Original subtitles

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we had a dream we'd go travelin' together

♪ and spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on

♪ somethin' always happens whenever we're together

♪ we get a happy feelin' when we're singin' a song

♪ travelin' along there's a song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ na na-na-na na-na-na

♪ na-na-na, ooh

♪ na na-na-na na-na-na

♪ na-na-na ♪ god bless you, girl if this is it

♪ don't explain it try to show me

♪ god bless you, girl you can't explain

♪ there ain't a blessed thing you owe me

♪ come on now you know me

♪ I'm not the kind of guy

♪ who'll sit and wonder why

♪ you've played your hand and I've played mine

♪ and now it's just about that time

♪ I guess we reached the end of the line

♪ god bless you, girl 'cause you're free

♪ motivated by a spirit

♪ god bless you, girl I can see

♪ it's your ship and you must steer it

♪ no one's getting near it

♪ you just can't stay too long

♪ and sing that same old song

♪ the picture's yours the clock is mine

♪ and now it's just about that time

♪ I guess we reached the end of the line

♪ na na-na-na na-na-na

♪ na-na-na, ooh

♪ goodbye, girl it's your life

♪ and you can live it

♪ so long, girl it's your life... ♪

Danny: Come on, Keith, quit trying to hear our play.

Well hurry up, it didn't take the green bay packers this long

to play their whole season.

Okay, here's the plan.

Tracy, you go out left and fake a stomach ache.

Stomach ache?

Trust me.

Laurie, I'm gonna center it so you're quarterback.

Fine, but why should she go out and fake a stomach ache?

If you wanna win, listen to me, all right? Break.

Break.

Okay, I got Danny.

I got Tracy.

I got a stomach ache.

What?

Hike.

Run, Danny, run!

Come on, I'm open!

Why, you little sneak.

What kind of a pass was that?

You could have had it if you ran.

And I had arms 14-feet long.

Hi. What's up?

Not this.

Hi, Reuben. Hi.

I'm sorry about the football,

but I have some news that should more than make up for it.

I've lined up a tremendous booking for this weekend.

Where?

Rose mansion.

No kidding?

Yeah.

Where's Rose mansion?

I've never heard of it.

Neither have I.

You get all the biggies.

Yeah, okay, all right.

Now, wait a minute. I'd never heard of it either till the manager called

and described it to me. It's a little out-of-the-way resort in the mountains,

all expenses paid. Beautiful accommodations, and a terrific salary.

Well, I love the mountains.

Sounds great. How about it?

Well, I don't see why not. It sounds different anyway.

Reuben, we owe you an apology.

Nah.

On behalf of the entire family and for your untiring dedication,

I award you the game ball.

(All chuckling)

Keith: ♪ 'cause it sounds like you're saying hello

♪ hello

♪ but it feels like you mean goodbye

♪ yes, it sounds like you're saying hello

♪ hello

♪ with every word that you say I want to cry

♪ 'cause it sounds like you're saying hello

♪ hello

♪ but it feels like you mean goodbye

♪ hello, goodbye

bravo! Marvelous!

I'll see everyone at dinner.

This is some resort.

It must not be their busy season.

Beautiful, great show.

Well, thanks, but it's a little strange outnumbering our audience.

Yeah, well,

I know you must have a couple of questions.

A couple of questions?

Reuben, we're flown to a private airstrip, driven here

in a limousine, rushed into a room to change, and then come out

on stage and play for an audience of one?

And he loved you!

And that's another thing,

who is he?

Yeah. Well, uh, while you were on,

I had a little talk with the gardener. Apparently Rose mansion

is not a resort, it's what Sidney Rose calls his estate.

That was Sidney Rose?

Yeah.

The melba-toast baron?

The melba-toast baron?

Danny, what are you talking about?

Sidney Rose, estimated value $280 million,

born of poor but noble prussian parents

came to the United States in 1947

and, practically overnight, made millions in melba toast.

How did you know all that?

He's in my book, so you want to be a millionaire.

Well, at least we do know who our host is.

Well, why don't we get cleaned up and meet him for dinner?

To meet Sidney Rose, I'd even take a bath.

He must be big.

This is my kind of place.

Yeah. It must have cost a lot of bread.

Not bread. Melba toast.

Mom, if Mr. Rose is so rich, why doesn't he turn the lights up?

Danny: It isn't posh to eat with the lights up.

I wonder what we're having for dinner.

It doesn't look like cheeseburgers.

Tracy, wait till Mr. Rose is seated.

He is joining us, isn't he?

Yes, madam.

He'll be here presently.

Is it true Mr. Rose is a hermit?

Chris.

Well, that's what Danny told me.

It's in my book. It says he hardly ever goes out.

That doesn't necessarily mean he's a hermit.

I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, that's, uh, quite, uh...

No, please, the boy's right, uh...

If anyone should apologize, it's I for spying on you.

Mr. Rose.

I'm sorry. I...

I guess I owe you an explanation.

In order to protect my privacy, I see very few people.

It, uh, gets very lonely here when you have no family. Uh, perhaps, uh...

Perhaps I was looking for something that a family could offer.

I've always enjoyed your music,

and so I said to myself, "Why not meet them in person?"

I'm... I'm sorry about the disguise,

but I had to be sure I could trust you.

If you want to leave now, I'll understand.

Look, Mr. Rose,

perhaps there's one thing you don't know about our family.

We seldom pass up a free meal.

Then you'll stay? We'd love to, but no more disguises.

Oh, I promise. Well, that's wonderful. Let's eat.

Cheeseburgers!

I thought they'd be appropriate.

He's not only rich, he's a gourmet, too.

(All laughing)

Tell another story, uncle Sidney.

Shirley: Chris, I'm afraid we're gonna have to put that off

until another time. We do have a long trip tomorrow.

You're not leaving? I'm afraid so.

Nonsense. Spend the week.

That's very nice of you, but we can't.

You see, they have a club date tomorrow night.

Well, whatever you're being paid, I'll double it.

Well, it's not the money. We've signed a contract.

Then I'll triple it.

Do I hear four?

I'm sorry. We have to go.

Why don't you come and see us at the club?

Hmm. I don't know. Uh, you see, there'll be people,

uh, at that club.

I suppose I could.

I'll have to check with my accountant first to see if I can afford it.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the partridge family!

Don't stop!

On with the show!

Almost a week now, and he wanted to see you,

so he bought out the house.

There are less expensive ways of seeing us.

We can't go on meeting like this.

With $280 million,

he can go on meeting like this forever.

It's a little difficult to put any feeling into a love song

when you're only singing to uncle Sidney.

Laurie: Hi, Mr. Rose. Hi, Sidney

were you surprised?

Well, yes.

You should have seen the look on the maitre d's face when I ordered

200 tables up front.

I can imagine.

You know, you were all great,

as usual, but, Keith, you could put a little more feeling

into some of your love songs.

Sidney: By the way, where's your next gig?

You wouldn't like the place. It's a hangout

for reporters, detectives, and gossip columnists.

Well, that's no problem.

I just put on a disguise and buy out the place again.

Instead of buying out every club,

why don't you try sitting in the audience?

No, I couldn't do that. There are people in the audience.

Why don't you all come up to my place for a couple of weeks?

Everybody.

Why don't you come and spend a few days with us?

No, I couldn't do that either.

There are people where you live.

Mom, I couldn't sleep.

I have something on my mind, and I just have to tell somebody.

What is it?

Well, when uncle Sidney said goodbye the other night,

I realized I might never see him again.

Yes?

Well, I thought about all that money, and I had this terrible urge

to run up and scream, "Adopt me! I'm young. I'll work hard."

I just had to tell somebody. I feel so guilty.

Do you still feel guilty?

No. I feel like a fool

for telling you. Psychology is so complicated.

Yes, it is, but I'm sure glad you decided to stay.

(Doorbell rings)

May I have a word with you? It's about Sidney Rose.

What is it?

I'm him.

I wonder why Mr. Rose changed his mind and came to visit us.

I think he's unhappy.

Mom, he's got 280 million reasons not to be unhappy.

Well, maybe he missed the littler things in life, like walking in the rain

or hearing a baby cry or stopping for pizza.

Pizza?

He's got enough money to put anchovies on Italy.

Good morning.

Good morning. Did you sleep well?

Like a baby.

Just in time for breakfast.

Breakfast, ah!

Don't tell me. Let me guess. Eggs Benedict!

Would you settle for, uh, oatmeal Shirley?

Why not?

I served you cheeseburgers.

Welcome to the family.

Sidney: I'm almost ready!

What disguise do you think uncle Sidney's gonna show us next?

I hope he's a bunny.

I hope he's a gorilla.

He looks just like mom.

It is mom.

What are you kids up to?

Uncle Sidney's showing us his disguises.

Excuse me, uh... Where's this TV set that's on the blink?

Is that it over there?

Uncle Sidney?

Nope. Phil Johnson's the name. TV's my game. See, TV fix-it?

Yeah. How do you like it?

Oh, it's just marvelous.

Thank you. It's not as good as a bunny.

Wouldn't you know it? I left my bunny suit at the cleaners.

Hi. Guess who I brought with me.

How do you do? I'm merle Pearson.

Yes, of course. How do you do?

I've seen your television show.

Merle, this is Laurie. Laurie: Hello

and Chris and Tracy and...

Oh, Phil Johnson! Phil Johnson, TV repair. See? TV fix-it?

Well, now that we all know each other, shall we get started?

Started?

Yeah. Uh, yeah, merle's here to interview you and the family.

When I told him we did a special command performance for Sidney Rose, he...

I jumped at the chance to interview you.

I've tried to get a story on that rascal for years.

Oh, um... well, uh... Mr. Pearson, I...

I'm afraid we can't do the interview today.

Maybe some other time.

Shirley. Well, my hair's a mess, Reuben,

and the kids were just gonna go outside and play,

and Laurie hasn't done her homework.

Geometry.

And Keith and Danny

aren't even here.

Hi, everyone. What's going on?

Us, on the merle Pearson show.

Laurie: That's good timing, fellas.

It was all my fault, Sidney.

If I'd known you were here... No harm done.

He didn't recognize me. I'll have to use that disguise more often.

It's more effective than my bunny suit.

Sidney's right, Reuben.

There's no harm done.

There. How's that?

That's fine. Now turn it up because merle Pearson's on next.

Merle on TV: Good evening. Today, we visited the home of the partridge family,

here in San pueblo, to talk with them about their recent,

private performance for millionaire recluse Sidney Rose.

Having followed Rose's career for many years,

I was quite interested to hear what had happened to him,

and here's how it went.

I found the partridges a very charming and delightful family,

warm and friendly.

I look terrific.

Picture's more distorted than we thought.

And I also found something I hadn't expected.

A man disguised as a TV repairman,

a man who tried his best to go unnoticed in that living room,

a man who, under that disguise, is the real Sidney Rose,

now a houseguest of the partridge family.

Yes, after 20 years...

(Turns TV off)

Sidney, I'm sorry.

He must have known the whole time.

Oh, Sidney, we're all so sorry.

It's not your fault.

We'll sue.

No, I'll go back to my estate right away.

By tomorrow morning, there's gonna be a crowd of people

in your front yard.

You're just gonna run away?

Sidney, don't you think it's time you stopped living like this?

But you don't understand.

See, the crowds, the publicity, I...

All right.

So there'll be crowds and publicity, but that can't last forever.

In time, it'll all blow over, and you can live a normal life.

If you don't even try, you'll never know how nice it can be.

Well, it's been pretty nice facing all of you.

If you can face all of us, you can face anybody.

All right. I'll give it a try.

How's that for courage?

John Wayne, eat your heart out.

Mom, you're not gonna believe this.

How many are out there?

Nobody.

Nobody?

The only thing in the paper about Sidney is a fire in Sydney, Australia.

Well, what are we gonna do?

For 20 years, he's had a fear of crowds, and now there's no one there.

Morning. Morning.

I thought you were finished with disguises.

Yeah, well, I...

I stayed up all night, thinking about facing that crowd,

and I just can't do it. It's hard to break old habits.

Sidney, I think there's something I should tell you.

I know what you're gonna say, and don't worry.

I'll pay for any damage the crowd does to your lawn.

That isn't it.

The limousine arrive yet? Yes.

Police escort? Yes.

Good. Don't wanna get trapped by that mob.

Mom, I went around the corner to see if anybody was there,

and no one showed up.

What are you talking about?

Sidney, there isn't a crowd.

You're joking.

There's nobody there.

Come on. Don't kid around with me.

I... I guess a lot of people were out of town this weekend.

Thanks. Well...

I guess it's not the crowd that I'm afraid of.

It's the truth.

I'm finally beginning to realize that I'm not the mysterious Sidney Rose

that the public can't wait to get a glimpse of.

I'm just a fool that stumbled on a fortune and thought he was a big deal.

Sidney, you're being too hard on yourself. You're a kind, wonderful man.

I know you're trying to be nice to me, and I appreciate it,

but I've got to face what I am.

What you are is a man who's used his money

to help an awful lot of people.

You're the kind of millionaire I've always wanted to be.

Well, I appreciate what you're saying,

and you're very kind, but...

I think I'll just go home.

I don't know how to tell you this,

but Sidney bought out the whole house again.

Reuben, no.

I tried everything. I just couldn't stop him.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the partridge family!

(Sidney applauding)

(Audience applauding)

(Playing one night stand)

♪ every night, a different town, I sing my song

♪ play and sing and pack my things and move along

♪ a pretty face, another place I'll never get to know

♪ a one-night stand, another show

♪ my guitar, a railroad car, a bus or plane

♪ do do do-do-do

♪ a chocolate bar, and there you are, the price of fame

♪ do do do-do-do

♪ if I could do what I want to I'd stay and never go

♪ the one-night stand is all I know

♪ I wish that I could be two people

♪ I wish that I could be two people

♪ instead of being on my own

♪ instead of being on my own

♪ I wish that I could be two people

♪ I wish that I could be two people

♪ and then I'd never be alone

♪ and then I'd never be alone

♪ photographs of where I've been and all I've done

♪ do do do-do-do

♪ in this whole world, is there a girl? No, not one

♪ do do do-do-do

♪ goodbye, hello I've got to go I hope you'll understand

♪ a one-night man is all I am

♪ a one-night stand a one-night man

♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do

♪ do-do-do do-do

♪ do-do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do

♪ do-do-do do-do-do do-do-do do-do

♪ goodbye, hello I've got to go I hope you'll understand

♪ a one-night man is all I am

♪ a one-night stand a one-night man ♪

Now, that's the way to buy out the house.

Did I surprise you?

It was a wonderful surprise.

I thought everyone was great, as usual.

Now, that's the best costume of all, yourself.

Pretty jazzed-up, aren't I?

You look like a million.

Make that several million.

I just wanted to come back and thank you all for what you've done.

Without you, I'd still be up at that estate, alone.

Well, now that you're out in the world again, how do you like it?

(Knocking on door) Well...

Sidney, dear, we're gonna be late for our dinner reservations.

Mmm-hmm.

I must say, it does offer certain advantages.