Original subtitles

♪ Hello, world, hear the song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we had a dream we'd go travelin' together

♪ and spread a little lovin' then we'd keep movin' on

♪ somethin' always happens whenever we're together

♪ we get a happy feelin' when we're singin' a song

♪ travelin' along there's a song that we're singin'

♪ come on, get happy

♪ a whole lot of lovin' is what we'll be bringin'

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

♪ we'll make you happy

(sunshine playing)

♪ we got the sunshine in our hands

♪ I've got the sunshine in my hands

♪ you've got the sunshine in your hands

♪ now let it shine all over this land

♪ holy, holy

♪ glory, glory

♪ hallelujah I believe it now

♪ holy, holy

♪ glory, glory

♪ you can give without receiving

♪ you've got the sunshine

♪ we've got the sunshine

♪ I've got the sunshine

♪ you've got the sunshine

♪ holy, holy

♪ glory, glory

♪ I've got the sunshine

♪ you've got the sunshine

♪ sunshine in my hands

♪ you've got the sunshine in your hands

♪ we've got the sunshine in our hands

♪ now let it shine all over this land

♪ you've got to love, love one another

♪ whoa, shine, shine on your brother

♪ and the whole world will discover

♪ in the arms of every woman and man

♪ you've got the sunshine

♪ we got the sunshine

♪ I've got the sunshine in my hands

♪ you've got the sunshine in your hands

♪ we've got the sunshine in our hands

♪ now let it shine

♪ all over this land

(all harmonizing)

(Audience applauding)

(Audience cheering)

Okay. You wanted to watch the monster from the red planet.

We watched it. Now it's my turn to pick.

Let's face it.

Sunday TV is either monster movies or sermonettes.

Where are the TV listings?

Oh, I have them.

There were a lot of good recipes this Sunday.

(Knocking on door)

Come in.

(Door opens) Hi, Reuben.

Hi Reuben. Hi.

Hi. I thought you had

some sort of special meeting this afternoon.

Yeah, I just did.

Then I came straight over.

I want you all to watch something on TV.

(TV channels changing)

And I want your honest reaction.

Announcer: Uncle erwin's country fried chicken presents

the Dixie melodies of 1938.

You hurried over to make us watch Dixie melodies of 1938?

Can we give you our honest reaction now,

or do we have to sit through the whole picture?

Not the movie. The first commercial.

It should be on about now.

Announcer: In a moment, the Dixie melodies of 1938,

but first this word.

(Chiming)

Erwin on TV: Hi, folks. Uncle erwin for uncle erwin's country chicken.

I'm here with my little barnyard friend elroy.

Say hello to the folks, elroy.

Hello, folks.

Now, elroy done come by here

to tell y'all about my new...

(Triangle chiming) Come-and-get-it special.

Take it away, elroy. Thank you, uncle erwin.

The come-and-get-it special

is just for you kids.

Two delicious drumsticks, lots of fries,

plus uncle erwin's special musical triangle.

Why, you can play everything from Bacharach to Beethoven

and Bacharach again.

(Laughing)

So get on down to your nearest

uncle erwin's country chicken store.

Chicken so good, you'll crow for more.

(Erwin crows)

All right, take it, Roy.

Well, what do you think?

(Chuckles) Well, the question isn't, "What do we think?" It's,

"why do you ask?"

Reuben, that special meeting this afternoon,

would it by any chance have been with uncle erwin?

Well, as a matter of fact, it was.

You see, he's looking for a new advertising concept.

What he wants is the partridge family.

No. Never.

No way.

Forget it. Ditto.

Tracy? Double ditto.

Reuben, we are not going on television

for uncle erwin's country chicken.

That's the worst commercial I...

That is just the point. It wouldn't be like the one you saw.

He wants to do a quality commercial.

(Sighs)

Shirley, would I even listen to the man's offer

if there was any question of taste?

We know you wouldn't ask us to do anything

that wasn't in our best interest.

But how do we know we won't have to talk to a rooster

by the name of elroy?

Meet the man.

Shirley, it's a good product, isn't it?

Of course it is. We buy the chicken all the time,

but that commercial...

And I have erwin's promise that this commercial will be

simple, tasteful, and appealing.

Well...

(Sighs) I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk to the man.

What we had in mind was

kind of a pleasant Meadow, maybe a picnic.

A nice family.

Well, that's where you all come in.

Enjoying the day

and each other, and, of course,

a big bucket of uncle erwin's country fried chicken.

Well, that sounds nice.

Yes, it does.

What makes it so special for us is that,

well, you all are in it, and I mean all of you.

Now, I want you to know that you were not my first choice.

You was my only choice.

Now, what do you say? How about it?

Well, it sounds very impressive.

Kids? Sure.

Fine with me. Let's do it.

In that case,

we'd be glad to do your commercial, erwin.

(People chattering)

First time I've ever been nervous about a picnic.

Ah, there's nothing to it.

You just act natural.

Director: Okay, Nick, hop on the crane.

(Director claps)

Try to stay awake.

We want to shoot this today.

Mrs. Partridge,

I know that you're new at this sort of thing.

Just think of this as a normal picnic.

It's a beautiful day. You're out with your family,

enjoying the great outdoors, okay?

Okay.

Okay, boys, let's go for a take.

Man: Partridge family, chicken commercial, take one.

(Instrumental music playing)

Announcer: Another pleasant day,

compliments of uncle erwin's country fried chicken.

I think that really says it.

That's very impressive.

Thanks to the partridge family,

it's exactly what we wanted.

I don't want to sound immodest,

but I think it was just great.

The franchise owners will be very pleased

when we show it to them, erwin.

Hmm. It is everything we wanted,

except for one thing.

Director: What's that, erwin?

Well, I... I don't rightly know.

There is something the matter.

Now, I can't quite put my finger on it, but...

I will. Mmm-hmm.

I most surely will.

(Romantic music playing)

Now. Here we go. For you.

Oh, Reuben, champagne.

(Giggles) You shouldn't have.

Oh, no doubt about it.

This is going to be an evening to remember.

(Sighs)

Reuben. What kind of a girl do you think I am?

You were right the first time.

(Phone ringing)

Aren't you going to answer it?

A little later. When?

Maybe tomorrow.

Reuben, I think you better answer it now.

The ringing doesn't go with the music.

All right.

(Ringing continues)

(Sighs)

Hello. Oh, hi, Shirley.

Listen, could I call you back?

Come over?

Well, now?

Well, couldn't it wait until later?

Erwin?

It doesn't make him think chicken?

Well, what is the one little change he wants to make?

Well, can't you just tell me?

Why do I have to come over?

Yeah, all right. All right.

I'll be right over. Yeah.

Reuben.

Why me?

Why does it always happen to me?

Never happens to anybody else,

but it always happens to me.

Bonnie, uh, I'll be back as soon as I can.

Reuben.

You won't be long, will you?

Oh, you'll, uh... You'll miss me, huh?

Well, no, but I have a flight later, and I'm starved.

Do you think you could pick up a pepperoni pizza

on your way home?

Pepperoni? Hmm.

Right.

Reuben?

Yes, Bonnie?

No anchovies.

No anchovies.

Shirley. Shirley: In the living room, Reuben.

All right, Shirley, what was so important

that it couldn't have waited until...

(Chuckles)

(Clears throat)

This is erwin's one little change.

Oh.

Well, Shirley, you got to admit one thing.

What?

It does make you think chicken.

Reuben: Fine, but, Mr. Lingella, give me one good reason

why my clients should have to do a second commercial

in chicken suits.

Yeah, well... Mister... Mr. Lingella?

I only asked for one reason.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Well? Oh, that was, uh,

erwin's attorney, uh, Mr. Lingella.

Mmm-hmm. A very, very capable lawyer.

Reuben, we know it was his lawyer.

Do we have to do the other commercial?

Let me put it this way.

Erwin makes the world's best fried chicken,

and his lawyer makes the world's tightest contracts.

Well, I've got a simple solution.

We just won't do it.

Oh, then we get sued, and they stop us from working anywhere.

Then I guess we do it. If we do it,

we won't be able to get a date playing a supermarket.

Well, if we can't do it and we can't not do it,

what do we do?

Six lunks in chicken suits. We're finished.

Our only hope is if erwin doesn't like the second commercial either.

(Sighs)

What did you just say?

I didn't say anything.

Yes, you did.

You said, "Our only hope is

"if erwin doesn't like the second commercial either."

Keith, what are you getting at?

Well, don't you see? It's simple.

We do a commercial so bad that even erwin won't like it.

(Sighs) I don't know. It sounds underhanded.

You call this playing fair?

Now, I know you all probably came here

to tell me you do not like the idea of the chicken suits.

But this is one case where I have to rely on my instincts.

You don't spend 40 years around chickens without some of it rubbing off.

Well, you know what I mean.

Erwin, we're not here to complain.

You're not? No, actually,

we thought it over, and decided maybe you're right.

We just thought we might add a couple of things ourselves.

Yeah, we'd take your idea and build on it.

Sort of take your style and run with it.

Mmm-hmm. You mean you like my style?

Well, it, uh, grows on you.

That sounds just fine. I mean, just fine.

Well, thank you very much.

Oh, thank you. Will you be at the, uh,

filming by any chance?

I'd love to. Ah.

But I can't.

(All sighing in relief)

Ah, you can't. Well, that's too bad.

However, I will be back in time

to play the commercial for the franchise owner convention.

Till then, now, don't you all do anything I wouldn't do, you hear?

You can bet on that. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Bye.

(Zany music playing)

Announcer: Another pleasant day,

compliments of uncle erwin's country fried chicken.

Well, erwin?

What do you think?

I don't like it.

No, sir. I just don't like it.

I love it.

You love it?

Best commercial I ever did see.

Forget about that first one.

I can't wait to get this one on the air.

(Sighs)

(Clears throat)

Well, cheer up, kids.

You're not going out there to face a firing squad.

Danny: This is worse.

At least when you face a firing squad,

they give you a blindfold.

Yeah, if we're embarrassed now,

think what it'll be like when they show it on television.

I'd rather not think about that, if you don't mind.

I wonder if they could use a cute redhead in the foreign legion.

Wait a minute.

Why are we so worried?

I assume that's a rhetorical question.

We don't like the commercial, right?

Now, where did mama ever get an idea like that?

Look, there's a whole roomful of people out there

that feel just like us.

Embarrassed?

Shirley, what are you getting at?

Reuben, you have to do something fast.

Come with me.

(Audience cheering)

Erwin: And now, ladies and gentlemen,

it's time for that special treat I told y'all about earlier.

As you all know, I'm about to embark

on a different concept of advertising,

and the first step is a new television commercial.

So, without further delay, let's just, uh,

let's just have a look at it, shall we?

(Audience cheering)

(Zany music playing)

Oh, hi, Shirley.

I'm just showing them the commercial.

I know.

(Audience murmuring)

Everything's all set.

(Murmuring continues)

They're not laughing.

(Laughing)

Announcer: Another pleasant day,

compliments of uncle erwin's country fried chicken.

Hey, uncle erwin. Come on out here.

Hey, that's a great joke.

Now, where's the real commercial?

The real commercial?

Audience: Yeah. Yeah.

(Audience murmuring)

(Audience cheering)

Thank you very much.

We hope you all enjoyed

uncle erwin's little joke.

(All laughing)

We had great fun doing it.

Now we have the real commercial for you.

We do? We do.

This is a film that we're all very proud of.

We hope you like it.

(Audience cheering)

Shirley, how did you know that they...

Just intuition, I guess.

What if they don't like it any better than the other one?

(Instrumental music playing)

(Audience murmuring)

Announcer: Another pleasant day,

compliments of uncle erwin's country fried chicken.

(All cheering)

I don't know how to thank you, Shirley.

Well, it isn't necessary.

I think you done a favor for both of us.

Well, no offense, but, um, I think you're right.

(Both laughing)

(Playing friend and a lover)

All: (Singing) ♪ na-na na-na-na

♪ na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na na na na-na na na

♪ caught in a dead end

♪ you took the wrong bend

♪ to you I'm a friend

♪ but I wanna be your lover

♪ caught in a hurricane

♪ out in the cold rain

♪ couldn't make it much plainer

♪ but you still can't discover

♪ that I wanna be your lover

♪ na na na-na na na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na na

♪ na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na na na na-na na na

♪ night and day day and night

♪ night and day and night

♪ oh, I need you all: ♪ I need you

♪ right by my side

♪ inside, outside upside down

♪ everything is turned around without you ♪ without you

♪ up on a tightrope below there's no hope

♪ no hope

♪ 'cause I'm only your friend

♪ and I wanna be your lover

♪ caught in a landslide

♪ feel like it's low tide ♪ low tide

♪ well, I swallowed my pride

♪ but you still can't discover that I wanna be your lover

♪ na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na na

♪ na na na-na na na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na

♪ na na na-na na na

(audience cheering)

Reuben: It won't take very long, Shirley.

All I want you to do is explain to Bonnie

why I've been standing her up so much lately.

Reuben, what good would it do for me to explain to miss kleinschmitt?

I mean, wouldn't a note from your mother work better?

Oh, that's funny. That's very funny.

(Giggles)

Well, here we go.

Uh, who are you?

I'm Gwen. Oh.

Where's Bonnie?

Oh, she couldn't make it.

Uh, I guess you could say she sent me to sort of fill in.

Oh, she did, did she?

(Giggles)

Well, that was thoughtful.

Yeah, but I had no idea you had a date.

Date? Oh. Oh, no.

No, she was just, uh, seeing me to the door.

Hey, thanks a lot, sis.

I think I can take it from here.

Are you sure you don't want me to stay?

No. I mean, that won't be necessary.

Gwen will keep me company.

Oh, good. I'll go and call frank.

Sure, you go and get... frank?

My husband.

Oh, Bonnie thought you might enjoy the two of us

keeping you company.

The two of you?

(Chuckles)

Kleinschmitt one, Kincaid nothing.