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1
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_
2
00:00:02,681 --> 00:00:05,330
♪♪
3
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:08,833
Ugh! This fry
is still frozen in the middle.
4
00:00:08,933 --> 00:00:11,670
Whoa, curly fries again?
5
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,438
Th... Those are a dollar more.
6
00:00:13,538 --> 00:00:15,274
How do you guys afford them every day?
7
00:00:15,374 --> 00:00:17,209
Babysitting, dingus!
8
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,144
You're all babysitting now?
9
00:00:19,244 --> 00:00:20,612
How come I didn't hear about this?
10
00:00:20,712 --> 00:00:22,381
Our apologies.
11
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,384
We must have been talking
about it in the curly fry line.
12
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,118
(ALL MUNCHING)
13
00:00:27,219 --> 00:00:30,489
(LAUGHTER)
14
00:00:30,589 --> 00:00:33,292
Why are curly fries
more expensive anyway?
15
00:00:33,392 --> 00:00:37,496
'Cause you get so much more fry.
16
00:00:37,596 --> 00:00:40,232
And I'm not out of potato, Steve.
17
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,500
I'm out of arm.
18
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,702
Billy, come here!
19
00:00:43,802 --> 00:00:47,071
Hello, fellow babysitters.
20
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,473
Him, too?
21
00:00:48,573 --> 00:00:51,343
Let's show Steve what this fry can do.
22
00:00:51,443 --> 00:00:53,378
Oh, hell yeah.
23
00:00:53,478 --> 00:00:56,415
Let's blow this tater hater's mind.
24
00:01:03,154 --> 00:01:05,590
BILLY: I've reached the door.
25
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,227
- (DOOR OPENS)
- BILLY: I'm going off campus.
26
00:01:08,327 --> 00:01:09,528
(BUS DOOR OPENS)
27
00:01:09,628 --> 00:01:12,431
I'm getting on the bus to Chimdale.
28
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:13,732
Wow, I'm sold.
29
00:01:13,832 --> 00:01:15,600
The curly fries, the babysitting,
30
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,868
the whole damn thing.
31
00:01:16,968 --> 00:01:18,102
Wrap it up, I'll take it.
32
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,739
BILLY: Do my eyes deceive me?
33
00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:22,006
Billy?
34
00:01:22,106 --> 00:01:24,443
Oh, the wonders I've seen.
35
00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,745
Crossed the Sahara on foot,
36
00:01:26,845 --> 00:01:29,047
made love to an Eskimo,
37
00:01:29,147 --> 00:01:31,082
had a spicy soup.
38
00:01:31,182 --> 00:01:33,785
I lived a full, rich life.
39
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:37,289
And the fry never touched the ground.
40
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:39,891
Not even on my wedding night.
41
00:01:39,991 --> 00:01:44,396
Or the day I buried my son, Mitsuhiro.
42
00:01:44,496 --> 00:01:47,031
But here's your fry.
43
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,569
(SNAP!)
44
00:01:50,669 --> 00:01:53,071
(WHISTLING)
45
00:01:53,171 --> 00:01:58,277
I lost my flip-flops
over the Indian Ocean.
46
00:01:58,377 --> 00:02:00,612
Not your red Havaianas!
47
00:02:00,712 --> 00:02:04,483
It was the red Havaianas.
48
00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,985
(PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
49
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,721
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
50
00:02:09,821 --> 00:02:13,492
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
51
00:02:13,592 --> 00:02:16,728
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
52
00:02:16,828 --> 00:02:20,999
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
53
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:26,170
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
54
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,473
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
55
00:02:28,573 --> 00:02:29,808
Aah!
56
00:02:31,142 --> 00:02:34,479
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
57
00:02:34,579 --> 00:02:36,981
♪♪
58
00:02:38,037 --> 00:02:40,585
Listen up, because
I'm only going to say this once.
59
00:02:40,685 --> 00:02:42,020
I have an interest.
60
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,688
Oh, that's great, honey!
61
00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,924
Oh, phew. I thought you guys
would think I was weird.
62
00:02:46,024 --> 00:02:49,928
The CIA has an Exotic Food Club,
and I gotsta get in!
63
00:02:50,028 --> 00:02:52,163
This club eats crazy stuff and...
64
00:02:52,263 --> 00:02:55,033
Stop right there... I gotta hear more!
65
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,868
Well, in order to gain membership,
66
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:59,538
I must present an exotic
food to the committee.
67
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,340
You probably won't see me for a while.
68
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,676
'Cause if I get in, I'm going to
Mexico by myself to celebrate.
69
00:03:05,816 --> 00:03:08,347
Looks like you and Jeff have
the house to yourself tonight,
70
00:03:08,447 --> 00:03:09,848
'cause I have Moms Club.
71
00:03:09,948 --> 00:03:11,115
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
72
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:13,985
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
73
00:03:14,085 --> 00:03:17,456
Was that "opportunity"
I just heard a-knocking?
74
00:03:18,186 --> 00:03:20,825
Maybe you can spread
the word at Moms Club,
75
00:03:20,925 --> 00:03:23,562
I'm getting into the babysitting game.
76
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,630
No, absolutely not.
77
00:03:25,730 --> 00:03:27,499
You're not ready to babysit.
78
00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:30,669
Wait, what? All my friends
are babysitting, why can't I?
79
00:03:30,769 --> 00:03:33,171
You still have me take
your temperature rectally.
80
00:03:33,271 --> 00:03:34,806
Yeah, it's more accurate.
81
00:03:34,906 --> 00:03:37,576
You panic easily, you're neurotic,
82
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,378
you're afraid of your own shadow...
83
00:03:39,478 --> 00:03:40,845
Ha-ha, what?
84
00:03:40,945 --> 00:03:43,047
M-Me and my shadow are totally cool now.
85
00:03:43,147 --> 00:03:44,416
Ah!
86
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:48,653
Please, Mom, this means a lot to me.
87
00:03:48,753 --> 00:03:50,689
Tell you what...
88
00:03:50,789 --> 00:03:53,658
If you can tell me which
hand the strawberry's in,
89
00:03:53,758 --> 00:03:56,395
you're ready.
90
00:03:56,495 --> 00:03:59,864
(SCOFFS) I knew you weren't ready.
91
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,004
Whoa!
92
00:04:06,104 --> 00:04:08,206
(CLICK!)
93
00:04:08,306 --> 00:04:10,542
That's how you babysit.
94
00:04:10,642 --> 00:04:12,844
Whoa, a strawberry gun.
95
00:04:12,944 --> 00:04:14,913
- HAYLEY: No, Jeff! Don't!
- (GUNSHOT)
96
00:04:18,731 --> 00:04:20,165
Thanks for your business, Leo.
97
00:04:20,265 --> 00:04:22,201
We'll get you there next time, buddy.
98
00:04:22,301 --> 00:04:24,303
I knew Leo wasn't going to orgasm.
99
00:04:24,403 --> 00:04:25,905
In fact, I made sure of it.
100
00:04:26,005 --> 00:04:28,473
He doesn't know,
but I've been working against him.
101
00:04:28,573 --> 00:04:30,642
Leo's got it easy compared to me.
102
00:04:30,743 --> 00:04:32,144
Mom won't let me babysit.
103
00:04:32,244 --> 00:04:33,412
She keeps treating me like
104
00:04:33,512 --> 00:04:34,914
I'm still some helpless, little child.
105
00:04:35,014 --> 00:04:36,548
Kids are no joke.
106
00:04:36,648 --> 00:04:38,884
I learned that the hard
way after Rogu was born.
107
00:04:38,984 --> 00:04:40,152
You remember Rogu...
108
00:04:40,252 --> 00:04:42,587
Rogu? Maybe? Rogu? My baby!
109
00:04:42,688 --> 00:04:44,556
Probably heard the rumor
that he used to be my tumor.
110
00:04:44,656 --> 00:04:47,426
He's Rogu, my baby... he's here!
111
00:04:47,526 --> 00:04:49,895
Anyway, that little rhyme's
how I remember who he is.
112
00:04:49,995 --> 00:04:52,564
Do you keep Rogu in
the room while you...?
113
00:04:52,664 --> 00:04:55,000
Punch aluminum-siding
salesmen in the balls?
114
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:57,036
Yes, Steve. But I always put Rogu
115
00:04:57,136 --> 00:04:59,839
in the bath with his favorite music.
Hey, buddy!
116
00:04:59,939 --> 00:05:03,909
♪ The itsy bitsy Rogu was
wearing his headphones ♪
117
00:05:04,009 --> 00:05:07,713
♪ Because his dad was
giving a rusty trombone... ♪
118
00:05:07,813 --> 00:05:10,015
This way,
he has no idea what's going on.
119
00:05:10,115 --> 00:05:13,753
Rogu is Daddy!
120
00:05:13,853 --> 00:05:15,587
Yeah...
121
00:05:15,687 --> 00:05:18,623
maybe I should do my
dates outside the house.
122
00:05:18,724 --> 00:05:21,526
I know! How about
you watch Rogu while I'm out,
123
00:05:21,626 --> 00:05:23,028
and afterwards, I'll tell Francine
124
00:05:23,128 --> 00:05:24,296
what a great job you did.
125
00:05:24,396 --> 00:05:25,697
She'll have to admit you're ready.
126
00:05:25,798 --> 00:05:27,132
That's perfect!
127
00:05:27,232 --> 00:05:29,134
I-I can start tonight
while she's at her club.
128
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:32,471
Car go through tunnel.
129
00:05:32,571 --> 00:05:35,407
Aww. I taught him that.
130
00:05:35,507 --> 00:05:37,576
(CRYING)
131
00:05:37,676 --> 00:05:39,578
If he gets cranky,
just rock him to sleep.
132
00:05:39,678 --> 00:05:41,781
Sleep fixes everything.
133
00:05:41,881 --> 00:05:43,548
(SIGHS, STOPS CRYING)
134
00:05:43,648 --> 00:05:45,584
- Anything else?
- Three important rules.
135
00:05:45,684 --> 00:05:48,821
Absolutely no candy, no screen time,
136
00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:50,823
and don't let him look at my ant farm.
137
00:05:50,923 --> 00:05:52,124
He didn't want to chip in for it,
138
00:05:52,224 --> 00:05:54,126
so he doesn't get to enjoy it.
139
00:05:55,727 --> 00:05:57,162
I'm off to Moms Club.
140
00:05:57,262 --> 00:05:58,764
We're going to the Sharks game.
141
00:05:58,864 --> 00:06:00,399
Gettin' there early.
142
00:06:00,499 --> 00:06:03,402
I heard they got a new
Port-A-Potty outside gate J,
143
00:06:03,502 --> 00:06:06,471
and I'd really like to
break that thing in.
144
00:06:12,845 --> 00:06:14,479
Now it's just you and me.
145
00:06:14,579 --> 00:06:16,081
Should I order us some Domino's?
146
00:06:16,181 --> 00:06:19,952
Rogu no do chain restaurants.
147
00:06:20,052 --> 00:06:24,023
- Seriously?
- Ha-ha, Rogu joke.
148
00:06:24,123 --> 00:06:27,192
Rogu eat from trash can.
149
00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:29,694
♪♪
150
00:06:29,795 --> 00:06:31,630
Stan, we're thrilled you're interested
151
00:06:31,730 --> 00:06:33,432
in the CIA's Exotic Food Club.
152
00:06:33,532 --> 00:06:36,435
But maybe we weren't clear
on what our objective is.
153
00:06:37,942 --> 00:06:41,306
For example, when my boy Wolfgang
auditioned for our club,
154
00:06:41,406 --> 00:06:43,843
he brought in deep-fried pigeon feet.
155
00:06:43,943 --> 00:06:45,344
Wait, that's Wolfgang?
156
00:06:45,444 --> 00:06:46,812
I assumed you were Wolfgang.
157
00:06:46,912 --> 00:06:48,113
No, I'm Dale.
158
00:06:48,213 --> 00:06:50,115
Oh, then who's Vorasmus?
159
00:06:50,215 --> 00:06:52,184
She's sick. Anyway, Stan,
160
00:06:52,284 --> 00:06:56,221
you've brought in what appears
to be gas station coffee cake.
161
00:06:56,321 --> 00:06:57,722
It's Entenmann's!
162
00:06:57,823 --> 00:06:59,358
You're not getting it.
163
00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:02,394
We told you to bring something exotic.
164
00:07:02,494 --> 00:07:04,729
Oh, I thought you said "quixotic."
165
00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:09,334
So you feel...
that the Entenmann's is quixotic?
166
00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:12,004
Yeah, I was banking on no
one knowing what that meant.
167
00:07:12,104 --> 00:07:13,238
Why don't I just try again?
168
00:07:13,338 --> 00:07:16,241
Stan, leave the Entenmann's.
169
00:07:16,341 --> 00:07:18,743
♪♪
170
00:07:19,516 --> 00:07:21,914
Do you want more, Rogu?
171
00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:23,582
This means more.
172
00:07:23,682 --> 00:07:25,918
Hey, Helen Keller. Keep it down.
173
00:07:26,018 --> 00:07:28,587
Me and my fellow code-monkeys
are mining for Bitcoins.
174
00:07:28,687 --> 00:07:31,490
I got so many. I'm gonna be so rich.
175
00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:33,358
You're just writing "Bitcoin"
176
00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:34,759
over and over in a Word document.
177
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,195
Okay, man,
178
00:07:36,295 --> 00:07:38,830
one of us is drowning in cryptocurrency,
179
00:07:38,931 --> 00:07:41,333
and one of us is being
paid five bucks an hour
180
00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:43,535
to watch a farting tumor.
181
00:07:43,635 --> 00:07:45,370
Actually, I'm babysitting Rogu for free
182
00:07:45,470 --> 00:07:46,771
to prove to Mom I'm ready...
183
00:07:46,872 --> 00:07:49,441
Oh, my God.
I didn't ask for your life story.
184
00:07:49,541 --> 00:07:51,376
Unless you'd be willing to sell it.
185
00:07:51,476 --> 00:07:54,880
How does... three Bitcoins sound?
186
00:07:54,980 --> 00:07:57,682
This is a restraining order against you
187
00:07:57,782 --> 00:08:00,685
- from that girl who...
- Oh, man. I got hacked!
188
00:08:03,022 --> 00:08:05,524
Unh-unh. Roger said no candy.
189
00:08:07,259 --> 00:08:11,096
(WHINING)
190
00:08:11,196 --> 00:08:12,898
Okay.
191
00:08:12,998 --> 00:08:17,102
But promise to tell Roger how
good of a babysitter I was.
192
00:08:19,071 --> 00:08:21,606
(CHOKES)
193
00:08:21,706 --> 00:08:23,275
Rogu! Rogu!
194
00:08:28,047 --> 00:08:29,949
What the...
195
00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:35,720
Oh, no! That's why no candy?!
196
00:08:35,820 --> 00:08:38,057
(GROANS)
197
00:08:38,157 --> 00:08:39,558
What the hell?!
198
00:08:39,658 --> 00:08:40,825
I don't know why you're shocked, man.
199
00:08:40,926 --> 00:08:43,428
Rogu's crazy. He does crazy shit.
200
00:08:47,037 --> 00:08:48,771
When Roger said not to feed them candy,
201
00:08:48,871 --> 00:08:50,473
I didn't think they'd multiply!
202
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:53,276
I think I know one way
we can fix this problem.
203
00:08:53,376 --> 00:08:54,911
Really? What?
204
00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:56,612
Are you sure you want to hear about it?
205
00:08:56,712 --> 00:08:58,081
Because you've gotten mad
206
00:08:58,181 --> 00:08:59,815
when I've tried to discuss this before.
207
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:02,752
Oh, my God. I'm not going to
that church with you, Klaus.
208
00:09:02,852 --> 00:09:05,288
It's a cool church, Steve.
209
00:09:05,388 --> 00:09:06,923
The preacher wears jeans.
210
00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:08,424
There's a rock band.
211
00:09:08,524 --> 00:09:11,127
The preacher's wife
is a graphic designer.
212
00:09:11,227 --> 00:09:13,496
Do you get the picture I'm painting?
213
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,165
I-I'll just call Roger.
214
00:09:15,265 --> 00:09:17,167
He'll know how to defuse this.
215
00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:19,002
(CELLPHONE RINGS)
216
00:09:19,102 --> 00:09:22,605
See! I do have a girlfriend!
217
00:09:22,705 --> 00:09:26,276
All those candles I bought
were for someone who exists!
218
00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:29,779
So who's the liar now, Brad?!
219
00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:31,814
Damn it, straight to voicemail.
220
00:09:32,442 --> 00:09:33,616
Just call your mom.
221
00:09:33,716 --> 00:09:36,852
She can't know I'm babysitting,
much less screwing it up.
222
00:09:36,953 --> 00:09:38,454
Where did he get that candy?
223
00:09:39,522 --> 00:09:42,525
I keep loose gummy worms
under the couch cushions.
224
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:43,926
What? Wait!
225
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:51,001
Aaah!
226
00:09:51,101 --> 00:09:55,538
Should we just call
Terminix and call it a day?
227
00:09:55,638 --> 00:10:01,177
♪♪
228
00:10:01,277 --> 00:10:04,280
♪♪
229
00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,216
Klaus, we... we got to do something.
230
00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:07,617
I already did.
231
00:10:07,717 --> 00:10:10,520
I gave the shy Rogu a bottle to spin.
232
00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:13,456
♪♪
233
00:10:13,556 --> 00:10:14,824
- Oooooh.
- Oooooh.
234
00:10:14,924 --> 00:10:18,194
♪♪
235
00:10:18,294 --> 00:10:20,830
Rogu have errand to run.
236
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:23,533
Oh, no!
237
00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:25,668
Back inside, Rogu.
238
00:10:25,768 --> 00:10:29,539
But Rogu have score to settle.
239
00:10:31,641 --> 00:10:33,009
They're all gone.
240
00:10:33,109 --> 00:10:34,477
They did it.
241
00:10:34,577 --> 00:10:38,214
They finally moved to big city.
242
00:10:38,314 --> 00:10:39,982
KLAUS: ♪ I have tons of boys ♪
243
00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:42,918
Whoa. How did you get them to calm down?
244
00:10:43,019 --> 00:10:46,156
No thang, I just threw on
some random YouTube video.
245
00:10:46,256 --> 00:10:48,591
First of all, Roger said no screen time!
246
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:51,194
And second, this is not random.
This is your song.
247
00:10:51,294 --> 00:10:54,197
Steve, this song
belongs to the world now.
248
00:10:54,297 --> 00:10:56,357
You saw what happened
when they ate candy.
249
00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:59,535
God knows what your janky-ass
video will do to them.
250
00:10:59,635 --> 00:11:02,338
KLAUS: Janky-ass?
Not according to the comments.
251
00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:05,541
Listen. VapePimp77 refers to it as...
252
00:11:05,641 --> 00:11:09,412
"I make $200 a day working from home."
253
00:11:09,512 --> 00:11:13,283
Oh. My. God.
254
00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:16,018
Yeah, that's pretty big
coming from VapePimp.
255
00:11:16,119 --> 00:11:17,520
He's growing!
256
00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:19,355
W-We got to get him outside!
257
00:11:19,455 --> 00:11:20,623
Come on, Rogu.
258
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,058
You want screen time?
259
00:11:22,158 --> 00:11:27,097
Yes, but better video.
260
00:11:27,197 --> 00:11:28,864
KLAUS: Screw you, Rogu.
261
00:11:28,964 --> 00:11:32,102
I make you all big,
and now you're shitting on my song?
262
00:11:32,202 --> 00:11:35,771
Rogu want...
263
00:11:35,871 --> 00:11:38,808
♪ And I gotta have a Nutri-Grain
bar and Mountain Dew! ♪
264
00:11:38,908 --> 00:11:41,211
WOMAN: ♪ Nutri-Grain
bar and a Mountain Dew ♪
265
00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:44,214
♪ Nutri-Grain bar and a Mountain Dew ♪
266
00:11:44,314 --> 00:11:46,882
- ♪ Nutri-Grain bar and a Mountain Dew ♪
- Oh, balls.
267
00:11:46,982 --> 00:11:50,553
KLAUS: ♪ Every day ♪
268
00:11:50,653 --> 00:11:53,223
(CRYING)
269
00:11:53,323 --> 00:11:58,294
More. More screen time.
270
00:11:59,355 --> 00:12:01,164
Ooooh.
271
00:12:04,434 --> 00:12:06,169
Well, that was crazy.
272
00:12:06,269 --> 00:12:07,470
Want to go grab a bite to eat?
273
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:08,838
This is terrible!
274
00:12:08,938 --> 00:12:11,174
I just unleashed a monster on our town.
275
00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:13,509
Mom's never gonna let me babysit now!
276
00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:17,280
Yes, those problems are of
equal weight and importance.
277
00:12:17,380 --> 00:12:19,349
We have to fix this. Let's go.
278
00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:23,353
I'm in,
but we'll be having a long talk later
279
00:12:23,453 --> 00:12:25,121
about what you've done to the lawn.
280
00:12:25,221 --> 00:12:27,590
Shameful.
281
00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:30,132
- ♪♪
- _
282
00:12:31,427 --> 00:12:33,496
Uh, excuse me. I need an exotic dish
283
00:12:33,596 --> 00:12:36,199
that will impress some
real adventurous foodies.
284
00:12:36,299 --> 00:12:38,668
Those canned oysters up there,
285
00:12:38,768 --> 00:12:40,870
no one's ever adventured to eat those.
286
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,272
That's pretty high.
287
00:12:42,372 --> 00:12:45,641
How are we supposed to get those down?
288
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,212
Well, now they're too low, Tom.
289
00:12:49,312 --> 00:12:51,847
♪ Cut my life into pieces ♪
290
00:12:51,947 --> 00:12:54,350
♪ This is my last resort ♪
291
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:56,986
♪ Suffocation, no breathing ♪
292
00:12:57,086 --> 00:13:00,390
♪ Don't give a hoot if I
cut my arm bleeding... ♪
293
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,325
Beep. Beep.
294
00:13:02,425 --> 00:13:06,196
- Car go through tunnel.
- ♪ This is my last resort ♪
295
00:13:06,296 --> 00:13:07,663
(GASPS)
296
00:13:07,763 --> 00:13:10,065
♪ This is my last resort ♪
297
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:15,871
♪♪
298
00:13:15,971 --> 00:13:17,807
(SCREAMING)
299
00:13:17,907 --> 00:13:19,542
♪♪
300
00:13:19,642 --> 00:13:21,877
Klaus, my mom is at that game.
301
00:13:21,977 --> 00:13:24,414
We have to get Rogu away from there.
302
00:13:24,514 --> 00:13:26,849
♪♪
303
00:13:26,949 --> 00:13:28,318
I got it!
304
00:13:29,314 --> 00:13:32,154
- Hey!
- It's okay. We don't need it.
305
00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:34,824
Chcka-chcka-boom-boomboom!
306
00:13:34,924 --> 00:13:36,492
Uh-chunka- chunkachunka-boom!
307
00:13:36,592 --> 00:13:38,428
Splash! Duka-duka-duka-duka!
308
00:13:38,528 --> 00:13:40,930
Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo! Boom!
309
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,198
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
310
00:13:42,298 --> 00:13:45,100
See? It's working!
311
00:13:45,201 --> 00:13:48,204
ROGU: Screen time.
312
00:13:48,304 --> 00:13:51,106
♪♪
313
00:13:51,207 --> 00:13:53,276
(CRYING)
314
00:13:53,376 --> 00:13:55,110
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
315
00:13:55,211 --> 00:13:57,847
(CROWD GASPING)
316
00:13:57,947 --> 00:14:00,583
Look at this antique nickel I found
317
00:14:00,683 --> 00:14:02,918
at the bottom of one of the toilets!
318
00:14:03,018 --> 00:14:05,225
Look! Excuse me!
319
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:06,622
Hello?
320
00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:10,593
ROGER: ♪ Three blind guys,
three blind guys ♪
321
00:14:10,693 --> 00:14:14,346
♪ Sperm in their eyes,
sperm in their eyes ♪
322
00:14:14,381 --> 00:14:16,131
♪ This actually might be my lucky day ♪
323
00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:18,401
- ♪ I'm taking their wallets and running away ♪
- Daddy have voice of angel.
324
00:14:18,501 --> 00:14:22,238
- ♪ Three blind guys, three blind guys ♪
- It's working!
325
00:14:22,338 --> 00:14:25,975
ROGER: ♪ Rogu's in the bathtub
while Daddy's with a John ♪
326
00:14:26,075 --> 00:14:27,977
♪ With a uh-huh here
and a don't stop there ♪
327
00:14:28,077 --> 00:14:29,945
Yay, Daddy.
328
00:14:30,045 --> 00:14:31,213
ROGER: ♪ "Oh, God!" ♪
329
00:14:31,314 --> 00:14:33,115
Okay, we can steer him.
330
00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:34,650
Where the hell do we want to go?
331
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,820
I heard New Orleans is dank as hell.
332
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,723
Wait, Rogu likes to be rocked to sleep.
333
00:14:40,823 --> 00:14:42,558
Oh, perfect, and did you forget
334
00:14:42,658 --> 00:14:45,328
that this nerd is three stories tall?!
335
00:14:45,428 --> 00:14:47,630
No, the Viking Ship!
336
00:14:47,730 --> 00:14:49,732
We need to get him on that ride!
337
00:14:49,832 --> 00:14:52,302
Roger said sleep fixes everything!
338
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:55,638
ROGER:
♪ Something something La Cucaracha ♪
339
00:14:55,738 --> 00:14:59,609
♪ Rogu's in the bathtub
while Daddy's with a John ♪
340
00:14:59,709 --> 00:15:01,744
♪ With a uh-huh here
and a don't stop there ♪
341
00:15:01,844 --> 00:15:02,978
♪ Here an uuughhh, there an uggghhh ♪
342
00:15:03,078 --> 00:15:04,914
♪ Everywhere an "Oh, God!" ♪
343
00:15:05,014 --> 00:15:08,351
♪ Three blind guys, three blind guys ♪
344
00:15:08,451 --> 00:15:11,821
♪ Sperm in their eyes,
sperm in their eyes ♪
345
00:15:11,921 --> 00:15:14,023
♪ This actually might be my lucky day ♪
346
00:15:14,123 --> 00:15:16,759
♪ I'm taking their
wallets and running away ♪
347
00:15:16,859 --> 00:15:20,198
♪ Three blind guys, three blind guys ♪
348
00:15:20,233 --> 00:15:21,697
You did it!
349
00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:23,599
I've used lesser occasions than this
350
00:15:23,699 --> 00:15:25,935
as an excuse to break out the Cubans.
351
00:15:26,782 --> 00:15:29,839
Steve, have you never seen
me smoke a cigar before?
352
00:15:29,939 --> 00:15:32,041
You're in for a treat.
353
00:15:33,709 --> 00:15:35,144
It's the CIA!
354
00:15:35,244 --> 00:15:36,812
Where's the big one?
355
00:15:36,912 --> 00:15:38,648
Ah, forget about him.
356
00:15:38,748 --> 00:15:41,684
Bring me that
delicious-looking creature.
357
00:15:41,784 --> 00:15:46,155
♪♪
358
00:15:46,255 --> 00:15:48,023
No!
359
00:15:48,123 --> 00:15:49,392
Rogu!
360
00:15:49,492 --> 00:15:54,464
No, boy-whose-name- I-didn't-catch.
361
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:02,362
This better be good.
I'm missing the halftime show.
362
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,964
Ronnie from "Jersey Shore"
363
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,399
is trying to drink a big
thing of salsa onstage.
364
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,901
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
365
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,670
Ugh. "Where were you when
Ronnie drank the stuff?"
366
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,139
I was in the parking
lot with two nutsacks.
367
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:16,542
I'm sorry, Mom. I really messed up.
368
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,846
Roger let me babysit Rogu so
I could prove to you I could!
369
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,714
And now the CIA has him!
370
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,184
I knew your ass wasn't ready.
371
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:25,919
The CIA, huh?
372
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:29,255
Lucky for you, I slap uglies
with a guy who works there.
373
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,357
Ugh, can't you call it making love?
374
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:32,658
And can't you just call him Dad?
375
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,694
I'm on the phone!
376
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,197
(CELLPHONE VIBRATES)
377
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,565
I can see the glint of the oyster can.
378
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,567
You sure you don't want something else?
379
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,004
Wait, actually,
do you have that prehistoric fish,
380
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,539
the whatchamacallit, the...
the coelacanth?
381
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,774
- Unfortunately, no.
- Did you check in the back?
382
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,377
- No, I never left.
- Then it's hole time, baby.
383
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:53,951
He's not answering.
384
00:16:54,015 --> 00:16:57,117
Well, that's the risk you
take when you use a phone.
385
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,419
I'm out.
386
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,088
- (SIGHS)
- Don't worry, Steve.
387
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:05,458
You forget that I'm here with...
Moms Club.
388
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,193
Leave it to us.
389
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,794
But you said the same thing
390
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,364
when I found that lump behind my ear...
391
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,433
and it just keeps getting bigger.
392
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,268
Moms Club will get to it.
393
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,737
Right after we kick some ass.
394
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:23,143
♪♪
395
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,245
Moms Club!
396
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,147
Moms Club!
397
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:31,584
♪♪
398
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,086
Moms Club!
399
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,487
Oh, my God.
400
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:38,324
Yeah, Steve. We're moms, but we're cool.
401
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:39,892
♪♪
402
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:42,562
Rogu, are you in here?
403
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,564
♪♪
404
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:45,932
Cool.
405
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,300
Check it out.
406
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,568
(GOOFY VOICE) I'm Doctor Fart Face,
407
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,503
and I need 10cc of diarrhea.
408
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,405
Shh! You're embarrassing yourself.
409
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,507
That's not what Doctor
Fart Face sounds like.
410
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,610
Uh-oh. Steve's clearly
lost his funny bone.
411
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,980
We need to revive it. Boop!
412
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:04,985
♪♪
413
00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,120
Where's Rogu?
414
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,622
- D-Did you hurt him?
- It's hard to say.
415
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,857
You see, we jammed him
through a sausage grinder
416
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,926
and microwaved him on
the popcorn setting.
417
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,161
Mwah!
418
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,597
You ate him?! Why?!
419
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,166
Because we're the Exotic Food Club.
420
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,302
And there's nothing more exotic
421
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,271
than that little mutant of yours.
422
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:28,674
(CRYING)
423
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,676
I can't believe he's gone.
424
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:34,114
I-I just... I just wish
I could have done more.
425
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:39,552
More! Rogu's still alive!
426
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,621
And I know how to get him out of there.
427
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:45,225
Hey, Rogu. You want some screen time?
428
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:48,394
WOMAN: ♪ Nutri-Grain
bar and a Mountain Dew ♪
429
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:53,633
♪ Nutri-Grain bar and a Mountain Dew ♪
430
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,036
♪♪
431
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:59,205
No! I've never met a dish
I couldn't hold down.
432
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:01,807
That's, like,
the coolest thing about me.
433
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:05,911
♪♪
434
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,714
(SCREAMS)
435
00:19:10,665 --> 00:19:12,752
Rogu, you're okay!
436
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:14,054
Ehh?
437
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,022
Yeah, I don't... I don't want that.
438
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,591
Seriously. Put it... Just put it...
439
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:19,992
Put it down!
440
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:23,096
Now come here and hug me.
441
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:24,497
Sorry, bud.
442
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:25,931
I wanted to take care of you,
443
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:29,935
but Mom was right...
I'm clearly not ready.
444
00:19:31,326 --> 00:19:34,907
Look, Steve, when I said
you weren't ready to babysit,
445
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:39,079
I guess I meant I wasn't
ready for you to babysit.
446
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:40,713
What?
447
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:44,550
See, once you're old enough
to take care of kids,
448
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,420
it means you don't need
me to take care of you.
449
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,457
Mom, I'll always need you.
450
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:53,726
I mean, look how badly
I screwed this up.
451
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,595
Oh, Steve.
452
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,197
I'll make you a deal.
453
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,765
When I'm old and my memory is shot
454
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,302
and I'm losing control of my bowels,
455
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:07,207
I'll move into your home and
you can babysit me every day.
456
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:10,976
"Who peed on the couch," you'll say,
pretending you don't know.
457
00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:13,246
And I'll blame it on the wild dogs
458
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:16,449
I keep claiming to see
around the neighborhood.
459
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,484
Yay.
460
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:21,154
Canned oysters!
461
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:25,425
Aw, man, I missed the entire meal?
462
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,661
More for me, I guess.
463
00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:31,431
♪♪
464
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:35,968
Did Roger say anything
about Rogu and shellfish?
465
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,570
♪♪
466
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,739
(GROWLS)
467
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,407
(GASPS)
468
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,776
(ROARS)
469
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:48,248
♪♪
470
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,250
Steve! Steve!
471
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,585
You're not gonna believe it, Steve!
472
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,520
The Sharks won!
473
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,922
They did it! They won!
474
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:58,991
I'm a sports fan now.
475
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,993
Bye. Have a great time.
476
00:21:03,004 --> 00:21:05,044
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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