an Eskimo,
36
00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,992
had a spicy soup.
37
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,695
I lived
a full, rich life.
38
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:38,199
And the fry
never touched the ground.
39
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,801
Not even
on my wedding night.
40
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:45,306
Or the day I buried my son,
Mitsuhiro.
41
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,941
But here's your fry.
42
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:51,479
(snap!)
43
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,981
(whistling)
44
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:59,187
I lost my flip-flops
over the Indian Ocean.
45
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,522
Not your
red Havaianas!
46
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:05,393
It was
the red Havaianas.
47
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,895
(patriotic music plays)
48
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:10,631
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
49
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:14,402
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
50
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:17,638
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
51
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:21,909
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
52
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:27,080
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
53
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,383
-♪ Good -- ♪
-♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
54
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,718
Aah!
55
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:35,389
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
56
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,891
♪♪
57
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,495
Listen up, because I'm only
going to say this once.
58
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:42,930
I have an interest.
59
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,598
Oh, that's great,
honey!
60
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,834
Oh, phew. I thought you guys
would think I was weird.
61
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:50,838
The CIA has an Exotic Food Club,
and I gotsta get in!
62
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:53,073
This club eats crazy stuff
and --
63
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,943
Stop right there...
I gotta hear more!
64
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,778
Well, in order to
gain membership,
65
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,448
I must present an exotic food
to the committee.
66
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,250
You probably won't
see me for a while.
67
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:05,586
'Cause if I get in, I'm going to
Mexico by myself to celebrate.
68
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,257
Looks like you and Jeff have
the house to yourself tonight,
69
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,758
'cause I have
Moms Club.
70
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,025
(knock on door)
71
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,895
(cheers and applause)
72
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:18,366
Was that "opportunity"
I just heard a-knocking?
73
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:21,735
Maybe you can spread the word
at Moms Club,
74
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,472
I'm getting into
the babysitting game.
75
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,540
No, absolutely not.
76
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,409
You're not ready
to babysit.
77
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:31,579
Wait, what? All my friends are
babysitting, why can't I?
78
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:34,081
You still have me
take your temperature rectally.
79
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,716
Yeah,
it's more accurate.
80
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,486
You panic easily,
you're neurotic,
81
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,288
you're afraid of
your own shadow...
82
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:41,755
Ha-ha, what?
83
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,957
M-Me and my shadow
are totally cool now.
84
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,326
Ah!
85
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:49,563
Please, Mom,
this means a lot to me.
86
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,599
Tell you what...
87
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:54,568
If you can tell me which hand
the strawberry's in,
88
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,305
you're ready.
89
00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,774
(scoffs)
I knew you weren't ready.
90
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,914
Whoa!
91
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,116
(click!)
92
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,452
That's how
you babysit.
93
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:13,754
Whoa,
a strawberry gun.
94
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,823
-HAYLEY: No, Jeff! Don't!
-(gunshot)
95
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,795
Thanks for your business,
Leo.
96
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,831
We'll get you there next time,
buddy.
97
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,933
I knew Leo wasn't
going to orgasm.
98
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,535
In fact,
I made sure of it.
99
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,103
He doesn't know, but I've been
working against him.
100
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,272
Leo's got it easy
compared to me.
101
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,774
Mom won't
let me babysit.
102
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,042
She keeps
treating me like
103
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,544
I'm still some helpless,
little child.
104
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,178
Kids are no joke.
105
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,514
I learned that the hard way
after Rogu was born.
106
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:41,782
You remember Rogu...
107
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,217
Rogu? Maybe? Rogu?
My baby!
108
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,186
Probably heard the rumor
that he used to be my tumor.
109
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,056
He's Rogu, my baby --
he's here!
110
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:51,525
Anyway, that little rhyme's
how I remember who he is.
111
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,194
Do you keep Rogu in the room
while you...?
112
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,630
Punch aluminum-siding salesmen
in the balls?
113
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,666
Yes, Steve.
But I always put Rogu
114
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:01,469
in the bath with his
favorite music. Hey, buddy!
115
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:05,539
♪ The itsy bitsy Rogu
was wearing his headphones ♪
116
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:09,343
♪ Because his dad was giving
a rusty trombone... ♪
117
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,645
This way, he has no idea
what's going on.
118
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:15,383
Rogu is Daddy!
119
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,217
Yeah...
120
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,253
maybe I should do my dates
outside the house.
121
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:23,156
I know! How about
you watch Rogu while I'm out,
122
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,658
and afterwards,
I'll tell Francine
123
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:25,926
what a great job you did.
124
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,327
She'll have to admit
you're ready.
125
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:28,762
That's perfect!
126
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,764
I-I can start tonight
while she's at her club.
127
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:34,101
Car go through tunnel.
128
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,037
Aww.
I taught him that.
129
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,206
(crying)
130
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,208
If he gets cranky,
just rock him to sleep.
131
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,411
Sleep fixes
everything.
132
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,178
(sighs, stops crying)
133
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:47,214
-Anything else?
-Three important rules.
134
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:50,451
Absolutely no candy,
no screen time,
135
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,453
and don't let him
look at my ant farm.
136
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,754
He didn't want to
chip in for it,
137
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,756
so he doesn't
get to enjoy it.
138
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,792
I'm off to Moms Club.
139
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:00,394
We're going to
the Sharks game.
140
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,029
Gettin' there early.
141
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:05,032
I heard they got a new
Port-A-Potty outside gate J,
142
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:08,101
and I'd really like to
break that thing in.
143
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,109
Now it's just
you and me.
144
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,711
Should I order us
some Domino's?
145
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:21,582
Rogu no do
chain restaurants.
146
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:25,653
-Seriously?
-Ha-ha, Rogu joke.
147
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,822
Rogu eat
from trash can.
148
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,324
♪♪
149
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,260
Stan, we're thrilled
you're interested
150
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,062
in the CIA's
Exotic Food Club.
151
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:38,065
But maybe we weren't clear
on what our objective is.
152
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,100
For example,
153
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,936
when my boy Wolfgang
auditioned for our club,
154
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,473
he brought in
deep-fried pigeon feet.
155
00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:46,974
Wait,
that's Wolfgang?
156
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,442
I assumed
you were Wolfgang.
157
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,743
No, I'm Dale.
158
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,745
Oh,
then who's Vorasmus?
159
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,814
She's sick.
Anyway, Stan,
160
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,851
you've brought in what appears
to be gas station coffee cake.
161
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,352
It's Entenmann's!
162
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:00,988
You're not getting it.
163
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,024
We told you to bring
something exotic.
164
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,359
Oh, I thought you said
"quixotic."
165
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:10,964
So you feel...that the
Entenmann's is quixotic?
166
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,634
Yeah, I was banking on no one
knowing what that meant.
167
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:14,868
Why don't I
just try again?
168
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,871
Stan,
leave the Entenmann's.
169
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,373
♪♪
170
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:23,544
Do you want more,
Rogu?
171
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,212
This means more.
172
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,548
Hey, Helen Keller.
Keep it down.
173
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,217
Me and my fellow code-monkeys
are mining for Bitcoins.
174
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,120
I got so many.
I'm gonna be so rich.
175
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,988
You're just
writing "Bitcoin"
176
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,389
over and over
in a Word document.
177
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:37,825
Okay, man,
178
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:40,460
one of us is drowning
in cryptocurrency,
179
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,963
and one of us is being paid
five bucks an hour
180
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,165
to watch
a farting tumor.
181
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,000
Actually,
I'm babysitting Rogu for free
182
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,401
to prove to Mom
I'm ready --
183
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:51,071
Oh, my God. I didn't ask
for your life story.
184
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,006
Unless you'd be willing
to sell it.
185
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:56,510
How does...
three Bitcoins sound?
186
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:59,312
This is a restraining order
against you
187
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:02,315
-from that girl who --
-Oh, man. I got hacked!
188
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,154
Unh-unh.
Roger said no candy.
189
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:12,726
(whining)
190
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,528
Okay.
191
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:18,732
But promise to tell Roger
how good of a babysitter I was.
192
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,236
(chokes)
193
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,905
Rogu! Rogu!
194
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,579
What the --
195
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:37,350
Oh, no!
That's why no candy?!
196
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,687
(groans)
197
00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,188
What the hell?!
198
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,455
I don't know why you're shocked,
man.
199
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:45,058
Rogu's crazy.
He does crazy shit.
200
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,431
When Roger said
not to feed them candy,
201
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,133
I didn't think
they'd multiply!
202
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,936
I think I know one way
we can fix this problem.
203
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,571
Really? What?
204
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,272
Are you sure you want to
hear about it?
205
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,741
Because you've gotten mad
206
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,475
when I've tried to
discuss this before.
207
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,412
Oh, my God. I'm not going to
that church with you, Klaus.
208
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,948
It's a cool church,
Steve.
209
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,583
The preacher wears jeans.
210
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,084
There's a rock band.
211
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,787
The preacher's wife
is a graphic designer.
212
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,156
Do you get the picture
I'm painting?
213
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,825
I-I'll just call Roger.
214
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,827
He'll know
how to defuse this.
215
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,662
(cellphone rings)
216
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:25,265
See!
I do have a girlfriend!
217
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:28,936
All those candles I bought
were for someone who exists!
218
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:32,439
So who's the liar now,
Brad?!
219
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:34,474
Damn it,
straight to voicemail.
220
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,276
Just call your mom.
221
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,512
She can't know I'm babysitting,
much less screwing it up.
222
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,114
Where did he
get that candy?
223
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:45,185
I keep loose gummy worms
under the couch cushions.
224
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:46,586
What? Wait!
225
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,661
Aaah!
226
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:58,198
Should we just call Terminix
and call it a day?
227
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:03,837
♪♪
228
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,940
♪♪
229
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,876
Klaus, we --
we got to do something.
230
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,277
I already did.
231
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:13,180
I gave the shy Rogu
a bottle to spin.
232
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,116
♪♪
233
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,484
-Oooooh.
-Oooooh.
-Oooooh.
234
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:20,854
♪♪
235
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,490
Rogu have errand
to run.
236
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,193
Oh, no!
237
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,328
Back inside, Rogu.
238
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:32,199
But Rogu have
score to settle.
239
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,669
They're all gone.
240
00:10:35,769 --> 00:10:37,137
They did it.
241
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:40,874
They finally moved
to big city.
242
00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,642
KLAUS:
♪ I have tons of boys ♪
243
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,578
Whoa. How did you get them
to calm down?
244
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,816
No thang, I just threw on
some random YouTube video.
245
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,251
First of all,
Roger said no screen time!
246
00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,854
And second, this is not random.
This is your song.
247
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:56,857
Steve, this song
belongs to the world now.
248
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,827
You saw what happened
when they ate candy.
249
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:02,195
God knows what your janky-ass
video will do to them.
250
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,998
KLAUS: Janky-ass?
Not according to the comments.
251
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:08,201
Listen.
VapePimp77 refers to it as --
252
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:12,072
"I make $200 a day
working from home."
253
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,943
Oh. My. God.
254
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,678
Yeah, that's pretty big
coming from VapePimp.
255
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,180
He's growing!
256
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,015
W-We got to
get him outside!
257
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,283
Come on, Rogu.
258
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,718
You want screen time?
259
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:29,757
Yes,
but better video.
260
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,524
KLAUS: Screw you, Rogu.
261
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,762
I make you all big, and now
you're shitting on my song?
262
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:38,431
Rogu want...
263
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,468
♪ And I gotta have a Nutri-Grain
bar and Mountain Dew! ♪
264
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,871
WOMAN: ♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
265
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,874
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
266
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,542
-♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
-Oh, balls.
267
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:53,213
KLAUS: ♪ Every day ♪
268
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,883
(crying)
269
00:11:55,983 --> 00:12:00,954
More.
More screen time.
270
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,824
Ooooh.
271
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,829
Well, that was crazy.
272
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,130
Want to go
grab a bite to eat?
273
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,498
This is terrible!
274
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,834
I just unleashed a monster
on our town.
275
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,169
Mom's never gonna
let me babysit now!
276
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:19,940
Yes, those problems are of
equal weight and importance.
277
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,009
We have to fix this.
Let's go.
278
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:26,013
I'm in, but we'll be having
a long talk later
279
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:27,781
about what you've done
to the lawn.
280
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,250
Shameful.
281
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,987
♪♪
282
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,156
Uh, excuse me.
I need an exotic dish
283
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,859
that will impress some
real adventurous foodies.
284
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,328
Those canned oysters
up there,
285
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,530
no one's ever adventured
to eat those.
286
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,932
That's pretty high.
287
00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:48,301
How are we supposed to
get those down?
288
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:51,872
Well, now they're too low,
Tom.
289
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,507
♪ Cut my life into pieces ♪
290
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,010
♪ This is my last resort ♪
291
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,646
♪ Suffocation, no breathing ♪
292
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:03,050
♪ Don't give a hoot if
I cut my arm bleeding -- ♪
293
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,985
Beep. Beep.
294
00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:08,856
-Car go through tunnel.
-♪ This is my last resort ♪
295
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,323
(gasps)
296
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:12,725
♪ This is my last resort ♪
297
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:18,531
♪♪
298
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,467
(screaming)
299
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,202
♪♪
300
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,537
Klaus,
my mom is at that game.
301
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,074
We have to get Rogu
away from there.
302
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,509
♪♪
303
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:30,978
I got it!
304
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,712
Hey!
305
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,814
It's okay.
We don't need it.
306
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,484
Chcka-chcka-boom-boomboom!
307
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,152
Uh-chunka-
chunkachunka-boom!
308
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,088
Splash!
Duka-duka-duka-duka!
309
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,590
Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo!
Boom!
310
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:44,858
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
311
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,760
See? It's working!
312
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,864
ROGU: Screen time.
313
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,766
♪♪
314
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,936
(crying)
315
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,770
(cheers and applause)
316
00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,507
(crowd gasping)
317
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,243
Look at this antique nickel
I found
318
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,578
at the bottom of
one of the toilets!
319
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,280
Look!
Excuse me!
320
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,282
Hello?
321
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:13,253
ROGER: ♪ Three blind guys,
three blind guys ♪
322
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,923
♪ Sperm in their eyes,
sperm in their eyes ♪
323
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,791
♪ This actually might be
my lucky day ♪
324
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:21,061
-♪ I'm taking their wallets
and running away ♪
-Daddy have voice of angel.
325
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:24,898
-♪ Three blind guys,
three blind guys ♪
-It's working!
326
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:28,635
ROGER: ♪ Rogu's in the bathtub
while Daddy's with a John ♪
327
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,637
♪ With a uh-huh here
and a don't stop there ♪
328
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,605
Yay, Daddy.
329
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,873
ROGER: ♪ "Oh, God!" ♪
330
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,775
Okay,
we can steer him.
331
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,310
Where the hell
do we want to go?
332
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,480
I heard New Orleans
is dank as hell.
333
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,383
Wait, Rogu likes
to be rocked to sleep.
334
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,218
Oh, perfect, and did you forget
335
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,988
that this nerd
is three stories tall?!
336
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,290
No, the Viking Ship!
337
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,392
We need to get him
on that ride!
338
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,962
Roger said
sleep fixes everything!
339
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,298
ROGER: ♪ Something something
La Cucaracha ♪
340
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:02,269
♪ Rogu's in the bathtub
while Daddy's with a John ♪
341
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,404
♪ With a uh-huh here
and a don't stop there ♪
342
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:05,638
♪ Here an uuughhh,
there an uggghhh ♪
343
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,574
♪ Everywhere an "Oh, God!" ♪
344
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:11,011
♪ Three blind guys,
three blind guys ♪
345
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:14,481
♪ Sperm in their eyes,
sperm in their eyes ♪
346
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,683
♪ This actually might be
my lucky day ♪
347
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:19,419
♪ I'm taking their wallets
and running away ♪
348
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:22,155
♪ Three blind guys,
three blind guys ♪
349
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,357
You did it!
350
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,259
I've used lesser occasions
than this
351
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,595
as an excuse to
break out the Cubans.
352
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:32,499
Steve, have you never seen me
smoke a cigar before?
353
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,701
You're in for a treat.
354
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,804
It's the CIA!
355
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,472
Where's the big one?
356
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,308
Ah, forget about him.
357
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:44,344
Bring me that
delicious-looking creature.
358
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:48,815
♪♪
359
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,683
No!
360
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,052
Rogu!
361
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:57,124
No, boy-whose-name-
I-didn't-catch.
362
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,532
This better be good.
I'm missing the halftime show.
363
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,134
Ronnie from "Jersey Shore"
364
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,569
is trying to drink a big thing
of salsa onstage.
365
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,071
(cheers and applause)
366
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,840
Ugh. "Where were you when
Ronnie drank the stuff?"
367
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,309
I was in the parking lot
with two nutsacks.
368
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,712
I'm sorry, Mom.
I really messed up.
369
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:23,016
Roger let me babysit Rogu
so I could prove to you I could!
370
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:24,884
And now
the CIA has him!
371
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,354
I knew
your ass wasn't ready.
372
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,089
The CIA, huh?
373
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:32,425
Lucky for you, I slap uglies
with a guy who works there.
374
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,527
Ugh, can't you call it
making love?
375
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,828
And can't you just
call him Dad?
376
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,864
I'm on the phone!
377
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:40,367
(cellphone vibrates)
378
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,735
I can see the glint
of the oyster can.
379
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,737
You sure you don't want
something else?
380
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,174
Wait, actually, do you have
that prehistoric fish,
381
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,709
the whatchamacallit,
the -- the coelacanth?
382
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,944
-Unfortunately, no.
-Did you check in the back?
383
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,547
-No, I never left.
-Then it's hole time, baby.
384
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,085
He's not answering.
385
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,287
Well, that's the risk you take
when you use a phone.
386
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,589
I'm out.
387
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,258
-(sighs)
-Don't worry, Steve.
388
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,628
You forget that I'm here
with...Moms Club.
389
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,363
Leave it to us.
390
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,964
But you said the same thing
391
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,534
when I found that lump
behind my ear...
392
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:16,603
and it just keeps
getting bigger.
393
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,438
Moms Club
will get to it.
394
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,907
Right after
we kick some ass.
395
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:26,313
♪♪
396
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,415
Moms Club!
397
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,317
Moms Club!
398
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:34,754
♪♪
399
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,256
Moms Club!
400
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,657
Oh, my God.
401
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:41,494
Yeah, Steve.
We're moms, but we're cool.
402
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,062
♪♪
403
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,732
Rogu,
are you in here?
404
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,734
♪♪
405
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,102
Cool.
406
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,470
Check it out.
407
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,738
(goofy voice)
I'm Doctor Fart Face,
408
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,673
and I need 10cc
of diarrhea.
409
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,575
Shh!
You're embarrassing yourself.
410
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,677
That's not what Doctor Fart Face
sounds like.
411
00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,780
Uh-oh. Steve's clearly lost
his funny bone.
412
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,150
We need to revive it.
Boop!
413
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:08,155
♪♪
414
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:10,290
Where's Rogu?
415
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,792
-D-Did you hurt him?
-It's hard to say.
416
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:15,027
You see, we jammed him
through a sausage grinder
417
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:17,096
and microwaved him
on the popcorn setting.
418
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,331
Mwah!
419
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,767
You ate him?!
Why?!
420
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,336
Because we're
the Exotic Food Club.
421
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:25,472
And there's nothing
more exotic
422
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:28,441
than that little
mutant of yours.
423
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,844
(crying)
424
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,846
I can't believe
he's gone.
425
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:37,284
I-I just -- I just wish
I could have done more.
426
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,722
More!
Rogu's still alive!
427
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,791
And I know how to
get him out of there.
428
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:48,395
Hey, Rogu.
You want some screen time?
429
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,564
WOMAN: ♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
430
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:56,803
♪ Nutri-Grain bar
and a Mountain Dew ♪
431
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,206
♪♪
432
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,375
No! I've never met a dish
I couldn't hold down.
433
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,977
That's, like, the coolest thing
about me.
434
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:09,081
♪♪
435
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,884
(screams)
436
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:15,922
Rogu, you're okay!
437
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:17,224
Ehh?
438
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,192
Yeah, I don't --
I don't want that.
439
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,761
Seriously.
Put it -- Just put it --
440
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,162
Put it down!
441
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:26,266
Now come here
and hug me.
442
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:27,667
Sorry, bud.
443
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,101
I wanted to
take care of you,
444
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:33,105
but Mom was right --
I'm clearly not ready.
445
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:38,077
Look, Steve, when I said
you weren't ready to babysit,
446
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:42,249
I guess I meant I wasn't ready
for you to babysit.
447
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,883
What?
448
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:47,720
See, once you're old enough
to take care of kids,
449
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,590
it means you don't need me
to take care of you.
450
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,627
Mom,
I'll always need you.
451
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,896
I mean, look how badly
I screwed this up.
452
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,765
Oh, Steve.
453
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,367
I'll make you a deal.
454
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,935
When I'm old
and my memory is shot
455
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,472
and I'm losing control
of my bowels,
456
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:10,377
I'll move into your home and
you can babysit me every day.
457
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:14,146
"Who peed on the couch," you'll
say, pretending you don't know.
458
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,416
And I'll blame it
on the wild dogs
459
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:19,619
I keep claiming to see
around the neighborhood.
460
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,654
Yay.
461
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:24,324
Canned oysters!
462
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:28,595
Aw, man,
I missed the entire meal?
463
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:31,831
More for me, I guess.
464
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,601
♪♪
465
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:39,138
Did Roger say anything
about Rogu and shellfish?
466
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,740
♪♪
467
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,909
(growls)
468
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,577
(gasps)
469
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,946
(roars)
470
00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:51,418
♪♪
471
00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,420
Steve! Steve!
472
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,755
You're not gonna believe it,
Steve!
473
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,690
The Sharks won!
474
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,092
They did it!
They won!
475
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,161
I'm a sports fan now.
476
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,163
Bye. Have a great time.
477
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:08,000
-- Captions by VITAC --
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